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Feedback for The History of Idos O'Connell.

TLSothe

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TLSothe Newbie

TLSothe

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You would think that super intelligent humans and cyborgs from the future would not talk like stupid teenagers. And oh look, in reality forum member inserted characters are no different from the all the other stories with them in: bland cardboard cut out characters who do nothing but say "fuck" all the time (which again, intelligent people would not do, they would have more manners you know).

And do not use that "Oh this is one of my longer projects" to make it look like you actually put some effort and concentrated thinking into this... I doubt you even did any research into anything, and it does not look like you did any good proof reading since I can spot some basic grammar errors. If this is your idea of good effort, then...

Alright pain in the ass, I'm ready.

One) I never said they were more mature, rather, I said they had a more expanded knowledge of Mathematics, Literature, Science, etc.

Two) A cyborg is the same as a human, but stronger, so I point you to #1.

Three) It isn't. I WROTE it at 15, and currently am RE-WRITING it, with new inspirations, and newer skills.

Four) *sigh..* Your fanfic is barely readable, yet you judge mine?

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Judge Judy Newbie

Judge Judy

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I posted this a while ago on FEU, but since you failed to give me an answer beyond your usual "shut the fuck up" reply, I will post it once more:

And now for some new comments:

1) I believe you have been told in the past on FEU about posting character profiles... do not do it! You should let your characters be revealed through the story itself.

2) Info dumps are bad. The world, just like characters should be revealed as the story moves. Read this: http://limyaael.livejournal.com/186438.html for more information.

P.S: If you respond by dismissing my comments (Like what you said to me on FEU) I should report it for retardedness.

My god...your mentally disturbed...I pity you...

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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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One) I never said they were more mature, rather, I said they had a more expanded knowledge of Mathematics, Literature, Science, etc.

Two) A cyborg is the same as a human, but stronger, so I point you to #1.

Well, I would expect people with an expanded knowledge to have a wider vocabulary than "fuck", as well as manners. At the end of the day, you do not have the intelligence to correctly portray super intelligent people.

Three) It isn't. I WROTE it at 15, and currently am RE-WRITING it, with new inspirations, and newer skills.

What skills?

Four) *sigh..* Your fanfic is barely readable, yet you judge mine?

Well, no one intelligent has claimed to have any problems reading it. And if you had actually read my word, you would see that it is not a fanfic.

My god...your mentally disturbed...I pity you...

I very much doubt you can give a proper explanation as to why I am "mentally disturbed" for trying to give someone a few pointers and my opinion. I should report you for making such a pointless comment; but since I pity you uneducated animals, I'll be nice. Unless you have something useful to add, keep your tongue behind your teeth.

Good grief, do you people live on fallacies or something?

Edited by Shuuda
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Judge Judy Newbie

Judge Judy

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@Shuuda

Since when you came to this forum, everyone has treated you kindly. You critiqued alot of the members stories. Yes its fine to do that, but atleast try to do it in a polite way...and not make yourself sound like a jerk. Members would have respected you more, if you didn't sound like a jerk.

Gohead and report me. I too doubt you can give a proper explanation to why I am ''uneducated animal.'' It just shows what you think of some of the members here at this forum.

Its time you should keep that gob of yours shut, if you don't have anything polite to say...but I highly doubt this. I think you have a serious medical condition, verbal diarrhoea. You just can't restrain yourself from saying stupid things.

Get yourself re-educated. I guess no one has ever taught you manners. IRL a good beating should slap some sense into you. I do wonder why I am wasting my time with this snobbish git.

O yeah, I think your mentally disturbed cus I get a feeling your a drag queen :lol:

Edited by Luxord
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Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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Since when you came to this forum, everyone has treated you kindly. You critiqued alot of the members stories. Yes its fine to do that, but atleast try to do it in a polite way...and not make yourself sound like a jerk.

Not quite what I remember. I recall politely criticising in the past, and then being told "Shut up newbie" and similar comments. Before I can to this forum, I doubt you had any idea of what criticisms even looked like. Heck, I was more than polite back then.

I too doubt you can give a proper explanation to why I am ''uneducated animal.''

The explanation is that you came into a topic and posted something that added nothing but yet anyone attack on my perfectly reasonable critique that broke no rules whatsoever. Showing your own lack of manners.

I would respond to the rest of that post, but why would I need to: since all you have done is make some attacks which in fact, have absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Shuuda you know this isn't going to stop until one of you stops posting in the thread. Might as well be you, right? This is the second time I have seen this argument and it's getting pretty old.

This is good advice. I will stop posting, since you people clearly have nothing for any value to say back.

P.S: For your information, I am very beautiful in drag.

Edited by Shuuda
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  • 3 weeks later...
Shuuda Newbie

Shuuda

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Well okay, since I have yet to mention it, I may as well give you another little gem:

Character profiles are all well and good in helping you remember things about your characters. But please remember that they are for you to use and you alone. Posting them in your introduction is a very half arsed of introducing characters and showing their relationships. You may also be are giving readers information about the characters that may be totally irrelevant to the story.

And worst of all: you are tell readers about your characters. You should show the readers what the character is like. If Jessica dislike Idos, do not just introduce that fact in some crappy profile, show it in the god damn story, that's what the readers came for (they do not want to reader boring profiles, that is for sure).

Edited by Shuuda
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Lord Glenn Newbie

Lord Glenn

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Savage Wolf Fury

sorry matt just wanted to post and I was currently here

And...? Posting just for the hell of posting (especially in a non-FFtF board) is spam. I suggest that you try to curb that urge.

Edited by Lord Glenn
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