Metal Rabbit Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 New format will be posted slowly, because the translation process takes as long as it did to originally write it. >.> Chapter 8 of the old format is almost done, however I feel the need to start over from the beginning. If you want to read what I have before it's posted here, just PM me. Chapters List so far: 1: (6 parts) 2: (4 parts) 3: (5 parts) 4: (6 parts) 5: (7 parts) 6: (6 parts) 7: (7 parts) 8: (5/7 parts written) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I like the switch. I think that the paragraphs could be a bit longer, with maybe a bit more description. The many separate short lines are a little distracting to look at it. Nice start though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 D: I almost forgot I promised to read this for you... I like the new format you have it in. I'm interested and will be reading more and am sorry for my horrible ignorance :c. I'm not kidding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 I like the switch. I think that the paragraphs could be a bit longer, with maybe a bit more description. The many separate short lines are a little distracting to look at it. Nice start though. Even with the new style, I'm keeping it in a notepad document. I purposely kept sentences apart so I could read through them easier. But your advice is noted. D: I almost forgot I promised to read this for you...I like the new format you have it in. I'm interested and will be reading more and am sorry for my horrible ignorance :c. I'm not kidding. Quite alright, I promised to read yours and I haven't done that yet either. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSothe Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) Don't think I'm not reading -- I'm just inactive. I like the new format. You may consider Kiryn's advice at how short paragraphs are, but it seems good for the rest. EDIT: (03/15/09, 2:33 PM): If you want, I can give some more detailed feedback/criticism. Edited March 15, 2009 by Matthew O'Connell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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