How I get "bullied" by a classmate

[Flee Fleet!]

"Don't talk to me"

"Are you INSANE???!!!"

"Are you insane? Don't talk to me."

"Hey what are you doing on the school computer? Something bad???" (obviously thinking of porn)

 

I don't know whether I should be angry or laugh out loud at him.

 

 

 

Okay maaaybe it's more on the latter side. But dear God some people just don't know how to make good insults.

 

Any similar experiences you guys had, either IRL or on the Internet?

[DragonFlames]

I wish people were this direct to me during my school days...
They pretended to be friends with me and then stabbed me in the back. For example, I would trust them with a secret one day only to have half our year ask me about it the next. On school trips, they would take every opportunity available to make fun of me, gang up on me in groups and no one would come and help, not even my so-called 'friends'. They made me wish I didn't exist in the first place sometimes... And that was just the tip of the iceberg. The whole mess has actually made me unwilling to go out and talk to people out of fear this shit will happen again and again and again...

You can tell a teacher, but don't expect them to do anything. I've talked to my teachers numerous times and nothing ever came of it, just the standard 'if it happens again, come talk to us' (imagine this quote being said in the most retarded voice possible for maximum accuracy). F***ing hypocrites, the lot of them. They tell us how bullying is bad, how discrimination is literally the devil and then they do f*** all to stop both.

Boy, am I ever glad I never have to go to the shithole that is school ever again...

At any rate, it might sound stupid coming from me (since I was clearly unable to take my own advice), but don't bother with these people. If they can't accept you for who you are, they're not worth your time. If you waste any emotion on them, they've already won.
If they start coming on to you, you have to show them that you are their equal. Bullies are those who look for easy targets they can put down. If you show them that you are an opponent, not a victim, they'll hopefully give up soon enough. This is the one fatal mistake today's society makes: they raise victims, so bullies have an increasingly easier time getting their fix.

Even though I got a bit emotional back there, I sincerely hope my advice can help you. Just think about it this way: school doesn't last forever. You'll graduate someday and then everything will become a distant memory, the bullying included. Try not to let other people ruin your life like they managed with me. Maybe you'll even get to laugh your bullies in the face when they work their asses off at minimum wage and you have a better paid, relaxing job, who knows? I know I'll do that once I graduate from university. Whenever the hell that will be...

[Infinite Dreams]

People who go out of their way to bully others really are just insecure.  If they were happy with themselves and their life, they wouldn't feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.  I know, I know... Everyone says that, but it's true.  Sometimes there's even a group mentality to it, and others join in because they want to feel accepted as part of the group.  They want to feel like they're "above" the person they are making fun of.  It's all insecurity.  

I wasn't bullied that much, but I was occasionally picked on for not making eye contact and being too "shy".  I still kind of hate that word.  

High school sucks.    

[Gebby]

I was 'bullied' once, but I've always had a horrid temper and just ended up going off on the guy worse than he did me, I almost got in trouble for making fun of him. I came out with a larger ego than ever, guess his plan backfired.

I guess I just don't have enough experience, but verbal harassment, in my experience, doesn't hold a candle to the stories of torment people throw at you.

[KnightOfNohr]

Hmm...that reminded me of a conversation I had with my younger brother once. It happened like this:

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!"

"Actually, I scream for frozen yogurt-"

"What?! Frozen yogurt?! You're insane!"

[Harvey]

During my times at school, there were two kids who were mean to me. We three both had to be stuck with the same driver who drops us to different schools.

I never bothered with them as I just ignored them all the time. Then as time passes, they started becoming friendly towards me.  I wonder what those kids are doing right now....

Infact this is what I always tend to do to those who bully me. Just ignore them and somehow, it lures them to be nice to me. Don't know how it works but it does.

Anways, considering that I am disabled, my parents would be the first to know if anyone abuses me or something from school so its not a big deal.

 

[Rezzy]

When I was in school and pretty young, the other kids picked on me a put my backpack in a puddle and got all my stuff wet.  They teased me for crying.  I only had like one girl who was actually nice to me.

I got a basketball thrown at my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.

Late grade school was a bit better, but high school was bad.

In high school, some football player spit on me.  A preppy girl came up to me and wiped her nose on her hand then put the snot on my sweater.

The other kids spread rumors about me smoking when I never did.  They also spread rumors about my sexuality when I was a virgin until after high school.

[TheTuckingFypo]

I had little tolerance for such things. I didn't have it too bad, because whenever it did happen, my "bullies" were in for a world of hurt. Actually, now I think of it, I was probably the bully more often than not, because when I did go out of my way to do something like that, it was because someone did something to hurt someone else, or broke my moral code. Seriously, I have no qualms with bullying people that bully disabled children. 

Otherwise I kept to myself. I didn't want to make friends with others until post secondary anyways.

[SullyMcGully]

Homeschoolers don't deal with bullies... well, actually, there were a bunch of kids at this church I went to who fit the bill. They made fun of me for not believing in Santa Claus. Now they look really stupid.

[Captain Karnage]

I always hated middle school as it was the worst time for me growing up. I remember getting jumped in the bathroom on multiple occasions, having gum thrown into my hair, getting a surprise wack to my testicles in the hallway. I remember that the teachers wouldn't do anythin to help, and it always get worse if I tried to stop it.

It stopped for me in high school after I joined the football team my freshman year, I endured a bit of hazing from the team but I came out stronger after that summer, emotionaly and physically. 

It stopped when the day I got pissed at one of my old bullies, I grabbed his arm and threw him over my shoulder. No one really messed with me from that day forward.

Advise to OP, grow a thick skin, get bigger than them, no bully will ever punch up, and no one will care once you're an adult and out of school.

If you can, you can always become a smartass.

[Stephen the Great]

11 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Hmm...that reminded me of a conversation I had with my younger brother once. It happened like this:

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!"

"Actually, I scream for frozen yogurt-"

"What?! Frozen yogurt?! You're insane!"

@KnightOfNohr A degree in Grammar National Socialism? Would you like to join the Alt-Write Society?

But in all seriousness: dear God, this is a terrible topic for me.

For six out of my eight years in primary school (ages 5 - 12), I was bullied by older students and left out by my classmates. My classmates were all too willing to make use of my knowledge to prop them up but they were somewhat more reticent when it came to including me. (This might have been because I was pretty judgmental and reactionary back then.) I only came out of that alive because I involuntarily deluded myself into believing that I had many friends.

In my first year of high school, age 13, I ran for Student Council. Things started off well and then went bad. My classmates questioned my leadership at every turn, the voices of us younger kids were never heard during meetings, and the stress of it all made me procrastinate. In January of that year (school starts in September), I went mad. Seeing this, all but a few classmates left me to hang. I had lots of support from outside of the school, but none within; the staff took until late that month to act, and their only action was to force my resignation.

As a result of this, my naive and happy-go-lucky nature was replaced with a Machiavellian siege mentality. By the end of high school, I was moving my classmates around like pawns for my benefit, out of a desire to get my own back.

To the OP (@Flee Fleet!), the only thing I can offer is my sympathy. If you ever see the need, please feel free to PM me with your concerns.

 

Edited November 14, 2017 by Sigismund of Luxemburg

[Flee Fleet!]

On 11/13/2017 at 2:16 PM, DragonFlames said:

I wish people were this direct to me during my school days...
They pretended to be friends with me and then stabbed me in the back. For example, I would trust them with a secret one day only to have half our year ask me about it the next. On school trips, they would take every opportunity available to make fun of me, gang up on me in groups and no one would come and help, not even my so-called 'friends'. They made me wish I didn't exist in the first place sometimes... And that was just the tip of the iceberg. The whole mess has actually made me unwilling to go out and talk to people out of fear this shit will happen again and again and again...

I understand how you feel, I used to have a similar "friend" too, who only ever hanged out with me because he thought being friends with the nice boy would increase his reputation. While I believe that bullies who are direct makes it more difficult to be around them, the pain from getting stabbed in the back is much, much worse. 

One of my classmates had it worse than me, however. All the other classmates acted like his friend, but they just beat him up, mocked and insulted him AND his family...what's worse was that he never told the school teachers about it. He had to change schools...so I hope he's alright now.

 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:16 PM, DragonFlames said:

You can tell a teacher, but don't expect them to do anything. I've talked to my teachers numerous times and nothing ever came of it, just the standard 'if it happens again, come talk to us' (imagine this quote being said in the most retarded voice possible for maximum accuracy). F***ing hypocrites, the lot of them. They tell us how bullying is bad, how discrimination is literally the devil and then they do f*** all to stop both.

While I can't say the same for the teachers at my school (at least the vice principal is very strict), I don't really think they would do much either unless the situation became extremely out of hand. 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:16 PM, DragonFlames said:

At any rate, it might sound stupid coming from me (since I was clearly unable to take my own advice), but don't bother with these people. If they can't accept you for who you are, they're not worth your time. If you waste any emotion on them, they've already won.

Don't worry, I definitely don't care for these kind of people think. If anything I just listen to my "bully's" "insults" and be like "oh, okay."....which may not be the best idea to deal with a bully, but it's better than losing my temper and starting a fist fight.

 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:16 PM, DragonFlames said:

If you show them that you are an opponent, not a victim, they'll hopefully give up soon enough.

I believe that if I stay patient and keep my cool, my bully won't bother me again. I guess it's working, since today we just kind of avoided each other.

 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:16 PM, DragonFlames said:

Even though I got a bit emotional back there, I sincerely hope my advice can help you. Just think about it this way: school doesn't last forever. You'll graduate someday and then everything will become a distant memory, the bullying included. Try not to let other people ruin your life like they managed with me. Maybe you'll even get to laugh your bullies in the face when they work their asses off at minimum wage and you have a better paid, relaxing job, who knows? I know I'll do that once I graduate from university. Whenever the hell that will be...

 I'll try my best to not become emotional. And besides, if other people are going to try to ruin my life, I can do the same to them. Thanks for the advice, and I hope that once you graduate from university, you'll get a good job and be the one to have the last laugh against your bullies.

 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:39 PM, Infinite Dreams said:

People who go out of their way to bully others really are just insecure.  If they were happy with themselves and their life, they wouldn't feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.  I know, I know... Everyone says that, but it's true.  Sometimes there's even a group mentality to it, and others join in because they want to feel accepted as part of the group.  They want to feel like they're "above" the person they are making fun of.  It's all insecurity.  

I guess it is. From what I've seen of my "bully", he just seems more emotional than he should be. And I guess the whole "getting accepted as part of the group" is the reason why that one classmate of mine got bullied. I guess I'm glad that I don't have such a mentality, but at the same time, it made me feel more "out of place" in my class. Maybe that's why I prefer Internet friends instead, haha.

 

On 11/13/2017 at 2:39 PM, Infinite Dreams said:

High school sucks.  

Pretty much.

 

20 hours ago, Gebby said:

I guess I just don't have enough experience, but verbal harassment, in my experience, doesn't hold a candle to the stories of torment people throw at you.

Verbal harassment is pretty bad, especially when you're young. I remember being teased in 3rd grade because I was fat, and it made me hate my own body until 4th grade started and I became more emotionally tough.

 

20 hours ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Hmm...that reminded me of a conversation I had with my younger brother once. It happened like this:

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!"

"Actually, I scream for frozen yogurt-"

"What?! Frozen yogurt?! You're insane!"

Lol. Speaking of Frozen yogurt, I used to hate it, but now I find it more tasty than ice cream.

 

 

17 hours ago, Harvey said:

Infact this is what I always tend to do to those who bully me. Just ignore them and somehow, it lures them to be nice to me. Don't know how it works but it does.

Unfortunately I don't think that would work for me, I'm already a not so social and introverted person, haha. But who knows, anything can happen.

 

17 hours ago, Rezzy said:

When I was in school and pretty young, the other kids picked on me a put my backpack in a puddle and got all my stuff wet.  They teased me for crying.  I only had like one girl who was actually nice to me.

I got a basketball thrown at my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.

Late grade school was a bit better, but high school was bad.

In high school, some football player spit on me.  A preppy girl came up to me and wiped her nose on her hand then put the snot on my sweater.

The other kids spread rumors about me smoking when I never did.  They also spread rumors about my sexuality when I was a virgin until after high school.

I'm really sorry to hear that. But at the very least you're doing better now. I just believe that once high school ends, and I go through university and whatnot and manage to get a good job, life will be much easier to handle, even socially. I got to work hard for that though, haha.

 

15 hours ago, TheTuckingFypo said:

Seriously, I have no qualms with bullying people that bully disabled children.

I wish I was like you in that regard. Too bad I'm not really the fighting type, but at the very least, my height and weight is enough to make people think of me as someone not to mess with or with his friends physically.

 

15 hours ago, SullyMcGully said:

They made fun of me for not believing in Santa Claus. Now they look really stupid.

Lol.

9 hours ago, Captain Karnage said:

It stopped for me in high school after I joined the football team my freshman year, I endured a bit of hazing from the team but I came out stronger after that summer, emotionaly and physically

I guess being part of any sports team, or heck, being the mischievous troublemaker of the school not only prevents people from bullying you most of the time, but also makes you popular. Which I dislike tbh, but oh well.

9 hours ago, Sigismund of Luxemburg said:

For six out of my eight years in primary school (ages 5 - 12), I was bullied by older students and left out by my classmates. My classmates were all too willing to make use of my knowledge to prop them up but they were somewhat more reticent when it came to including me. (This might have been because I was pretty judgmental and reactionary back then.) I only came out of that alive because I involuntarily deluded myself into believing that I had many friends.

In my first year of high school, age 13, I ran for Student Council. Things started off well and then went bad. My classmates questioned my leadership at every turn, the voices of us younger kids were never heard during meetings, and the stress of it all made me procrastinate. In January of that year (school starts in September), I went mad. Seeing this, all but a few classmates left me to hang. I had lots of support from outside of the school, but none within; the staff took until late that month to act, and their only action was to force my resignation.

As a result of this, my naive and happy-go-lucky nature was replaced with a Machiavellian siege mentality. By the end of high school, I was moving my classmates around like pawns for my benefit, out of a desire to get my own back.

I'm really sorry to hear that Sigismund. I hope you're doing well now, and I guess having a Machiavellian siege mentality isn't really bad if everyone else was a jerk.

9 hours ago, Sigismund of Luxemburg said:

To the OP (@Flee Fleet!), the only thing I can offer is my sympathy. If you ever see the need, please feel free to PM me with your concerns.

Don't worry about me, the situation isn't that bad. But still, thank you, and if needed, I will PM you.

 

Anyways, sorry the long post. I'm really sorry to hear about your bullying experiences, guys. Hopefully life gets better for all of us. Thank you for your support and advice, and hopefully my English in this post didn't cause any misunderstandings.

[KnightOfNohr]

Well, dear Sigismund, I would be honored to join your society.

[TheTuckingFypo]

12 hours ago, Flee Fleet! said:

I wish I was like you in that regard. Too bad I'm not really the fighting type, but at the very least, my height and weight is enough to make people think of me as someone not to mess with or with his friends physically.

Yeah, I don't. Lol. I a 5" nothing asian girl XD

There was also that time my classmate got strangled with a drawstring rope. The guy ran about 20 seconds before i arrived at the scene. I got him expelled, to say the least.

[claire]

lol, i was bullied in middle school, but i didnt realize it til afterwards cause i was really socially underdeveloped lmao. i started to use the internet a lot and i figured out how it worked and all and i thought back and was like "WTF THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME??" it was mostly for being hairy, i had a unibrow & didnt shave my arms/legs (middle eastern and dark hair) but i didnt know that was "weird" haha so i guess i never picked up on it. i also apparently was annoying to some people?? end of 8th grade is when i went on a rampage and screamed at people because i couldnt take it anymore. i didnt get in trouble but idk some kids started to feel bad and asked me if i was ok. some decided to stay as far away from me as possible. my parents found out about it and my mom took me to get laser hair removal as revenge lol. now i live a gud life, havent changed my personality or interests but people are nice to me now. its amazing what a bit of fashion and appearance and money can do for u. god i hate everyone

[albert]

Jeez I didn't realize a lot of guys you had such serious bully problems.

To be honest, I can't think of a single instance or story I can really say where I was bullied enough for me to go crazy. Sure there were the occasionally douchebags who called me names and all but nothing too bad. I was always a pretty mellow and chill guy and didn't really care about the small things so that kind of helped.

 

But meh, just do your own thing and don't care as much is all I can say I guess...

[eclipse]

Now imagine all of those stories, except the teacher is the bully.

My elementary school had plenty of those horrible teachers.  I hope the boys in my class turned out all right.