Jump to content
Stephen the Great

The FE Nonsense Story Thread - Now in Act V!

How do you like the Nonsense Story?  

24 members have voted

  1. 1. Your opinion?

    • It's great!
    • It's good.
    • It's OK.
    • It's bad.
      0
    • It's crap!


Recommended Posts

...they realized the story had absolutely no flow and direction. As if it were being made up as it went along. It'd contradict itself, contradict reality, and just contradict common sense. The group shrugged their shoulders at the story tellers and moved on. There's no way that could be relevant to their grand adventure. They weren't some group of reality weavers knitting a tapestry of history like the Fates or the Nornes. They were merely verbally communicating about something involving a putrid sentient pile of vomit. Surely such a disgusting creature could not exist or be pertinent to this adventure. The heroes entered the mines of Moria to discover the mines had been transformed into a quantum physics classroom by Dr. Robotnik. He would not let them through to the carverns where a "slimey monster" was "bound beneath the Earth" unless they could complete his course successfully. Sonic, and his team accepted the challenge, knowing it wasn't their usual field. "Thou shall not pass" sneered Robotnik as he...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Took out an inner tube.  “None can outswim me!" He proclaimed as he sped through the lake when suddenly...

Edited by Pengaius

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Sonic screamed "ur 2 slo" and used the opportunity to escape into the caverns. He was quickly ambushed by Master Belch, who entrapped him in slime. Slime and puke.
Meanwhile, the other protagonists, unsure what to do now that they had the full spotlight became torn on whether to compete with Robotnik at swimming, or delve into the mines after the now screaming-Sonic. After much deliberation...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...They decided that since this thread has been on and off again in recent times, pressing the reset button may be the best option.

However, some fighting occurred over how the story should start up again. By the time they settled it in Smash, the storyline...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...took the strangest turn.

In Magvel, Lyndis and Wolt were having a date while riding Wolt's cool ballista, when suddenly they're interrupted by...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Chris Hansen, who asked Lyn to take a seat. What he didn't know was the phrase had never reached the plains of Sacae and she had never heard it during her time in Caelin, so she took a chair and literally walked off with it. She began using this chair to engage in fights with other people's chairs to level it up, and before you knew it, what had started as a stool had reached level 36 and evolved into a sofa. However, Lyn was then challenged by...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hector, who had heard of the chair wars and thought it sounded fun. But he had a new idea, chair races! He had two spinny office chairs and challenged Lyn to race while sitting in the wheeled chairs to the local tavern. But neither of them won because...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wolt beat them to it on his ballista, and he continued his date with Lyn.

In this bizarre version of Magvel, Anna decided to open a store, with the fanfic author MetaDash as the clerk. This store sold...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Lore books about the world in question. If you want to know the history of the nations , legendary weapons, and monsters of Magvel, you're gonna have to pay for it.

However, when the scholars of the land heard of this store's existence, they...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

... realized it made their studies redundant, meaning they were out of a job. They accused Anna of witchcraft, and started the Saleh witch-trials, where the resident magic users of of Magvel searched out invading Valentian witches. However, as fate would have it, an actual group of Valentian witches had been sent by Jedah to test if he could spread his religion there. On being discovered they...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...were burnt at the stake alongside some steaks. Saleh (the judge), Lute, and Ewan provided the fire.

When Jedah recieved word of his fellow members of the Duma Faithful being executed in Magvel, his reaction was to...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Inform Duma that the people of Magvel had violently rejected their attempts to spread the message that "hardship builds character". Furious, but levelheaded, Duma decided to enter Magel itself to tell the populace that their cowardly act would have consequences.

After providing this short but powerful speech, Duma decided that mere words were not enough, and called upon the spirit of the earth to cause the worlds crops to...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...be beset by a series of plagues. First, the irrigation rivers turned into blood. Second, frogs appeared all over the land, then bugs, then boils, then hail and thunder (which was unusual, for Magvel was a warm continent with no natural snow/ice), then total darkness. And for the kicker, he killed all of the firstborn of Magvel's crops and animals with his laser eyeballs.

Outraged at this display (which Duma probably ripped off of another religion), the clergymen of Magvel rallied and decided to...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...challenge Duma to a game of Mario Tennis Aces. Duma did not expect to repeatedly have his racket broken by Waluigi playing holymen, and became infuriated, but before he could strike the clergy down, one of them pointed out that if hardship builds character, losing a few games of Mario Tennis in such a manner would help him, seeing as he didn't have many lines to build his own personality with. After Duma had absorbed this distortion of his philosophy...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...he persevered and won against the Magvelian clergy. One of the conditions of their treaty after he won was that his followers were free to practice their religion in Magvel. Another condition was...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...that the Magvelian clergy pre-order him a copy of Smash Ultimate so they could play that next time they had a dispute. The clergy reluctantly agreed, but noted they'd probably have to keep a third game in mind in case they had a conflict prior to December. Duma, of course didn't see what the big deal was. What is a couple months to a being who counts his life in millenia? But remembering these puny humans lived their entire lives in a timespan he could sleep through, he realized the time is probably a little more valuable to them. After some debate they decided the interim game for settling disputes would be...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...the XBOX Ninja Gaiden game, as he found it more interesting to watch than Dark Souls. Duma said it was their choice on whether to decide the winner on who beats it first or who dies the least. With all said and done, the Rigelian Deity returned home...

...And then a group of Mila's followers appeared, as when they heard that divine intervention would be decided by videogames, they...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...began settling things with the Duma Faithful through Smash, which is out now! However, the clergy of Naga soon sent representatives, as did the Church of Arceus, the devout followers of both the Bionis and Mechonis, some priests from Cyrodiil representing the Eight Divines, and some Stormcloak-aligned Nord priests representing Talos. What happened next was...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SullyMcGully, who hadn't posted on SF in quite some time, returned. Everybody paused from what they were doing to acknowledge the new arrival. Sully then suggested that everyone settle their differences by signing up for Refa's upcoming EiMM. Some people responded to this call by nodding in assent. However, others decided to...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...continue playing Smash, since Mafia was way more complex and took more time to complete.

However, the real mafia, led by Giovanni of Team Rocket, decided to ruin their Smash tournament by...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...all the clergymen banded together to sing Lifelight in eight-part harmony and caused the mafia to blast off again with their amazing singing voices.

Unfortunately, Heimskr (from Skyrim) had a voice so loud that his rendition of Lifelight reached Thanos in outer space, which compelled him to teleport to them with the Infinity Gauntlet and snap his fingers, causing half of the population to disintegrate into dust. His victims included...

Edited by Purple Mage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...Every single Fire Emblem character except Anri.

The fabled hero, realizing that the world needed him again, set off on a quest to bring everyone back. To prepare, he...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...