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Let's make world conquest easier for Zephiel - Let's play Ironman Fire Emblem 6, without skills!


Saint Rubenio
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On ‎19‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 6:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now seriously, why'd you say that? He didn't do much of note in the last update, aside from being part of the conversation that pointed out one of FE7's plot craters.

You know, being a person who only recently started playing Ironman, I thought his death couuld save you from the utter disaster this chapter has been so far. Then I remembered it may not work that way. Pure genius, right?

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Well I fucked up again.

On 3/19/2018 at 5:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, you'll get to feel my pain... I don't know when, but some day, you'll reach the FE7 counterpart of this chapter... and that night, I shall fare you well.

Well, we'll see. I should have good horses by then.

It'll be by the time Arcadia rolls around I'd really cry.

On 3/19/2018 at 5:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

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Also, he has an axereaver and capped strength. Why do I like this game, again?

Why do you?

It's the game of axe's nadir, the worst desert map, where half the cast is barely or not useable at all and where Roy can hardly do anything until chapter 22.

On 3/19/2018 at 5:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

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HOW DOES IT FEEL, HUH!? HOW DOES IT FUCKIN' FEEL!?!?!

For some reason, this comes to mind.

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Part 28 - The little Knight General that couldn't.

...convince me to use him.

On 19/3/2018 at 10:39 PM, Dayni said:

This again.

That's it? C'mon, man, I put an effort into making it look great. Any other player would've just spammed Jedi Slam and that would've been the end of it!

Higher Res too.

Her speed is one of the lowest in the game. And in a meta that's only now shifting away from high speed.....

Piece of crap, still beats Raigh in something.

More in the way of Kent or the jester from King Lear.

Hahah... poor you. Also, spoilers, dude! Stop it!

Fenrir.

Oh. That was anticlimatic.

It's the silver tier weapon for dark magic in the game (It's.... a... whole thing I won't go into). Suffice to say, her weapon's worse, but that's more because it has no effect by default.

Hey, it may have no effect, but its name is pronounceable. That totally balances out, amirite?

I don't know if I can believe that.

Also bit of a buzzkill.

You from the past just didn't see it coming. Hah! You feel right into my trap! IN AMERICA!!

Why do you?

It's the game of axe's nadir, the worst desert map, 

Aaaaaaand fixed.

where half the cast is barely or not useable at all and where Roy can hardly do anything until chapter 22.

Well, I mean... it's... it's got Raigh?

Well, is this a death sentence?

Speaking of whom, how dare you jinx Raigh of all people? You little... poopnose! Don't do that!

*Bonk!

I guess he just couldn't stay down and wanted to be noticed.

He probably realised he'd reached the end of the line and wanted to go out in style.

She could dodge!

If you hadn't left her to die early on.... No, no, at this point it's bait.

Well, she didn't dodge that one, did she? Mwahahahahahah!

On 21/3/2018 at 3:34 PM, Dayni said:
On 19/3/2018 at 6:42 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, you'll get to feel my pain... I don't know when, but some day, you'll reach the FE7 counterpart of this chapter... and that night, I shall fare you well.

Well, we'll see. I should have good horses by then.

It'll be by the time Arcadia rolls around I'd really cry.

Nonsense. FE7's Arcadia isn't as bad as FE6's, or Zephiel.

Cecilia: The levitator?

More like, Cecilia's horse: the levitator. Cecilia makes some other things levitate, but I doubt she can levitate herself. Heheheh...

...

...

...sorryyyyyyyyy...

That's not too much of a dick move though.

No, but it's annoying, as well as yet another trap IN AMERICA that you fell right into.

Ilia and Lycia don't even border each other who thought of this as a good choice for background?

Right, I'd forgotten Sacae's huge.

A surprising comment.

Why is it surprising? Because I didn't blurt out liters of bile like I usually do?

It's also the time to get best Percival so I'm thanking her too in advance.

That is irrelevant.

I actually wish this could be acknowledged in an Elibe remake. Make it so if you have a file with EliwoodxNinian that it would have additional scenes and other benefits.

Yeah, a remake of these games would be cool, although it'd require me to buy a switch, so I'd most likely just stick to the old classics.

The music in Merlinus's head.

Why the cheetamen, though?

In reality.

I'd say it's something more along the lines of this.

Well that's a good sign.

Isn't it?

Get away from him you bitch!

That..... that's no good.

Hey, Wrys should be powerful enough to take it, right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Yeah...

Well that Ruben's dead.

I find it quite hilarious how nobody cares that Elen and I died. It's like you're all far too busy screaming your lungs out for Wrys.

I'm not sure if you can come back from whatever that was.

I don't think so...

This..... seems to suggest Humphrey's got some help for this monstrosity.

Not sure who could be helping. Maybe he stole Niime's research or something?

Patience is your friend here.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Like I said...

Alright, finally got that out of my system. No, you lied about there being no more dick moves. The trouble is that this is on you. I'll leave it there, might as well get used to no more Wrys.

Heheh... I'm... I'm sorry...

So Wrys is gone, a bunch of info from timeline 2 is likely gone

And still not giving a crap about the two people who died... one of which is my stupid self-insert... okay, I wouldn't give a damn about him either.

and we're not even out of the desert. Good thing there are timeskips. Until next time.

And so, Dayni hastily left the forums, cursing me in his mind. I was slightly amused.

On 21/3/2018 at 3:34 PM, Dayni said:

For some reason, this comes to mind.

I don't have any music to describe that. It was just... pure satisfaction. Thanks, Jeigan, for being the very best man I definitely won't bench for Perceval.

On 20/3/2018 at 6:12 AM, DestructionDragon360 said:

Glad to see Humphrey the Humongous Asshole doesn't have total dominion over Lugh!

Good thing, that.

Though, I'm not sure what Ruben and Ellen did to stop their combined dark magic attack.

They just took it to the face instead of everyone else, basically.

Also:

NOOOOOOOO! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!

See Dayni for my thoughts on this.

On 20/3/2018 at 11:05 PM, Goddess Serra said:

You know, being a person who only recently started playing Ironman, I thought his death couuld save you from the utter disaster this chapter has been so far. Then I remembered it may not work that way. Pure genius, right?

Remember chapter 7, I reset once and that saved Lance and Jerrot's lives, but I still benched them for life as if they were dead. It's more lenient than a pure Ironman run's "LORD DIES, IT'S OVER, RESET 20 HOURS OF GAMEPLAY", but not so lenient that I'd actively want to use Roy's death to get a free reset.

 

Spoiler

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Yeah, let's go kill Narcian already.

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"I have received word that, between you and General Narcian of Bern stands a man by the name of Douglas"

Xb8ZQ0W.png...Merlinus.

K523MkD.pngYes, Lord Roy?

Xb8ZQ0W.pngThis letter here says... uh...

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Xb8ZQ0W.pngYes, that's it! We must save her!

K523MkD.pngBut how?

Xb8ZQ0W.pngOh, we'll just move to that fort overthere, and take it.

K523MkD.pngWhat would that accomplish, Sir?

Xb8ZQ0W.pngI... have no idea.

K523MkD.pngThat checks out. I agree completely with this plan of yours, Lord Roy. However, be careful! It might be a trap!

Xb8ZQ0W.png...good...

qKYLZFj.pngVod79Us.pngB9nJoJX.png

No, seriously, why in the world did we move to "a small fort on the Etrurian border"? I mean, sure, Roy was right: Fae did end up in that fort, which actually raises another question: how in the world did a little girl who supposedly gets tired before even walking out of her own home and has never, ever seen anything but desert overtake us and arrive to this fort earlier than us?

But I digress. Is Roy the luckiest man ever, or is there something the game isn't telling us here?

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Trading. Not much trading to be done today. Just getting Dorothy the brave bow so she can be even more awesome.

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Today's team. Standard stuff, really. Had to kick Gonzo out for Lalum, but that's fine, he can't hit anything anyways.

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Said dragon child will not feature in the map until the ending cutscene.

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Instead, we get... this guy.

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Remember Orlo? Well, this guy isn't Orlo. He doesn't reach Morgan's level of patheticness, either, mostly because he's not a lame recolour, but personality wise, he's... yes, he's Morgan, actually. He's only better because his face is new, really.

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Wait, was she waving that thing around, or did you mug the girl on her way out and happened to find this instead of golden coins?

Probably both.

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Also, this generic was apparently in the invasion of Lycia. That makes him more of a badass than Raith.

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Congratulations, dumbman. You solved the mystery! We'll head your way with your reward.

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And Roy knew he had to come here to search for Fae because... why, exactly? Honestly, this makes no sense.

I would've liked it better if Igrene actually caught Fae escaping, but Fae, I don't know, turned into a dragon and fled to Raith's. She would be caught red-handed, looking like a murderchicken, which would give the soldiers a reason to actually fear/attack her. However, being a child and all, she'd get scared, go back to human form, and get imprisoned. Igrene, having followed her here, would realise she couldn't hope to win against the keep's troops on her own, and would go back and lead Roy and his troops to kill Raith and save Fae.

As it is, we just took a blind shot and somehow hit the mark.

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Ah! It's him! The Douglas! Perceval, what the hell are you doing? Run! You can't recruit him!

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The Lycian Army is Bern's biggest threat right now (which means we, in fact, are the most pressing matter to attend to), as well as your greatest hope of taking down Roartz and Arcado and escaping from Bern's clutches (which means you shouldn't try very hard, prince Little Shit or not).

No matter how I look at it, Perceval coming after us makes no sense.

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I mean, I'd be worried too, you've too many stats over 15.

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I don't know why, but I like this quote. Douglas in general I find to be a decent character. It's just... chapter 16 and his speed that hurt him.

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Yeah, he's very loyal indeed. So much so, he'll stab his prince to death if he doesn't talk to him in his own turn.

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And yet you've got a brain and know that protecting one guy over everybody else is a highly dumb course of action?

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So Perceval more or less just told Douglas "hey, man, you're cool, but I completely disagree with you". How will he answer?

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Then why in the world of fuck won't you let yourself be recruited in chapter 16?!

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Are you ready for some speeches?

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Hey, at least he's being realistic. Surely, that's reason enough to give up and join us to try and negotiate the king's survival, right?

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Of course not. That'd be too simple.

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So here's Douglas' plan. Perceval must betray Etruria so he doesn't have to.

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His plan also relies on Perceval surviving this battle.

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Honestly, if Little Shit/Douglas' daughter wasn't in the right place at the right time, Douglas' plan would crumble down like a card castle. He has no way of knowing they are with us!

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Oh, I see, we asked the locals that don't know Fae. That makes perfect sense, yeah.

Except it doesn't! We still got extremely lucky that these "locals" lived right next to the castle Fae wandered into! We still had no reason to come to this precise location to ask the locals! If anything, the sensible thing to do would be to double back and search for her aroud the desert, since it makes no sense that she'd actually outrun us out of it!

Sigh... okay, that's enough of that, hopefully.

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Oh, don't say those things, Igrene... you're entirely blameless! Merlinus should've seen it coming! He's the demon dragon! Kill him!

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You're no fun, Roy.

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We're fucked.

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Really, Roy?

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Yeah, this is all very interesting, except we're wasting some precious time Raith could be using to send Fae to Zephiel. But by now, that's just routine.

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Get moving! Fae's in danger! All this exposition could've been delivered sometime else!

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Always a faceless male spy. What about the faceless female spies? Damn it, Merlinus, I already knew you were a monster, but a cis white male also? Shame on you!

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Exactly! Which is why we should get off our asses, and find her! Goooo!

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Finally! Okay, let's go.

 

 

 

 

 

3Rc5H2l.png...

2KXjEwj.pngRuben! What are you doing here?

4pBxQbA.pngAnd Sid, as well! I thought Lord Roy allowed you to return to Lycia and... give him a proper burial?

5pOyHm8.pngHe did... but we're staying. Lord Matthis and the others... will take care of everything.

2KXjEwj.pngBut are you sure you're well enough to remain in the army?

3Rc5H2l.pngIf that bastard attacks again, I want to be here. So does Sid.

5pOyHm8.pngIndeed. Wrys would've never allowed us to quit just like that.

4pBxQbA.pngHm. I admire your courage. But try not to force yourselves too much. After this, we'll wage war against the leaders of Etruria themselves.

3Rc5H2l.pngWe haven't a reason to worry. We're strong. They won't be able to stop us.

5pOyHm8.pngAnd with General Matthis and his troops en-route to Lycia, we don't have to worry about the Bernians attacking us from behind, either.

4pBxQbA.pngThanks for the vote of confidence, both of you. Trust me, we won't disappoint you!

2KXjEwj.pngGo back to camp for now. We're about to move out. We'll speak further after the battle.

3Rc5H2l.pngVery well...

J5cvwV8.png...

5pOyHm8.png...

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So, the map. Village next to us has an upgrade to Saul's power, the other one has the hammerne staff, except obviously, the hammerne is hard as hell to reach before it's destroyed.

Aside from that, this map isn't much compared to the last two... or so I recall. Let's see if I am right.

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The boss is hilariously bad. He's worse than Legance. Legance! Seriously, let's look back at the guy.

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Sure, much worse strength and skill, but his defense was better, his speed was better, and he had a throne which is better than a gate.

Even if we consider the fact that back when we faced Legance we were much weaker, Raith would still have been an easier boss than Legance. Probably not by a very wide margin, but my point stands.

I wish Raith had been the boss of chapter 8. I still remember the hundreds of turns it took us to defeat Legance. Even Henning didn't take as long.

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Really, the only thing that makes Raith... very slightly menacing, is his spear. That's all.

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The real problem are these Valkyries, particularly the one below the hammerne village. We either haul ass to get the hammerne, getting killed in the process, or we are careful and lose the hammerne.

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Oh, well, I'll worry about it when it becomes a problem. Let's just give Lot some skill for now, that's really the only area where he's truly lacking.

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As usual, I fucked up when trading. I remembered to give Roy a vulnerary, but not give Wade a new bow?

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Moving forward.

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Before pressing the "end" button, let's look at what Igrene has to offer. Aside from the obvious, mm hm... ahem, sorry.

Igrene's a pretty good prepromote. She can't use silver bows just yet, unlike Klein, but she's got better stats than him. She can do some mighty damage, and her survivability's decent as well. She can be a pretty good filler, and if she gets lucky with her not-too-bad growths, she could even become a pretty good Sniper, given enough time and some help. I like her.

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Here comes Percy.

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The closest Mercenary attacks Tate. He didn't do very well.

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The stupid baby blue looks better on igrene than it does on Dorothy. I guess because red/blue/yellow is a better combination to me than brown/orange/blue. You see, the thing is that with Igrene, we get three completely clashing colours, which is fine in a way. With Dorothy, we get two similar'ish colours, and then a completely out of place baby blue. I'm no fashion expert, but that doesn't really work.

Although, I still think Igrene should've gotten brown instead of blue. C'mon, most of her portrait's brown! Why is the baby blue here?

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Anyway, Sue gets a kill. She's falling behind fast, and I need her not to fall behind fast if I want to go to Sacae.

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The axe siblings do about as well as the RNG let them.

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Lalum will stay behind to recruit-- holy shit, the Cavaliers can reach her.

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Much better.

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Raigh finishes off this guy for a level. Wish him luck!

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Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I should've been more careful what I wished for!

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Sigh...

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Seriously, Sue, you're so bad. "Nomads are far better than Snipers in this game", everyone. Both the growth Archer and the prepromoted Sniper are better than Sue.

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That's.. a lot of people coming our way.

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Okay, for now, let's get one problem out of the way.

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"Look, it's me, Douglas' daughter! I won't tell you that, though, because it would be stupid to do the prudent, reasonable thing!"

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Then she leaves the screen for one second and inmediately returns. I'm not sure what exactly happened there. Did Percy try to stab a disarmed woman? Did he try to run her over? Did she just trip?

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Perceval doesn't know Douglas' daughter. I could understand the Western Islanders not knowing who she is, but Perceval? I thought he and Douglas were in good terms! How can you be a friend of someone and not know he's got a daughter?

I can't remember if they ever explain this, but I hope they do, because unless I'm forgetting something, Douglas definitely wasn't hiding the fact that he had adopted Lalum.

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Of course. And you just assumed she'd be... what...

What in the world did you assume she was, Perceval?! You see a random girl in Douglas' manor and you don't do so much as asking the guy who she is?!

Also, Douglas'*, unless all my english teachers were wrong.

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He says while looking down at her assets. Oh, Percy, Percy, Percy. Tsk tsk.

Then again, with those Zyney eyes of his, it's not easy to tell where he's looking, exactly.

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At least she did tell him about the Prince. She's not completely dumb.

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Oh my, it's the SHIT EMBLEM!

PYss9UA.pngOoH6S8P.pnguXUTHIv.png7ejbUIT.png

Who could've foreseen that!?

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Indeed it was. If only Douglas would listen to reason so receptively... and, you know, TO HIS OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER.

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Okay, he might have a reason not to listen to his daughter, all things considered.

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So, Perceval. See this? This is Perceval. Some people would find this very funny. I don't.

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Let's compare him to our best man: Lot. He's as fast as him, stronger, luckier, more skilled and resistant, and has only a few less points of defense and HP while being a Paladin who can use every weapon but bows. Speaking of weapons, he has A ranks in swords and lances, and a C in axes. Of course, with all these advantages, one would thing his growths would be around the same as Niime's, right? Well NO! HE HAS BETTER GROWTHS THAN MARCUS!

This guy is better than Minerva. At least she needs a promotional item. Perceval? Perceval needs absolutely nothing. He's completely absurd at this point of the game, and will remain completely absurd for the rest of it. It's extremely easy to recruit him, and if you use him, the game turns into Kindergarden Mode.

I won't use him. However, I want that Knight's Crest for the money, so he'll survive this chapter.

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Instead of Perceval, let's... let's train up our great daughter of Lyn.

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Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh... you know, sometimes I wish I wasn't so stuck-up and could allow myself to use Perceval, Minerva, Rutger and the rest.

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Saul attacks while Raigh does the healing for the turn.

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Now, it's time to figure out how to deal with this bitch. She has aircalibur, so the most urgent thing to do is obviously to get Tate out of there.

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Take care of that, Percy.

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You too, Cecilia, she doubles you. Don't worry, however, you're still the best Valkyrie in my eyes.

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Okay, if the Bandits had the decency to wait a couple more turns, everything would be just swell.

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Why does this game hate me so much.

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Garret's probably the most forgettable character in FE6, and not even in a funny way.

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Okay, Ratface.

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And of course, they move the moment they arrive. Now we have exactly two turns to get to the hammerne, or we'll lose it. But quite honestly, I'd rather lose the hammerne than a unit.

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Saul hit this guy critically. This time, I was absolutely determined to get one of those very elusive Bishop crit frames.

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So after much rewinding and slowing down the game to a fraction of its normal speed...

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This is the best I could get. No, I didn't edit that in: I could only get the ugliest frame in the whole animation, a blue circle around the staff's tip. I tried.

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Nice! That could've gone better, but it certainly could've gone far worse. This, I am happy with.

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Oh, no, why did you have to hug the mountains, you idiot? What if the Wyvern's able to reach you now? I need that cash!

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Okay, good.

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Jesus Christ, this girl's pathetic.

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Okay, everything worked out just fine.

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Now, this should be a good kill for Sue.

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Are you fucking serious!?

Okay, all we can do is have Jeigan throw javelins at him and hope he misses one.

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No dice. Urk...

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Have some healing you don't deserve. But know that you don't deserve it. I want to be very clear about that.

xLJC6dm.pngrE1VQ6J.png

Oh, no...

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That's... a lot of distance we have to walk beore we can reach Garret.

In a better world than this one, Garret wouldn't destroy the village, since his whole character is that he doesn't really like raiding and all. But in this piece of garbage, we've officially lost the hammerne. Amazing. I love this game.

02X69Zk.pngRry5L8x.png

Well then, since we cannot save the hammerne, let's at least take care of this Sniper before he can do some real harm.

UqVZkvM.png

Saul kills a guy for fun and WEXP.

A62BbkQ.png

Oh, god, no. Not a killing edge! That's a 100% guaranteed kill, given my luck!

I3ZLKj3.png

And this guy has this, so I can't even throw Perceval in.

pZeBNbq.png

On second thought, let's do it.

So, I am faced with this extremely bad situation. What do I do?

eXbmXP5.pngQyRqfUU.pngVoTHgAt.png

Use Raigh, of course. Unleash the nosferatank!

bVUYYn5.png

Meanwhile, Roy pays the locals another visit.

TPK888a.pngzmuRXrP.pnggua3cYx.pngFzOZO9Z.png

Poor guy. I wonder what he did to earn Raith's hatred.

A9c81Gd.pnguuhq8Ih.png

Nice. Look at those stats! This is all Saul's getting until later in the game, by the way. Yeah. IntSys really doesn't like light magic.

68mgTVT.png

Well, let's hope noone dies.

akUiwx4.pngxKpV0iu.png

Of course. Oh, well, it would be a huge loss if this was FE12, but in this game, I've never really had to use the hammerne, and I probably won't this time either.

FP6ThDV.png

It was at about this point when I went "HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE KILILNG EDGE".

HnZIX7H.png

He's going to get doubled, isn't he?

c3DqM97.png

Of course.

Hu1gium.png

And he got hit critically.

KkbCtoB.png

Of course. Why wouldn't it have hit critically?

KZIE0l3.png

If you're thinking my reaction to the death of my favourite character is underwhelming, well, that's because you didn't see me when this actually happened.

I kid you not, I quit for an entire day. I seriously had no idea what to do, I simply hadn't the heart to continue after this happened. It took me a whole day of thinking about it until I came up with a way to, y'know, be able to motivate myself into not cancelling the LP right here. I won't tell you what it is, though.

When Echidna died in chapter 14 to a very low crit, I laughed, because I knew someone would die in chapter 14. When Treck died in chapter 14x, I was extremely angry, because it was bullshit. When this happened? I just gave up, because that was the third time I'd lost someone to a crit. It's starting to seriously piss me off. It's like the fucking game doesn't want me to enjoy playing it.

It's not even anger that I feel, it's... contempt. They put a god damned Berserker with free 30% crit and enough strength to one-shot everyone that can reach the village with the hammerne staff two turns away from the village, while you're still struggling to deal with the fast as hell Valkyries, the random killing edges, the silver Snipers, the horseslayers, and Perceval. And then you have two choices: either you don't haul ass and risk losing someone to all that crap, or you haul ass and you risk losing someone to Garret's crit.

This may be a bold claim, but by God, I didn't remember this chapter to be so horribly designed against the player. It's basically a "GET LUCKY" situation. With Douglas, you can do some tactical maneuvers to stop/distract/avoid him. Here? Get lucky, don't get critted. Absolutely horrible.

God, I can feel the utter ire creeping back into my heart. I need a minute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yrq6rjS.png

fJoqLHy.pngWPVsJey.png

GA1rC9L.png

IeC0suw.png

aTHWkNx.png

JgipvWj.png

Yes, this is the only way I could convince myself to keep going. Find a way to make Raigh survive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, feeling better now. Let us continue.

ztbhp8x.pnggQQImCo.pngyVes57G.pngzyjwm9I.pngYCaDLyy.pngy1XgV7e.png

At least the others are mostly going after Lot and Wade. That's good, they can take it.

iglwbMK.pngRtoMRJM.png

And to add insult to injury, the fucking game gives Perceval a kill. Urrrrrrgh!

Well, at least we get to see Perceval's sprite. I really dig the colours. I still like Marcus' and Jerrot's palette better, but Perceval's dark style is nice to look at.

AJbT33X.png

Nice dodge.

fRu2yTS.png

Oh, no. Don't wander into Garret's range. When I am the one in control, 30% crit equals death, every time. Unless it's a blue unit. Then they'll never crit unless it's not necessary.

ctxsGze.png

Ah, good. He can't reach them. We might still have a chance.

9jtt2Qm.pngS7C3mqr.pngHRmt9KK.pngVKdKWyR.png

Die, everyone! Except not, because as I said earlier, when I really want someone to crit, they won't! Fuck my life!

05iIrRd.pngz5hwfiZ.png

Good lord, she needs the killer bow to kill someone... get some strength!

QbI1hFD.png

I mean, I can't bench you yet, but I will after you get us to Sacae if you don't stop sucking ass.

Jien6H5.pngEN0DsLE.pngAh8abqy.pngVWAEkVk.png

Okay, that's it. Now, if the Cavaliers had the courtesy to survive, my life might just be a little less miserable.

But what's the chance of them living.

WdoiYWN.pngjG8gvPm.png

Yep, this one ain't surviving. At least he didn't get critted. Good effort.

ED8kUoB.png

Oh. Wow. Nice dodge, but... whoa. He didn't get killed. How positively rare. Let's enjoy this display of mercy from the game's part while it lasts.

hhfLdml.png

They're almost out of the map. This means the game was just waiting until the last moment to crush all my hopes and dreams, because Garret can reach them, so can his Brigand buddy, all the Cavvies have lances, and Lilina can't recruit Garret.

nqLkccY.png

Worst of all, I can't kill the Mercenary, because to do so, I'd have to enter Garret's range of 100% chance to kill (accounting for True Crit).

VPVV2CU.pngGWisrKz.png

Pretty sure Lot could take it.

nDlcUlI.png

Besides, it's not like Garret's going to go after Lot, having those nice, weak greenies right overthere.

tTj09zu.png

Tate levels up.

hXDYOcB.png

It's shit. Was there any doubt?

WikME44.png

Okay, let's watch everyone die.

c2oN4di.png

Huh. Nice dodge.

PGilWhH.png

No crit, but he's going to get doubled because steel lances. And then, he'll join Raigh--

wU5N8j4.png

...

...

...the game... just... let me accomplish one of my goals?

FM4y2mj.png

Of course, this means nothing. More cash means more promotional items, which in turn means more units to train, which in turn means more chances of losing people. It's a long-term investment to slowly destroy my will to live.

399A3Ny.png

Oh, well, while we're all still alive, let's recruit Garret.

5Jm99LG.pngPTDkmbU.pngv8GgBNh.pngfqCzYhj.png

Lilina and Garret engage in a heated battle in which Lilina hopes to ascertain Garret's intentions, while Garret attempts to learn Lilina's name.

pAMHgi8.pngnTOpN3u.png

It's... not going anywhere so far.

poDsurS.pngOjWfjry.png2rnzh6K.png04uKFTO.png

There's a reason Garret is so forgettable. He's just a mashup of Gonzales and Cath.

QhBgt1y.pngfY3slsM.pngGNNLaOP.pngXlqDHos.png

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how this'll play out. I've seen it happen before. Thrice. And then she died. Because I killed her.

zM1xwby.pngvXsV8UB.png

I don't think I missed anything here, by the way. Garret doesn't even give Lilina a chance to speak for herself.

THOwn3Y.pngO02MXck.pngUbi2nq5.png

Oh, you mean crit her to death? That's all right, it's not like I expect anything from this game but death to criticals at this point.

WxYtlsw.pngRcjBRus.pngbRHsRs0.pngy8K8oi0.png

Bold move, Lilina. I respect you for it.

It is certainly more respectable than any of Sheeda/Shiida/Caeda's tactics.

f6LH7WJ.pngchJxVDV.pngxx9yoEH.pngLxD1WwF.png

Old? How old could you possible be? Sure, you're bald, but aside from that, you barely look 30 to me.

Your artwork (because, yes, this guy got artwork but the Sabre Knights, Dice and Frost got jack. Thank you, IntSys) does look older, but in-game?

zNg6dIA.pngcFEQak9.png12VZcm6.pngg3ZQmtR.png

At least you didn't take three chapters to recruit. Just imagine, this guy randomly appearing at bulgar and starting to wreck houses... shudders.

BhEX8z7.pngqTkJutE.pngJya8zh6.png

So that's Lilina's part of the conflict solved.

zRofs1r.pnga81Qztq.pngQKnoDRn.png

And with that...

a81Qztq.pngQKnoDRn.png

a81Qztq.pngQKnoDRn.png

...Garret!

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pP9ZLnP.pngAJPnsID.png

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pP9ZLnP.pngAJPnsID.png

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Finally!

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He's one of ours now! Is he good?

...well, no. Of the three new recruits of the chapter, he's the worst. Mostly because he's a slowpoke. Other than that, his stats are servicable enough. But he's just too slow. Wade gets a pass because he supports with the best unit and his defense is pretty good, but this guy? Nuh-uh.

Well, the Cavaliers survived, and Garret's ours. That's a wrap. Aside from the fact that my favourite unit died.

...

...

...no, not working, I don't feel victorious. We've scored a handful of small victories, and a loss the size of Mount Kilimanjaro. Let's hope next time, we do better.

Until then. See you. I hope you fare better than I did in your FE runs.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot
                       
Fir
                        Wendy
                        Og
ier
                        Treck
                        Barth
                       
Bartre
                       
Elen
                        Echidna
                        Cath
                        Sophia
                       
Raigh

*Discharged

*Retreated after being wounded

*Only dead in route B

*Only dead in route A

*???

Reset count: 5

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 8

 

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Guess Niime gets the Apocalypse, then! (No, really, I'm sorry for Raigh dying, but I honestly never liked him as a unit).

Also, Psycho-Dead-NotDead-WrysLevelPowered!Lugh is THE WEIRDEST FRIGGING THING.

Edited by Goddess Serra
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8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

iD2lDDS.png

I think I can take it now.

Still, no more Wrys. Wasn't that a huge part of this series. You can't go back after all.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

gjR7m4K.pngdfpUKMe.png

Well isn't that nice.

They're off to the bench.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...convince me to use him.

This is you:

Beautiful.png.31159b177f5ad44894cd80a48082fa82.png

So, my case:

Percival is at this point your best option for Durandal. If you're on Sacae he's your only mount option aside from Cecilia who does not work well there and fliers who..... What do they do against bows again?  Being as good as he is with the weapon triangle allows him to fill any niche for physical weapons in the party barring flier killing. Killing Arcardo and Roartz is karmaic. Killing Murdock with him would be fitting too. He supports Dorothy, Cecilia, Douglas and Lalum as well as Klein. He might be necessary for the LP to survive.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why is it surprising? Because I didn't blurt out liters of bile like I usually do?

I'd expect you to want Douglas right away.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why the cheetamen, though?

Because whoever mashed the two together is weird. How should I know?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'd say it's something more along the lines of this.

Pfft.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

qKYLZFj.pngVod79Us.pngB9nJoJX.png

No, seriously, why in the world did we move to "a small fort on the Etrurian border"? I mean, sure, Roy was right: Fae did end up in that fort, which actually raises another question: how in the world did a little girl who supposedly gets tired before even walking out of her own home and has never, ever seen anything but desert overtake us and arrive to this fort earlier than us?

But I digress. Is Roy the luckiest man ever, or is there something the game isn't telling us here?

Probably convenience in motion.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, was she waving that thing around, or did you mug the girl on her way out and happened to find this instead of golden coins?

Probably both.

Obligatory.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

TEA5Obj.pngCqpQCSz.png

Also, this generic was apparently in the invasion of Lycia. That makes him more of a badass than Raith.

Is it one of Sid's old buddies then?

Or is this the last we'll hear of soldier 4857?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

FQFTksu.pngjv8vN71.png

I mean, I'd be worried too, you've too many stats over 15.

Apparently you're worrying about that as well.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Honestly, if Little Shit/Douglas' daughter wasn't in the right place at the right time, Douglas' plan would crumble down like a card castle. He has no way of knowing they are with us!

He also assumed that Percival would want to turn on the kingdom for certain.

Douglas ain't that smart.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

aCSFXCf.pnghNYHw0G.png

We're fucked.

Dead men we are! Dead are we! Oh woe and misery doth fall upon us!

...Eh, she probably barely knows how to do it.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

5pOyHm8.pngAnd with General Matthis and his troops en-route to Lycia, we don't have to worry about the Bernians attacking us from behind, either.

And with that we have a better justification for no Second Invasion of Lycia than all of BB.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

4u6PTeG.png

The real problem are these Valkyries, particularly the one below the hammerne village. We either haul ass to get the hammerne, getting killed in the process, or we are careful and lose the hammerne.

These fuckers.

Always frightening.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The stupid baby blue looks better on igrene than it does on Dorothy. I guess because red/blue/yellow is a better combination to me than brown/orange/blue. You see, the thing is that with Igrene, we get three completely clashing colours, which is fine in a way. With Dorothy, we get two similar'ish colours, and then a completely out of place baby blue. I'm no fashion expert, but that doesn't really work.

Although, I still think Igrene should've gotten brown instead of blue. C'mon, most of her portrait's brown! Why is the baby blue here?

Apparently baby blue bustiers are mandatory sniper equipment.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I should've been more careful what I wished for!

You should have wished him more than luck then.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

fbgAeuY.pnglpWCFIB.pngbt2VvKk.png

Then she leaves the screen for one second and inmediately returns. I'm not sure what exactly happened there. Did Percy try to stab a disarmed woman? Did he try to run her over? Did she just trip?

Probably looking in that bag she had the Wyrnslayer.

Is it a big bag of holding or something?

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Perceval doesn't know Douglas' daughter. I could understand the Western Islanders not knowing who she is, but Perceval? I thought he and Douglas were in good terms! How can you be a friend of someone and not know he's got a daughter?

I can't remember if they ever explain this, but I hope they do, because unless I'm forgetting something, Douglas definitely wasn't hiding the fact that he had adopted Lalum.

Percival's a workaholic who doesn't give a fuck about his co-workers. It's all about the mission for Etruria.

He is the game's Camus after all.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

xG9fNOH.png6iuOBQZ.png

Of course. And you just assumed she'd be... what...

What in the world did you assume she was, Perceval?! You see a random girl in Douglas' manor and you don't do so much as asking the guy who she is?!

Also, Douglas'*, unless all my english teachers were wrong.

That would imply multiple Douglases actually. English is weird.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

OMKw55G.pngu5n6suU.png

He says while looking down at her assets. Oh, Percy, Percy, Percy. Tsk tsk.

Then again, with those Zyney eyes of his, it's not easy to tell where he's looking, exactly.

He's always in 'nam flashbacks. It all makes sense now!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

v8b1CzA.pngHFCdPeI.pngL2ZVuWS.png

Indeed it was. If only Douglas would listen to reason so receptively... and, you know, TO HIS OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER.

But he has to keep up appearances to ensure that the king is still alive after the war ends-

Hold on don't Roartz and Arcardo run off at the start of the chapter? DAMMIT, DON'T BE A XAVIER!

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9Ow6ZBg.png13wSjNl.pngFJj5CgL.png

Instead of Perceval, let's... let's train up our great daughter of Lyn.

I can't.... I just can't sit by that.

You bothering with Sue I mean. Even if I'm on the side of Hector/Lyn I get the appeal of Rath/Lyn.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You too, Cecilia, she doubles you. Don't worry, however, you're still the best Valkyrie in my eyes.

Literally everything about that sentence explains everything wrong.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

KkbCtoB.png

Of course. Why wouldn't it have hit critically?

Replace with Dayni and that's it, that's the exact adequate response.

I kind of jinxed it, remember? And after getting Luck and everything.

With of course on top:

Really.png.069d524055d01bc45043756e319c5038.png

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If you're thinking my reaction to the death of my favourite character is underwhelming, well, that's because you didn't see me when this actually happened.

I kid you not, I quit for an entire day. I seriously had no idea what to do, I simply hadn't the heart to continue after this happened. It took me a whole day of thinking about it until I came up with a way to, y'know, be able to motivate myself into not cancelling the LP right here. I won't tell you what it is, though.

When Echidna died in chapter 14 to a very low crit, I laughed, because I knew someone would die in chapter 14. When Treck died in chapter 14x, I was extremely angry, because it was bullshit. When this happened? I just gave up, because that was the third time I'd lost someone to a crit. It's starting to seriously piss me off. It's like the fucking game doesn't want me to enjoy playing it.

It's not even anger that I feel, it's... contempt. They put a god damned Berserker with free 30% crit and enough strength to one-shot everyone that can reach the village with the hammerne staff two turns away from the village, while you're still struggling to deal with the fast as hell Valkyries, the random killing edges, the silver Snipers, the horseslayers, and Perceval. And then you have two choices: either you don't haul ass and risk losing someone to all that crap, or you haul ass and you risk losing someone to Garret's crit.

This may be a bold claim, but by God, I didn't remember this chapter to be so horribly designed against the player. It's basically a "GET LUCKY" situation. With Douglas, you can do some tactical maneuvers to stop/distract/avoid him. Here? Get lucky, don't get critted. Absolutely horrible.

God, I can feel the utter ire creeping back into my heart. I need a minute.

BB: Well that's your fault for sucking, nub.

I'm honestly surprised you didn't just crack a second time here and now.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

aTHWkNx.png

JgipvWj.png

Yes, this is the only way I could convince myself to keep going. Find a way to make Raigh survive.

THIS CAN ONLY END WELL.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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...

...

...the game... just... let me accomplish one of my goals?

That's just sickening, how that worked out after his death.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

poDsurS.pngOjWfjry.png2rnzh6K.png04uKFTO.png

There's a reason Garret is so forgettable. He's just a mashup of Gonzales and Cath.

He can even support both of them.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

niCS6Dl.png

He's one of ours now! Is he good?

...well, no. Of the three new recruits of the chapter, he's the worst. Mostly because he's a slowpoke. Other than that, his stats are servicable enough. But he's just too slow. Wade gets a pass because he supports with the best unit and his defense is pretty good, but this guy? Nuh-uh.

Well, the Cavaliers survived, and Garret's ours. That's a wrap. Aside from the fact that my favourite unit died.

It's really a shame, I kind of wish he was better.

So this chapter's really only reinforcements from here. That'll certainly be a fulfilling strategic experience.

Edited by Dayni
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3 hours ago, Goddess Serra said:

(No, really, I'm sorry for Raigh dying, but I honestly never liked him as a unit).

First that happens to Raigh, and then you post this.   My heart's already in pieces. . .

@Saint Rubenio I will not fault you in the least if you do a dishonorable reset.

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16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Raigh finishes off this guy for a level. Wish him luck!

IFNAcaE.png

hqdefault.jpg

And he got hit critically.

KkbCtoB.png

Ouch. Slowly running out of mages here. But at least you still have Saul...

be-a-shame-if-something-happened-to-him.

Nah it's fine, I know you promote Lilina in the next chapter. Be careful with the horses.

If it goes on like this, you will have axes and archers left, and Merlinus will be your dodge tank.

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MpQ4Khs.pngKlein!

ylkCmcp.png!! Father! Mother!

OJBitcy.pngOh, Klein... I'm so glad you're well!

ylkCmcp.pngM-mother... that's... that's enough...

7TjKvYm.pngHahah! Now that's something interesting to tell my sister when she comes back to the camp!

ylkCmcp.pngD-don't you dare!

7TjKvYm.png"Hey, Tate! Your dear commander Klein is a mommy's boy!"

OJBitcy.pngOh, perhaps you're just jealous because your sister's boss is such a dashing young boy? Who is yours?

ylkCmcp.pngDon't...

7TjKvYm.png...my boss is dead...

OJBitcy.png...oh... I... I'm sorry, I had no idea...

7TjKvYm.png...you couldn't have known. It's... it's fine.

MpQ4Khs.pngMy deepest condolences. What was your boss' name?

ylkCmcp.png...it was Deke, Father.

7TjKvYm.png...yes...

OJBitcy.pngDeke? He's dead, too? Oh, no...

MpQ4Khs.png I can't believe it... he, as well... he of all people...

ylkCmcp.png..."too"? "As well"?

OJBitcy.png...Klein... I'm... I'm so sorry...

MpQ4Khs.pngIt's... your sister.

ylkCmcp.png...

ylkCmcp.png...no...

7TjKvYm.png...

Part 29 - A ray of hope.

Small spoilers: something good will happen in this update. Something that made the Ruben that was forced to quit for a full day, lest he risked destroying his computer, the Ruben that couldn't find it in him to go on, into a new, hopeful, optimistic, cheerful Ruben.

Keep your eyes peeled. The transition from pissed!Ruben to happy!Ruben will be subtle. Don't miss it.

On 22/3/2018 at 9:28 PM, Goddess Serra said:

Guess Niime gets the Apocalypse, then! (No, really, I'm sorry for Raigh dying, but I honestly never liked him as a unit).

Whoa. Way to be bruttish, eh? What if I killed off a unit you like and said something so horrible about them, huh? How'd you feel?

On 15/3/2018 at 5:03 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

dBzNj31.png

So long, you little shit! Have fun being annoying to recruit into the afterlife!

On 22/3/2018 at 9:28 PM, Goddess Serra said:

Honestly, I take pride in the fact that I love Cath.

...I'm a horrible person, aren't I?

Also, Psycho-Dead-NotDead-WrysLevelPowered!Lugh is THE WEIRDEST FRIGGING THING.

Why, that means I succeeded! Thanks, man.

 

On 22/3/2018 at 9:34 PM, Dayni said:

I love that profile picture. So silly...!

I think I can take it now.

Still, no more Wrys. Wasn't that a huge part of this series. You can't go back after all.

Let us weep manly tears.

Well isn't that nice.

They're off to the bench.

Poor Klein. He's about to have his everything broken.

This is you:

Beautiful.png.31159b177f5ad44894cd80a48082fa82.png

Actually, no. I did admit Perceval is good, did I? All I'm saying is that I don't need to use him.

So, my case:

Still, I'll defend my stance.

Percival is at this point your best option for Durandal.

Affordable losses.

If you're on Sacae he's your only mount option aside from Cecilia who does not work well there

If I'm on Sacae, Sue will be at least a level 2 Nomad Trooper.

and fliers who..... What do they do against bows again?

I only have one flier, and the delphi shield exists.

Being as good as he is with the weapon triangle allows him to fill any niche for physical weapons in the party barring flier killing.

Douglas is almost as good as him with the weapon triangle.

Killing Arcardo and Roartz is karmaic

Cecilia would be more fitting. She almost died because of those two.

Killing Murdock with him would be fitting too.

What? Murdock invaded Ilia, not Etruria!

He supports Dorothy, Cecilia, Douglas and Lalum as well as Klein.

No Saul support, no support triangle. I'm saving those B slots for Yodel.

Cecilia has Lilina, Douglas has Igrene (I don't think I'll have the cash to buy Geese a promotional item, and he isn't worth one anyways), Lalum doesn't need supports.

He might be necessary for the LP to survive.

Nonsense! Absolute... blunderbuss! I refuse to listen! LALALALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING LALALALALALALALALALALAL!

I'd expect you to want Douglas right away.

No. Douglas can't come late enough. I want him in my army, but chapter 16? That's another story.

Because whoever mashed the two together is weird. How should I know?

Then why'd you send that version and not the normal one?

Pfft.

Is that the sound of you vomiting through your ears?

Probably convenience in motion.

Of course, I should've known.

Obligatory.

Amazing.

Is it one of Sid's old buddies then?

Or is this the last we'll hear of soldier 4857?

Who knows...

Apparently you're worrying about that as well.

I am, if he dies, I lose 5000 gold.

He also assumed that Percival would want to turn on the kingdom for certain.

Douglas ain't that smart.

He's too busy being loyal.

Dead men we are! Dead are we! Oh woe and misery doth fall upon us!

...Eh, she probably barely knows how to do it.

And she can only do it 30 times. Lot can take 30 hits from a dragon, I'm sure.

And with that we have a better justification for no Second Invasion of Lycia than all of BB.

That required establishing Elibe and Archanea to be in the same universe and Matthis being good. It's still better than Binding Blade's "let's forget Lycia exists and hope the player does, too".

These fuckers.

Always frightening.

They're just the worst!

Apparently baby blue bustiers are mandatory sniper equipment.

Female Sniper equipment. For male Snipers, it's white.

You should have wished him more than luck then.

Considering what would happen later, I should, yeah...

Probably looking in that bag she had the Wyrnslayer.

Is it a big bag of holding or something?

It's Doraemon's pocket!

Percival's a workaholic who doesn't give a fuck about his co-workers. It's all about the mission for Etruria.

He is the game's Camus after all.

No. He's recruitable. Gale's Camus.

That would imply multiple Douglases actually. English is weird.

Stupid english...

He's always in 'nam flashbacks. It all makes sense now!

Either that or he's got a bland character design. I'll go for the latter, it allows me to insult Perceval.

But he has to keep up appearances to ensure that the king is still alive after the war ends-

Hold on don't Roartz and Arcardo run off at the start of the chapter? DAMMIT, DON'T BE A XAVIER!

Yeah, at that point, with Roartz and Arcardo out of the picture and Narcian going too insane to care, Douglas definitely should've defected.

I can't.... I just can't sit by that.

You bothering with Sue I mean. Even if I'm on the side of Hector/Lyn I get the appeal of Rath/Lyn.

What would you like, then? Me bothering with her brother? Pfft. Nonsense! He's good! God forbid, I use a good unit. I'm too much of a hipster for that. Even though I don't consider myself a hipster. Or really care much for that whole term. But if refusing to use Perceval makes me a hipster, then I shall gladly accept the name!

Literally everything about that sentence explains everything wrong.

Heheheheheheh... hey, let a man have his waifu. And now that my first waifu's here (should be pretty obvious who it is), it's only going to get better.

Replace with Dayni and that's it, that's the exact adequate response.

I kind of jinxed it, remember? And after getting Luck and everything.

You piece of crap. This death's on you, not me!

With of course on top:

Really.png.069d524055d01bc45043756e319c5038.png

I'm so happy I didn't try to hide my fuck-up that day.

BB: Well that's your fault for not sucking, nub.

Why, you little--

I'm honestly surprised you didn't just crack a second time here and now.

Hey, as I said in that huge bible of a rant, I did. Only, instead of it being comical, it was serious. And I was still slightly pissed off at the game when this update began, until a ray of hope shone through the dark clouds.

THIS CAN ONLY END WELL.

Let's hope it does!

That's just sickening, how that worked out after his death.

This game is the embodiment of cruelty!

He can even support both of them.

I knew he could support Gonzo, but I'd forgotten about Cath. Hah.

It's really a shame, I kind of wish he was better.

With Geese having skill and Gonzo having everything but skill, Garret might've worked as some sort of Lot-ish Berserker, with higher defenses than those two, but lower offensive stats. Sadly, though, they just decided to make him Bartre 2.0.

So this chapter's really only reinforcements from here. That'll certainly be a fulfilling strategic experience.

It will, believe me. Great things will happen. Don't you dare skip the update.

 

20 hours ago, eclipse said:

First that happens to Raigh, and then you post this.   My heart's already in pieces. . .

The foul Serra... Dayni, kill her off in your LP! Let them suffer what we've suffered!

@Saint Rubenio I will not fault you in the least if you do a dishonorable reset.

Sorry, but the show must go on! Besides, after what happens later, I'm not resetting.

 

11 hours ago, Garlyle said:

Ouch. Slowly running out of mages here. But at least you still have Saul...

be-a-shame-if-something-happened-to-him.

I swear, you guys are going to be the death of me.

Nah it's fine, I know you promote Lilina in the next chapter.

Hugh also joins next chapter, so there's that.

Be careful with the horses.

If it goes on like this, you will have axes and archers left, and Merlinus will be your dodge tank.

I hope it doesn't come to that.

 

1 hour ago, deskita said:

I'm starting to wonder just how few many people will be alive by the end of the game.

Lot.

...

And Roy.

 

Spoiler

O4nCzBN.png

Last time, we recruited Garret after he ruined the hammerne village.

dwR3dYZ.png6a4x8qU.png4fxv0TC.png

Let's put him to good use. Help your new acquaintance kill one of your former subordinates!

kBWMRe4.png

You've got to be kidding me! You're the one unit who does not need these!

BBdeUUq.png

Only one enemy left in the vicinity.

9MYzgJy.png

I mean, what's the chance of that killing someone?

TmgW0zA.png5r09toJ.png9agT6nR.png

Well, he can't reach Lalum, so... nobody should die, I hope?

1OTMXFu.pngNbabllw.png

That was productive.

rxlGSQK.png2CASiYZ.png

Sue levels up, at last. Strength, strength, strength...

uwQlNiY.png

She's still the worst, but... slightly less worse, now. Good effort.

bfdJo7C.pngWKZKr8Q.pngLmF9caZ.pngCbHi4xm.png

Look, Cecilia's crit! It's almost as hard to cap as the Bishop crit, but not quite as much.

XIBirgG.png

Don't do this to me, Cecilia...

TwpMc6G.png

Here's the store. It's pretty crap. I bought some things, but don't worry: I didn't spend more than 1925 gold, meaning I can still buy as many promo items as before.

p03VOdX.png0mapn85.png

Healing n' visiting.

Bve0i3v.png81AX9j2.pngFeHyPwi.png

Hopefully they won't. Although, if anyone has to fight, Cecilia and Douglas could be able to go for at least 2 rounds of combat without killing each other. He goes after Wade, he's dead. He goes after Lilina, she's dead.

9uEJ5Af.pnggU6zJyH.png

Neat level. 5 more of these and perhaps you won't be one-shot by everything.

zYWdqGa.png

Not much left but move up and assault the castle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

4pBxQbA.pngGeneral Cecilia!

2KXjEwj.pngSir Marcus, we're in the middle of the battle.

4pBxQbA.pngThe castle troops don't seem to intend to attack us any time soon. Besides, this is urgent.

2KXjEwj.png...I take it you also saw what happened to the kid.

4pBxQbA.pngYes! He disappeared out of thin air! Do you have any ideas?

2KXjEwj.pngWell, right before he vanished, I managed to get a glimpse of him... and he was not alone.

4pBxQbA.pngWhat do you mean, he was not alone?

2KXjEwj.pngI couldn't see it well, but there was somebody else. Whatever it was that took him... he did not leave on his own accord. That, I'm sure of.

4pBxQbA.pngHmph... we shall discuss this matter further after the battle.

2KXjEwj.pngYes, we shall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

bInLfVY.png

Getting there...

plK7f7j.pngQGVA0N7.pngivQWJ67.png

Reinforcements! Raith is almost as bad as Morgan at using reinforcements. Let them come!

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...well? Where are those reinforcements?

NqLQYt4.pngZxeyzVK.png

Marcus and Lot will hold the line. But before that, talking!

vG8Pr7b.pngChgwIST.pngsry2U2z.png

Perceval?

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Eh, I suppose that checks out. He's young, after all.

n8erLlc.pngy3gxs8s.png

Yeah, you're completely right, Marcus!

tJgsWLM.pngbo1rIv3.pngNFZFVbO.png

Yeah, you do that, Oifey!

QDqYckv.pngUUr8Phz.png

Oi, Roy! He's far better than you!

jJdxi1m.pngoIDvTq2.png

Exactly! He's Oifey, after all!

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Oh, how I wish I could bench you, Boi.

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C'mon, Marcus, don't be like that. Stand up to him! He's obviously mocking you!

FWRX0iq.pngnoMSynm.pngPae2cRu.png

...or you could prove your worth! Indeed, Marcus, you are! Show them all!

kIoSRrV.pngYUQthra.pngAA9EWoa.png

And that's it. Small bonuses for Marcus.

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Give up, Raith. You're no match to us.

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Son of a--

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Attack me, you bitch! Or, at the very least, get closer!

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Another kill for Lilina is inbound.

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Firey popcorn!

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Simple, yet effective formation.

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Ah, there are the reinforcements!

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Oh, for the love of God, the Valkyrie took the fort!

2jhbYyG.png3eZ4RFl.png

Baaah...

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Guess it's up to Dorothy again.

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Nice! Nice, nice, nice! Absolutely perfect!

FMvdnIe.pngh6aeYQi.png8OL4IR5.png

Brace for impact, everybody.

jG4BkGF.png6hYyPON.pngR5f29hY.pngqbZTNtw.png

Jeez... that's a lot of filler, weak Cavaliers. And not even one Paladin! Raith, you can't be serious.

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This is the formation I'll be using to confront the cavalry. The best units on the front, both Snipers and Saul acting as artillery, the others just... hanging around behind them. All things considered, I should probably have moved Roy closer to Marcus so he could get a little more dodge.

t2UDST2.png6lKoflk.pngBQZ3Rgl.png

Jeez, this is so boring...

LgpKMVN.png

Ahhhhh! Shit!

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Oh, thank God...

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Fuck my life, that was close... but it's Marcus. Marcus wasn't about to die so easily. He must prove only he can be of use to Roy!

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I don't want Igrene to waste more uses of the killer bow. Sue can't kill anything with the iron bow anyways.

OachuuR.pngJdaqMd0.png0bnfDm0.pnglAQ9H6C.png

This should a good occasion to train Sue up a little.

Mu0Lo2q.png0RoLJlN.png

Holy moly...

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Okay, I'm going to skip all of this.

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Sue, no... you can't afford this sort of crap...

OUdrFxo.pngYKHOHl5.pngE0a2AGt.png

A lot of highly repetitive actions later, only four Cavaliers remain.

eNZ6VUh.png

Igrene gets this. It's fine, speed's good.

A2zPr1e.pngXk86H7c.pngToCavNS.png0zUdJlT.png

That's it for Raith's reinforcements. What a joke.

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Let's advance cautiously and lure one of the Wyverns in.

1FLPHCB.pngVaSiIOY.png

Good.

IrjJrik.png

Uuhhhh! Jeigan level!

25aBXoy.png

Hype! Hype! Hype!

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Hy--

Oh, who am I kidding... with my luck, he'll get a crap, Jeigan-ish lev--

xYvBe7W.png

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! OOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOUHUHUHUHUH! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!

YES! YES! ALL MY MISFORTUNE... ALL THE DEATH... ALL THE BLOOD THAT HAS BEEN SPILLED HASN'T BEEN FOR NAUGHT! THE UNIVERSE HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO REWARD ME FOR MY TROUBLES!

xYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.pngxYvBe7W.png

AHH HELL YEAAAAAAH! MARCUS! YOU TRULY ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BE OF ANY USE TO LORD ROY!

2dVEpZN.png

At first I was only going to make this one. But you know what?! It felt like it was too little! SO I WENT AHEAD AND MADE ANOTHER 7 OF THESE!!

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Vazaate.png

MOVE ASIDE, SETH! SCREW YOU, SIGURD! WHO CARES ABOUT PERCEVAL!? TITANIA, FREDERICK, WHOEVER'S FATES'S OIFEY, NONE OF THEM CAN STAND UP TO MARCUS'S AWESOME POWER!

F3QxwUg.png

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I'M SO HAPPY! I'M SO HAPPY I PRESSED ON! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT... IT'S... PURPLE! THE PURPLE GOD HAS DESCENDED UPON US TO GRACE MY ARMY WITH HIS AMAZING MIGHT! IT'S... IT'S... YESSSSSSSSSSS!

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'TIS TRULY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! ALL THAT I HAVE EVER DONE... IT HAS CULMINATED IN THIS! IT'S FATE! THIS MOMENT IS WHAT I HAVE LIVED FOR!!

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Truly, Marcus is the best Oifey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

vmLZPjL.pngjT1yBSg.png

God, that was great. Great! Yes! Bring it on, Zephiel! I'm ready to defeat you! We are ready to defeat you!

NBZSPg2.pngTRSniRe.png

Wyvern down! Next!

gttqMI3.pngS1qDfQn.png

Hah! Pathetic!

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Who cares this was the first time you critted after being recruited, and that it was the one time I didn't want you to crit! Marcus got a great level up! Nothing else matters!

kwJStXV.png2WndFPs.png

Coming for you, Raith!

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These desperate efforts shan't stop the Purple God!

GuBQrdj.pngcdlxvdX.pngOWkeS5m.png

Down you go, Sniper! And soon, the others will follow!

eIC19Cy.png

1 point 'til speed cap, everybody.

ekkwfHC.pngDMniQkb.pngUinApUf.png

One guys survived, but who cares! He's doomed, just like the rest!

mn2H9Uu.pngJmw1ebO.pngNJSHgvM.png

Ladies and Gentlemen, Wade doubled a guy.

d4aNYm7.pngcdyPQ26.png

Speed! He got speed! Amazing!

pBaseJr.png

C'mon, Etruria, that's not how you stab somebody with a spike. You're supposed to shove the pointy end into the enemy, not the base!

Gy693sx.pngYkQ2kCk.pnglrW4X05.png

That's it? Raith, you bore me.

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Sue can't kill a Wyvern. Who cares, Marcus got a good level up!

cLB4KB1.png

I was not able to conduct some more poetic justice, but who cares! Marcus got a good level up!

znSwIC2.pngthoYfG2.pngubAljmb.pngJqmNCtL.png

And that's it for Raith's forces. Only the man(?) himself remains.

Un7KHg9.pngimQxIKz.png

Sue can't do anything. On the other hand...

FEVe67K.pngF8Vct8r.png

Dorothy and God absolutely ruin the guy.

Uo6u5qV.png

Hmm... I wonder...

L3ul6Eu.pngX4Tf8Up.png

Perfect.

9NSc0xs.png98Tyifv.png

That's because you're dumb and your face is stupid. Seriously, we love laughing at Lundgren for having a pointy chin and nose, but look at this guy! His nose, chin, and hair are pointy! And he looks much younger than Lundgren! Is this his son or what?

BWJTzHX.pngdHhvZGd.png

Nice, that was good. Excellent job, Lilina.

OhVGUkf.pnghdi7sAf.png

Saul fares better.

WMbk0XK.pngb7BInkm.png

As does Lot. Look at this idiocy. They put Raith next to a mountain tile! As if there was any need for anything other than his horrible stats to trivialize this boss...

o5IH7CZ.pngjYQTxWR.png

Lilina gets out of harm's way and gets healed by Cecilia while Saul smites Raith.

BMOXjUa.png

Now, I could finish the fight right here, but it would be a waste. Raith isn't even a very high level, Lot wouldn't benefit that much from killing this buffoon.

Zsxl122.pngnivFdEM.png

Instead, I let him heal and then get him down to 1 HP. See where I'm going with this?

Zoxr49Z.png

Nice! That'll also be a level up for Lot. If he could get some strenght, I'd be so happy.

vpA1Llw.png

Holy shit. With HP capped, that's a nearly perfect level up.

I think the game understood it went too far with Raigh and is trying to make amends now. You know, I never thought pieces of software could have minds of their own, but this... is starting to make me question that.

I won't forgive it just yet, though. Maybe after Idoun goes down.

Oh, and Douglas is officially completely outclassed in pretty much every way. Lot now has better defense than him when within 3 tiles of Wade. Hoo, boy.

seVyiKu.png

Hmph. Worth the risk.

v3B2yai.png

So long, pinky!

XCYvIfx.pngvuUPOLL.pngmbZkkOF.png

Oh, he figured it out! How smart you are, Ratface! I'm so proud of you! Please die.

CgSF6M9.png

Meh... decent, I guess.

U4ICZbe.pnge0E6qNw.pngw05goUn.pngRKWWJDL.png2wqamGy.png

And a bunch of staff experience later (because two physic users is great)...

JcrN5OX.png

Le seizing!

Kz7smbf.pngdgm1t3O.pngseH5OT9.png

What, aren't you worried she might be a trap? What a shocker.

Yi8V0PY.pngEjrBJVW.png

Yeah, she's just a girl. A girl who can run faster than grown men and women.

IBk5atM.pngKqNWuEm.png

D'aww, poor girl. She outran us to this keep because of her youthful curiosit--

PXLA4kC.pnge1NaHhm.png

What part of "easy, Merlinus" did you not comprehend, Merlinus?! Get out!

6og0iIM.png

Oh, no, now she's going to cry. I hope she gets mad and burns you alive, Stachey.

IsIuFst.png8kSGfjh.pngMW8iNCU.png8gEWcg7.png

Okay, I stand corrected. She made us cry instead.

TnSZlqg.pngc7zoxY3.pngN1xRpwe.png

Merlinus, I want you to pay attention to what Roy just said.

c7zoxY3.pngN1xRpwe.png

It's the same you told Fae earlier. Now, let's compare Roy's version to your own.

PXLA4kC.pnge1NaHhm.png

Do you see where I'm getting at yet?

If not, I recommend that you watch this video. Roy's the book, you're the movie. Draw your own conclussions. Imbecile.

AEDWzfU.pngv75We0Y.png

2X1rakK.pngLJ12CF4.png

dNkU0VP.pngLJ12CF4.png

dNkU0VP.pngLJ12CF4.png

dNkU0VP.pngLJ12CF4.png

2KXjEwj.pngRoy, I think that's enough. You're going to make her cry again.

Xb8ZQ0W.pngCome now, just one more time...

2KXjEwj.pngNo. Let the girl be, or I'll take over.

Xb8ZQ0W.pngSigh... fine, Cecilia.

Xffyuu9.pngEAYmh7e.pngskvIaXh.png

Let me guess, "I object, Lord Roy! It could be a trap!".

w1xvgya.pngqvCRPQ8.png

Especially now that Igrene is with us, and Arcadia is thus completely defenseless.

okrZA8Y.pngZY6CNCx.png

Don't be such a buzzkill, Merlinus. I know it's your second name, but try to forget who you are for a century or two. Pretty please?

2zCkIGz.pnggLEZUlO.png8TMmYv2.png

Fae pinky swears. Hah!

iUndSOX.png

Had we failed to save Perceval's scrubs get lucky with the hitrates and Garret's crit, that would've been the end of it. Instead, we get to see some more dialogue.

ai5zWLg.pngU0ntUU0.png

This reminds me, I forgot to show Perceval's conversation with Roy in the chapter.

EsfhM6Y.png

That's the Knight's Crest. Apparently, if only one of Perceval's greenies falls, absolutely nobody bothers looking around the castle for goodies. Joy.

NjKgHXw.pngr0y92wY.pngHdyfAcD.png

No, you won't. You'll be going straight to the bench-- I mean, straight to defending the backlines. That's a very important job!

0CDXnuc.png

Woohoo! Another 5000 gold for Hugh/the secret shop!

All's well that ends well. Marcus got a good level up, which means this ended well, as treacherous as the road was. Tomorrow/in two days/in three days/whenever...

hAhAGTQ.png

Oh, no.

vDjNn5u.pngHd8cfoJ.png

No!

LvLmt2m.png
zOmSbjL.png

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Well, then. Tomorrow, Douglas shall live... no matter the cost. Until then, farewell. Or attempt to, at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Later...

 

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Ib7YefX.pngXGp5I24.png4gkX23Y.png

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To be continued.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot
                       
Fir
                        Wendy
                        Og
ier
                        Treck
                        Barth
                       
Bartre
                       
Elen
                        Echidna
                        Cath
                        Sophia
                       
Raigh

*Discharged

*Retreated after being wounded

*Only dead in route B

*Only dead in route A

*???

Reset count: 5

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 8

 

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5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I love that profile picture. So silly...!

Valtertuff will gladly savour the hunt.

And the frolicking.

5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Beautiful.png.31159b177f5ad44894cd80a48082fa82.png

Actually, no. I did admit Perceval is good, did I? All I'm saying is that I don't need to use him.

It does say not worth using, not that he's bad.

Also, I thought it was a good edit actually.

6 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Affordable losses.

If I'm on Sacae, Sue will be at least a level 2 Nomad Trooper.

I only have one flier, and the delphi shield exists.

Douglas is almost as good as him with the weapon triangle.

Cecilia would be more fitting. She almost died because of those two.

What? Murdock invaded Ilia, not Etruria!

No Saul support, no support triangle. I'm saving those B slots for Yodel.

Cecilia has Lilina, Douglas has Igrene (I don't think I'll have the cash to buy Geese a promotional item, and he isn't worth one anyways), Lalum doesn't need supports.

Alright, you do actually make decent cases here, though I'm not sure we're going to have a right/wrong here (unless everyone else is dead).

Losing a legendary weapon for the endgame counts as acceptable (Sure Roy, but...)? Sue being a unit who's pretty disappointing still holds true. True, you only have Tate, but I could see you using Zeiss. Douglas doesn't get swords, but I can see it. Wait, no I can't it's Douglas. Cecilia.... I'll give it. But I don't know if she can. Murdock is by far the strongest of the generals, hence why I said fitting to have these two fight. Oh yeah, Yodel. And everyone else I guess.

24 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Nonsense! Absolute... blunderbuss! I refuse to listen! LALALALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING LALALALALALALALALALALAL!

I did say may, not definitely.

That being said, if it does end up being definite should there be a bet?

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Then why'd you send that version and not the normal one?

I thought it was cheesy enough for Merlinus.

What? And ruin the reputation of the actual track?

7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Is that the sound of you vomiting through your ears?

That is a weak chuckle out of me.

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No. He's recruitable. Gale's Camus.

Well, he fits the look of the Camuses up to this point.

It wouldn't be the only time a Camus was recruitable, though Gale is more fitting.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What would you like, then? Me bothering with her brother? Pfft. Nonsense! He's good! God forbid, I use a good unit. I'm too much of a hipster for that. Even though I don't consider myself a hipster. Or really care much for that whole term. But if refusing to use Perceval makes me a hipster, then I shall gladly accept the name!

I have tried to make the case before, but it's apparent that you will stick to your guns.

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It will, believe me. Great things will happen. Don't you dare skip the update.

What, me miss one?

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The foul Serra... Dayni, kill her off in your LP! Let them suffer what we've suffered!

But she can heal things.

I'm not going to get her killed intentionally.

11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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She's still the worst, but... slightly less worse, now. Good effort.

Sue got strength?

*gasp

12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Oi, Roy! He's far better than you!

Boi don't make that face, he can slap your backside raw.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Ahhhhh! Shit!

Once again, Oh No.

14 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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At first I was only going to make this one. But you know what?! It felt like it was too little! SO I WENT AHEAD AND MADE ANOTHER 7 OF THESE!!

Another 7? The memes indeed flow!

15 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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This is a really happy man.

16 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Truly, Marcus is the best Oifey.

With a pile of bodies in his wake. 

Still though, Def, Str and Spd is great for him.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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That's because you're dumb and your face is stupid. Seriously, we love laughing at Lundgren for having a pointy chin and nose, but look at this guy! His nose, chin, and hair are pointy! And he looks much younger than Lundgren! Is this his son or what?

Artist's representation

Also, does this mean Lundgren's bastard ran off to Bern at some point, never came back because he didn't think an uprising would work and rose in the ranks?

While never bothering to get good levels.

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Holy shit. With HP capped, that's a nearly perfect level up.

I think the game understood it went too far with Raigh and is trying to make amends now. You know, I never thought pieces of software could have minds of their own, but this... is starting to make me question that.

I won't forgive it just yet, though. Maybe after Idoun goes down.

Oh, and Douglas is officially completely outclassed in pretty much every way. Lot now has better defense than him when within 3 tiles of Wade. Hoo, boy.

Lot's our boy!

That's a lot to proc at once, great level!

19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Yeah, she's just a girl. A girl who can run faster than grown men and women.

A lone girl outrunning an army through a desert?

Say it ain't so.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

WHY DOUGLAS, WHY?

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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I like this edit.

Nothing else to say.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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This idiot is the best captain.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Frost apparently makes him look like a chump though. Oh.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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You know what, you tell him Frost.

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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And with that generic captain has lost my vote.

Least some good came out of it. The trouble is coming though.

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1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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ah man, this Marcus is legendary

truly the only one who can be of any use to Lord Roy, indeed

(and come to think of it, he could probably be your Durandal user, right? it depends on what his sword rank looks like now, of course, but it's not like you have any better sword users at this point)

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

MOVE ASIDE, SETH! SCREW YOU, SIGURD! WHO CARES ABOUT PERCEVAL!? TITANIA, FREDERICK, WHOEVER'S FATES'S OIFEY, NONE OF THEM CAN STAND UP TO MARCUS'S AWESOME POWER!

i guess i can kind of answer the bit about Fates's Oifey: some people consider Jakob or Felicia (you only get one of them early depending on your avatar's gender, the other comes later) to fulfill that role, but I don't since the game basically treats them as unpromoted units in a promoted class since they have low personal bases, unpromoted experience gain, and can level up to level 40

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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ah, I was just wondering when Margaret would show up again. it's been awhile since we've seen her, hasn't it?

Edited by LucidResolve
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Well, I decided to abide by your request and give you veiws!

(One update read later)

Huh....it seems I missed a lot. ("alot" is not a word)

Anyway, the phenomenon I shall, in the style of Lewis Carrol, refer to as the "Broken Roycord" still retains its comedic value. Also, congratulations to Marcus on his 12th level! A moment for the record books indeed.

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Part 30 - The fair general.

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Hoo, boy, it's sure gonna be fun to upload that to Imgur!

A day of trying to upload the damned thing over and over and failing later...

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...this'll take a while.

On 23/3/2018 at 10:59 PM, Dayni said:

Valtertuff will gladly savour the hunt.

And the frolicking.

And when he dies, he'll say "urgh... gaaaaaaaaaah!"

Valter's death quote is best death quote.

It does say not worth using, not that he's bad.

Also, I thought it was a good edit actually.

I find it to be quite hilarious as well.

Alright, you do actually make decent cases here, though I'm not sure we're going to have a right/wrong here (unless everyone else is dead).

I mean, if literally everyone else dies, I guess I'll deploy Perceval. After Merlinus.

Losing a legendary weapon for the endgame counts as acceptable (Sure Roy, but...)?

Yes.

Sue being a unit who's pretty disappointing still holds true.

She'll defy all our expectations, I'm sure of it.

True, you only have Tate, but I could see you using Zeiss.

Zeiss' defense is good enough that he could probably afford to take a non-silver Sniper arrow. It's his speed that worries me more than anything else.

Douglas doesn't get swords, but I can see it.

Actually, I was just joking there. 8 speed, RIP.

Wait, no I can't it's Douglas.

Heheheh... poor Dougy. He just wants to protect his king!

Cecilia.... I'll give it. But I don't know if she can. Murdock is by far the strongest of the generals, hence why I said fitting to have these two fight.

But by far, Lot is my strongest unit, so a fight between the two is more fitting.

Oh yeah, Yodel. And everyone else I guess.

Hah! I win! I'm a badaaassss!

I did say may, not definitely.

That being said, if it does end up being definite should there be a bet?

No. Cease your jinxing of... everything!

I thought it was cheesy enough for Merlinus.

It definitely was, that much is true.

What? And ruin the reputation of the actual track?

This, even moreso than the last line, is very true.

That is a weak chuckle out of me.

Small victories. I'll take it for what it's worth.

Well, he fits the look of the Camuses up to this point.

It wouldn't be the only time a Camus was recruitable, though Gale is more fitting.

...but the whole thing about Camuses is that they're not recruitable. Sure, there are other things, such as their unbending loyalty to their lieges and being aryan, but that isn't exclusive to them. We've got to be strict with the requirements when putting characters into stereotypes, otherwise they cease to be, well, stereotypes..

I have tried to make the case before, but it's apparent that you will stick to your guns.

To the death!

What, me miss one?

Heh, of course, I should've known better.

But she can heal things.

I'm not going to get her killed intentionally.

Then I'm jinxing it! I curse you! Serra will die! I shall now say random spanish words, because as the stereotypical 'murican knows, spanish is weird and perfectly fitting for magical shenanigans! LADRILLO TELEFONO PILAR, SALA DE JUNTAS, ESDRUJULA! ESDRUJULAAAAA!!

Sue got strength?

*gasp

Le shock!

Boi don't make that face, he can slap your backside raw.

Bwahahahah. I can totally see Marcus doing that.

Once again, Oh No.

Nuuuu...

Another 7? The memes indeed flow!

That level's worthy of all the memes.

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This is a really happy man.

With a pile of bodies in his wake. 

Hahahahah... I know there was a quote between these two lines, but it's far more perfect this way.

Still though, Def, Str and Spd is great for him.

It helps him keep on being my best unit.

Artist's representation

That's it. No doubt about it.

Also, does this mean Lundgren's bastard ran off to Bern at some point, never came back because he didn't think an uprising would work and rose in the ranks?

Hmm, pink hair... who do we know that has pink hair...

...oh, no... no no no no no... Serra...!?

While never bothering to get good levels.

He got severely speed screwed.

Lot's our boy!

That's a lot to proc at once, great level!

Ah, good pun. Lot's not as ridiculous a name as Frost, but it definitely has allows for much easier punning.

A lone girl outrunning an army through a desert?

Say it ain't so.

Well, it happened.

WHY DOUGLAS, WHY?

Because Douglas.

I like this edit.

Nothing else to say.

Yeah, I like it also. I'm proud of it. Even though pride is a sin.

This idiot is the best captain.

He is!

Frost apparently makes him look like a chump though. Oh.

You know what, you tell him Frost.

Frost makes everyone look like a chump. He's like, double the size of Perceval. And don't even get me started on his hilarious square-shaped frown. I don't believe I did it justice.

And with that generic captain has lost my vote.

He may regain it, if he hasn't already.

Least some good came out of it. The trouble is coming though.

As usual.

 

On 23/3/2018 at 11:06 PM, LucidResolve said:

ah man, this Marcus is legendary

Isn't he? I don't know how it happened, but I'm glad it happened.

truly the only one who can be of any use to Lord Roy, indeed

Indeed indeed!

(and come to think of it, he could probably be your Durandal user, right? it depends on what his sword rank looks like now, of course, but it's not like you have any better sword users at this point)

Hmm... well, he's at A rank. You know what, maybe it'll happen.

i guess i can kind of answer the bit about Fates's Oifey: some people consider Jakob or Felicia (you only get one of them early depending on your avatar's gender, the other comes later) to fulfill that role, but I don't since the game basically treats them as unpromoted units in a promoted class since they have low personal bases, unpromoted experience gain, and can level up to level 40

Well, then. They're still not as good as Marcus. FE6!Marcus, that is.

ah, I was just wondering when Margaret would show up again. it's been awhile since we've seen her, hasn't it?

She was stuck with the most boring job: defending a country the plot has already forgotten.

 

On 24/3/2018 at 1:33 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Well, I decided to abide by your request and give you veiws!

Thanks, I suppose, but I didn't ask for veiws, I asked for views.

Hah! You've hereby been defeated!

(One update read later)

Huh....it seems I missed a lot. ("alot" is not a word)

I don't know how long you've been gone, but... yeah, I'd wager you did. Go back and catch up! If you haven't already!

Anyway, the phenomenon I shall, in the style of Lewis Carrol, refer to as the "Broken Roycord" still retains its comedic value. Also, congratulations to Marcus on his 12th level! A moment for the record books indeed.

Getting Marcus to his 12th level isn't the best part. It's the fact that he's so throughoutly RNG blessed.

Hey, if nothing else, at least my LPs are great for witnessing strange RNG shenanigans. In my first LP, I got a bad MU. In this one, I get a great Jeigan. What's next?

 

Spoiler

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A.K.A. the filler's over, now you may proceed to the final battle of the arc.

I can't make up my mind here. Last chapter took Raigh from us, but Marcus got a good level up!

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So it's, like, Paris?

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Come to think about it, they did surrender to Bern.

Now, before you call me out on being racist, I'm half-french myself. Knowing this, do you really think I'd be seriously racist towards the french? I'm not that stupid!

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Oh, come now... let me win for once!

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Why is Saul's face there instead of Yodel's? Yodel was introduced before Saul was, for crying out loud! Sure, it was only five minutes and then he disappeared, but my point stands!

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This makes me wish we got an army of green Bishops and Valkyries to help us storm the castle, led by Yodel himself.

On second thought, Yodel alone would destroy Douglas. It's best this way.

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ass Uhh.

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Trading shenanigans. Some of these'll be important later. Not Minerva getting a lance, though.

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Today's team. The usual team, what I hope becomes another member of the usual team (Igrene), Thieves and recruitbot. I learnt the hard way that it is absolutely vital to bring Minerva to this chapter. As in, "I had to reset an hour of playing through chapter 16 flawlessly" hard, which is why, since around chapter 14/14x, a note has been sitting in my desktop, solely to remind me to bring Minerva to this chapter.

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With Minerva safely selected to come along, let us storm the capital.

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The chapter opens with Narcian throwing a temper tantrum. Rightfully so, too. Ever since this game was released, players all 'round the world have spent their playthroughs craving for the moment they could finally spill his blood. Our turn has come to get our fair share of that blood.

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But if you thought Narcian's situation was horrible enough because of us alone... just you watch.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Murdock: the guy I know cannot be recruited, and I know has to be killed, but I do so begrudgingly, because he's such a badass.

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This is his introduction: giving Narcian a verbal smack-down. Amazing.

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I'm sure you don't. You are too busy fantasizing about your own crotch to listen to your superior. But that is about to change.

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What, you thought Murdock would forget about Flaer, Narcian? Slim chance.

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Hohohoh... yes, Narcian, please, explain yourself.

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Which "that"? You've being held accountable for more than just one fuck-up.

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"Explain yourself!"

One minute later.

"Why did I even bother asking? It is painfully obvious that you haven't a valid explanation. Just shut up."

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Ooooohhhh shieeeet!

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No chance! Go roll into a hole and drown in your own slime!

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Rather than refuse to give him another chance, Murdock goes for an even more humiliating alternative: giving Narcian a task he knows he won't be able to accomplish, and will kill him in the process.

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Evidently, Narcian understands this fact. But alas, what can he do?

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Hoo, boy. You know, while we may still be able to destroy Narcian physically... emotionally, I think we've just been beaten to the punch.

Jeez, Murdock, a little longer and you would've been banned from the server for teamkilling. Holy fuck, that was great.

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I'll hand it to Narcian, balderdash is a funny exclamation. Blistering barnacles is still better, but eh...

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Ahem. I can answer that question.

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Were you even paying attention, you gigantic imbecile?

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Poor you. I feel so bad.

Bad for myself, I mean. I was looking forward to destroying you, but Murdock beat me to it! Dang it!

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Yeah, lash out against the innocent soldiers unfortunately under your command. That's about the only thing you can do at this point, aside from grabbing that runesword of yours and shoving it into your throat. But that would ruin your hairdo, we can't have that, now, can we, little Narcian?

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Oh, so this lil' rat has thought something up! Let us hear this no doubt delightfuly devilish plan of yours.

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Genius! One of the three fuck-ups Murdock demoted you for has been safely pushed into a different (innocent) person! Great job, Narcian!

Except that doesn't explain why you carelessly left Flaer behind to die, or why you couldn't be arsed to go help Oates seize Arcadia. What the hell, Zeiss himself was helping out at Arcadia when you were supposed to! Flawless plan, my ass!

...actually, now that I think about it, you could say Zeiss led us to Arcadia. He was in Arcadia but left right before we arrived... it does seem mighty suspicious. Especially since Randy isn't alive to tell anyone how he was the one to send Zeiss back to Aquleia.

Eh. It might be a better plan than what I initially gave you credit for.

That said, "bad" is not much better than "horrible". This still doesn't explain all of your fuck-ups prior to Arcadia.

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It doesn't help that you just screamed your brilliant idea like an idiot for everyone in the castle to hear, topping it off with an evil snicker.

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Thankfully, this soldier is either even stupider than Narcian, or knows the """""""""""""""good"""""""""""""" general is screwed and elects to just ignore his desperate ramblings.

I'll go for the latter.

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I also find it rather funny how this nameless soldier remembers Zeiss's name, while Zeiss's own boss doesn't. Narcian's like Mr. Burns, but less likeable.

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Now that is believable. Oscar-worthy performance right there, Narcian.

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Spoiler alert: he won't do that. Seriously!

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Let's assume for a moment that this soldier is the generic Knights that's in the same room as Narcian. He never moves unless it's to attack someone. And Zeiss hangs out behind a wall for the entire chapter and nobody tries to get him to go see Narcian.

In conclusion, Narcian's an idiot and his subordinates don't give a flying fuck about his dumb orders. Yes, yes, it's shocking! I know! Now shut your trap! Heheheh...

 

 

 

 

 

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Speaking of treacherous rats... look who's here!

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It's the ugliest man in Elibe and his cohort, he of the shit-stained jacket!

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And last but not least, the Dougman himself! He who shall, under no circumstances, leave his king's side! Even if his prince requests that he joins the good guys! Even if his daughter implores him not to waste his life! Even if his colleagues attempt to reason with him! Nothing shall move him! NOTHING!

Both figuratively and literally. His constitution is far too high.

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Roartz decides that the best course of action is, obviously, to bicker with his one remaining ally.

You guys were doomed to fail since the day Orlo fell.

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Wow... I don't believe it. Arcardo... the voice of reason?

It seems to me that in the Etrurian society, intelligence and rank are inversely proportional. Orlo was just the guy in charge of the mines, Morgan was tasked with capturing people and sending them to the mines to work (arguably a more important job than looking over the mines themselves, since without slaves to work to death, the mines might as well be burnt down) and was seen answering directly to Arcardo, who was the overseer of the entire operation in the Western Isles.

And then, on top of them all, is Roartz, the ugliest, dumbest, saddest pile of shit to have ever fallen out of an Etrurian uterus.

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No, seriously, is there even a brain under that one forehead wrinkle?

Maybe it's not a wrinkle, but a bump. Yes, that's it, he bumped his head really really hard when he was a kid, and now he's mentally challenged.

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Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Haaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no.

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Oh, do I hear the sound of buttin' in?

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This piece of info regarding the main villain of the game is just mentioned in passing by Roartz. I'd like all of us to take a moment to appreciate that. At least this is one thing some fanfiction did right: elaborate on Zephiel's backstory.

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Even if you hate Douglas, you have to admit, that one was pretty good.

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You know, this whole "I WILL NOT ABANDON THE KING" deal works a little better if you imagine Douglas doesn't just consider Mordred to be his king, but also his best, oldest friend, perhaps even a brother. Maybe Mordred and Douglas met when Mordred was still the prince and Douglas still wasn't the oldest veteran in the army, and they developed a similar, brotherly relationship as the one between Klein and Delphin.

His absurd loyalty makes more sense because, hey, people tend to do stupid shit for the people they care about, right? Add to that the fact that it's his duty to protect him at all costs, and we have a tragic situation that actually makes sense. Douglas knows the best thing to do would be to defect, but he refuses to put his best friend's life at risk. It's something I can understand and respect.

Sure, nothing in the game hints at the possibility of this being true, and Mordred looks 30 years older than Douglas, but eh, it's a decent explanation, this one I just pulled out of my ass. Certainly better than FE6's "fuck you, he's too loyal, now don't kill him or you won't be able to complete the game".

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Suit yourself for the enemy to carefully avoid all confrontation with you. Yeah.

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And so, Narcian lost nothing of value that day. Narcian may be as dumb and incompetent as him, but... at least he isn't so ugly, goddamnit. I don't meant to say ugly people can't be good people, but... Roartz has fucking everything!

I can understand why everyone always forgets about Roartz. He's so laughably bad... even the game doesn't respect him enough to give him his own theme, even though he's a pretty important bad guy.

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"Lord Roartz, join Bern now!"

"What will you give me in return?"

"Plastic surgery."

"Count me in."

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No! That's not right, you nincompoop! Don't fight us! Noooooooooooooo...

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Meanwhile, outside, even more plot is about to take place.

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That's an awful lot of pillars. Let's see again...

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I don't see any pillars in this shot! Or Yodel, for that matter! We're being scammed!

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Anyway, here's Yodel again. He's a badass.

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I can imagine Yodel just going around the city in his Yodelmobile and both sides would drop their weapons to listen to him.

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Whoa, that's something we should probably have been shown, something they perhaps should've even designed a chapter around, instead of "Fae outruns the army and wanders into some random castle".

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Wise words indeed. Too bad Roartz is the dumbest person on the planet and deemed it prudent to help the guy who wants him and everybody else dead.

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Congratulations, Roy! You just deducted exactly what Yodel just told you! Attaboi, boi!

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They're some of my best troops. I thank you for sending them. Even if Saul is the worst person in existance.

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Roy, what the hell? You were so excited when Yodel told you something obvious, that the church was persecuted because of Bern, but now that he's dropped this hint that may help you solve the mystery surrounding the dragons, you just say "hmm"?

Well, at least it's not like the time Marth learnt Michalis survived dying and was like "ah, that's good".

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Oh, boy, time for a tutorial.

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Actually, no, none of the recruitable troops today was forced into the army against their will. Zeiss was set up by Narcian, but otherwise he was in the army because he wanted to, and Hugh was simply screwed over by Roartz.

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So, is that it? Noone else feelin' like butting in? No? Okay, good.

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Chapter 16! Despite of how much I bitch about this chapter, I actually like it a lot. It's a challenging map with many things to do. Narcian's in the throne room, obviously, there's a bunch of treasure to get, a bolting asshole in that tiny room close to the eastern group, a purge asshole in the northern part of the map, units to recruit... it's a very complete map.

Now, of course, this isn't what we've all come to see.

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The man of the hour is Douglas, the man who shall not leave his king's side! He has to survive the map, and he cannot be recruited, so it's like a harder version of Lilina and chapter 8x.

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And considering how that turned out...

The biggest problem with Douglas is that he doesn't even have a ranged weapon. That would make it much easier, since he wouldn't get himself killed as easily. Seriously, why not give him a tomahawk? As it is, that weapon is completely unobtainable, so why not give it to Doug?

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Hugh is another roadblock we'll have to deal with before finishing the chapter. I'll elaborate on his stats when we recruit him. For now, let's take a look at the fact that he has the member card in his posession. It is of utmost importance that he doesn't take it to the grave. That said, I'd rather recruit him. More on that later.

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Lastly, the boss is, as you know, Narcian, who hasn't leveled up a single time since we last saw him in chapter 13. He's very fast and strong, but his lack of throne bonuses drags him down somewhat, and the Delphi shield can easily be stolen. He's a decent challenge, especially after the last scrub, and the runesword is a force to be reckoned with.

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Let's get moving. Marcus grabs Roy and rides east. If you can take your attention off of Douglas for a second, you'll most definitely be able to guess why I'm doing this.

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This guy is so annoying, and I don't even have a longbow to deal with him.

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Here comes Dougy~

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Inmediately, we get bombarded by a bunch of extremely annoying crap. Saul getting silenced is probably the worst thing that could happen to me right now, so let's pray the bastard misses all of his shots.

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Suddenly, a wild Wyvern appears! Behind a wall.

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Right in front of you, man. I understand the headband covers half of your eyes, but he's close enough that you shouldn't need to ask.

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You'd think Zeiss would've realised something's amiss when Gale told him to meet him behind a wall where nobody can see them.

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Oh, God, yes, please hide. We've enough with Douglas running around to worry about recruiting you as well.

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No, he's just desperate.

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Oh, dear. That's going to be awkward.

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Gale'll say this even if Milady isn't actually here, by the way.

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Murdock didn't even tell Gale to help Narcian not get killed. What a great man.

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And so, non-issue enters the map. Of all the things happening in this chapter, Zeiss is probably the most inconsequential. You just have to remember to bring Milady, and that's it. The game even spells it out for you.

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Let's start fighting. Nice, Dorothy, that's a use of the killer bow you didn't waste.

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Ah, shit, not one of these!

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Okay, it's all good.

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Oh, son of a-- Sue! That's not enough to take another bolting blast!

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(Actually, it was, but at the time I thought it wasn't)

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Run, you useless imbecile!

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Okay, that's it.

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Look, it's more plot!

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Look, it's a hint!

I suppose this is as good a time as any to tell you exactly why Saul has the silence staff, or why him getting silenced now might cost us dearly.

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I don't have enough cash to recruit Hugh. Sure, I could steal the member card from him and kill him, or recruit him for 5000, but I want to use Hugh. As a result of this, you might be wondering, how the hell am I going to deal with TWO unrecruitable units taking shots at my units?

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Well, you see, this chest the cursor is hovering over contains 5000 spending cash. I was hoping that this chest would be in the other treasure room, but alas, it wasn't. All things considered, it might be better this way, those Snipers are scary.

So, here's my plan. I'm going to silence Hugh to buy us enough time to kill the dragon and warp Astolfo inside to open the chest. Sure, I could waste two turns to open the door and save a warp use, but honestly, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Besides, hoarding is never good. If I had to choose, I'd rather run out of warps and not be able to use it one time I'd like to than let it sit inside the convoy forever and only use it once.

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That taken care of, hahahahahah... fools! Even if he got hit critically, Wade wouldn't have died!

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Here comes Dougy~

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Huh? What?

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Ah, bollocks. okay, he would've died if he got hit critically. Sigh...

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Can we stop getting hit already?!

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On second thought, if it gives Saul enough spare luck to dodge every silence shot, I'll be happy.

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You! I refuse to let you run around freely. Perish!

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Hahahahah... excellent! Absolutely magnificent! Great job, Dorothy, great job!

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There we go, Roy's where we want him to be. He'll be able to negotiate with Hugh as soon as we have the cash.

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Over at the main entrance, the Mage that put Wade in mortal danger has this little goodie. Chad's out of range, though.

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Let's kill everyone else. That's the main pest taken care of.

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Nice! Brilliantly done, Lot.

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And so, nobody's going to die, but the Mage'll be forced to move inside the range of Chad.

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Nice.

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Oh, for crying out loud! See, this is why I like Astolfo better than the other two. He can take a bolting hit if he has to.

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Perfect! Absolutely optimal! The silence bastard can no longer screw everything up!

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Open the way, asshole! It's time for...

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Marcus to show this guy the error in his way!

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That done, Roy may talk to he who is the only one who can be of any use to him.

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Jeez, Marcus, we can't do that. I need Sue if I want to go to Sacae.

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The funny thing is that this is exactly the best way to play FE. Just grab the best units, give them a bunch of statboosters and watch them steamroll everything.

Ironically, though, in any normal run, you would be discharged as well, because Jeigan. Not here, though. I knew you wouldn't fail me, and you certainly didn't!

...and every other rider died, so I had no chance but to keep you on the team... nonetheless, I don't regret it!

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Roy is a weak, idealistic child, however, so he'll have none of that.

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That's right, Roy's too busy being the only one relevant to the plot.

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I'm really liking this support. The thing about an army of elites earlier, and now the implication that even the benchies are helping are very cool and subtle uses of meta in a support convo.

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He's got a point, Marcus, you have to admit it.

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Excellent! He sees reason!

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How sweet. I'm honestly kind of surprised, I wasn't expecting such a great support out of Marcus of all people. I mean, I knew there was more to him than just "OLD GUY WHO NAGS", and that I definitely wasn't doing the character justice in my crappy LP fanfic, but this is even better than I expected.

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Continuing with the meta jokes, Jeigan prepares for the inevitability of his benchment. In his C support, he was like "I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTHING", which is true for the first few chapters of the game, so I suppose that one ideally takes place somewhere between chapters 2-4, and this one should've been obtained around chapter 5-6. And in his A support, he'll probably go on how Roy no longer needs him, right when he's supposed to be benched for Jerrot/a trained Cavalier in chapter 7-8.

Except this is chapter 16. This run's being so weird, I love it. I dread the day I make an LP that turns out to be normal, if it ever does come.

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After the talking, Astolfo runs away from the bolting asshole so as not to die, and that's it for Roy's Bois.

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The group led by the Western Reapers is successful in their mission to get money.

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And now-- urk...

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And now, you have outlived your usefulness! Die!

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There's another Mage coming our way. He hasn't anything we want, so let's just let Lot have at him.

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Dougy is still coming~

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Holy crap, Lot has a luna bow!?

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To the moon your bowels go, little fool!

Lot's first arrow also goes to the moon, because he missed. Damnit...

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Fuck yeah, that was so clever, the universe decided to reward me by finally allowing someone to dodge the bolting.

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This is Hugh. Let's wait a turn before silencing him. The more time we can buy, the better.

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Tate grabs Dorothy to help her get back to the action sooner.

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One more bolting, and we'll be free. For now...

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The Mage finally goes down. We celebrate with some healing.

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That's it. Chad and Minerva will stay back for now. I don't want either of them to get purged.

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Blah blah Dougy~

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Nice! Good job, Roy.

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Let's do this before Hugh does something we'll all regret.

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Oh, you piece of shit! Cachinnating cockatoo! Cro-Magnon! Dunderheaded ethelreds! Ectoplasm! Fourlegged Cyrano! Flaming Jack-in-the-Box! Gyroscope! ASSHOLE!!

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Well, we failed.

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And of course, the godforsaken purge asshole can reach us also! I swear, Hugh, if you kill someone, I'm going to... rrghh!

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Pray for the best, Western Reapers. Not much else you can do at this point.

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Dougy~.png

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He couldn't get killed?

I'd say "GOD BLESS YOU, MARCUS, FOR YOUR SUPPORT HAS SAVED ROY", but that would be redundant. Marcus is God, after all!

...actually, now that I've done the math, he would've survived even without the support. But who cares. Without the support he would've probably gotten hit, and that's also really bad.

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Okay, finally, we can proceed to the next part of the plan.

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Dorothy will frontline for a while. It should prove to be a valuable life experience for her.

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I haven't anything to do with these guys aside from moving forward. Maybe one of the eastern enemies will go for Lot...?

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Douglas.

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Sheesh, she got hit. But I doubt the purge--

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

F-f-f-fuuuuck! He's alive, he's alive... aaanghh...

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Wait, what? What is Hugh doing?

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Uh... hello? Game?

No, seriously, nothing else happened. Hugh just moved next to Roy, the cursor flashed over Boi for a second, and then the turn ended.

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Bah, let's just worry about that when it becomes a problem, if ever. For now, oh, no, 3 more uses!?

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Guess we'll just have to endure for now.

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Or not! Hahahah! Go to hell, you foul holy man!

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Douglas is far too close. But we should have enough time to do what we have to do before he starts doing his thing... I think.

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Wade has a very specific reason to be standing there.

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Nice! The idiot took the bait! No more healing shall come out of you!

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Just in case the very thought of using a Knight crossed your mind, here's an asshole to kill him for you!

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Noooo Douglas! Halt! Retreat! Go back, I think the king's wants to see you!

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Hmmm... well, just barely, but I think we can do it.

Stupid Hugh! If he hadn't dodged the silence shot, we would've been able to do it before Douglas got here.

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Nice. So far, so good.

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And that's it! Nicely done, Saul. Next turn, you'll be sending Astolfo to the treasure room, and then we'll be able to focus on Douglas. But first, a level.

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Nice! Finally, some magic. He's still quite mag-screwed, but... not as much now.

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This guy has to go.

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Roy getting a kill! I know what you're thinking: "Hahah, see, Ruben? Had you not arena-abused him up to level 20, this kill wouldn't have been completely wasted!". Well, no. Had I not gotten him to level 20, he probably would've died back when he got attacked by Hugh and the purge asshole, and even if he hadn't, he would've been too weak to kill this guy now. So yeah, still not regretting what I did.

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Okay, he should survive. Even with the rapier, Roy shouldn't be able to do that much, Saul's magic is too low, and Tate literally can't damage him.

Let's check up on the western group now.

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They're doing fine.

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More supports! In this one, Roy develops more as a character than either of the people actually on-screen. Joy.

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Nope, not doing the unfunny "deaf character" joke. Cecilia is far above the likes of that.

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That's because your magic growth is 75%, while his is 0%.

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Yeah, what I said.

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For shame, schools of magic! You should treat everyone equally! Check your damned privileges!

Ironically, it's the girl that's in the advantageous position in this situation.

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Oof... yeah, that would sting.

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Duh.

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Cecilia taught Roy everything he knows about using his sword. Everything.

Fuck me, I went there! But it was just too easy.

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Lilina clearly understands the implications of what Cecilia just said.

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Nonsense. If I want to use Knight!Wrys in FE11, I will and he'll be my best man, end of story!

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Now seriously, this is a lesson the good bureaucrats in charge of educating the masses should learn.

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And that's it! At least this one had more substance to it than the C conversation.

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Brace for impact, everybody: here comes Dougy...

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Ah! I underestimated Roy! Now I regret getting him to level 20! DON'T CRIT! DON'T CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

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Phew... thank you, Roy.

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Soldiers, evasive maneuvers! Priority one!

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But first, this.

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Very well. Time to fetch Hugh.

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I still don't understand what he did a few enemy phases ago when he ran up to Roy and did nothing. It definitely looked like he was trying to talk to him, but this is still his usual dialogue when you first talk to him. But this usual dialogue starts with him greeting Roy, not the other way around, as if Hugh's the one supposed to start the conversation. I guess he couldn't do it because he was silenced, and then the game... just... uh... sort of glitched up slightly?

Okay, you know what? Let's forget it happened.

Also, "silence" staff, eh? I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to him, since when you're silenced, you cannot initiate a conversation, but I suppose if somebody else does it for you, it's all right. Even if in the conversation itself, you're the one to start talking.

Why am I still thinking about this? Let's move on, the update's long enough as it is.

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He says this as if he had a ton of Mages to choose from. Hugh's the only other surviving Mage aside from your canon waifu, you idiot!

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Heheheheheheh... good ol' Roy trolling.

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Actually, you kinda are. It's the fact that you aren't a fragile little kid that makes you worth the trouble. Somewhat.

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...and the money.

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Look, it's Castor, except this guy actually does get some money at the end of the day!

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Now that's believable. What's next? I know, I know, it's shocking, now shut your trap and hand over the dough?

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You're lucky you have 9 defense.

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This is one of my favourite exchanges in the game, and that line's the reason. Headaches on her back. Hahahahah, oh, Hugh, Canas you are not. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

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While we're on the subject of Canas, who the hell thought it was a good idea to name somebody "white hairs" in spanish?

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Man, you're soooo lucky you have 9 defense.

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Roy's like "sure, we'll see about that".

Well, will we?

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Hugh's case is rather unfortunate. Unlike Minerva, he doesn't get Hard mode bonuses, because why would he, but even then his bases aren't too shabby. What kills him in the eyes of most, however, is that he isn't even promoted, which means he costs at the very least another 5000 for a ring (that's a boots you can't buy in chapter 21!) and his staff rank will stink forever.

Emphasis on "the eyes of most", though, because as we know, I'm not "most". I'm worse than most.

Shit, I just ice burned myself, and quite damn well at that. Urgh...

A-anyhow, Hugh's stats, as I said, aren't that bad, and he has uncharacteristically high defense for a mage. Add to that his pretty good speed, and we have a badass Mage on our hands. And since I don't give a fuck about boots or efficiency, I can afford the investment!

As a character, he's actually pretty cool. His only surviving support partner is his mother, who's also his best partner and my last hope for a Druid, which means, as much as it pains me (because she's a top tier loser), I'll probably use her. Eh, fair enough, it's not like anybody else ever uses her for combat anyway.

Welcome aboard, Hugh. I sincerely hope you don't get killed. After Raigh, you're probably the second unit I use the most. It's your time to shine.

Ergh... in two turns, it'll be your time to shine. Right now, you're mute.

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Rant over, it's time to focus on the Great General himself. For now, I'm going to form a wall with Marcus and the Snipers. The Snipers obviously won't be able to do anything against the man, and Marcus' low strength won't be able to do much either.

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The Western Reapers and co. move forward to face the main gate's guardsman. This castle is so weird... why is there no door at the main entrance, but instead there's one at the end of this U-shaped corridor?

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Bwahah! Pathetic!

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Douglas! No! Stop it!

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Astolfo won't be leaving that room for a while, so he might as well open the rest of the chests while he's there. Bolting, huh? That's pretty good, actually.

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Hmmmm... I'd like to lure Douglas to go south, but at the same time, if the rest of the group could keep on advancing, it would be swell.

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Plan time. Firstly: kill this guy. Igrene's crit helped.

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Secondly: laugh at this guy. Hahah! Fool! All my Cavaliers are dead already!

Marcus? Nah, Marcus is not a Cavalier, he's a God. Big difference.

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And now... urk... he can reach Tate? Damnit, Igrene, why didn't you crit twice?

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Go after Marcus, please. I beg of you, go after Marcus.

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The reason I don't really want to send everybody back is that I know for a fact that another bolting Mage will be spawning here. I'd rather not have to put Sue in range of the thunderbolts again.

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On the other side, Lilina reaches her maximum level!

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Well. See, this is why I wanted Hugh. Sure, she's got hilariously good magic, but in almost every other stat, Hugh is better. That's not to say Lilina's bad, she'll be a magnificent healer and damage-dealer. I'd say they compliment each other well, actually.

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Anyway, let's push the end button. Lot will use his bow to kill people through the door while Chad gets there.

Is it too much to ask that the reinforcements don't spawn just yet?

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Evidently so: you can't see it here because I'm a good screenshooter, but they've started appearing.

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Oh, c'mon... this is what happens when you're an asshole and laugh at people. They get serious.

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Noooo Douglas, where the hell are you going?!

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Oh, for crying out loud...

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Hah! Outclas--

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Unnnhh...

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Well, for what it's worth, Hugh can now throw fireballs.

Plan A failed, so it's time for plan B. Plan B is simple, yet complex in a very particular way. It goes as follows:

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Run!

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Oh, I can't believe it... are we seriously going to fail to run as well?!

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Saul heals Tate so she doesn't die to Douglas' inevitable attack, Marcus helps her switch to a weapon that won't get her doubled (honestly, allowing Douglas and his single digit speed to double someone to death is reason enough to quit life, I humbly believe), and Sue snitches Hugh's elixir in preparation for the bolting that she is inevitably about to take to the face.

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Run, everyone! Run from the man who shall remain by his king's side, by killing those who strive to save him!

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...oh. Astolfo.

Now I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally happy I used the warp staff instead of just opening the door.

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Same deal as last turn, except Wade'll join Lot in his quest to kill people through concrete walls.

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Ahhh! There he is! The bolting asshole #2! Everyone, suit yourselves!

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Well, at least he's weaker than his predecessor. 2 less damage might very well prove to be the difference between life and death.

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Nice! Nice! Well done, Tate!

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...predictably done, Sue.

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Gaaah! Stop it! Stop missing already!

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C'mon, Sue... you can do it... you can get out of their range!

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Oh, doggone it...

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Well, then. Have another go at the elixir.

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Excellent, Douglas can't reach anybody just yet!

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On the other side... I think I'm not going to open that door just yet. Too much heat for my liking.

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Dougy resumes his coming~

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Not much else happens, aside from the customary "Sue getting hit by bolting".

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The Paladin is down. Only a myriad of troops remain.

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Cecilia! You're breaking my heart! Get speed!

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I could use Minerva to relieve Lot of Lilina's weight, but that would leave her exposed.

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So instead, let's get Cecilia out of harm's way.

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Nice. That doesn't look sloppy at all.

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Cutting it a little too close for my liking here. Next turn, if possible, we'll run at full speed

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The reinforcements just keep on coming. Will they ever stop?

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Nice.

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Not nice. Blistering barnacles!

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Lilina and Cecilia safely dropped off where the enemy can't reach them, Wade is free to crit this guy to death.

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Well, this isn't going too badly, but I still need to find a way to get Douglas out of the picture for good. One that isn't mortal for any of the parties involved.

Tune in next time to find out what it is! Until then, feel free to try and predict if I'll be able to reach the end of the chapter without any casualties or major fuck-ups. Fare thee well, viewers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To be continued.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot
                       
Fir
                        Wendy
                        Og
ier
                        Treck
                        Barth
                       
Bartre
                       
Elen
                        Echidna
                        Cath
                        Sophia
                       
Raigh

*Discharged

*Retreated after being wounded

*Only dead in route B

*Only dead in route A

*???

Reset count: 5

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 8

 

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Did I really misspell view? Oh dear. I must step up my game!

As for the next paradoxical unit, how about an average lord? For me, Fire Emblem Lords always end up as either really good, or really bad. 

Edited by KnightOfNohr
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7 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Good man Albertus!

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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He must be the heaviest and lightest sleeper for that to work.

8 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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You already know.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And when he dies, he'll say "urgh... gaaaaaaaaaah!"

Valter's death quote is best death quote.

I think it'll be more like this.

9 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, if literally everyone else dies, I guess I'll deploy Perceval. After Merlinus.

If it means we get more Merlinus dies counted.....

10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Heheheh... poor Dougy. He just wants to protect his king!

He clearly doesn't realise what he's at.

11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

But by far, Lot is my strongest unit, so a fight between the two is more fitting.

For this LP, yes.

11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...but the whole thing about Camuses is that they're not recruitable. Sure, there are other things, such as their unbending loyalty to their lieges and being aryan, but that isn't exclusive to them. We've got to be strict with the requirements when putting characters into stereotypes, otherwise they cease to be, well, stereotypes..

It's the prime factor.

However, the series has sort of bent every archetype it has. Gale fits the Camus more, but Perceval still fits much of the ideas as well, though he of course breaks a big one in being recruitable.

Then again, so does a certain one.

12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Then I'm jinxing it! I curse you! Serra will die! I shall now say random spanish words, because as the stereotypical 'murican knows, spanish is weird and perfectly fitting for magical shenanigans! LADRILLO TELEFONO PILAR, SALA DE JUNTAS, ESDRUJULA! ESDRUJULAAAAA!!

What does the last word mean? I was able to guess/look up the others but I have no idea on the last one.

12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hmm, pink hair... who do we know that has pink hair...

...oh, no... no no no no no... Serra...!?

Nah, she'd have been too young for that.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, it happened.

To be fair, small as she is, she wouldn't be as restricted by the desert as quite a few units in the army trudging through it. I could see it.

13 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Frost makes everyone look like a chump. He's like, double the size of Perceval. And don't even get me started on his hilarious square-shaped frown. I don't believe I did it justice.

Frost clearly pulled an Iroh since we last saw him.

True, he didn't have to set his nephew straight, but otherwise that's the closest I can think of to this.

17 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Why is Saul's face there instead of Yodel's? Yodel was introduced before Saul was, for crying out loud! Sure, it was only five minutes and then he disappeared, but my point stands!

Elimine is the Catholic Church after all!

18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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The chapter opens with Narcian throwing a temper tantrum. Rightfully so, too. Ever since this game was released, players all 'round the world have spent their playthroughs craving for the moment they could finally spill his blood. Our turn has come to get our fair share of that blood.

Why did they get so far?

Because Narcian fucked up. Repeatedly.

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Murdock: the guy I know cannot be recruited, and I know has to be killed, but I do so begrudgingly, because he's such a badass.

Also apparently an expert arsonist of person's souls.

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Hoo, boy. You know, while we may still be able to destroy Narcian physically... emotionally, I think we've just been beaten to the punch.

Jeez, Murdock, a little longer and you would've been banned from the server for teamkilling. Holy fuck, that was great.

No he wouldn't have, Narcian's the one guy everyone would have been okay with doing that to.

23 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Yeah, lash out against the innocent soldiers unfortunately under your command. That's about the only thing you can do at this point, aside from grabbing that runesword of yours and shoving it into your throat. But that would ruin your hairdo, we can't have that, now, can we, little Narcian?

Of course he wouldn't.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Genius! One of the three fuck-ups Murdock demoted you for has been safely pushed into a different (innocent) person! Great job, Narcian!

Except that doesn't explain why you carelessly left Flaer behind to die, or why you couldn't be arsed to go help Oates seize Arcadia. What the hell, Zeiss himself was helping out at Arcadia when you were supposed to! Flawless plan, my ass!

...actually, now that I think about it, you could say Zeiss led us to Arcadia. He was in Arcadia but left right before we arrived... it does seem mighty suspicious. Especially since Randy isn't alive to tell anyone how he was the one to send Zeiss back to Aquleia.

Eh. It might be a better plan than what I initially gave you credit for.

That said, "bad" is not much better than "horrible". This still doesn't explain all of your fuck-ups prior to Arcadia.

Still, Narcian has plenty of fuck ups under his belt.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Spoiler alert: he won't do that. Seriously!

Well, it's not like he believed Narcian.

26 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Am I going to agree with Humphrey?

Oof, tough choice.

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Okay, if this were a hack Narcian would just start murdering everyone and be on a different faction.

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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And last but not least, the Dougman himself! He who shall, under no circumstances, leave his king's side! Even if his prince requests that he joins the good guys! Even if his daughter implores him not to waste his life! Even if his colleagues attempt to reason with him! Nothing shall move him! NOTHING!

Both figuratively and literally. His constitution is far too high.

That con. Such an irritance.

29 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Haaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no.

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30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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You know, this whole "I WILL NOT ABANDON THE KING" deal works a little better if you imagine Douglas doesn't just consider Mordred to be his king, but also his best, oldest friend, perhaps even a brother. Maybe Mordred and Douglas met when Mordred was still the prince and Douglas still wasn't the oldest veteran in the army, and they developed a similar, brotherly relationship as the one between Klein and Delphin.

His absurd loyalty makes more sense because, hey, people tend to do stupid shit for the people they care about, right? Add to that the fact that it's his duty to protect him at all costs, and we have a tragic situation that actually makes sense. Douglas knows the best thing to do would be to defect, but he refuses to put his best friend's life at risk. It's something I can understand and respect.

Sure, nothing in the game hints at the possibility of this being true, and Mordred looks 30 years older than Douglas, but eh, it's a decent explanation, this one I just pulled out of my ass. Certainly better than FE6's "fuck you, he's too loyal, now don't kill him or you won't be able to complete the game".

You know, maybe.

Still doesn't make what happens okay.

32 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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I can imagine Yodel just going around the city in his Yodelmobile and both sides would drop their weapons to listen to him.

The Elimine Popemobile is likely a wyvern of something. Just to be really on the nose.

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And considering how that turned out...

The biggest problem with Douglas is that he doesn't even have a ranged weapon. That would make it much easier, since he wouldn't get himself killed as easily. Seriously, why not give him a tomahawk? As it is, that weapon is completely unobtainable, so why not give it to Doug?

This is BB.

You can't have nice things in BB.

36 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Gale'll say this even if Milady isn't actually here, by the way.

Well, he wouldn't know if she died.

38 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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I don't have enough cash to recruit Hugh. Sure, I could steal the member card from him and kill him, or recruit him for 5000, but I want to use Hugh. As a result of this, you might be wondering, how the hell am I going to deal with TWO unrecruitable units taking shots at my units?

AW SHIT IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

38 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, you see, this chest the cursor is hovering over contains 5000 spending cash. I was hoping that this chest would be in the other treasure room, but alas, it wasn't. All things considered, it might be better this way, those Snipers are scary.

So, here's my plan. I'm going to silence Hugh to buy us enough time to kill the dragon and warp Astolfo inside to open the chest. Sure, I could waste two turns to open the door and save a warp use, but honestly, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Besides, hoarding is never good. If I had to choose, I'd rather run out of warps and not be able to use it one time I'd like to than let it sit inside the convoy forever and only use it once.

Okay, that makes sense.

39 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Hahahahah... excellent! Absolutely magnificent! Great job, Dorothy, great job!

Yay, Dorothy gets more stats for wrecking Saul.

41 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The funny thing is that this is exactly the best way to play FE. Just grab the best units, give them a bunch of statboosters and watch them steamroll everything.

Ironically, though, in any normal run, you would be discharged as well, because Jeigan. Not here, though. I knew you wouldn't fail me, and you certainly didn't!

...and every other rider died, so I had no chance but to keep you on the team... nonetheless, I don't regret it!

....No they didn't.

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Wait, what? What is Hugh doing?

Trying to attack obviously.

The problem being he's a bit tongue tied right now.

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Roy getting a kill! I know what you're thinking: "Hahah, see, Ruben? Had you not arena-abused him up to level 20, this kill wouldn't have been completely wasted!". Well, no. Had I not gotten him to level 20, he probably would've died back when he got attacked by Hugh and the purge asshole, and even if he hadn't, he would've been too weak to kill this guy now. So yeah, still not regretting what I did.

Well, that exp goes away.

Could be worse, but still, what a waste.

47 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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For shame, schools of magic! You should treat everyone equally! Check your damned privileges!

Ironically, it's the girl that's in the advantageous position in this situation.

Magic is prejudiced?

48 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Lilina clearly understands the implications of what Cecilia just said.

With this playing in her mind.

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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You know what, I'm with Roy, that would be frightening.

53 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I still don't understand what he did a few enemy phases ago when he ran up to Roy and did nothing. It definitely looked like he was trying to talk to him, but this is still his usual dialogue when you first talk to him. But this usual dialogue starts with him greeting Roy, not the other way around, as if Hugh's the one supposed to start the conversation. I guess he couldn't do it because he was silenced, and then the game... just... uh... sort of glitched up slightly?

Okay, you know what? Let's forget it happened.

Also, "silence" staff, eh? I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to him, since when you're silenced, you cannot initiate a conversation, but I suppose if somebody else does it for you, it's all right. Even if in the conversation itself, you're the one to start talking.

Why am I still thinking about this? Let's move on, the update's long enough as it is.

It's a good thing this isn't Thracia. If you silence people, you can't talk to them.

It mostly matters because it limits what you can do to a certain unit in the late game.

55 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Heheheheheheh... good ol' Roy trolling.

Well, it does make that line better.

56 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Hugh's case is rather unfortunate. Unlike Minerva, he doesn't get Hard mode bonuses, because why would he, but even then his bases aren't too shabby. What kills him in the eyes of most, however, is that he isn't even promoted, which means he costs at the very least another 5000 for a ring (that's a boots you can't buy in chapter 21!) and his staff rank will stink forever.

Emphasis on "the eyes of most", though, because as we know, I'm not "most". I'm worse than most.

Shit, I just ice burned myself, and quite damn well at that. Urgh...

A-anyhow, Hugh's stats, as I said, aren't that bad, and he has uncharacteristically high defense for a mage. Add to that his pretty good speed, and we have a badass Mage on our hands. And since I don't give a fuck about boots or efficiency, I can afford the investment!

As a character, he's actually pretty cool. His only surviving support partner is his mother, who's also his best partner and my last hope for a Druid, which means, as much as it pains me (because she's a top tier loser), I'll probably use her. Eh, fair enough, it's not like anybody else ever uses her for combat anyway.

Welcome aboard, Hugh. I sincerely hope you don't get killed. After Raigh, you're probably the second unit I use the most. It's your time to shine.

Ergh... in two turns, it'll be your time to shine. Right now, you're mute.

Those bases could be worse. Though it's a shame that he can't get hard mode bonuses, imagine what he'd be like.

59 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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...oh. Astolfo.

Now I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally happy I used the warp staff instead of just opening the door.

Okay, that plan was actually good. I'll shut up now.

You can have Chad steal just fine anyway.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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I KNEW IT!

So my prediction: Someone will die, though I predict it's not a frontliner.

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I know your Lilina is under the average, but I still think you should promote her on this map. Sure some of her stats are low, but unlike Hugh she is going to be excellent in some stats.

Interesting way to take care of Douglas, I usually wait until he comes outside, put him to sleep, and block his way in with Lalum - just to save a few turns and headaches. This chapter is too long and too much thing to do here to also worry about him too.

Oh, I bet this chapter will take 2 more posts from Ruben for sure.

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Nice to see you decide to use Hugh, he is one of my favorite units in this game. Just one thing though, Niime is not his mother, she is his grandmother, the very same one with a "headache on her back" and if you look at her sprite, it is actually pretty believable that she could have such symptoms.....

One of the reason I like your LPs is, like me, you use under used units. Sure I have never used units like Matthis, Tomas or Wade before, but seeing you use them made me happy. There are many great LPs out there but what makes your LP enjoyable is you manage to use the supposed worst units with success, thanks for using them and I hope you will continue making such LPs.

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19 hours ago, Dayni said:

So my prediction: Someone will die, though I predict it's not a frontliner.

I agree between the long range tomes and Douglas it just seems like a recipe for death. (I reckon that only one person will die)

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Part 31 - I need a Hug(h).

On 26/3/2018 at 7:47 PM, KnightOfNohr said:

Did I really misspell view? Oh dear. I must step up my game!

Do it! Don't let me win!

As for the next paradoxical unit, how about an average lord? For me, Fire Emblem Lord's always end up as either really good, or really bad. 

That would be so... boring. I love it!

 

On 26/3/2018 at 8:50 PM, Dayni said:

Good man Albertus!

He's a good person, if a little boisterous. You could say he's like Luke, except he's got a beard and that makes him better.

He must be the heaviest and lightest sleeper for that to work.

Well, it worked.

You already know.

She doesn't, but... it's not exactly a great mystery.

I think it'll be more like this.

Pffft.

If it means we get more Merlinus dies counted.....

Some men just want to watch Merlinus burn.

He clearly doesn't realise what he's at.

It's Doug. 'Nuff said.

For this LP, yes.

He's the second coming of Matthis. Except I daresay he's even more ridiculously great.

It's the prime factor.

However, the series has sort of bent every archetype it has. Gale fits the Camus more, but Perceval still fits much of the ideas as well, though he of course breaks a big one in being recruitable.

Eh, everyone's got their own opinion. I personally wouldn't consider someone to be of a particular archetype if they break the main trait that characterises it. For instance, Mycen is the old mentor of the protagonist, both his personality and his looks are very Jeigan-ish, but I wouldn't call him a Jeigan because he does not join at the beginning, which is the main thing that makes Jeigans Jeigans.

Then again, so does a certain one.

What, Murdock? Eh, I suppose he might, but he doesn't really get enough development to fit the mold. Not that that's a bad thing in itself. I love how absolutely badass he is, even if he's an unquestionable antagonist.

What does the last word mean? I was able to guess/look up the others but I have no idea on the last one.

That's because it's a very specific grammar technicism. It describes words that are stressed on the third-to-last syllable. Mostly used in spanish classes at school, it's hard to see it elsewhere.

Nah, she'd have been too young for that.

Maybe Lundgren likes 'em like that.

To be fair, small as she is, she wouldn't be as restricted by the desert as quite a few units in the army trudging through it. I could see it.

I suppose.

Frost clearly pulled an Iroh since we last saw him.

You kiddin'? He was already titanic in FE12! And I don't mean just his square-shaped frown, the guy was huge. Maybe it was just his clothing, but he was even wider than people like Barst Ogma, and Barst and Ogma are supposed to be buff.

True, he didn't have to set his nephew straight, but otherwise that's the closest I can think of to this.

He had to set Matthis straight, most likely.

Elimine is the Catholic Church after all!

Jeez...

Why did they get so far?

Because Narcian fucked up. Repeatedly.

It's sad, but that's really the only reason.

Also apparently an expert arsonist of person's souls.

Who looks clinically depressed. I never really understood why, but those eyes hint at either that or severe insomnia.

No he wouldn't have, Narcian's the one guy everyone would have been okay with doing that to.

Heheheheh... indeed.

Of course he wouldn't.

I cringed to the point where my neck snapped. Now I have to use a wheelchair for life.

Not much has changed in my life, really.

Still, Narcian has plenty of fuck ups under his belt.

Like leaving an unpromoted guy named Slater alone to defend Araphen with Bern's Trainee Squad.

Well, it's not like he believed Narcian.

Who did? Himself? He loves himself enough for it.

Am I going to agree with Humphrey?

Oof, tough choice.

Hey, you can be the worst person in existance and still make a valid point on occasion.

Okay, if this were a hack Narcian would just start murdering everyone and be on a different faction.

That would've been fun, but far too horrible to deal with. He could obliterate Douglas before the player could do anything.

That con. Such an irritance.

I think Sue's brother can lift him! That's someone, right?

Oh, of course, he's benched.

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This piece of crap has been stalking me as I wrote the replies to your reply. So... creepy!

You know, maybe.

Still doesn't make what happens okay.

Nothing can. But at least it's not Xavier.

The Elimine Popemobile is likely a wyvern of something. Just to be really on the nose.

Hahahah. Good ol' Yodel.

This is BB.

You can't have nice things in BB.

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I beg to differ.

Well, he wouldn't know if she died.

No, but even if you forgot to bring her along and left her sitting on the bench, he still says she's "here". I'd assume "here" would mean "the castle".

AW SHIT IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

Okay, that makes sense.

It was a great plan, you've got to admit it.

Yay, Dorothy gets more stats for wrecking Saul.

Ah, if only...

....No they didn't.

Perceval is not alive.

Prove me wrong.

Trying to attack obviously.

The problem being he's a bit tongue tied right now.

But that's not how... anything works! He was silenced! Silenced people can't even press the attack command! Why did the cursor appear over Roy for a second, then?

Well, that exp goes away.

Could be worse, but still, what a waste.

Yeah, what a waste of an unpromoted scrub. Truly, it could've made a huge difference in my team of extremely high-level unpromoted and promoted units.

Magic is prejudiced?

Magic is female, like the force, so of course it favours Lilina. For shame!

With this playing in her mind.

That was fun.

You know what, I'm with Roy, that would be frightening.

I spent the whole update building up to that joke. I'm glad I at least got one reaction out of it.

It's a good thing this isn't Thracia. If you silence people, you can't talk to them.

It mostly matters because it limits what you can do to a certain unit in the late game.

Thracia is the devil when it comes to game mechanics, after all.

Well, it does make that line better.

It does!

Those bases could be worse. Though it's a shame that he can't get hard mode bonuses, imagine what he'd be like.

Better, but wouldn't really fix his main problems.

Okay, that plan was actually good. I'll shut up now.

Thanks a lot for admitting it, man.

You can have Chad steal just fine anyway.

That's what he's going to be doing today, assuming he doesn't die.

I KNEW IT!

Good for you!

So my prediction: Someone will die, though I predict it's not a frontliner.

So little faith... ah, but I suppose I haven't done much to prove myself trustworthy. At least you didn't jinx my elite, thank fuck for that.

 

On 27/3/2018 at 11:01 AM, Garlyle said:

I know your Lilina is under the average,

That's news to me. I hadn't checked her averages.

but I still think you should promote her on this map. Sure some of her stats are low, but unlike Hugh she is going to be excellent in some stats.

Well, we'll see what we can do about that.

Interesting way to take care of Douglas, I usually wait until he comes outside, put him to sleep, and block his way in with Lalum - just to save a few turns and headaches. This chapter is too long and too much thing to do here to also worry about him too.

"Interesting"? My way of taking care of Hugh is interesting, but Douglas? I simply failed to lure him outside with one unit, so instead, I had to run with EVERYBODY!

Oh, I bet this chapter will take 2 more posts from Ruben for sure.

Spoiler alert, no, this is the last we'll be seeing of chapter 16, but the update will be long, like the last one. Probably less so, though.

If I learnt something from chapter 10B, it's that spending too long on one chapter can get really tiring.

 

On 27/3/2018 at 4:11 PM, ranger016 said:

Nice to see you decide to use Hugh, he is one of my favorite units in this game. Just one thing though, Niime is not his mother, she is his grandmother,

Ah, yeah, the mother thing was a typo.

the very same one with a "headache on her back" and if you look at her sprite, it is actually pretty believable that she could have such symptoms.....

Her artwork conveys that even better. She's so crooked, she'd fall down if she didn't have a cane.

One of the reason I like your LPs is, like me, you use under used units. Sure I have never used units like Matthis, Tomas or Wade before, but seeing you use them made me happy. There are many great LPs out there but what makes your LP enjoyable is you manage to use the supposed worst units with success, thanks for using them and I hope you will continue making such LPs.

Thanks for the kind words. I'll try not to get everyone killed, forcing me to use the top tier losers I've been neglecting thus far.

 

On 27/3/2018 at 4:13 PM, deskita said:

I agree between the long range tomes and Douglas it just seems like a recipe for death. (I reckon that only one person will die)

Stop it already! You're going to jinx it all, as usual!

 

Spoiler

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Last time, we were running away from Douglas. The western team was doing pretty much nothing.

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Jesus Christ on a bike, so many scruby enemies! "Elite troops" my ass, Narcian does not grasp the concept of "quality over quantity"!

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You know, it would make me really happy if my troops decided to stop acting as if they were lightning rods. I would feel really stupid if I lost anyone to these. Like I already almost lost Astolfo, but let's pretend that didn't happen.

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Yey, what a useful turn. We accomplished nothing.

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So tempting... is what anybody else would be thinking right there. Me? I like this guy, so let's keep on running for his life.

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So, I think this is as good a time as any to assess the situation and explain plan C.

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Douglas has 86 hit. So we just need someone from the southern team who can get to 86 avoid, with the help of a forest tile if necessary. We have exactly one unit who fits these requirements.

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Saul. He needs Dorothy, though. Can Dorothy pull it off?

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Well, almost. But with a 2% chance to hit and having a healer right next to her for the improbable case that she does get hit, it shouldn't be a problem at all.

The plan is as follows: Roy and his Bois will run inside the castle, out of Douglas' range, while Saul and Dorothy will pull him towards the lower leftmost corner of the map. Once there, they'll just sit on forest tiles for the remainder of the map. Losing two of my heaviest hitters for the rest of the chapter, as well as one of my healers is a somewhat harsh trade-off, but it'll have to do, for now at least.

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Besides, Cecilia can take over Saul's healing duties.

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Sorry if this seems a little too boring, but we're not moving until the stairs stop pouring out reinforcements.

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In the meantime, more pilfering. Brave lance! Marcus could use it, but his speed is good. Perhaps I'll give it to Douglas so he can do something with his 8 speed.

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This is the enemy phase.

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Of course...

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Anyway, before I forget, let's disarm Saul so he doesn't ruin Douglas.

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Commence Operation DDD (Distract De Dougy)!

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Mage down, that should buy Astolfo some more time to pilfer the treasury. Not this turn, though, I forgot to have him do it. Joy.

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Nice! No more reinforcements! That's helpful.

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Jikes! Wade, that's too much damage! The one Mage you manage to 1HKO, and he knocks off half of your health bar before you do!

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Okay, we're good.

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Hey, that's quite close to leveling up!

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Both sides heal the wounds that resulted from the last skirmish of the turn.

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Aaaaand that's it.

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Hmmm... we'll have to act fast. I don't want these more accurate Mercenaries to follow Douglas in his quest to fail to hit Saul.

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As well, I'd like to use them to get Hugh a few level ups. It shouldn't be too hard, they can't outrun Douglas or anything.

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Before Astolfo moves forward, let's check out the range of death. Very well, it should be safe to proceed.

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Eh. Rather underwhelming treasure, after the brave lance.

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Douglas is still too close, I feel. We shall wait one more turn before tricking the Mercenary into going north.

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Yet another bolting shot that was successful in hitting my units. Do you guys even know what "dodge" means?

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Evidently not, but Lot doesn't really need to.

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Gwah!? What's that? It's like... like... uh...

Lot's holding a barbwire fence? One of those old ones that have only two cords of barbwire attached to two sticks? That's the best I can think of...

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Ah, so you have finally decided to attack us personally! Big mistake, pal!

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Holy moly, he doubles Wade. Kill it with fire!

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Ergh, next turn.

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Yeah, we can't do this yet.

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Final treasure! It's a recover staff. Not too bad, I guess, but it's not the most useful thing in the world.

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Hurray, no more bolting! Now you guys can fail to comprehend the meaning of the word "dodge" in peace. Until next chapter.

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Oh, awesome. That simplifies the problem.

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At least one person does know how to duck out of the way of weapons coming her way. Attagirl, Dorothy.

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Look, it's the skipping rope!

...it's not as much fun without Echidna...

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Hoo, boy, Lot with killer bows. Can you imagine it?

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Wade, too, gets a level up. Stronger bows for the strongest!

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And now he's even strongester! I won't say no to that magnificent defense, either.

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There's noone with an axe to behead Lilina, so she may take on a fellow Mage.

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Whoa. Hugh's bases are no good for direct combat. Not before he's promoted, that is.

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Guess what, Marcus will be doing some Jeiganing. In chapter 16. I love this guy.

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Douglas, meanwhile, keeps creeping closer to his destiny of not dying like an idiot.

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Units who can reach Astolfo if he stays behind the one-tile wide wall draw closer to Astolfo's position. Go back to safety and just chill for now, my man. Your bad leg must be killing you after all that intense action.

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Hmm... the area is looking quite clear now. I think the Western Reapers shall begin to advance soon.

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But first, Jeiganing! Thanks for not critting.

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Lilina, too, fares well against this mage. Look at that, basic vs strongest common tome, and Lilina still manages to do 3 more points of damage. Of course, she has far less HP, so it's more of a stalemate than anything else, but you get my point.

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And now, for the final step of Operation DDD!

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That's it. Douglas has officially been neutralized.

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Sue is close to leveling up. Do not disappoint me, daughter of Lyn.

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Nice! Quite good, all things considered.

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...Sueeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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That's better.

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Nice. He should be able to get a level or two out of these chumps.

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Having just realised she's more needed in the southern team, Cecilia leaves Lilina under the care of the Western Reapers and heads back.

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Next turn, I promise, we'll actually storm the castle.

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So much juicy experience!

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He goes after Dorothy, eh? I suppose that makes sense, he actually has the slightest chance of hitting her.

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These guys are honestly really easy to deal with. Their steel swords even weigh them down.

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Here comes Ceci~

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Lousy 5 move... this is why Knights don't work.

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See this? Don't forget it, because I won't bother showing it again. This is Dorothy, Saul and Dougy for the rest of the chapter.

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Finally, the time has come for us to bring the battle inside!

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It wasn't that epic, honestly.

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Everything goes as planned, except for Douglas, who, bafflingly, changes targets and tries his luck against... Saul? What? Why is he doing that? His defense isn't much lower than Dorothy's, and his chance to hit the foul Bishop is a flat zero! I mean, I'm not complaining, just... why, Doug, why? How does this tactical nonsense benefit your strategy, Douglas?

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Here's something I wasn't truly expecting: since I opened the door, these guys have deemed it more prudent to double back and pursue the Western Reapers. Eh, Hugh could've used the experience, but that's fine.

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D'oh!

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Okay, then. Stop the presses! The short bow was used to successfully kill somebody!

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Cecilia has arrived. About time, too, Marcus is going to need healing soon.

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Now that was an epic battle, wasn't it?

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Astolfo still here? Everything fine? Good.

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Of course, as soon as Marcus unequips his killer lance, he gets a critical hit.

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At least this one wasn't lethal. Hugh can still take the kill.

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Like so. Level up time!

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Aw, doggone it. Don't do that, Hugh, get speed and magic.

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Heals for the best Jeigan.

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Here's something slightly tricky: this Dragon is holding another red gem which I'd like to obtain, but obviously, if I don't kill the dragon or bail Chad out inmediately, he'll get killed, which is something I'd like to avoid.

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Bah, we'll worry about it later.

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Jeiganing, healing, more Jeiganing from not-Jeigan...

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Aaaaand done.

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Three to go. Not bad. Should net Hugh one more level, unless he misses again.

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Lot is using the skipping rope quite a lot today. This one's weird. A double skipping rope? Unthinkable!

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With not much else to do, the Western Reapers prepare to take the Snipers guarding the second treasure room to the grim reaper for it to lead them to their destiny.

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In other words, Lot kills stuff.

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The Mercenaries are still trying to get to use their weapons. Slow... so slow...

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Ooh, a silver Sniper! So scurreh!

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Outclassed!

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And so-- goddamnit all to hell, why?! Why was that a worth a shot?!

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Nice, nice nice nice... Lot shall soon level up!

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The enemies draw close, but... just look at them. This Mercenary can't even double Lilina. Pathetic!

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Booooooooooooooring... walk the distance already! Who thought it was a good idea to have a castle so huge, it takes 3 Advance Wars days to walk from one entrance to the other?!

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I just now thought of giving Hugh Cecilia's thunder tome so he'd have a lower chance of missing. Sadly, he lacks the rank to use aircalibur, but that's fine. A promotion will fix that, like his other issues.

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Well, his other issues aside from costing boots, but who cares about that.

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My apologies. We'll be done with the clean-up and get to the more interesting stuff shortly. Don't worry, I won't cut the update early and leave you with this monotonous crap.

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Fssssss...

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Much better. Lot, it would be hard for you to disappoint me, but don't get cocky.

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Thank you for not getting cocky. Look at that defense! And, most importantly, his equally impressive resistance and acceptable luck! This guy is invincible! Nothing can stop him! Even Matthis had his bad resistance as a weakness. Lot? Lot doesn't have a weakness. Even if we lost Wade, he'd still be my best man! Still, let's try not to lose Wade. Next chapter, being as magic-focused as it is, will be harsher for him than usual, but he should be able to pull through, with the help of his old friend. They vowed to survive the war, after all!

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Hide, scrubs. Lot and Wade will take care of everything outside.

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One more! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, I wanna move on!

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Good--

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Holy shit, Marcus doubled the guy.

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Cutting it a little too close there, Wade. That res of yours really isn't doing you any favours.

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Eh, it's fine. You don't have to stand right next to Lot all the time. 3 tiles can prove to be a lot of tiles for a Mage when Lot is standing in the way.

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Before long, only one Mercenary remains. Chad, meanwhile, starts working on the treasury. Berserk! This'll be fun to use, but not so fun to suffer. But I hope that doesn't come to pass too soon...

Spoiler alert: we'll face our first berserk asshole next chapter. Urk...

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Please, Hugh, don't miss. I beg of you!

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Oh, they've got to be kidding me...

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Well, then. If that's how you're going to play, game, then I shall be an asshat as well. Lot and Wade, holding their bows, will keep this guy around until Hugh can get there to claim the experience.

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Hmm... although, Wade can take damage...

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Not Lot, though. He's only taking one point because he has WTD, and since he's going to equip his bow...

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I can't remember why I took this pic, but let's take a look at it anyways. Look at that. He's simultaneously a dodgebot and a tank. How awesome is that?

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Sounds like a plan. Uh, another Knight's Crest! We can trade that for a promo item somebody can actually use.

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While on their way back, Cecilia heals some people. Her heal staff is about to break. That's going to be a problem, but if needed be, I'll send her outside to take Saul's. It's not like he's going to need it.

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This is what I was talking about earlier. Talk about overkill, jeez. This guy's amazing.

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Saul's not as stupidly great, but he's still great, and most importantly, about to level up! Keep at it, Dougy.

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Ah, Hero's Crest. I'm sorry to say, we'll be trading it out for moneys. Gonzo can't hit anything and is, overall, worse than either of the axe siblings, Geese's pathetic, and everybody else is dead.

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Okay. Now we just need a way for Hugh to get close enough without any risk involved.

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Good enough.

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Another silver bow! Excellent! Dorothy's going to love this one.

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And that's another kill for Hugh. I hope he gets speed. His promotional gains for everything else are beastly, but for speed... not so much.

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Hah! Thanks, Hugh.

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Oh, how gracious of FE6 to deign to grant me the honour of posessing a rescue staff!

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I could've used that far earlier. See, the availability of utility staves is a matter that most of the series handle rather sloppily, except for FE12: you get the good staves (and the dancer for that matter) so late into most games... instead, FE12 gives us the rescue staff very early. Of course, there's the fact that without the rescue staff, some things in FE12 (like saving both Merric and Elrean) become neigh impossible, but, eh... details.

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Anyhow, time to face the Manakete. The whole army moves ahead cautiously.

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Before the epic fight against the mighty dragon, however, this happens.

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It almost seems like he outright refuses to reach his speed cap. Saul, really soon you're going to have 2 more competitors for the combat Mage department, and in a few chapters, a really strong contender for the best staffbot. You'll need magic to stand a chance.

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Ah, shucks.

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Well, as usual, Lot'll take care of everything. If I could give this kill to Hugh, it would be swell.

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Uh... he's not moving.

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Well, then, have it your way: we'll bring the fight to you!

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This is so annoying. It never ceases to be! It begs repeating, why can't I just send stolen items to Merlinus like everything else?

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Here, have the cash, Cecilia.

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And thus, we obtain even more cash.

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I hate to waste another use of the Armads, but I don't want to take any risks.

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Down you go, little dragon!

Supposedly, we've just sealed Lot's fate further, according to some fanfiction. Pfhah. We'll see about that.

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Well, he may not have been able to take the dragon kill, but Hugh should be able to kill the few Knights scattered across the map on his own quite easily.

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As planned, Cecilia heads back outside to retrieve Saul's heal staff. We'll need it to fight Narcian.

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Oh, my! A horseslayer! How positively terrifying!

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What better person to take care of this than JEIGOD!?!

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That was painful. But Marcus survived a horseslayer hit in chapter 16, which, in itself, is quite impressive. You know, in my first playthrough, I actually used Marcus all the way up to chapter 15, but when the horseslayer Cavalier there one-shot him, I decided it was time to let him hit the bench. Not this time, however. Marcus is determined to prove his mettle to the world!

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Look, overthere! It's a flying... thing!

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Like so!

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I think it's about time we took care of Zeiss, wouldn't you agree?

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Turn 45... yeah, it's about time. Oh, my... I hope none of you readers likes LTCing, because this sight must be very painful for you.

Although not as painful as the time it took me hundreds of turns to kill Legance...

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Minera, as well as recruiting her brother, is going to be doing some shopping, so here, have both cards, Minerva.

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Oh. I forgot to make Cecilia give back the cash before she left to pay Dougy and his compadres a visit.

D'oh!

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Whatever, it's not as if we've any reason to hurry at all. Zeiss is another man plagued by the Matthis syndrome, in that he'll throw a javelin at anybody who attempts to break his wall, even if it's his own sister or his childhood friend (Elen).

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Makin' good use of that steel axe I never use because it's far too cumbersome.

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The time has come for some more talking!

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Yes, what are you doing in this castle that is under Bern's control? I can't think of any reason!

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You are, actually. If you weren't his sister, Narcian would've searched for someone else to accuse randomly.

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Yes, Minerva, why would you betray the country that wants to kill everybody, including the two of us?!

I mean, I can understand someone like Murdock, who's more or less like a big brother to Zephiel, or Brenya, who wants his D, following him to the bitter end, but what's Zeiss's excuse? He's just a soldier! Doesn't he know what goal he's fighting to achieve?

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Think, Zeiss, think. Use that stupid brain of yours, for once, and think about the implications of what your sister has done. He threw away his boyfriend for a woman. A woman who is so remarkably beautiful, people gossip about her to the point that Saul was already drooling about her before even meeting her. Remember?

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Obviously, you don't know Saul, but I'm sure you've heard the rumours, being from Bern and all. Now, what conclusion do all of these clues take us to, Zeiss?

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Hmmm... maybe the ellipsis means he gets it?

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Enough of the lesbian jokes, me, this is a serious moment!

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You're starting to sound a little like Metal Gear Solid here, Minerva.

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I stand corrected: you're sounding VERY MUCH like Metal Gear Solid here.

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Yey! New unit! Let's--

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...sorry?

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Well, that was stupid. Let's take a look at Zeiss.

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Zeiss is interesting. He comes at level 7 with bases more befitting of a level 15 unit. That said, however, he's not all sunshine and rainbows. While his strength and defense are quite good, his speed is bad and so is his growth. As well, he has no resistance to speak of. He's good, but not as good as Minerva just because of that speed of his. I don't know if I'll use him, but even if I do, it won't be in this chapter.

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Time t-- wait, what?

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What...? The hell happened here?

Oh, no, don't tell me I...

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...well.

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I'd like to ask you all... how many of you actually noticed this hilarious fuck-up prior to this moment? I mean, it's right there, I didn't do anything to hide it.

Goddamnit, why.

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Sigh... do you have the cards now, Minerva? Everything according to plan? Good. Let's try this again, then.

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Woohoo! We need two Guiding Rings and an Orion's Bolt. Tate already has an Elysian Whip.

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Let's sell the Knight's Crest and wait 'til Cecilia gets back from having a heartwarming reunion with Dougy.

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Speaking of which, how do I handle this?

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Hm... it's guaranteed that they won't kill each other in just one round of combat, I see.

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Ah, General move. So pitiful. If I end up using Dougy seriously, I'm going to have to give him the boots.

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Hey, while we're here, let's speak to Dougy. Maybe Cecilia will be able to get him to recapacitate?

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It's because, no matter what happens, he shall not leave his king's side!

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No, seriously, why didn't they outright state that Douglas and the king are very close beyond the former's duties as Great General? It doesn't make Dougy in this chapter any less painful, but at least it makes him look less like a fucking idiot and more like a desperate man trying to hide how scared of his friend's death he really is.

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Of course, Cecilia will have none of that. While everyone else, Perceval included, is like "boohoo, but there's nothing we can do, so... eh!", Cecilia doesn't hesitate to tell Douglas the truth, as painful as it may be.

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Stubborn, are we? Dayni, read closely, Cecilia is about to diss Dougy!

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So here we have this young, new-ish general who just roasted the greatest veteran of Etruria. What does he have to say?

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That's his answer. "THAT'S YOUR OPINION!" in fancier wording. Hah hah hah! Poor, poor Dougy, he got beat hard.

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He couldn't even stick an axe into her to avenge his wounded pride.

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And then she proceeds to use her horse to leave the heavily-armored guy behind, humiliating him further. Jeez, Cecilia, at this rate, he's going to end up killing himself to avoid the embarrassment, and that will lock us out of 16x, so please, stop it!

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"What are you laughing at!?"

"O-oh, nothing! I definitely wasn't laughing at that beautiful, beautiful woman making a fool out of you!"

"WHY, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE...! IF I AM TO DIE HERE, AT LEAST I'LL BRING YOU DOWN WITH ME!"

"Ahh! Dorothy! Help me!"

"...sorry, I'm too busy... searching for mushrooms in this forest! Yes, that's it! Don't worry, I'll send flowers to your widow-- oh, I'm sorry, that's right..."

"...Dorothy... why..."

Honestly, Saul, considering how badly Cecilia destroys you in your support with her, I wouldn't be laughing too much at Douglas.

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Rejoice, people! Cecilia can heal again!

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Neat frame I captured here.

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There we go. Now we've got the cash we need, and we haven't even stolen Narcian's blue gem yet.

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Time to storm the throne room, starting with Narcian's sole bodyguard. This scrubby Knight. I almost feel bad about killing him, he had to stay in the same room as Narcian for the whole map. Can you believe how much rambling this poor soul had to endure?

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Worry not, Hugh will put you out of your misery.

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Argh! That's not happening, no sir.

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Instead, let's get him one more level before promoting him. I could wait 'til next chapter and try to get him to level 20, but I don't think it's worth the trouble.

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Amazing! Thank you for making this a great level up, Hugh.

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Chad has finally arrived to the throne room. Say goodbye to your goodies, Narcian. You won't need them in the afterlife.

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Awesome level up, but it's far too late.

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Look at all that cash!

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There we go. Sue won't be promoting just yet, as I want both her and Tate to be at level 20 when we get to next chapter's boss for reasons, but Lilina and Hugh will be doing it right now.

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The time has finally come, Lilina. You've waited a long time, but at last...

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...your magic cap has been increased. The sky is the limit! If the sky is 30 points of magic high, that is. I like the speed, too, although defensively she's still pathetic.

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You too, Hugh.

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I like Hugh's palette. Green's always good, and the darker, paler colours suit the Sage sprite very much.

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You thought I was exagerating when I said his mag gains were beastly? Hah! +4 magic, bitches!

But the best part of Hugh is that 12 defense. Niceeee... this is a mage who can take a couple hits if he has to, which is rare. Fitting for a gruff, lazy, greedy young adult in a series where most mages are idealistic, kind-hearted kids or wise old people. Even if at times, Hugh's more of a child than any of this game's children (see... really, any of his supports. Being a man-child who likes to pretend he's a hardass is a big part of his character).

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Hmm... I wonder...

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Baaah Narcian has just enough speed to double him. Nuts.

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Hmmm... will it count as a dishonorable reset if I fight him with Cecilia to show of their exchange and then go back?

I certainly hope not, because I did it.

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It's in times like these that I wish Cecilia's stats weren't so bad. She can't really back up her sass in this occasion.

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Yeah... let's not let this really happen.

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Like so.

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Time to get serious. Deploy the Lotbomb!

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I have to admit, I love this line. It's amazing, and perfectly encapsulates the fact that Narcian has gone completely nuts in his narcissism. Sadly, though, it's too long for what seems to be the norm in Heroes, because I'd love to hear this line with that magnificently cringey voice he has in that game.

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Too bad he's no match to the Great Warrior of the West!

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Hmmm... I wonder...

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Oh. Well, he might crit yet.

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Bah. At least he didn't get hit.

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Scratch that.

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Of course, now you crit. Don't do this, Marcus!

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Don't start missing now, you!

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Time skip! Let's go straight to the juicy part!

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Hahahah... the time has come, Narcian! You will fall, wishing you'd killed us back when you still had the chance!

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HAHAHAHAH! GOODBYE...

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...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PIECE OF SHIT!

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Oh, please...

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I think this calls for another time skip! Hurray!

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Good, thank you, Lot.

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Of all times you could've gotten hit, and you picked now?!

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At least Cecilia got a good level up while Lot was trying to set up the kill for Marcus.

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Lot... not so much.

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Oh, no... okay, Marcus, you've GOT to hit this one. Everything depends on it!

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C'mon... c'mon... luck be with me for once...!

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What!?!

Ran1sR8.pngBe careful! Lord Narcian is strong! Let me handle this, old Sir! I am a young soldier of Bern, I can do it!

4pBxQbA.pngOld?! You fool, I can take him on far better than you could ever hope to! Stop it! Halt!

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4pBxQbA.pngI want to fight him! For Pherae! Piss off, you... whippersnapper!

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Bitch, please. Did he ever have any sense of honour? Or any sense, at all?

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Except Gale will tell everyone the truth. Sorry, Narcian.

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Zeiss, you idiot... you ruined everything!

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, no, I just wanted to show their battle talk.

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4pBxQbA.pngFor my honour as a knight of Pherae!

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JEd6bEp.pngDIE! FOR LYCIA!

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And so...

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The scoundrel known as Narcian has fallen. Noone will miss him. Ever. Not even his widow. Mostly because he was married to himself, which means his widow died with him.

(I know, the hand looks wonky. I couldn't find a way to get rid of it that wouldn't take far more time that I was willing to waste on this sack of shit, sorry.)

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Jeigan level! Hype! Hype!

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Hmmm... the level he got out of Oates was also bad... it seems he only gets godly level-ups out of doing what he does best: Jeiganing. How interesting.

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This happened also. Too bad, but we've more to replace it.

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With the rest of our cash, I buy two angelic robes.

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One for Lilina, so she can at least take one hit.

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Another one for Sue, because she's only second to Lilina in terms of having horrible defense.

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Much better.

Okay, time to double check everything in order to ensure I am not forgetting anything.

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All chests have been pilfered...

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Narcian is dead and we took the Delphi shield from him before killing him...

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Hugh and Zeiss are with us...

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Douglas is alive...

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Turn count isn't too shabby...

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...you realise what this means, right?

This means I have just completed one of the most annoying chapters in the game perfectly without losing a single unit.

Oh my God.

Yes! Yes! Finally, I have won! I have really won this time! Luck and skill were both with me this time! My plan was good, my luck was great, everything went well!

For once, I beat one chapter without something depressing happening! Neither the RNG nor my faulty strategies have screwed me over this time!

AAAAH, YES! I AM SO HAPPY! I AM SO, SO VERY HAPPY!

AT LAST, I HAVE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! I AM A BADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

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Ah, shut up and let me have my moment, will you?

Bah, it's ruined. Thank you very much, me.

Moving on...

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Whoa, you're old. Maybe the Dougy theory would work better if we consider you a father figure for him, instead of a brother?

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Even with still portraits and the lack of dynamic facial expressions, I can still feel the sheer awkwardness that's quickly filling the room of the many columns. Seriously, who designed this castle? It's even got columns outside!

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As well as Saul's legendary weapon. We must get it! So that I can prove one can use light magic without arena abusing!

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Honestly, they did a good job with this guy's portrait. He looks so utterly sad.

Have I already said this at some point? For whatever reason, I'm feeling déjà vu here...

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This is the script's excuse for us taking the Aureola.

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Don't even try. Outliving one's child is one of the most horrible things that can happen to somebody. Only his son's return could bring him back, but alas, I can't think of anyone who looks, acts, and is his son...

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Certainly not... Trul?

OMIGOSH PLOTTWIST OF THE YEAR! This guy was neither Delphin nor Little Shit, he was... Trul!

...

...that was highly dumb, but I regret it not.

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Delphin doesn't tell his father of his survival. I can understand not returning, Delphin, you want to keep helping Roy until the end of the war.

What I can't understand, however, is why you won't let your father, and your father alone, know you're alive. Just request a private audience with him (after Roartz and Arcardo's departure, I'm going to assume Douglas would be the next man in the line to temporarily take on the mantle of chancellor, and I doubt Dougy of all people would give you trouble to see the king) and let him know you're alive, but that it needs to be kept a secret just a little longer, for you'll be more useful by Roy's side than anywhere else, that until you return, you need him to be strong and lead Etruria as well as he can. If he has any brains at all, he'll understand and comprehend your decision, and knowing you're well will lift an extremely heavy weigh off his shoulders. There's no need to keep the poor old man suffering!

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Instead, you deemed it more prudent to apologise to one of the many columns of the castle. Holy crap, Delphin. Why do you hate your father so much? Do you blame him for what you saw at the Western Isles, perhaps? You know Roartz is to blame for that one!

Oh, well, rant over. Next time, we'll face another very annoying chapter and meet an old foe of ours again... except this time, he's not quite the same.

He's orange. And dumber.

Until then, do attempt to fare as well as humanely possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To be continued.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot
                       
Fir
                        Wendy
                        Og
ier
                        Treck
                        Barth
                       
Bartre
                       
Elen
                        Echidna
                        Cath
                        Sophia
                       
Raigh

*Discharged

*Retreated after being wounded

*Only dead in route B

*Only dead in route A

*???

Reset count: 5

Dishonorable reset count: 1

Merlinus death count: 8

 

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1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

umTp5fD.pngG7XclC3.png

Even Albertus has some standards!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Some men just want to watch Merlinus burn.

AND WHAT OF IT?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Maybe Lundgren likes 'em like that.

From what I can see, I doubt he's into anyone like that.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You kiddin'? He was already titanic in FE12! And I don't mean just his square-shaped frown, the guy was huge. Maybe it was just his clothing, but he was even wider than people like Barst Ogma, and Barst and Ogma are supposed to be buff.

He's also not someone who's associated with massive strength and he's likely shorter then most of the cast.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I cringed to the point where my neck snapped. Now I have to use a wheelchair for life.

Not much has changed in my life, really.

That's a line in Heroes from him.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Who did? Himself? He loves himself enough for it.

The generic soldier. He didn't bother getting Zeiss after all.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This piece of crap has been stalking me as I wrote the replies to your reply. So... creepy!

Those things haunt everyone who ever saw Thunderbirds.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

xYvBe7W.pngvpA1Llw.png

I beg to differ.

So? They're the only two who haven't died yet and they're totally at risk, all the others except Lilina died (I can't remember who else got great levels).

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No, but even if you forgot to bring her along and left her sitting on the bench, he still says she's "here". I'd assume "here" would mean "the castle".

He is on about her being with the army, so I think that's still fine.

You always find issue when Gale talks.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It was a great plan, you've got to admit it.

In hindsight, yes, yes it was.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, if only...

Link arena's a thing.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Perceval is not alive.

Prove me wrong.

.....I know he's dead to you, but still.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Thracia is the devil when it comes to game mechanics, after all.

THE DEVIL YOU SAY?

Sometimes the mechanic is more fun than devilish. Though most of them are double-edged swords.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, yeah, the mother thing was a typo.

Also his mother's Nino's aunt. Are they the largest family group in FE outside Fates?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

bjRh69T.pnglaATnjT.pngaofVBQ8.png4J94Np2.png

Everything goes as planned, except for Douglas, who, bafflingly, changes targets and tries his luck against... Saul? What? Why is he doing that? His defense isn't much lower than Dorothy's, and his chance to hit the foul Bishop is a flat zero! I mean, I'm not complaining, just... why, Doug, why? How does this tactical nonsense benefit your strategy, Douglas?

So yeah, I already said his plan sucks. He's not all that tactically inclined.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Before long, only one Mercenary remains. Chad, meanwhile, starts working on the treasury. Berserk! This'll be fun to use, but not so fun to suffer. But I hope that doesn't come to pass too soon...

Spoiler alert: we'll face our first berserk asshole next chapter. Urk...

I'm already retching at the next chapter.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Look, overthere! It's a flying... thing!

That or Hugh's striking a pose.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Yes, what are you doing in this castle that is under Bern's control? I can't think of any reason!

I think she means hiding behind a wall.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Zeiss is interesting. He comes at level 7 with bases more befitting of a level 15 unit. That said, however, he's not all sunshine and rainbows. While his strength and defense are quite good, his speed is bad and so is his growth. As well, he has no resistance to speak of. He's good, but not as good as Minerva just because of that speed of his. I don't know if I'll use him, but even if I do, it won't be in this chapter.

Well, you might need him. He has the best unpromoted Aid after all that you might use.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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...well.

IsScO7A.png

I'd like to ask you all... how many of you actually noticed this hilarious fuck-up prior to this moment? I mean, it's right there, I didn't do anything to hide it.

That.... that's on you.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stubborn, are we? Dayni, read closely, Cecilia is about to diss Dougy!

Why are you calling me out here?

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"What are you laughing at!?"

"O-oh, nothing! I definitely wasn't laughing at that beautiful, beautiful woman making a fool out of you!"

"WHY, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE...! IF I AM TO DIE HERE, AT LEAST I'LL BRING YOU DOWN WITH ME!"

"Ahh! Dorothy! Help me!"

"...sorry, I'm too busy... searching for mushrooms in this forest! Yes, that's it! Don't worry, I'll send flowers to your widow-- oh, I'm sorry, that's right..."

"...Dorothy... why..."

Honestly, Saul, considering how badly Cecilia destroys you in your support with her, I wouldn't be laughing too much at Douglas.

Douglas is just broken inside now. Totally unusable.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

peAxN67.pngWuf3Q2y.png3IfJxvx.png

...your magic cap has been increased. The sky is the limit! If the sky is 30 points of magic high, that is. I like the speed, too, although defensively she's still pathetic.

But of course she is. That 14 speed can only improve (I hope)

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jqq0KFj.png

You thought I was exagerating when I said his mag gains were beastly? Hah! +4 magic, bitches!

But the best part of Hugh is that 12 defense. Niceeee... this is a mage who can take a couple hits if he has to, which is rare. Fitting for a gruff, lazy, greedy young adult in a series where most mages are idealistic, kind-hearted kids or wise old people. Even if at times, Hugh's more of a child than any of this game's children (see... really, any of his supports. Being a man-child who likes to pretend he's a hardass is a big part of his character).

Too soon man. You'd have been fine getting the levels first imo.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

JO2uUdq.pngjXsyrN8.pngO3G6ZVz.png

It's in times like these that I wish Cecilia's stats weren't so bad. She can't really back up her sass in this occasion.

I'm telling you, Cecilia has trouble doing this. Ever. A shame.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

IHJBASI.pngjC1A6ix.pngYfcAFZm.png

I have to admit, I love this line. It's amazing, and perfectly encapsulates the fact that Narcian has gone completely nuts in his narcissism. Sadly, though, it's too long for what seems to be the norm in Heroes, because I'd love to hear this line with that magnificently cringey voice he has in that game.

Well, not enough for one  quote anyway.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ran1sR8.pngBe careful! Lord Narcian is strong! Let me handle this, old Sir! I am a young soldier of Bern, I can do it!

4pBxQbA.pngOld?! You fool, I can take him on far better than you could ever hope to! Stop it! Halt!

Marcus after stopping Zeiss:

5ab57400e7f12_HappyMarcus.png.f310ffa474b0ca34c4df5cd71d919b6b.png

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hq2bKmz.pngRQhHQe7.pngz6P5qiI.png

Bitch, please. Did he ever have any sense of honour? Or any sense, at all?

K7hDqAx.pngUrRPgUL.pngnFwUt2X.png

Except Gale will tell everyone the truth. Sorry, Narcian.

Narcian must be terrified. If only it worked and he died.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

LI0tuZ4.png

Hmmm... the level he got out of Oates was also bad... it seems he only gets godly level-ups out of doing what he does best: Jeiganing. How interesting.

Especially with a level like this.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

RZZoGau.png

...you realise what this means, right?

This means I have just completed one of the most annoying chapters in the game perfectly without losing a single unit.

Oh my God.

Yes! Yes! Finally, I have won! I have really won this time! Luck and skill were both with me this time! My plan was good, my luck was great, everything went well!

For once, I beat one chapter without something depressing happening! Neither the RNG nor my faulty strategies have screwed me over this time!

I'd say this music might fit too. It is the end of an arc too.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

8l0wMos.pngoq3F1Ev.png3EeCszH.png8u0Nhu9.png

Honestly, they did a good job with this guy's portrait. He looks so utterly sad.

Have I already said this at some point? For whatever reason, I'm feeling déjà vu here...

HMMMMM........

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

qBAHOd2.pngwiCX37r.png

Delphin doesn't tell his father of his survival. I can understand not returning, Delphin, you want to keep helping Roy until the end of the war.

What I can't understand, however, is why you won't let your father, and your father alone, know you're alive. Just request a private audience with him (after Roartz and Arcardo's departure, I'm going to assume Douglas would be the next man in the line to temporarily take on the mantle of chancellor, and I doubt Dougy of all people would give you trouble to see the king) and let him know you're alive, but that it needs to be kept a secret just a little longer, for you'll be more useful by Roy's side than anywhere else, that until you return, you need him to be strong and lead Etruria as well as he can. If he has any brains at all, he'll understand and comprehend your decision, and knowing you're well will lift an extremely heavy weigh off his shoulders. There's no need to keep the poor old man suffering!

Well, that's what Prince Little Shit does.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

us0eHLa.png

Raigh looks like he woke up in the hospital after the most intense bender of his life and woke up into an apocalypse.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Could it be........

And I'll have to apologise, but there's not going to be an update from me for a little bit, I got an interview for later this week.

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14 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Commence Operation DDD (Distract De Dougy)!

Fire Emblem on GBA... with 3D! (Ba dum tss)

15 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

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Did I said I have a good feeling about Lilina? I can't remember what Supports she already has under her belt, but that puts her in front of Hugh. (but yeah, Hugh has average Def)

I want to say that 16x is going to be the last annoying chapter, but if I recall you said you go to Sacae. I don't have too much experience with Sacae.

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16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Even with still portraits and the lack of dynamic facial expressions, I can still feel the sheer awkwardness that's quickly filling the room of the many columns. Seriously, who designed this castle? It's even got columns outside!

Perhaps they entered the castle into a most columns contest and probably won. Which is part of the reason why Bern declared war on them because Narcian's castle didn't win. :D

16 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This means I have just completed one of the most annoying chapters in the game perfectly without losing a single unit.

I'm glad to be proven wrong :)

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Part 32 - More like Hellish Arrows.

On 28/3/2018 at 8:16 PM, Dayni said:

Even Albertus has some standards!

Hey, he's a good man.

AND WHAT OF IT?

Nothing, I agree.

From what I can see, I doubt he's into anyone like that.

He's too generic to be into anyone. He's married to his job, that being to be evil at all times.

He's also not someone who's associated with massive strength and he's likely shorter then most of the cast.

Don't ruin my headcanon, here. Besides, his portrait is always looking down.

Honestly, I wish he got artwork. That would solve all our doubts.

That's a line in Heroes from him.

And what glorious line he has! Urkkkk...

The generic soldier. He didn't bother getting Zeiss after all.

Eh, I guess it makes enough sense.

Those things haunt everyone who ever saw Thunderbirds.

Sheesh...

So? They're the only two who haven't died yet and they're totally at risk, all the others except Lilina died (I can't remember who else got great levels).

And Saul, and Dorothy, and Wade, and Sue, And Tate... your argument doesn't hold. I've lost a lot of people, but that doesn't mean we don't have a few veterans to speak of.

He is on about her being with the army, so I think that's still fine.

You always find issue when Gale talks.

It's the eyes. Who in the world would wear a headband covering half of his eyes?

In hindsight, yes, yes it was.

Woo! I won!

Link arena's a thing.

That's right.

.....I know he's dead to you, but still.

I've nothing to add. Perceval's dead, and that's final.

THE DEVIL YOU SAY?

Sometimes the mechanic is more fun than devilish. Though most of them are double-edged swords.

Hey, game mechanics can be fun and be the devil all the same.

Today's devilish game mechanics will not be fun.

Also his mother's Nino's aunt. Are they the largest family group in FE outside Fates?

They might very well be.

So yeah, I already said his plan sucks. He's not all that tactically inclined.

He's loyally inclined. He shall never leave his king's side! Never! Not in a million years!

I'm already retching at the next chapter.

You'd do well to retch. Bet you an imaginary buck it's going to be worse than you expect. We'll find out later.

That or Hugh's striking a pose.

I took the time to edit the Knight's sprite, so let's go for my theory.

I think she means hiding behind a wall.

Fair enough.

Well, you might need him. He has the best unpromoted Aid after all that you might use.

Not enough aid to carry Douglas = not enough aid, period.

That.... that's on you.

Yeah... heheh... aaahhh... blistering fuckin' barnacles...

Why are you calling me out here?

Why, because you hate Douglas so much!

Douglas is just broken inside now. Totally unusable.

Nonsense. He can be used just fine.

But of course she is. That 14 speed can only improve (I hope)

I definitely do.

Too soon man. You'd have been fine getting the levels first imo.

Waiting 'til level 20 to promote is a pitfall. I will prove you wrong by bringing Hugh to the endgame.

In a more serious note, I'd much rather have a promoted Hugh with two less levels, than bring him unpromoted to this chapter. That's just a recipe for disaster. If I really have to get him to catch up, next chapter has an arena, but I believe his stats are good enough as it is.

I'm telling you, Cecilia has trouble doing this. Ever. A shame.

Stupid IntSys, nerfing my favourite General.

Well, not enough for one  quote anyway.

I... I'll be honest, that's a horrible rendition of the quote in my opinion. "I am righteous... uh and morethananyoneelseanywhere!". Doesn't sound right.

Marcus after stopping Zeiss:

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As always.

Narcian must be terrified. If only it worked and he died.

I would've rewinded anyways. Waste of experience that could've been given to Jeigan.

This is one of those sentences that I never thought I'd ever say, but here we are.

Especially with a level like this.

He's still top tier.

I'd say this music might fit too. It is the end of an arc too.

That one, too.

HMMMMM........

I read that whole update but I can't seem to find what you're referencing. Please explain.

Well, that's what Prince Little Shit does.

You mean, being a Little Shit?

Raigh looks like he woke up in the hospital after the most intense bender of his life and woke up into an apocalypse.

Well, he did get hit critically, and then bailed out by a monstrosity.

Could it be........

No no, go ahead, make a prediction.

And I'll have to apologise, but there's not going to be an update from me for a little bit, I got an interview for later this week.

Ah, that's just too bad, but real life comes first.

 

On 28/3/2018 at 11:01 PM, eclipse said:

. . .you somehow made bloody!Narcian look better than his usual portrait.  What is this devilry?!

Thank you very much for the kind words. More so because I don't really like that edit. The stupid hand is entirely to blame for it. Goddamnit, Narcian, even in death you annoy me... who the hell holds his pinkie out when he's dying? I tried to remove the hand, but it would've taken too long, so I just... sort of sprayed red over it and called it a day.

 

On 29/3/2018 at 10:29 AM, Garlyle said:

Fire Emblem on GBA... with 3D! (Ba dum tss)

Oh, God...

Did I said I have a good feeling about Lilina? I can't remember what Supports she already has under her belt, but that puts her in front of Hugh. (but yeah, Hugh has average Def)

Actually, no, it doesn't. Lilina's list is huge, but...

- Everyone else from Ostia is dead...

- ...except for Astolfo, who's a Thief in FE6, thus not really worth deploying for anything other than pilfering shenanigans.

- Roy has Marcus.

- Garret and Gonzo aren't worth it, especially with Lot and Wade kicking ass.

That leaves Lilina with a whopping one viable option, and I'm not sure if Cecilia will be able to keep up for long. On the other hand, Hugh has Niime, who's pretty good as well as my last hope for a Druid.

Hugh's average defense is better than having none at all like Lilina, and unless he gets severely speed screwed, his speed will be good as well. Again, not saying Lilina's bad, but underselling Hugh isn't a good idea either.

I want to say that 16x is going to be the last annoying chapter, but if I recall you said you go to Sacae. I don't have too much experience with Sacae.

Yes, I'm going both ways. Sooner than later, I shall regret my decision.

 

On 29/3/2018 at 11:20 AM, deskita said:

Perhaps they entered the castle into a most columns contest and probably won. Which is part of the reason why Bern declared war on them because Narcian's castle didn't win. :D

That sounds like something Narcian would do.

I'm glad to be proven wrong :)

As I am to prove you wrong, man. It was about time.

 

Spoiler

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Nothing good will come out of it. This one doesn't reach 14x's levels of smashing my will to play into the ground, but it comes close. You'll see when the time comes.

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It's also equiped with advanced magical weaponery, for whatever reason.

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Jeez, Roartz is even uglier than the last time I saw him.

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Look, it's Orlo! Except this guy has nothing on the good Bishop. Believe me, having the same face is where the similarities between them end.

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Inventory management.

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Right in the last second, I remembered to give Roy some extra weaponery to give to Dougy when he joins. Stupid units joining after the preparations are over...

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Today's team. I've decided to give Zeiss a chance. Wish him luck. Other than that, it's just the usual gaiden team. Or, well, the usual gaiden team that has survived thus far, plus the newcomers.

You know, it just dawned on me that I always bench Wade and Lot for gaiden chapters. Maybe that's why I always suffer so much with these.

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Glorious, my ass. There's nothing glorious about this chapter. Unless they mean "glorified torture".

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Even more pillars. FE6's misuse of conversation backgrounds keeps on baffling me. That said, this one isn't so bad, since neither Windy nor Roy's Bois are outside, so it's not as stupid as last chapter's idiocy.

And neither of these instances do so much as reaching the ankles of that time we watched Roy and a generic talk in the Arcadian green plains with snowy mountains on the background in terms of being utterly stupid.

Why am I nitpicking this incredibly minor detail so much?

Ah, right, it's like me nitpicking Gale every time I see him because his bandana covers half of his eyes. Moving on.

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Here's Windham's backstory. He betrayed the church to take over the Saintly Tower for Roartz. He's also a bad person. That's... it, pretty much.

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Roartz's magnificent intelligence rears its ugly head once more. He just left an ally (an ally who has a berserk staff, at that!) behind because... reasons? Why not come to the tower, fetch Windham and flee with him? Maybe even grab his troops as well so that, when you go beg to Murdock/Brenya for help, you have 30-40 people whose help to offer to Bern instead of just you and Arcardo?

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Not that this guy's much more brilliant, mind you. How is it Yoder's fault that your boss and Narcian are/were (respectively) imbeciles who can't do anything right?

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You could try to be sneaky about it. You could pretend to surrender, and then stab somebody in the back. But nope, you're just going to be dumb because IntSys spent all their intelligence points on Orlo.

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Oh, God, not the Heavenly Arrows.

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Believe me, Murphy's law dictates that you won't hit your own men unless it inconveniences me in some way.

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Ah, Orlo. Seeing this poorsman's version of you being a generic idiot makes me so sad... I miss you so much.

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Yes, I will, but it's a necessary evil.

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Ah! Dougy! Run, Roy, run! He might attack you!

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Oh, right, we're on the king's side now. That means Dougy can stop attacking us without it meaning he's leaving his king's side, because as you know, Douglas shall never leave his king's side! Ever! Not a chance!

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I want a general, so it's okay, Dougy, I forgive you, even if nobody else will.

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Hey, thanks, man. I, too, am proud of my performance in the last chapter.

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So, the tower off which Elimine launched herself into the bright skies. I dig the map's aesthetics. That cloud effect looks very nice.

Other than that, this chapter's characterised by its unusually high amount of mages running amok. There are 5 siege assholes, Windham has a berserk staff that covers half the map, there's a Sage with a silence staff... if I had a longbow, I could kill the Sage in the middle easily, but alas, apparently the longbow is the rarest weapon in the game.

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Speaking of whom, he's a bolting asshole, because why wouldn't he be.

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A part of me likes the fact that this game actually uses siege tomes and asshole tomes regularly, unlike the other GBA games, but... the rest of me wants to be happy.

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Lastly, we got these guys blocking the way to Windham. Extremely high-level longbow Snipers. They're most useful to give Dougy a level or two if you want to use him.

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The boss is Windham, and he's a magical marvel. Almost capped magic, ladies and gentlemen.

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But that's not the worst part, nooo the worst part is that he has a berserk staff, and thanks to his beastly magic, his range with it goes beyond the Sage in the little room in the middle. Urgh.

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Before we proceed, you might've noticed we've new faces among us. Dougy himself is now a blue unit! Fantastic! Dougy is not such a bad unit, actually. His defense is very high, so is his strength, and his growths could be worse, 30s everywhere isn't horrible. He, however, does have many crippling flaws. His speed is absolutely horrendous, his skill isn't that good, his con makes him almost as unrescuable as Merlinus and he suffers from a deployment situation second only to Cecilia's in how bad it is. Seriously, this chapter is the complete opposite of the sort of map Dougy likes. I guess it's part of what makes him be discarded inmediately by everybody.

I'm not everybody, though. I'm a special snowflake and a genius and y'all should respect, love and worship me for it. In that order.

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Will you stop shoving that into my face every time I try to say something positive about myself?!?! God!

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Very well, time to begin. First things first, have some cheaper weapons, Dougy.

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Let's start climbing. I don't know how I'll handle the onslaugh of bullshit that is about to rain down upon us, but... guess I'll find a way, eventually. There's always a way. I mean, even chapter 7 was beatable, right?

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These things. These things are the worst thing ever. They come down and deal 10 damage to anyone. There's no way to know if they're coming beyond memorizing the pattern, and there's no way to dodge or defend against them. You just have to keep everyone above 10 HP at all times, and/or pray.

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These morons aren't attacking, by the way, not even the bolting guy. I have to move forward into the range of the status staves, and attack them myself. Joy.

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Might as well get rid of the biggest threats first: the accurate Mercenaries.

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A rescue chain later, Marcus has Roy nearby to give him stat bonuses. The others just move forward in whatever way they see fit.

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Aaaand here we go. It begins.

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Eh. At least that won't stop him from attacking the enemy. Could be worse, could be sleep. Berserk just means we must prioritize restoring Marcus over everything else.

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S light, everybody. Saul has reached max holiness, all while being the worst person in Elibe. I don't know how I feel about this.

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Nice! He dodged.

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Marcus!

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Okay, thank you.

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The Sage attempts to electrocute Roy. He does not succeed.

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Urgh... thank God these only last for 3 turns.

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The arrow doesn't hit anybody. See, that's another dick move: if you see a stationary enemy, then 9 times out of 10 that particular tile cannot be hit by the arrows. The soldier's complaints to Windham? Bullshit. He takes good care not to hit anybody who hasn't broken formation. Isn't that amazing?

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Get a hold of yourself, Marcus. I know you want to defend your honour as a knight of Pherae, but going berserk isn't the way!

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This, on the other hand, is very much the way.

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Aaaaaaaand first fuck-up of the day. I forgot to give Saul a normal heal stuff.

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Eh, no harm done, we still have four units who can use staves.

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Hmmm... please, Sue, get a crit.

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Excellent!

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This is the second time Hugh gets silenced. Except this time, his allies are able ot restore him.

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And with that, no more enemies are left to harass us.

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The plan is as follows: wait the bolting and the status staves out. Yep. I'm not trying to break any records here, as we know, so there's no good reason to fight under bolting fire.

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Jesus Christ, Zeiss... that's too much damage. Maybe I shouldn't have brought you here.

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Oh, no... oh, no, no, no... that did not just happen.

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I can't believe it!

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I GET KILLED BY SINGLE DIGIT CRIT CHANCES! I GET KILLED BY THE HEAVENLY ARROWS! I GET KILLED BY MAGES, CAVALIERS, KNIGHTS, MERCENARIES, HORSEMEN, EVERYTHING! WHAT'S NEXT?! AM I GOING TO LOSE SOMEONE TO FRIGGIN' POISON DAMAGE?!!?

Okay, what did I say I'd do if this happened? Because, if you don't know, Zeiss's death just locked us out of 21x for no good reason.

On 12/3/2018 at 2:06 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

if Milady/Zeiss died, then what?

Well, I've been thinking, and I think this is what I'll do when if the time comes: I'll just reset (I suppose adding a dishonorable reset to the counter) and discharge the unit in question for life, like Lance and Jerrot.

Ah, I see.

Well, then.

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It's not like there's much more I can do about it, is there?

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Igrene, you're in. Please don't die. I can't reset for you.

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The first turn, I do virtually the same I did in the last first turn.

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Except this time, Marcus gets hit a lot. What, am I going to lose Marcus to dishonorable resets? That would be the cherry on top of the shit pie.

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Good. I would've been real mad if I lost Marcus to something as stupid as... something he had already survived once before.

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So this all happens again, and here's where I noticed that the arrows were falling in exactly the same pattern as the last time around.

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Knowing this, I decided to try and conduct a little experiment.

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Looks familiar? Saul is in the same tile column he was the last time. He's now standing over Zeiss' corpse, that's all.

Oh, yeah, that's another thing: as far as the plot is concerned, Zeiss is dead. Without Wrys, there is noone to go in to save anybody in the brink of defeat. And since these first two turns have more or less gone exactly like last time, let's just pretend I never reset, shall we?

Yes, that's it... forget the reset happened, and... I'll just... casually forget to add it to the counter...

...what? What are you giving me that gaze for?

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Oh, God.

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NO! NO! SUE! AAAAAARGH!

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NOT AGAIN!!

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Oh, God, they barely missed her... oof...!

Three turns in, and I already can't take any more. This game's gaidens are the devil!

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Okay, new plan: anyone who is left with 10 HP or less after taking a bolting blast (Sue) will run the fuck away.

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The others will just carry on with their usual endeavours.

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There it is, everybody. Capped speed. Now, if you could get magic every level from here on out, pretty please?

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Oki-dokey, we're good for now. Let's hope we stay that way.

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Nice. Thank you, Roy, for being the best bolting dodger this side of Elibe.

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And that's it. Let's have another round of the same.

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The Sage's silence and Windham's berserk staff have both ran out of fuel. And soon, so shall the other Sage's bolting tome.

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Like so. Sue, you may return to us.

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Let's celebrate everybody's survival (Saul, would you mind pushing that corpse out of sight? Thank you...) with a round of healing! It's on me, guys!

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And now, let's split up. I made a mistake with one of these groups. With all the information you have at hand, can you spot which one and what is the aforementioned crippling flaw?

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A Paladin advances towards us and Lilina is hit by the arrows. Aside from that, nothing of note happens.

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Realising the eastern group is a little undermanned, I send Tate over to reinforce them. Dougy will suffice for the other team's non-magical necessities.

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See?

Okay, no, you can't see because I'm great at this LPing shtick, but that's a double tink right there.

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Dougy still felt the need to dodge. I really dig his palette. It looks pretty badass. GBA Generals in general (hoh hoh) are pretty good. It's the animation. Say what you will about Generals, but the way they don't hit people with their weapons, but instead throw the damned things into the enemy's faces is absolutely hilarious and I love it. If only it meant they had permanent 2-range, that would make Generals more viable.

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Hugh, wave your enemy goodbye! That's it, just like that!

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And that should be it. As usual, Marcus will take the initiative and lead the charge. For Lycia!

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Marcus can go toe-to-toe with a fellow Paladin just fine. In chapter 16x. Will he ever cease to amaze? I, for one, hope not.

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Other than that, nothing very remarkable happens, aside from Igrene being a good prepromote. She'll be an even better one once she and Dougy hang out for 100 turns!

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Hah! Perfect! Absolutely magnificent! Windham is usually decent at avoiding situations like these, but I guess the idea of hitting Marcus was just too tempting for him to pass. Even if it meant hitting two of his own troops.

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He'll pay dearly for his mistake... later. For now, let's have Dougy and co. kill an Archer and wound a Paladin. More than doing damage (he'd have a better chance just using the lance for better accuracy), I want Dougy to take as little damage from the Paladin as possible, since he obviously doubles his slow, 8-speed ass.

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Nice! She can now use physic! If only I had another physic. FE6 may hand over the first physic staff very early on, but then it just refuses to let go of the rest.

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The Eastern team does about as well as the Western one. Better, actually, because all the slowpokes are in the Western team. Enjoy being on top while the Western Reapers aren't here, Easterns.

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Yes, Hugh is frontlining. No, it's not a bad idea, I made lots of math before approving this move.

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Oh, please. But that at least means he can't heal the Paladin or anything truly annoying like that.

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Good. Well done, Hugh.

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Ah, shit. See, my problem with this chapter is that I keep forgetting to take the Asshole Arrows into account. In a normal chapter, that would've been a perfectly safe move, but here, had he gotten hit, we'd be looking at a not-quite-insignificant chance of losing Hugh. And by the time I actually get used to the damned arrows, the chapter's over! It's like everyone has 10 less HP for one chapter!

Still, thank you for making up for my lack of tactical genius with luck, Hugh.

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Ah, nice. The Sage crit animation has always been one of my favourites. It just looks so amazing. It's a little weird in FE6 because there's no sound (same goes for the Druid crit), but it still looks cool.

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Oh, dear. Get thinking, Hugh, you'll need to figure out an explanation for why you're not going to be giving Cecilia her thunder tome back.

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Bwahah! Nicely done, Windy!

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I don't understand, why did I screencap the Paladin's stats? To show that he could double Dougy? That's obvious, at this point anything doubles Dougy.

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Speaking of whom, Dougy kills a man.

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That's it for the Western team.

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As for the Eastern one... no, I don't actually do this.

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Sue kills a man. Let's see if we can get her to level 20 before the chapter ends. Tate is at 90, so she won't need much, but Sue still needs a kill or two before she gets there.

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Oki-dokey, bring it on, traitors to the church!

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Hey! H-Hey, I said bring it on! Where are you going?

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Ah, I see.

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Argh! No! Lilina!

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Oh, thank God, the asshat couldn't reach her. That was a cl--

Wait...

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But he could reach her! What the hell happened? Why go after Dougy?

Maybe, thanks to the angelic robe, he couldn't quite kill her, so in order not to die, he went after the good General?

Probably, that's it. I'm glad I sold Gonzo's promotion to get Lilina not to die.

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Time to die, fools!

DoB8gTP.png2MCYizk.pngX6f35cF.png

There we go. There's noone else who can kill anyone as of this moment.

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Roy's Bois have a couple of vulneraries. Let's put them to good use.

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Ride forth, Marcus! Fight the enemy!

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Holy shit! Literally!

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I swear, Dougy, if you get doubled by a guy with a siege tome... who thought giving purge tomes 8 weight was a good idea?!

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Okay, he didn't die. Good. It'd be a real shame if I didn't get to use Douglas, eh, Dayni?

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I'm... actually not sure how I'm going to handle that guy. The only rider we got is Cecilia, and she can't do anything against a Bishop.

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Tate levels up. Let it be a good one.

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You didn't let it be a good one, thank you very much.

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Sue doesn't make it yet. Oh, well, there's plenty of enemies left.

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Let us hope for the best.

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The best comes to pass, on cue.

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Man, am I great at taking screenshots of the Heavenly Arrows or what? You can see a tiny bit of one in the middle picture!

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Fall to the might of Arcadia's guardian!

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I still don't know what I'm going to do to catch up to that asshole. I'll probably end up just waiting him out. No sense in advancing further, lest we risk entering the bolting Mage's range.

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I also have to think what to do with this other asshole. It shouldn't be as much of an issue, because this team has Marcus, but I'd rather feed the kill to Sue if I can.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! USE YOUR DAMNED SIEGE TOME!

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Like your friend over in the rightmost part of the tower!

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Oh, God, no... the arrows... the arrows are going to kill Dougy! NO! NO! DON'T! HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH BLOOD YET, CHAPTER 16x!?

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Aungh!

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...oooofff... we're all alive.

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You're going to pay for your insolence!

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Perish!

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Hang in there, Dougy. You may not die yet. The king has suffered enough, has he not? And besides, you vowed not to leave your king's side, under no circumstances, ever, no matter what, until the end of times and beyond, despite all the hardships you may endure as a result, NEVER EVER FOR EVER NEVER.

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Here's the plan: Sue will die if I let her, so let's not let her. Stand back and watch, girl, the others will take care of this.

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Hey, if nothing else, Roy can claim to be the best siege bait. He's great at dodging them.

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That wasn't a crit. I just got lucky and caught a somewhat interesting Bishop frame, for once.

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It's always so good when this happens.

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Oh, unbelievable...

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Marcus and Tate will form a barrier to let Sue move further a little.

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Great effort, Sue.

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As for these guys, they're just moving forward. I've been counting squares, and I think Lilina's standing right on the edge of the bolting Mage. That one, I actually do want to wait out.

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Ah, nice. I think it's nice. It all depends on whether or not we'll be able to reach him next turn,

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Very well. These guys will be staying put for now.

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Just imagine what would've happened if this happened when Dougy had just been attacked by the Bishop... shudders.

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Fortunately for the continued updating of this thread, though, Dougy lived, so let's all celebrate by lifting sticks towards the sky.

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There isn't much else to do right now. I'm just hoping the Bishop reinforcements that I know will soon arrive don't arrive just yet.

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Sadly, I'm forced to give this kill to Tate. Mainly because I want to move forward already.

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Tate clearly disagrees with my decision.

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She's too fast, however, and can't stop herself. Sorry, Tate. It's not like Bishops are worth much.

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Uh... interesting? I guess? Why does this exist?

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I know for a fact that these guys don't ever move, but seeing this still makes me extremely nervous. Especially since I didn't give her the Delphi shield, as I should've.

XsjBpMr.pngzeXHANO.pngVFlunOS.png

Marcus joins Lilina in her quest to outlast the Mages' bolting tomes.

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He is soon replaced by Saul, as he runs back and takes Roy's vulnerary to partially heal the wounds he sustained.

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Meanwhile, below Roy's Bois, Sue rushes forward to join them now that the nasty purge Bishop can't do her wrong.

nmUbTVA.png

Ah, bollocks in carbonara sauce, fuck my life! There's the stupid Bishop.

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Sigh here we go again...

ILb82O7.pngXuIH08N.png

At least this goes well.

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Here's the guy's inventory. I can't even feed him to Dougy, because he'd make short work of our favourite(?) General with tha lightning tome.

cTHrmaT.pngC7VjxST.png

Lilina, begin to take him down.

U8Ref1X.pngAmIWkQj.png

Everyone else may do nothing at all.

4IjhcRX.png

Son of a-- how dare you?! Fight fair!

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Ah-ha! You've been foiled, fool!

n5zTjNk.pngC3kcVfC.png

The bolting Mage switches targets to Cecilia. Fine. She can take it too.

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Lilina levels up, everybody.

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Excellent. All she wants, sans defense. Not that I expect her to ever get defense. Although, considering how Yumina turned out last time...

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Poor Hugh. The readers keep shitting on him, I early promoted him, and he's spent half of his screentime thus far being silenced. At this rate, he's going to be the one ending up with a really bad headache on his back.

fEbdYM8.png

And again!

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Oh, how dare you?!

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Pfahahahah... Jesus, let him catch a breather.

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Eh, at least we get to see Saul's sprite without the staff.

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Not that that's a very good thing, mind you. The staff is an important part of this sprite's charm.

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Aha, perfect. At least Hugh won't have to take any more blasts.

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He'll have to endure the pain for a little longer, though. I can't heal him just yet.

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In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have attacked this guy with Lilina. It just means he's going to kill himself fighting her, now that his silence staff is broken.

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Saul, with Cecilia far away from him, can only wait for the spell to wear out.

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Hugh or Dougy could've used the experience, but alas, 'twas not to be.

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Of course, attack him now, will you? Now that you've screwed him over, try to cleanse his soul with a blast of radiant light. Well, no. Saul's soul is beond cleansing.

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Okay, time to take on the Sniper. Some healing first, because I like experience and having my units always topped off.

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Obviously, Dougy's going to be the one.

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As for the team without Dougy...

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Jeigan level! Hype! Hype! Hype!

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You know what? I'm fine with this. It's not godly, but it's perfectly adequate. You can't ever have too much defense.

Also, that's another stat that's gone beyond what the average Marcus ever reaches. HP, speed, and defense are all above his level 20 averages now. Holy fuck.

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Sue, too, levels up.

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The silencer Sage advances to attack us. I opt not to acknowlede what just happened.

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Dougy begins working on the Sniper, with Igrene's assistance.

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Sage down! Dorothy shall soon level up! Let us wish her luck.

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Aside from that, Dorothy's just enjoying Saul being mute while it lasts.

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Igrene somehow manages to grab one of the Heavenly Arrows while it's falling, shooting it into the Sniper instead. It still does 10 damage, but it's more epic that way.

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Hey, defense is always fine, even for Snipers. Still better than Sue's.

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I can't wait to leave this chapter behind.

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Dougy, please. I'd like to be done today. Read, the same day I started to play the chapter.

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Whatever the case, Dougy shall face the Sniper on his own. He'll have more chances to build up his support with Igrene in future chapters.

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Much better. Another two turns, and this will be over.

...no, wait a minute, this isn't supposed to be here.

So, you see, I spent ten minutes making this:

Quote

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Sure enough, one turn later, Dougy hits him again, leaving him at one HP.

Yes, I did forget to take a screencap of that. Yes, there was an easier solution than this. But where's the fun in that?

Buuut guess what. I later chcked things out and that was, indeed, supposed to be there. I just took the screenshot at the precise time so that Dougy was stabbing the Sniper, but his numbers hadn't begun to go down yet, leading to great confusion.

Amazing. I could just erase everything and correct my mistake, but hey, I made that piece of shit, I want you guys to see it.

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Wait, he moves? Isn't he supposed to be completely stationary?

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Maybe his AI was set to go get healed after Dougy mauled him down to 1 HP?

No, that's not right... he wouldn't have attacked Lilina if that was the case...

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AH! WHAT THE FUCK!? EVERYONE'S MOVING ALL OF SUDDEN!

Oh, no, don't tell me...

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No... no, don't you dare... nooooo! Halt! Stop! Cease and desist! Return to your post, soldier! That's an order... from above!

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DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'T!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued.

Death count: Bors
                        Wolt
                        Deke
                        Lugh

                        Rutger
                        Noah
                        Clarine
                        Lance
                        Jerrot
                       
Fir
                        Wendy
                        Og
ier
                        Treck
                        Barth
                       
Bartre
                       
Elen
                        Echidna
                        Cath
                        Sophia
                       
Raigh
                       
Zeiss

*Discharged

*Retreated after being wounded

*Only dead in route B

*Only dead in route A

*???

Reset count (Roy's death): 5

Dishonorable reset count (other reasons): 2

Merlinus death count: 8

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