NekoKnight Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) TC, I can't help but be a bit suspicious. If you're just "looking for opinions on the original subject matter" the whole time, then why did give all this info about a particular girl you've been thinking about dating? I mean, I think if you actually talk with someone who's against both pedophilia and ephebophilia and calls them both pedophilia, they'll be completely aware of the fact that an adult having sex with a 15 year old is not as bad as having a sex with a 10 year old, even if they still strongly object to the former. Typically, even if you talk to someone who'll "pull out their pitchfork" for a 15 year old, you can bet they'll be sharpening the headsman's axe for the person who abuses a child. I really don't see people usually thinking the way you characterize them as doing so. Your argument/assumption seems to be that anyone who uses the term "pedophile" must be unaware of the difference between sex with someone a couple years under the age of consent and someone 10 years under the age of consent. Just because someone calls a cold a "disease" doesn't mean they think it's as bad as AIDs, and just because someone calls a traffic fine a "penalty" or punishment doesn't mean they think it's as bad as life in prison, which is also a penalty. I'm not actually even trying to argue how big the gap is between ephebophilia and pedophilia - I'm just saying that, contrary to what you're saying, people in general are aware of the difference even if they wouldn't use the proper term. Simply because someone has gone through puberty doesn't mean they've fully matured. I think that our decision to mark a specific age as the "don't have sex before this" is a bit arbitrary to be specified on that particular year, sure. But, also, a basic standard for a halfway decent legal code is to have enforceable and understandable laws. At least if we say "over the age of 18 is OK," you typically don't have to psychological research on your partner to decide if they're capable of consent. There's actually an advantage to just drawing a simple and easy to understand line somewhere. I don't think people are literally unaware of the physical and mental differences between 10 and 15 year olds, just that they believe adults who are attracted to either group are same kind of people. It's like saying people who smoke marijuana are on the same level as heroin addicts and should be equally scorned. The issue is that people often conflate morality to what the law is, or what they think the law is (most people probably don't know or care that age 16+ is the age of consent for MOST of the USA as well as Canada). It just becomes dogmatic and people want to ruin other people's lives using generalizations and baseless assumptions. People will think you a predator for dating a 17 year old but 18 is totes legit, as if the difference of one year, or even one day makes someone transform from a larva into a butterfly. Plenty of post puberty (15-17) people are mature enough to have sex, and plenty of people older than that have a lot of growing up to do. How can such people even justify the double-standard that two 16 year olds are old enough to have sex but a 16 year old and a 20 year old is wrong? Indeed, we do need general rules in order to protect those who are vulnerable, but as people we need to take greater care in analyzing what is truly abuse and what is merely two people who love each other. The desire to protect children shouldn't be used to permanently brand people who may have no evil intentions at all. Edited September 12, 2016 by NekoKnight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 if you are over 18, DO NOT DATE SOMEONE UNDER 18. Its kinda freaking illegal in the US. Just like, dont do it. Even if yer like 18 and they are 17, its still a bad idea because of that age of consent thing. And you can and will get into hot water. As for me, i cant date anyone over 8 years younger than me, or about the same amount of time older than me. The gap gets noticeable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 if you are over 18, DO NOT DATE SOMEONE UNDER 18. Its kinda freaking illegal in the US. Just like, dont do it. Even if yer like 18 and they are 17, its still a bad idea because of that age of consent thing. And you can and will get into hot water. As for me, i cant date anyone over 8 years younger than me, or about the same amount of time older than me. The gap gets noticeable. In the USA, it depends on the state. The age of consent varies from 16-18. Not all dating necessarily has to involve sex, either. I didn't lose my virginity until college, but I dated before then. It's often avoiding the appearance of impropriety. But if you're both 17, you can't just dump your boyfriend/girlfriend because one of you turned 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 I dunno, it works out pretty well for the 70 year old! This is particularly funny as Shin is using a Joseph Joestar avatar, intentionally or not, lol. I think maturity matters more than a fixed age for dating. People should date when they recognize/feel they're mature enough to date. I arbitrarily think a person should only start dating from age 15+ because people are usually mature enough for this at that age (which doesn't mean they're completely mature. Not even adults are completely mature for dates. It's not necessary). Take this with a grain of salt though, since I can't find evidence to back up this claim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 This is particularly funny as Shin is using a Joseph Joestar avatar, intentionally or not, lol. I think maturity matters more than a fixed age for dating. People should date when they recognize/feel they're mature enough to date. I arbitrarily think a person should only start dating from age 15+ because people are usually mature enough for this at that age (which doesn't mean they're completely mature. Not even adults are completely mature for dates. It's not necessary). Take this with a grain of salt though, since I can't find evidence to back up this claim. 15 is a good age to start dating other people your age, but I've never met a 15 year old that has the same maturity level as a 30 year old. People should date people with the appropriate level of maturity for their age, and immature people shouldn't be dating anybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.