screenshot Matthewtheman Plays GhebSaga(Yes, GhebFE has a sequel)

[BluBlaDe]

Batta the beast sure knows how to talk to ladies. Indeed Tana is very hot but the same can be said of pretty much every FE girls from every games minus a couple exceptions.

I think I know why Novala is so depressed. Back in Vanilla fe8 he was the shit, having his own army of monsters and traumatizing little kids for fun. Now that he's with the likes of Gheb and Batta he just knows deep down he wasn't that special.

[Katie]

All right, let's get right on into the conclusion. I can't afford to waste time, so here's...

Test 6 conclusion: Batta's evil twin?

MFV: You have defeated the enemy and offered cake

This was by far the hardest chapter so far. Surprisingly, Novie was nowhere near the liability I expected him to be, but that was primarily because all the enemies had heavy weapons, so their AS was tanked. I also kept him on mountains, which made his avoid skyrocket.

Why, what did yoruself do?

Is there another CG after this? I don't remember, tbh.

MFV: ENJOY!

That was not fun. It was frustrating and unfun. Fake Difficulty is not fun.

Tana, you got sleeped on the second turn. You barely got to do anything.

Tanapedia? Did she make a wiki about herself?

Oh, it's her Pegasus's name. Except it's not. Everyone knows Tana's Pegasus is called Achaeus. I totally remembered that on my own and didn't look it up on FEWiki real quick or anything like that.

Tana: Yes!

Honestly, I'd rather Tana have promoted into an FE4/13 style Falcon Knight, so she could have staff AND flier utility.

I believe Novala's gimmick is that he's wangsty.

Not really. Nothing in this hack is very funny. The humor is very dry. Also, I caught Tana in her blink frame here.

Novie: Ugh...

Tana: Look, we have to keep moving now!

And Tana runs off. I hate it when people use emo in this context, because it's such an ill-defined term when applied to a person, and honestly, emo is technically a music genre, not a personality trait or a character type. And no, Linkin Park is not an emo band, despite what many people seem to think. Their work covers a wide range of genres, but emo isn't one of them.

The companion cube. I'm 100% certain of it.

He steps forward a bit here.

Let me guess, he doesn't like it because there's hearts on it.

Novie: ... I'll take it

What kind of "take care" are we talking here?

As if you even have Luna. It'd make you a lot more useful. I'd like to point out that he runs off right after saying this, and it isn't a text skip. The line just hangs there until you press A to advance the text.

Meanwhile, we have our obligatory villain scene.

I thought his name was Ataab?

I don't even know what's being tested or why.

MFV: Oh, that's right.

I suppose Ataab was a typo then, because this is the second time she's said Aatab, as opposed to the on time she said Ataab, which was in his introductory scene, which is honestly the worst time to misspell a character's name.

I swear to God, if Aatab's stats are all capped and he wields a stat boosting weapon...

His twin brother? Really? That sounds like the plot of a bad fanfiction.

I could always make someone else fight you, you know.

Thankfully, we got yet another short conclusion.

Next time, stuff happens, I guess! We'll find out!

[Azure Sen]

All right, I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaay behind schedule. Yesterday, I discovered Jim Sterling, and ended up binge watching his videos, and I'm still not done, just taking a break to focus on the LP. I suppose discovered isn't the right word, as I've heard of him before, but this is the first time I've ever watched any of his videos, and I quickly became addicted.

Welcome to the fold, fellow Jim Sterling fan!

Aww, I hoped Natalie would have caused a game over. And at least DDOP's programming errors made it funny. There hasn't been a single funny moment in this entire hack so far.

Wouldn't Bizzaro Batta's sdrawkcab name be Attab, anyway?

This whole game reads like bad fanfic so far, and not even the funny kind of bad fanfic like My Immortal or Light and Dark: The Adventures of Dark Yagami. (And hopefully this game won't involve anyone propositioning an incestuous foursome like the latter did, though honestly I wouldn't put it past Aitos to have that happen just because.)

Edited June 18, 2016 by AzureSen

[Katie]

Let's get right on into the next chapter...

Test 7 prelude: Fuck the patriarchy

Zombie man? I thought "emo" was his gimmick.

This is so wrong. Tana can't even fight, and Novala is only usable if the foe is wielding a weapon so heavy it murders their AS.

Batta: Anyway, all these people that come and make

"Are", not "is". They are getting on your nerves, not they is getting on your nerves.

Good point, I don't think it was ever really explained all that well.

Shouldn't beast be capitalized here?

Batta: This place...

Wait, are we gonna face Aatab already? I thought he was Lundgren's replacement.

Do we get a Nomad this chapter?

Sodomizer is pretty fucking great.

I've run out of things to say about this hideous background, but I want you guys to never forget it. Just look at it. It's horrible.

Looks an awful lot like the town from Test 2 though.

Sorry Batta, but I don't think we get a Hammerne this early.

I don't think sharpening it would help then, Batta. You just need a rag or something to clean it off.

We don't have time for rest. I must have Test 8 up before Sunday.

Batta: ...

What, are women not allowed outside their houses? Don't be a sexist jerk, Batta.

What the actual fuck, Batta? If you weren't the Lord, I would get you killed for saying this. Sexism and glorifying abuse is not cool. Who says all these women even have husbands? Some of them could be single, or even gay for all you know. I'll tell you what I told MFV: Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

At least I can count on Glen to consistently not be a douchebag.

So? Use that to motivate yourself into trying to make it less cruel, don't use as an excuse for condoning domestic violence. Be part of the solution, not the problem.

Batta: Right now,

Why? I thought they were just resting?

Oh hey Cormag. I don't think you've been in a cutscene in a while.

Batta, you are literally the worst person in this game right now. We haven't met Gheb yet, and at least MFV isn't sexist, she's just annoying.

I wonder who replaces Rath?

Batta: I knew it. I guess you don't have to

It's psychic, Batta, not medium! Mediums talk to the dead, they don't predict the future or read minds!

I hate you, you sexist fuckwad.

If only it worked that way.

Batta: Let's just go...

There's the Matthew replacement. They're clearly still a Thief, but who could they be?

Holy fuck Batta, not only do you condone it, you have a reputation for it?

Vagoos? Wait, why do they need to hide their vaginas, anyway? Are they walking around naked or something? Is this a normal thing the girls in this town do?

Who could this mysterious offscreen voice be?

Girl: Yes, that's his way

I guess the voice isn't Batta, and I guess Batta isn't the wife beater. Maybe Batta will learn a valuable lesson on why domestic abuse is bad?

This makes no economical sense.

Since when does beating people up help you pay for government expenses, you know, what taxes are (meant to be) used for? Unless he beats them up for their tax money?

Batta: Eh...

Are you trying to make us hate him, Aitos?

That's what Glen said.

Oh hey Natalie.

Is Natalie gonna give Batta what's coming to him?

Batta: Huh?

Swords do beat axes. (Her knife is considered a sword btw)

Oh hey, it's the generic bucktoothed bandit! I liked the FE6 variant better, it was so derpy looking.

Aatab's a dictator?

I guess Aatab's no better than his twin. This makes no fucking sense, btw. Taxes aren't something evil governments collect just to make the people miserable. Taxes are how the government pays for its expenses so it can actually, you know, fucking function. Wife beating does not work as a form of tax payment, because the government needs to either be paid in actual money or something worth money. Wife beating has no monetary value, and can't be used as payment. The government isn't just gonna be like "Okay, we need to beat 16 wives in order to pay for this new bridge." or anything like that. That's fucking stupid. And why would any woman in this territory get married in the first place if wife beating is how they collect taxes? If I were one of them, I'd either not get married, or get a fucking divorce if I had already been married before the law was implemented.

It is not even a viable form of taxing. This government must be fucking broke.

You know what Batta? I take back what I said. Apparently MFV is sexist, and therefore the worst character, because she's both sexist and annoying. It's a bit weird for her to be sexist against her own gender, but not unheard of.

Shouldn't the "good" guys be the ones relaying morals? You're the villain, remember?

Is MFV realizing how stupid what she just said is?

Children shouldn't have wives in the first place!

That is NOT the reason domestic abuse is bad!

Oh hey, I guess Echidna is Rath's replacement? That's cool, she was honestly my favorite Hero in the GBA series, and that's counting units that promote into Hero. I guess Aitos finally learned how to insert FE6 characters then? I know he apparently couldn't or something like that back when GhebFE was being made, and that's why, for example, Anna got recruited in Glass's route instead of Fir, who was originally intended to be the Marisa of Glass's route. I'm assuming they didn't have FEditor or something back then, because extracting portraits and inserting them into other GBA FEs is incredibly easy using FEditor.

I guess this CG will also go unexplained?

MFV: for this test,

There's more than one?

Are you implying Rath beats Lyn? Is there any FE7 character who won't be ruined in this hack?

Yep, that's definitely what she's implying. At least this CG isn't unexplained. And I suppose it's good that Aitos also agrees Rath/Lyn is Lyn's best pairing. Besides Lyn/Florina, of course.

MFV: To reach him, you'll need to collide

That explains the chapter title. It's just a fancy way of referring to switches.

This is honestly one of the easier Lyn mode chapters, and hopefully it's stayed that way.

Use of the wrong "hear" aside, Echidna seems to be pretty in character so far. In FE6, she was the leader of a rebellion against the corrupt Etrurians who were oppressing the people of the Western Isles, so it makes perfect sense for her to be fighting against the oppressive, wife-beating government here. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Aitos's use of Echidna here is actually rather brilliant.

For some reason, I gave Batta a surfer voice when I read this line, which made it amusing to me.

I don't think he was calling you one. It's just an expression.

I'm pretty sure Echidna isn't someone who would kill someone just for apparently getting her gender wrong, though I admittedly would love for Echidna to kill Batta and take over as Lord.

I guess he did mistake her for a woman. I don't see how, she looks pretty clearly female to me. She even has pretty dangly earrings!

Yeah, Batta, you're just an idiot.

You know, considering how in Greek mythology Echidna was a horrible monster and the mother of pretty much every major horrible monster in Greek mythology, I have to wonder what IS were thinking when they gave Echidna that name, since she nothing like the Echidna in Greek mythology, or the animal Echidna for that matter. But I suppose I should know better than to expect IS to make their mythological references meaningful rather than just being mythological references for the sake of being mythological references.

You know what, given Robin is a gender neutral name, naming her after Robin Hood would've been much more meaningful and thematic than naming her after a fucking snake monster, IS.

No she isn't. She wears a fucking skirt, albeit over loose pants. Just because she dressed conservatively does not mean she's dressed like a man.

No he didn't. He's typically depicted as dressing rather similarly to Link from The Legend of Zelda.

Batta: I don't know who the fuck

That's because it's yet another example of Aitos making a character reference real world things they shouldn't know about given they live in a fantasy setting in a poor attempt at being funny.

I hope not. Our team could use a pre-promote.

Echidna: Huh? Hell no. I'm just here to save these ladies.

But Batta, saving these ladies is the objective of this chapter.

Batta: And those wives too.

I took this screenshot expecting a text skip, but it wasn't one.

Yay, we get Echidna! Hopefully she's more of a Seth type pre-promote, with good bases and growths to ensure she never stops being useful.

Batta: What? Why the fuck?

This is very true. I'm getting a fucking pre-promote in fucking Lyn mode. I wonder if I could solo the rest of the mode with her?

Batta: ...

Batta, she would wipe the floor with you. Not only is she pre-promoted, she has access to swords, so she gets WTA too.

Echidna is so dumbfounded that Batta actually thinks he could kill her that she forgets to capitalize one of her sentences.

This is really weird. She starts to run off screen ahead of her text box, but stops, leaving her standing there while her text box lingers behind her, neither moving until you press the A button prompt.

The text box moves over to join her.

The thief who replaces Matthew runs into a village.

Old lady(text skip): Lalala.

Time to find out who Matthew's replacement is.

It's Ai-ke, the ever-squinting Ike knockoff from GhebFE, now in glorious monochrome!

Good point. His mouth, or face for that matter, never moves when he talks. It's rather uncanny.

Nope, he's just an unfunny Ike ripoff.

How did Aitos even get the blue triangle thing down there?

Ai-ke: ...

Old Lady: Wha-!

Dafuq?

Mind control? What the fuck?

Poop doesn't have time! I've almost hit the screenshot limit, and I still need to show off Echidna's stats!

Keep it brief please. Or I could just transcribe most of this scene, I suppose.

MFV: The wives here will help you. This is the first time

Nope. We had some last chapter, we just recruited them at the very beginning of the chapter.

MFV: Enjoy the company. They're NOT very useful though.

I only screenshotted this instead of transcribing it because I didn't want to have to type in red text.

I spot at least two errors in this sentence.

MFV: That's why they are SUPER. They can also save the world.

I don't see any NPCs on this map. I do see a female Mercenary though.

Or a master of unlocking.

Yep. Recruiting him is next update, though.

I guess that's how/why he mind controlled that lady.

MFV: They have all the goods things a THIEF has,

I guarantee you all he gets is some "new" weapon type.

MFV: WONDROUS! What psychic abilities they have is up to you to unlock.

Look at hat, the tutorial box is covering the dialogue box!

Yeah, yeah, just hurry. I want to be able to show off Echidna's stats in this update.

I guess she's back to spelling "weighted" wrong.

Why the fuck does she not have an axe rank? She fucking specializes in them! Her stats look really good though. Soloing with Echidna certainly seems feasible. She could certainly one round Batta, even if he had the Sodomizer equipped. Her affinity should be Ice, not Anima. Compared to her FE6 bases, she has 9 more HP, the same strength, 2 more skill, 5 more speed, 4 more luck, 2 more defense, 1 more resistance, and 1 more con. And Heroes have 7 move now, I guess. I'll definitely fix her lack of axes with Nightmare. Let's see her growths, even though her bases alone are good enough for her to be usable for at least most of the game.

ECHIDNA'S GROWTHS
HP 70(-5)

STR 40(+10)

SKL 40(+15)

SPD 50(+20)

LCK 30(+10)

DEF 25(+10)

RES 30(+15)

TOTAL 285(+75)

HOLY SHIT. While these growths may look bad compared to our other units', our other units aren't pre-promotes with amazing bases. Echidna has been majorly buffed from her FE6 version, with her only nerfs being losing axes and a slight HP growth nerf which her base more than makes up for anyway. I'm definitely using Echidna, as I love her as a character, and she's more broken than Ross.

Anyway, that's it for this update. See you guys soon with another update!

Next time, is Ai-ke Gangnam Style?

[Katie]

Welcome to the fold, fellow Jim Sterling fan!

Aww, I hoped Natalie would have caused a game over. And at least DDOP's programming errors made it funny. There hasn't been a single funny moment in this entire hack so far.

Well, we did have the funny programming error of me walking into my own mine and breaking the tutorial. But yeah, DDOP is definitely a more So Bad, It's Good kind of hack.

Wouldn't Bizzaro Batta's sdrawkcab name be Attab, anyway?

This whole game reads like bad fanfic so far, and not even the funny kind of bad fanfic like My Immortal or Light and Dark: The Adventures of Dark Yagami. (And hopefully this game won't involve anyone propositioning an incestuous foursome like the latter did, though honestly I wouldn't put it past Aitos to have that happen just because.)

GhebFE read like a bad trollfic, so I'm not shocked this one reads like a bad fanfic.

[Katie]

All right, let's do...

Test 7 gameplay: PSY Thief

I had to restart the chapter so Echidna's Axe rank could be acquired. I gave her a B, just like in FE6, btw. Anyway, I guess she's heavily affected by autolevel or something, because her stats were very different from the first time. I restarted the chapter again, because she had 2 less strength, which wasn't acceptable to me, so I reset again and got these stats, which are for the most part better, only losing 3 HP and 4 speed. While the loss of speed is disappointing, she should still be doubling all these losers, and she should cap it anyway, so I'm not too concerned.

I try sending Batta to the other village.

Here's Ai-ke.

In more ways than one!

Ai-ke: Really? I thought I went unnoticed throught[sic]

You probably weren't used by many players, especially since I doubt many GhebFE players got far enough to recruit you.

Batta: No, really. A guy who talks

I always thought his most notable trait was that he's a blatant Ike knockoff myself.

Batta: It's fucking creepy.

It's probably the new color scheme.

Ai-ke: Yes... portals can be good.

Batta: So, we can use your help.

I interpreted this as saying they could shit like the way he uses his psychic powers. Isn't English fun?

Ai-ke: Such coarse language... very well, I will help. This time I may

You'll be useful based on availability alone. Seriously, you'll probably be our only thief for a while. I wonder if you can steal weapons.

If your powers are new, why are they what Batta remembers about you?

I agree. I wanna see your stats.

It's like Aitos knew this hack would drive people insane.

Said "powers" are a weapon type, btw. And thieves can't use swords anymore, not until promoting to Assassin at least.

That's what I'll mainly use him for. He doesn't seem too good in combat, as you'll see when I show his bases and growths.

Y'know, MFV sure does a lot of speaking for the Companion Cube.

Isn't what?

That's a rather cynical way of putting it, though it's not necessarily wrong.

This is probably her cryptic way of saying "Thieves unlock things, n00b".

MFV: Or a hammer.

He won't be smashing anything with his poor strength.

His class name is Psy Thief. PSY Thief. I'm so gonna have fun making jokes about that. He also has a lockpick, btw. I wonder if I can get him Light magic rank through use of the PsychicBlade, which replaces the Emblem Bow btw, given it's considered Light Magic. I wonder what would happen if I tried to use him in an arena? Anyway, as you can see, his bases are terrible, but what about his growths?

AI-KE'S GROWTHS

HP 65

STR 15

SKL 40

SPD 60

LCK 70

DEF 25

RES 50

TOTAL 325

As you can see, Ai-ke is very much a mother father gentleman, and will never be good in combat. He's only useful for his utility. Anyway, back to gameplay.

This is what MFV says when I select someone other than Ai-ke. Does this mean Ai-ke will get Unlock staff access?

It's hard to take you seriously when you can't even spell "see" right.

OH GOD, WHAT IS WITH THAT FLOOR? I don't think it was that color in FE7.

Feel free to gripe about Christopher Columbus, I'm too lazy to do it myself.

You shouldn't even know what America is!

I don't think that's physically possible.

MFV: BUT, moving on...

Yep. It's pretty obvious to spot.

What's so odd about its shape? That it's a square instead of a circle.

Its, not it's. It's is used as a contraction for "it is", while its is the proper possessive form of the word it.

MFV: Now go press it!

Oh, and Ai-ke apparently has Canto, btw. And he uses the mounted aid system. I just noticed this.

I guess this is why female heroes have 7 move. So Echidna can reach that button? Okay, I guess. Male heroes do not have 7 move, btw, which further supports my theory.

MFV: You have successfully collided with the SUPERBUTTON

I wonder if Aitos changed the contents of the chest?

MFV: Rejoice. Finish this turn for the next part of the testing procedure.

This is a reference to a GameFAQs board meme, where this one user shiningpikablu252, would make topics stating that Gerik lacks the proper con to wield axes, and used it as an argument to promote him to ranger, which, despite being blatantly untrue(Gerik can wield all but the Brave and Devil axe without AS penalty), caught on among the GameFAQs trolls, who would spam topics about it and take ever opportunity they could to claim he lacks the proper con to wield axes.

Old guy: Leave me be...

What? NO!

Hopefully this man and his wife are just in a healthy S&M relationship, and that he doesn't beat her against her will.

We get a free Door Key, I guess.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Glen is so appalled he's speechless.

Gee, I don't know. I bet you letting Rath beat the shit out of her has nothing to do with it though.

This is why Cormag needs to gain speed.

Are you kidding me Cornmug? I let other dudes weaken this guy so you could kill him without getting doubled, and you decide to miss and get doubled anyway!

Why must Natalie suck so bad?

Aitos made a female Merc animation, btw.

MFV: !!

Maybe. What's in it?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

That'd be a rather lame gift. Why would I need Lunch Cakes when I have healers?

Well, he is a Thief.

Let's hope it's something useful.

Here's the obligatory line of dialogue for when I try to select someone else.

I select Ai-ke...

I try and move him somewhere else...

...and it looks like the chest contents are unchanged! I'm pretty relieved, I was afraid Aitos had changed it to Lunch Cakes. Ai-ke probably needs this the most out of my units right now, tbh.

It's better than cake.

I'd have been disappointed if it HAD been cake.

Yep, they give +7 HP, iirc.

Give them to your units with shit HP, duh.

Good question? What exactly does the act of "using" a statboosters mean for the unit using it? Given they tend to be things you can wear, I generally imagine them as putting the item on and wearing it, though I think with secret books they just read it. No idea for Speedwings though, maybe turn them into a headdress?

Does Portal go this far overboard with cake references? Because I'm sick of hearing about cake.

MFV: I just don't get it.

*groan*

In case you didn't believe me when I said he has canto.

*groans of increasing discomfort*

Glen misses against this Mercenary, but gets a level. He certainly needs the extra skill.

Cormag starts attempting to redeem himself. It may be too little, too late, however.

Bronze kills the female Merc and gets a great level.

Look how much Ai-ke sucks.

Look how much Echidna rocks.

Oh look, Tana and Ai-ke have a talk.

Tana: Hmm..?[sic] Why are you looking at me like that?

Nope. Ai-ke hasn't seen a lick of combat, and it's probably best I keep it that way.

Ai-ke: No...

You know what's sad? This scene was actually funny in the original game. Here it's just bland and lifeless. This hack, meant to be humorous, is actually LESS FUNNY than the original game.

Ross dodged this guy, and critted on his second attack. Ross is probably the best character after Echidna, who's only better due to her bases.

Oh shit, Novala's probably fucked.

The soldier even critted!

Novie: Yes...

Any emotional impact this quote might have had is ruined by the fact that he used the wrong kind of peace.

Normally, I'd let you guys decide who gets the Angelic Robe, but Ai-ke needs this if he wants to be able to take a hit.

Novala gets a surprisingly good level.

Aitos appears to have changed the armorslayer chest to a Horseslayer one.

MFV: This might just be the kind of weapon you need

You're right. I should give this to Bronze.

MFV: I wonder if that will be the case..[sic]

Aitos, rape is not inherently funny. In fact, it takes considerable comedic talent to make it funny at all, something you lack.

MFV: That which you got there is made to RAPE horseback units, for example. You might find others like that, and sometimes they may be your saving grace. But nothing can save you from me....

THE BOULDER gets a level from healing Ross.

And Tana gets one from healing Echidna.

Bronze is now one level away from capping speed.

And to end it off, as I've hit the screenshot limit, Ross presses the second switch.

Death Count: Batta 2, Bronze 1, Ross 1, Natalie 1, Novala 1,

Next time, will we beat Rath?

[Katie]

All right, let's finish this in...

Test 7 conclusion:

And Rath is standing on it.

Here's Rath, who should have dark affinity. Rath has his Lyn mode con. Compared to you average level 9 Rath, this one has 7 more HP, 2 more strength, 5 more skill, 5 more speed, 3 less luck, 1 more defense, and 1 less resistance. Ai-ke is in his Longbow range which is very bad. Note that he can be cheesed from 1 range.

Rath attacks Ai-ke, who gets doubled and killed. Guess I'll hold off on moving Ross onto the switch this time. Bronze's level doesn't change.

Ai-ke gives Bronze the Horseslayer to kill Rath with.

Batta crits the Short Bow Archer, and gets a very top half of the stat screen oriented level.

I'll have to weaken Rath with Echidna some more in order for Bronze to get the kill. Thank God I can cheese him from 1 range!

Bronze kills Rath and caps speed.

All right, that's it. The LP is over everybody. We've saved the world. The game is beaten. gg.

Whoops, never mind!

I bet it's full of dry and/or cringeworthy humor.

Whatever.

MFV: Congratulations!

I dunno, you tell me.

In case you forgot that Batta's a fucking moron.

Batta: It's not so secret anymore.

Echidna: You got that right.

I think I know what my next fanart will be. It'll be Batta, being beaten to a bloody pulp by all the women we've encountered so far.

Batta: You are good

She's supposed to specialize in axes.

Batta: You can come with us, but stay away

I can't fathom why anyone would want to be near you in the first place.

Echidna: Ahh, yes... I'll be glad to.

Batta: Good. Now let's go. I still haven't found out

These people hardly seemed "emo", Batta.

The scene takes a sudden turn for the ominous. The music even changes from "Triumph" to "Into the Shadow of Triumph".

Batta: What?

Echidna: This path leads to a training course.

Batta: I don't fucking care. We're more military than any fucker in a camo suit. Now, I said, let's go!

Why is she taking orders from him anyway? If I were Batta's crew, I'd have mutinied by now.

I really need to train Ai-ke, but it's so hard when his stats are SO BAD.

Batta: Hu?[sic]

Isn't he your twin?

You seem to be forgetting an apostrophe there, Ai-ke.

Batta: Well, are you gonna

He's your edgy and totally original twin brother.

Batta: Oh, for the love of-

I thought MFV was behind all this?

Batta: How do you-

Gee, that doesn't seem story breaking at all!

Batta: Right...

Not really, he's only good for Thief utility.

Ai-ke: I know.

I couldn't help but read this in George Takei's voice.

Huh? Nobody's died afaik.

Who is she talking to?

MFV: That's so lazy of you.

You know, I reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaally hope MFV is a Lyn Mode only thing.

MFV: It's reaching its crescendo, slowly but surely. And you know, they say it doesnt[sic] stop until the fat lady sings... I'm not fat,

Hey, we were just given our first indication as to what MFV looks like! She's apparently "not fat"!

Implying I've enjoyed anything about this hack.

The scene STILL isn't over?

Ai-ke: My power heightens...

You know, for an Ike knockoff, Ai-ke is pretty much nothing like Ike. And for someone with powerful Psychic abilities, you'd think he'd have better stats.

Ai-ke: What is he... I will find out. Heheh...

Is this the obligatory "new unit finds the companion cube" scene?

I'm 100% certain it is now.

Yep, definitely the CC scene.

Echidna: So square too. ... I like it. I'm gonna take it with me. Heheh. Maybe give it to Batta...

Does she have a crush on Batta or something? *vomits at the thought*

Echidna: Oh well. Let's go box.

And then we get a bunch of cash for unexplained reasons!

I did it! I have enough time to get part 8 up today! Since I get access to the battle preparations next chapter, I'm going to let you guys pick my units! Since we can bring 8 units and have to leave 4 behind, I'll let you guys vote on the four who get left behind. I'm leaning towards Natalie, Novala, Cormag, and Ai-ke myself.

Death Count: Batta 2, Bronze 1, Ross 1, Natalie 1, Novala 1, Ai-ke 1

Next time, we get a Bard!

Edited June 18, 2016 by Matthewtheman

[BluBlaDe]

Wife beating village? Hahahaha that's a good one. I hope we're going to get some good old child sacrifice village too a la FE4.

" I like incest, do you?" Wow I think that kinda explains why they need Rath to beat their wives, cut them some slack and suddenly they go around fucking their brothers or something!

Echidna loves Batta of course, he's a manly beast.

Psychic Thief is still better than that portal crossover.

Yeah leave Natalie, Novala, Cormag and Ai-ke behind.

[TheMoniker]

All done reading!

So, Jim Sterling makes you update slower? Don't tell him about Nostalgia Critic, my own recent addiction...

Hey, I dealt with 60-use Finisher weapons in GhebFE, which were the same thing as the Demi Lance! But then, those didn't start appearing on enemies until early lategame I think, not IN THE TUTORIAL CHAPTERS. Of course, you'll probably get your own Demi lances later, and considering how necessary the Finisher weapons were for my slaying of the later bosses... you might want to put that Brave Effect back at some point.

Happy to see you got a helpful prepromote, GhebFE's Calleach just was't enough!

Judging from what I've seen by the stats, the enemies have been buffed a lot! It's a pity, having the oppressed wives help you but having more enemies in the level would have made this actually interesting!

Batta endorsing wife beating... I don't even know what to say. It's almost actually funny, it's so ridiculous.

Good luck forcing your way through this idiocy! Trust me, I know from experience... you'll need it.

Edited June 18, 2016 by TheMoniker

[Katie]

Still reading through them right now, will edit soon...

So, Jim Sterling makes you update slower? Don't tell him about Nostalgia Critic, my own recent addiction...

Hey, I dealt with 60-use Finisher weapons in GhebFE, which were the same thing as the Demi Lance! But then, those didn't start appearing on enemies until early lategame I think, not IN THE TUTORIAL CHAPTERS. Of course, you'll probably get your own Demi lances later, and considering how necessary the Finisher weapons were for my slaying of the later bosses... you might want to put that Brave Effect back at some point.

I already put the Brave effect back. Hopefully, any time we encounter them in the future, it won't be in such a way where I can't avoid being attacked by one on the first turn. So long as you gang up on the Demi Lance users early on and take advantage of terrain bonuses, they shouldn't be that big of a threat. But putting the Brave effect on an eclipse weapon has to be the most trollish thing I've ever seen, as it means being attacked by one can kill you no matter what your defensive stats are, provided you're unlucky enough to get hit both times. I'm wondering when I'll get more bows for Denning though, as I'd love for him to play with some of the toys I've seen so far.

[Azure Sen]

...I can't decide if Echidna being in this hack is a good thing or not. On the one hand, she's one of my favorite FE characters. On the other hand, it's a hack written by Aitos, and the only female character to escape GhebFE relatively unscathed was Sonia, and even then it was only because canon Sonia is a monster so GhebFE Sonia looks better by comparison.

Also, what the hell, Aitos? I mean, I really shouldn't be surprised that Aitos made an entire chapter dedicated to how "funny" domestic abuse is because of how rape was a running "joke" in GhebFE, but this is more drawn out than any of the rape "jokes" in GhebFE.

*groans of increasing discomfort*

I think you mean *Garons of increasing discomfort.*

Y'know, MFV sure does a lot of speaking for the Companion Cube.

To quote GLaDOS from the first Portal: "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice." Screwing with people by pretending that the Weighted Companion Cube was speaking would be totally in-character for canon GLaDOS (and randomly promoting spousal abuse wouldn't, but that's a given), but the same isn't true NOtDOS here.

Ditch Mr. Monochrome, the Even Worse Thief, Dark and Gloomy, and Better in FE8, they're all worthless.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

the more i look into this the more i wonder if the dude lived in the middle east where rape and domestic abuse were common.

either that or 'the darker it is the funnier it is"

[Tamanoir]

This chapter in a nutshell...

[BluBlaDe]

I think the people in the FE universe, especially GhebFE are more worried about not getting straight out murdered by brigands and random psycho killers rather than rape and domestic abuse. Not saying they love it but it's better than getting killed to say the least.

[Katie]

I'm pretty sure Aitos is from Puerto Rico.

Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this update to Sir Paul McCartney, my favorite member of The Beatles(who are my favorite band), who turned 74 today. Happy birthday, Paul! The reason I wanted to get this update out today is because we happen to recruit a character named after Paul McCartney in this update, and I figured it be rather fitting to get it out on the man himself's birthday. So without further adieu, let's do...

Test 8 prelude: McCartney, the Spoony Bard

Batta: No, I do not manage to rest,

You seem to be forgetting a space there, Batta.

Batta: But we did meet up with a man that thinks it's a woman

Echidna is not a man that thinks it's a woman, she is an actual woman, and you're just a dumbass.

Now we took this weird path,

I'll never get over how ugly the NPC colors are.

Me, about this hack.

Hideous background is still hideous.

Here we have our new recruits, Tethys and McCartney. You may be wondering who McCartney is. It's very simple, you see. Remember that generic Bandit from chapter 5 of FE8 who had a portrait for some reason? There was a very commonly circulated rumor on gamefaqs that he was a Bard named McCartney(yes, that is indeed an unsubtle reference to the former Beatle) who you could recruit by following an incredibly convoluted series of steps, which are outlined here in this oft copy pasted block of text:

This trick focuses on recruiting the character known as McCartney. He is a hidden character with the class of Bard and well-rounded stats. Recruiting him requires a bit of luck and planning, though. First, there are two things that must be noted. First, the conversation between Seth and Eirika in the Prologue is random. The RNG determines if Seth and Eirika will have the glitched conversation. McCartney is a glitched character.
Therefore, do not try this if you have important save data on your game. In the Prologue, Seth and Eirika have a glitched conversation. However, it is really just bits and pieces from other dialogue future supports between Seth and Eirika. To activate this conversation, they must be standing in specific spaces in the top right hand of the screen above the bridge. Place one on the left and of the small area and the other to the right. It is recommended that Seth be on the left and Eirika on the right. Then, keep ending your turn until the glitched conversation occurs. Once they talk, finish the level. After this, progress as usual to Chapter Six, where you recruit Joshua. The bandit with the unique portrait that appears at the end of the second turn in the far bottom right is McCartney. Have Eirika talk to him, and after another glitched conversation including random text from later dialogue, he becomes a playable character.

It was of course a hoax, but since GhebFE is basically an amalgation of all the GameFAQs FE community fads of the time period in which it was made, Aitos obviously included him.

Tethys: We got it all for ourselves. Talk about convenience.

McCartney: Hmm...

No, I don't know. What are you on about?

I guess McCartney has a wife? I wonder if we'll ever get to meet her.

Tethys: I told my husband on

I guess Tethys has a husband? I wonder who it could be? My guess would be Gerik. Wait, is this implying that McCartney and Tethys are cheating on their spouses with each other? This hack just reads more and more like a bad fanfic every day.

Tethys: I... didn't think it'd be

How did that topic even come up in the first place?

McCartney(Text skip): Yeah...

I guess they're looking for us?

Or maybe they're looking for MFV's forces?

Batta's troops then arrive, I spot a benched unit and a semi-benched unit. Ai-ke is only semi-benched because he's needed for thief utility in chapters where thief utility is good to have.

This place brings back an infamous mechanic from GhebFE, that you will see soon.

What does the military test here anyway? I would assume nukes, but this is FE, so not even gunpowder has been invented yet, leaving nukes highly unlikely. Which military owns these grounds, for that matter?

To recruit Tethys and McCartney, of course!

Or that. That works too, I guess.

Seriously, Batta is such a fucking moron.

I spy a typo!

I think this hack has more grammar errors than GhebFE. It is incomplete though. I see a lot of wasted potential in this hack, tbh.

McCartney comes out of the house. He replaces Nils, of course.

Why does he cut off in the middle of the word "shit" here? It's not like he get's interrupted.

Batta of course recognizes McCartney, because how could you not recognize the most successful member of the most successful band in the world?

McCartney: Eh, yeah...

He also used to work for Michael Jackson. Fun fact: It was gringe(as in, the guy who made the excellent current FE6 translation which you should check out if you haven't already, especially you Moniker, as you really need to get around to playing through FE6 at some point) who suggested Michael Jackson be in GhebFE. No, seriously.

I'll try and get McCartney to level 7 in case I decide to do Hector mode. I'll make sure to keep a Batta mode save file towards the end around to continue into Hector mode from.

Batta: Come with us.

McCartney: Ah, uh... Yeah... I'll... bring my harmonica...

Suddenly, Tana!

Tana(text skip): McCartney!

I feel like "Huh?" is a sort of catch phrase for Batta, as he says it a whole fucking lot.

Tana in this hack honestly acts a lot more like the character she replaces than she does herself.

Tana: And, yeah! The Church of Gheb!

But he's a bard, not a priest!

You know, whenever The Beatles included a harmonica on one of their tracks, it was generally John that played it, just saying. (In case my avatar doesn't already give it away, I'm a huge Beatles fan, btw)

You forgot a comma Batta.

Batta: If you were more normal you'd probably have fucking

At the height of Beatlemania, The Beatles did have chicks hovering around them 24-7.

That's because women hate you because you're a sexist scumbag.

Case, point.

Batta: The women I like are like

*must resist urge to strangle Batta*

Nope. Not only is Batta a misogynist, he's also an idiot.

Aitos, when coming across any bugs or grammar errors in this hack.

Batta: We'll finally have

The Beatles do have some really fucking good music, especially many of the songs written by McCartney himself. Here's my personal favorite.

Uh oh, an enemy archer.

*facepalm*

Batta actually gives a normal and appropriate reaction here.

THE. CAKE. IS. A. LIE. I. DON'T. HAVE. TO. PLAY. PORTAL. TO. KNOW. THAT. MUCH.

This makes sense that he'd respond like this. As much as MFV likes to talk about cake, our units rarely, if ever, do.

Is it? In any case, Echidna's our only team member with Lunch Cakes right now.

He doesn't even know what it is!

Enemy Archer Assassin Dude: DIE! *he then charges at Batta as the screen goes black and sword clashing sound effects are heard*

Zuh again, eh? Haven't heard that one in a while.

Are they gonna do something with the Companion Cube.

It can do that?

Batta: ?!

He takes a step back here. I guess he's as confused as us.

Yet another example of a character saying a line then immediately running off-screen, leaving the dialogue box hanging. This line was technically a text skip, but it wasn't hard to screenshot it in time. I didn't even realize it was one until after I'd screenshotted it.

Ew, go away MFV.

I'm readyish, though I'll probably take a nap before I start working on the gameplay of this map, since I got no sleep last night. (Totally worth it tho)

*headdesk*

I don't. Nothing in this hack is real. It's a work of fiction.

Really, that'd be a nice change of pace. Though last chapter was pretty easy. I only lost twice due to poor positioning on my part. I suppose it didn't help that I had no idea what would be in a room until I opened the door, so there's was a bit of luck involved too.

That does seem easy. What's the catch?

MFV: That is such sin. You shall never be forgiven. Good luck!

Batta: Fucking shit!

I'd imagine that's what most people think when they here the MFV.

Yay!

I can finally bench my shit units!

Indeed, and I can't wait to use them!

These are not features of the prep screen.

There should be a question mark here.

Woohoo!

I'm gonna cut it here because I'm really fucking tired and need a nap.

Next time, I show off our new units!

Edited June 18, 2016 by Matthewtheman

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

so thats who the bard is named after.

[BluBlaDe]

ahahaha my sides this hack is great. Gotta love how they casually talk about domestic abuse, even McCartney isn't too thrilled about this shit. At first Batta the beast was just a boring wannabe dudebro but now he's established himself as a wife beater! Better caracterization then past Tellius FE games that's for sure.

.

Child neglect is in too!

Can't wait to see the next big thing.

[Azure Sen]

Was Batta this bad in GhebFE? I don't remember him being this awful, but then again I don't remember much about that steaming pile of fecal matter except how much I wanted Gheb to end up dead and how glad I was that particular meme is long gone.

The cake religion is stupid. The "cake is a lie" meme was dead pretty much everywhere but GameFAQs by the time Aitos started working on this hack, and honestly wasn't even that funny in the first place. There's a ton of other, much funnier stuff in the first Portal that could have been referenced here.

The..."best" part about NOtDOS is that, from the brief bit of MarkyJoe's videos I saw about this, we'll be stuck with her for the rest of the hack.

either that or 'the darker it is the funnier it is"

I mean, I can appreciate a good dose of dark humor every now and again (hell, that's why I like the Portal games), but ignoring everything else wrong with the "joke," having an offensive thing happen and then going "see, see, here's an offensive thing! Isn't that funny?" isn't funny by itself. A good comedian has any number of tools at their disposal to make situations funny, but because he's a hack Aitos doesn't use any of those. Instead he just presents things and expects the audience to laugh because they obviously share his elementary schoolboy sense of humor where dark and offensive = funny. If he had actually gone full-on over the top with it, that chapter might have been funny in a "why am I laughing at this I'm a terrible person" kind of way, but instead it's just the thing and nothing but.

Sorry I ended up ranting at you a bit, this kind of dumb immature anti-humor (and even calling it that is a stretch) just annoys me to no end.

[Katie]

so thats who the bard is named after.

I thought it was pretty obvious myself. Especially when any given GameFAQs topic about him is full of Beatles jokes.

Was Batta this bad in GhebFE? I don't remember him being this awful, but then again I don't remember much about that steaming pile of fecal matter except how much I wanted Gheb to end up dead and how glad I was that particular meme is long gone.

The cake religion is stupid. The "cake is a lie" meme was dead pretty much everywhere but GameFAQs by the time Aitos started working on this hack, and honestly wasn't even that funny in the first place. There's a ton of other, much funnier stuff in the first Portal that could have been referenced here.

The..."best" part about NOtDOS is that, from the brief bit of MarkyJoe's videos I saw about this, we'll be stuck with her for the rest of the hack.

I mean, I can appreciate a good dose of dark humor every now and again (hell, that's why I like the Portal games), but ignoring everything else wrong with the "joke," having an offensive thing happen and then going "see, see, here's an offensive thing! Isn't that funny?" isn't funny by itself. A good comedian has any number of tools at their disposal to make situations funny, but because he's a hack Aitos doesn't use any of those. Instead he just presents things and expects the audience to laugh because they obviously share his elementary schoolboy sense of humor where dark and offensive = funny. If he had actually gone full-on over the top with it, that chapter might have been funny in a "why am I laughing at this I'm a terrible person" kind of way, but instead it's just the thing and nothing but.

Sorry I ended up ranting at you a bit, this kind of dumb immature anti-humor (and even calling it that is a stretch) just annoys me to no end.

I don't remember Batta being this bad in GhebFE myself.

I definitely agree about the whole "cake is a lie" meme. Hell, even Valve was sick of it, and refused to reference it in Portal 2.

Sssh, don't spoil things for the viewers. At least spoiler tag it. But having watched all of Markyjoe's videos on this hack, I already knew about this, I was merely feigning ignorance.

I think you've perfectly summed up my views on this hack's "humor". These hacks actually could have been great black comedy hacks had they had someone actually skilled in black comedy writing them, rather than someone who relies on meme references(many of which are only memes among the GameFAQs FE community) and refuge in audacity in a desperate attempt to be "funny".

Don't worry, you're not the only one annoyed by it.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

the overall issue with memes is that 90% of memes become outdated within a few years, so relying on them is a crutch.

i remember this one youtuber used to use humor similar to this hack, not as in trying to offend people but saying dark/serious words out of context to sound funny, anything can be used for Humor, I laugh at #GatorKidsMeal that popped up after the Disney event just because its a clever way of making fun of a tragic event rather then what this hack would do "lol feed your kids to gators to be a good parent"

but you gotta actually have talent to make comedy about darker events, which the guy does lack, ironically i still find the hack hilarious because it trys so hard, but falls flat from trying so hard.

Edited June 19, 2016 by HF Makalov Fanboy Kai

[Katie]

but you gotta actually have talent to make comedy about darker events, which the guy does lack, ironically i still find the hack hilarious because it trys so hard, but falls flat from trying so hard.

I'm actually the same way. I'll admit I've laughed at several things in this hack, not because they were funny, but because they did such a hilariously pathetic job at trying to be. Another problem with the hack's humor is that a lot of humor can come from inflection, or the way in which something is said, but since this hack is text only it's a lot harder to make it funny. Some of these lines in the hack may have actually been funny had a voice delivered them in the right way. Trying to be funny while limited to text is something I struggle with myself. A lot of people I know irl consider me a pretty funny guy, but I probably don't come off nearly as funny online because you can't see any of my actions or hear the way I say anything. Doing video LPs could fix this, and I'd like to some day start doing them, but I don't currently have the equipment to do one(a good one anyway). I find FE is a series that lends itself better to screenshot LPs than video ones anyway, so even if I did have the equipment for a video LP I still would likely do this in screenshot format, though a video LP would allow me to give everyone funny voices, so it'd be a tough call. The best I can do is describe to you guys the voices I imagine the characters as having, such as how I imagine Glen as talking like Hulk Hogan, but I can't do that with everyone because many of them have voices in my headcanon that I can't really describe with words too well.

[Katie]

I've been going through Aitos's GhebSaga youtube videos, and I discovered why Aitos spelled Aatab as Aatab instead of Attab. According to Aitos, "IT's weird when you spell Attab. Aatab sounds more gentle and quirky." I honestly think Attab looks better, but either way it's a stupid name and Aatab is a stupid character.

[BluBlaDe]

Aatab isn't a stupid character, he's a true man of conviction and a model to us all, well minus the wife beating stuff and the cunning ressemblance to his twin brother.

Wait who are we supposed to cheer for in these hacks? Denning. Denning always has been the answer for everything in these hacks.

[Katie]

Aatab isn't a stupid character, he's a true man of conviction and a model to us all, well minus the wife beating stuff and the cunning ressemblance to his twin brother.

He's a lazy palette swap of Batta, is what he is.

[TheMoniker]

Wait who are we supposed to cheer for in these hacks? Denning. Denning always has been the answer for everything in these hacks.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Denning is the true hero. His one-line shtick is actually the best dialogue in the hack since it's impossible to screw up or for him to make bad dark humor jokes. With the power of the Finisher Bow (Demi Bow now?), he heroically took out boss after boss for us, even the nigh-impossible Michael Jackson and Gleb.

Truly, Denning is the greatest.