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Dating ages

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So I've got a question. What's the general rule on ages of people dating, is a 20 year old and 16 year old seen as okay? What about 21 and 17 and so on? Curious about opninons

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I guess it matters more where you're doing this(I'm assuming you're one of the parties mentioned or have direct contact with one of them) than anything else.

I think in the US you have up to 3 years difference if one party is at or above the age of 18, so the youngest combination of a minor and a legal adult would be 18 and 15.

Socially, idk; that's up to you I guess. As long as one party isn't taking advantage of the other, it's not my business to intervene.

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I think it partly depends on how old the parties are. If you're younger (say, 15 and 21, or 6 years difference), you'll get more strange looks than a 33 and 39 year old couple.

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I think it partly depends on how old the parties are. If you're younger (say, 15 and 21, or 6 years difference), you'll get more strange looks than a 33 and 39 year old couple.

Pretty much this. Basically the age range broadens when you enter college. It's pretty likely you'll be taking classes with people with all sorts of different ages and everyone is technically an adult by this point so no one really stares or questions much. That said, I think a maximum of a five year age gap sounds good enough to me and you could stretch it a bit but I think five should be the magic number in this scenario but that's just me.

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I think I remember hearing a rule of thumb along the lines of the youngest should be at least half the age of the oldest + 7 years.

Edited by Balcerzak

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The rule is half your age plus seven.

https://xkcd.com/314/

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=half-your-age-plus-seven

Take the age of the older person, divide by 2 and add 7.

EDIT: And the good Dr Balcerzak ninjas me with the exact same advice. Your first example would be outside of the range, if barely. The second would be okay.

(20/2)+7=17

(19/2)+7=16.5

Edited by Rezzy

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It's kind of a weirdly specific arbitrary rule. Does a 42 year old make a better partner to a 70 year old than a 14 year old to a 16 year old?

I dunno, it works out pretty well for the 70 year old!

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So I've got a question. What's the general rule on ages of people dating, is a 20 year old and 16 year old seen as okay? What about 21 and 17 and so on? Curious about opninons

I know where I live that's perfectly fine. Depends on the parents perspectives I guess.

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It's kind of a weirdly specific arbitrary rule. Does a 42 year old make a better partner to a 70 year old than a 14 year old to a 16 year old?

I think it's best at low ages like that. Although at the older extreme it applies more to acceptable trophy wife age.

My personal experience involves being a 20 year old dating a 17 year old. There are also statutory rape laws and the age of consent is different in every state/country.

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It's kind of a weirdly specific arbitrary rule. Does a 42 year old make a better partner to a 70 year old than a 14 year old to a 16 year old?

Maybe? The differences between the ages diminishes hugely as you get older.

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Maybe? The differences between the ages diminishes hugely as you get older.

True, 16 vs 14 is the difference between a high schooler and a middle schooler, whereas one you reach adulthood the life-experience age gap means less and less as you get older.

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In high school, hanging out with anyone who'd graduated high school was definitely noticeable; there's a huge difference, if only socially, at that age.

Recently, I've hung out with people anywhere between the ages of 24-45 and I've had no idea what ages they were until I saw their birthday notification on FB or it cropped up in conversation. Otherwise, because they were all at a similar stage of life, we had a lot in common.

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As was mentioned; the older you get, the less it matters. When you're younger, even fairly small age differences can be big since the level of maturity can greatly differ at that point. I was dating a guy only in his mid twenties when I was eighteen, and even though we really got along, we just weren't in the same "place". A whole world of things had just opened up to me whereas he already had a life all his own that he wanted to make me part of. When you and your partner are both past a certain age, issues like that are way less likely to occur. Of course what's seen as "normal" still depends on where you're at.

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If you're over 18 and finished with high school, you really don't want to start dating minors. It may be legal in your country, but let's face it, it's creepy, regardless of the circumstance.

Why would you be hanging out with people so young, anyway? What will you do when you want to go out but they have homework, or have to study for an exam? Not to mention that teenagers generally make for terrible dates, anyway. Working part time at the local EZ Food Store and driving a ten year old Hyundai is not the same as actual maturity. And if there's somebody so much younger than you that you really really like, then they're worth waiting for. Let them grow up a little before you inject yourself in their life.

As an adult, really anything is game with other adults. Your brains should already be developed enough to make decisions for yourself. But bear in mind that if the age difference is immediately noticeable, people will start making assumptions and asking questions.

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I guess it matters more where you're doing this(I'm assuming you're one of the parties mentioned or have direct contact with one of them) than anything else.

I think in the US you have up to 3 years difference if one party is at or above the age of 18, so the youngest combination of a minor and a legal adult would be 18 and 15.

Socially, idk; that's up to you I guess. As long as one party isn't taking advantage of the other, it's not my business to intervene.

I actually am one of the parties. Where I went to highschool at we didn't have a lot of people in the school, there were 30 some of us, and then middle and elementary was done in the same building. We had a total of 200 and some kids there. I met this really cute girl my junior year and really started to like her, didn't really register she was younger since all the grades sorta intermingled. But this June she'll be 16, and I'll be 20.

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I actually am one of the parties. Where I went to highschool at we didn't have a lot of people in the school, there were 30 some of us, and then middle and elementary was done in the same building. We had a total of 200 and some kids there. I met this really cute girl my junior year and really started to like her, didn't really register she was younger since all the grades sorta intermingled. But this June she'll be 16, and I'll be 20.

So, is she 15 right now, or will be 17 next year?

If you're almost 5 years apart, I'd say hold off for now.

I had a similar experience when I was 20 with a 16 year old, I waited until she was 17 to pursue a relationship. There's a huge difference between 3 and 5 years at that age, though. I'd say hold off until the magic half for age plus 7 rule applies. If it was meant to be, you can wait another few years.

To put it this way as a 20 year old you have a 1/3 life experience advantage over her as a 15 year old.

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So, is she 15 right now, or will be 17 next year?

If you're almost 5 years apart, I'd say hold off for now.

I had a similar experience when I was 20 with a 16 year old, I waited until she was 17 to pursue a relationship. There's a huge difference between 3 and 5 years at that age, though. I'd say hold off until the magic half for age plus 7 rule applies. If it was meant to be, you can wait another few years.

To put it this way as a 20 year old you have a 1/3 life experience advantage over her as a 15 year old.

We're actually 4 years apart.

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She was born 4 years and 7 days after me. When I turn 20 she'll be a week away from 16.

Honestly, I would wait until she turns at least 17. In my experience 4 years difference is too great a difference at that age. You're at too disparate experience levels. Maybe not what people want to hear at that age, but I speak from experience and would not anything but honest.

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The maturity gap is pretty big at that age. I'd wait until she's at least 18, due to statutory rape laws (no, I'm not saying you will, but what's to stop her parents from accusing you, if they disapprove?).

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The maturity gap is pretty big at that age. I'd wait until she's at least 18, due to statutory rape laws (no, I'm not saying you will, but what's to stop her parents from accusing you, if they disapprove?).

True, but I know it's 17 in several states, like Illinois. And I know Christianguy said he wanted to wait, but that age gap can create the appearance of unscrupulous behavior, even if no sex is going on.

And I don't know this girl, but some girls might go into the relationship expecting to lose their virginity to an older guy, since they might expect the older guy to be experienced or simply want to feel loved and being immature think that's how it works.

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Well she's a Christian like me, and she's had two boyfriends before. One asked her if he could date another girl at the same time, and then broke up with her when she wouldn't kiss him. The other guy seems to have something wrong with him. He dated he for two days broke up with her, the next day begged her to come back, and then two days later did the same thing. She took him back three times then stopped

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Well she's a Christian like me, and she's had two boyfriends before. One asked her if he could date another girl at the same time, and then broke up with her when she wouldn't kiss him. The other guy seems to have something wrong with him. He dated he for two days broke up with her, the next day begged her to come back, and then two days later did the same thing. She took him back three times then stopped

Often what's considered "dating" at that age is arbitrary, although I'd break up with a guy immediately, if he asked if he could date someone else at the same time. I don't know how serious the two day datespan was, but I had several "relationships" that only lasted a day or two in my teens.

If anything, the mercurial nature of teen romance is a good reason to wait for her to mature a little bit.

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She's actually pretty mature for her age. She's not one of those really wishybwashy kind of girls, and yeah she's a little immature in her actions, but other then that I didn't really notice anything immature about her. She's just as mature as the girls I was with in my senior year, (I was the only male in the class with them for four years. Except for a like a month when we had another man. He then left.)

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