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Saint Rubenio

I'm in over my head - A bad player's first Ironman Fire Emblem 12 run (and first let's play)!

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23:04 P.M., somewhere in the world. A random nerd's room.

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Man, it's so much fun playing Fire Emblem! I just love it, all of my units have been blessed by the RNG goddess.

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597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Look at that avatar. She even started as an archer! No wonder they gave her a 10/10 in that old Rate the Unit thread...

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597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png My army is invincible. Even Maris can't get killed. Huh. Maris. What's her new official name? Malice? Malicia? Marlacilis? Who knows, I sure don't.

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597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Oh man Palla died. I was foolish to place her there. Well, it's just my fourth playthrough.

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597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png That's better. Ogma isn't sitting on a flying creature, therefore he survives getting shot in the neck with an arrow.

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png ...this is so boring. Where did I go wrong? I was playing maniac like a boss! My stats weren't so good, Wrys hadn't capped anything yet. And Tiki died so easily, having to reload the turn was so annoying... but even with these huge handicaps, I still can't shake this feeling that this is too easy. How strange... what shall I do?

...

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597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png LET'S PLAY AS KAGA INTENDED US TO!

This is more or less how I got the idea to do this. That, and having recently watched Markyjoe's video on Fire Emblem's balancing.

So, out of tremendous boredom, I decided to do a LP in a foreign language, taking away the ability to reset which I'd never done before, and publish it for all the pros to gaze upon over the shoulder in disdain. I might not even be able to finish this (I'll try as hard as I can, though), as I begin college in around a month, but hey, I just wanted to try this let's playing schtick out. Please bear with me. Not that I expect this to become anything big, but eh, if I can manage to get a stable replier or two, I'll be happy.

The rules are as follows.

- Obviously, I won't be resetting. If I lose a unit, I'll have to press on and use a replacement. Hopefuly, I won't have to settle for using Matthis or Frost or anything like that. I'll also try to recruit everyone and get every gaiden. That would be sweet.

Units defeated in the prologue won't be considered dead for good, and I'll be free to use them in the main game. I think having to LTC Matthis should be enough of a punishment for leaving Wrys and Caeda in range of Jeorge and his archer buddy.

- The only exceptions to this rule will be Marth and MU (whom I have already created, by the way, so I'm afraid I won't do like the good Let's Players and let the viewers participate), as well as the unit who will take the Growth Drop. This is mostly because I don't trust my skills and, well, I'd like to have more than one "permanent" unit to help the seizebot sit on the throne. Now, don't worry, I won't give it to Palla or anything like that. It'll be an early game terribad unit. Place your bets. Once more, because I am a bad LPer, I already have someone in mind.

If any of these die, I will reset the chapter. If I lost any of the other units before resetting, I'll disarm them and kill them off as soon as possible. I won't be allowed to change anything in the prepscreen, either. If I have to reset five times because I forgot to give Marth the starsphere the first time, so be it.

As of the Bond Drop, the Rainbow Potion, and the lunatic statboosters, I won't be using them.

- I will use the reclassing feature. I'll try to have one of each class, though.

- I'll be playing on H1, again, because I don't trust my skills.

- And, just for the record, with this intro, I don't intend to insult people who use save states and the like. I use them a lot, it would be quite hypocritical of me to do such a thing. I just... figured it was an alright introduction to this thing.

- Lastly, I'd really appreciate if you guys behaved like grammar nazis and corrected my mistakes. Partly 'cause I'd dislike to have an ugly mess of a first (and probably last) LP, but improving my english will be of use in college. We could use this chance to turn Serenesforest into a Den of Education and Knowledge.

So, without further ado, let us... wait until tomorrow when I feel like typing down another part! And that's when the LP died.

Edited by Rubenio
First fail of the Let's play (actually second, we'll get to that), I placed the screenshots for Prologue I all over the OP. Good job, me.

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Honestly, your writing is pretty good, though it is considered favorable to use "all right" instead of "alright" in formal writing. I look forward to seeing your first update! :)

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11 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Honestly, your writing is pretty good, though it is considered favorable to use "all right" instead of "alright" in formal writing. I look forward to seeing your first update! :)

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.

Alright All right, now for real! Without further ado, let us begin this!

(one thing I perhaps should have said in the OP, I am going to assume you all know the story of this game, so I'll be pretty liberal with the spoilers. There, now you can't say I didn't warn you).

Part 1 - I suck at this game and at naming things.

Spoiler

 

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This will be our avatar. This is the reason behind the pretzels tag. Ain't it just a ton of fun?

...

I tried.

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Pretzel's going to be a red haired mage with a monologe. He's Etzel's long lost son, born just a few weeks prior to Dolhr's attack on Etzel's town, which resulted in Ursula's death and Pretzel's disappearance. In truth, an old warrior was able to save the baby and flee the town before the Dolhrian forces razed it to the ground. Believing Etzel to be dead, he then raised Pretzel until he passed away. As a retired knight, Pretzel's adoptive grandfather tried to teach him the art of war, but quickly came to realise that he was not cut for physical combat, but instead had an extraordinary talent for magic. So he sent the young mage to Khadein as he began to feel death closing in on him.

After Gharnef took over the city-state, Pretzel escaped and wandered aimlessly for some time. In his travels, he heard all sorts of tales about the hero king Marth and how he won battle after battle without losing one man, and grew to really admire him. And so, some time after the end of the war, Pretzel felt ready to become a knight of Altea and meet the legend in person, and perhaps find his father, whom he never believed to be dead.

There you go, that's the fanfic I made up in five minutes. Ain't it just a ton of fun?

...

I tried. Slightly more this time, too. Do I at least get a rolling Knoll? Pretty please?

Traits.png.e49f0be8f7b6dc18e83c61665ac94f96.png

These are Pretzel's traits. We never did know Ursula's occupation. She might be a farmer, for all we know.

What, valkyrie? Don't be silly, that one lives in Elibe, there's no way. Is there?

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Yeah, please, before I lose all the readers.

Prologue I

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I know what you're thinking, "that was the worst joke of a name I've ever seen", but look! Katarina likes it! She couldn't possibly be lying!Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__21620.png.f629bd53b67390e3e0455e6baa330998.png

Here are the christmas cavaliers of this game. I don't like Luke too much. These womanizer types never truly appealed to me, other than Saul for the irony of him being a priest of all things. Rody's Kent. And Lance. And Abel. And Kyle. I still like him for having green armor.

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Crap! Jagen's a red unit! He's a traitor! He's gonna chip all of us down to one health and feed the kills to his soldier pal!

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Oh maaaaan we'll be facing the reeeeeaaaaaaaal Altean knights. In mock combat.

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Also Katarina can't fight wink wink. I guess this means we, as players, take control of Katarina during the prologue...? And I guess Jagen during the main game. Honestly, I like Jagen's lines more than anything the Avatar has to say, so I'm fine with that. That's also why I never called the Avatar after me. I just like to consider them as another character. Who's really important for some reason. Besides, I already have a name-fellow in this game. See if you can guess who it is.

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And so, our quest begins! Pretzel's more gifted in magic than Yubello. That's about it. Mage MU was never very remarkable.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__21838.png.7abddb9a2805e0ca73073a607337eb0a.pngFire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__21946.png.637ed5397f83a5186c2667a3c1d7beba.png

The action in these first couple of chapters is pretty crap. Here, have a couple of shots of people getting torched to death incapacitation. Back to the story.

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Oh right, almost forgot our first level. Eh. Not that good but... sufficient.

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Eh... well you can technically expect much from Katarina but... not in a way you'd like, Jagen.

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The Marth comes in and Katarina apparently has never seen his face. Right.

And this is where I missed a line I wanted to screencap, so I just reset the game. But I forgot that, unlike the GBA fire emblems, this one doesn't automatically suspend when you shut down the game. So... I more or less failed the "resetless" challenge. Already.

Damnit IntSys, you added all those quality of life features like skipping turns and combat, and disarming units without trading all their stuff away, and you take away this?

And then I replayed, and replayed, and replayed again to try to get the same level up and--

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Oh dear... that's... that's really good... NO! I mustn't succumb to the temptation! I said I'd do this without resetting and that's what I'm doing! Sort of!

Eventually, I settled for just redoing the character and starting over. Which, at this stage, is exactly the same as resetting again, but eh, it's the intention that counts.

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This is the real first level. The exact same thing but with one HP. Close enough.

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I guess I will be using save states after all. Wouldn't want to miss the chance to make an awful joke.

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This is the line I missed. I like how I caught Jagen with his eyes closed. He's like "sigh... damn kid, why won't you just shut up and actually listen to the guy you're drooling over?". Totaly worth breaking the rules.

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And then Marth does this and Katarina and Pretzel say good things about him which I didn't quite catch.

Prologue II

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What a coincidence!

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What a coincidence, too! I didn't screencap Rody because, c'mon, when have the christmas cavaliers ever joined separatedly? Oscar and Kieran? Who are those?

Ryan's not very noteworthy as a character. He's more or less FE11 Gordin if he was allowed to talk.

Time to pick a commander, then--

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Luke, nobody's insist--

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Exactly!

And then we decide that, obviously, the best way to choose choose the commander is to beat the crap out of eachother and the one with the least broken bones will be it. Katarina doesn't count because she can't fight, nor heal.

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Bring it on, Luke. Pretzel'll burn those hair horns right off.

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Thus, we jump right into combat. Luke won't even wait for Rody. I mean, sure, you've got one more point in all the stats that matter but it's always nice to have the numerical advantage.

...then again this is Fire Emblem, so Luke has the right idea.

Also, wow were so gud. we praised by jaigan. i much beter.

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Together, Pretzel and Ryan beat, uh... the uh... future hero? Dunno, Luke, I like Frey better. Maybe if I lose him, and Cain, and Rody, and Belf and Leiden, and Cecil. Hey, don't be sad, I'd use you over Matthis and the Wolfguard.

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As of the level up, not too bad. But I'd like if you stopped getting "not too bad" levels and started to behave like a real self-insert Mary Sue with perfect levels every time. Think you can handle that, Pretzel?

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Then we set Rody ablaze as well. Nothing noteworthy happens here.

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I'm happy you didn't go "I'm still the best hurr durr but I'll let you be the commander". Kudos to you, Luke.

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Then he discusses with his friend why they lost. Rody's right, Luke. Haven't you heard the most iconic Fire Emblem song aside from the main theme? Y'know what it's called? Together we ride! You ride together if you want to win! Those support bonuses you're bound to have built during your years as friends would have given you the edge you needed to end the playthrough right here.

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As opposed to the Aurelian knights who'd rather fight with Wolf.

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The question is, does he get anything?

Or... are you wondering if he gets what you really...

Nah, Katarina wouldn't think so highly of Luke.

Prologue III

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Cain! You can tell he's older because he's looking down instead of up like in FE11 or whatever he was doing in FE1!

We'll have a contest in the form of combat. Is there really any other way?

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...oh god. Luke! Don't you dare join the enemy! Sheeda's betrothed. As Roger learnt a tad too late.

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There we go. This should be easy.

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We bait the enemies into attacking us, exchanging blows. Pretzel gets this level up that looks like it's really great, but then you look at it carefuly and realise he only has a real use for two, maybe three of those stats.

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And besides, it doesn't matter because I suck.

First reset. Amazing. Such resetless. Much ironman.

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Okay, new plan. And by the way, just in case you think I'm killing Pretzel off when I'm in danger of losing someone, I really am not. I know you've no reason to believe me, but seriously, I'm not trying to cheese my own rules, as you'll soon see.

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Cutting it close there, Rody...

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DAMNIT NO! I couldn't find a way to kill three people / get Rody to a safe place. So there goes our first unit. Bleh.

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God fucking damn it all to hell.

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Go and die Rody. I'd rather you didn't but I chose to do this and I'm sticking with it to the bitter end.

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Speaking of which...

This... this is going to end horribly, is it not? I'm more scared of losing units here than in the main game, actually. At least there I can reclass or use one of the other guys in the same class. But if I lose anyone else before chapter 1, I'll be forced to be efficient in chapter 3! And I hate chapter 3! And I'm bad at LTCing!

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All right, plan C. We do this nifty little formation. Rody's given his lance to Luke, worry not.

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Like so. He'll keep this fighter entertained for a couple turns. Well I did say I'd kill these dead people walking as soon as possible. If I simply throw him into Sheeda's range, I'll just lose again.

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Ryan, meanwhile, will be taking this guy's sword to the face until I can kill him. The leftmost fighter can't reach us, so things are looking fine for the moment.

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Pretzel gets a level that's the exact same as his first one, even if it looks different, and Luke finds a new fighting partner while avenging Rody's leg or something. He's almost the same. He also wears green armor. And he also wears green armor.

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Then he catches sight of Sheeda and forgets Rody and his advice entirely. I mean... you do you, friend, but she's the fiancee of the king. And he still has the Falchion at this point of the game. Do you really want to go there?

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Ryan saves Luke from embarrassing himself by giving Sheeda more important things to worry about, and gets a Ryan Level-up™ in the process. I don't know about you, but I'm not really feeling our earlygame scrubs thus far.

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My, my, we're such gud knights-in-the-making! We defy everybody's expectations! No, I don't know any Rody, why should I?

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You don't say! I thought we were going to call you to kick our asses some more.

Then again Luke might be into that sort of--

Okay, okay, I'll lay off Luke now. Jeez.

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Oh look! It's a chance to pretend to be one of those good, popular LPers and give the readers something to vote for! Pick the units I'll be getting in the prologue. The choices are Athena/JeorgeGordin, Draug/Ogma and Cain/Est. Don't vote for Est you assholes. Don't make me regret doing this more than I already am. Is the emotional blackmail working? Please do let me know.

And with that, I fare you all well. Until next time, when hopefully, I won't lose anybody else.

Although, I guess I could afford to... I mean losing early cash hurts but there's that hidden bullion in chapter 1 anyways, and... how hard can it really be to get 3x?

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...

I usually reach Julian around turn 30...

 

...I'll see you in the next part.

Edited by Rubenio
Spoilers look more professional.

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597d020db09a0_Barlowe-copia.png.9db95a07fdd9afeb7b506d64bbe79c76.png All right, time to check out my Let's Play! Boy, can't wait to read all the replies--

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597d020b4cd03_Barlowe-copia2.png.c525cda338b4dfec9221cd187fcef3bb.png ...

597d020c8df6f_Barlowe-copia3.png.6ab3e0be9970d7280f5a4c34f3985dff.png ...

597d020db09a0_Barlowe-copia.png.9db95a07fdd9afeb7b506d64bbe79c76.png Perfect! Now I can choose Athena and fight her instead of Jeorge who has 2 range and OHKOs Sheeda! And to top it off, I'll get a Jeigan instead of Ryan 1.02!

597d020db09a0_Barlowe-copia.png.9db95a07fdd9afeb7b506d64bbe79c76.png ...

597d020c8df6f_Barlowe-copia3.png.6ab3e0be9970d7280f5a4c34f3985dff.png ...I'd feel better if one of those guys who accidentally click on my thread said something, though. Even if it's just to shit on my Fire Emblem skills...

Part 2 - Dangit, Luke is becoming my best unit.

Spoiler

Prologue IV

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We open to Luke drooling over getting a sexy nurse right out of Pornhub on the team, more or less. This ain't no Advance Wars, Luke. Being at full health doesn't make you hit harder. It only makes you not die. Sometimes.

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Oh I know and I'm glad it's there 'cause this is like, literally, the best scene in the entire game.

Well maybe not, but it's close. Literally!

...Also I just noticed the face he's making. To be frank, it was just dumb luck, but it's so perfect I'm proud of myself anyways.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__3202.png.c9099b15db8842b59253f822cf1a9d74.pngFire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__3228.png.7f5726b56c7e67a3b5c4e7e73b51cca6.png

Ever thought of changing your name to Convenience, Katarina?

Oh, right, I forgot, Katarina isn't even your re--

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FUCKING HELL LUKE let me make my bad references to future events without going berserk over boobies! This game doesn't even have the berserk staff!

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Heheheheheheh... aahhh I love this scene. It's so amazing. So, so very amazing. IntSys more or less fully acknowledged Wrys' meme status here.

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Oh dear, another perfect blinking shot. Poor Luke. He's probably trying his best not to impale Wrys WITH HIS LANCE... AS IN, THE WEAPON... and then slit his own throat with his sword.

Then again Luke might be into that sort of--

No! No no no no please don't leave, you one watcher! I won't do that again, I promise.

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Boy, this just keeps getting better and better. You see this? Can you really blame me for doing those terrible jokes? They make it too easy.

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Then Cain introduces us to our foe of the day... who again, isn't an Altean soldier. Think about it, the only Altean soldier we've fought so far is Jagen. They probably heard of Pretzel's Mary Sue powers and decided to stay away.

Can't really blame Arran for not even showing up in the prologue, though. He probably has more important matters to attend to, like trying to keep his insides, well, inside. I'm serious, I actually really like Arran, both as a character and as a Jeigan.

Okay, so, now I could be a douchebag and mock her accent but that would be racism, and racism is bad. I won't fall so low!

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Eeeeeehhhh settle for the frying pan.

...well I didn't say anything about mysoginy, did I?

...

Oh crap I just remembered, one of the mods is a girl.

Fuck. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh hey Eclipse! I recall you like Tomas...? I do too! Check my profile, he's right there listed as one of my favs from FE12!

...don't move your mouse too close to the "ban user" button though... i-it would be a real shame if, say, an unfortunate accident were to happen... right?

...

Let's just move on.

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Not really, no, Jeorge is much more threatening. Now watch as I am proven wrong. Well not really 'cause Jeorge is still more threatening I'm just bad but...

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Okay, so this is our map of the day. If there had been anyone to vote for Jeorge you guys had voted for Jeorge, I wouldn't have won  there would have been a few changes in the layout. Most importantly, an axe user to destroy your tankiest units (who aren't very tanky to begin with) and two archers counting Jeorge. I believe Jeorge's version of the map to be harder, although the payoff is that if you play through Jeorge's version, you get a level 5 sniper at this stage of the game Gordin, who, unlike Athena, is still there at chapter 1. Still not worth it, having Ryan and all.

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Here's our formation. I failed to capture it before ending the turn, and then I failed to capture the level up Luke got after ruining my strategy by critting one of the soldiers. This is where I tried to materialise into the game to punch Luke in the face for making me LTC Matthis.

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But in the end, he was saved by the world's worst Myrmydon who did exactly enough damage to ORKO Luke, but lacked the speed to double. Thanks, Samto faceless generic. Your incompetence will be remembered.

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...or not, because this is looking really, really bad.

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Sheeda kills the Archer so as not to force me to LTC Matthis.

Man, I really am scared of LTCing Matthis. But, can you blame me? It's such a long map if you try to recruit the idiot. And even if you don't, you still have to waste a billion turns to recruit Julian to get the good ending. They thought of everything! The only way they could have made it even more can'tbearsedtodoeverything-proof is if they gave Matthis an undroppable Starshard.

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But enough about the future, let's focus on the task at hand. Yes, yes, Wrys is in danger there, but he won't get killed, and will only pull one of the two remaining enemies, ensuring nobody d--

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...

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I swear, when I was making Pretzel, this wasn't my intention. It wasn't the plan to make sure all the enemies would go for him first, increasing the chances of him dying before anyone else and in turn, decreasing the chances of me having to LTC Matthis.

I guess my terribad fanfic just turned out all right for me. That, and my obsession with training back units and making stuff unnecesarily more difficult for myself.

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Regardless, new strategy. This is why Athena's version is easier: at least on hard, this strategy is perfectly viable, while Jeorge would have made my life miserable if I tried this with him.

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This is the plan: Luke will keep the point chocked, Wrys will keep him alive, Sheeda will provide eye candy to increase Luke's morale (if he manages to look through Wrys, that is) and Ryan and Pretzel will rain down pain on our enemies.

Man you've got to wonder, how do a Mage and an Archer do mock combat? You can't exactly hold back with arrows, otherwise they just fall to the ground and you end up looking like an idiot. And Pretzel makes even less sense. The guy doesn't just fire sparks at the enemy, he flings fireballs as big as himself at them, and their whole bodies are engulfed by the flames! You can't just retreat from that! These guys aren't named bosses, they lack that ability.

The reason I've typed this little spiel down is to draw your attention away from the fact that I forgot to attack the Myrmidon with Pretzel.

Anyway, this Soldier survives Luke's assault with one HP, and for once, I actually did expect this to happen. If I were to end this guy now, the injured Soldier at his right would attack Luke, dying as well, and then Athena would make short work of Luke's remaining health.

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I love this feature. Probably the best quality of life feature IntSys added in the DS era. Not that I really needed it right now, Wrys has the inventory spaces and Luke isn't going to move anywhere, but it's still welcome.

 

Things aren't looking half bad. We should be ready to begin our assault in a turn or two. For now though, Wrys will engage into some sexy mage-on-mage action, just for Luke.

Fuck I promised. DON'T BAN MEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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Whatever, one turn later, after the Mercenary's offscreen death in mock combat, the soldier gets skewered by Luke in mock combat. It is time!

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Damnit Luke, it was time before you interrupted everything to get a level! Can't really complain though. He missed two very important stats, but I appreciate the defense.

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Never mind, looks like it wasn't time after all, because Ryan, too, got a level after chipping down Athena. Mighty fine one, too! That speed is Ryan's crippling flaw, but if he keeps this up, he might just become a permanent staple in the team until I kill him with my carelessness.

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Athena foolishly charges at Luke in the enemy phase and is almost killed and I won't go there again. I considered letting Luke have his way at her and I won't go there again, but didn't want to risk him dying, so I just raised the temperature around her and... need I say more?

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Pretzel gets this level. I'm glad I butchered canon to make him the child of a farmer, because his unusually high HP is the only thing keeping him alive-ish at this point.

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This magnificent man is even more pathetic than last time. Ryan takes the kill, which I believe I screencapped but can't be arsed to check.Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__1029.png.0673d2b7fd590a08627dec8b3346d954.png

But before wrapping things up, Wrys gets a level! Look at that. All the important stats. Learn from your dreamy cleric, Luke. Fun fact: the Wrys in my signature didn't have the growth drop. I didn't know of its existance when I did that one. It was just Wrys' own magical genius and a crapton of RNG manipulation.

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Sigh... MORE unwarranted praising!? Sure, he was more useful than Sheeda, but he didn't do any more than Ryan, and Luke's the indisputable MVP of the chapter! Praise Luke!

...that was way too out of character, I apologize. Uh... well, can't blame her for refusing to talk to Luke. Yeah. Good enough.

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Hard to forget such a bad name.

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Oh... greeeeeeat... *kicks Rody's corpse out of sight*

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Hey, bronze medal! That isn't so bad. Well, that is, unless there are only three platoons. I wonder what would Cain have told me if I lost everyone?

...well it's not very remarkable. The neutral version is more interesting, though. Cain mentions "tenth" is "just in the middle". So third really is good! Marvelous!

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This is Pretzel's Mary Sue flaw™, he's Wallace except he doesn't casually destroy a gang of brigands while trying to find his way home. 

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Then the king's sister nonchalantly comes up to a (at this point of the story) unimportant private and talks shit about Marth to him. Granted, for us players this really isn't so special because these are all named characters to us, but from a story perspective, it's kinda weird.

While we're here, I'll talk shit about Elice as well. Way to be ungrateful. He saves your ass and you criticize him for being kindhearted. Dangit Elice, what do you want? A tyrant for a brother? I'm joking, I get what she's trying to say, but it's still really strange.

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Oh dear. Well, then it's about time I closed this thread and stopped playing. Wouldn't want to be remembered by history as the "Guy who Drove the Hero King Marth to Suicide".

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Sigh... why this guy? You don't even know his name! Correct me if I'm wrong, but in the game's universe, I don't believe a giant brown box appears whenever someone speaks and their name is displayed inside a grey rectangle above it. There's no reason for this woman to make this request to this random, faceless squire.

Unless, of course, she just tells this to everyone she meets because she thinks so lowly of her brother, she thinks literally anyone would be fit to help him. Yeah. That'll be my new headcanon.

Prologue V

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It's a sad day when Luke calls you out for being a bumbling imbecile. I take it all back, you're not even remotely close to a Mary Sue, Pretzel. No writer would ridicule their dear Mary Sues so.

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AH! A GHOST! KILL IT!

BOOM

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...oh dear, what a mess I've made...

Hold on...

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Much better. That'll do until you fall into no-line hell.

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Fuck it fell off--

What...? How... h-how did you...?

597d198f0cd89_Ghostalive.png.2701488fc8db53df088f8a2aaeb5ccf1.png This is the prologue, remember? We don't die here, we just retreeaaaaaaat. Mock combat!

But... I...

...come to think about it, I don't even have a gun...

I... uh... let's just... blame it on the wind and move on.

A-anyway...

Luke, you dolt, Jagen's not going to kill us. If anything, he'll wear us down in order to feed our kills to his weaker friends. I know I already made that joke, c'mon it can't be that obvious.

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What a great idea, master strategist. Let's march all night! Genius! Except for the part where we march the wrong way all night and by morning we find ourselves in Khadein.

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such suprise i can see in ur fais """"""""""katarina""""""""""

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I like this scene, because it's one of those rare cases in which the generic bandit named Bandit is actually the boss, and not just the guy who says "man I love pillaging, oh lookie there soldiers" to the actual, slightly less generic bandit boss.

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And there we go! This is our map, complete with the boss who doesn't even get to keep his portrait and instead shows us his amazing squatting skills. Except he isn't really squatting. Maybe he's got lumbago.

And for the record, I'm not slavic, I'm spanish. Spanish from Spain, Europe. It's kind of awkward. For you englishmen, the George/Jeorge change means next to nothing, but for me, since the spanish G and J are pronounced vastly differently (sometimes, anyway), whenever I see Jeorge I instinctively think of something along the lines of "*disgusting sound of forcing phlegm into your mouth to spit*eorge". Which is fucking atrocious.

...where was I? Oh right, prologue V, FE12.

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This is the plan. Athena will bait the barbarian and hunter on the right up, Pretzel will do the same with their offscreen southern counterparts, Ryan and Luke will stick around to help finish them off, Wrys will keep a prudent distance and Sheeda will, once again, chill at a corner because there are bow users in the map.

And for once, it works out perfectly! Athena jeigans the barbarian.

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Oh wait, not everything worked as planned because I completely forgot about this thief. I was actually really worried he'd go for Pretzel, but I'm going to guess he was just out of his range, because he decided to go hit on Athena. Which still isn't very good, she was left with 3 HP (neither 7 nor 1 because I'm bad at taking screenshots. But look, it's such a great combat shot!). But we lived, so I'm happy.

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Oh. Merric.

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Let me tell you a little story, this is actually my third LP. The first two were in a private chat with a friend, taking pictures of the screen with my phone. Real shitty fun between friends, y'know. He had never even heard of Fire Emblem before that. When I showed him FE12, Merric turned out shitty as hell, completely outclassed by Linde and just an overall liability. So we developed this inside joke that Merric sucks and is the worst unit in the entire series.

So forgive me if I sound a tad unimpressed when he's around. It's just habit by now, I'm afraid. We still use Merric as an insult from time to time.

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In any case, Luke's our lowest leveled character, so he gets the thief kill. No levels just yet, but he's in the 90s, so one more fight and he'll get there.

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Athena then weaken--

Errrrrgh...

So, let's assess the situation. If I let him live one more turn, he'll kill Athena. If I retreat to heal, he'll kill Wrys.

Well. You may have him, Athena.

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Like so.

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Pretzel's running low on mock fire. Go ahead Merric, give him your fake fire tome for training. Hold on, but Merric just arrived, why would he be carrying a fake--

Never mind I just remembered we're fighting real chapter 1 bandits now. It's all good.

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He then finishes off the barbarian, and Sheeda avenges the self-pride she lost last chapter by doing role-reversal.

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Is it Lilina? Is it Lute? No! It's a slow-ass mage MU! You can tell it's not Lute or Lilina because his HP is higher than 18.

And would you look at that, everything went as planned! The map is empty, save for our friend Memorabulus.

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Athena fares well, but I fear that 6% crit. So I just let Luke trade some blows with Bandit Ruffian and get his level-up.

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...

Now, Luke, you might have been fooled by my acting and my impressive photoshop paint.net skills, but... Rody's coming back. And Cecil's on her way, and Draug is great as Cavalier, and then there's Frey, Cain, the sabre knights...

What I'm trying to tell you is, this better not happen again.

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Okay so now Pretzel--

Sorry, I mean...

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Ryan--

Bah. Well then, it's up to Luke and Athena now.

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Luke retreats for some intimate time with his lovely Staffman after one more round of combat with Rufus Band, and Athena engages in combat with him. Things aren't looking too bright for him.

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I'd rather have given Ruffian Bandit's kill to Ryan or Pretzel, but I do NOT want to risk missing and having to LTC Matthis, so Luke does the honors. He's still tied with Ryan for the lowest level, so it's fine.

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And now we meet Louise doing a Murdock cosplay and going on about how... something, was easier than taking candy from a baby...? Seriously? That's hard as hell! Their parents would sue the crap out of you and some more if you tried!

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But no really, what exactly was the point of this? Pillaging a village just in case we got lost and happened to walk by, and decided to drive them away, making Marth take an interest on us, proceeding to knight us personaly so your inside woman can call in a bunch of barbarians, hunters, mages and thieves to kill us while she chills down the corridor for Arran or anyone else to just waltz in and kill her? Assuming, of course, that Katarina would be assigned into a platoon that would make it through the initial tests in the first place, whose commander would have a really bad sense of orientation to make this scenario even remotely possible?

Seems like a really, really, REAAAAAAALLY, REEEEEEAAAAAAALLYYYYYY bad plan to me. But it works because plot.

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And here, we come across the Draug/Ogma choice. I'm more or less neutral here, as they're both equally difficult if I'm not mistaken. So feel free to abstain again so I can choose whoever I want!

That would be all. I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Hopefully, not at 2:00 P.M.

Edited by Rubenio
Removing the leftover random pictures

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597f1221cfbc3_Barlowe-copia2.png.ee7510fc99597eee7722651cb2cda4c4.png Another day, another part of my LP. Very well, let's place all the files in the virtual palette, ready to paint the next update.

597f1223717d7_Barlowe-copia3.png.91f22aa575f6a0c68b05ab6bcb2aec1e.png ...

Unh.png.0df066fdd7d7a41d70b52d32d745f252.png

597f1223717d7_Barlowe-copia3.png.91f22aa575f6a0c68b05ab6bcb2aec1e.png Damnit, Luke, you weigh too much.

Part 3 - I think I made a grave mistake.

And had I known I wouldn't even be able to upload the full update, I wouldn't have done it.

Spoiler

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With a whooping one vote, Ogma won, so we'll be telling Katarina that we are, in fact, worried about something. Pretzel then proceeds to prove why I dislike naming and modelling the avatar after myself. I would never describe the Roro Legion as "a funny man with a mask". Who do you think you're talking about, Pretz? The guy doubles you in size!

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Of course you didn't. I don't think there's anything else to be said, here.

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Oh dear, Pretzel now knows too much and is gonna get some poisoned mutton. You know who's never gotten some poisoned mutton? Marth. The king. Pretzel's so important, they use Historical King Killer 101 on him instead of on, y'know, the king. Naaaaah for that, it's best to call a bunch of early game units and chill three rooms away.

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Speaking of the devil... why is Katarina here? I understand Marth being Marth would like to speak to Pretzel as the commander of the Best Platoon Ever, but why is Katarina here?

...oh, of course. The face. I get it, now.

597f14ceab961_Ghostalive.png.98ef038299f6e54bda8a12baa711e110.png ...Best Platoon Ever?

Don't you dare.

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You're probably expecting me to shit on this scene. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but this is rather in-character for Marth. He's an idealistic child, after all. Makes more sense than Elice who's never seen us before in her life.

(also, I don't know if it happens to anyone else, but having played Dishonored to death, I cannot see the phrase "I believe so" the same way anymore. As in, not laughing my ass off).

Prologue VI

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We begin this chapter, as usual, with Luke saying things of little relevance to the plot. Gotta love him. Or at least, love to hate him.

Speaking of which, you still have an M in your forehead. Can't really tell you to comb your hair, though, I hardly ever do.

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Oh wow. This is interesting.

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Ryan looks like an eight year old, what kind of girls are there in here? And Rody's a damn corpse! What, exactly, are these weirdos into? They're worse than me!

I-I-I mean, they're worse than Luke! Dang it, Luke, you're the worst even at being a weirdo!

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Well I mean, pretzels are quite tasty.

Oh, you mean my unfortunately-named MU. Well I mean, he could have inherited his father's unisex hips, for all we know.

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Surprisingly, Luke doesn't inmediately save us some turns by punching Katarina in the nose, cancelling Prologue VIII, but actually seems to be aware of his status of "third wheel to Ryan and a dead body". Only to botch it all up at the end. Dang it, Luke.

Actually, scratch that, why wait to the end? He already messed it all up by forcing us through Prologue VIII by not kicking Katarina out right now, increasing my chances of having to LTC Matthis. Dang it already, Luke!

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Your hair is nowhere near as long as Pretzel's, don't be silly. You can't fix your hair like him.

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Then Jagen comes to praise us like always, except he forgot we're not in an ancient epic but in a 2010 videogame, translated by ordinary fans. Come now, that's cheesy as hell, especially when it comes after a Luke scene. I'm just joking, I actually really like the translation. Just in case some easily-triggered translators are reading this.

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I hope, this is being too easy!

(Wrys, I think Rody's breaking free, go make sure he stays down).

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Frey! I love Frey. He survived dying without getting an anime scar on his face. You'd do well to listen to him, Pretzel.

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Never mind, they reduced him to part-time tutorial and exposition giver. Bah. Still awesome.

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And we're done with the text at last! Here are our map and boss, Dr--

...

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Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__16266.png.927ade628010711e51af52098142bff0.png

--Ogma, who can double everyone but Athena. And I guess Sheeda but I'm not bringing Sheeda.

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I don't believe Ogma needs any introduction, but it's okay, you're likeable enough that I won't rant about your unnecesary formalities.

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See? Even this innocent little woman knows about him.

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And here is Cecille, who's more or less this game's Hardin, except she's nowhere near as tanky and doesn't get insta-silver lances. Now that I think about it, she's nothing like Hardin except for her join time compared to Luke/Rody and her growths.

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It looks like Convenience has kept herself occupied. Thank you, Katie.

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All right, time to work. Luke and an unarmed Athena will now ensure the enemies don't go anywhere near our squishy scrubs. I considered Cecil, but her defense is comparable to Wrys', so she'll just stay behind and distribute the convenient weaponery around the troops. This turn, she gives Ryan a steel bow.

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First mistake of the day, I left Pretzel in range of this guy. Although, to be fair, it's more like a blessing in disguise, because this guy is the only ranged enemy in the map.

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This is how things stand at the moment. Ogma and his cavalier friend have moved up to siege Luke. It would do Luke no good if that Fighter were to die, so let's just disa--

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Dang it, Luke!

Jokes aside, this is perfectly fine. Luke has just enough luck not to get critted by Ogma, and the defense to take three hits. If I heal him, he won't follow his friend's footsteps.

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You know what's NOT perfectly fine? This! DAAAAAAAAANGIIIIIIT LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!!!

Show him up, Wrys!

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See? If green represented the stats that remain the same, Wrys would better than you, Luke! You better get up to speed, post-haste!

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This is the second reason why worrying about Luke is not necesary. Ogma's decided Athena is a more worthy opponent for him. What an unfitting quote. Ogma, she's not a trainee. Hell, she's better than your boss version in this map!

I guess the second Fighter rushing up to take a shot at Luke helped his decision.

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Well, not quite, but Ogma's better armed and his class gives him more HP. Let's just call it a draw.

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The fighter almost killed himself battling Luke, giving us the perfect chance to feed Ryan some experience. For her part, Cecille gives Pretzel her Elfire tome.

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Predictably, Ogma decides to attack Slowpoke Luke, who survives with little health and deals irrelevant damage.

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And with some artillery action, courtesy of Pretzel and Ryan, we defeat the Gladiator.

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Hah hah hah! Great! This kid's impressing me quite a bit! I never cared much for him, but that might change. Keep it up.

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After that, all that remains is  to clean up. This guy is such a non-issue, I gave his kill to Cecille. It might very well be her one contribution to the cause, but hey, every bit helps.

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This, I can understand. Ogma's more or less a legend in Archanea, defeating him, even in mock combat, is quite the accomplishment.

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Another choice, so soon! This update's a bit too short for my liking.

Eh, we all know the correct choice, right?

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No, Katarina, we don't agree with the likes of you!

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Poor girl. I almost feel bad. One of these days I'll have to explain that I don't really hate Katarina this much.

Prologue VII

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Thanks, Cain!

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What exactly could Frey have told you? As much as I like the guy, all he did was give us a tutorial.

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Such a subtle jab at The Walking Dead.

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And here's the map of the day, along with the boss, Est!

C'moooooooooooon gotta make it interesting somehow. Unlike the Gordin/Athena choice, where Gordin would be completely useless while Athena's Jeigan, Est is not that much worse than Cain, and her resistance allows her to be of use against the Mages in Prologue VIII. Besides, the most Cain can get in his one prologue chapter is one level, unless you feed him everyone which is basically impossible. He doesn't need this to be good. Then again, Est doesn't see any use ever, but eh.

...yeah I know, I made a mistake and will probably have to LTC Matthis. We've already been over that.

So, let's use this chance to have a chat with our friend the prologue Jeigan.

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Well, your english is quite good for a foreigner. You have the most unique kind of recurrent typo I've ever seen, but hey, at least it's not you're fault. Your quite alright, Athena.

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W-what!? N-no! Of course not! I only think them... ahem I mean--

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...I... how dare... h-how dare you belittle me so?!

Then again I am into that sort of-- I mean LUKE might be into that sort of thing. Dang it Luke!

...

Moving right on.

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Look, a distraction! Everyone hates Est, now that she's shown her mug there'll be no hatred left for me or my interests. Hahah you were Abel's downfall. Such an idiotic wench.

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Time for combat. Est oversees the battle from the rightmost corner.

See, this map is easier when Est is the boss. We start here, even further away from the boss than if we'd gone for Cain, and there are only two ways to access our healer, which can easily be blocked.

I had this planned and it surely wasn't dumb luck because I've never played this version before.

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Formation time. Quite a predictable one.

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Except for the fact that I, again, forgot about Archers in range of Pretzel. Steel bow Archers, at that! I'm gonna have him killed by accident, one of these days. The other one goes for Ogma.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19088.png.11ae3c333e3ac99483f0b940ef9e93ca.png

Annoying Archers. Meet the graceful Athena! Who now hates me!

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19130.png.0f9f6b030181e500158ac0f1baf60560.png

This is the part where I've no choice but to heal Ogma, but feel uneasy about it because in Cain's version, one of the reinforcements is a Pegasus that can cover the entire battlefield. Alas, my worries were unfounded.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19153.png.f581ece4793e89c7eb744631a1f967ac.pngFire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19365.png.4c41cae94f5859abf6b7b2de47f9b6ca.pngFire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19319.png.934f4f5b5b2df5465f8b990988669e14.png

We fight and break through the enemy lines.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19388.png.c8354132f67d8552d44ebfbb6250e845.png

Awesome! That's a masterpiece of a level, Jeigana. Athena's situation is somewhat unfortunate with her awfully late returning time (only beating Est), but one more level like this and she'll be quite solid after coming back. Hell, even with just this one she'll be decent!

 Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19470.png.220b9b7c664ab921f0fe87b515cb58cf.png

And now the reinforcements show up. I'd already moved Wrys, correctly guessing they'd come this turn. Turns out I worried for nothing: two Cavaliers and a handaxe Fighter. Reinforcements befitting of their leader. Cain's Pegasus Knight was much more threatening.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19493.png.eee919439a3b1780d21d1417d135f73d.png

Athena was in low health after taking care of the other Fighter, though, and the cavalier brought her dangerously low. And Est has also started to move, which I should have been prepared for but alas, we've already established I'm bad.

Alas is a word that has always confused me as a spaniard. You see, "alas" in spanish is plural for "ala", which means "wing". This has absolutely no relation to the english meaning of the word. I remember in my young, non-english speaking days, I thought people just started to talk in spanish randomly. Then again, I barely read or listened to any english back then.

Wanna know something else? This has absolutely no relation to the task at hand, either. So let's just stop rambling and get on murdering the Lesser Whitewing.

...oh look, turns out there IS a link between my ramblings and the task at hand. Huh. I'm dumbstruck.

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Ryan and Ogma take care of the Cavaliers and... I'm in a bit of a bad spot. You see, both Luke and Athena get killed in one round of combat with Est unless I heal them. I can't just heal one and let the other drink some Vulnerary, because I need all three of Pretzel, Athena and Luke to bring down Est reliably. Ryan can't reach her to end the battle inmediately, and he can't help Ogma box Wrys up either, because the Cavalier just barely survived Athena and I need him out of the way. And attacking the Pegasus Knight with ordinary iron tier weapons doesn't pack quite enough punch to do her in. What does this all add up to?

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19865.png.c946f7f5ab8bebc91a57f0a84066ffbc.png

It, my friend, adds up to having to hit thrice with this hitrate, give or take one or two numbers. Anything else, and we'll be waving goodbye one of our units.

You know, Ironman runs may be frustrating, but I can assure you, nothing I've ever done in Fire Emblem has ever been this intense. And I don't always play with save states. Not even that one time I beat FE6 without them. Just the thought of having to LTC Matthis, man. I am really looking forward to getting out of this accursed prologue.

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Believe it or not, I'm not sure.

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Okay Pretzel didn't ruin everything. Well done, Pretzel. But we're far from being out of the woods.

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Athena fares slightly better against Est, but that doesn't mean squat when she still gets 2-shot. Seriously, missing any of these thrusts might very well turn out to be crippling for the LP. It would be up to Est whether we'd lose one of our combat units (of which we don't exactly have many to spare, at this stage) or our healer. And I haven't even mentioned Matthis.

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Fantastic! She's on the ropes now.

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Luke trades 10% more hit in exchange of making me lose not just one unit but TWO if he is to fail. And no, the iron sword doesn't help either, it has, in fact, the exact same accuracy against Est. It's all or nothing now!

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__20038.png.09f6f1fca68868a1377c78eb8d99606d.png

Yeah, it might not seem that impressive to you, cold-hearted viewer, but for me, it was a huge relief to see this.

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This, too, was a sight to behold. He now has higher defense than Cain. He's still not as tanky because of his lower HP, but he'll nonetheless do fine. Not that Cain was any better against the Mages anyway.

Or Est for that matter, existent resistance be damned, that 20 HP is just ludicrous. Est, please, your boss form is better than that! The only other ones that share that trait are Luke and Rody, and they're level 1 growth Cavaliers so it's understandable that they'd give them a boost to make them decent bosses.

Anyway.

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The handaxe fool kills himself on Pretzel. No kidding, he was wounded last turn when he tried to boomerang Ryan. That was enough to allow Elfire to make short work of his sorry life.

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This gives Pretzel some much needed speed. Perhaps not right now, but he'll be needing it later. I would appreciate some defense, considering you're not going to get Nosferatu, but I guess a reclass to Dark Mage can fix that somewhat.

And that's a wrap! The conclusion of Prologue VII will be included in the next update, because I can't fit it in here.

To finish this update up and to make up for not letting you vote the Cain/Est matter, I'll let you decide whether or not Pretzel will be wearing Cecille's headband. Please, do tell me what you think.

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Personaly, I don't like it. The female version looks better and it looks really out of place when put in a Mage with a monocle, but I'll do what you think is best. And with that, I fare you all well.

Edited by Rubenio
Customary excess pictures removal.

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15 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

I say keep, the default hair. BTW, what does LTC mean?

It means Low Turn Count. If more than one unit dies in the prologue, to access chapter 3x, you have to beat it in less than 28 turns on this difficulty. And that map is long as hell. That's why I am so worried about losing units. Not that I've lost anyone yet. Wink wink.

No update just yet. For reasons beyond my comprehension, serenesforest is cutting down the max total size of the files I can upload. Last update it was at 3.91 MB which is why I had to cut the ending out, now it's a measly 880 KB. I'll have to find a mirror to upload the pictures. I've always used Facebook for the odd picture I had to send somewhere, but for this many screenshots it wouldn't be very practical. I'll find a way, and see if I can push the next update by tonight.

EDIT: Okay, Imgur looks good. I still won't be able to do this until tonight, so sit tight, viewers.

Edited by Rubenio

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59809b0a15411_Barlowe-copia.png.9f38800b5c63ef20763293b7ce93b6b1.png ...and there we go, all the pictures have been uploaded to Imgur. I'll continue the Let's Play tonight. Now, on to the next thing!

59809b0641dfe_Barlowe-copia2.png.aec943338c8144745927a016ad0e7c85.png ...

59809b078419a_Barlowe-copia3.png.031518ca9c101587a9e0278adee0826a.png ...I'm bored.

59809b0a15411_Barlowe-copia.png.9f38800b5c63ef20763293b7ce93b6b1.png Let's do it NOW!

Part 4 - Will I have to LTC Matthis?

Hopefully I won't. Let us find out!

Spoiler

fXLcK1A.png

But first, the Prologue VII conclusion. Imgur works wonders not, so I shouldn't have to do this crap again.
 

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Oh dear. Not this again. T-that is, I haven't lost anyone, but this whole process is really tedious.
59809eca79ac9_Ghostalive.png.a0613fbb95fefe89e0b6ce525d38b2ee.png I'm not invisible, am I?
59809b078419a_Barlowe-copia3.png.031518ca9c101587a9e0278adee0826a.png I wish you were. Oh! Look overthere!
59809eca79ac9_Ghostalive.png.a0613fbb95fefe89e0b6ce525d38b2ee.png That is the oldest trick in the book. And I can see the axe.
59809ff272f25_Barlowearmed.png.3bf0f3fcc762776d868d638faf59e0e0.png STRIKE THE BRAIN!
WHACK

Ghost.png.0bd27061a0c9fbb0dfcb1457638aa9d4.png

59809b0641dfe_Barlowe-copia2.png.aec943338c8144745927a016ad0e7c85.png God bless weapon triangle advantage. Okay, now, Wrys, if you please, hide this lifeless sack of bones under a rock or something.

59809b0641dfe_Barlowe-copia2.png.aec943338c8144745927a016ad0e7c85.png ...

59809b078419a_Barlowe-copia3.png.031518ca9c101587a9e0278adee0826a.png I'm sorry, Sir Jagen, you were saying...?

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59809b078419a_Barlowe-copia3.png.031518ca9c101587a9e0278adee0826a.png ...

I did tell you we haven't lost anybody, did I? I was right all along.

Yeah.

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Here, we witness Luke as he catches sight of a female's assets. Or maybe it's the "hefty lance" part.

...man, I'm gonna miss Luke after he falls into no-line hell. Although considering all I ever do is complain about having to LTC Matthis and bully Luke, there might not be much of an LP left for Luke to be missed once we're out of the Prologue.

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...never mind Luke, what's up with you? Cecille, you're sc--
 
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Oh look the corpse is back. We're still in the Prologue. Don't worry, mate. The day in which I put you out of your misery permanently just to keep this crappy joke up will soon come.
 
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Then Pretzel just so happens to run into Katarina wandering around the castle at night. I really need to stop taking this kind of screenshots. I was about to give you directions to your bedrooms but...
Oh wait, right, this ain't Luke, she's just being all evil.
 
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Then she starts to tell him her life. Oh dear the slave market, everything that will soon happen is forgiv-- pfah. Maybe if your killer gets a good level.
 
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Then she goes on to speak of the woman who rescued her from there and took care of her and... more or less confesses to Pretzel, but since he can't see the future like I can, he doesn't get the hints.
 
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No, I didn't forget any screencap. Well, yes I did. Three dots. Good old Katarina.
 
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Inmediately after that, this happens. Have you guys been wandering around all night? I understand about Katarina, but why is Pretzel still god knows where when it clearly is daylight now? It's not the day after, because then Katarina wouldn't be like "sorry I forgot one thing that time we talked five mins ago". It makes no sense.
 
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Yeah, one you won't be wearing.
 
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No, not really. And the viewers agree with me!
 

It was at about this point when I noticed that Imgur messed everything up and didn't upload the screenshots in the correct order. At first I thought it was just the Prologue VII conclusion considering I did it in a different day, so I tried to carry on, but then I noticed, nope, ALL the damned pictures are messed up. So while I intended to go a little further into Prologue VIII, I'm just going to leave it here until I can accumulate the willpower to work this issue out.

I'm just happy I could do this little update. Guess that's what being a newbie does to your Let's Plays. I pray I won't have to just abruptly discontinue it, like so many before me.

Edited by Rubenio

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Well, least you only have one dead so far, though it'll be a shame he'll have to die again.

Also, TIL about the Spanish for wing.

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5981b668c995d_Barlowe-copia.png.5c46d183549523ea7516bee478efd25c.png At last! Imgur now works fine. It is time to finish the prologue!

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png What was the time limit to get into chapter 3x on hard, again? 28 turns?

5981b6670f8ca_Barlowe-copia3.png.b390f1481449f93f6772fc54e55bb0a3.png Shut up, Roderick. I will be able to take longer than 28 turns because I won't lose anybody.

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png Really? Not even Est?

5981b6670f8ca_Barlowe-copia3.png.b390f1481449f93f6772fc54e55bb0a3.png Will you go back to hell where you belong? I will NOT lose Est or anybody else for that matter. It is only because of your weakness that I lost you.

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png Sure. Anyway, go on. I look forward to seeing you struggle to get to 3x.

5981b6659c0f3_Barlowe-copia2.png.7700d46eef42cfae7199ec61990183fe.png Oh, don't be silly, you won't live all the way to chapter 3 either way.

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png ...

Part 5 - The speed of an elderly snail.

Just a little thing before we begin, you'll notice I've edited the OP slightly. I have decided to remove that "growth drop unit becomes a lord" rule. I thought of that one mostly to ensure I would have a Gharnef killer, but then I decided to make MU a mage, so as it stands, the rule is very redundant. I will be using the growth drop, but I won't reset if the unit that gets it is to die.

Speaking of which, feel free to tell me who you think should get it. I would suggest an earlygame scrub, such as Matthis, Wrys, Yubello, Bord... but feel free to vote anybody you want. Just, try to make it interesting please, I'm not going to give it to Palla or anything like that. See, my favourite thing to do with it is to give it to Wrys and turn our favourite old fart into a killing machine. Wouldn't it be cool to see one of those AWFUL units being used, for once?

With that out of the way, let's see if I'll have to LTC Matthis.

On 2/8/2017 at 4:57 PM, Dayni said:

Well, least you only have one no dead so far, though it'll be a shame he'll never have to die again.

Also, TIL about the Spanish for wing.

And as I was proofreading, this arrived. Awesome! A new replier. Keep it up and I'll be able to stop crossing out the s in viewers.

Spoiler

Prologue VIII

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Well, this can't mean anything but happiness and partying.

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You know, I never really thought about it before but Luke really does open up every single prologue chapter. Damnit Luke don't be such an attention whore.

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No, actually, as much as it pains me to say this, you were my best non-Athena unit. I hope you can keep up as the game progresses.

ROEgdGC.png
Aaaaaand there we go. Remember when, all the way back in Prologue II, I commended Luke for not saying, well, this? Dangit Luke, you took your sweet time, but you ruined everything in the end.

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It's Luke. Boisterous shouldn't be his second name because that honour would belong to "complete idiot" but Boisterous would be an okay third name, if having so many names wasn't ridiculous.

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Especially the strength of us as a team. You couldn't take two hits.

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Pffff hahahahahahah. I love this line, only because of who it is that says it. Rody's grateful for being led to his death. Amazing.

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Cecille he looks older than you. Maybe it's only the monologue, but he really does look older, if only a little.

...it's just me, is it not? Unh.

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There are many things you wouldn't expect to be true about Katarina, Pretzel. You'll see, soon enough.

peuhULI.pngULDzW7t.png

And then, the time comes! Hurray! Etzel's estranged son is now an Altean knight!

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Thanks, Marth, but we've already had enough flatery as it is-- wait, hold your horses Marth! Knights? As in, plural? You have only knighted Pretzel!

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You haven't, Rody! Of course, you in particular wouldn't have either way, but Marth has skipped everybody else! None of you are knights! This accolade ceremony is a sham!

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And then a generic comes in and interrupts... this "sacred induction"? It might be the hardware limitations, but I do believe all that's happened is that Marth has said a couple sentences to Pretzel and then told him that, from that moment on, he was an Altean knight. There's nothing sacred about this!p3UI8u6.png5uzd456.png

Blunderbuss! I did not forsee this!

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And then Jagen goes out to lead the defending forces. Which makes me question once more, where in blazes is Arran? Isn't this his job? I might be mistaken, but I recall Arran took over your role in Shadow Dragon when you grew too old for it. Why isn't he assuming command and why aren't you staying with Marth as his mentor and tactician?

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Since when are you in charge, Rody? This piece of dialogue belongs to Pretzel.

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Oh, rest assured, they'll find an excuse to make us fight. There wouldn't be much of a chapter otherwise. Although, it would have been awesome if there was a bonus chapter where you played as Jagen and an army of generics and fought Roro.

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Alas, 'twas not to be. Why didn't you just kill them, Katarina? I know that Katarina is actually a good person, but I'm pretty sure this wasn't part of what you planned with the crazed masked maniac and palette swap Louise.

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Great Scott! What a twist!

(It is, I believe, but since I don't have anything better to do than to mock the storyline for not shocking me after I've been through it a few times already...)

LvA8Pfq.png

It took some time, but we're finally here! Prologue VIII, the closest the Prologue gets to resembling an ordinary chapter. Mainly thanks to it having more than one screen.4bUgX1x.png

MPz1T0Y.png

I'll find an actual map for future chapters. Maybe in fireemblemwod.com, that's usually a great website to find maps, and since I am spanish, I won't have any troubles browsing it.

dApCCT7.png

I can't figure out how it happened, but Est's heal staff is gone. It's happened to me before. When you kill Cain/Est with a full inventory(or, well, anyone for that matter, but unless you do it on purpose you don't usually fill anyone's inventory until now), the game asks you if you want to drop an item. That's all very self-explanatory and easy to comprehand, but since you've a convoy from the beginning of the main game, I always think it's asking me if I want to send it to the convoy, and click yes without thinking. We'll have to put all those vulneraries to good use.

xHsSTGY.pngABO23z7.png

If your luck stat is anything lower than 30 I'm going to be really disappointed.

GbQhnSk.png

Not really, Marth isn't the kind I would trust to accept bribes. It is easy to earn it. Please talk properly, your literally making no sense.

gna3q7i.png

Anyway, I'm going to do this slowly so as to minimize the chances of losing anybody. This is our form--

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Huff... puff... haaaaaaaah...

okay... she dodged... awwwwwww fuck me, why did I choose her?

AND WHY DID I LEAVE HER IN RANGE OF THE HUNTER? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING CAREFULLY!

1jeOy3h.pngYfJszd4.png

The Thief tries his luck against Ogma. Ogma proceeds to provide a strong argument against using him.

mULtRj5.pngvmtHXvd.png

Ryan (after some chipping courtesy of Est) and Pretzel then pick up the slack.

7cixCi1.png

Look, our first double digit strength! I'd rather you got some more speed, but this is all right.

IVPK9QI.png

Next turn, we do the exact same thing. Pretzel has just enough speed not to get doubled by the Thieves that won't last, believe me.

EkIB78g.pnguVTTfOr.png

One of the Thieves is taken out by Luke, while Ryan's target tries to go super saiyan but fails miserably.

AmieXmK.png

Luke, what's gotten into you? Aside from two of them, all the levels you've gotten so far have made me momentarily forget we're not playing Shadow Dragon! You better not keep this up if you don't want to be benched!

v2fJLwA.png

A turn of healing, and the next wave of reinforcements arrives. Handaxe fools who can't even two-shot Pretzel at full health. I don't attack them, waiting seems to be the best course of action here.

T0ArfRk.png

And then he dodges. Pfffffft. Javelins and Hand axes are so crappy in this game.

Which I actually quite like. Way too often we find Fire Emblem games where one can get away with just using the Hand Axe 24/7.

dBHVQ8z.png

The next one hits, but it doesn't matter anymore. Sorry, my bad, it never mattered to begin with.

aJSqu2e.png

Oh shit GAH! Okay good, he's still alive. Looks like it did--

sAYilpe.png

...

This is actually giving me flashbacks to my maniac run where Etzel got doubled by wyverns. Good times, good times.

NuQI4gd.png

It's been a while since the last time we saw this. I wish it really was the last time.

M6Ac9Ht.png

Sigh. Okay, first things first, KEEP THE FLIER OUT OF THE ARCHER'S RANGE! I got the craziest luck last time, but I can't count on it happening again.

GODRrUx.png

This is our new formation. No, these two Thieves don't double Pretzel, and even if they did, they're not capable of one rounding him.

Wf87VOH.pngXLMgQ2c.png


The other Thief tries to bring Ogma down again. At least this time he had enough speed not to get doubled. Good for him, but better for me since I can feed that delicious Thief experience to someone else. Pretzel gets out of the way while finishing up his Thief, and Ryan shows the Hunter that, while Archers are worse than Hunters, he as an archer is better than any faceless Hunter.

SJmz9Cy.png

Good work Ryan, you got the same exact thing as before. I now feel slightly better about resetting.

k5yf0MS.pngiCVhdWk.png

Wrys heals Pretzel and gains defensive stats. Awesome. Good job, Wrys. You don't need the Growth Drop to be fantastic.

(Yes, I also noticed Wrys moved before Ryan and Ogma. Not that it matters too much).

9sPA7GJ.png

Luke ends the last Thief's life.

hBe2NTs.png

Whoa. He keeps this up and he's going to become Lowen. Which I am completely fine with.

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Blah blah next wave of Thieves. This map isn't that interesting to watch, all things considered.

19gMDn5.png4R9CYMb.png

Jeigan.png

UfF2BKs.pngU2yoAkX.png

Our protagonists team up to claim the experience. Pretzel keeps charging up his magical power, but his speed is still Lilina levels of mediocre.

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Anyway, here come the Axe Bros (not the ones we know, the ones that are irrelevant. I know, I know, that still doesn't make them any different).

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They attack Pretzel again and this time, he takes both axes to the face. I would give MU an unfitting background to make them viable again, that HP is proving to be indispensable.

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Ogma and... to be entirely honest, I don't know who finish the fighters. Sorry guys, it's been two days since I played this and started to encounter one technical problem after another.

LV4flOD.png6aMYVyF.png

Then Marth and, surprisingly enough, Athena avenge past Pretzel. I would like to give Athena one more level before we're done with the Prologue. Hence, why she's getting a valuable Thief kill. She's earned that much, and more.

Besides, it'll help me use her once she's back. Yes, I've decided I am going to try to use her. That's the beauty of this game's hard mode. Hard enough not to be a snoozefest, but lenient enough to use pretty much anyone.

YF3Ka94.png

Est and Ryan take care of the remaining Thief. No, I didn't screecap Ryan. In fact, I had to figure out he had killed the Thief by looking at their positions in the map. This update's doomed to suck, it seems.

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And, since the reinforcements are no more, we move on to phase 2 of the plan: slowly but surely lure in the stationary enemies. First, the western Hunter gives Pretzel the chance to show us why nobody likes the DS animations. C'mon, the GBA mage critical hit animation wasn't great, but this is something else.

Personaly, I'm rather fond of them, but there's no denying that, objectively, they're pretty much the worst in the series. Giving everyone generic blue colours didn't help their case either, but I can understand the reasons behind that decision. I'm not very knowledgable when it comes to programming, but I think It would have been really tedious to make it so that every single character had their own colours for every single class in the game. Just look at the GBA randomizer, it would not have been as easy as just copypasting.

That said, I agree they could have done a better job. The style's rather good, it's just the animations lost the over-the-top flair they had in the other games.

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Anyway, since Thieves are so valuable, Pretzel gets another level already. Speed's good but seriously, what's with the merely sufficient levels? This is FE12, the game with some of the highest growth rates in the series. You've a 60% HP growth, for the love of the RNGod! The same mag growth! A 45% speed growth! We're getting these level-ups much more commonly than we should.

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Anyway, with the Hunter gone, it's time to use Athena to lure in the silver axe Brigand.

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Like so. I'd like to point out the 51% chance of hitting. One of my favourite things in FE12 (and FE11 I suppose, but I never got too far into that one) is that since everyone has so little avoid, dodgetanks aren't as prominent as they were in, say, the GBA games. Look at this, Athena's our dodgiest character and she's standing in a pillar with WTA against a guy whose class is known to be unskilled and uses axes of all things. And yet, she's still facing a coinflip chance of taking an axe to the face. She came out victorious this time, but my point stands.

I like Generals in this game very much for that reason. The higher overall movement, the smaller maps, the decline of dodgetanks and their access to bows that allow them to wreck fliers and have better ranged options than the horrible javelins FE12 has to offer really help them shine.

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Marth isn't quite as slippery as Athena, but his accuracy is just as good, and for this particular skirmish, that's all that matters.

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I'm honestly running out of things to say here. This is going to be happening three or four times. Athena moves up, people trade blows with her, one of our less-awesome scrubs comes in to pick up the slack.

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So yeah. Here. Have a funny-looking combat shot.

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Actually, sorry, something different occured. Wrys heals Athena which wouldn't be noteworthy at all if it hadn't provided us this example of my marvelous screenshotting skills.

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Pretzel takes out the Barbarian because Ryan cannot reach him (who's idea was it to give Archers the same movement as Knights? While I like Knights, Archers are just even more awful than usual here. At least Snipers are great).

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One more kill and our Lord gets his first level. Not too bad. I would have liked some speed, but the defensive stats will make it easier to get him to the throne unscattered.

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I use Ryan as bait for a chance. Athena wouldn't be able to retaliate against the Mage, but Ryan will.

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Afterwards, Luke rather boisterously stabs the Mage.

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Katarina has two Thieves as bodyguards. Let's bait them out one by one.

(by the way, if you notice any mistakes with the cropping from here on, I forgot to crop some of the screencaps and I had to do it in Imgur instead of using paint.net as usual. I did what I could, but the lack of grid means that I probably cut some overworld heads off).

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...ergh...

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Maybe here?

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Here!

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Yeah, they set up one last dickmove at the very end of the map for the scatterbrained players. These two Thieves? They will only move to attack someone if they're inside Katarina's range as well. Which means that, at the very least, someone's going to have to live through a blast of elfire and a steel sword to the gut. Rushing them could work, I suppose, but I'd rather not risk missing a 89% and be forced to LTC Matthis.

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So instead, we'll find someone who can survive through the onslaught. It turns out that Ogma is, rather unexpectedly, the only one who meets these requirements. Athena has the same defenses but her lower HP would be her downfall if we were to use her for this. Even Ogma has to heal that one HP if he is to stand a chance, for crying out loud!

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As it turns out, Ogma dodges Katarina's strike. Thanks, Ogma. Real classy, now my whole argument about dodging not being reliable in this game has been rendered moot.

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Ryan shoots the Thief Athena wounded, and gets the speed I'd been hoping for. (these are all the pictures I forgot to crop).

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Okay Pretzel! Time to begin to, slowly but surely--

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uhhhh...

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...

Well, whatever, moving on. I did say I would forgive you if your killer got a good level-up. Let's see...

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...no level-ups. Treacherous witch grumble grumble.

And that's almost a wrap! How shall we finish the Prologue?

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Why of course, by giving Athena her well-deserved level-up! (and some chipping exp for Marth, too).

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Holy crap. You're so going to be used when we get you back.

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Now for real, that's a wr-- whoa! Jagen, when did you get back here?

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You've got to hand it to him, viewers, as old and senile as Jagen is, he's still honourable.

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But of course, Marth's a kind little child and forgives Jagen. Not that I think he's wrong, he does raise a fair point. If anything, he should be blaming Pretzel for not noticing the rather obvious hints that something was amiss about Katarina.

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And that will be, if I recall correctly, the last time she'll be mentioned by our protagonists for a long time.

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I don't know. Let's see, we got Sheema, ruler of the most insignificant country in Archanea that isn't even depicted in the maps and that's been a long time enemy of Altea, whose dad Marth killed; Hardin, emperor of a nation so powerful it's named after the continent and an old friend of our protagonist; Minerva, Lorenz, Wendell and Mostyn of Talys, all friends of the Lord; and the king of Aurelis who's also in good terms with him.

...actually, if we look at it this way, Sheema seems to be the most plausible suspect. How interesting.

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Oh god. Here it comes.

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Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh the mage of the 3 defense. That's the guy who'll guard Marth with his life. Marth, you realise that most likely, you will end up taking hits for him, do you?

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You mean another very much sacred induction consisting entirely of Marth telling Pretzel "hey, you're my royal guard now"?

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Oh look I was wrong, they do mention her again. Well, I do believe after this chapter, they don't, until she faces us directly again that is.

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I agree with you here, Marth. Luke would only aggravate the situation.

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And now we get a slideshow of our characters making up excuses on why they're not returning in chapter 1. Est is returning to his husband's side in time to ruin his life.

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Okay, I guess.

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That certainly won't have any importance later on.

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I'll be blunt, Merric, I completely forgot you were here.

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Athena is the only one who's actually going to try and do something about the assasins. We appreciate it, Athena, even if it means we won't see you for a long time.

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I couldn't have said it better, Pretzel.

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Honestly, if I'd lost Est to that Hunter, I doubt we'd have met again. But since I didn't, 3x has become a mandatory chapter.

Not that I would ever have purposely skipped Wrys of all people, mind you.

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Don't be silly. We only have 30~ chapters where he'll be in constant danger of death ahead of us. It's just you, dear.

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O-oh god that face. Pretzel get away from her! She already did this to Roger and Jake and they... actually both fools would have died had she not seduced them into deserting to the enemy. S-still, Pretzel's not an enemy. Don't do that.

Aaaaand that's the Prologue behind us! I... am honestly baffled I didn't lose Est there. I should've lost Est back there. I didn't deserve that lucky dodge after a blunder of such enormous proportions. But still, it happened, and I'm glad it did.

5981b6659c0f3_Barlowe-copia2.png.7700d46eef42cfae7199ec61990183fe.png And now, I think someone needs to retract what he said about me and chapter 3x.

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png You said it yourself, you didn't deserve to win. For all intents and purposes, you've lost. So you should still try to LTC Matthis--

5981e5ba119f7_Barlowearmed.png.0bb2f70581a54d7f37a8d4ca92a72352.png SEEMS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO HIT YOU HARDER!

WHACK

5981b6a0cded1_Ghostalive.png.e65a450183c789807af996c27efc3d3b.png ...how did you miss? I am right here.

5981b6670f8ca_Barlowe-copia3.png.b390f1481449f93f6772fc54e55bb0a3.png ...accursed boring knight. I'll get you one of these days.

And as always, may you fare well until next update.

Edited by Rubenio

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59830b78ef88f_Barlowe-copia.png.9abc5abf00a5ebdd79786daca6a21372.png HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

59830b76d5dd9_Barlowe-copia3.png.3a43d6d254ff5d5c32e17ab39c8cf604.png No, that's not it.

59830b78ef88f_Barlowe-copia.png.9abc5abf00a5ebdd79786daca6a21372.png MWAAAAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAH!

59830b76d5dd9_Barlowe-copia3.png.3a43d6d254ff5d5c32e17ab39c8cf604.png No, no, way too over the top.

59830b7489577_Barlowe-copia2.png.cedec1d739a59e63460a1470778fac46.png Hm hm hm hm hm hm...

59830b76d5dd9_Barlowe-copia3.png.3a43d6d254ff5d5c32e17ab39c8cf604.png Close, but no cigar. Almost sounds like I'm humming some random song. I'm definitely on the right track, that much I'm sure of.

59830b7ae87bd_Ghostalive.png.4f302db29d6e0585a85d7b27fdedbe7d.png What are you doing, old-timer?

59830b7489577_Barlowe-copia2.png.cedec1d739a59e63460a1470778fac46.png Just practicing for when I "accidentally" move you into the range of a dracoknight or three.

59830b7ae87bd_Ghostalive.png.4f302db29d6e0585a85d7b27fdedbe7d.png ...

Part 6 - In which I unlock my true potential as a magnanimous artist.

From now on, I'll be putting a death/reset count at the end of each update. The reason I haven't done so before is that the Prologue was my introduction to both Ironman runs and LPing. I'd like to keep the Prologue as, well, the prologue of this LP, the part where I experimented, encountered problems and found solutions for them, blundered like a fool due to not having adapted my mindset to death being truly permanent just yet, found what kind of style I wanted to go for... what the hell, to be entirely honest with you guys, I didn't think of doing this incredibly basic LP commodity until it was too late. So yeah, starting now, all my deaths/resets will be counted.

And with that, let us begin Marth's second adventure.

Spoiler

Chapter 1

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Exposition! The prologue also had one of these which I skipped because, honestly, it was "just FE1/3 book 1/11". This one, however, does have some new pieces of information.

Besides, this ain't no story-driven LP. You've all come here to waste your time read my questionable humour and watch me kill people with my carelessness.

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Here are, from left to right, Maria and Minerva, some blue haired chick I don't recognise (Catria or Sheeda...?), Marth, Ogma, Hardin and Nyna. They all returned to their own lands as opposed to "disappearing, never to be seen again". That fate is reserved for the edgiest or most boring characters. And Abel.

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Hardin marries Nyna and, becomes the emperor of Archanea and refuses to give up his Arabian Nomad attire. Not until later, at least.

This is our first hint of something being wrong with Hardin, he's very agressive when it comes to restoring countries.

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Doesn't it always?

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And here we go, Grustian Expedition. We'll take control of some boy scouts and deliver cookies around.

Well, no, not in the slightest, but eh. If you replace "boy scouts" with "soldiers" and "cookies" with "death" and "people" with "rebels" and I'm pretty sure "take control" is also wrong in some way...

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More exposition! Here we start to notice a pattern in all of these drawings. Everyone's either facing the other way, or too lazy to go have their hair cut, instead settling for Lowen's style.

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Then Hardin sends us to help supress an alleged rebellion in a peaceful country with a kind and fair ruler who's also a mutual acquaintance of Hardin and Marth, signing as "the Emperor of Archanea" even though he's a good friend of Marth. This all should have, at the very least, made Marth suspect something. But it's Marth. Weak, idealistic children don't ever stop to consider the posibility of people changing.

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And Draug and Gordin, but I can understand why they'd forget about them, march on to Grust.

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No, actually, those assasins in Prologue VIII were really going for your head, Marth.

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Yeah, I think we'll be finding out. Hopefully later than sooner. But we all know what's more likely to happen.

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Eh... heheh... I'll do my best, but I doubt "my best" will do.

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Then Jagen gives us a tutorial on the convoy.

All right, chapter 1. We finally unlock the convoy, which is invaluable, the base armory, which is also nice, and reclassing, which is one of the more love-or-hate features of the DS games. Personaly, I really like it. One of the things that make me love this franchise is the variety. I like to have access to lots of units and classes to make each playthrough unique. And it doesn't get much better than this one, over 60 people and the option of giving them any class along with the Growth Drop to help the few low-growth scrubs is, in my humble opinion, really damn amazing.

This is also why the so-called best GBA FE is, quite honestly, my least favourite despite being my first. FE7 has, at least from my point of view, one of the most restrictive and boring casts (not in personality, though) in the series. You're pretty much forced to always use the same people, not because the alternatives are so bad they're impossible to use, but because there are none! Half of the playable classes have only one growth character and one prepromote to them! One Shaman? One Mage who gets outclassed badly by his sole prepromoted counterpart? One Myrmidon? One Mercenary? And you can't even get both prepromotes of these classes in the same playthrough! One Monk and one Cleric who gets outclassed by the one Valkyrie? And the Bishop stinks?

Then again it's been ages since I last played it. For being so well-regarded, it has way too many issues that put me off.

Anyway, back to FE12.

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We begin by putting those reclassing powers to good use. Ryan becomes Hunter because at this stage it's pretty much "Archer but good" (although he might go Sniper after promoting as the Horseman is weaker than that one. Makes me wonder why didn't they just scrap the whole Hunter class and add a Nomad-like with higher movement but weaker stats than the Archer).

Cecille grabs a staff and some robes and becomes a Cleric. This is because, oddly enough, Cecille has a good magic growth. It's not so good as a Cleric, but if she's ever in need of some magic, I'll make her a Mage. I don't trust her to become a permanent addition to our team, but for the time being, she'll do the job. (and yes, I know about Malicia. I just... really dislike her, sorry).

Arran becomes a General. I believe this is Arran's best class: with that speed and a, quite literally, non-existent speed growth, he'll never ORKO anybody, and 17 defense is pretty much guaranteed invincibility at this point. Hell, he was almost unkillable on maniac! As a general, he'll be useful all the way to Khadein, in my experience.

Lastly, Pretzel becomes a Dark Mage for the extra defense and higher speed growth, both problematic stats for this kid who certainly didn't inherit his father's tankiness.

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I give Arran one of Ryan's bows. He'll make good use of it. Also Cecille needs the basic tools of her new trade, which I buy from the base armory. I will be using it if I have to. I have access to the lunatic statboosters as well, but I won't be buying those, not until much later at least. It feels slightly cheaty to just buy an statbooster at any time I like.

And now, before we go find out why has Grust rebelled, we'll speak with Ryan a little.

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You signed up because you wanted to be like Gordin? Well I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're nothing like him. You're actually sort of good, and didn't die to make way for Norne.

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Yeah, I'm curious as well, as an only child. It was great, not having to share the computer, but now that I'm going to college with absolutely nobody my age to count on... it's kind of awkward.

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Gee, thanks Ryan. Real descriptive. You'd be a great teacher.

"Mr. Ryan, why does 1 + 1 = 2?"
"I don't know, Bobby, mathematics have always been in my life so it's hard to describe them."

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That's better. Yeah, having a brother seems great when they aren't fighting with you. Which, from what I've gathered, means about 5-10% of the time.

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Okay, we're prepared for what's to come. But first, we speak to Lung. Who has Cancer in his possesion. I refuse to believe they didn't do this in purpose (although, considering the wiki says the literal translation of his name would be Rangu...).

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He informs us that Lorenz is the rebel leader. Which means he's the boss.

Blistering barnacles, first chapter and we're already being forced to fight our old allies. Bah, but I'm sure I'll just be able to talk to him.

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Oh boy, here we go. Lang may be an old bastard, but he's very talented when it comes to pounding someone's feelings into the ground.

59830b7ae87bd_Ghostalive.png.4f302db29d6e0585a85d7b27fdedbe7d.png Said the kettle to the pot.

5983469b97d12_Barlowearmed.png.64bc27e9435239351387a97213113534.png

59830b7ae87bd_Ghostalive.png.4f302db29d6e0585a85d7b27fdedbe7d.png Okay, I'm leaving, I'm leaving.

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What a great plan! Marth, understandably, is bewildered by this course of action.

vAgmjGG.pngMAS1Dge.pngaqL0jom.png

Then Lang puts him in his place. I just love how this guy is depicted as a blue unit in the map screen, while Jagen was red in Prologue I. They really want you to believe this guy's going to be a lasting ally.

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Hardin's ominous letter failed to set off any alarms in Marth's mind, but Lang's total lack of talent for subtlety was much too obvious even for him.

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"But sir Jagen, my defenses are lower than his--"
"Shut up! That was an order! AN ORDER!! YOU HAVE ONE JOB, DOUGH HEAD!"

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Finally, we're here! This is our boss. I won't be showing the full maps from now on, but hey, I've always assumed that everyone watching this knows their FE12 anyways.

Lorenz is a really easy boss, not just because we don't even have to fight him.

This is when it occurs to me, one of the things I like best of FE gameplays is to see people's opinions on each unit. Yet, I've completely neglected to do so! I was missing out on another chance to complain about stuff and insult imaginary people!

So here, have a quick rundown on the units we have.

Marth is a capable Lord, in my opinion. No promotion sucks, but it's better to have 30 levels and no promotion, than to have 20 levels and a late-ass promotion that doesn't mean anything because the game's over in the blink of an eye. Statwise, he's a bit of a jack of all trades. Which isn't bad, considering he's usually busy visiting villages and beelining to the throne.

Luke and Rody are our christmas Cavaliers (although we'll be getting the originals, as well). Rody's the green, faster Abel-like Cavalier, while Luke's the strength-based Cain-like. Luke's the best of the duo thanks to his better bases, but Rody's great too.

Cecille is worse than Luke and Rody, having no durability at all and lackluster strength. She makes an okay mage, but her defense plummets to 0 if you reclass her. Not very good, I think.

Ryan is a tank with a bow. He has speed problems, mostly because of his bad base, but his defense is great for an Archer. Not bad, he will be best as General, I believe.

Gordin's your replacement for Ryan, sporting slightly better bases but slightly worse growths. I used him once, and he wasn't too remarkable.

Draug is the "legendary" Knight. Apparently there are rumours of him taking down entire armies on his own. This is all his base conversations are about. He's bad as a Knight, but can make for a good Cavalier. If there was a full-blown on-rails tutorial, I bet they'd be forcing you to reclass Draug so as to show you the benefits of the system, because his starting class is really is one of his worst.

These are all units we had/could've had in the Prologue. Our only truly new unit is Arran. Arran's this game's Jagen except he actually has an excuse to have no growths at all. I really like him as a character, and he's a useful unit. People tend to throw him away when Sirius comes around, and to be honest, they've probably the right idea, but I like Arran too much to just bench him like that. I always try to at least get all of his conversations.

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Here's our first turn: our tankiest units stand on the edge of the enemy range, while Arran moves north to fight absolutely everyone.

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This is why I love General Arran. He takes no damage at all...

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...and doesn't kill the enemy in return, leaving them nicely worn down and ready to be served to our low level scrubs. He's so great, he went as far as to disrespect the Hunter by dodging his arrow in an excessively superfluous fashion.

The others go after Draug and Luke.

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Pretzel finishes Luke's Ruffian, and Ryan shoots Draug's. Here, have some new animations. I liked the GBA Dark Mage better.

0n3wzka.png9XVx7rJ.png

Gordin then shoots the remaining Bandit for Luke to kill. I actually like the Archer's animations better than those of the Hunter. Mainly because, to me, the bow looks better, there aren't many other differences.

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Meanwhile, Arran jeigans the Hunter for his liege.

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Lastly, our favourite dead guy makes himself useful by heading over to retrieve the hidden bullion. I like how the game punishes us for losing units in the prologue by lowering our starting gold, and then just throws 5000 gold at us for free in the first chapter. I suppose they figured LTCing Matthis was a bad enough punishment and decided to throw us a bone.

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Wait, sorry, I was wrong. The gold isn't free, for it is guarded by this fearsome generic Thief.

0yqiKBZ.png
Sadly, he doesn't kill Rody.

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Honestly though, these guys are just awful. The first chapter isn't hard in the slightest.

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Once our phase comes around, Ryan brings down the Hunter Arran had prepared for Marth. You asshole!

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On the bright side, though, now Marth's free to go visit--

Dangit Luke! It's all your fault, somehow!

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Raaaargh! Luke you failure of a man!

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He actually manages to kill the Thief during the enemy phase. The map's there to show you that our army is heading northwest to meet Lorenz's troops.

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And Marth finally manages to visit the village, which I already regret. And not just because of Marth's dubious implications.

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Urgh. Here she is. This girl's whole character is being obsessed with Marth. This basically makes her Faye before Echoes was a thing.

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"Take me with you, and you won't be very glad you did."

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No, I wouldn't like.

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Grumble grumble.

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This is Malicia. She sucks and is an idiot. I inmediately send her over to Cecille so she can give up her staff and be benched until I need her Hammerne utility.

Now for real, she's probably your best healer until the prepromotes come around and completely obsolete them. Hammerne utility and great growths can make up for the crippling flaw of having some of the worst bases in the game. I still don't like to use her, because I dislike her character.

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Commence operation ABE (Arran Baits Everyone)!

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Oh crap, the enemy is using tactics of military deception by distracting me with plot! As promised, Ogma's here on king Talys' orders.

i4MLWKh.pngiR7SnT4.png

Then Lorenz attempts to entrust the Grustian heirs to Ogma.

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But Yumina refuses to leave Lorenz behind, in what would seem to be an annoying move befitting of a spoiled bimbo, but I can understand she doesn't want to lose the closest to a father she's got. Therefore, she gets a pass.

Yubello doesn't say anything because he's not very good at doing much of anything.

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Don't you worry Lorenz, we'll patch you up once you've joined us.

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That certainly sounds like a great idea. C'mon, show some backbone and just take them, Ogma! This is a matter of life and Lang! They'll thank you later!

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But instead, he decides to go murder Lang. That's all right, too, I guess.

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Now that that's over, we can actually commence operation ABE. Ryan and Pretzel will be our artillery.

VCEyKKF.pngcIa23y5.png

It works wonders.

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This is also quite the wonderful sight. Reclassing him was a good idea.

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Also I'd like to point out the attention to detail, Ryan's arrow lost its tip when going through the Bandit. Of course, this implies Ryan is capable of firing an arrow so fast that it can go right through a guy's torso, which is ludicrous, but eh.

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Arran then Jeigan's the Hunter, again disrespecting him by using his bow instead of his lance, as he should have if he'd any need to follow basic FE common sense shenanigans.

arxKtcj.pngUpkThjA.png

And Luke takes the exp cake. Great, that's very good, keep it up.

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Cecille's been healing all this time, and she's finally got her first level. Oh, dear. How do you miss a 85% speed growth?! Did you take my worries about your magic growth to heart? Well don't!

EDIT: Somehow, I managed to go into denial and mistake this absolutely awful level as her getting magic. Yeah. I just noticed while doing preparations for chapter 2 that she still has 1 mag. She's... definitely not staying unless she turns it all around and gets 5 perfect level-ups before Wrys returns.

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Meanwhile, down south, Rody failed to move through the mountain, so Gordin decided to fail as well. Damnit you guys. I send over Malicia to see if she can make it. Thankfully, she can. It would have been a minor inconvenience to be forced to send one of my main dudes back.

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Up north, we kill the last of Lorenz's troops. Only the General himself is left.

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This happens as well. Ryan gets a pass because Hunter has given him a great boost, but still. That's not very good, Ryan. Sufficient, but not good.

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Usually I like to hit Lorenz a couple times to get some exp out of him, but I don't have anybody else close to leveling up, so let's just recruit him already.

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You don't have to, my friend! Join us!

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Yeah, exactly! We know what's going on! Join us!

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They don't waste a single minute before dropping the bomb. Not that there should have been any doubts left after Lang.

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Since Ogma couldn't do it, he's decided to ask us to help-- Marth! Marth, did you seriously fall asleep? Wake up at once! This isn't the time!

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And now you've lost track of what he was saying. Sigh.

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Hey, hey, what's that? Join my team already! You're making me nervous!

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what

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...he's blue now, right?

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Right...?

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...look, money. That always cheers people up.

Pickled herrings, Lorenz, that was uncalled for. Now I will never get a badass old General with an eyepatch.

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I sell the bullion, and buy one of each weapon available in the armory, as well as an extra javelin. It might suck, but it's still 1-2 range for Luke.

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Then I most certainly didn't skip the scene where a civilian rewards us for not stabbing Lorenz by giving us a mend staff. Why in the world would you think such a foolish thing?

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And we meet the royal heirs. Marth is not impressed by Yubello.

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Inmediately, they jump to conclusions and accuse us of killing Lorenz. C'mon, guys. I'm as distraught as you are.

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Oh, hello, Lang. Wait a second.

Ogma! You there? He's here! Come avenge Lorenz!

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Sadly, Ogma never came, giving Lang enough time to inform us of yet another rebellion, this time in Macedon, threaten Marth again and take the kids. I'm not sure, I could have become colourblind all of sudden, but I do believe Lang's blue and the children are red. Please, IntSys. Nobody's going to buy it at this point.

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Marth tries to go after him, forcing Jagen to remind him all we have are level <10 little growth units who can't kill Lang just yet, and Arran who'd waste the experience.

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Another day, Marth. Another day.

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And now we've got an objective. Rescue Minerva so her prepromoted self can go toe-to-toe with the cancerous Lang.

Reset count: 0

Death count: --

And that's a wrap! I fare thee well until next time.

Edited by Rubenio

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59845b275d02a_Barlowe-copia-copia.png.252d99c45eb01a0dac8dd561dc3552ad.png Time for a new update. Let's see the map!

Forest.png.243beba694bd0128a574a931e0755be5.png

59845b2d74938_Barlowe-copia3.png.ca0f51c33896b74925a96433cfcd5ae5.png ...that's... a lot of trees.

59845b2c2b342_Barlowe-copia2.png.a2d0d8b9df479312e8588d2b937ba737.png Well then...

59845d075e856_Barlowearmed.png.6d6f816d3bcc14417b4526b7f73e2a51.png My axe was starting to feel too sharp. Worry not! YOU'LL BE ALL DULL SOON ENOUGH!

59845d2f2376e_Ghostalive.png.ae6dd9b82d87dded778e727268d91d87.png Gah!

59845d075e856_Barlowearmed.png.6d6f816d3bcc14417b4526b7f73e2a51.png Oh, sorry, man. You're usually the target when I start screaming and flinging this thing around. It's just a reflex by this point, I apologize.

59845d2f2376e_Ghostalive.png.ae6dd9b82d87dded778e727268d91d87.png ...

Part 7 - The desert fox.

Spoiler

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That's one depressing picture. They did a good work at making Minerva look completely wrecked.

Which is made even worse by the fact that we had to cross a sea to get there. Well, not even there just yet, we've only made it to the coastal woods. By the time we get to Minerva, she's going to be long since dead.

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Why is this guy influential to begin with, though? I didn't capture it, but they outright state that Minerva banished all the corrupt Generals. So why is this guy still in his post? Did she not have time to kick him out before he took her to the Jail Cell with a Window on the Floor?

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Minerva's got the Hauteclere and two top-tier units by her side. But alas, Cutscene Incompetence.

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Fast? Since when? Using anything other than the slim lance allow even Knights to double them-- oh sorry, wrong game. They're pretty good here.

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I can think of a couple of people off the top of my head.

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And here we have the first of Jagen's Judgements! He'll be telling us how good are our stats. He's got a point here. The Whitewings would all double our not-so-favourite Shaman. Except for Est, but Est's retired so technically she doesn't count.

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And then Anna comes in and engages in conversation with Pretzel, just like that. Oh well. I guess she, at least, does exist in Archanea as opposed to all the other continents where she's just inexplicably there to sell us the boots in Murdock's chapter (although I must admit, I am more fond of making Yodel or Marcus a god of a unit than buying enough boots to max everyone's movement).

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That said, she's only here to give us a tutorial. Gee, thank you truly. That is so useful. I obviously wouldn't have thought of clicking the green, flashing new option in the prep menu.

So yeah, how's everyone, or everyone's conditions, or whatever. A cute little gimmick of this game's, it's a bit like a built-in clicker for the fans of the genre. You let some time pass and then click it, and you get things that can be really useful, but aren't for the most part.

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Case in point. I played up to this point yesterday, so I would have less cropping to do today. Let's hope today's roll comes up trumps. Or at least obamas. Heheheheheheheheheheheheheh. Ahem.

Jeez I couldn't avoid mentioning Trump. Eh, I still consider Spain's Rajoy to be more laughable, albeit less crazy. C'mon, our favourite Orangeboy has nothing on the man who once claimed "the resident is the one who elects the mayor and the mayor is the one who wants the residents to be the mayor", or "Spain is a great nation, and the spaniards, very spanish and much spanish". At least, in my humble opinion.

...I've just doomed my LP to turn into a political flamewar, have I?

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The second round of free stuff is slightly better. Rody's still benched and those boost barely make any difference for Gordin, but at least we got a better vulnerary. Thanks to the last event, it'll take us less time to watch as Arran slowly dies in his conversations.

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Today's reclassings. Arran's a Paladin again because he's got a Thief to catch, and Draug becomes our fastest non-Catria unit. Coupled with his one-chapter strength boost, he'll be good for this chapter, and hopefully many others.

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Here's our starting formation of the day, and our boss. Erwin Rommel Rumel is not very impressive, and drops a weapon nobody short of a Fighter MU could ever possibly use at this point.

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I hit start, the game asks me if I really want to begin, I hit start again, and before we play, Catria comes flying from the opposite direction.

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She informs Marth of Minerva's predicament and asks for his aid. Nothing too out of the ordinary here.

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She also warns us about Rumel and his Dragons lurking around the forest. Catria, Rumel's the least frightening obstacle this chapter has to offer. The silver sword Cavaliers and the Thief are more of an issue.

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At last! First things first...

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Cord! My favourite of the original axe trio. For some reason I like him better than Barst.

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He's here to aid us. With his plethora of E ranks that'll make the enemy laugh as they see him approach with a measly iron axe, before he teaches them a lesson on forges. Psychological warfare is the name of Cord's game. Much like Draug and reclassing, if this game had a forced tutorial, I'm pretty sure they'd make you forge an iron axe for Cord.

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Very well. Let's review our new units.

Catria's often considered one of the best units in the game, and for good reason. Her growths are some of the best in the game, comparable to Chad's from FE6 (and he couldn't promote), her bases are decent, and she's got amazing availability. I've never used her mostly because her character and appearance don't interest me that much (in a nutshell, she's "Sheeda except blander and couldn't get Marth for herself", as far as I know), but she's good.

Cord has well-balanced growths, but his merely average bases and E ranks everywhere hurt him. Still, if you use him, he should turn out fine.

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With that out of the way, allow me to mark the Hunter squad. We got another character in need of recruitment between them, and I'd rather not lose Catria before she can talk some sense into him.

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Like so. She'll hang out on the edge of their range of instadeath until we can be sure we'll be able to safely take out the two faceless Hunters.FifIlY8.pngDj87OGI.png

Everyone else follows her north, except for Arran who's heading northwest to prevent the Thief from stealing the lady sword that rightfully belongs to us.

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The enemy mirrors our movements, down to the Thief replicating Arran's.

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Next turn, we move Catria out of the way, because we're still a tad too far away for confort.

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Close enough to initiate the attack by killing one of the Hunters, though.

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Everyone else follows her north, except for Arran who's heading northwest to prevent the Thief from stealing the lady sword that rightfully belongs to us.

...for some reason I'm getting this feeling of deja vu right now. How peculiar.

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Arran might excell as General, but he's still great as Paladin.

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To the east, Warren shoots Cord, who'd already taken an arrow from the remaining generic. He'll live, but he's still cutting it closer than I'd like. Cord's beginning really is weak.

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Back here, the Thief decided it was a great idea to just stop to catch his breath right next to Arran. You'll regret your decision, little man.

Two of the newly spawned reinforcement Cavaliers are heading over to help him out, but they're too late.

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For it is time for Arran to show off his peerless skills at low-percent critting.

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And back to the east side. Hope you guys aren't feeling nauseous. I believe it is time for Catria to have a friendly chat with Warren.

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Catria proceeds to try Sheeda's patented method of guilt trapping the enemy.

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Guys I think this guy would go as far as to hunt species in danger of extinction. Are we sure we want him in our side?

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Catria continues her assault on the Hunter's heart by telling him that Rucke is a very ugly, greedy idiot.

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That does it. Maybe Rucke supports the protection of wildlife.

Anyway, Warren is an unfortunate unit. He's better than Gordin, but has speed problems and his defense is mediocre. He's just throughoutly boring. I honestly think I'll use Jeorge over him or Gordin, when if Ryan dies.

Or Tomas. Tomas is awesome. No kidding, he almost kills the avatar thrice, that's commendable in my book.

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In any case, Malicia heals Cord. I still dislike her. Will probably just bench her once the greatest lightbulb man arrives.

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Inmediately, we take care of the last of his squad. Catria can now fly freely.

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As well as one of the soldiers. If I was able to, I'd have made the archer brothers tag team to kill someone so I could comment on how the archer brothers are tag teaming to kill someone. But Gordin is a slowpoke, so we have to settle for just generaly flinging pain around with no rhyme or reason.

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This is the aftermath of the turn. It might seem like it, but we're not out of the woods yet, neither figuratively nor literaly: a couple cavaliers are heading our way.

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But thanks to my extremely intelligent formation, each of our units only take one hit at a time.

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Also, Arran is under attack by one of the silver sword Cavalier which is pretty much the best thing that could've happened. These guys can be nasty if they reach scrubs like Cord, Catria or Pretzel.

Yes, I did speak of guys, plural. There are two of them. Where is the second one, you may be wondering?

2vXeeaF.png

He's close enough for us to kill him. Things are going too well. C'mon, I was expecting to lose more people! This is starting to get boring! I'll have to end up resorting to kill off Rody!

59845d2f2376e_Ghostalive.png.ae6dd9b82d87dded778e727268d91d87.png Why is my death the only solution to this failure of an LP being boring?

59845b2c2b342_Barlowe-copia2.png.a2d0d8b9df479312e8588d2b937ba737.png Because along with bitching about Luke and being scared of having to LTC Matthis, that's all we've been doing so far. And we can't do those two anymore, so...

59845d075e856_Barlowearmed.png.6d6f816d3bcc14417b4526b7f73e2a51.png Shall we get started?

59845d2f2376e_Ghostalive.png.ae6dd9b82d87dded778e727268d91d87.png Sigh.

aoiy1Ma.pngJ6jr0l9.png

The silver bros should have never split apart. They learn this lesson the hard way.

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The last of the soldiers is stabbed to death by our Lord, and...

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I don't know who this guy is, but he's certainly here. And dead, as well.

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There's one more Cavalier harassing Arran. I'd rather he didn't take too much experience, so I place Catria here to pull him away from Jeigan.

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Like so.

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Only Rumel's Dragon Knight squad remains.

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One more turn of healing, and we commence Operation ABE II!

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Hey, Dragon Knight!

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Bye, Dragon Knight!

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Ryan, that's... that's awful.

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Rumel is next, and this time...

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I realised too late that I could have lost Arran to a bullshit crit right here. 'Twas not to be, thankfuly.

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Look Gordin can't OHKO the boss. Good, he's a chipping-worth of exp away from leveling up.

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Better, but just barely.

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And Luke finishes the desert forest fox up.

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For having a name referential to one of the most famous figures in WWII, he certainly is a damn boring throwaway boss.

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I do profit from his death. Luke is showing everyone else up thus far. Damnit Luke, you're going to surpass Frey and I won't have any reason to use him.

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Malicia still has 4 speed.

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Surprisingly enough, Arran gets a level after the conclusion of Operation ABE II. A very Arran level, considering Arran's got the second lowest growths of any Jeigan in the series, just barely losing to FE1 Jagen as far as I know, with flat 0 personal growths everywhere but his luck, which is 10. Even FE11 Jagen had some more 10s and 20s.

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Anyway, Ryan uses his iron bow to chip this guy down for Marth to snuff him out.

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Bleh. Still, this contributes to Marth getting enough speed not to get doubled by Wyverns, which is his main objective during the first part of the game.

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And that's it! We've overcome the Macedon Korps. Who could this be?

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It's Linde! She's gone from being the latest mage, to being the earliest. And also pretty much the best natural unpromoted mage in the game, thanks to her being female and having instant access to aura, which she also brings! I'll talk more about her next chapter.

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Eh, I don't know, she wasn't so good in the last war.

tqzDMQV.pngFYyjdnZ.png

Well isn't this convenient.

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And now we have a MacGuffin.

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Marth raises a good point. You've anything to say in this matter, Linde?

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Of course, it's way to early for us to be given answers.

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Wow wow wow. Lorenz is dead, Hardin's out of his mind, Minerva's AWOL, but Nyna crying is what distresses you? What the hell, Marth? Are you insane?

Oh, my apologies, I'd forgotten.

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Reset count: 0

Death count: --

 

Edited by Rubenio

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5985d05036f90_Barlowe-copia-copia.png.4b639a04098e5ed4275b59163f0ceb1d.png The time has come. Thanks to my excellent performance in the Prologue, I won't have to LTC this chapter.

5985d07d4aff8_Ghostalive.png.7604450eda1facb0860dce685e4f1afc.pngFire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__4836.png.bea3f14204088b106893b5f837ef9287.png

5985d053610dd_Barlowe-copia3.png.aa20736f5195488ad79c84b73d64e83c.png Why are you still alive?

5985d05182e60_Barlowe-copia2.png.292064e56f975a75bebee1813b3080f7.png Oh, right. I'm just waiting for the perfect occasion to make your death entertaining.

5985d07d4aff8_Ghostalive.png.7604450eda1facb0860dce685e4f1afc.png ...either that, or you are bad even at having people killed.

5985d053610dd_Barlowe-copia3.png.aa20736f5195488ad79c84b73d64e83c.png You are worse than Matthis.

Part 8 - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Warning: this update contains graphic violence that might disturb some. Viewer discretion is advised.

(mostly I was bored and decided to throw in a few edits. Tell me what you think).

Spoiler

FAnhNlR.png

We're already at the doorsteps of Rucke. These early story arcs just keep coming and going. I prefer to consider everything up to Lang as, well, the Lang story arc, considering all of this is his doing.

elQVkUn.png5Dt5io4.png

More exposition. I always thought Iote was a girl. It's been a while since I paid any attention to the story.

gt7l6iF.pngMksfZQl.png

Dolhr is similar to "dolor", spanish for "pain". Quite fitting, wouldn't you say?

BHnULHC.pngLDZyzX7.png

And then came the tragedy. Michalis wasn't exactly a good guy, though, so...

Minerva would truly be a regretable loss, though, so let us be sure to rescue her.

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And then moooooooooooooooooooooooooore avatar praising. Stop it Jagen! This is the reason noone likes this game's take on book 2!
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Actually, I think we can. Skill is pretty much the least important stat other than strength for mages.

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Oh. Wow. Thanks, Jagen. I wasn't expecting you to comply.

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Holy shit, Jagen, that was savage. Poor Pretzel's got enough problems already now that Linde and her superior tomes he can't use are here.

Anyway, before doing anything else, we need to have a word with Arran.

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Yeah, I'd like to know, as well.

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Take your time, Arran. Or perhaps your ears have stopped working now, as well...?

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Hush, Pretzel. He's thinking about it.

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Oh dear.

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Do something Pretzel! Get Mal--

I mean get Ceci--

...

Crap Arran's done for.

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Oh. Okay then. That's... that's okay I suppose.

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I have served two masters ergo I cannot tell you what it means to be a knight? I understand where he's coming from but his explanation doesn't make much sense.

Then again he almost coughed his brain out a minute ago. It's perfectly comprehensible.

VHjiX2l.pngp1sdsho.png

Too bad. I'll try to make sure you do before dying.

yslNbEl.pngBJRBtfV.png25jA9N0.png

Anyway, yesterday's free crap. We got the joke lance, exp for Cecille which is all right, and the joke tome. Or is it? Nope! The joke tome is "ember" and deals 1 damage like the other joke weapons. This one, however, is a fire tome that trades 10 hit for 10 crit and half the durability. It also has a nice looking animation. Not too shabby, we can use that at this point of the game.

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Reclassing. Arran hops back into his heavy armor and Gordin gets some more stats. He's still inferior to Ryan, but he'll do as a filler for a few more chapters.

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I also buy a standard fire tome for Linde. I'll have to replace Pretzel's soon, as well, but since we got that sleet, he might as well have it.

While we're at it, let's talk about Linde a bit. She comes with two awesome but rare tomes and the ability to use them from the get-go. That, alone, gives her some early utility.

As a unit, she's incredibly fast and lucky, but her defenses leave a lot to be desired, and her magic growth is a bit on the low side. Then again, everyone in this game has low magic growths aside from an accordingly set up MU and Malicia, and Malicia would need some time to reach Linde's tome rank. Her defenses are, really, her biggest issue. Nosferatu doesn't last forever, and if I am not mistaken, there are only two or three tomes available, and they're both obtained rather late into the game. Her magic, too, can give her some trouble. But still, she's the best natural mage, if only because she's female and comes in early.

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Much like last chapter, I was able to do another round of these, which turned out to be considerably worse. Joke axe, a useless potion and bonuses for a unit I'm not going to use. Amazing. It's a good thing this game's convoy has space for 200 items instead of the usual 100.

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And we begin! Here's Palla. She's heading to the northeastern corner of the map.

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She's here to keep Julian up to date on our latest asskickery.

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Sadly, he can't just leave because his lovebird is gone. Nothing noteworthy so far.

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Nooooothing noteworthy so far.

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He does seem more cool-headed than he was last war, at least.

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Anyway, here's our intel of the day. Palla's starting position would be really bad if she didn't fly and wasn't OP. Also, Rucke is in a bit of an unfortunate position in that it is more or less impossible to reach him without slaughtering his entire guard beforehand. Some bosses would really benefit from moving.

Before we begin, let's talk about our new unit. Palla is perhaps the best non-MU unit in the entire game. She's got amazing bases, a high enough level to instapromote if you need an early nuke option (Arran isn't fast enough in higher difficulties to do that sort of thing), amazing growths in everything not called speed (they're better suited for a Dragonknight promotion than they are for Falcoknight)... she's just broken.

And unlike Catria, I actually like her enough to use her!

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With that out of the way, it is time to work. Here's the ballista range. Better keep our squishies clear of that.

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While we do absolutely nothing interesting down south, Palla intercepts this Thief before he can go raid Julian's village.

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Marth gets shot.

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And Palla wastes some more uses of her silver lance fighting a Cavalier. Only one of these spawn in the first turn of reinforcements, but from now on they'll come in pairs. Palla can take it in hard, but I'd rather not let her take all this good experience. She's tied with Pretzel for the highest leveled unit in my team, not counting Arran.

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Strategically dodging the Dracoknights, as their time has not yet come, Palla flees to the west.

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Meanwhile, we keep moving forward. This chapter is really tedious. If only there were some enemies down here, it would've been more interesting.

I also visit the village for the bridge key. I won't use it, but I like having it. You never know when 150 gold can be useful.

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Hello there. Who are you?

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Oh my gosh it's Michalis!

Too little major characters died in Shadow Dragon. Michalis is the first example of that.

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A trifle?! You got stabbed multiple times! Depending on the player's choices, by your own sisters too! They better have an explanation for this.

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Don't you pull an Ephraim now, Michalis.

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Yeah, please do. It'll make our lives easier.

...on second thought, please don't. That man is a walking pile of exp waiting to be collected.

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Holy crap she does look bad.

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What do you think, Michalis?

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And then he leaves with her sister in tow. Never to be seen again for many chapters.

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Anyway, more boring movement. Palla heals her injuries while we keep circling the lake.

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And... then we move some more.

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An army of Cavaliers is closing in on Palla. We'll prepare a welcoming party for them.

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But first, recruitment shenanigans!

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Simple. Bord is the second of the many units that were missing in book 2 but were shoehorned in FE12, the first being Cord. As you might've noticed, they're both relegated to saying a few lines in their recruitment scene and then forever remain irrelevant.

I think IntSys realised this game was their last chance of ever giving the Archanean characters some dialogue, and that's why they added almost everybody that wasn't present in the original mystery of the emblem.

And then refused to release it in the west, because fuck those stupid 'muricans and the like.

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Anyway, I'm skipping some turns here. This is our strategy to face the Cavaliers: Arran will choke the bridge while Linde bombards the enemy from behind him.

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Like so. Two nicely jeiganed Cavaliers worth of exp for Linde to claim.

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These are two different screenshots.

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Astounding! She's in the team.

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A few turns of that later, we get ready to face the Dracoknights.

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We're ready. Come!

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...

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No other way, we need to be the ones to begin the hostilities. It actually makes me a little nervous, if all the Dracoknights go after Palla they'll kill her.

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Why was I worried, again?

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Bah. And you were doing so well.

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Bah! Why?

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Anyway, Cecille got strength and nothing else when she tried to take up the staff, so I took the hint and reclassed her back to Cavalier, which I completely failed to screencap.

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Not too bad. I would appreciate some strength and defense, and the middle column is kind of a given when it comes to Cecille, but what she really, desperately needs is HP so I'm fine with this.

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Then I try to chip this guy for Linde, but Marth decides he needs the experience more. Damnit Lu-- Marth! You didn't even get a level.

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And then we jump right to Julian. Why, you might ask? Because, my friend, there is nothing, and I quite literally mean nothing, but walking and walking and more walking between these two screencaps!

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How strange indeed. And Julian was not one of the guys that was cut from the original book 2!

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We get some more details on our cleric snatcher. Seems like it was some kind of priest.

Gee, I wonder who it could be. Wendell?

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Wait a minute, when did you find that out? I can't remember anybody telling you that. Palla was nowhere near you!

Then again, it's common sense that Maria would go missing in all this chaos. After all, she's the only one left in the royal family after Michalis' "death" and Minerva's overthrow.

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Whatever the case, Julian tags along.

Julian is the game's best Thief, which isn't saying much because he begins with an E rank in pretty much the worst weapon type to have an E rank on. And he can't reclass, which is quite inconvenient. Still, he's better than his replacement, whom he recruits.

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Commence Operation ABE III!

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Honestly, all Arran needs is HP and defense. All his other stats are too low for him to be able to make any use out of the occasional level-up.

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I let the map stay in this screencap to show you that we've 4 Dracoknights to take care of. And two more that stayed behind! This map can be tricky if you're not careful. Although it is way worse in Maniac where the aggro patterns are incomprehensible.

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Ryan got this. It seems he got angry I switched him to Hunter and decided to get enough defense to match his old sniper self. As well as no speed at all for the same purpose.

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We slaughter one of the Dracoknights and heavily injure the remaining two.

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Man, Julian, you're so weak. Predictably, he kills the guy, but is hit in the process. I'll have to heal him. Malicia?

...Malicia?

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Where in the world could that bumbling bimbo be?

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Bah, we'll worry about that later. Cecille's lady sword access will help her until she can improve her stats. She's a little behind thanks to me neglecting her in chapter 2.

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HP. Good enough.

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And here come the other two Dracoknights! I placed Luke to shield Cecille beforehand.

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Some chipping later...

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...if I were smart, I wouldn't risk this. Sure, it's a really high chance of hitting, but if it were to fail, we'd lose our chance to get the good ending, just like that.

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But, fuck it, gotta make it interesting somehow. God knows this chapter is in a desperate need of that.

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Sufficient. But sufficient isn't good enough for you, Julian! Your HP is really bad.

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And down go the last Dracoknights.

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Oh please.

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I wait for Malicia to get her slow self back here before advancing. She proceeds to get this level. "wow cleric defense! 10/10 unit". Except she still has 4 speed.

Honestly, I can understand why LTCers love this chick, and Hammerne is indeed invaluable but, honestly, her bases are so awful I wouldn't ever use her as a frontline mage. She's just a Hammerne bot, and if they didn't force that restriction down my throat, she'd be benched the second I got Wrys back. At least his bases don't suck as hard.

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Commence Operation ABE IV!

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As usual, it works wonders. All the Cavaliers move up to attack us. Matthis is the one at the rear. Julian can reach him, but I'm not quite ready to recruit him yet.

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So Arran just shoots an arrow at this guy, and we'll try to wait for Matthis to position himself in a more convenient spot for us.

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Wait, isn't he...

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Argh. This is why everyone hates Matthis.

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FE1, FE3, FE11, FE12. It does not matter. Matthis NEVER stops to think his moves over in any of the games he is in. Hell, in Shadow Dragon he goes as far as to attack his damned sister while praying to see her one more time before dying! I think he'd be hated a little less if they'd programmed her to at least not attack Lena in 11 or Julian in this one.

Still, at least he attacked Arran. Linde wouldn't kill him either, but would hurt him much more.

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New plan, since Matthis wants to attack Arran, we'll make it easier for him.

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Yeah, please, if you keep this up, you're going to die, and we wouldn't want that, right...?

...right...?

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Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

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You know, everyone loves to hate Matthis for various reasons. But I honestly can understand where he's coming from here. Sure, Julian's a good man and on our team, but he's still a Thief, one of the Thieves who kidnapped Lena no less, even if he later betrayed them to free her. It's somewhat understandable that Matthis would have trouble trusting him.

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Very well, now we have Matthis on our side. The guy everyone hates for being an idiot. My opinion is that the guy's just an everyday idiot in the wrong place at the wrong time. Twice. And still, you have to hand it to him, he could've just left after Marth rescued him, but he still decided to fight alongside him because he believed that was the right thing to do. Twice!

As a unit, Matthis is bad. He's the worst Cavalier in the game. Even the Sabre Knights are better than him. He just doesn't have anything going for him. His bases are laughable, his recruitment, while not Wolfguard levels of aneurism-inducing, is still really tedious, and his growths, other than a disproportionately high HP growth, are bad. He doesn't even get any favouritism, for the most part.

Maybe I'll give him the growth drop and use him, just to make my LP a little more unique. I mean, it's not like anyone's ever used Matthis.

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In any case, he retreats because his 4 HP won't let him do jack without crumbling down and dying, and we start to kill the rest of his squad.

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There they go. And now we begin to move south to end Rucke and his Ballistician.

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Our units take some bolts before I can move everyone into the safe spot next to the Ballistician.

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Linde arrives first and starts to wear him down.

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This is how things end up looking like. I left Arran in Rucke's range accidentally, but honestly, at this point, I can afford to just move Arran wherever, he's never going to die.

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Going down with you we won't, I apologize.

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Linde finishes the Ballistician and... god damnit Linde! You've even worse defenses than Pretzel, and you can't go Dark Mage to save your life!

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Malicia then gets this. Hey at least now she might not get doubled by Cavaliers.

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Marth chips this guy down for a couple turns and... sheesh! What's with the crappy levels!? I haven't gotten any good levels since Linde got magic all those dozens of turns ago!

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Anyways, a well-placed fireball leaves Rucke with one foot in the grave...

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And Cecille then stabs his other foot right out.

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"As I expected"? Weren't you so shocked the Altean army was here?

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Awesome! This is awesome. I would've never expected Cecille would be the one to save this update from ending in a bad note level-wise. And now we have Taurus, our first starshard and a mighty decent one at that.

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I buy some steel weapons at the armory, and we're done!

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What...

Damnit Luke! Why didn't you tell me pressing start to skip the "map clear!!" sign would also skip the outro of the chapter!?!

5985d07d4aff8_Ghostalive.png.7604450eda1facb0860dce685e4f1afc.png Don't blame Luke, you're the one who's played this game multiple times. You should have known by know.

5985f68525277_Barlowearmed.png.3c9b0ab0732eb6e09f4f301805443c99.png I think somebody would like to get a new hat! May I recommend THE AXE?!

5985d07d4aff8_Ghostalive.png.7604450eda1facb0860dce685e4f1afc.png ...don't you think this is getting old?

5985f68525277_Barlowearmed.png.3c9b0ab0732eb6e09f4f301805443c99.png NOPE!

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Thank IntSys for the event recap.

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It even has Pretzel instead of the stock MU!

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Thanks, Lang. But know that I hate to be forced to thank you for anything.

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Then he asks us to do even more things for him. We retrieve Yumina and Yubello and send them back to Lang. What could possibly go wrong? Let's do that!

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I think my sarcasm was obvious enough, Marth, but you're free to just say it, I suppose.

That said, Lang seems to be getting tired of your shit.

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Then again, even when he's not blinking his eyes are barely visible.

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Pretzel, please, stay out of this. The grown ups are talking. I wouldn't want you delaying Jagen's best scene in the entire game.

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Hohohohoh. Marth is the one who's gotten tired of somebody's shit!

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And because Marth said that one phrase, Lang inmediately jumps to conclusions like a tinfoil hat wearing, conspirationist fool and states we sent Ogma after him. Well, I mean, technically speaking, we didn't but--

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Exactly! Marth, you're doing well. If only Elice could see you now. Maybe she wouldn't shit-talk you so much behind your back.

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And then they engage in a "I will report you to Hardin!" threats duel. The duel concludes in a stalemate because...

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Jagen has grown impatient.

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MADAFAKIN' JAGEN WILL WEAR YOU DOWN AND FEED YOU TO OUR LOWEST LEVELED SCRUB, BITCH!

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And then Lang flees. Holy crap this guy's a coward. Come now, Lung Cancer, step up your game. Not even Matthis would have just scrammed like that!

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No kidding, you just stole the spotlight from a Mary Sue. That takes talent.

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Yeah, all things considered, I don't know if you could've beaten him, if you still have your Prologue I boss stats. Although he would've been obliterated before he could even hope to kill you, considering there was only one of him and a lot of us.

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And now we got a new mission. Visit Wendell and find Ogma!

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Nah, I bet he'll just cease to exist.

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But before we do that... we'll pursue a flimsy lead concerning the assasins we haven't seen in a year!

Reset count: 0 Awesome! I hope I can keep this up.

Death count: --

Edited by Rubenio

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59875777b3df7_Barlowe-copia-copia.png.49302ee8d09b0bcf637d32de7053625f.png Hey, Luke!

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__328sad7.png.a12ddcf9904fbdb76c1c3c9c485915a5.png What? You're gonna complain about me again?

5987577912a95_Barlowe-copia2.png.da6ca513ceaf9b40b6b85cd464826422.png No, not in the slightest. You see, I just thought you'd like to know, our next mission will be to save a helpless cleric!

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__328sad7.png.a12ddcf9904fbdb76c1c3c9c485915a5.png Damn straight I'm interested. Who's the girl?

5987577912a95_Barlowe-copia2.png.da6ca513ceaf9b40b6b85cd464826422.png The name's Wrys. Ring any bells?
Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__328sad7.png.a12ddcf9904fbdb76c1c3c9c485915a5.png ...I refuse to participate in this mission.

59875777b3df7_Barlowe-copia-copia.png.49302ee8d09b0bcf637d32de7053625f.png Bwah hah hah hah hah! Come now, Luke, there's no need to be timid. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.

598758118863f_Ghostalive.png.e31ad421749c74ccc7a030cda3d9ae2c.png Maybe you should try sticking to your own rules before you go mocking others.

5987577a6a94a_Barlowe-copia3.png.ede637a37d4aaaef85ba393915dfcf90.png Rody, please do tell me, because I seem to have forgotten. Who, exactly, asked for your opinion?

598758118863f_Ghostalive.png.e31ad421749c74ccc7a030cda3d9ae2c.png ...

Part 9 - Shame.

So you might be wondering, what is this all about? Well, let me tell you a little story.

Today, I went hiking with a friend. I wouldn't have gone, but everyone else bailed and well, she didn't want to go alone and I didn't want to let her down. First, I had to wake up early. That wouldn't have been such an issue if I wasn't on holiday sleeping 10 hours a day, so the abrupt change of schedule was awkward to say the least. It also just so happened that I couldn't catch any proper sleep last night for some reason.

Moreover, I severely understimated the difficulty of the route, and since I don't have any sport clothing that isn't way too warm for this time of the year, I just went for my usual unconfortable jeans, thinking it wouldn't be too hard.

The result, when I got back home, I was tired as hell and my entire lower body hurt like I'd bathed in a pool of rusty nails. I tried to take a nap, but I am the kind of person who can't take a nap during daylight to save their life. And to top it all off, I have my driving exam tomorrow, so I knew I'd have to get out of bed and go study at some point.

Now, if this was any other chapter, I would've said "fuck it, I'll give the guys at the forum their update another day". But since it was "just a cute little gaiden", I decided to go for it.

Why did I tell you this story? Mostly, it's my excuse for resetting. Because, yes, I broke the rules for real this time. Between the exhaustion and the pain, I didn't think my moves out (I really didn't think anything at all throughoutly), and lost Cecille in the first turn. And, you know, I would've pressed on without her, but then I realised I'd also forgotten to move Wrys, like a jackass. And, of course, he died. And I believe if I continued, there would have been even more casualities, Matthis would've most likely fallen as well before the enemy even turned their attention to Marth. Even if I managed to beat the chapter at all, it would've been abusing Arran and wasting away all of my nosferatu charges.

At first I thought of just lying like a bastard and move on. But, honestly, if I am to choose, I'd rather remember this LP as a failure than as a big lie. I don't think anybody was expecting this to be professional or anything, anyways. My sole intention is that my deaths are the result of a strategy not working as intended, or my luck failing me, or me making a mistake even after thinking everything through because something unexpected happened. A slideshow of stupid mistakes because I tried to play when I clearly wasn't up to the task would, in my humble opinion, just suck.

So, considering the situation, I decided to go for another solution. I'll add a "dishonorable reset" counter at the end. I will NOT be using this as an excuse to just breeze though this as your run-of-the-mill reset run, but as more of an insurance for this kind of situations where I try to do the best for the LP, but it ends up being the worst.

...seriously though, me, you're such an idiot, couldn't you have waited a day? Tell me what you guys think about this. After my exam, I'll hopefully have the rest of the month free. With any luck, it'll be enough to finish this without any more cop-outs on my part.

Anyway, have an update. Oh, and one last thing, for reasons that should be obvious if you've read that wall of text, I most likely won't be updating tomorrow. I'm truly sorry for all this.

Spoiler

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Our first gaiden. And pretty much the most irrelevant. Or it would be, if Wrys wasn't in it.

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This is a trend of these gaidens. Marth, Jagen and Pretzel have almost nothing to say before the prep screen.

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Yesterday's giveaway. If only I'd stopped here.

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As well as today's, which turned out considerably better. Exp for Pretzel's good because he isn't coming to this chapter, Linde's boost is good because she's coming to this chapter, and even though Cecille, unlike our very much Original Character, is coming along, more exp is never to be frowned upon.

How ironical that the dead guy found the most useless thing. The res potion wouldn't be so useless if it stacked with the barrier staff / pure water. But it doesn't. I wouldn't be so smug if I were you, Rody.

Anyway, let's have a chat with Ryan. Arran's not ready to speak with us again yet.

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Oh. I'm so sorry, Ryan.

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Aw, that's so sweet.

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I believe you, Pretzel.

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Cut it out, Pretzel, that is quite enough.

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...can't you just shut up? You're scaring me.

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No, no, don't answer, Pretzel. Just nod.

Oh, look, somebody else is here. Who could it be?

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Pretzel I do believe we should be heading out to help Wrys right about now.

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Oh god, she's a feminazi as well? I didn't remember this!

Before someone gets mad at me, I respect feminists. You know, the ones who seek justice. But these men-haters are just not worth respecting. Okay? Don't come to argue with me, please, I'm not in the mood.

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Sheesh, Malicia. If only you had more personality than this. That's why I like Arran. Sure, being ill is a big part of his personality, but it isn't everything. Or Matthis, Matthis also has two or three traits to his name. They're not the deepest characters in history of fiction, but they're good for a FE game. Malicia is just a boring one-note character through and through, in my opinion of course.

Hell, as much as I like joking about Wrys, even he has more of a personality than miss "I LUV MARF". At least she develops somewhat at the very end of the game.

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Malicia please, Marth can't reclass.

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How about we wait until she passes away and then we hold it in hell so she can see you in all your dressed glory? I'll send you there myself!

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Rrgh.

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You are so getting benched after this chapter.

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Sooooooooo getting benched.

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No comment.

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Yeah, please, let us leave. I don't think we want to be here when she starts to fing--

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Look, something else! I'll be using the Growth Drop as promised. I'm not sure if I'll ever use the Bond Drop, but it doesn't hurt to have it. I won't be taking the Rainbow Potion. I'd like at least one of the rules to remain unbroken.

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Today, we reclass only one person. Everyone's least favourite buffoon will be taking our Growth Drop. I hope I'll be able to turn him into something great. His growths as Mercenary should certainly make that a possibility.

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And we begin! Fret not, Wrys, we're coming for you. It would be such a shame if you died and I had to keep using Malicia.

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And here is palette swap Louise who's being very villainous as usual.

Seriously though, this piece of dialogue belongs to the throwaway, cartoonish villain.

RDuWdId.pngnm5sYLd.png

I don't know, Clarisse, the top-tier veterans have already joined us, and Sirius certainly wasn't our ally last war.

That said, I agree the loss of Wrys would be crippling for the cause.

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And here we have Kleine's paranoia moments! Today, we witness Kleine as she accuses Eine of falling in love with us after she warned her of our strength.

...really, Kleine? Really?

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Yeah, I think Katarina is also dying on the inside a little.

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First of all, Wrys has to get the hell outta there. I wouldn't want to lose you again.

IS3h0mJ.png1EIhpCG.pngnKAirvZ.png

And this is the strategy. Arran will tank, Linde will equip nosferatu in case somebody attacks her, and Matthis will distract one of the Knights or something.

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Like so. Oh god 3% crit I regret everything already.

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And then Linde just kills everyone because I gud at planin.

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Oh well. No regrets, this chapter is an okay place to use this.

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Marth weakens the Knight just enough for Matthis to commence his journey towards being a great unit. On second thought, maybe this was pretty much the worst chapter to train him on, but I wouldn't want him falling behind.

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Wrys keeps running for his life. He can take a lance to the face, but nothing else.

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And then Kleine just runs away like the villain she is. Narcian much, milady?

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Wrys keeps running. Cutting it close there, my man.

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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal close.

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But it matters not, for Palla has already arrived to the rescue. With the archer gone, Wrys is now out of danger.

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I ensure the reinforcements don't do anything unexpected and kill Matthis before he can prove his worth to the world those 30~ guys who read my thread.

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As it turns out, we were a turn early, so I just move Palla forward to cover Wrys, and heal her.

RKQUmm7.pngIW3vhqf.png

What was I thinking? That 3 crit could've been disastrous.

Eh, at least this time I was thinking.

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Anyway, Arran jeigans the knight and...

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Urgh. Baby steps, Matthis. Baby steps.

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Good.

GkGehtB.pngkNmKkBH.png

Just in case, I move Marth on top of the fort. I also disarm Palla, because I'd like to feed that Knight to Linde.

Y4wi7Rf.pngLGOlDOS.png

Sheesh Linde, you need to get some magic. That one level won't last you forever.

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Matthis heals, again just in case someone else comes out of the fort.

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After waiting a couple turns, I decide no reinforcements are going to appear, and move east. Commence Operation ABE V!

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Excellent, this kill will give Matthis his first level.

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...oh. Arran doubles them.

Gee, Kleine, these are some elite troops you left here to bring us down. Crème de la crème. I'm crapping my pants.

I'm not exactly in any position to mock anybody, but eh. It's all I can do, after all.

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This time, I make sure Arran doesn't kill the Knight.

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And in a couple of turns, Matthis finishes him off.

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Excellent! Marvelous! Incredible! I knew I did well to trust you, Matthis. A few more like these and you might just become our MVP.

fwl75kB.png

But Wrys, as usual, shows everyone up.

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And that's a wrap! Marth and company still have nothing to say. Yeah, we should go to Wendell's already.

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Gee, I wonder if you could have done anything to help if you stayed behind?

AkFQDIU.pngam6sWwJ.png

She's just warning you, you imbecile. You stated that exact same thing right before she did!

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And then she accuses Katarina of planning to betray Lady Eremiah, whoever that is. Of course. All she did was give you a piece of advice, calm down.

...why am I defending Katarina, though?

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Whatever, it is time for more important stuff.

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I dunno, man, I think it looks just like last year.

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I suppose that is a way to put it.

Wait, is he implying that he isn't actually bald, but shaven?

59876e5f8e354_DashingWrys.png.8e6da92aad403772c72cd1d13eb777ef.png

Wow. Amazing.

telyQz1.pngnYDdQVl.png

Pick your choice, then.

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Honestly, I think it looks absolutely awful. But it's up to you.

Dishonorable resets: 1

Reset count: 0

Death count: --

 

Edited by Rubenio

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Once again, the old hair is best.

I'd suggest possibly having a later penalty for every dishonorable reset, but that would be a bit hard, don't you Think?

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LghVj9q.png Time for continue Marth's quest. Let us see the latest chapter. Early bandit map? Eh, shouldn't be very remarkable--

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ZyMLR0k.png Argh! My eyes! There's too much light!

ZyMLR0k.png Oh dear, a desert chapter?! This early?!?!

ZyMLR0k.png ...

oabzGbY.png HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAH!

fbDIBCu.png ...may I ask what your plan is, now?

oabzGbY.png I... I'm sure... I'll find a way to do something about this with my axe.

fbDIBCu.png Now I wonder why you aren't fighting alongside us.

ZyMLR0k.png There wasn't an option to make the avatar old.

fbDIBCu.png ...?

Part 10 - The redhead bros.

On 7/8/2017 at 0:49 AM, KnightOfNohr said:

Once again, the old hair is best.

I'd suggest possibly having a later penalty for every dishonorable reset, but that would be a bit hard, don't you Think?

Yeah, I considered that, but couldn't think of anything. Feel free to suggest something. Not that I plan to have any more of them, I already feel bad enough.

I really need to double-check the part numbering. I keep messing up and releasing two part 6s for some reason.

Spoiler

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The voting ended in a tie, so I'll throw in my vote, making it a 2 on 1 victory for keeping Pretzel's hair. Sorry, Air Force. Another day.

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Yeah, for sure. Sorry, my friend. Don't let this drag you down, I'm benching the supposedly 10/10 cleric for you!

Anyway, let's move on to the next chapter!

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Holm Beach!

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I... don't get it. Whatever, it's probably just a coincidence.

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I have one question. Wendell is still the Pontifex of Khadein, right? He only left temporarily to retrieve the Starshards for Gotoh. Merric and Elrean are only in charge while he's away.

Then why is he living all the way in Macedon? What, he wastes a warp charge every day to go to work?

Oh, right, I'd forgotten, the guy's the fastest old pope in existance. He probably just walks with slightly long strides and gets there within a minute.

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A better question would be why the hell he decided to settle down within Viking territory.

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Marth won't do anything. Ogma and his blonde soon-to-be friend will be the ones to safely rescue the children.

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Yada yada things. Today I got some good stuff. Gordin is already sitting on the bench, and Wrys can't make any use out of either of those stats, but the sword's okay, more experience for our main guys always comes in handy, and razor is probably the best trinket we've found so far. I burnt ten grand on a shaver forge during my maniac run, and it only had 2 more might than razor. Even the crit was the same. Real nice, and with some forging it might even become better than excalibur. You know, as if male Mages were in any need of help to be redundant.

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And we begin! No reclassing was done today, and the formation isn't very important.

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Yubello wants to go back... go back to where, exactly? Lang's castle? That wouldn't be a very wise idea, Yubello. Yumina then gives him some rough sibling love.

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Sheesh Yumina, have you seen your brother's magic stat? He does have a tome in his possesion, sure, but I'd rather he didn't use it.

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And then, to finish him off, she guilt traps him. Sheeda, you've nothing on this kid.

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"Your best" will consist of staying out of the red tiles, so don't feel too bad.

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I liked Ogma's clothing in FE3 better. He had a badass blue coat there. Here, he borrowed Mario's brown overalls from the original NES games.

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And we begin! First things first, Yumina rescues Ogma's blonde soon-to-be friend, Arran, over to the northeastern corner.

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What, you thought I meant Sirius? Pfah. I'm not going to risk recruiting that guy until the coast is clear, quite literally. Arran is better at this anyways.

Okay, let's talk about our new (and not so new) units.

Yubello is so horrible, he's infamous for it. Negative magic base, really? He's one of those rare characters who perform better as a physical unit while starting as a Mage. He's mediocre as a Fighter, which is way better than the abomination of a Mage he makes up.

Yumina is Malicia with worse magic, better speed and no access to Hammerne. I'd use her, if only because I like her personality way better. But they're both outclassed along with Wrys by Wendell and Etzel, in my opinion.

Ogma is not as incredibly awesome as he was in FE11, but he's still really great. Amazing bases and good growths make him more or less the best natural Mercenary you'll get. I still don't know if I'll use him, but if I do, he'll probably be great.

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Commence Operation ABE I (Arran Blocks Everything. It's different from Arran Baits Everyone in that "everyone" doesn't die the turn after).

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Down south, I set up some more kills for Matthis. He's gonna be a true man by the time we rescue his sister.

You know, that always puzzled me. Why can't he save Lena? I understand why Michalis can't rescue Maria, and I can sort of wrap my head around Elice not respecting Marth enough, but what about Lena and Matthis?

Maybe she still hates him for riding up to her and stabbing him in FE11.

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Anyway, Pretzel and Linde tag team on this Brigand.

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Even more to the south, Palla kills the Thief before he can reach Wendell's village. Quite the unusual level for Palla, considering her speed growth is bad.

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By the end of the turn, things look like this. One thing Matthis has over other baby units is that he's got high enough defense that you can afford to leave him in range of a Barbarian or two.

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Fighting ensues in the enemy phase, both for Ogma's team...

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...and for our main army.

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Matthis sets up a kill for his fellow redhead. I have high hopes for these two.

I just hope I don't end up losing them.

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Losing Linde would truly be a shame, as well. Although if she keeps neglecting her magical power, it will only be so for... the other reason, if you get what I'm saying. Wink wink nudge nudge.

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Anyway, Marth finally reaches Wendell's village. Let's hear what the Pontifex has to say.

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...oh.

They must've been level 20 swordmasters if they were swift enough to catch him.

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And now we have a worse version of razor. Joy.

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That done, Arran's got some more choking to do and oh look a miniboss.

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For some inexplicable reason this reminds me of Tommy Wiseau.

Don't tautch me motherforkerrrrrrr...

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And down he goes.

...

Nah, just joking. I made a savestate beforehand just for this. I don't think anyone's ever seen these lines. Here you have 'em. Enjoy!

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Instead, Arran assaults this random Hunter.

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The man's pal retaliates on cue.

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And then Ogma confronts the Thief of Darkness, who summons the powers of the night to attack Ogma, but ends up hitting himself. Moron.

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Maybe I can feed this kill to Y-- pfffhahahah. Foolish me.

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Still, I let him throw a tiny flimsy fireball at the Thief. And then Ogma gently pokes him in the nose with his gigantic sword, ending his reign of madness.

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This is how things are looking like for Arran. That's... a lot of enemies, even without counting Sirius.

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Then again they barely do any damage to him. What worries me is that they're starting to circle around Arran thanks to their water walking powers. I'll have to stop them, preferably sooner than later.

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Surprise! The legendary Talysian mercenary is here!

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...oh, balkan beetles, that wasn't such a bright idea. Ogma's in grave danger now.

But if I manage to kill this guy...

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And now, some completely unrelated news! Marth's army prepares to welcome the reinforcements. Pretzel's to the west, occupying one of the forts so we are not overwhelmed.

Yeah, at the time I didn't realise how thin an ice I was threading on, so I didn't even bother to take a picture of Arran successfully taking down the pirate. But I did the math and, yeah, Ogma'd been screwed had this missed.

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One turn until the experience parade.

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Ogma, because he's such a boss, dodges the Hunter's arrow, but that wouldn't have meant anything if the second pirate had been alive at this moment. Arran, you're the best.

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The player phase rolls around, and Arran must be having a stroke or something, because he misses this Thief, and then proceeds to miss him again next turn! I was so dumbstruck I failed to capture the second miss, but take my word for it, it happened.

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Also Palla's reached Ogma. She'll be helpful soon enough.

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...

I'm too slow to capture the southern reinforcements and too fast to catch the eastern one. Sometimes I impress myself.

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That would be a level! Don't disappoint me, Matthis.

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Hahahah! Awesome! He may have missed strength this time, but he made up by getting some much needed luck. Seriously, those low-percent crits are driving me nuts. My first goddess icon is going to Matthis, no questions asked.

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The Hunter attacks Pretzel. This proves to be a bad idea.

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For Marth and his sword dick are here!

...I make way too many inmature jokes, do I not? But seriously, what else am I supposed to say about this? You can't even see the hand he's holding the sword with!

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And Cecille finishes the Bandit Matthis weakened. They make a good team. Once he's gotten enough levels, I'll reclass him back to Cavalier so they can form a proper duo.

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Amazing. Some more defense wouldn't hurt you, I believe, but as long as you keep getting HP, I'll be happy.

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This is just a test to make sure Yubello's still useless. The results are quite conclusive.

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Although, I can hardly blame him. Even Ogma will have troubles facing this bastard.

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Run for your life, Yubello!

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Sheesh, dastardly silver axes and their huge might.

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Oh look! Yubello killed something!

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And Arran finally gets his act together and hits the guy. Good work Arran, the others will take over now. You may go puke.

Wait, not just yet, you need to hold them off one more turn.

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Palla chugs a vulnerary, and then crits the second Pirate. 10/10 won't be using her.

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Again?! Although, I suppose this time I was able to catch one of the reinforcements.

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Jesus, 2% crit. Still too high. It should be 0%. One of these days, Matthis, one of these days.

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Linde and Pretzel team up once more and... for the love of God, why do both my Mages suck?

You are Etzel's son in my little crappy fanfic! The best Mage in the entire game! Why the hell didn't you inherit his tankiness, his well-balanced growths, ANYTHING?!

Well, to be fair, I suppose you do have some amazing HP. But that isn't enough! You are supposed to be my best unit!

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Anyway, here, have a Yumina level. Hardly relevant, considering I probably won't be using her.

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I'll try to feed that Thief kill to Yubello, give the kid a chance. Arran stumbles out of the way, and Ogma rips the Hunter apart. There is nothing left between Yubello and--

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...Jesus Christ, Wendell, why didn't you teach any of your disciples the secret of your tremendous base speed?

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Sigh. Ogma is forced to take a devil sword hit to the face. I suppose he already has an X-shaped scar there, it's not such a tragedy.

It's like in Scream 2 where Dewey survives getting backstabbed because he had a piece of scar tissue there from a previous stabbing. Which he also survived for no reason at all.

And they call Kris a Mary Sue.

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Hmm, I wonder... never mind, he doesn't even begin to damage Sirius.

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Let's just stop considering ways to kill the Paladin and actually recruit him.

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"Are you in league with the pirates?"

"No, I don't"

You don't grammar either, eh Sirius? Actually it's just me cutting some dialogue out.

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What bandits? I'm sure the mask obstructs your view but I assure you, there are only 4 or 5 bandits left. We don't really need you to distract them.

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Sure, Cam-- sorry, Sirius.

...couldn't you have tried a little harder? You didn't even change your damn jacket! And that is one hell of a remarkable, memorable piece of clothing!

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And then Ogma explains the whole situation with Lorenz and Lang to him, and after some random squable, we get Sirius. Hoh hoh.

It is time for one of my spanish ramblings. I thought of using the word riff-raff here, because it is similar to "rifirrafe", which means... squable. I was actually convinced that riff-raff would mean that, but nope, it's a synonym of "poor people". English is really weird. Or, well, spanish is really weird. It would've been way more convenient if the entire world had one language.

Then again, if that was the case I wouldn't be able to brag about my english skills.

...where was I again? Ah, of course, Sirius.

Sirius is a great unit. Whereas Arran is this game's jeigan, Sirius could be considered the Oifey. He won't be amazing at the end of the game, but right now, he is, and that's what matters.

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Many, many turns pass. Wrys gets this level that's very good, even for one such as Wrys.

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And suddenly, Marth has walked all the way to where Ogma and company started, and has met an old acquaintance.

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Marth c'mon give the poor guy some money-- what am I saying? Everyone knows he's a con artist by this point!

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Thankfully, this doesn't mean that Castor's this game's Hugh, because...

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He's a really bad con artist.

Or maybe he's just too good a person at heart to be a good con artist. You know what, this is a less depressing theory, let's consider it canon from now on.

Castor is a fine unit that is easy to overlook. He's got great bases, comes rather early, and his growths are also quite all right. In fact, he's beating Ryan in several stats while being a few levels lower. I think I might ditch Ryan for him, depending on how he progresses.

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He won't get much of a chance to do that in this chapter, though. I want to get Matthis another level-up.

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Like so. By this point, it's 1:30, as always I understimated the time it takes to write down an update, and just want it to be over. Good thing we're almost there.

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Linde will be the one to draw in the enemy Hunter. She won't die, and the altercation will give her enough experience to get a level-up.

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Plot twist: Linde is actually Gharnef, and has decided to call upon the powers of Imhullu to engulf this Ruffian in darkness.

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For the love of-- how many times have you gotten this level-up already? Four? And your first level was so good! How dare you deceive me like that!

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Cecille and Luke take turns to bait enemies for Matthis. Luke is stronger, but Cecille's starting to double. Once she gets enough speed to do so reliably, she might just become better than Luke.

On a related note, argh! 96 exp! I need to make him cut someone else!

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Well. I'd rather not risk the 3% crit.

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So let us see how our female redheaded Cavalier fares against the guile of Guile.

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...how very ironic.

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This isn't the last time they'll pull this off. It's, quite frankly, a really weird concept for a battle quote, considering there's a good chance we might be the ones initiating the attack.

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Not in this case, though. Ouch! Cecille won't last another round. I'll have to bring someone else d--

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GAAAH FLASHBANG!

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...this is exactly why I am so worried about these unlikely crits. Had this happened to Matthis, he would've been inaugurating the death list.

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But it is not the case, therefore he's still alive and ready to get another level-up.

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This is his worst level-up so far. And it's still good. I'll see how he fares as a Cavalier with these levels in the pocket.

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One last kickass level for Wrys and...

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Oh hey Sheeda. Your portrait does not match the CG.

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Interplanetary pirates, I did not forsee this!

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Thanks, Pretzel. It was truly necesary that you stated the obvious. You're a great, meaningful character.

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Very perceptive, Jagen.

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Elice's right, Marth. You're quite hard-headed.

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And then Jagen contradicts himself. Marth apparently noticed.

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Gosh, how could he?
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And look what else happened, Elice has once again been captured. I'd honestly have liked it better if she joined us along with Sheeda, it would've been interesting to have her as an ordinary playable character for once. But of course, then they wouldn't have enough princesses to completely surround Medeus in the final battle.

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Marth, are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 'Cause I really hope you aren't thinking what I think you're thinking.

Then again she's your fiancee. Go ahead.

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And with that... we don't exactly have an objective this time, but we make one up anyways: tomorrow, we end Lang's reign of terror and avenge Lorenz's death!

But first, I need to sleep.

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Reset count: 0

Death count: --

Edited by Rubenio

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The mage MU curse strikes again! First Steve (from Lord Hippoman's LP, BTW) now Pretzel! Also, who thinks Etzel resembles Canas?

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X5SGs1H.png I've nothing to say.

fbDIBCu.png Running out of ideas already?

ZyMLR0k.png Don't be silly, I've plenty of brand new ideas for the LP.

fbDIBCu.png Oh really? Enlighten me, then.

cyU1NmJ.png Look! I now have a sword!

fbDIBCu.png ...

cyU1NmJ.png ...

ZyMLR0k.png I tried.

Part 11 - It was all going so well...

On 8/8/2017 at 2:13 AM, KnightOfNohr said:

The mage MU curse strikes again! First Steve (from Lord Hippoman's LP, BTW) now Pretzel! Also, who thinks Etzel resembles Canas?

Ah, Lord Hippoman's LP. That was actually my introduction to this game. It is an honour for my LP to be compared to his, even if it's in pretty much the worst way possible. I still have some hope for Pretzel, though. Unlike Steve, he's gotten a lot of magic. He better get up to speed soon, though, for Wendell draws near. No, I don't think Linde can be considered enough of a threat to him.

As for Etzel, I believe he's Canas done right. And this is coming from someone who likes Canas' appearance very much. Etzel is just on an entirely different league.

Spoiler

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We're once more crossing the ocean. You'd think Hardin would have naval units stationed around Grust, with orders to kill us on sight, but this isn't Advance Wars, so we just... sort of waltz right into the heart of the country.

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Hardin still has his snazzy turban and white tunic here. We've still a few chapters before the game reveals he's dropped his old attire for a villainous coat.

Spoilers, I guess.

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Hardin and Marth never actually talked in FE11. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do not hate FE11 and everything it stands for like some people, but some characters were dramatically wasted. If anything, my biggest pet peeve with it is that you can't get Frey and Norne in the higher difficulties.

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Plot twist: Marth actually hails from Grust.

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This is the first of many, many obstacles that stand between us and Altea. I find it quite ironic that Lang, Hardin and Elrean don't give us as many chapters worth of trouble as Gotoh and his bullshit test. Seriously, go ahead and look it up! After losing Altea, we fight Lang's troops for 2 chapters, then we escape from Hardin for 4 chapters if we pin 6x and 10x on him (he did hire the assasins), and then Elrean acts like an idiot for another 2 chapters. And then the supposedly benevolent deity who's on our side forces us to go through 5 chapters of unnecessary crap! He even beats the main antagonist! Sure, chapter 13x is also about the assasins, but the only reason we get there in the first place is Gotoh and his stupid whims!

And you might be thinking "but Ruben, he was making sure Marth was worthy of the lightsphere!". Well, my friend, that makes no sense because he already did! Gotoh witnessed Marth's actions last war!

But still, I can't complain more. Those are some fun chapters, and we re-recruit Athena there.

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"It's been decided" is a way to put "our old friend backstabbed us and now all we have is ourselves and the stuff in our pockets", I suppose.

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Yes, Jagen, I know. In fact, I'm going to use it in about five mins.

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But first, things. The cleave bow is alright, and Julian's bonuses are all right since we need to bring him around today. The rest isn't that amazing, considering I don't think I'll use Sheeda and Luke's facing strong competition in the form of Matthis.

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Speaking of whom, I decided to give him a couple turns at the drill grounds.

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Good level, if a little boring. Luck, Matthis, luck.

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And he's back on his horse. As things currently stand, he's as defensible as Luke, less skilled and lucky, and way faster. Which, quite frankly, gives him an edge over him.

Damnit Luke, you're falling behind! You better pray Matthis dies so I keep using you!

...damnit Luke, stop praying I lose units!

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What? One doesn't do anything while prying! Why, exactly, are you so exhaused all of sudden?

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Oh. It's one of these conversations. You know, most of the time, I like these because the avatar is just there to give the other character an excuse to speak of his problems and develop. But then you have the Training conversations, which consist basically of Pretzel being a training freak and everyone being amazed because he's so amazingly amazing at training amazingly. Amazing.

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Still, Luke's enough of a goofball to make it entertaining.

Welp. Time to add his name to the death count.

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"I'm interesting! I spent all my childhood training and listening to my grandad's one-liners! And I also have your name! What a bundle of joy I am!"

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Technically, neither are you Luke.

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Pfhahahah. I honestly love how Pretzel is formal and nice to absolutely everyone except for Luke. It's a nice change of pace.

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Hey there Ogma.

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Obviously he wants to know how you managed to have a higher skill base than strength or speed.

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Also that. Eh, I don't really like to count cutscenes in when rating a character's power. Plot armor and cutscene incompetence exist, you know?

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And then Ogma just asks him to fuck off, realises he was incredibly rude and harsh, and tries to fix it by turning it into a cheesy-ass, edgy statement.

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And then Pretzel requests to spar with him. Pretzel, I'm pretty sure he doubles you. Are you sure about this?

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And so, Pretzel died. Well, can't do anything about it now. I'll see you next LP!

 

 

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Look it's Lung Cancer! I can never tell if his eyes are open or not. These pictures are small, but not as much as his eyes.

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You know, Toras, your boss has a point there.

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It appears Lang forgot he sent Jeorge away. I wonder how this whole thing played out from Jeorge's perspective.

"Commander Jeorge, you are to crush the remnants of the rebelion. Leave, now!"

"Very well."

"Wait no never mind, get back here and help us kill prince Marth!"

"..."

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Yeah, by now being unlikeable is a personal trait of his.

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Wow, but you really do hate him, even more than people usually do. I like this, because he does pay for this decision later. Or, well, Hardin sets him up to pay, but he doesn't in the end because he has a face.

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This is more or less your "you can walk inside Jeorge's range" warning. It's as clumsily written as these usually are.

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Okay, time to war! Our first move, more text!

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That was easy. The axe bros can also recruit him, although it isn't quite as painless. It takes a few more lines of dialogue!

Barst is probably the best natural axe user in the game. Awesome growths, incredibly solid bases (he's a bit like Route A Gonzales, down to the disproportionately low level for his bases) and good availability make him a mighty fine unit. I've never used him, this time not because I dislike him but because I've never gotten around to it. This game has too many characters. I actually think that's a good thing, but eh. Maybe I'll use him this time around.

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With that out of the way, Linde wears this guy down. Julian will finish him off once he's done speaking with...

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His lesser replacement!

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Jikes, his manner of speech is even worse than Julian's!

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Yeah, this guy was Leon before Echoes was a thing. And no, Leon from Gaiden doesn't count, I don't think he had any lines at all there.

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I imagine the other enemy Thief desperately trying not to burst into laughter as he attempts to put out Linde's fire.

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And now we got Rickard. Rickard sucks ass, figuratively and I'm sure he'd like to do so literally, as well. His bases are pathetic and so are his growths. He's just there in case you feel you don't have enough chest openers with Marth, Julian and a staffbot equiped with the thief staff.

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Julian vents his frustration on the faceless Thief.

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Rickard's first and probably one action is to inmediately store the VIP card. The reason for this is that I always forget about it and end up missing the secret shop in Jake's chapter. I'd rather not end up looking even worse than I already do.

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Have a formation. Sheeda will be hauling ass to intercept the master seal Thief.

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A Mage inflicts some first-degree burns on Julian's face. The man is thankful, hoping it'll set Rickard back. But little did he know, his friend likes them scarred.

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And then Wrys ruins his plan.

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I let him have at the Mage. I'll try to get him a level or two.

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Cecille doubles and kills the second Mage, and Matthis sets up the last one for Castor.

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This is how things stand by the end of turn 2.

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Sheeda throws a couple javelins at this Cavalier as she passes by. Just for shits and giggles, because 3 damage a javelin isn't exactly very useful.

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Commence Operation ABE VI!

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Down south, this. These people won't move again for the remainer of the chapter.

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GAH FLASHBANG oh wait it's just the stonehoist.

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All right, Sheeda's caught up with the-- oh. Shit. The Cavalier will kill her if she gets hit by both him and the Thief.

...why yes I did plan this. Look!

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First, I kill th--

NO FUCK GOD DAMNIT SHE MISSED.

Well. There goes one of my promotions.

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Sigh. Here, have some Julian combat.

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Good level-up.

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And now I have to waste a rescue charge for nothing. Thanks Sheeda, you're very useful.

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More fighting. Marth gets a kill.

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I... honestly have no idea why this picture exists.

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Wrys level-up! It's just as good as all of his levels are.

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Matthis Matthises (read: throws one of his dear suicidal javelins at him) this faceless Cavalier.

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And then Cecille finishes him off.

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The readheaded duo and Marth will head west to speak with Lena's grandfather. We're going a little too slowly, it's a good thing the Thief hasn't appeared--

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...yet.

Damnit Luke you should've told me to hurry up.

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We need to hurry up!

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Good level-up but we've no time for this!

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C'mooooon oh shit Matthis is almost dead. He'll have to pull back for now, but the Thief is so close to the village...

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FUCK nooooooooooo now we're really screwed! Now I'll lose both Matthis and the hammerne staff.

As a last ditch effort, Marth tries his luck against the Dracoknight, hoping for a crit.

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It doesn't happen.

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And now he's dead.

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This "Ironman" run is a sham! Even I, the author, can see that much!

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I went ahead and reclassed Camus to Dracoknight before remembering I am not allowed to do any changes to the prep screen after resetting. Oh well. Plan C it is, then.

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Plan C is as follows: our Cavaliers will stick rockets to their horses and haul ass to the north. I'll see if I am able to bait the northernmost Cavalier away from the bridge before Sheeda and the master seal Thief get there.

ZydHHFN.png1i2AQ3V.png6Q0FJAY.pngeqzRNJP.pngCQ5BO1T.png

But first, some more unimportant fighting. Castor and Linde both got crits, which varied in usefulness. See if you can guess whose crit was the useful one.

5b2S7qn.pngVdbChDg.png

Yeah! Matthis just barely reaches the Cavalier's range. We're not out of the woods just yet, however. Matthis can take two hits, but not a crit.

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But first, Castor helps Julian kill this guy.

YdmDken.pngooxrz0J.png

I kind of like this one better.

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Sheeda, like last time, throws some javelins at this guy. Again, that doesn't do much.

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Here's the rest of our army. Yeah, I'm sending more guys to the north this time.

Okay, time for the enemy phase. I swear to god, if Matthis gets critted I'm gonna be really pissed off.

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No crit...

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...no crit. Phew.

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I swear to god Sheeda if you miss this one. I'll feed your heart to the hounds!

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Very well. Marth, be at rest, your wife gets to live another day.

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I don't think she'll get to stay in our team another day, though. If I wanted levels like these, I'd use Cecille. Which I already do. You're not needed.

ei3LjJz.pngXjVRbzW.png

0VISB40.png

We send these two to hell where they belong. They were much too assholish to belong anywhere else.

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This is how things are progressing so far.

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I don't know why I put Sheeda there. I was starting to get tired by this point. Oh well.

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Sheedid fine. Get it? Hue hue hue.

Ahem.

My apologies.

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Matthis misses both his javelins. Damnit Luke! You're to blame for this somehow!

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More death ensues.

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I was about to complain Cecille got screwed over this time until she got defense. Holy cow, that's a rare sight.

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Speaking of Cecille, it's her turn to bait the next Dracoknight over.

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Castor makes short work of him afterwards.

Or, is it a she? Dracoknights don't have different appearances depending on their gender, do they?

Eh, I don't care. As you can see, I am very progressive. I'll kill you regardless of your gender.

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Castor gets a decent level. Not much else to say, here. Much like he who got it, this level-up isn't very remarkable.

aQQhH7K.png8CsNyx2.png

Blah blah more baiting. Why he's using the javelin is beyond me.

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To compensate for making him bait with a weak weapon, I let him claim the experience.

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hahah, astounding! He even got res!

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Will do.

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Look who's here! You fucking asshole, just you wait. I block the way with Arran.

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Wrys gets this level. I'm not sure, I feel the defense was better, but if I had to choose, I'd chosen for Cecille to get the better level, so I'm fine with this outcome.

Wrys doesn't need good levels. His metamorphic hair is all he needs.

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Oh wow. I know he's the second coming of Ruffian Bandit but holy breathalyzers he is really dumb.

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Yes, I do, thank you very much.

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I don't want to feed Arran any more exp than the absolute necessary, so I let Sheeda kill the Thief.

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And so, we commence Operation ABE VII.

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As usual, it is a complete success.

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And now, we proceed to pick up the slack.

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Castor and Sheeda team up to kill the Cavalier who attacked Arran, while the latter and Matthis... merely attempt to kill the last Cavalier. I should've used the steel bow.

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Eh, it's not a huge blunder.

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Commence Operation ABE VIII! I'm gonna screw up the count one of these days.

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Toras' an interesting boss. As a Ballistician, he's really easy to cheese if you can get close to him. Emphasis on if, there aren't that many people who can take two ballista bolts to the skull.

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Arran, however, gives no fucks as he renders the efforts of the two Ballisticians null.

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And we begin to wound Toras.

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Matthis attempts to help, but he misses both javelins. Seriously, why can't he do anything with it? Is it cursed? I mean, it IS the javelin he had back at Macedon. Maybe I should give him a different one.

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Matthis dodges the second Ballistician's shot, who instead settles for casting Torpor on him. I wonder if anybody'll get the reference. It should be easy if you know where my avatar comes from. Hint hint.

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And so ends Toras' sorry, unimportant life.

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Agh, it had to happen eventually. Matthis' first bad level-up. Although it's still okay, if nothing else because of that sweet +2 HP. He's quickly turning into a great tank.

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The Knights have now started to move. At least this time Arran doesn't double them.

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One of them crossed the bridge and headed for our neglected southern team. I use this chance to feed Julian another kill.

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And that's it for the Ballisticians! Only two more Knights and we can call it a day.

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I use Cecille to bait them out and oh my god that's a lot of damage. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Aaaaahhhh thank you, IntSys, for nerfing javelins so much.

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And thank you for this, Anna. Cecille's becoming a powerhouse of a glass cannon.

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And that's a wrap!

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Only a few things left to do here. First, buy the secret master seal.

Second, buy some stuff. A few heals, steel weapons, etc. I didn't keep count.

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Third, Wrys level. Absolutely marvelous.

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Lastly... let's talk about this asshole. He's been healing enemies consistently throughout the whole accursed chapter. It is time for revenge!

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DIE!

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How very typical.

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And now we hastily end the chapter before Jeorge and company can kill Matthis.

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Yeah, let's go.

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Yeah, who knows what kind of dirty tactics he might attempt to use against us? Maybe he'll try to trick us into thinking he's surrendering!

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Reset count: 1

Death count: --

 

Edited by Rubenio

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12 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

You know, I have been meaning to ask you. Where is your avatar from?

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.

Anyways, this is a fun read.

Edited by Levant Mir Celestia

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fbDIBCu.png I hear you hail from Ecclesia, old man.

X5SGs1H.png Why yes! It is a beautiful land, indeed. The forests, swamps, rivers and seas... it's a good place to live.

fbDIBCu.png Mm yeah it does look cozy in this map here... what about the dark, ominous-looking castle overhere?

ZyMLR0k.png We... do not talk about that.

LghVj9q.png That said, if you wish I can give you a tour around. I've a couple of disciples over at Ecclesia! We wouldn't be alone, so I wouldn't have a chance to stab you in the back!

fbDIBCu.png ...I think I'll pass, thanks.

LghVj9q.png Ah, it hardly matters. You won't live to see the end of this war, anyways.

d0WIubs.png?1 Stop picking on my friend already!

cyU1NmJ.png Or what?

d0WIubs.png?1 ...

Part 12 - The cold truth of war.

11 hours ago, Levant Mir Celestia said:

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.

Anyways, this is a fun read.

I'm glad you're liking it. That's what I was going for, God knows I do not have the skills to make this an impressive no-death no-reset run.

Please, guys, tell me what you think of the edits. I'm no artist, but I think they came out okay.

You better like this update. Mozilla bugged and turned pitch black when I was almost done, and when I reloaded to fix it, I lost half the fucking thing. I really like doing this LP, but things like these infuriate me.

Spoiler

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Castle map! These are always fun. Yeah, even Ostia. The start of that one is tedious, but when the Mercenaries with armorslayers start appearing it becomes quite intense.

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Here we have... Lang? I don't think that's Lang, unless he changed his clothing for this one shot. And considering his situation, that doesn't make much sense. He's no Narcian.

UljyhOj.pngwnL7OC1.png

To be honest, in this game's universe? He's pretty high up on the list. He definitely loses to the likes of Gharnef or Judah, but he's still a huge asshole. Certainly more so than Hardin, if only because Hardin isn't doing all of this willingly.

Bottom line, they stole our prisons, so we wouldn't be able to spare his life even if we wanted to.

BXtOA2i.png1NdYu2c.png

Oh look, it's Jagen's Judgement on Pretzel's mag--

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...wait, what? He judges his strength? He just told us we'd be better off using magic against Lang! He should be judging that instead!

Still, I'm glad for this. He's not being as passive-agressive as he was last time, but this will still help me endure the many Mary Sue moments that are to come.

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I love how Jagen speaks of the smallest things in a cheesy, over-the-top manner of speech, and then refers to the "most cruel man in Archanea" as "that insolent man".

zKhXU5f.pngJqWldV9.pngUKPX26D.pngis1gsmy.pngqEpB2Zm.png

Two-timing tartar twisters, so much fecal matter. Exp for Benchwarmer Waifu, a potion, and a bunch of bonuses for people we won't be bringing along.

Well, this is all irrelevant. We've more important matters to attend to.

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Wrys, for instance.

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Wrys is a good man. Unlike some others, he actually appreciates that we saved his ass.

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Man, that was such a dumb question. Even Wrys is putting a "getting tired of your shit" face. I mean, if Wrys said "my village" or "my home", it would've been more understandable, but he spoke of Altea! As in, the whole country! Is there any country in the world without monasteries or any holy building of the sort?

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In a perfect world, this would be heartwarming, but considering the history of the real clergy...

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Oh dear, it was intentional!

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...let's just move on. I like to believe this is a perfect world and Wrys doesn't mean anything amoral here.

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Oh look it's the bumbling idiot! Let's speak to him instead.

F5ZCLFR.pngPYoHQgH.png

Oh no we've gone from the frying pan into the fire, haven't we?

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Plot twist: Matthis is actually the smartest playable character and figures out Gharnef's plan even before Gotoh himself.

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Matthis you've been perfectly fine for a few chapters already. But still, I can't relate to you because I don't have any sisters, but if I did, I'd relate to you, man.

N4D6Ah8.pngVLsbixS.png

Yeah, and it's nothing like what you've in mind, Matthis.

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Pfffhahahahahah. He's so brutally honest about it, it's hilarious. Why do people hate this guy, again?

Oh right, the implied Ephraim situation. Meeeh.

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And off he goes again. I hope he comes back in time for this chapter.

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While we wait for him, let's have some words with Linde.

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Oh shit plotholes. Or, Pretzel was simply never told the name of the Pontifex before he fled from Khadein.

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Come now, you're just saying that out of respect for her daughter.

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"Gee, I do wonder if the man you refered to in past tense is in Archanea right now".

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Pretzel what's up with you today? You don't just say "my condolences"! I might be mistaken, but to me, that seems like the most synthetic, meaningless way to give somebody your condolences. I mean, not that these things ever mean anything, but at least "I'm sorry" doesn't sound so cold.

Eh, I'd be distracted too if I were in your position, but c'mon, show some spine. You're the hero of shadow, not some random dork like me!

X9IOEY5.pngEPTqjwx.png

This is hard to read.

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Ergh... quite the... peculiar turn this has taken.

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Awwww she likes you, Pretzel.

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I bet.

...huh? What's that sound?

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Shit, again?! Quickly, go find Wrys!

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Oh. Okay then.

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I don't know, Arran. Sure, there's a chance they might send you home if they find out you're dying, but at the same time, sheer willpower won't keep you alive forever. Imagine how tragic it would be if you were to have a stroke while protecting Marth.

ZAUeziz.png

Yeah, please do tell us your backstory.

i44PUz2.pngaXygmaK.png

No kidding, this is why I like Arran so much. They took one of the most uninteresting characters in Shadow Dragon and gave him a really interesting backstory and development.

mBXD8HA.png1D0hfPo.png

Still, I'm pretty sure getting some medicine to keep yourself alive for at the very least a little longer wouldn't be the end of the world.

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Anyway, preparations. We merge a Fire we got last chapter with Linde's almost broken one to get a full Fire tome. I like this feature. It's not that useful, but it's nice to have.

tjQdzGj.png

And this is our formation. Sirius will be hauling ass to kill the swarm Bishop as soon as possible (turn 2), while the others will do other things. I won't be bringing a Thief because I've no space left, but that's fine. Marth is the only Thief we'll ever need.

8p1gg8M.png

Thanks for the tip, Lang.

HKb90d8.pngmVLkKXb.png

Oh shit he's got Navarre to watch his back. I never liked these characters. They're always the same "dot dot dot I am so edgy and in my ending, I always disappear" sort of people.

yrEMY06.pngeaxTNpX.png

He's acting awfully strange, though. Can you spot the mistake?

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Anyway, first turn. Matthis and (not pictured) Arran will be taking care of the left side with the aid of our Mages. A few drops of pure water will allow Matthis to take on just about anyone.

t1sZ2ys.png

Sirius does what I said he would earlier, and Cecille kills the elfire mage in the treasury so Marth doesn't get killed. Oh dear, she's completely wrecked. And Sirius wasn't able to get to the swarm Bishop this turn!

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But don't worry, I'd anticipated this would happen. Last chapter's Bishop had exactly one physic charge left when Matthis ended his life, and this is the perfect occasion to use it.

zAo7DzY.png

The rest of the team moves around. I'll try to feed the physic Bishop to Castor.

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I really like this spell. It's quite... unique.

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Matthis does some killing and gets a level-up. Hurray, more double HP!

fGf5YjG.pngXWYx7V1.png

I wasn't expecting him to double this Mage. I checked, and I was pretty sure he didn't have enough speed to do so. I did only check one of the Mages, though.

Sj5RObQ.pngqrf92SE.png

This then happens. You know, I'd say that reinforcements almost never are friendly, but the sole fact that you brought up the possibility probably means they are.

saqTjsM.png

Sirius kills the Bishop as planned.

PD3N5dp.pngAq7M933.png

In the other side, our Mages finish off the Knights Arran and Matthis wounded.

tE5ZxYr.png

Like so. Their forces are being decimated, and will soon fall. I make Arran shoot the other Knight with the steel bow. This, in time, proves to be a fatal mistake.

cLfHXar.png

Pictured, the eastern front. It'll be retreating to the middle soon, though. Wouldn't want a brigade of reinforcements to show up and kill Marth before I can reach them.

2EfmbKB.png

Oh, the Knight goes for Linde. Eh, that's all right, she can kill him thanks to Arran's chip. Good jeiganing, Arran!

AaWvSqY.png

NO! THE OTHER KNIGHT WAS IN RANGE!

DUCK! MOVE! RUN AWAY! DO SOME--

6e9RbUH.png

...

okUgVIc.png

N-no... not Linde...

Oh well... I suppose... I suppose she wasn't that great! This was bound to happen eventually. At least it wasn't one of my actually good units.

...

Why am I so fucking stupid?!

tcy1bxH.png

The remaining Mage attacks Arran. Fucking low percent crits. We were this close to losing Arran as well.

qH45iqm.png

Oh hey there. The reinforcements turned out to have faces and be blue. Who could've possibly forseen that?

NhU3aXY.pnguV9WwKO.pngVDhBEq9.png

If they have faces, sure. I'm not sure about the chances of the rest, though.

3bkWKSU.pngFq2IOkG.png

This is a friendly piece of advice that maybe you should move Frey and Norne the hell away from the castle entrance.

qGR9vqf.png

But first, it is time to avenge Linde's death. DIE, YOU BASTARD!

yiyD1cC.png

PERISH!

This... doesn't even begin to make up for Linde's death. Let's go roast Lang's old bones, and perhaps then...

joktDu5.png

Matthis then OHKOs the Mage who attacked Arran. He's quickly turning into my MVP.

jGG02Jf.png

Castor begins his assault on the physic Bishop.

va9anvX.png

And gets a level-up in the process. Not too shabby.

QRNYNkw.png

Nothing happens this turn, so Castor finishes off the Bishop.

mGmpCj9.png

Just in time, too, for the reinforcements have arrived!

qepb71r.png

We wait them out, and Yumina gets this level-up while we do so. Not too bad.

5YuV1Hi.pngLY9iIcf.pngaNQjPbV.png

Here we go! Frey could've critted and subsequently gotten killed, but shhhh I am a good strategist.

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It doesn't happen, thankfully, so he lives to finish off the Knight.

XB646zC.png

Arran jeigans this Archer for Norne--

bVAHhXi.png

Norne! Why is nothing going the way I want today?!

Even the fucking browser broke down when I was almost done! I don't want to stay up five fucking hours just because the website only saves whatever it wants to save. Which isn't a lot.

vHvptcW.png

Sigh and of course, she gets hit by the Archer with a lower chance of doing so. Typical Fire Emblem right there.

Except in a typical Fire Emblem run, Linde wouldn't be irremediably dead.

...well, there is a way, but unless she is the only casualty by the end of the LP...

6rnY84q.png

Pretzel picks up her slack.

mSlrUxL.pngk1SG23Z.pngmTdekQj.pngpDjwrDD.png

Some more fighting ensues. I can't remember what I said about this the first time around, and frankly, I don't give a fuck. Stupid web browsers. Mozilla breaks randomly, Chrome destroys your computer and Internet explorer just outright blows. Sigh.

v38Od3x.png

Anyway, this map screenshot reveals Cecille and Barst took care of the Soldier next to Arran, while the Matthis and Sirius rode south to defend the entrance.

OJveWNN.png

About time, too, because we've some more reinforcements on the way.

B4q44He.png

Cutting it too close there, Sirius. I'd rather finish this part with no more deaths. Especially not you, Sirius, I need you for the good ending.

Time for one of my language rants. Why are you englishmen so picky when it comes to "ly"s and "lly"s? I always have to look these up. Can someone please explain to me the difference between "literaly" and "literally"? Because I can't see any.

tXGOkvq.png

Fortunately, this idiot decided to throw a useless javelin at Sirius, preventing the Archer from (probably more successfully) attacking the Paladin.

AxT3EEF.pngXpvu4xl.png

The rest of the enemies either attack Matthis or just move up to clog the corridor some more.

pZ0s3wW.png

It's our turn again. First things first, Sirius flees over to Wrys' welcoming staff. That sounded horribly wrong, I apologise.

nkmOs6Y.png

Norne tries again. She comes out victorious this time.

2lYc2it.pngUdq2Onv.pngHCipibn.pngRrqTsL9.png

And we go on the offensive. Only the javelin-toting dumbass survives the resulting onslaught.

fEwzrYH.png

Marth gets a level-up. It isn't that bad, but you'll be needing some strength and defense if you want to ever be anything more than a mere seizebot.

DZDqPDU.png

Wrys! The fact that I love to joke about you being godly doesn't mean you're allowed to do this kind of crap!

xTth22d.png Did you say something about me, friend?

ZyMLR0k.png Oh, right, the metamorphic hair. Sorry, Wrys, I'd forgotten.

ZyMLR0k.png ...isn't it awfully similar to Arran's, though?

xTth22d.png I have no idea what you are talking about.

xTth22d.png ...

 

JAMCFxc.png

Whatever, we've bigger problems on our hands.

X22jePa.png

Marth dabs on this Knight's ass. My opinion of him inmediately plummets to the ground.

yOSOs4h.pngOhRUcSS.png

Not helping your case, Marth. Not in the slightest.

w2deLM5.png

How ironic is it that Matthis' Javelin of Suicide is the only thing that goes the way I want it to in this accursed update?

I'll have to forge it, now. That name is way too long, though. Shame.

Hmm. Maybe J. Suicide? I'll have to think about it.

C8TB7dk.png2RZ9SD7.png

Frey gets another kill with some help from Arran. He's almost ready to get his first level-up.

lO5AaU6.png2qzHSrL.png

And Sirius and Pretzel team up to kill the Archer. The reinforcements are no more!

8xDCg0S.png

It was at this moment when I realised Marth can only open chests, not doors. Oh well. There goes my chance to attack Lang from both sides. I can't exactly afford to skip the large bullion the chest contains, I'm broke.

That strategy never works, anyways.

It was also right about now when I remembered I need Ogma or Sheeda to recruit Samto. Which means he's screwed, because I didn't bring either of them.

...sigh there go my hopes of completing this whole thing without any more casualties.

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Anyway, while we move, Yumina gets this damn good level-up that'll help her if I reclass her to Mage. She'll need a few rounds at the drill grounds to catch up, but her magic growth is higher than Linde's, so I think she should replace her just fine, except for the fact that she'll have to build her tome rank up from scratch.

Y7QpOUS.png

Many turns of walking later, we get to the northern doors.

93RJMGX.png

No sense in delying the inevitable. Frey initiates the assault on "Navarre".

I mean, Samto's no better than the faceless soldiers we've been slaughtering all this time. Heck, he's actually even worse, considering he's a scamming scoundrel.

0Pe2XS4.pngFKY25g2.png

Decent level-up. He's still inferior to Matthis, but he could work in another class.

CYXkSrr.pngIm6VwUr.png

Speaking of whom, Matthis does the foul deed. All things considered, I pity the guy.

Let's honour him by talking about his performance as a unit. He's really damn bad. His non-speed growths are all bad, his bases are laughable, and he comes just one chapter before Caesar and Radd, who fill his niche (Ogma replacement) way better than him. You don't even have to recruit him to get his Starshard, because he drops it if you choose to slit his throat like I was forced to do. He really is just there in case you, for some reason, couldn't get to 6x. Even though that one's pretty much the easiest side chapter to get, as Rickard is easy to recruit and keep out of the way.

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Hahahahahah. Another +2 HP level. This guy's officially my tankiest non-Arran unit as of now!

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Finally, we can take a look at the boss. Lang has cancer, which somehow makes him more durable. Other than that, he's not very dangerous. Come now, IntSys, couldn't you have given him a spear? He's too much of an important character to get a petty javelin!

qPYv8VR.pngCSz89t4.png

Arran and Pretzel put the remaining pure water to good use. They'll be going on the defensive for the moment.

hx0c6LD.png9ydUIli.png7b73R9S.png

Like so. Forgive me if the quality of the writing declines even further from here on out, my rage has turned into drowsiness by now.

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Pretzel burns one of the Knights. Jeez, Pretzel, you're Lilina down to the "a". Well, not exactly, Lilina would've never gotten this much HP, but other than that...

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Arran takes a sip of his vulnerary, and readies up for the next turn.

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I must say, he got better level-ups in my maniac run. He actually got defense there, which is the only stat he can use at all.

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Pretzel's not in very good shape. He'll have to pull back. (Both pictures are of the same battle).

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Same goes for Arran. But that's fine, they've done their job. We're in a good enough position to go on the offensive.

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As expected, Arran runs to the rear.

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Pretzel, however, attacks instead of retreating. He doesn't need to, the rest of the army will cover him.

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Your extremely strong argument has convinced me, Camus. I will not be using you.

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ah2SFO0.png1qPrjjN.png8NxB5XL.png

And so, Lang's guard no longer exists. Also, Wrys got a level-up. That's better, my man.

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Barst has barely done anything in this chapter. Because of this, I let him take on this elfire Mage. Time to prove your worth, Barst!

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...by handing your axe over to the Mage?

Nah just joking, he hit him critically. Unnecessarily so, as well.

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Great level-up! You're staying in the team.

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Oh, you're going to regret ever taking over Grust, you old bastard.

fbDIBCu.png Said the pot to the ke--

ZyMLR0k.png You already said that a few parts ago.

fbDIBCu.png It begs repeating.

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Ahh, a little too late for that, I'm afraid. You've already claimed the life of one of our people, and as the bible says, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth".

l3NvV6T.pnggsJa94c.png

You can't be serious.

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Who's going to buy that?!

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See, this is what I was talking about back with Guile. This really doesn't work when we're the ones to initiate the attack.

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...oh.

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...I stand corrected, it seems Castor did buy it and lowered his guard.

Castor is so bad at being a con artist, he can't even tell the real ones apart.

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But, even after his initial victory...

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...the tyrant who terrorized Grust...

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...is no more.

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This is for Linde.

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That you have. He actually had his eyes opened in this screencap, I edited them. See if you can tell the difference between this and the actual blinking sprite.

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Pretzel's getting the speedwing, no questions asked.

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And with one last (amazing) level for Wrys...

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We finally leave this fucking chapter behind. Pope Windell's here!

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Eh, this is Lang we're talking about. I don't think he'd do a good deed, not even by accident.

VbvFXzW.pngzOYLSDE.png

I think Marth knows this much. If I recall correctly, Gotoh did this right in front of Marth's eyes.

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And now we got a new objective that'll take so many chapters to complete, you'll forget our original intention was to go reclaim Altea.

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He finds it so hard to take in, he can't even keep his eyes fully opened.

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But it isn't all bad news. Marth informs Wendell that we already have a few Starshards. Like the one we pried out of Samto's cold, dead hands.

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Yey, the Fane of Raman!

...what's that, again?

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Good to know it's conveniently placed, at least.

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Then Marth talks to Pretzel. You do you, mate, but I don't think you need to tell Pretzel that. He was the one who finished Lang off.

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Oh no, not this again!

HtnWCzn.png

Naaaah why would you--

Nope, not gonna do that again. Linde's more important than Rody. I shall respect and acknowledge her death.

fbDIBCu.png ...

cyU1NmJ.png What? You've anything to say? Come on, out with it.

fbDIBCu.png ...sigh. Just kill me already.

W54BO53.png

Oh hey Jagen.

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What a great plan, Jagen, you're a strategical genius, understimating your foes like that. I didn't catch it, but he also stated that the Altean army would never be defeated by some lowly Mercenaries.

This kind of crap is usually reserved to the throwaway boring bosses!

RaMKMQ4.png

I'm just glad to be done with this.

I swear to fucking Satan, if you dare to break again Mozilla...

...nothing? Am I allowed to finally push this parade of failure out?

...thanks.

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Reset count: 1

Death count: Linde
                       Samto

Edited by Rubenio

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Actually, you add the suffix "ly" to an adjective  to turn it into an adverb, such as "literal" to "literally". Hence, two Ls.

Edited by KnightOfNohr

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fbDIBCu.png You're so melodramatic. Yesterday's update couldn't have been that bad.

ZyMLR0k.png You do not know what it is to lose half an update. Here, I'll give you a visual representation of myself last night.

xTth22d.png This was me before losing everything, ready to write the last few paragraphs.

BKi1eRT.png This was me after getting to the end of the update again.

fbDIBCu.png I... find that hard to believe.

d0WIubs.png?1 What's the difference? They have the same hair and baggy eyes!

ZyMLR0k.png ...

Part 13 - Jagen is a strategical genius.

12 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Actually, you add the suffix "ly" to an adjective  to turn it into an adverb, such as "literal" to "literally". Hence, two Ls.

Ohhh, of course. I knew about the suffix, but it didn't occur to me that the adjectives might already have an L at the end. That should come in handy, I won't have to look all of these words up, meaning it'll take me less time to write an update, lowering the chances of Firefox shitting itself before I can submit the update.

Speaking of which...

Spoiler

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Well, the Talysian Mercenaries are already in our team, and there aren't that many named Mercenaries so... oh what am I saying, everyone reading this knows exactly who we're going to fight today.

cDISY9T.pngSLks8eH.png

But first, plot! Gee, we've been ambushed? Who could possibly have envisaged this?

4QwGzSv.pngeabHK9T.png5wStHUy.png7cfPCeS.png

That's it for the plot! A 3 use silver sword and useless crap. This one was awful.

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It's been decided Yumina will be our new female Mage. I know, I know, she's got 5 more levels than she had at the end of yesterday's update. I forgot to screencap the reclassing and had to do it after...

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The drill grounds! It surprised me how many tomes she could use at base. Fire was a given, of course, but I didn't remember thunder and nosferatu are also E.

q4FKz6i.pngreX5GkY.pngeXE6We3.png6noc7j9.pngmZ5kLBn.png

And here we go, 5 levels and she's up to speed. She's really, really, really frail, which is why I'm not bringing her today, but she'll be good enough for chapter 7. If she survives the chapter, I'll give her the angelic robe one of the Thieves there drops. Maybe let her have cancer as well.

FE12: the game where you nonchalantly talk of giving people cancer as if it's a good thing.

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I also reclass Sirius to General, as I require concrete walls for my strategy.

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All right, time to-- what? No! Cecille, this is not the time to train, unless your name is Yumina, and I don't think it is.

84FsKOt.pngVqKNIfO.pngIcRhiwk.png

Cecille is IntSys' take on strong, independent walking agendas.

dNjhdmn.pngNuVljHs.png

Which isn't bad, not at all, because...

IrVSR1j.png

...they took the satirical approach to the matter with her.

ZMnwo5B.pngMyTRtaW.png

Yeah, sure, you blame the noise on the wind. You know, I prefer how FE8 handled this with Moulder and Gilliam. It was kind of funny to see two of the oldest characters in the roaster engaging in a serious discussion about a sound only one of them could hear. And then strengthening their friendship because of it.

No kidding, I like that support.

myRes3t.pngKWPltUE.png

Anyway, back to Cecille. I do wonder what, exactly, she heard that spooked her so. I just hope I won't lose her before she can tell us what it was.

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GAH speaking of being spooked. Damnit Castor, you don't just sneak up on people!

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Pretzel please. This just barely loses out to Lang's battle quote in obviousness. And I've said enough about his quote already.

ykoKUxb.png

Yeah, yeah. That's all very nice. Could you leave now, Castor? Before Pretzel's thick skull is penetrated by the fact that you just scammed him?

...on second thought, eh, you needn't leave. It'll take him a while to process the information and come to realise what just happened. It's the avatar.

tKuLdsg.png

No, seriously, by this point you're just embarrassing yourself in the eyes of every other scammer in our army.

It's a good thing I murdered the only other con artist that could've joined us, eh, Castor?

Fun fact: Castor means beaver in spanish. They were reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal subtle with his name.

EIyTGuH.png

This isn't going to end well. Pretzel's an idiot, but he has a working brain.

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And there we go. Castor, you've nobody to blame for this but yourself. You could've just left with the cash!

ifj8xrn.pngpwM7n0O.png

Tell him you'll do and leave already!

iKOKdn5.png0hQLGuU.png

And he leaves without the gold. Holy shit.

Hey, don't feel so down. You may suck ass as a con artist, but you're a fine Hunter.

9dVK2ZJ.png

At last! We pay our attackers some attention. Not that they needed it, mind you. They've been praising themselves while we were wasting time with our troops.

j0VbuHU.png

Caesar is significantly smarter than Radd and every throwaway boss ever, actually acknowledging how strong we are.

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This statement would automatically turn Caesar into a despicable bastard, but...

sr1HPds.png

...it's for a good cause. Here we have another case of a random character from Shadow Dragon being given a cool backstory and personality in FE12. Radd, too, but it isn't as obvious if you don't read his conversations.

A Mary Sue as they may be, I appreciate the avatar's existance if only because they give all these people an excuse to talk.

D5R7ftw.png

Then he tells Radd to leave. And, as usual with these "best bros" type of characters...

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He stays to the bitter end. That's all right. Neither of you are dying today.

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One of you two, though...

Tj5xKKc.png

But it's already been your turn. You were the one behind the whole Katarina scheme!

LQCChRl.png

No, Kleine, they won't be of any use. Not to you, and most likely, not to me.

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Not from the gate you won't.

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And then Kleine leaves instead of killing us right here. She must be Narcian's daughter.

...although, she looks more like Clarine--

OH GOD GAAAHAHAHAAAH why did I have to suggest that? Ngh! As if Narcian needed any more reasons to be hated!

IqLrphG.png

First mistake of the day! I press A twice by accident and make Sirius attack without even knowing if he would be able to kill the Knight. Thankfully, he crits, so no harm done.

He doubled the Knight, too.

LXTSV5P.png

Pretzel then moves up two tiles away from Roro, in order to face him during the enemy phase. This lucky dodge wasn't needed, but I still appreciate it.

WzsXK79.png

Castor kills the Fighter.

31G7wZ5.pnghmyCKgH.png

Arran and Wendell team up to kill-- oh dear he doesn't kill him. And I can't risk taking that hit! I think I actually could but it wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

EKcVRKS.png

Okay, plan B: Marth will sit here, with an iron sword to make sure he doesn't outright kill anyone.

BRz8IpR.png

One quick visit to the convoy later, we can safely one-shot the Fighter.

J9rf6cn.png

Like so. I like this game's spells. If only they weren't so lazy with the character's animations.

9hOvl9o.png

Matthis will stay here and block this bridge with his trusty javelin.

4fMkKGV.png

And so, it begins.

f0zw5oD.pngtREktrA.png

Both parties take hits. Pretzel two-shots Roro? Wow, that's actually quite impressive! See, KnightofNohr? He isn't--

IJynkrV.png

BULLSHIT! I HATE THIS GAME! IT'S THE WORST IN THE SERIES! EVEN FUCKING SHADOW DRAGON WAS BETTER!

...nah jokes aside, the interface art and music were better in that one. Seriously, this game's interface is so damn bland compared to the one in Shadow Dragon, and pretty much the rest of the series! It's just grey boxes everywhere!

oabzGbY.png My axe has a more complex gradient effect than this game's name boxes!

Also Hardin was playable there, and we got two early Karels. It was an interesting game, all things considered. If only the deaths of half the cast weren't required to recruit Etzel Frey and Norne were available in the harder modes...

NW4HWMV.png

Where were we? Oh right.

DXkHkqD.png

We were just about to begin the chapter!

e7AOXjz.png

Oh wow. Hahahahahah. It seems Pretzel doesn't get doubled anymore. How very convenient.

Damnit Luke, it's your fault he got doubled last time!

kRMQxg2.png

Once again, he dodges the Fighter's handaxe, which is actually very good because Roro does one more damage to Pretzel now, which was just barely enough so that the Archer would've killed him again had all three opponents hit him.

Pmbgufk.png

Also Castor gets a level-up. I'm pretty sure he also got one last time around, but I guess I missed it. Not that it matters too much.

Not bad, not too bad. He's becoming quite strong. Although I wouldn't refuse some more defense.

cHVgCFa.png

Anyway, we do everything exactly like last time.

aUYwcq9.png92i5kFj.png

I am considerably luckier this time around, as Pretzel only fails to evade the Archer's arrow. And it doesn't matter, by this point, we've pretty much won already.

Fd0ydvn.png

The eastern Archer goes for the Pope, who demonstrates why he's the best character in Archanea by dodging and then killing the guy. Neither of these actions are portrayed in the picture because I've the timing of a high school student upon being asked a question while a hot chick was sitting in front of him.

Not that I ever experienced that. All the idiotic bimbos in my class bored me to death. Also the one time I was interested in one of them she failed to acknowledge my existance.

BZouj7u.png

But enough about my crappy tales, Marth and this Fighter give Jesus a run for his money as they brawl while standing in the middle of a river.

Or, hey, maybe it's a really, really, really shallow river.

bKm17XD.pngzNX13Cr.png

Sirius and Matthis are also challenged by Caesar's faceless Axe Bros. Matthis fails spectacularly while Sirius does the opposite.

JoEw0D7.png

And down goes Roro!

e0s4ao2.png

Oh. Well. I'd be skeptical, but Frey's in my army so...

By the way, I'm going to deploy Frey next time. Maybe as a Mercenary, I'm not sure. Just thought I'd mention it, since you probably haven't realised I'm a huge fan of him yet.

Anyway, Pretzel levels up! It is his time to truly prove the Mage MU curse is naught but a myth!

29BOjje.png

Technocrat! Harlequin! Terrapin! Vermicelli! Prize Nincompoop! Jobbernowl! Wrecker! Crook! Caterpillar!

TFWUJZ2g.png

Sigh. At least he still has a ton of HP.

Zj4FEKX.pngAdWaUh6.pngxq0DPCb.png

Fighting, fighting. No levels, no risk, not much of interest here.

ZgwZqya.png

Enemy phase! Marth gets attacked by another Jesus Fighter on his way to the gate. He is impervious to his assault.

JZkeGIi.png

Caesar decides he's had enough of watching his men die, and attacks Arran. This is your friendly tip that you can't recruit these two by talking to them.

edGiJCS.pngCJS0WvY.pngOHVCpv6.png

More fighting! Matthis is almost ready to level-up.

cwUWfJl.pngGoQZU9d.png

I can afford to linger around a little longer, so I weaken the last Jesus Fighter for Marth to kill.

wBEy9vN.png

No, this was not a mistake. Caesar won't die, and stabbing him in the gut will give Matthis just enough experience to get...

6crhdcC.png

...this! With every level-up, he looks more and more like Lowen. Quite ironic, too, considering he combs his hair upwards, much unlike the Pheraean Cavalier.

jhrN0eO.png

Also Radd attacks Sirius. His line is as generic as they come.

It's also quite irrelevant, because we've already conquered the castle, an occurrence that apparently turns both their swords to dust or something. Magic snort snort.

KiluXpw.png

You should've, indeed. But hey! This is your chance to join us!

PdMCtKY.png

Hey, come now man, no need to be so negative. Think of your sister!

eYGOKdF.pngKeA5Lwb.png

Eh, I'm not forcing you to join us. You're not very good units anyway.

Z3P72Sr.pngd8GsQWu.pngm0ZfdZY.png

We've over 7000 gold as of now. And I'm pretty sure we'll be getting a bullion next chapter. Maybe you'd want to reconsider your decision? Take your time, it's not like we're in a hurry to save the world from eternal damnation or anything.

MzDBsuP.pngWrC0y5R.png

Of course! I mean, they're the villains! They'll obviously be sending their weaker troops until we've grown strong enough to face their elite troops!

I love chapter 8 for this very reason.

Xxb3def.png

Nope! Skip! I don't want to hear it! Don't you dare overrate the avatar's deeds!

He just proposed a reasonable deal! How does that resemble any sort of "power to move the hearts of others"? I could've done that, and so could Jagen!

Hell, Sheeda still recruits more than Pretzel does in this game. And it's not as if they were units she already recruited in FE3, no no no, they're all characters that were missing in book 2!

zOmdrJc.pngO731mTP.png

And so, we get Ogma replacements. I'll be talking about them in the next part.

brLuuvy.pngcelyg0r.png

You know, I kinda like Roro better than Legion. Roro is subtle (the double, identical syllables symbolise the fact that there are multiple, identical Roros) while Legion more or less screams into your ear "THIS GUY'S GOT MANY CLONES!".

Speaking of which, I missed the part where Kleine asks him whether or not he's the real Roro because I've the timing of a high school student, etc., etc.

Wb1gxUw.png

Weeheehee HEEEHEEEHEEE HAWWWW HAWW HAWWWWW

Ahem.

fTR3n0x.png

Yeah, next time, when you won't even be fighting Marth and his troops.

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Reset count: 2

Death count: Linde
                       Samto

 

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