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The "Proper" Way To Do What the Above Poster Says

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Run into battle naked. No wait, that might actually work to your advantage...

The proper way to help the homeless is...

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Force yourself on them. But then you will go to jail...and get homeruns from fat hairy guys named Bubba...

The proper way to chew bubble gum is...

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To swallow it.

The proper way to convince someone to join the navy is...

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In a football suit!

That's dirty.

And needs to be washed.

***

The proper way to divide thoughts in a post which contains linebreaks used for non-thought-dividing purposes is...

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Ship everybody with your mary sue/gary stu self insert. EVERYBODY. Even characters who have a canon partner. Even characters who are too young. Even characters who are too old. Even characters who are of a race that wouldn't be sexually or reproductively compatible with as before mentioned self insert. And the self insert parents a kid or two with all of them. Write out the sex scenes in intimate detail with vulgar language.

The proper way to Christmas shop is...

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On Christmas Eve, at 11 PM.

The proper way to fight off giant spiders is...

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To lock the door while you're inside it, with the hope you'll gain superpowers.

The proper way to pick a lock is...

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Apply for a contest you find in your mail and keep sending one payment of $10 a day for the next two weeks that way you qualify for the drawing and apply for the Super Bonus Tier by sending an additional $60.  Then wait another 5 weeks and see if you won.

The proper way to get away with touching a stripper inside a strip club is...

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Touch her with a stick. Then you could say you didn't technically touch her.

The proper way to win a karaoke contest is...

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Sing as loud as possible, that way when you're loud everyone, karaoke machine included, will think you're good.

The proper way to get that one game you want to be printed physical by Limited Run Games but probably doesn't have a chance of happening any time in the foreseeable future is...

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To purchase the game digitally and then illegally burn it into a disk.

The proper way to patiently wait for a game to download is...

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Don't think. Don't feel. Just aim, and shoot.

The proper way to talk about TMI subjects is...

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Wear a bunch of black, wear tons of makeup, have a simple amount of jewelry and have a stingy attitude towards everyone you come across.  If you're trying to become a Nun, just turn that cross pendant upside down.

The proper way to fix an old game release that has been released on Steam is...

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