I'm going to a dance.

[Christianguy7]

So guys. I need adbice. I'm going to a dance in 2 weeks, and well I suprisingly got this girl to go with me. We've known eachother since we were 5, and she's really pretty and I kinda like her. So I was looking for some tips, because I get very nervous, and my mind goes blank in situations like this.

[MegaUltraHip]

just remember be nice, give her compliments but dont over do it and be courteous, do things like open the car door, offer her punch and she will really appreciate it!

Edited April 30, 2016 by MegaUltraHip

[Rezzy]

How old are you? Is this your first dance? I could give some advice, but I may be old enough to be your mother, so my advise loses 50% coolness factor.

[Raven]

many people will need your age/age range to give the proper relevant advice

but generally being nice, and not being overbearing or overprotective of your date, is good. if she goes off dancing with other people now and again, don't take it to heart. it's how these things go. same with you, feel free to offer others a dance too.

[Rezzy]

So guys. I need adbice. I'm going to a dance in 2 weeks, and well I suprisingly got this girl to go with me. We've known eachother since we were 5, and she's really pretty and I kinda like her. So I was looking for some tips, because I get very nervous, and my mind goes blank in situations like this.

Have you dated this girl before? Have you been friends or just classmates?

just remember be nice, give her compliments but dont over do it and be courteous, do things like open the car door, offer her punch and she will really appreciate it!

True, good general advice. Although, every woman is different and the level of chivalry expected varies quite a bit.

How old are you? Is this your first dance? I could give some advice, but I may be old enough to be your mother, so my advise loses 50% coolness factor.

many people will need your age/age range to give the proper relevant advice

but generally being nice, and not being overbearing or overprotective of your date, is good. if she goes off dancing with other people now and again, don't take it to heart. it's how these things go. same with you, feel free to offer others a dance too.

To repeat myself. A lot of this advice is highly age dependent. Is this Elementary, Middle, or High School?

[Christianguy7]

It's highscool. It's the senior prom.

[Rezzy]

It's highscool. It's the senior prom.

Okay, so you're about 18, then?

Kinda going back to an old question, are you dating or just two friends going together? You're at the age now where sex is something that has to be considered. Regardless, as long as it's a possibility, take a condom with you. Pregnancy is real game changer, and you have to be cognizant of the fact you could create a baby any time you have sex. If you don't have a condom, stop at oral, anal, or fingering.

Don't feel pressured to have sex either from your date or in general, and there's no shame in being a virgin, either. I went through my senior prom with my virginity intact, and I know it's different being a guy, but that's my two cents in that regard.

Sorry if that borders on TMI, but the above is the most important thing I think people should know. Having a bad Prom night is temporary, but losing your virginity and regretting it, or even getting pregnant as a teenager are forever.

If you're doing a date before hand, it's chivalrous to pick up the check, but going Dutch is okay, just establish what you're doing beforehand. If you're driving your own car, make sure you clean it up and don't have trash around.

Watch your drink. Assume someone put something in it, if you left it unattended.

Sleep in before the dance, if you can. Prom and After Prom tends to go pretty late, and you want to be well rested.

It sounds like you've known each other for a while, so as they say "be yourself".

Well, that's all Aunt Rezzy can think of right now. Others may think of other pointers.

My Senior Prom was 11 years ago, boy do I feel old.

Edited May 1, 2016 by Rezzy

[Christianguy7]

Oh gosh I wouldnt even think of sex. See I'm a Christian, and I beleuve that sex before marriage is wiring, and so does she. We're going as friends, but I'm hoping that we could end up more than friends.

[Tryhard]

Eh, there's a lot of Christians that have sex before marriage. If you both agree that's not what you want to do that's fine but repressing sexuality has never really been effective.

[Rezzy]

Oh gosh I wouldnt even think of sex. See I'm a Christian, and I beleuve that sex before marriage is wiring, and so does she. We're going as friends, but I'm hoping that we could end up more than friends.

That's a perfectly reasonable view, and I respect it.

As for general dating advice, I'm kind of an introvert and skipped junior prom since I didn't have a date, so most of my advice is cautionary on what not to do.

Eh, there's a lot of Christians that have sex before marriage. If you both agree that's not what you want to do that's fine but repressing sexuality has never really been effective.

That's may be, but it's his right to abstain if he wishes to. I went through high school were almost all of my friends lost their virginity, and was pressured to do so, but waited until later. It's a very personal decision and if you feel that due to your religion or personal beliefs it would be best to wait, it probably is.

Even when I did finally have sex for the first time, I felt I wasn't ready and regretted it. It was a difficult time in my life.

Edited May 1, 2016 by Rezzy

[Christianguy7]

Well then they aren't following Christianity very well. There is a lot of verses that talk about sex, but it never condoned sex before marriage, im fact it condemns any sex outside of martial sex. Plus I do very much want to treat this girl with the upmost respect, and make her feel special. Like a princess. And pressuring someone to do something like that wouldn't be making them feel that way. Now I do admit, I do have the feeling of any normal 18 year old guy, but I don't have to give into them.

[Tryhard]

I'm not trying to say that you have to. Just that it isn't the worst thing in the world to do so. Modern Christianity has moved to be far more accepting of it. It is your decision and good luck, anyway.

Edited May 1, 2016 by Tryhard

[Augestein]

Honestly, from what you've said, I think you're overthinking it. If you're already friends, and you know each other, you can't lose. Just be yourself. I know that sounds obvious, but really, you can't really muck this up. You know her so well ... Better than we do. Plus, she might find your inability to dance charming. People find the strangest things attractive.

[Christianguy7]

I'm not trying to say that you have to. Just that it isn't the worst thing in the world to do so. Modern Christianity has moved to be far more accepting of it. It is your decision and good luck, anyway.

It's always really came down to people following what the Bible says, or them disregarding what it says.

Honestly, from what you've said, I think you're overthinking it. If you're already friends, and you know each other, you can't lose. Just be yourself. I know that sounds obvious, but really, you can't really muck this up. You know her so well ... Better than we do. Plus, she might find your inability to dance charming. People find the strangest things attractive.

Yeah, I guess you're right. Yet I really do find her attractive and who knows. I can't dance. I mean we both love books, and are super nerdy. (She even likes Doctor Who.) she's actually really funny. Her mom really likes me. Her mom even said that she felt like I was her son. I don't think her dad likes me though.

[buttmuncher.ops]

i don't know why sex was brought up, even if it is prom. that's something that happens (or doesn't) with attraction. you can go to prom with someone you're attracted to, but don't feel pressured to think about sex the entire night just because it's prom

focus more on having fun

blank mind is completely alright in this situation, because there's no reason at all to overthink any of it. do what feels natural, stay loose and above all, make it her night. the key thing to remember is that prom is (most likely) more important to her than it is to you; so even if you "can't" dance, if she wants to dance, just dance (this goes without saying for anything else that night as well)

rezzy gives good specific examples on how to conduct yourself personally, so i would go back and write those down as notes

that being said, you still shouldn't feel any pressure about one single night because chances are you'll see her again after prom / high school anyway. so leave all that mental anxiousness behind because it will be just like any other time you hang out with her, just a bit more special and loads more fun

since you really like her, it goes without saying that you want to make her happy: so laugh, have a goodtime, and make a memory that she'll never forget

if you both leave prom smiling, that's all that matters

goodluck

Edited May 1, 2016 by buttmuncher.ops

[Rezzy]

i don't know why sex was brought up, even if it is prom. that's something that happens (or doesn't) with attraction. you can go to prom with someone you're attracted to, but don't feel pressured to think about sex the entire night just because it's prom

I just brought sex up, because it's something to be aware of and prepared for, depending on one's views. I don't pass judgment one way or another. Some are ready, some are not at that age. But he's an adult, so I just tried to give him the same advice I gave my friends and will give my kids once they're old enough.

I don't know how it is now, but when I went through High School over a decade ago, virgins were an endangered species. And girls can be big hypocrites, calling each other sluts behind each others backs, then going and doing the same thing the next week. Guys often feel pressured since being a virgin isn't manly. I knew a girl who had to miss a big chunk of high school from having a baby. I waited until after high school, and I think that was the best decision. There are exceptions, but I don't think most high schoolers have the mental maturity yet.

Edited May 1, 2016 by Rezzy

[Christianguy7]

See I know that sex is t really a big part of a relationship as everyone tries I say, and that it's more about caring for eachother. I was a porn addict for three years, and that really help me realize that it's not as big of a deal as people want romans it. The only weird thing I find about going to the dance with her is that she's actually older then me. Only by 8 months though.

[Rezzy]

See I know that sex is t really a big part of a relationship as everyone tries I say, and that it's more about caring for eachother. I was a porn addict for three years, and that really help me realize that it's not as big of a deal as people want romans it. The only weird thing I find about going to the dance with her is that she's actually older then me. Only by 8 months though.

8 months isn't too big of a difference. I'm the older one in my marriage, for all that's worth.

Other advice is your date will probably put a lot of work into her hair, dress, and make-up, so make sure to compliment her. Girls appreciate that kind of thing.

Also, making the move from friends to boyfriend-girlfriend can sometimes be awkward, so make a point not to act differently, just because you're on a date. Talk about your shared experiences so far, since you've grown up together. Being fellow Dr Who fans is a plus and gives you something to talk about. It's always nice when you have something to talk about and don't just sit there in awkward silence. So, in the end, just try to be responsible and have fun.

[eclipse]

I just brought sex up, because it's something to be aware of and prepared for, depending on one's views. I don't pass judgment one way or another. Some are ready, some are not at that age. But he's an adult, so I just tried to give him the same advice I gave my friends and will give my kids once their old enough.

I'm gonna agree with Mr. Blue Text here - the mention wasn't necessary, and by all the context clues, it probably wasn't going to happen. To whoever's reading this: please drop this line of discussion, TC made it clear that it's not for him.

If this topic turns into "bash the religion (or lack thereof) of your choice", I start handing out warnings (not directed at you, directed at whoever thinks it's appropriate to derail an otherwise nonreligious topic in such a manner).

---

Now, for the actual topic, here's some of the smaller things to consider:

- Unless she's the type that hates make-up or has some serious issues (you'd probably know about the latter by now), tell her how nice she looks when you first see her~!

- As for you. . .not sure how much prep you'll need beforehand (besides getting your clothes on, fixing your hair, and maybe getting the corsage. . .guys, feel free to pitch in here), but make sure to get a good night's sleep beforehand. If your shoes are really uncomfortable, swap 'em out until you can walk around without giving yourself a bunch of blisters.

- Dunno how you feel about prom pictures. If you and your date are taking them, please let the photographer know if he/she puts you in a pose that either of you aren't not comfortable with. I went with a male friend to my senior prom, and we didn't like our initial pose (which involved a lot of physical contact).

- If you have stuff like major food allergies, grab someone who works at the venue and ask questions about the food. You want this to be a memorable night in a good way, not "that one night where I ate something that looked good and my face swelled up like a balloon". Ditto if you have things like meds that need to be taken. It may be prom night, but it still counts as a night in your life.

- Dancing's probably gonna be mostly informal (everyone sorta dances on their own or sometimes with friends, nothing really slow), until the last few songs. For this part, if she wants to dance with her friends or something, don't freak out! Once the slow music starts, if she wants to start slow dancing immediately, go! Otherwise, ask her politely, and go with whatever she says. If she asks another guy to slow dance. . .that might be a problem.

[Rezzy]

Now, for the actual topic, here's some of the smaller things to consider:

- Unless she's the type that hates make-up or has some serious issues (you'd probably know about the latter by now), tell her how nice she looks when you first see her~!

- As for you. . .not sure how much prep you'll need beforehand (besides getting your clothes on, fixing your hair, and maybe getting the corsage. . .guys, feel free to pitch in here), but make sure to get a good night's sleep beforehand. If your shoes are really uncomfortable, swap 'em out until you can walk around without giving yourself a bunch of blisters.

- Dunno how you feel about prom pictures. If you and your date are taking them, please let the photographer know if he/she puts you in a pose that either of you aren't not comfortable with. I went with a male friend to my senior prom, and we didn't like our initial pose (which involved a lot of physical contact).

- If you have stuff like major food allergies, grab someone who works at the venue and ask questions about the food. You want this to be a memorable night in a good way, not "that one night where I ate something that looked good and my face swelled up like a balloon". Ditto if you have things like meds that need to be taken. It may be prom night, but it still counts as a night in your life.

- Dancing's probably gonna be mostly informal (everyone sorta dances on their own or sometimes with friends, nothing really slow), until the last few songs. For this part, if she wants to dance with her friends or something, don't freak out! Once the slow music starts, if she wants to start slow dancing immediately, go! Otherwise, ask her politely, and go with whatever she says. If she asks another guy to slow dance. . .that might be a problem.

I completely forgot about shoes, but yeah, make sure they're comfortable. You can pick up some over the counter insoles to stick in there, as well, since most dress shoes are pretty uncomfortable. Girls often just take their shoes off when it comes time to dance, but I don't see many guys do that.

If you haven't already, get/order your tux now. I don't know how long it takes for a tux, but the process of getting a dress can take quite a while. Also, make sure it fits well once you get it, in case you need to make alterations.

To go along with food, don't eat anything too exotic that might make your stomach upset or make you need to spend more time in the bathroom than you might like. That's always a good rule for dates in general.

[Christianguy7]

I completely forgot about shoes, but yeah, make sure they're comfortable. You can pick up some over the counter insoles to stick in there, as well, since most dress shoes are pretty uncomfortable. Girls often just take their shoes off when it comes time to dance, but I don't see many guys do that.

If you haven't already, get/order your tux now. I don't know how long it takes for a tux, but the process of getting a dress can take quite a while. Also, make sure it fits well once you get it, in case you need to make alterations.

To go along with food, don't eat anything too exotic that might make your stomach upset or make you need to spend more time in the bathroom than you might like. That's always a good rule for dates in general.

She's axtually borrowing a dress from a friend, that has like 3 prom dresses. I already have a suit. The only thing I dontbhave is a green or blue tie. I'm not sure which one she's borrowing yet. I don't have any food allergies. (Hallelujah) neither does she, so I don't think that will be a problem. I was actually going to go check out the ties and dress shoes, along with maybe ordering the corsage tommorow.

[buttmuncher.ops]

i could chime in with specific fashion advice, but a woman will hint if she likes a particular thing about the way you dress, groom etc. and it's just a little different for everyone you meet. if you really want to go all out, take james bond as a base, and add / subtract as needed from anytime you remember her commenting that she liked something you did (or any comment on men's fashion really)

wear each tie option with the shirt in front of a mirror to see which one you and your mother agree on, but still wear the one you think looks the best. the only specific advice i will give here is to only look at slim / skinny / medium ties; stay away from fat ties and fat knots. make sure your pocket square matches your tie, although it's likely you won't keep the jacket on all night

keep it simple, but elegant whenever it comes to tie, belt, watch & shoes

p.s. practice putting on the corsage beforehand until you have it down smooth

Edited May 2, 2016 by buttmuncher.ops

[Rezzy]

i could chime in with specific fashion advice, but a woman will hint if she likes a particular thing about the way you dress, groom etc. and it's just a little different for everyone you meet. if you really want to go all out, take james bond as a base, and add / subtract as needed from anytime you remember her commenting that she liked something you did (or any comment on men's fashion really)

wear each tie option with the shirt in front of a mirror to see which one you and your mother agree on, but still wear the one you think looks the best. the only specific advice i will give here is to only look at slim / skinny / medium ties; stay away from fat ties and fat knots. make sure your pocket square matches your tie, although it's likely you won't keep the jacket on all night

keep it simple, but elegant whenever it comes to tie, belt, watch & shoes

p.s. practice putting on the corsage beforehand until you have it down smooth

It sounds like you already are, but make sure your tie and stuff match your date's dress.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Rezzy

[EricaofRenais]

Don't put a whole bottle of cologne/after shave on because it is really hard to be around someone that is wearing to much, at my college there were guys that I could smell coming down the hall when I was at the other end and it was not pleasant. If you are taking her in your car get it detailed and washed before you pick her up, trust me if you pick her up in a clean car it will make a good impression.

[Christianguy7]

Well I've gotten my shirt, tie, and suspenders. Now I'm going to go tommorow and get the corsage ordered. She gets home Friday. (she is in college currently. I should be there myself, but I didn't try for about two years and paid the price of beingr a five year high school student.) were going to talk about getting pictures and the other stuff then. Maybe she might want to go do it over coffee. I know of a great place in town but not really sure of how to invite her to that.