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Birthright and Conquest, Story and Character Complete Re-Vamp Project!


Nokorobi
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If your not a fan of long posts and stories scroll down to the Hey Listen! Thing to get a sense of what I mean when I say Re-vamp. It might be confusing at first but the story cleans up some of that.

I dive into this a bit deeper on the authors notes on the doc, if you want to hear more of my rambling check it out.

Hello there! So I've decided to embark on a little fun project that I wanted to do. As you may see the title what do you mean revamp? First let me say that I was not happy with the story nor its characters as there was no lore or background information to be given besides the small tid bits here and there. Nothing sufficient enough, I felt that the characters were husks and much more could have been done with that. As such when i "betrayed people" or I "killed off" someone, I never really felt anything for. It was just a feeling of not me caring at all about any of these characters. Especially when some of the chars die, you might know whom I talking about. What made me say "hey, that's not cool man" and feel bad for them? As such I think lore and background information is key! As well as battle and base conversations to slowly unravel even more about the characters instead of Effie stuffing her face or Keaton trying to find a bone hole. So, this is what the project I made intends to do. You'll see that some characters have new and enhanced backgrounds in their relationship to Corrin, and the world. But feel similar to the player in terms of speech and mannerisms.Locations and chapters from the game might be changed somewhat and situations happening at other places. Some of the main story plots will be changed some as well, but made so it can be more concrete with an actual resolvable reason. But it will be a new feeling and a new look at how awesome this game could have been!

For starters I can say that all characters will have a much more concrete background and have reasons for what they do, and yes! That includes Lilith remember her? the two lines in the game dragon right? I feel that characters needed a bump in order to make the game boom in my opinion. Things that make us the player have second thoughts about what we're about to do. They should have their own dreams and resolve and reasons for doing what they do. I want Azura to play more of a key role as she just tends to be on the sidelines, i want her to have more impact. Same goes for Corrin's siblings and those around him! I have plans for Shura and other people whom didn't get spotlight but actually were pretty relevant to the story.

As such when you make the ultimate choice, the characters on the other side should change drastically and show that anger that you've betrayed them! As such I plan to do battle conversations and boss conversations! I haven't done them quite yet as I'm finishing up the pre birthright chapters. I have written the background of the main characters and some of the support chars, sorry if your's isn't up yet I'm trying to find a balance of keeping them similar but relevant to the story. I say this because well, you see.. Arthur...

As for the game as a whole, I don't think the themes were substantially presented. When you think of conquest you think of conquering.. weird right? As such Corrin should be more seen as a dark figure who has lost his way going against his family. Essentially he is killing his own people so he should reflect that over time. As such i've planned for the dragon form to come into much bigger play in my re-vamp but that discussion is for another day.

If we take a look at birthright, we can see that they lived a pretty bright sky in their home. As such I thought of themes to reflect this and i came up with a Blinded by light sort of thing. IN which Corrin thinks the world is so bright like the home he grew up in and thinks he can apply that to everyone. As such I want Corrin int he birthright route to be more of a controlled person and as such maybe controlling his dragon powers a little cleaner unlike compared to conquest Corrin whom might have a little anger due to other things in the story.

So to stop your suffering here Is the link, its essentially a hub for all the work. Please NOTE that my story will be something like this in terms of order. 4 PRE-birthright story chapters(not finished) > pre-5 Conquest story chapters(Finished) > 1-2 lined chapters(Mikito's chapters)> CHOICE and then they stem off into separate games. so the choice will be around chapter 11. Its 13k words, for pre-conquest as they are the ones I finished and there is a prologue for pre-birthright as well.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t31AWtOyM28YnKb3IAFi9E4rgI_PhHUaukfhxdpquPM/edit

Hey Listen! :What If i don't want to read all this junk? Well, okay maybe it might be long but I feel its important to create lore and feeling with these characters. If it will interest you into reading it try reading the biographies first! They are basically small biography pages for characters and their beginnings on respective sides and will add more as the story goes on. You can find them here or continue onto the docs page. Sorry if your characters aren't here yet!! They'll be probably soon enough.

Conquest:https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BxL4sS-E7exGb3hIdGJjX0Z6NDA&usp=sharing

Birthright:https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0BxL4sS-E7exGUDNDbEc5VnI1WHc

DISCLAIMER: I am not focusing on a game play perspective as of yet, but I have included some battles just so I could get sense of break and such. Please ignore them okay!? It isn't like i'm trying to sell a new game here.

Grammar o Grammar oh my. There might be a few mistakes here and there so please bear with me. Also google docs tends to auto correct my Out's to Our's for whatever reason, so if you stumble upon them my apologies. I might change lines every now and then so if you spot me on a page yeah that's what i'm probably doing so some smaller things are subject to change.

If you have any questions or just want to talk to me about stuff lemme know!

Edited by Nokorobi
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I just wanna know why Corrin is male... I dunno it's just a pet peeve sense Nintendo tried really hard to make no real default gender for Corrin... Also the revamped character seems to have traits of a male character, and in all honesty is kinda boring... He seems kinda generic it doesn't seem like he has one main personality trait... So he... Is protective, unable to show his emotions, a lot like Takumi, and can get out of hand. It also goes into detail about Takumi breaking his shell, so he's shy too. Now this is only from the Birthright one, and I'm really only going for his personality but still, it's somewhat poor... I myself would make it so Corrin was close with his siblings because they shared personality traits. Female Corrin and Sakura both liking music, Hinoka and Male Corrin both wanting to train. But also, your trying to change the bad things about the old Corrin right? Well the biggest thing about the Corrin now is how indecisive and naive they were, those a pretty common flaws with main characters but at least they had flaws, all Birthright Corrin has is that he seems shy, but that doesn't work with other things.



Now I may not exactly be right about all this, and if I'm not please tell me! I have nothing against this, the other ones seems pretty good, I've only really skimmed. I can't wait to see where you go with this!


Edited by Ariblooperchao
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I just wanna know why Corrin is male... I dunno it's just a pet peeve sense Nintendo tried really hard to make no real default gender for Corrin... Also the revamped character seems to have traits of a male character, and in all honesty is kinda boring... He seems kinda generic it doesn't seem like he has one main personality trait... So he... Is protective, unable to show his emotions, a lot like Takumi, and can get out of hand. It also goes into detail about Takumi breaking his shell, so he's shy too. Now this is only from the Birthright one, and I'm really only going for his personality but still, it's somewhat poor... I myself would make it so Corrin was close with his siblings because they shared personality traits. Female Corrin and Sakura both liking music, Hinoka and Male Corrin both wanting to train. But also, your trying to change the bad things about the old Corrin right? Well the biggest thing about the Corrin now is how indecisive and naive they were, those a pretty common flaws with main characters but at least they had flaws, all Birthright Corrin has is that he seems shy, but that doesn't work with other things.

Now I may not exactly be right about all this, and if I'm not please tell me! I have nothing against this, the other ones seems pretty good, I've only really skimmed. I can't wait to see where you go with this!

Hello and thank you for responding, and yes i based this off of "Male Corrin" Truthfully it can work both ways in terms of personality. I tried to make it as ambiguous as possible. I just used a male Corrin as a starting point for me. Of course like the actual game some words and situations will get swapped a little bit, so i'm just working on it like this for now. I was pretty certain the character acted the same way as her male counterpart aside from support conversations and such(her being a bit dominant in conversations).I'm Focusing on the story and their actions/decisions. Their personalities didn't really change in the game..Unless that's what your asking me to do? It would be pretty neat to do down the line once I get around to it.

The reason I wanted Corrin to be similar to Takumi is down the line, when you pick Nohr I want him to really be passionate when his brother, someone who was like him and dear to him betrayed him. I want that to be a real centerpiece in his choosing of Nohr As such I made it so that these feelings these moments are there so it is more impactful to the player. When I said that Takumi breaks Corrin's shell is that after a certain time Corrin began to see that he was different form his family. (Of course he would see right? I mean look at his ears) Joking aside yeah, Takumi brings him back into the family by being there for him. "no matter what may be happening to you I will be there and at your side brother" Type of relationship, at least to Corrin that's how he views Takumi.

I wouldst say generic. You see if your born into a family that shows love and affection, you might be a little more humble or persevered (privileged in a sense). So you can afford to think of dreams, "Blinded by light". So hes not aware of the outside world from Hoshido's stand point. He doesn't get out of hand but tend's to makes poor decisions. In truth hes just a normal kid who has dreams but once he see's that he might not be a part of this family he loves it clouds over him. I wanted Ryoma to be someone to teach him and steer in the right way so they form a bond that way. (This is before he gets captured)

When he gets taken his personality changes since he has no recollection on anything besides his name. Therefore he forms his own way of thinking at that time which is more outgoing and sees some darker stuff. Since he is exposed to some different situations and is under more restriction his thoughts and personality changed to reflect that of his environment (After he gets captured)

Corrin without a doubt wont be indecisive, I know that's a big factor in why people might hate him. I tend to make his choices reflect that of the themes i wish to bring across. He will make choices, this game is about choices and as such I plan to include those, right or wrong.

Also what you read is Corrin when he is with his birthright family. The biographies are what they act like during that time(hes a little younger). When Corrin gets taken to Nohr, after he gets captured he doesn't have any memory of his past family. Essentially its the beginnings of everyone, and i plan to add more once they get older and back into the main games setting's. I couldn't write everything about how he views his family as this would be more of the time in the main story and support conversations as they go about.

The correct way of reading it in terms of chronology is the Birthright pre-chapters(Not Done) >Pre-Conquest chapters(Done)> 2 main line chapters(Mikito)(Not Done)> Choice

So the games haven't separated yet, this is just Corrin's past and the characters that are around him. If your still a little confused let me know and I'll try making it more clear.

Edited by Nokorobi
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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the insight! This looks really cool, and I didn't mean to be negative about it or come off rude! I really can't wait to see where this goes, and you seem to have a clear idea on what you want things to be, I think you should just try and show those things better in the bios!


~Good luck!~


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