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Valkyria Chronicles: Gallian Crossfire mod - Temporary Ceasefire

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12 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

I think it is a bit confusing regardless. I... do not think this comes up ever again? Largo just goes back to being chill. I do not remember every single scene though.

 

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- Yeah, it is strange, and when playing this game initially, it gave me the wrong impression about what kind of guy he was.  His main problem with Welkin in this scene is mostly just the fact that he's a greenhorn who's getting a lot of attention, but that gets a little muddied by him taking sides with Rosie.  But yes, after you take the bridgehead, and especially after his special Report segment, he's less a typical contrarian asshole and more the lovable grandpa of the Platoon he actually is for 90% of the game.

- Why does she look like a monstrosity out of an Oney cartoon?  Or like one of those fucked up drawings that my brother would sometimes make in his spare time.

 

Alright, so while I was playing through the previous chapter, I accidentally unlocked Rosie's potential.  I will not show these in the event that they might spoil plot elements, because normally they're unlocked after certain Reports.

I did unlock some other hidden potentials in the previous battle as well, but I think it might be best if I show these off after every two chapters... or at least skip this one because I don't want to interrupt the flow of the LP by interjecting a two-shot interlude with a gameplay segment.

So... yeah.  Here's another gameplay segment. RGaYS2c.png

Chapter 4-2: AND THE EARTH REFUSED TO DIE (Gameplay)

Spoiler

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We'll be working with the what now?

Also, how do you know about this op, Cap'n Carrot?  I never saw anyone tell you about it...

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And yes, the objective of this operation is to take control of the bridge controls, AKA the bridgehead.  We're essentially here to control the bridge to drop the vast majority of Imperial troops and tanks stationed there into the river.  Remember that it's a drawbridge, so this is actually a possibility.

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Ah, so this is a stealth mission?

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That's because it's where the bridge controls are.

Bear in mind that this area is basically a ghost town.  Most troops are advancing along the bridge, and have left a pretty small regulatory force meant to scare away potential stragglers.  They might be able to take on a platoon, but not when they don't know we're coming.

The biggest issue we'll face is potential reinforcements.  So essentially, we gotta get in there fast.  If the forces on the bridge get back here, we're mince meat.  Heh heh, WW2 references...

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Got it, so basically watch out for spooky ghost tanks and make sure the Imps don't try to pilot them.  That's a joke; they never pilot the tanks.

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Really now?

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We can blow those up to damage enemy tanks...

And when you blow them up, they demolish the tanks' treads and bring their health down to about a quarter health.  When tread HP is destroyed, the tank's AP is cut down to basically a sliver.  Don't know if I already explained that.

Though I also believe they can damage our units as well, so we should be careful.

Also, I just noticed something, and it could just be me, but...  Does anyone else think Welkin's face here looks just a smidge like the Kappa emote?  Just... slightly?

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Conditions.

10 turns is not a normal condition; we have to move much more quickly than is normally allowed.  Which honestly isn't even a problem for me.

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So for this mission, I'll be using:

  • Wavy
  • Lynn
  • Salinas
  • Elysse
  • Karl
  • Claudia
  • and Emile

Typically you don't want to deploy a sniper immediately unless it's a defense mission, but there's a sniper perch nearby and he'll prove very useful there.

I usually don't deploy as many people as possible unless it's a big operation that has people splitting into two teams, especially when there are multiple camps.  When we take an enemy camp, we can just deploy our units there instead, which is much more efficient than slogging a low AP unit all the way through the battlefield.

Also, some of these fielded units will not get used at all.  This is normal; you always want to have a few units on the field in the worst case scenarios.  That being said, some of the units I don't use all that much, I'll try to use more extensively in the next chapter.

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Yeh!  Gotta go FAST!

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Yes, but I'm not as crazy as Ellet.

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Tell him to shut the hell up!

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Already?!

Shit, they must've seen the flare!  Looks like the plot item just got us into some hot water.

Should've used purple smoke instead.

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Right, so we can't actually see that far ahead, so this is what things look like for now.

We don't really have to worry about defending our base camp at all; none of the enemies will try to take it.  There's a massive pile of rubble straight ahead, so we'll want to flank around to the east, taking down the enemy camps along the way.  Eventually after going through a narrow street, we'll come upon a wide open road leading directly to the bridge that is home to at least three active Imperial tanks.  Across the road is also a sniper and a lancer hiding out in a building, and in the base camp, we'll find a couple infantry troops crouched behind sandbags, waiting to fire upon anyone who comes near.

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And pretty much right next to our sniper is a tower he can climb for a good vantage point...

There are already plenty of enemies he could shoot at, but he only has 3 rounds at the moment.  So let's use them wisely.  I did say that snipers are capable of interception fire, but not all of them are; only the ones with infinite ammo are.  We'll get access to them later.

First... right next to the scout that's currently targeted, there's an active tank and one of those ragnite fuel containers just sitting there.

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So I shot it.

First of all, look at that bastard's health go down!  We pretty much only need to fire one lancaar round at it and it's toast.

Secondly, when you're aiming with a sniper, instead of the usual aiming perspective, you look through the scope and can zoom in or out.  There's no advantage to shooting zoomed out, so once you spot your target, zoom all the way in.

But we're not done with him yet...

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This will make it easier for our infantry to advance to that first camp.

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Also gonna blow up another ragnite container close to a different tank.

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And I'll have Emile sit here so that he doesn't get shot at by enemy snipers...

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Next, let's use Elysse.

Lemme tell you something about this girl, okay?  This chick pretty much always sounds like she's high.  She's always like, "Gaaaaawwwwwt eeeeeeeeet," or "Oooookaaaaay," and her tone just sounds like she doesn't care about anything.  Her voice sounds like a typical valley girl.

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest.  Let's kill a tank.

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Oh, and when she kills something, she goes "Yaaaaaayyyy..."

I think it's supposed to reflect her "slow starter" trait.  You know, speaking slowly?  I dunno...  It just sounds silly to me.

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Uh...  Um...  Wat?

So in spite of a sniper destroying an explosive container, some dude right across the road having his head blown off, and this chick literally firing an anti-tank shell right next to him, this idiot scout doesn't notice anything wrong.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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*In Odin Dark's voice* The chosen hero arrives!

Actually, this might not be the best map to deploy her in since paved roads are her weakness.

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Aaaaaannnnnd... bam, perfect screenshot!

Alright so the scout didn't turn around, and there are literally no other enemies in this area.  Why do you think she lost about a third of her health?

Well, you notice that sharp orange line to the left?

That's a bullet... and it supposedly hit Lynn.

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This is the fucker that shot that round.

These guys are the reason people have a hard time with this mod.  If you go into the comments section for this mod, you'll find so many people bellyaching about enemy snipers and how they're "too OP".  Unlike in the vanilla game, snipers are now capable of interception fire, as I've said before.  But only sniper rifles with infinite ammo can do this.  And all enemy sniper rifles now have infinite ammo.

This essentially knocks them up from easily avoidable trash units to outright fatal for all infantry units.  These guys are worse than tanks!

But I'm not letting these dickbags defeat me.  I will defeat every sniper in this game.  I'll make them my bitches.  I don't care if I have to use the tank or sacrifice good ranks to do it.  I'm about to show y'all how it's done!

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Who's with me?!

 

...

 

Ahem.  Anyway...

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"I'll shoot," she says...

Uh, I... I certainly hope you will?

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Then she says "Awaiting orders!" here.

My order here is for you to not get killed by that asshole sniper across the street.  Also to hurry up and unlock your hidden potential already so that I can show people how broken you actually can be.

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Uh...  Good news and bad news.

The good news is the sniper can't seem to shoot at her anymore.

The bad news is that she can't quite reach the enemy camp to capture it...

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Well... sit tight, Lynn.  It certainly won't be the last time I use you, that's for sure.

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Next is Stone Wall Jackson, AKA Wavy.

He's just gonna capture that camp and scout a little bit.

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There we go...

And I scoot him up by some inactive tanks so that he has some cover.

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I also scoot the tank up...

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And I try, but fail to snipe the lancer...

Battlefield, this is not.

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I also run Karl Sagan up to heal up Lyndis.  Trust me, she'll need every last point of HP for what's about to happen.

I figured that I might not use him too much in the future, so I'll use him as much as I can here.

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So the enemy has seven CPs.  What will they do with all of them?

Well, they intend to be huge dicks, that's what.

Exhibit A:

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Shocktrooper coming at us.

Exhibit B:

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Fuck this guy.

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Exhibit C:

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He's going again.

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HOLY SHIT!

Lynn, YOU MONSTER!

She doesn't even have any of her really good potentials and already she's proving to be one of the most badass members of my team!

What.  The.  Fuck???

And... that's all the enemy did!  Great use of a turn, huh?

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So since my sniper is behind a bit, I thought it'd be prudent to deploy this one here.

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...

And I forgot you have to wait a turn before they actually deploy.

Great, I wasted a CP.

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Alright Emile, you sickly little boy...  I'm about to drag you up to the camp so that you can snipe that dickhead sniper.

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You can't see it in this picture, but the sniper narrowly missed Emile.

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AWW, COME ON, MAN!

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Second try...  This time the bastard actually hit Emile.  Might not get a third try at this, so you better make it count this time!

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This is what the enemy situation looks like, btw.  It isn't as bad as it might seem; if I can have a team flank the tanks to the north and mortar the base camp, it's basically as good as mine.

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More scouting with the Boy Scouts leader.

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Also just gonna shoot this guy.

Ready to see what I do next?  Are you?  You think I'll rush in with Lynn, maybe have Karl heal her after?

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Think again!

Not even I know why I did this.

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Huh...

I guess she didn't outright kill him because she didn't have that Weapon Triangle Advantage I hear all the cool kids talking about so much.

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Also went after this tank for some reason, even though its tread HP is now non-existent.

The amount of HP it has left pisses me off to no end.

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Finally sending the Marquess of Caelin to schüt the enemy.

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And sending her healer not!Serra to... heal her.

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And to take cover.  He's gonna stay away from Lyndis so that we don't get mortared.

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Now it's the enemy turn, and this useless tank is trying to flee.  How cute...

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Metal Gear is moving!

This could be really bad.

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WHAT THE F-

HOW ARE YOU-

THAT THING HIT YOUR GODDAMN FACE!

I guess Karl is immortal as well as Lynn.  No wonder they got together.

I, too, remember the story Karl Pilkington told about how he received a 50+mm tank shell to the face and survived.

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The Lancer comes down from the roof to...

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Also try to shell the shit out of Karl, but he's having none of that!

Maybe I should use him more often, jeez...

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And this scout is coming to...

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Try to give Wavy the Boy Scout some pointers.  Little did he know that Wavy's one of the proud leaders of the Boy Scouts of Gallia, and so he already knows all the ropes.

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Well, now...

This is a good note to take a break on.  Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion of this battle among gods.

 

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I admit I have not been in that many LPs but serious props. I always log in to SF to check if this and one other FE8 LP updated. I think it is fun so far but what I like is that you engage with people a lot and that always counts :>
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30 minutes ago, Ertrick36 said:

Ah, so this is a stealth mission?

When Lt. Gunther shot a freaking flare high up in the sky?? What were they thinking...

 

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

Cap'n Carrot

You know... Since Largo is into vegetables and stuff...

 

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

This chick pretty much always sounds like she's high.

lmao, true! I completely forgot about her! Good of you to take her :D

 

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

This essentially knocks them up from easily avoidable trash units to outright fatal for all infantry units.

Wait, wait, wait! What?? So how does that work? Do the enemy snipers automatically take pot-shots at your units when they are running willy-nilly in the open and then slowly reload before firing again? Wow! THIS is the first major stuff in this mod D:

 

1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

Lynn, YOU MONSTER!

LMAO! Wow! The one Darcsen Rosie has nothing against, I suppose. This is Fire Emblem level of luck. Like when you send your pathetic unit up front and they freaking dodge and critical ALL of the opposition D:


Catherine was there a bit but... I guess I will start a counter.
Catherine Usefulness Counter (CUC): +0 -> 0

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6 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

I admit I have not been in that many LPs but serious props. I always log in to SF to check if this and one other FE8 LP updated. I think it is fun so far but what I like is that you engage with people a lot and that always counts :>

Well thanks, man.  It isn't so difficult to engage with folks in this LP, but even if it was for whatever reason, I'd still endeavor to do so as much as I can to interact with people.

I'm just naturally engaged in the things I enjoy doing; I remember in my first psychology class in college I was very much engaged, always replying, raising my hand, and just generally interacting with the educator.  I haven't really LP'd much before, but I enjoy just commenting on one of my favorite games and interacting with others who are also interested in the game.

1 hour ago, MadJak91 said:

lmao, true! I completely forgot about her! Good of you to take her :D

I actually was pondering on whether or not to dismiss her if someone else shows up.  For one thing, I'm short on lancers.  And for another thing, this was only due to me not really knowing her all that much.  I find her manner of speech entertaining enough that I'd want to keep her on the team regardless.

28 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

Wait, wait, wait! What?? So how does that work? Do the enemy snipers automatically take pot-shots at your units when they are running willy-nilly in the open and then slowly reload before firing again? Wow! THIS is the first major stuff in this mod D:

To quote the official mod page on this topic: "Snipers have a small interception radius and turn more slowly than other units to face you when preparing to fire."

Snipers take pot-shots at you very slowly (like one shot every five or ten seconds, I think), and but if you're going at them from an angle, they'll turn slowly enough that they might not even shoot you at all.  And like most non-scout units, they won't shoot at all if you're coming at their 3/9 o'clock or further around behind them.

Later on, we'll get this ability for our snipers and more.  Our snipers will also get Anti-Tank rifles, which are extremely useful for a certain chapter where you're unable to use Lancaars or explosives on a certain vehicle.

Another thing you'll probably see in the next chapter is Anti-Tank Cannons - that is, those mounted turrets that fire AT shells - are also capable of interception fire in this mod.  Which will probably make the Ghirlandio approach a pain.

45 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

LMAO! Wow! The one Darcsen Rosie has nothing against, I suppose. This is Fire Emblem level of luck. Like when you send your pathetic unit up front and they freaking dodge and critical ALL of the opposition D:

Between Lute the tank driver and the great Princess of the Sacae Plains, Rosie had better watch her back.

I do like Lynn a lot and think she's one of the best units in the game, but even then I was still genuinely surprised by how all that turned out.  RNGoddess Anna must be watching over me, praise be RGaYS2c.png

54 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

Catherine was there a bit but... I guess I will start a counter.
Catherine Usefulness Counter (CUC): +0 -> 0

CUC?  Is that an intentional pun?

I don't recall if I ever used her in that mission... but if I didn't, I'll make up for it in the next one.

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After a momentary respite that involved pretty much choking on a thick layer of smoke from wildland fires, I'm back to present to you some more VC RGaYS2c.png

Spoiler

Seriously, yesterday the smoke obscured everything even just a block away, and it smelled like a campfire within my own home.  It was like a fog, except dry and really bad for your lungs.  One of my friends with asthma can't even set foot outside anymore.  This fire season sucks.

Chapter 4-3: Maybe Darcsens Did Cause the Calamity

Spoiler

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So where we last left off (in case you don't feel like reading the previous segment for whatever reason), we learned that Lyndis and her lover are basically immortal...

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And Catherine arrived!

What will she do?

Absolutely nothing!

Why?

Because I don't need snipers anymore for this op, that's why.

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Let's have Lyndis kill that dumb scout creeping around our camp...

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And I'm gonna have these three move up by that rubble...

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And have Mr. Sagan heal himself.

Notice how I have all my units bunched up?  Don't ever do this.  It's never a good idea.

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Meanwhile, I'm gonna get this big boy up a bit...

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Blasting these inactive tanks just 'cuz.  And I ran out of AP, but that's totally unrelated.

And yes, I do destroy it.

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Moving in some more!

It's really cumbersome to move the tank around.  Not only does it eat up CPs like Goku from Dragon Ball eats up a feast, it also doesn't have much AP for moving around.

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Sorry Wavy.

Also, you see that Lancer to the right there?

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He ded.

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Might as well put this sad little bastard out of its misery...

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That measly six HP can't save a tank from an explosive shell.

RIP, tank.  We hardly knew ye.

Also placed Elysse where Karl was previously in our base camp, but didn't screen cap it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now it's the enemy turn, and-

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Uh, wot?

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Oh... well now.

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That's not good!

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Wait a minute, wat?

I could only imagine the enemy's response being something like "When did we conscript Lucina into our ranks?"  The East Europan Empire took over Ylisse, and now Lucina has to work with them in order to gain freedom.

In case you haven't noticed, there're, like, no girls in the Imperial Army that we've seen.  Heck, as far as I know, there's only one woman in the whole army, and she doesn't tend to join the fray all that often.  Not to mention she has a much deeper voice.

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Yo!

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Did this seriously work?

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Well...

now she's...

Corporal Superior Cold Blooded Overachieving Worldwide Tank Driving Killer Fast-Thinking Code-Talker the Post Apocalyptic Time Travelling Exalt of Ylisse, Europa, and Magvel.

Holy shit, Isara, you keep this up, you'll wind up having more achievements to your name than all the Valkyria combined!

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Right, so what we avoided by taking the two enemy mid-camps here is reinforcements.  Sometimes, the enemy will request reinforcements for their camps, much in the same way we do.  If you see them trying to call in reinforcements, you can cancel it out by capturing the enemy camp before the reinforcements arrive.  Otherwise, you'll have more bodies to deal with.

Anyway, the enemy hasn't actually moved yet...

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Uh...

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These assholes really like to fire their main cannons at infantry, don't they?

Then again, who am I to talk?

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ANOTHER ONE?!

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You might not be able to tell, but this time she ducked.

Remember: If a tank is ever taking aim at you with its main cannon, crouching down will form a protective layer that will help mitigate the damage.

Trust me; I Googled it.  That makes me an expert.

Also, HOLY SHIT, SHE'S STILL ALIVE!

My units are extremely good at not dying.

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Not this one t- wait, where's it going?

Oh no, it's not going for the guys I have bunched up, is it?

Actually, no it's not.  It's going after...

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Welkin, could you please not say you're "under minor fire"?  Your tank is clearly being battered like a tin can.

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That...  Was all the enemy had in 'em.  So let's finish this up before they go for another round.  We've got 10 CPs, I think I could get everything done that I want to get done here.

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The first thing I need to do is take out the tank to the north because this plan call for us to use one of those troops to run across and capture the enemy base camp.

Man, I hope that tank's machine gun doesn't activate...

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Phew, good.  Now I can proceed further...

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You're already dead.

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Now you'll see why it was important to bring this thing up that extra little bit.

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That's right.  Let's give these lazy bastards a workout!

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IS THIS WHAT "CRACKING OPEN A COLD ONE WITH THE BOYS" LOOKS LIKE?!  ISARA THE WORLD EATING MOTHER OF DEATH IS UNIMPRESSED!

Spoiler

I'm not adding that to her title; she's already earned enough titles for today.

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Also killed this guy with the tank...

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RrrrrrraaaaaAAAAAAAA!!!  FREEDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

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While Lynn is charging at the enemy like a madwoman, Wavy will make sure there aren't any other enemies.  Not a glamorous job, but somebodies gotta do it.

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You're dead, and...

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When did Valkyria Chronicles become an FPS???

Spoiler

This is not a replacement for ANGERY Alicia; it's to express frustration and confusion.

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A rare and exclusive perspective.

We get to have a glimpse of what death looks like in the eyes of Princess Lyndis, the tribal war chief.

Perhaps in seeing this, we can further understand the mind of a professional killer.  Perhaps being behind the smoking gun will give us the insight we need to comprehend one who cares not for the pain and suffering of others.

Maybe the Darcsen Calamity wasn't caused by magic or bombs...  Maybe it was simply two women with guns who had a vendetta against the world.  Two women who might have been wronged in a past life.  Two women who never got the respect they deserve, the attention they crave... or the love they needed.

Maybe that's all we need to prevent tragedy; love.  For is it not often the case that a murderer feels unloved?  Did the likes of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, or Kim Il-Sun never get told they were loved by their parents?  Had Charlie Manson never received a genuine, loving hug borne out of not drug-fueled passion, but clear and sober compassion?

Perhaps we'll never know...  And perhaps we'll be doomed to repeat this cycle of death and tragedy for the rest of our existence.

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By the way, I completed the mission.  Good job, Lynn! RGaYS2c.png

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Yeh!  Gotta go fast!

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Wait, why are you not in the tank anymore?  And is there no one in the control room, or...

Actually, I think I know what happened to the people manning the bridge controls.

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Dammit, Welkin, don't encourage her!

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And it is in this moment that Isara's murderous work had truly begun.  This time won't just be half a dozen chums or so... she'll be responsible for the deaths of about a hundred men.  Possibly three hundred or more, depending on what type of unit is occupying the bridge at the moment.  Since the forces defending the west side are a battalion, I'm assuming the Imps match that number, so three hundred or more would be the accurate one.

Isara's about to commit government-sanctioned mass murder.  And people are gonna celebrate it.

...

Spoiler

Though in case you feel sorry for the dudes on the bridge...

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Let me assure you that every single one of these mother fuckers deserves to die.  And if they don't, then tough shit.

Spoiler

I'm sorry, Blah the Prussian.

 

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Results.

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I didn't get an A-rank?

Well... whatever!  The point is, this mission is done.  Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion... probably at some point later today.

 

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18 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

The East Europan Empire

#triggered
 

19 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Remember: If a tank is ever taking aim at you with its main cannon, crouching down will form a protective layer that will help mitigate the damage.

I am chuckling because I remembered the Command and Conquer series and how in some games the infantry starts crawling when attacked with rockets or such. I think your expertise and experiments proved this further!!
 

19 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

I'm not adding that to her title

Pff! Keep adding lmao! Even if you later drop the joke, I want to know how far Isara can go :D
 

19 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

For is it not often the case that a murderer feels unloved?

"...some men are not looking for anything logical, like money. They cannot be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
And some drive a freaking tank across the river.
 

19 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Isara's about to commit government-sanctioned mass murder.  And people are gonna celebrate it.

Statistics. Just statistics. Also patriotism.
At least we are on the right forum. Elsewhere people would immediately jump at you, I think ;D


It actually makes me happy to see that the aim circle on Lancers makes them much more usable. That is a huge difference. I always facepalmed when my Lancer was standing THIS close to a tank radiator but... the missile (or whatever) went in like 80 degrees angle and missed -_-; That should not even be possible!

CUC: -1 -> -1

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1 hour ago, MadJak91 said:

Pff! Keep adding lmao! Even if you later drop the joke, I want to know how far Isara can go :D
 

At least we are on the right forum. Elsewhere people would immediately jump at you, I think ;D


It actually makes me happy to see that the aim circle on Lancers makes them much more usable. That is a huge difference. I always facepalmed when my Lancer was standing THIS close to a tank radiator but... the missile (or whatever) went in like 80 degrees angle and missed -_-; That should not even be possible!

- I'll keep adding to the title, don't you worry.  Just not for that instance.

- I'd hope that people would be able to take that as a joke and not a serious remark on the morality of warfare or an attempt to invoke memories of a real-world atrocity.  But this is the internet, so anything goes.

- Lancers were such a burden in the original game that it seriously was better for me to just send shocktroopers behind the tanks instead.  Now I have a lot more incentive to use them.

 

Sorry for the delay.  I got distracted watching some dumb Swede play through Half-Life poorly.  Maybe the G Man should hire Isara; she's proven to be almost as resourceful as Gordon or Adrian, and she isn't even a full adult yet.

This time, we'll have a the closing segment for this chapter, a character recruitment segment, and a minor interlude all in one convenient package.

Chapter 4-4: Isara Gets Shafted Again and Flowers Are Layabout Losers

Spoiler

So where we last left off, Isara just threw the switch for the drawbridge...

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an action which will result in about three hundred Imperial deaths.

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"No regrets, 'Commander' Maximillian." - Isara Gunther, AKA Corporal Superior Cold Blooded Overachieving Worldwide Tank Driving Genocidal Fast-Thinking Code-Talker the Post Apocalyptic Time Travelling Exalt of Ylisse, Europa, Black Mesa, and Magvel and G-Approved Interdimensional Agent

Spoiler

The full line was cut from the game due to it containing direct references to the Holocaust.

Also, that looks like so many fewer men than I thought were on the bridge.

Gotta figure there's at least a few dozen on there regardless.  It's still the most Isara's killed in any battle up until this moment.

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Well...  It wasn't just Welkin.  This wouldn't have been possible without Isara, Lynn, Emile, Wavy, Karl, or Elysse.  Make sure to give them proper accolades when all is said and done.

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Welkin's done with your bullshit, Cap'n Crunch.

omfg, I just found a new reaction pic.

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Yeah!

I'm sure the river smells much worse than either Lynn or Isara do!  I mean, how much of it do you think is contaminated with organic waste, ragnite pollution, and gun powder?  That's gotta really stink up the river, man.

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Yeah, why don't you kiss and make up with that "stinkin' dark-hair" now, eh?

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I think I accidentally replaced actual Alicia with anime Alicia because she's always so ANGERY.

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I like Largo.  He's reasonably skeptical, but when he sees definitive proof that his skepticism was probably misplaced, he sucks it up and goes along with it instead of pushing against it.

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Without Isara, your ass wouldn't even have gotten here with the tank.  At least give credit where credit is due.

Actually, you weren't even here in the first place.  Don't talk shit when you haven't done anything useful yourself.

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How did you get here???

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Yes, thanks to the Platoon's hard work.

I find Welkin to be a relatable character.  Not because I think of myself as a brilliant tactician or a legendary hero or anyone all that smart in the first place, but because he's almost too willing to give credit to others and doesn't really care to use the attention he gets for personal gain.

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Yeah, how does Welkin feel about draining the swamp?

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That... scarcely relates to the battle that just took place.

I mean yeah, it took place on a bridge... sorta.  And the objective centered around it.  But... I dunno, I get the feeling Ellet was looking for something with more of a general application.

He isn't wrong, though.  Have you ever tried to board a ferry across a river?  Trust me, it's more convenient to take a bridge.

Spoiler

Just kidding; one time when I was in Seattle, I got stuck in traffic for, like, an hour.  I'd take ferries over that any day of the week.

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Welkin is a doormat protagonist confirmed; he wants Isara and Rosie to step all over him.

Then we cut to this scene...

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Eh?

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Do you just keep an endless supply of Lion's Paw seeds in a satchel?

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Yay, we're back to the good, not-ANGERY Alicia! RGaYS2c.png

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I'd almost be inclined to turn this into a reaction if I didn't already have this one:

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but maybe there's room for variety...

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Those damn flowers will just sit around all day, mating with each other and leaching off taxpayer money.

So that's the end of the mission.  When we next see our heroes, they'll be getting ready for a different mission in a different region altogether.  So look forward to that, eh?

Recruitment: Team Darcsen Complete

Spoiler

So someone showed up that I wanted to recruit, so I had to let go of someone...

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Aw, why did she have to actually be a willing member of my team?  And one who wasn't really annoying?  Makes me feel genuinely bad to let her go...

Well... I hope her bad luck doesn't get her killed out there.  Maybe she'll get fortunate and come across Setsuna and Arthur, and they can all revel in their bad luck.

But with old blood leaving, we get new blood arriving.

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And it's the last Darcsen; the only one who takes on a class that's probably actually suited to what you'd expect from a Darcsen.  Also, if anything I'll be coming to you for help because apparently Darcsens are badass killers.

About Engineer Nadine: In spite of her taking on the role of engineer, she actually is an aspiring writer, having earned a Master's in literature (she's 27, btw).  With this degree, she hopes to publish a smut romance novel that'll appeal to the general public.  Like Lynn, she's willing to find friends beyond those of her own race, and she's die-hard devoted to them.

An interesting thing to note is that in the manga, she gets romantically involved with/crushes on one of the other playable characters who is a racist, Cezary.  I think this implies that it's canon that Nadine gets together with Cezary.  Or if it isn't, then it's my head canon.  The anime kills off Cezary, btw, but the anime tends to stray away from the game's canon anyway from what I understand.

Potentials:

Spoiler
  • Pollen Allergy
  • Darcsen Bond
  • Camaraderie: When near allies of the same class, her evasion increases.  With the mod, this is changed to all stats to make it more worthwhile to bunch up characters of the same class.

Likes: Wavy, Zaka

Assessment:

Spoiler

She actually was probably one of the units I used most in my initial playthrough of VC.

She eventually gets a potential that's the exact same as Lynn's Hard Worker.  But it's the last battle potential she unlocks, so it'll be some time before I can make use of it.  Generally speaking, she isn't a bad engineer, though none of them are all that great.

If you have her run with a Darcsen unit with maybe one other engineer (especially Dallas, who would love being around Lynn and Nadine), then you can increase her effectiveness.  She winds up being an engineer who can handle combat better than any other engineer, acquiring potentials that boost both her defense and attack power.  This makes her the engineer with the most survivability, her only competition being Homer.

So overall...  Yeah, I think she's a decent unit.  She's like one of those armor knights who have decent or somewhat mediocre defense growths, but excellent speed growths; not necessarily what they're supposed to specialize in, but it isn't a bad thing, either.

 

Interlude Fo- wait, where was I?

Spoiler

I miscounted and labeled Interlude 3 as "Interlude 4" instead.

So first stop, I'm gonna see the Writing on the Wall.  What mad scribblings will we get to read today?

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  • Militia Claims Vasel Bridge: Militia takes back the Vasel Bridge from the Imperial troops, securing a vital trade artery and giving Randgriz some breathing room and proving that the Gallians are still kicking.
  • Gallia to Pull Out of North: The Gallian Army pulls out of the northern region after the Empire takes Fouzen, a general manufacturing city, which has left officials reeling; no plans to take back the city have been announced.

Note: Fouzen is an important manufacturing city that also is the center of a ragnite mining operation; the Empire later turns it into a Darcsen Work Camp.  When we come upon one of these, it won't be nearly as grizzly or graphic as scenes from Concentration Camps in Nazi-occupied lands, but there are certainly parallels that might make some uncomfortable.

Next, let's see what hidden potentials we've unlocked in the previous battles.  Aside from Rosie's, of course.

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So Karl got Head-Lit Deer, which is a negative potential.  When an enemy counterattacks, he'll simply not dodge sometimes.  It sometimes is better to try to keep units from unlocking their hidden potentials, as they kind of such sometimes.

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Edy got Rosie Hater, another bad potential.  When Rosie's nearby, her attack power drops.  Luckily, because we won't be using Rosie, it will never proc.

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And finally, Lynn got her potential Hard Worker, which is probably the most broken potential a shocktrooper can acquire.  While Rosie gets the Double Attack potential, which makes her fire at an enemy twice (without any input from the player), this potential will let Lynn pick what she does next when it procs.  This makes her one of the best candidates to send out to kill a group of enemies, and once she acquires Full HP Recovery, she's effectively invincible.

Now that I have this potential, you'll get to see just how broken Lynn can be, even with this mod installed.

 

Let's go to the Cemetery to see if Old Man Raiden has any new potentials for us.

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Uh...  It might be a little obvious from the... typo here, but this isn't a potential that exists in the vanilla game.

He doesn't even say "True Awakening"; he says "Medic Request", which I'm pretty confident is much different from what this one will be.

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Inside an... inside an...

"allie"???

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I'm pretty sure the creator of this mod isn't a native English speaker, so this is an understandable mistake.

But this whole scene is just... bizarre.  The text doesn't match what the voice is saying at all.  He's talking about the Medic Request order, but the text is talking about something else altogether.  This is almost worse than "We managed to avoid drowning".

Anyway, now we can have Isara perform the Awakening ritual to give her minions power.  I'm not sure what this order actually does.  I think it's just a more powerful version of Awaken Potential.  I'll probably use it on Lynn so that she'll activate Hard Worker, like, five times in one go.

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And finally, some more levels, just to show how things are progressing.  It seems like units are getting Battle Potentials at a quicker rate than I remember.  Lancers already have two battle potentials, and all other classes have one.

Also getting plenty of orders.

And that should wrap things up for this chapter.  Next time around, we'll get to finally see the main enemies, Welkin makes Alicia hold deer poop, Alicia finds something akin to a pig, and I get to do a mission I had to retry, like, two other times before.  Look forward to that.

 

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Chapter 5-1: Villains, Goat Poop, and Winged Pigs (Intro Scene)

Spoiler

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If the chapter title doesn't make it obvious enough, our next op will be in the woods.  Let's see why, though.

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So the gist of it is after we secured the bridge, the enemy fled to regroup in Central Gallia.  The Central Forces will take on that front and most likely fail miserably like they always do.  Meanwhile, we'll be given the chump assignments.  One such is this mission to secure an enemy supply line.  Note that we won't be needing to take the supplies; just the base so that we can cut off an avenue of supply for our enemy.  That being said, it'd be nice if we could secure those supplies so that the enemy can't use them.

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So you traveled all the way from Bruhl to this southern forest?

Well, guys, I guess we've found Mister Worldwide.  He's not taking on all the other titles, though.

Also, if Welkin has a hard time traversing through that forest, then it ought to be a complete nightmare for these city slickers.

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Captain Carrot now sending Largo and Welkin into veggie territory.

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See what I mean?  These city folk don't stand a chance.  It'd be better if we just send Wavy the Boy Scout, Largo the Veggie Maniac, and Welkin the Bug Lover there instead of these losers.

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Wah wah, I get it.

Also, every operation from now on will be our "toughest yet".  If this is what it takes to break you, then gtfo.

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Not really relevant to the discussion, Welkin.

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Yeah, what he said.

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If that was supposed to be your point, you should've given a relevant example instead of just starting on a tangent about insects or whatever.

Also, this is foreshadowing.

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"Thanks, man.  Isara just really likes tinkering with keys in forestry for some reason.  Some shit about 'blades' and a mouse or whatever.  Did I ever tell you about our trip to Disneyland?"

Wouldn't it be cool if Isara built keyblade bayonets for our units?

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Huehuehue.

If we're lucky, maybe that plant will eat the enemies and their supplies.

We then cut to this scene.

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This is Ghirlandio, everyone; this is where the main enemy base in the Gallian front is situated.  Our first glimpse of the enemy commanders is upon us.  Are you excited yet?

The people we're about to meet are all part of the group known as the Triumviri (also known as the Drei Stern).  They are the direct subordinates of the Gallian invasion's commander, Maximilian, and all of them are in charge of the over-arching strategy behind this invasion.

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First is man who always looks like he hates you and local train enthusiast Major General Berthold Gregor.

Do not forget Gregor!

He's a very typical nobleman.  Hates peasants, believes that the only people that are worthwhile are the nobility and those who serve closely to him, and seems to be a xenophobe.

And he's about to showcase all of these traits in this one scene here.

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I don't know if shit-talking your comrades is the best idea, dude.

Also gee, look at this albino woman.  There's no way she is gonna be more important than these other dudes.

Yeah, I know her hair is silver and not white, but I don't really give a crap.

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Some other dude chimes in.

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Meet the only man with a metal arm and goat skull pauldron and the one guy in the Imperial higher ups that isn't an elitist asshole Major General Radi Jaeger.

Dude actually doesn't care about the Empire unlike Gregor.  He's from the Kingdom of Fhirald currently under Imperial control, which I assume is basically the equivalent of Austria or one of the other nations that surrendered peacefully to Germany in World War 2.  He hopes that by fighting with the Empire, he can win back independence for his kingdom.  Typical "working for the bad guy to complete his own objectives" type stuff, except he isn't a total asshole.

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Do you WANT to see how much of a barbarian the good Corporal can be?!

Don't worry; we'll later blow him up with the assistance of Steve Blum.  Yes, really.

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I mean, look at the dude's face.

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Does he look like he even knows the definition of "fun"?

Maybe we ought to send Spongebob in to sing the FUN Song for him.

Spoiler

"F" is for Fire that burns down the whole town!

"U" is for Uranium... bombs!

"N" is for No survivors!

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And here's local albino and woman with the second largest breasts in the game Brigadier General Selvaria Bles.

Spoiler

We all know who really has the largest breasts in this game...

Spoiler

 

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Tell me this guy isn't hiding some massive man-boobs under that jacket!  Convince me!

 

Also, why is Selvaria of a lower rank than the others in spite of her being arguably the most successful member of this group?

Selvaria isn't particularly prejudiced nor does she care much about nationality, but she's very loyal to Maximilian.  She is also the one antagonist that receives the most screen time (except maybe Maximillian himself), characterization, and is the woman that appears above Welkin and Alicia on the boxart for the game.  And she's pretty much the most popular character in the game, serving as a sort of mascot for the franchise as well as making a cameo in the other two mainline games and showing up in every line of merchandise for the game.

We'll also see later on that it really isn't a good idea to fuck with this lady, especially when she acquires that Weapon Triangle Advantage with a lance unlike any you've seen before.  More of a reason to like her; she has good taste in weapons, just like a certain fashionista we all know and love.

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Yeah, I think that's the obvious approach, isn't it?

Also, why do they have a map of Europa as a whole?  That's almost entirely irrelevant to them because they're only the forces that are taking on Gallia.  I guess so that they understand what their invasion will do in the grand scheme of things.  And to remind Maximilian how little impact he actually has.

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Seriously, though...  If the other generals didn't also have fairly unique appearances, she'd look more out of place than Faldio does in this shot:

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Hopefully these aren't blue flames you're talking about.

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And finally, we have the main man himself - the guy who is certainly not compensating for something - Prince Maximilian.

"Prince" might indicate that he's a pretty important figure, but he's just one of many children of the Emperor.  In fact, he's probably the least respected Prince in the Empire, which is probably why he got handed this invasion.

You'll find he has a huge obsession with acquiring the most powerful weapons, vehicles, and personnel.  Like, that's his MO.  It's almost as if he cares more about acquiring as much power as humanly possible than he does about invading Gallia.

There's an actual reason for this, but for now I'll just assume he's... compensating.

Also, he always refers to himself with plurals.  It's not often that he does so, as usually his first-person plurals refer to him and the generals or Imperial troops, but it happens.

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Typical royalty with their long-ass capes...

I hope that when Isara has wiped out his entire army and is at his doorstep, he at least sets that ridiculous garment to the side, or else the final battle will be a massive disappointment because he'll probably trip over the damn thing.

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Shit, he knows where the 7th Platoon is going!

Well, it's more that the supply route is actually fairly important.  Important enough that he'd actually send one of these generals down to secure it.

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So Damon will be fighting Gregor and his little trains...

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Selvaria will head to what is actually one of the ends of the Earth with Maximillian...

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And we'll get to fight the cool dude.

Honestly, I'm kinda glad for that.  Much rather see his mug on the field first than...

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this one.

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They actually do know where we are!

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Is this supposed to be...

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Sorta, I guess.

Given that it's Sega, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if this hand gesture was inspired by Sonic.

Can someone look up "Jaegar the Hedgehog" for me?  Or hell, even do "Selvaria the Hedgehog" or "Isara the Hedgehog".

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Next we cut to a scene in... yes, the woods.

Can confirm that this is indeed a forest.

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Cap'n Carrot sent you out here, that's who.

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Rosie's an anti-environmentalist, confirm.

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Nah, that's easy.

You look down, there's the tree trunk and some roots.

You look up, there's the branches.

It really isn't that hard.

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Meanwhile, Welkin's got his attention fixated on...

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Okay, living in a city where deer frequent people's backyards and the roads, I can tell right away that these are poop pellets of some kind.

Welkin, why are you obsessing over poop?

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Well, I suppose you can make a map out of...

No wait, please don't.  I don't want to think about the story where Ozzy Osbourne tried to make art on some hotel room walls with his own crap.  I've got enough crap going on with my stomach and lungs dealing with smoke fogs; I don't need something to actually come of it.

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*Nomah Shrugging intensifies*

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Suddenly, a wild Alicia appears.

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Why do you need ANYONE to hold shit pellets?

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Oh, you sweet summer child...

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Not quite deer droppings, but close enough.  It's the kind of crap that herbivores tend to produce; tiny pellets.

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Naturally, she's repulsed.

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Look at Isara off to the right here...

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She looks like she just wants this nonsense to end.  Also like she might want to kill Alicia, but that's another story.

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Wow, I'm finding reaction pics right and left.

Also, now we're back to Anime 'Licia.  At least we don't have Anime Welkin; then we'd all be fucked.

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Look at what, Welkin?  Do you want Alicia to stuff her face in dog piss this time?

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Wow, no need to crowd around him, people.

Look at how close Rosie is to Isara.  For someone who supposedly hates Darcsens, she's awfully intent on getting really close to her.  Is this gonna turn into a tsundere yuri type thing?

Spoiler

Please, Rosie; she's only sixteen.

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Kinda hard to see that, honestly...

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Is this the new Metal Gear Survive game I've been hearing about?  Looks pretty swell...

How will this lead us to the enemy base?

What insane animal wants to go where there are tanks, guns, and glowing explosive canisters?

I know that I mentioned not that long ago that deer frequent my town's suburban areas, but it's only because they're typically safe from predators and wildfires in such places.  I'm pretty sure animals wouldn't actively seek out a noisy, hostile enemy camp that's probably seen a few firefights.

But whatever.  Apparently this'll bring us to the enemy base.

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Isara with that damn stink-eye again!

And it looks like Rosie wants to play Goat Sim...

which is probably why Isara's giving her "the eye".  She thinks it's an overrated PoS.

Next, we come upon this scene...

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Rosie's singing, in case you couldn't tell.

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Lost in Thoughts All Alone, from the hit Japanese Simulation RPG Fire Emblem: Fates.

You think Azura would mind Rosie stealing her one song?

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Lore that already was established...

Also, hehe, she's now got rosy-cheeks.

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Yeah, and I'd like to hear if it actually has lyrics, or if it just goes "la la la" all throughout the song.

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Yeah, that'd be nice...

Maybe even before the war is over?

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Suddenly, brussels sprouts have come to attack us!

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Things got super serious.

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Alicia asks whoever is in the grass to give her some jazz hands...

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But it turns out the target doesn't have hands...

...

.....

.......

.........

Spoiler

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Incidentally, all of these characters are in my Platoon.

Also it's voiced by a dude.  It's not even like Yoshi, where the audio is pitched way up; it's just a guy making the noise.

And instead of "oink" it goes "moink".

What the hell is this thing?

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Wow, Isara is a biologist?

She's even taking Welkin's one job!

Truly, Darcsens are a menace of society and need to be deported ASAP.

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Alicia may have skinny arms, but she's strong enough to pick up a pig and cradle it.

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Now Valkyria Chronicles comes with stories.

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Prepare to be shocked and disturbed...

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That is how we can tell we're getting close to the supply camp.

Oh wait, that isn't how I'm supposed to react to this revelation...

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Thank you, Largo.  That's how I'm supposed to react.

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Uh, I'm sorry, what?

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We're gonna conscript a fucking pig into our army!

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I had to bring that in at some point.

And... that's where we leave off.  The next part is pure combat, complete with scenes of explicit woodland carnage and this little piglet not helping in any way, shape or form.

 

Edited by Ertrick36

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On 9/6/2017 at 5:56 PM, Ertrick36 said:

Sorry for the delay.  I got distracted watching some dumb Swede play through Half-Life poorly.

The better kind of delay. I am swamped and you update like a beast which is a bad combination since I am doing my best not to fall behind, haha ;D

 

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"Tee-hee. There were people on the bridge?"
You know it. That face is VERY proud of her achievements.

Wait a minute... I have noticed something...

Spoiler

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SHE IS AN ASSASSIN!! It all makes sense now.

 

On 9/6/2017 at 5:56 PM, Ertrick36 said:

the anime tends to stray away from the game's canon anyway from what I understand

Spoiler

Mm. For the most part, yeah. It starts out the same but they probably realized it is hard to cover the game completely so in the later half it does its own way while still following the general idea. I bashed it a few times so in return I want to say that I enjoyed they tried to flesh out Maximillian a bit more and even added reasons for his campaign. The game has the same reason, pretty much, but he says it in like one sentence and it is more of an off-hand remark. The anime even made an attempt at other Imperial family members but there was clearly no room other than a scene or two.

 

20 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Convince me!

I am not even going to ATTEMPT searching certain sites. I might have or might have not seen stuff before...

 

20 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Selvaria will head to what is actually one of the ends of the Earth with Maximillian...

You can kinda see Radi cringing there a bit. We get it, Selvaria, but please leave such remarks out of formal meetings. Thanks. You were not even addressed to speak.

 

20 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Thank you, Largo.  That's how I'm supposed to react.

 

Ah yeah. The true wonders of online society. Humans getting killed? Pff! Fine. A piggy dies? BLASPHEMY!!

 

20 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

We're gonna conscript a fucking pig into our army!

Daimon is already in and he is in the regular forces on top of that. It is fine.

 

Ah yeah, Kloden. I can see how this might be a potential nightmare now with all the boosts and turrets shooting during your movement. I hated this mission the first time and it took me a few hours to do it :|
I was a greenhorn, sure, and this is the first time when you kind of have to understand how the game works. I will say more once it is relevant.

Edited by MadJak91

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3 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

The better kind of delay. I am swamped and you update like a beast which is a bad combination since I am doing my best not to fall behind, haha ;D

Well, I find it a lot of fun to do this.  I thought at first that I'd only be able to do about two updates per week, but I work on putting out commentary and compiling screenshots as often as possible.

I also feel a bit obligated to keep the pace up at least a little bit and actually finish the LP.  Though I'll try to take momentary breaks for both of our sakes.

14 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

That face is VERY proud of her achievements.

I remember that before I even considered doing an LP of this game, I was looking through the community screenshots and there were dozens of shots of this particular scene from the beginning of Isara smiling with her hands clasped while Alicia has this pissy pouty face.

Clearly I'm not the only one who finds it funny.

Speaking of screenshots I found on Steam, I came across this...

Spoiler

 

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In what world is 7680 x 4320 a necessary resolution?!

How big is their goddamn monitor?!

 

 

46 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Mm. For the most part, yeah. It starts out the same but they probably realized it is hard to cover the game completely so in the later half it does its own way while still following the general idea. I bashed it a few times so in return I want to say that I enjoyed they tried to flesh out Maximillian a bit more and even added reasons for his campaign. The game has the same reason, pretty much, but he says it in like one sentence and it is more of an off-hand remark. The anime even made an attempt at other Imperial family members but there was clearly no room other than a scene or two.

 

Spoiler

 

I tend to crap on the anime as well even though I never watched it and have limited knowledge of it, but I'll say again that I appreciate whatever it did to bring more people into the series (even if it was just a dozen people or whatever).

I remember that even some of the stuff I said about Maximilian in the last post wasn't even really mentioned in the game; I have the VC Wiki open to the side so that I don't have to go in-game to read biographies, which means I have access to a wider range of information.  So some of the lore I spout might be a mix of the anime, the manga, and all the games.

 

 

52 minutes ago, MadJak91 said:

I am not even going to ATTEMPT searching certain sites. I might have or might have not seen stuff before...

Spoiler

At least tell me there might be an image of Damon becoming a Valkyrur.  I need to see his fat ass destroying tanks with the Lance of the Valkyria while ranting about Captain Varrot and dancing like an idiot.

 

1 hour ago, MadJak91 said:

Daimon is already in and he is in the regular forces on top of that. It is fine.

I can't even refute that.

But then I wonder... does he go "moink" as well?

1 hour ago, MadJak91 said:

Ah yeah, Kloden. I can see how this might be a potential nightmare now with all the boosts and turrets shooting during your movement. I hated this mission the first time and it took me a few hours to do it :|
I was a greenhorn, sure, and this is the first time when you kind of have to understand how the game works. I will say more once it is relevant.

I don't quite remember how it was the first time through, but most of my struggles with it this time had less to do with it being genuinely difficult (which it does have some hurdles you have to hop) and more to do with me just making really stupid decisions.

Though unfortunately because the video footage from my first few runs was lost, I only have pics from a single successful run (and one of me intentionally doing something stupid for demonstration purposes).  That being said, I don't think it will be boring to see.

 

I'll take a momentary break.  Probably will resume the LP tomorrow.  In the meantime, I'll keep on pushing through the game behind the scenes.  I'm getting very close to a point in the game I want to get to which will serve as a segway to the first DLC campaign that I'll play through.

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Alright, so I've gotten all the way up to the second desert chapter...  And I've got a question to ask before I continue further.

Should I do the Empire DLC after that mission or after the mission at Ghirlandio?  I personally think that the former is better, but I'd like to hear the thoughts of other people.  There's nothing all that spoilery about the DLC once you've done the second desert chapter aside from maybe some foreshadowing here and there that doesn't mean too much to newbs.

 

In any event, I've got the next part up and running.  Sorry for the extended delay.  Though doing this will be a good way to cleanse my mind after dunking it into some real crap (figuratively, not literally), and I hope it can help you too in some way.

Chapter 5-2: Sniper Cannons and Countless Bad Jokes About a Girl Called Texas (Gameplay)

Spoiler

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So like we previously established, I'll need to take this camp to cut off the enemy supply line.

We'll be split into two teams yet again; a frontal strike force with the tank to the south and an infiltration team to the north.  Naturally, we'll want to use both of these forces, as the enemy will have some nasty surprises awaiting our southern forces.

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One of those surprises for both teams are the landmines.

Landmines can totally wreck most units, but they won't activate until you step off of them after stepping on them.  There are two kinds; anti-tank and anti-infantry, with each being ineffective against the type of unit they aren't geared towards.  Both can be dismantled by engineers, though sometimes they'll be right in the sight lines of enemy shocktroopers, scouts, or tanks, so caution is always to be advised.

We'll be dealing with them from both sides, but they shouldn't be particularly bothersome for this mission.

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Usual conditions...

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For this mission, I've deployed:

  • Lynn
  • Edy
  • Susie
  • Texas
  • and Nadine

A massive force is unnecessary for this op; we only need to take the enemy camp.  We may deploy some additional units up ahead, but for the most part these are the units we'll be using.  Typically it's best to send a shocktrooper and the tank to the enemy camp, as there'll be a lot of heat there by the end.  You'll see what I mean.

Nadine and Lynn will escort the tank while the other three take the northern path.

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And it's all thanks to that winged pig that we found it...

Right?

...

So before I actually begin, let me show you something.

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This is what things look like on our end.  There isn't much to see from here besides some lancers, a shocktrooper, and a tank up ahead.  For all their bitching and moaning, the platoon members were right about one thing; it's difficult to see a lot in this forest.

So let's have the Edelweiss move up a bit, shall we?

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Vrrrrrrrr...

Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

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Crash?!

So yeah, I said this before, but AT cannons can now fire at you during your turn.  They'll also fire at any infantry they see, though they're much less likely to hit infantry than tanks.  This wasn't a feature in the vanilla game; these things would have to wait until their turn, just like the snipers and lancers in the vanilla.

And as you can see, it's a total pain in the radiator to deal with.  Even for infantry; it's less about how likely they are to hit you, and more just the chance that they will even do so in the first place.  It's like if you see a dude with a 5% crit rate in FE; they aren't that likely to crit you, but you'd much rather not take your chances, especially if you have to deal with other enemies and have progressed far into the chapter.

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Regardless, I'm not gonna continue with this run.  I just wanted to demonstrate this crap.  Needless to say, we want to use the northern team first.

One more thing to note, though; there's never a point where enemy tanks and lancers are able to do this as well.  At least not as far as I know.  It only applies to snipers and AT cannons.  However, as we progress through the game, we'll be seeing more of both of these things, and it'll get trickier to maneuver around them.

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So first, I'm gonna send Texas down to destroy any enemies by that little camp there like the Lone Star she is.

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"It's our own secret garden..."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

She says it so sensually, too.  You know, just in case you had any doubts about which team she's swinging for.

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I'm gonna first use this horny teenager to dismantle a mine.

This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it?

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Texas dials Alicia on her cell phone to talk about a big gun, and Alicia in turn tells the lady who is actually in charge about it, who then tells her puppet figurehead to watch out for it.

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And the figurehead sends some hopes and dreams to the northern team.

What was the point of this exchange?

Oh right, it's the game trying to hold my hand.

At least we know who to send down to the Underground to defeat Asriel and Flowey.

Spoiler

Do you like my spicy references to spicy meme games?

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Neither of these losers have noticed our stealthy lesbian heroine.

You don't want me to start compiling titles for this lady as well...

I mean, they are able to see us, but they can't counterattack.  Might be a little late to talk about the sight lines in this game, but basically they're like this: blue is for totally hidden (they won't attack you at all), yellow is for kinda unnoticed (they can see you and mark your location on their map, but they won't fire interception rounds at you), and orange is for they're pretty much attacking you.  There are some exceptions, but this is generally the rule.

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Anyway, she's gonna 'nade this guy 'cuz I don't have any confidence that she'll hit his head enough times to kill him.  Engineers are less accurate than scouts.

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Next I'll have the worst soldier in the game run up next to Texas while spotting dudes we can already see.

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Also, notice how Dallas's name shows up on the top right?

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So sometimes, there is an actual benefit to bunching people up; they will be inclined to shoot at an enemy you shoot at if they're close by.  Up to three can support a unit like this.  I'd say think of it sorta like the whole attack stance versus defense stance dilemma in FE Fates.  As long as none of your units are in danger of getting hit by tank mortars or grenades, they should be fine.

Also...

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"Enemy... neutralized!"

She sounds so exasperated.  No wonder she hates killing; even just firing a rifle five times tires her out.

Though then again, I did bruise my arm from firing a shotgun with the stock against my arm instead of my shoulder, so maybe I should shut up.

She also sometimes apologizes to the enemy when attacking.

Spoiler

And now for a word from our benevolent Exalt of Four Lands.

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"The weak have no place on my battlefield other than six feet under.  She shall either learn or perish."

Yes, this legendary figure will now occasionally join me to deliver mandates and inspiring speeches.  She... might also be "editing" my posts so that they're more... "appropriate" for the general public.  I'm sure she'll help make this LP enjoyable for everyone, and I appreciate that she's taking the time out of her surely busy day to help me out with this.  Isn't she just great?

 

Now for the main event, featuring the one and only Edy Nelson, AKA Mizz Extra Smol Mouf.

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When there's a blue highlight under a character's name, it means they do extra damage in team attacks.  Texas has the hots for Edy, it would seem.  We'll need every bit of help.

No, I'm not gonna go on a tangent about AT cannons; you've already seen first-hand what they do.

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*Cue the audio from the one meme of Roadman Shaq (or whatever his name is) making all those goofy "skrrrrraaaa" and "poom poom poom" sounds with the visuals timed to it*

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Don't remember if I showed this animation before, but...

Smol mouf starlet strikes again.

That camp is now ours for the taking.

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Good show all around!

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Hopefully she'll snipe anyone who comes down that path up ahead.

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Ah...  Gotta love nature!

Nothing is more natural than demolishing a broken down tree with a freakin' tank.

Also, there's an AT mine, but I swiftly avoid it.

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So up ahead are a couple of lancers and a Medium Tank.

There are two different variants of this thing; the cannon version, and the flamethrower version.  This, I'm pretty sure, is the cannon version.  It has the same weapons as the light tank, except it's tougher and the machine gun is on the back instead of the front.  The flamethrower variant, which I think is fairly rare, only has the flamethrower and the same rear machine gun.

It's essentially the same as the Shamrock, a modified Gallian Light Tank that appears later in the game.  It's better equipped to deal with major enemy forces, so it sees a much wider use against formal military units than the light tanks that are better suited for minor militants and lightly-equipped town guards.

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Anyway, it goes down in two shots...

Yeah, so threatening to my tank that was found in some little farm shack :facepalm:

I mean, to be fair the Edelweiss is classified as a medium tank as well, and you eventually can modify it so that it's roughly as powerful as even tank destroyers, so it speaks more about the Edelweiss's capabilities than anything else.

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And I'll just knock down more of nature's beautiful creations (there was another tree here before).  Isn't nature just GRAND, Welkin?

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Lyndis is here to save the day ヽRGaYS2c.png

I used two CPs on her, so this will be the last move anyone makes this turn.

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Gotta kill at least one of these lancers, 'cuz every other lance left alive will shoot the Edelweiss the next turn, and it can't handle more than two shots.

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Speaking of...

Let's see what dastardly plans the enemy has cooked up.

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This guy really wants to see world famous actress Edy perform, but first he'll have to get through her guards; a pacifist who can't fire more than five shots without becoming overwhelmingly exhausted and a teenage lesbian who has a weakness for bread bakers and red-headed songstresses.

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Susie, what the fuck are you doing?!

Are you trying to torture the gayness out of her like some deranged homophobic aunt?  Did Texas sell you an apple for 50 DCT?  Are you just blind?

Clearly Susie's the worst soldier in this entire army, and this exchange alone proves as much.

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The only dude who attac our tank.  But our protec is superior.  So now we can sit bac.

I'm totally gonna retroactively date this LP by injecting these memes into it, aren't I?

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Though in actuality, this is the majority of what happens on the enemy's turn; they just run around like idiots.

They're supposed to be patrols, but it just looks so stupid, especially when you can actually see them.  Not only that, but it's pretty pointless for this particular map.  The enemy's just wasting CPs.  Granted, they always reserve, like, five CPs for later anyway, but still.

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And that was the enemy's turn.

Tune in for...  Turn 2 and beyond, I guess.

I just wanted to put something out for the time being.

And I apologize for gradually turning this into some trashy yuri escapade.  I'm trying my best not to be the genderbent version of Nina from Fates, but the temptations are strong here.

 

Edited by Ertrick36

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Okay wow Susie no friendly-fire please, also how is it my Susie has never screwed anything up, always attacks, always hits, never friendly fires? Like seriously, granted I don't use her too often since Alicia and Aika but still she has never done anything wrong for me. (then again I'm the guy that deploys 5 shocktroopers, 2 snipers, Alicia, Largo, and Dallas like every map)

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8 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Should I do the Empire DLC after that mission or after the mission at Ghirlandio?

I am fine with whatever you do with DLCs. I... have not played a single DLC before so that is actually going to be new content for me!

 

8 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

AT cannons can now fire at you during your turn

Right :/
I do not remember every single mission exactly but I think AT cannons are relatively rare? Still. since I probably destroyed before they could do anything, I do not even know. I am thinking of two missions where this new rule could be a SERIOUS problem. We will see. One is a boss fight and the other is much later in the game at night... And this mission, of course.
This also probably changes tactics quite a bit. The game wants you to move your tank ahead as a shield for units storming the front and as cover. That is the point of tanks and what the game expects you to do usually. Like this.... Dang. You cannot really.

 

8 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

"The weak have no place on my battlefield other than six feet under.  She shall either learn or perish."

This is an order! O R D E R
"The weak have no place on my battlefield other than six feet under. They shall either learn or perish."
On a second thought... Gallia would be doomed under the military leadership of Ms. Plenty of Titles because she would turn it into another Empire.

 

7 hours ago, LucarioGamer812 said:

how is it my Susie has never screwed anything up

You were lucky! My Susie also liked to screw things up closely followed by Catherine. Actually, it was Susie who I killed for the medal achievement thing... Heh.


As for what happened... Well... You er, never know. Maybe Dallas is into that sort of thing :)

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On 9/11/2017 at 7:35 PM, LucarioGamer812 said:

Okay wow Susie no friendly-fire please, also how is it my Susie has never screwed anything up, always attacks, always hits, never friendly fires?

Because you probably don't stack a bunch of soldiers together like the idiot I am.

If you didn't use her much, you probably also didn't get her hidden potential until much later.  And even if you did, I don't think the potential has a very high chance to proc.  I know the chance for it to proc with the mod installed is now a measly five percent.

It could also be that you're just luckier than I am.

On 9/11/2017 at 7:35 PM, LucarioGamer812 said:

(then again I'm the guy that deploys 5 shocktroopers, 2 snipers, Alicia, Largo, and Dallas like every map)

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Glad I'm not the only one who preferred using shocktroopers over scouts like most people seem to do with the vanilla game.

17 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

I am fine with whatever you do with DLCs. I... have not played a single DLC before so that is actually going to be new content for me!

Right :/
I do not remember every single mission exactly but I think AT cannons are relatively rare? Still. since I probably destroyed before they could do anything, I do not even know. I am thinking of two missions where this new rule could be a SERIOUS problem. We will see. One is a boss fight and the other is much later in the game at night... And this mission, of course.
This also probably changes tactics quite a bit. The game wants you to move your tank ahead as a shield for units storming the front and as cover. That is the point of tanks and what the game expects you to do usually. Like this.... Dang. You cannot really.

This is an order! O R D E R
"The weak have no place on my battlefield other than six feet under. They shall either learn or perish."
On a second thought... Gallia would be doomed under the military leadership of Ms. Plenty of Titles because she would turn it into another Empire.

You were lucky! My Susie also liked to screw things up closely followed by Catherine. Actually, it was Susie who I killed for the medal achievement thing... Heh.

As for what happened... Well... You er, never know. Maybe Dallas is into that sort of thing :)

- I only asked because I could see some people taking issue with me doing that one so early on in the game, especially since you unlock the Ruhm (which I already have anyway) from completing it.  And yes, as soon as I beat that DLC, I'll start using that gun, which means I'll get an OP gun pretty early on.  But then again, it won't give me that much of an edge.  I don't think so, anyway.

But as I said, once we reach the second desert level, there's pretty much nothing storywise that it spoils.  And heck, we'll get to meet some of the Imperial aces who are normally enemies there, particularly Otto and Oswald, the latter of whom is good at dodging.

- Honestly, it only really changes the order I do things.  It just forces you to use the northern team first or else sacrifice a good rank.  However, I do recall points where there were AT cannons that you can't really flank, which will be very problematic.  I think the Ghirlandaio approach is one such mission where this happens.

- You know, since I have access to a 3D model posing program, the game's internal assets, and some unofficial graphic design program experience, I could totally photoshop Isara into the order cut-in stuff.

And what are you talking about with this "doomed" nonsense?  Wouldn't you want to have the benevolent Darcsen Exalt of Four Lands lead Europa into a new Golden Age?

- lmao, even the VC Wiki recommends you sacrifice Susie for that achievement.  Quote: "Her Potential, Humanitarian, also makes her a great choice to sacrifice to earn the Splintered Horn medal once unlocked."  I know it's a fan resource, but still...

- Did I unintentionally kink shame Dallas?

14 hours ago, Tuvy said:

Bench Susie for 2nd best boy Montley Leonard

Or Oscar Bielert

I shall consult our Darcsen friend on that.

Spoiler

You can probably expect Oscar at some point because snipers are in short supply all the time, but I'll have to think about the scout.  I don't even know if Montley is available yet anyway.

 

Edited by Ertrick36

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7 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

Glad I'm not the only one who preferred using shocktroopers over scouts like most people seem to do with the vanilla game.

Some people switch to shocktroopers again once flamethrowers come in.  If not for the kill then for busting bunkers and saving grenades.
The thing about scouts was stacking up orders and turning them into defensive shocktroopers, lancers AND snipers. Or using the demolition order and sneaking up behind tanks. With some good maneuvering a scout could destroy a small tank blockade... Vanilla was broken lmao.

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On 9/13/2017 at 1:10 AM, MadJak91 said:

The thing about scouts was stacking up orders and turning them into defensive shocktroopers, lancers AND snipers. Or using the demolition order and sneaking up behind tanks. With some good maneuvering a scout could destroy a small tank blockade... Vanilla was broken lmao.

Yeah, but, like...

I can destroy a tank and loads of dudes with a shocktrooper without loading them up with orders.  And once I got Ruhm, any shocktrooper was liable to turn into a sniper-esque unit.

Though regardless, vanilla certainly was broken.  If you can destroy a tank with weapons that are meant for taking down infantry, then clearly some balancing needs to be put in place... which is exactly what this mod did.

In fact, it might've done a little bit too much balancing, because the tank that shows up later in this chapter essentially can't be destroyed without cheese tactics or wasting a bunch of turns.  Then again, you're not technically supposed to go after it in the first place.

 

So anyway, after editing the OP, working on some... graphics, and taking a break by playing other games, I now shall present to you the next thrilling episode of Survivor Man.

Chapter 5-3: The Grand Exalt Issues Orders and the Lady of Caelin Struts Her Stuff Before Her Musou Debut

Spoiler

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Where we last left off:

  • Susie's an idiot
  • Welkin's "under minor fire"
  • Nadine's done jack shit
  • Texas has brain damage, but is still alive and oddly aroused
  • Edy's ready to be fab as fuck
  • Lyndis was officially confirmed to appear in FE Warriors

I think for all it's worth, we're in an okay situation.

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Let's improve it, shall we?

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I'll place Edy here so that she can see that dude.  Just another thing I happen to remember from this game.

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Susie, meanwhile, will do some scouting and catch up with the others later.

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You couldn't see it because Edy's big, tsundere-tailed head was in the way, but there's a mine, like, 30 feet in front of her.

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In these situations, you throw a 'nade.

And then you-

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have Edy tryout for the part of Yamcha in the Dragon Ball Evolution reboot.  It's only a matter of time until they try to make another live action DB movie.

Damn, this sucks.  I kinda need a shocktrooper to lead the charge here.  Well I guess our next best option is...

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Susie...

...

You know what?  I don't think Susie's got her heart in it to kill this guy.  I think she needs some inspiration.

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THIS IS AN ORDER!

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KILL OR BE KILLED, MOTHER FUCKER

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Good...

Also, when she fires at the dude, she complains, "But I'm a pacifist!"

Then why are you in the army???

Even though she wasn't drafted, apparently family honor forced her to join.

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Yet she hops when she kills a dude.

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Are you a pacifist or not???

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Of course we need to rescue Edy.

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And continue scouting...

You have to be careful in this little neck of the woods because there's another AT cannon just waiting to snipe any of your units that are taking this route.

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Next we'll get Nadine "Pollen Allergy" MacGee to attempt to repair the tank.

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And dismantle this menace of society, AKA an AT mine.

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Eeeeggggghhhhh!

Can't... reach!

Fuck it.

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Zip zoom, mother fucker!

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Death shall suit you idiots well.

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THIS IS AN ORDER!

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Not enough!  Make them suffer!

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Wee woo wee woo, better watch out!

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Eternal existential torment.  Killing this man would be a mercy at this point.

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Go now, Lyndis!  Show everyone your true Musou power!

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RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

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LYNDIS, YOU MONSTER!

She doesn't mind a little overtime, btw.

So now that her Musou is activated, I can have her take another action...

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Isara couldn't possibly be prouder of you.  Good job killing this worthless lout.

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Will have her hide behind a radiator.  Just in case.

Now that our turn is up, let's see what the enemy will do, shall we?

.....

.........

...............

Oh wait, that's right.

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They do absolutely nothing.

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Though this time, we do actually get to see one of them.  Of course it's scouts that are running around.  They're the ones that are best able to spot us.

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You thought I was joking?  No, that was really how the enemy spent their turn.  They probably chose to not use the scout by that camp because he'd get butchered right away by the nutshack tank.

 

Anyway, I know I joked at some point about it, but I think from here on out, I'll stick to this one turn per post format unless anyone has any qualms about it (or unless the turns I use are really short).  So until the next update...

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AND THIS IS AN ORDER...

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Make sure you don't die.

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Edited by Ertrick36

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5 hours ago, LucarioGamer812 said:

OMG that Isara ORDER is amazing.

It is glorious! It is like Order 66! Isara is Palpatine now as well!
For a single freaking CP :D

 

5 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

I can destroy a tank and loads of dudes with a shocktrooper without loading them up with orders.

Right you are. That is just as valid. It is like... You could use anyone BUT the lancers in vanilla, haha.

 

5 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

"But I'm a pacifist!"

You know... I am not buying it. It is like people who mercilessly swat a fly in cold blood but say they are pacifists. She wants to look innocent and everything but deep down she loves it. She loves the smell of gunpowder and enjoys pulling the trigger. Susie secretly wants to be like Isara but cannot achieve that and has a family status to uphold. It is sad in a way. Ahem
.

Is it wrong I am starting to feel bad for the Empire? :/

Edited by MadJak91

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3 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

It is glorious! It is like Order 66! Isara is Palpatine now as well!
For a single freaking CP :D

 

Right you are. That is just as valid. It is like... You could use anyone BUT the lancers in vanilla, haha.

 

You know... I am not buying it. It is like people who mercilessly swat a fly in cold blood but say they are pacifists. She wants to look innocent and everything but deep down she loves it. She loves the smell of gunpowder and enjoys pulling the trigger. Susie secretly wants to be like Isara but cannot achieve that and has a family status to uphold. It is sad in a way. Ahem
.

Is it wrong I am starting to feel bad for the Empire? :/

Oh gods no Squad 7 does not need to be the empire!

Yeah Lancers rarely get used as if I need better mobility, Rosie serves as anti tank in most areas while Largo may kill 1 tank in another..

Man we're coming up with all these additional personalities or traits for these characters, we might as well call this a fan redo of the game.

Never, they gunned down innocents and called Martha (who was pregnant) fat. Plus they're racists and generally douches most of the time (with a few exceptions)

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They did but you know history! The oppressed become the next generation of oppressors!
If not that then look at Awakening. It is not like Chrom's dad was a shining example of a good leader. Not at all! So Isara becoming the next ABSOLUTELY RUTHLESS TYRANT is not far off! She IS the Exalt after all!!

lmao, true! Ertrick is doing a good job at throwing baits for people to pervert :D

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Oh no, what am I doing to this game?

On 9/14/2017 at 1:24 AM, MadJak91 said:

It is glorious! It is like Order 66! Isara is Palpatine now as well!
For a single freaking CP :D

Well, when you're killing younglings, you don't need too many CPs.  Though if you're trekking across sand, however...  That's a CP nightmare.

Most of her orders will cost only a single CP because she's the benevolent Grand Exalt of Many Titles.  Though she may have an ultimate CP that'll cost a whole two CPs!

On 9/14/2017 at 1:24 AM, MadJak91 said:

You could use anyone BUT the lancers in vanilla, haha.

And that made me sad 'cuz that meant I couldn't use Jann or mama Yoko Ono.  Well, I mean, I could use Jann in the Edy Detachment DLC, but that's about the only use I'd really get out of lancers.

On 9/14/2017 at 1:24 AM, MadJak91 said:

Is it wrong I am starting to feel bad for the Empire? :/

Don't start feeling bad for the Empire now; we haven't even gotten to the Empire DLC!

On 9/14/2017 at 4:40 AM, LucarioGamer812 said:

Man we're coming up with all these additional personalities or traits for these characters, we might as well call this a fan redo of the game.

Heh heh...  Maybe I should play through VC2 just so I can spawn a better story out of it.

 

So we got our first rain in a while RGaYS2c.png

Finally, fire season can officially end, fall can start, and I no longer will be choking on smoke fog in my valley; only the sweet fragrance of falling leaves shall fill me lungs!  Let's celebrate with another edition to the story of Grand Exalt Isara and her minions!

Chapter 5-4: Will That Damn Tank Show Up Yet?

Spoiler

Because these next few turns are so short, the remainder of this chapter's gameplay segment will be presented here.

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Where we last left off:

  • The damn tank still needs to be repaired
  • Lyndis unleashed her Musou attack
  • Nadine the Allergic is falling behind
  • Edy was hospitalized for breaking her vocal chords
  • Susie's full of shit
  • Texas... is still somehow alive

Ay, oh!  Let's go!

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Lyndis will charge at this dude like the tribal war chief she is.

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I have her swiftly dodge two of the three shots.

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Not taking my chances with him dodging.  I'm not in the mood for that BS right now.

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Stolen, just like every meme in existence.

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Now to summon a scout on this side.  I won't be charging right at the base with these infantry forces, believe it or not.  There's a third route they can take, and believe me, they need to take it, and for a few reasons.

Not least of which the fact that if they actually tried charging at the enemy from the front, they'd all get slaughtered.

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First, B L E !

Have this bookworm repair a tank with dat repair boost.

I sure have to wonder what kind of romance novel she'd write.  She seems to spend pretty much no time at all interacting with potential love interests, with her time instead being spent evenly between escorting tanks and encountering walking corpses (AKA the Imperial troops).  Is she gonna write a story about how a dude fell in love with a tank?  Is this the basis of the tank class in Miitopia?

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omfg, she looks like she's pretending to shred it on her gun-guitar!  Is she gonna make me drive her unlicensed ass around while hauling about a couple grand worth of musical equipment to and from her place, some shithole studio that never gets cleaned, and a wide assortment of dive bars that rip off their talent?

Actually, she just got stuck right on top of the busted down sandbags.

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I wanted to get her to repair them, but the prompt kept switching between "retreat" and "repair" until I moved her here.  It was an exercise in frustration I'm sure will be repeated at some point later down the line.

Anyway...

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Welkin's gonna continue loving nature in his freakin' tank, because tanks really have a way of bringing out the beauty of the wilderness, doesn't it?

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Trying my best to get a dude who's hiding around that corner...

Kinda went terribly, tbh.  Maybe Isara should just have full control over the tank and Welkin can be spotter or whatever.

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Running the confused ladies up ahead.

They'll fall apart without the brilliant guidance of Edy, trust me.

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And I have Lone Star and the "pacifist" blast this dude to death.

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And of course, I have both of them run back here.

Why?

Because there's an Ace shocktrooper just waiting for these two to run out into the open so that he can shoot them, and any encounter these ladies have with him will result in their deaths.

Aces are dudes in red who are typically much tougher than regular soldiers and dodge very frequently.  They all have names, some have ranks, and they come in all classes.  And they're always annoying to deal with, but the game makes it worth your while to take them down.  We'll see how later on.

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I'll end the turn here.  It isn't like I'm under threat of the enemy staging a major counteroffensive at this point.

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Uh... so remember that ace I told you about?

He... he might be coming for the rifle ladies after all.

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I don't want to have to restart this again!

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Are you- wait...

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What are you doing?

Seriously, I don't get what the point of this is.  Those stupid little sandbags aren't gonna save him.

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Per usual, the enemy ended their turn without doing anything productive.  Now everyone's favorite boy scout has arrived RGaYS2c.png

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I'll send both the boy scout and the lady of the plains to flank around the other way.  There's something important we need them to accomplish, and it's also the best route to get to the base camp from with infantry.

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Is... is this something they taught him in the boy scouts???

"Oh, you want to clear some fallen trees?  Use our patented Boy Scout Grenades to clear the way, Wavy!"

That's the real reason they're called "B-Type Grenades", isn't it?

Then our favorite boy scout pushes further ahead along with Lynn the Immortal.

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You know what time it is?

That's right.  Orders.

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Gonna go after Lieutenant Nonnenkof, the one lieutenant who doesn't get a tank of his own for whatever reason.

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"Time to permanently retire that coward Lieutenant."

Signed, Isara Gunther, AKA Corporal Superior Cold Blooded Overachieving Worldwide Tank Driving Genocidal Fast-Thinking Code-Talker the Post Apocalyptic Time Travelling Grand Exalt of Ylisse, Europa, Black Mesa, and Magvel and G-Approved Interdimensional Agent of the Porcavian Pigs and Wildwoods

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Just imagine Catherine somewhere off-screen, sniping this dude.

Took out a decent chunk of his HP, though.  I think the tank ought to finish the job.

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"Death comes for everyone~"

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Nadine, meanwhile, won't actually follow the rest of the infantry forces.

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She'll just stick behind the tank, continuing to play air-guitar on her gun.

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End turn yet again, and...

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Um... a scout decides to say hi?

That's pretty much the most significant thing that happened.  Now there's a scout sitting right in the middle of the slope leading to the camp, which is more of a nuisance than anything.

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You might've seen glimpses of this guy.  Mr. AT Cannon Man # 2.  This guy's another reason we can't move our stealth team further in.  He actually will take potshots at them, and those shells hurt like hell.

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*Cue annoying commercial voice* And that's why we're tearing it down!

Dominos Pizza, you lookin' to hire someone to write your commercials?  'Cuz I'm available whenever you need me.

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Going a little further ahead with our lady of the plains.  The scout shot her, but you can't see him.

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Taking no chances with this bastard.

'Nades and foot shots are my bread and butter, baby!

Though Lynn's getting all tuckered out, so I don't think she'll be the one to take the base camp.

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It would be a good idea to bring the tank into the base camp, though.

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Then suddenly, the one good villain shows up!

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Tell me you didn't, please!

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Oh, good...  Only "a few".  So that's, what, maybe four or five dudes?

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Huh, this guy knows how to pick his fights, doesn't he?

He's just frightened of Isara the Terror, isn't he?

Spoiler

To be honest, I myself am [REDACTED]

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How cute...

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THIS IS AN ORDER!

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"Nice guys finish last!  Make him weep for his men!"

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So here's the situation:

  • A really fuggin' strong tank known as the Lupus has arrived
  • About three or four more men are now guarding the base camp now
  • The enemy is attempting to make off with those supplies

About the Lupus...

It's Jaeger's personal tank.  Aside from having similar treads to the Imperial Heavy Tank, there's nothing quite like it in the Empire.  It sports a massive 122mm cannon - the kind of cannon you'd normally see on a gunship - so I'm pretty sure it can take us out in one hit, though I never tested that theory.  Not only that, but it's really fuckin' tough.  As in, I tried taking a lancer around behind it in an earlier run in hopes of destroying it... and could only take out a measly sixteenth of its HP shooting directly at its radiator.

The thing with this tank is, you can only bring it down to half health before it'll retreat in this chapter.  I also don't think you get a reward for defeating it, so it's better to just try to avoid it.

Anyway, Isara's told us to GO AND KILL, so I think we better get on that, shall we?

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Oh yes, inject that sweet, sweet ammo inside me, Nadine!

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Of course, the true hero has to be the boy scout here.

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BEGONE, THOT!

Don't you question me.

Without him, and his trusty Boy Scout Grenades, we would've never have gotten this far.

He somehow manages to be the most innocent Darcsen in my platoon in spite of being the eldest one.

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And he gets to be a hero!

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Time to break out the 'Boros RGaYS2c.png

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They sound so pleased about this.  They just lost a major supply route!

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Yeah, but you still lost the base...

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Isara's now the leader of FOXHOUND, confirmed.  Expect to see that worked into her title later on.

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FUCKIN'

Do you not remember what your direct superior told you?!

Lemme refresh your memory...

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He said the route of supply needs to be unshakable, Jaeger!  Nevermind that you managed to run off with the supplies.  What about supplies for the next few months?  Or over the year?  What about specialized seasonal gear?  Do you even know why it's important in the first place?

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Anyway...

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How do I keep managing to get these pictures of Welkin squinting his eyes?

Does he just like looking up at the sun?  No wonder he's so unsure of everything that requires even a bit of responsibility.  He's stupid enough to think that staring at the sun is an okay thing to do.

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Mission results.  I honestly thought I was gonna get an A, but...

Eh, whatever.  It's a pain in the ass.

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And this is why it's a good idea to take out aces.  They give you guns.

Now, here's a couple things to keep in mind about these weapons.

  • They're all of a limited supply; unlike the weapons we manufacture, we get a finite amount of these guns.  So in this case, we can only give this gun to one person.
  • They never "level up".  They stay the same throughout the entire game, so it's not typically a good idea to use them unless they're weapons you got near the end of the game.
  • They have shit aim, but deal better damage and inflict status effects.  This will always remain true for Imperial weapons we acquire relative to our manufactured weapons, however...
  • We'll eventually obtain weapons that pretty much trump everything, so these will become totally obsolete after a little while.

I'll show whenever we obtain unique weapons, and I'll show who I arm with these things.

Anyway, tune in next time for the conclusion.

 

Edited by Ertrick36

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14 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

busted down sandbags

How do you repair a bunker anyway?? Do the engineers carry like a whole truckload of sandbags?

 

Ah yeah. Lupus. There is not anything for chasing Radi away although I think the rest of the forces immediately disappear from the map if you accomplish that while any of the enemy soldiers are still alive. Not sure though.
First time through he actually gave me a bit of trouble because I had units in bad spots and he started shooting them down one by one... That sucked. So I used crazy Alicia method and quickly conquered the base.

Now for the weird part... If I recall it right, Lupus only moves back and forth a bit. On one of my playthroughs the tank actually started moving outside the base and down the road :/
I think something glitched because I could not reproduce it ever again or find any videos/info online. I pretty much had to panic rush at that point. Weird.

 

CUC: +0.5 -> -0.5

Edited by MadJak91

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Before I go any further, lemme break from the act for a moment.  In case it isn't obvious to those who've never played VC, those "Isara orders" are fake.  I made them up thanks to some graphical ingenuity and a little creativity.  There was one actual order I used (sniper support), but usually it's Welkin issuing the orders, not Isara.

 

Anyway, on with your poorly scheduled programming.

23 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

How do you repair a bunker anyway?? Do the engineers carry like a whole truckload of sandbags?

Obviously they fill the emptied bags with sand RGaYS2c.png

Or maybe they aren't actually destroyed, but rather they're pressed into the ground, and all the engineers are doing is pulling them back up.

23 hours ago, MadJak91 said:

Ah yeah. Lupus. There is not anything for chasing Radi away although I think the rest of the forces immediately disappear from the map if you accomplish that while any of the enemy soldiers are still alive. Not sure though.
First time through he actually gave me a bit of trouble because I had units in bad spots and he started shooting them down one by one... That sucked. So I used crazy Alicia method and quickly conquered the base.

Now for the weird part... If I recall it right, Lupus only moves back and forth a bit. On one of my playthroughs the tank actually started moving outside the base and down the road :/
I think something glitched because I could not reproduce it ever again or find any videos/info online. I pretty much had to panic rush at that point. Weird.

- I much prefer just driving the Edelweiss into the base and launching mortars at the reinforcements.  They all conveniently spawn around the base, so it's exceptionally easy to wipe most of them out with one or two mortars.

- That is a little odd.  I think he will break from the pattern if there are enemies he can attack from within his pattern.  Or you probably did glitch him.  I don't know enough about how the game works to properly analyze that.

 

So now that we're done with Mr. Jaeger's Wild Ride, let's see what kind of BS we're in for now.

Chapter 5-5: FE Fates Crossover When? (Closing)

Spoiler

Don't blink your eyes, or you'll miss this.

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Thanks for sending us out here so that the darling Edy Nelson could wind up getting hurt, Captain.

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Am I the only one around here who will actually acknowledge who really earned these victories?!

Now would be an extremely good time for Isara to issue that "All Units Die" order.

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I didn't see him do anything valuable.

Did he kill some Imps?

Did he scout out the base?

Did he capture the base camp?

No.  Alicia just picked him up in the middle of the forest while he whined because dear ol' mommy died.

Actually, now that I think of it, I probably know exactly why Alicia has a sort of kinship to this thing.  Will I divulge this reason?  Nah...

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Also, the fuckin' thing is named HANS?!

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Great, as if Lynn the Destroyer, Jane the Sadist, and Isara the Exalt weren't enough, now we've got a sociopathic, power hungry, murderous piglet joining us.

And I definitely wouldn't classify him as a "hero", Alicia.

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Yeah, but...

Even if I follow your logic and assume those pieces of goat shit led you to the base, Hans didn't really do anything.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Hans actually was the one who killed the mommy piglet rather than Imps, and this was all an act.

Gee, I'm making this story out to be way darker than it actually is.

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Okay, real talk; why is it that Largo's always the one I can relate to in any of these situations?

Not only is he calling Hans a "bacon", I legitimately wanna know who decided to name it in the first place.

I'd actually go out and buy a beer with him, and I don't even drink.

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But of course we won't ever find out who named Hans.  This basically confirms it's the very same Hans from FE Fates.  I guess now this is gonna turn into George Orwell's Animal Farm, isn't it?

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Yeah, "great things" like subjugating your fellow farm animals and becoming one with the human oppressors!

We got ourselves a regular Napoleon II, here.  First it will be the farms of Gallia, then it'll be the principality of Gallia.  Next thing you know, he'll build an empire to rival Isara's.

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But there can be only ONE emperor of Neo Gallia!

 

Anyway, that's all there was to this chapter.

Interlude 5:

Spoiler

When you stare at the void and it blinks first, what do you win?

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If you guessed "more reports", you'd be correct!

Usual summaries below.

  • Lucky 7's Cut Off Supply Base: Striking the Kloden supply base was a huge blow to the Empire and a major boon for the 7th Platoon.  It would seem that this succession of victories has earned some eager eyes from back home in Randgriz.
  • Militia Issues Draft Notices: A second draft has been issued targeting men from 30 to 45 years in age depending on their contributions to Gallia's normal functions, though it would seem this transfer would impact commerce and industry in a negative way.

Note: That first story is precisely why I was going off about Jaeger and his men acting like retreating from the base was a good thing.  In the general scheme of things, it's actually a significant hindrance in regards to the war effort in general.  Not only did they lose a supply line and possible flank for the war in Gallia, they also lost a supply line that was beneficial for their war against the Federation.  So in essence, it was a huge stain on Maximilian's already not-so-good name, as well as Jaeger's.

Don't get me wrong.  They actually were lucky to get any supplies out of it at all, but that's an insignificant solace compared to the bane losing the base as a whole was.  That is, unless they can finish the war in a month, which definitely doesn't happen.

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Oh, and now there's another report.  This one will be exactly like the other one in that it won't have any combat sequences.  As it takes place right after Kloden mission, it'll be the next segment you'll see.

Now...  Apparently we unlocked some new hidden potentials.  Let's take a gander, shall we?

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Ah, so here's the reason why I called Wavy "Stonewall Jackson" earlier.  So crouching down already increases defense by quite a bit, but Stonewall basically amplifies that effect even further.  This essentially makes him the ultimate camp defender, which will be a tremendously useful role later on.

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.....

So Susie unlocked her hidden potential, Humanitarian.  And it's fucking awful.

Basically, when you command her to shoot an enemy, there's a chance that she'll not only refuse to shoot the enemy, but abruptly end her turn.  In other words, there's a chance that using her will waste a perfectly good CP on putting her in the path of danger.  This can be mitigated by saving before every time you use her, but save scumming just to get a unit to do things is just plain frustrating.

It's why I said she's better as a non-combatant scout.  You want to take that chance as little as possible.  With the mod installed, that chance is now only 5%, but I'm sure you all know that even a low chance is still a chance, and the RNGoddess absolutely loves to screw with people.  After all, most of you play FE.

And that was all the potentials I unlocked.  One good one and... one I'd much rather forget about completely.  Anyway, let's make like Goku and train.

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And one more thing...

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Gettin' real close to them branching R&D paths.  When the time comes, I'll give you the scoop.

Since these segments were so short, I'll also include the next segment in this post as well.

Report Segment: King Garon's Right Hand Man Force-Feeds Welkin Poison Mutton Bread

Spoiler

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Fun fact: I'm the type of idiot who finds calling Chrom from FE Awakening "Bred Chrom" amusing.  Now whenever I refer to bread, I'll sometimes call it that as well.

I'm sure I have about as much brain damage as poor ol' Texas the Lesbo with a Kink.

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Oh wow, really?  That was a quick report, wasn't it?

Well then, I guess we're done here.  See you guys in the next update!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, that was a lie.  This is what winds up happening.

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The aspiring Duke of Nohr bursts in making a bunch of racket.  Also, look at that medal.

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Are you kidding me?

Hans is stupid as hell.  Or at least he seems like he'd be stupid as hell.  Can't really tell, since none of the villains of Fates really got much characterization.

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Don't follow him, Welkin; it's a trap!

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Real talk, can a pig actually go "oioioioink"?

Also, this dastardly pig alternates between "moink" and "oink".  And may I remind you that it's voiced by a dude literally saying "moink" in a weird, somewhat high pitched voice?

It's bizarre, yet that somehow in and of itself makes this thing endearing.

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Goddammit, Welkin, stop giving me reaction pics!

Also, I love the image in my head of FE Fates Hans just biting Welkin's boots like some rabid animal.

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Turns out, this was the mastermind behind it all.

Alicia, you better not tell me that you're Garon.  I swear I'll delete Valkyria Chronicles from my Steam account if you do.

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Welkin.

Stop.

Making.

Silly.

Faces.

My hard drive has a whole terabyte of space in it, but I'm confident that by the end of this I'll fill it entirely with shots of Welkin's various dumb faces.

Maybe I'm just discovering that Welkin generally has a silly face.

Are you gonna kill Hans and feed him to Welkin, you sick fuck?

I eat burgers with actual beef patties, btw.

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Watch out, Welks; she might poison your mutton.

You wouldn't wanna end up like Dorcas, would you?  Always remember the golden guidelines: build your armies and trust no one.  And to those reading, you all should also remember this for when you play FE Warriors, what with Lyndis making an appearance in the game.

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Oh, she already prepared it?

Wait, what if Welkin wasn't hungry?  Would you just throw all of the food away?  Because that'd be an awfully shitty thing to do during a war, a time when agricultural progress tends to slow down by quite a bit, at least when it's your nation that's being invaded.

This is making me hungry for toast.

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"Back in the kitchen"

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When did you become a Reddi- I mean, an intellectually superior individual, Welks?

I find this picture unsettling for, like, 13 different reasons.

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With a little bit of editing and a Brazzers logo at the bottom, this shot could take on a whole new meaning ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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This must be the work of an enemy stand.

I think that's about how much bread you'd see at a bakery, tbh.

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I mean...

Are there any other bakers in your platoon, Welkin?

And I'm pretty sure that bakers usually have to bake at least this much food before, like, seven o'clock, so it isn't so lofty a feat, even for one person.

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So this was practice?

That's a nice sentiment and all, but make sure there's at least one person who'll actually want to eat it, otherwise it'll go to waste.

I was raised by a father who hated wasting food, so I might be a little bit anal about this sort of thing.

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omfg, bread and coffee?

Why oh why must this game tempt my cravings?

And now with the holiday season is coming up, people are gonna be baking pumpkin bread.  Just thinking about all of this is making my stomach rumble violently.

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Yup, pretty soon you'll eat your way to death, and Hans will then take over as leader of the 7th Platoon.

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Why is the camera panning towards 'Licia's booty?

Camera man is fellow booty connoisseur Bardock Obama, confirmed.

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Can I make a confession?

When I paused on this frame, I actually teared up from laughing so hard.

And yes, this shot will most certainly be used again at some point in some way.  I don't know where, and I don't know how, but it's just too good.

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Christ, man, that's a big friggin' bite.  Then again, Welkin has a big friggin' mouth, as you saw in the previous shot.  He's the polar opposite of Edy in every way, including in mouf size.

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Alicia here hoping the poison's strong enough to do the trick.

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Okay, that's the end of the LP, hope you enjoyed, and remember to try out the game and this mod!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Actually, the poison wasn't strong enough to-

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It turns out Welkin has the poison tolerance potential.

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Well then...

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Welks continues chowing down while...

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Alicia makes this dopey face that I definitely am not gonna use at all as a reaction pic.

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Well, you look like a seagull.  I'll explain later.

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That pretty much describes how I eat food.

Food is a gift that should be cherished RGaYS2c.png

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So was Alicia poisoned instead somehow?

What a strange turn of events.

Anyway...

M4RUh7I.pngTy8qQSA.png

So here's the aftermath.

I think for today, Hans will take a break from ruthlessly slaughtering innocent people in the name of King Garon.

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How can all of that food fit in their collective bellies???

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Yeah, I know how it feels to create something and have people legitimately enjoy it.  I'm a somewhat anxious person, so it tends to be a mixture of relief, pride, and joy.

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*Me whenever someone in my family makes some food*

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A BRED CHROMB!

I'm sorry.

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Oh, quiet down everyone, we're about to hear some L O R E

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Then about three-quarters of a century later, when your business has expanded into an international monopoly and it starts to go bankrupt, people will crowdfund Alicia's Bakery Goods out love for your trademark Pwinkies.

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Though that sounds necessary.

I mean, do you want your bakery goods to be made under an irresponsible manager?  Lots could go wrong if we just let any idiot with two hands run a donut shop.

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Hopefully they won't be eating from the same loaf of bread, or if they do they cut it up first.

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Um...

This is going in a direction, isn't it?

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I get the feeling she's projecting really hard on Welkin, here.

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Curse this Report for spawning all these terrific reaction pics.

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Case and point.

And I don't know if it's just that I'm in a weird state of mind or what, but this seems like another one of those weird shots that you could slap a Brazzers logo under.  Once you remove the text, I mean.

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Okay, you're just straight up professing your love for Welkin.

Come on, would anyone here be even remotely surprised if these two characters got together?

I mean, this literally just-

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

This is some seriously hamfisted foreshadowing.

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And in typical anime fashion, Welkin doesn't quite get the hint.

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Yuh huh...

Well, I guess either Welkin's not interested or she didn't come on strong enough.

Better luck next time, Alicia.  And if all else fails, there's always Texas... though she might have brain damage the next time you see her.

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I wouldn't invite Welkin to any of my banquets or family gatherings after seeing what he did today.

 

And that's the end of this report.  Tune in next time for our first desert encounter, complete with Darude Sandstorms and asshole snipers.

 

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Lol about Hans

 

anyways in my playthrough of valkyria I've managed to get through chapter 15

Spoiler

15-1 was easy, only one casualty with Edy barely not having enough hp and defense to last one more second for me to press X on the last objective, but I still got an A rank, probably due to my super advance flanking on that level. 15-2 though, my gods is that level brutal, took me over 10 turns to beat it, with a few casualties (Marina, Largo, Dallas, Homer, Nina, think that's it) had to do a complex thing at the end to turn Selveria around so Rosie could attack her without missing. Also I really need to beat that dlc to get that gun as it is so OP

Spoiler

Also completely unrelated but I find Wavy being a boy scout funny, given I'm a eagle scout, I wish we had our own grenades lol, though we might have been in several lawsuits were that the case

Also I have the perfect image ready to be used for a chapter in the future.

Edited by LucarioGamer812

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4 hours ago, LucarioGamer812 said:
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15-1 was easy, only one casualty with Edy barely not having enough hp and defense to last one more second for me to press X on the last objective, but I still got an A rank, probably due to my super advance flanking on that level. 15-2 though, my gods is that level brutal, took me over 10 turns to beat it, with a few casualties (Marina, Largo, Dallas, Homer, Nina, think that's it) had to do a complex thing at the end to turn Selveria around so Rosie could attack her without missing. Also I really need to beat that dlc to get that gun as it is so OP

 

 

Spoiler

Did you know that there's an easy cheese strat for that mission that allows you to beat it in one turn?

You could literally pop smoke down in front of your units, use the Awaken All potential, and have your units snipe at Selvaria and take her down without all the hassle.  If you did the Selvaria DLC, you could also have a shocktrooper fire at her with Ruhm.

When I get to that part, I'll attempt to do a one-turn cheese strat, but I'll also do it legit because I'm sure it'd be funner for everyone if I put myself through all the pain of slowly trekking up to Selvaria's position and attempting to take her out legitimately.  Plus, the first time I played through that mission, I did it the legit way.  I certainly had to employ some strange tactics to defeat Selvaries.

And yeah, that gun is supremely OP.  Shocktroopers are already pretty strong as it is, but the gun effectively removes their greatest flaws (low accuracy and range).  Though those missions can be a bit tricky, especially if you're aiming to achieve an A rank and unlocking the hidden fourth chapter.  However, since you've beaten chapter 15, there's literally nothing that can be spoiled for you whatsoever in the DLC, so you should certainly feel free to play it all you want at any point.

 

5 hours ago, LucarioGamer812 said:
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Also completely unrelated but I find Wavy being a boy scout funny, given I'm a eagle scout, I wish we had our own grenades lol, though we might have been in several lawsuits were that the case

 

Spoiler

Wavy shall continue using his patented Boy Scout Grenades, litigation be damned!

Everyone's too scared to sue the Darcsens of the 7th Platoon since Isara is among them.  Also, as you've seen, he's already filed it as a trademark, so if there's anyone who ought to be suing people for using it, it's him and his fellow boy scouts.

The idea of Wavy being a boy scout just came on a whim.  I figured that he's a man, a fairly good scout, and a teacher, so maybe he could be a boy scouts leader of sorts.

 

5 hours ago, LucarioGamer812 said:

Also I have the perfect image ready to be used for a chapter in the future.

I shall eagerly anticipate it as we encroach upon that chapter.

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