Dcat's Xenoblade Drabbles

[Dragoncat]

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These are AU drabbles, written before I finished the game (I still haven't). The game has dropped some bombshells on me and now some stuff in here doesn't fit canon. That being:

Spoiler

Fiora being revived, I assumed she was gone for good

Try not to spoil anything you think I wouldn't know in your feedback. Constructive criticism is okay. But I'd highly prefer if you don't say "this is bad, that's bad, kthxbai", tell me what's good about it too, or if something made you lol or reminded you of something, etc.

Mainly Reyn, but other playables do appear and have roles, along with necessary OCs. I'm in the process of adding one more drabble, but for now, enjoy these. PM me for the smut in Wild Hearts. Eclipse told me to handle it that way. Without the smut, it's PG 13/T rated. These are posted in the order they take place instead of the order I wrote them for your convenience.

We start with: Wild Hearts, kind of a romance story. Part three is a meme from Deviant Art known as the pregnancy meme, where I filled out the prompts.

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Sometimes it sucked being a woman who was built more like a man. Gamma felt out of place in the women’s barracks when she took notice of how she kind of towered over the others. Her strength and size made her an effective soldier, one who could give the men a run for their money, so it was fine...but there were a few female soldiers who loved picking on her. “You’re in the wrong barracks, sir!” And they’d scream like a man just walked in on them changing clothes. They claimed they were “joking”, but Gamma wasn’t laughing.

She had curves in all the right places so she wasn’t mistaken for a male anymore like she had been growing up. She was just a bit of an overgrown female. The colonel had called for her this morning, not to nitpick or rage as usual, but to tell her to do sparring sessions with the men because they’d be closer to her strength level. He’d set up a match without her permission. He really wanted to see how well she’d do against “Reyn the Wild”. That guy had gone from a backup troop, to disappearing completely for a year on a big epic quest, to being a defense force regular. Everybody knew him as the right hand man to Shulk the Monado wielder. Shulk himself rarely showed up, despite knowing he was perfectly welcome. Gamma had met him before though. Good guy. Humble, wasn’t one to brag about his status, a little shy and quiet. She was slightly taller than him. Of course, she even tended to be that way with some of the male soldiers. For a “hero”, anyone would think he’d have more bulk and size to him. 

Colonel Vangarre insisted that Gamma was going to spar with Reyn. And when Vangarre said he insisted, he meant “this WILL happen or else.” So she really had no choice. Here she was in the arena with a wooden spear instead of her usual sharp dangerous metal one, and a wooden shield as well. Her opponent was there with a practice gunlance, making comments like “They should make these with rubber bullets already! It’s not a GUNlance if you can’t shoot it!” He was talking to two people seated on the side of the arena. Gamma recognized Shulk’s blond head, he stood out against the dark colored wall behind him. The other man, on the other hand, was effectively camouflaged at first, his hair was nearly the same color as the wall and he was wearing black. Dunban, the Hero of Sword Valley, first wielder of the Monado but not the rightful one. His right arm had been injured to the point that he had to become a southpaw. Apparently it was because the Monado burned him. That thing was quite crazy.

“I still can’t believe Old Squarestache is putting me in the arena with a woman.” Reyn said. “Senile old fart.”

“This woman took out that raging bull armu last month by herself.”

“I know, Dunban, but still! Hitting a woman just seems WRONG to me.”

“Ahem!” Gamma was right behind Reyn now, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard her. She stared him down and he had the stupidest look on his face for a few seconds looking back at her, then he fidgeted with the wooden gunlance.

“Both the maggots are here! Great!” Colonel Vangarre was fashionably late and he had a bottle of beer in his hand. “As usual, the winner is either the first one to draw blood or the first to knock the other down for more than ten seconds. This should be entertaining!” Shulk opened his mouth and then closed it, like he had a comment but decided not to say it. Unfortunately Vangarre noticed. “If you have something to say, spit it out!”

“I just…think you’re too excited to watch two of your strongest troops fight. They could get hurt.”

Vangarre laughed. His laugh was loud and boisterous. “They’ll be fine, what the hell do you think? You think I’m making them fight to the death? They have wooden weapons! It’ll be good practice! Honestly, boy, if you were one of my troops, you’d be running laps and doing pushups for that.”

“For stating the truth?”

“Oh, definitely for that comment! Where’s that aggressive fearless mechon slayer, eh? Grow a pair, boy! GROW A PAIR!” 

Shulk was speechless. “It’s fine.” Reyn assured him. “Nobody ever gets hurt too bad. Worst I’ve seen is somebody got a tooth knocked out. His mouth was bleeding for weeks, but he’s fine now.” He turned to face his opponent, and she noticed his eye color for the first time. Deep brown. He was making eye contact with a blank expression.

Gamma nodded at him. “Don’t go easy on me because I’m a woman. I hate it when guys do that.” She pointed the practice spear at him. “Let’s see what ‘Reyn the Wild’ can do. Charge me!”

The three others scattered as Reyn charged Gamma and plowed into her with the wooden gunlance. She blocked his slash with her shield, made a quick turn, and positioned herself behind him and whacked him in the upper back with the spear. It nearly knocked the wind out of him. That’s a Shulk technique! Has she watched him fight or something?

Once he had a good enough footing, he did a spin move with the blade pointing outward, and the blow was enough to make her stagger and twist her ankle. Wincing, she stepped back and charged him with her weapon, aiming her stab for his belly, but he moved suddenly and the wooden spear hit between his legs instead. He yelped.

“Bahaha!” Vangarre let out a burst of laughter. “The ol’ crotch hit! Classic!”

“Is that even allowed?” Dunban asked.

The old colonel smirked. “Anything goes! The lady soldiers do that sometimes and it IS effective.”

Reyn’s head was spinning from the sharp pain in his groin, but he still saw the opening provided by Gamma’s confusion. Like she hadn’t expected him to yelp, but he had no idea why she wouldn’t think that would hurt. He slashed at her and hit her in the belly. Getting more confident now, he lined up for another attack, and she dodged, he kept charging, and she tripped him with the spear and he landed with his face in the dirt. The wooden gunlance landed on the back of his head with an audible smack.

“Ten!” Vangarre began counting down. “Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!” Reyn sat up and winced. “Five! Four! Thre-” And then he saw Reyn’s bloody nose. “We have blood! And a winner!”

----

The men’s barracks were in an uproar. Reyn the Wild, best bro to the heroic Monado wielder Shulk and close to the first mechon slayer Dunban as well, had been beaten by a woman in a sparring match. He was never going to live this one down. It was going to be like the High Entia Tomb’s booby trap button all over again. Sharla still brought it up every time she saw him. Last time she had been eight months pregnant, but that clearly didn’t stop her sass. According to the grapevine she had given birth to a baby girl about a week ago, and Gadolt couldn’t be any more of a proud papa. All of Colony 6 was overjoyed at that fresh new life for sure. The first birth in the rebuilt colony, had to be special.

His nose could’ve been worse, but it still hurt and he still had gauze up both nostrils for half a day and he was breathing through his mouth until the bleeding stopped. His manhood on the other hand was fine, but damn, did it hurt before. He’d escaped with his pride, but just barely. 

He was sitting just outside the military district when Dunban approached him. “Reyn. I know you went easy on Gamma yesterday, and I know there has to be a reason.” Awkward pause. “I can give you advice on how to talk to her, you know.”

Reyn raised his head with a shocked look on his face. “I saw it in your face when you looked at her.” Dunban continued. “It reminded me of how Shulk used to look at Fiora, only maybe a bit more subtle, but still there.”

“Nothing escapes you, does it?” Reyn sighed. “I do think she’s rather hot, yeah...I could get lost in those big green eyes of hers, and her rack ain’t bad either. I mean...yeah, Sharla’s a babe, but I knew she was taken from the get go. And she’s a cave and a big plains area away anyway…”

Dunban smiled in understanding. “I think you have a chance with Gamma. I know what you mean about getting lost in a woman’s eyes. I still get lost in Alexa’s hazel ones.”

“She was all over you that day she showed up and said she thought you’d died.”

“She was all over me that night too, believe me...why do you think I proposed to her the very next day? And I thought the night of passion right before the first war was amazing…” 

Reyn gave Dunban a blank stare. “Night of passion? Dunban, you…”

“Made love to her, yes. Once before the first war and once when we were reunited. We’re abstaining from that until our wedding night now. It’s only proper.”

“...Okay. Yeah, whatever advice you have, I’ll take it.”

“Well you can start by joining whatever conversation that’s going on, or if she’s by herself, small talk. Don’t overstep your boundaries. Just be friendly, but not too friendly. Alexa actually made the first big move in my case...she flat out just told me how handsome she thought I was and it advanced from there. Watch her body language, you’ll be able to tell when she’s comfortable enough around you that you can make a move. If she doesn’t first, that is.”

Reyn thanked Dunban and decided he better find Gamma ASAP, before he forgot the advice.

----

Gamma was in the cafeteria, sitting at one of the tables by herself. Reyn blinked when he saw her. She’s by herself and she looks down...fantastic...how do I handle this? 

A pair of soldiers, both women, addressed her from a nearby table. “Hey Gamma, I just noticed, you’re almost the size of Reyn!” One said. The other smirked and added: “I heard you took him out with a wooden spear to the nuts yesterday! That’s hilarious, what were you trying to do, castrate him?”

“That hurt for sure, but it was the knockdown and bloody nose that gave her the win.” Reyn bristled slightly and put his plate of food down. Gamma looked up at him, then turned to the two other women. “I wasn’t trying to hit him there. I was aiming for his belly but he moved.”

“Woah, you DIDN’T do it on purpose?”

She turned to him and shrugged. “No, I didn’t. I know, the colonel’s saying I’m not afraid to fight dirty and how awesome he thinks it is, but you can trust me on this one. I’ll fight dirty, but I’d rather be fair in sparring matches.” Brief pause. “Your nose stopped bleeding I see. And I hope I didn’t leave too big of a mark...elsewhere.”

“You didn’t, but it sure felt like it for a bit.” Reyn sat down. 

Gamma blinked. “Aren’t you going to eat with the guys?”

Reyn’s mind raced. Shit! Gotta think of something! Dunban said small talk… “I just thought you’d be interested in what I saw at the lake the other day. There were two flamiis fighting over a piece of bread. Neither one of them was giving in. Until the bread broke in half. And then they each took half and flew off.”

“I saw a flamii eating bugs off a brog’s back once.” She took a bite of her food, chewed and swallowed, and added: “And I saw a vang and a bunnit fighting over a potato chip. The bunnit won, but it must’ve not liked the taste, because it spit it out and ran away.”

They continued to talk about monsters for a bit, then Reyn started telling adventure stories about the second mechon onslaught. Apparently the bunnits were more dangerous, even vicious, in Satorl Marsh. Gamma blinked at that. “You are so full of shit it’s coming out of your ears. Explains why your eyes are brown.”

“I’m serious, ask Shulk or Dunban if you don’t believe me, they’ll tell you the same thing. The place gives off a soft glow at night too. Again, if you don’t believe me, ask Shulk or Dunban.”

“I find the second thing easier to believe.”

“There’s also fire and electricity breathing raptors in Makna Forest.”

“I think I heard of those. And aren’t there also brogs the size of armored tanks?”

“You better believe it, sister!” Reyn smirked, hoping she’d find it endearing. She’d already noticed his eye color, but had she noticed his strong jawline and smile oozing with self proclaimed coolness? He thought he wasn’t a bad looking guy, but...the ladies were the final judge.

She smiled back at him. His stomach did a flip flop, and he was sure it wasn’t because the food wasn’t settling right. I sure hope I’m doing this right...damn, she’s hot, but I gotta be smooth and take it slow.

“Well this has been an interesting conversation.” Gamma had cleared her plate and was getting up to put it away. She turned back to him before she did. “I wouldn’t mind hearing more of those stories. And if you want a rematch without Squarestache breathing down our necks, I wouldn’t mind that either.” She paused to make eye contact for a second. “Oh and...thanks for the company just now. Those girls, all they do is tease me about my tallness. It was nice to talk to someone who doesn’t for a change.”

“Seriously? People tease about tallness?”

She nodded. “They do. People will tease about just about anything.” And then she walked away. She was even attractive from the back.

That went well enough. Keep this up, and before I know it, it’ll be Reyn time, baby. Hard to believe Dunban’s already scored twice...I thought he was too proper for premarital sex…

Let’s just wait and see how this goes.

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Makna Forest was...an interesting spot for a wedding. But Gamma had insisted on traveling. Gaur Plains wasn’t “exotic” enough, Satorl Marsh was too dangerous (even though there hadn’t been killer bunnits in a long time), and Valak Mountains was too cold. She’d wanted to make reservations in the high entia imperial city Alcamoth, but they wanted nearly three times as much as Reyn spent on the engagement ring. Something told him they wouldn’t charge Shulk nearly that much if it was him. Shulk had been Reyn’s best man of course. He looked like he was missing Fiora more than ever now, it was kind of sad.

But it worked out well enough, having the ceremony in Makna Forest. The nopon villagers would always be welcoming to someone who helped their “heropon” kill the “dinobeast”. To them, Shulk and Reyn were equals. A familiar orange nopon approached Reyn and Gamma with a pink nopon behind him. “Hom hom friend! So happy! Riki been wondering about how hom hom friends were doing! To see one of them with a new wifeyhom, happy happy!”

Reyn smiled. “I wondered about you sometimes too, furball!”

“She big for a female!” The pink nopon commented.

Riki turned to his wife. “Oka, all hom homs are bigger than nopon. Female hom homs are usually small though. But Reyn big male! He need big female for wifeyhom!” Before either Reyn or Gamma could respond, the little orange creature turned back and addressed Gamma. “You not marry most clever male, but he’s a strong one and has good heart.”

Gamma smiled. “Pretty much the truth. So...you’re Heropon Riki?”

“I am!” Riki bounced up and down.

“Dadapon! Mamapon! Taka hit me!” A little yellow nopon yelled from the other picnic table. Two large picnic tables had been set up, one for the nopon villagers and one for the visiting wedding party.

“Because Koku take Taka’s mushroom off plate!” Another young nopon, this one pink like Oka, yelled.

“Ugh, sorry friends.” Riki hung his head. “Got to break up fight between littlepons. Riki suggest Reyn and Gamma prepare for that themselves, if littlehoms are anything like littlepons. Come on, Oka.”

Gamma watched the nopon couple leave. “Nopon really have a unique way of speaking, don’t they?”

“They do, yeah.” Reyn took another bite. “Mmm! This is delicious! I’ll have to ask what kind of seasonings they use!”

“...Reyn, Riki mentioned ‘littlehoms’. I realized we never really talked about how many kids we want, or when we want them.”

Reyn gave Gamma a blank stare. “I’m not one to plan ahead that much. I wouldn’t mind one or two though...I guess just...when it happens, it happens?”

“Want to see if we get a honeymoon baby?”

Reyn nearly choked on his drink and started coughing. Gamma’s eyes widened. “Oh great Bionis! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Reyn cleared his throat and coughed once more. “That question just caught me off guard, that’s all.”

“Come on, you know you were planning on that tonight. I was afraid if that kiss lasted any longer at the altar, you’d be ripping that dress right off me!”

He smiled awkwardly at her. “You’re right. I was planning on it...maybe not the honeymoon baby, but I wouldn’t be mad if it happened either.” And then he glanced at the nopon table. “Should I ask Riki where the most romantic spot in the village is?”

“It’d probably be somewhere only nopon can fit into.” Gamma pointed out. “We’ll have to go outside the village.”

A tiny homs girl toddled up to Reyn and pulled on his hand, then let out a frightened squeak when he looked down at her and she saw she had the wrong person. He smiled. “Sorry to scare you, Joan! I believe your daddy’s over there.” And he pointed her in the direction of Gadolt. She turned and ran toward him, and he picked her up and put her on his lap. Joan looked just like her mother, Sharla, with black hair and dark brown eyes. Gadolt was blond with dark blue eyes. He and Reyn both had a good amount of bulk and tallness, so it wasn’t surprising that the little girl had made that mistake.

Gamma had a big smile on her face. “That right there, that proves you’ll be a great father. But let’s focus on enjoying sex first.”

“Yeah.” Reyn smiled back. “I think I might have just the place…”

He led her to a lake shore. She looked at the sandy ground. “Now I completely understand why you brought those blankets. But did you see Dunban’s face? He totally knows the reason we left. The armful of blankets was probably a dead giveaway.”

“Yeah, Dunban knows everything.” Reyn started placing the blankets on the ground. “Almost like, Shulk had future sight, Dunban might have mind reading. But I doubt it. It just seems that way.”

“HAD future sight?”

“He might still have it, but he hasn’t had any visions in years. Or at least not ones that he feels are important enough to tell me about.” Reyn sat down on the blankets and put on his best seductive grin. He’d taken some of the tux he’d worn for the ceremony off already, the jacket and tie was off, but the rest was still there. Gamma had changed out of the dress immediately afterward, and was in a blouse and a pair of formal shorts. She sat beside him and nuzzled his cheek for a few seconds before starting a kiss on the lips.

Smut starts here but has been removed according to forum rules. PM me for full version. Ask for "Wild Hearts smut".

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Choose two characters who would like to be a couple. What franchise are they from?
Reyn (canon character) and Gamma (OC), Xenoblade Chronicles.

How did the couple react when the mother finds out that she was pregnant?
Colony 6 was finally back on its feet! It had been completely ravaged three years ago by the mechon, but thanks to hard work and dedication, the survivors had managed to rebuild. Today was the first joint monster hunt between the Colony 6 and Colony 9 defense forces since. 

Vangarre’s health was declining, and the Colony 6 colonel Otharon was getting frail in his old age as well, but both colonels were stubborn. They’d probably both keep it up until they dropped dead. Hopefully they’d announce successors before then!

Reyn had heard his old companion Sharla was home with a sick two year old. Her absence meant that there was one less medic. Not that big of a deal, but he wondered if she was at all annoyed that this was the first joint mission since the rebuilding and she was missing it.

A tall blond man sat down beside him. “Reyn the Wild, eh? Right hand man to the Monado wielder?”

Reyn blinked and turned to the man who had spoken to him. “That’s me. You’re ‘Sharpshooter’ Gadolt, I know that. I know you know I traveled with your wife.”

Gadolt smiled and nodded. “She tells me you’re quite the kooky character, but that you reminded her of me sometimes.”

It was morning break at the camp in Gaur Plains, and everyone normally took this time to eat a snack. Gadolt had a chocolate bar with peanuts in it. He took a bite out of it, chewed, and swallowed with a blissful look on his face. “I tell you what. Live on bread and water for four months, and you really appreciate the flavor of your favorite snack even more.”

“Yeah, I remember when we broke you out of that mechon fortress. I’ll be honest with you, the way Sharla looked at you, I thought Shulk was going to have to tell you two to get a room!” Reyn smirked. Gadolt had been a prisoner of war, taken during the attack on Colony 6. Nobody really knew why the mechon had kept him alive, but the general theory was that they planned on using him as a bargaining tool of some sort.

“Heh.” Gadolt shrugged. “I couldn’t wait for her to come home with me so we could have our wedding and consummate it. She’s really great. I can tell our little girl is going to be just like her mother.”

Reyn nodded and took a bite out of his jerky stick. “I heard Joan’s got the flu and Sharla’s home with her. Like, the puking flu, or the flu flu?”

“Puking flu. Poor little thing. Shouldn’t be too contagious, Sharla said. Just have to let the virus run its course, and try to keep her hydrated. She didn’t understand why Daddy had to go to work if Mommy didn’t. Broke my heart.”

Before Reyn could respond, Gamma approached and nearly sat right on his lap. Reyn blinked. “Um, babe? I don’t think there’s any more room on this boulder.”

Gamma said nothing, just shoved a small object in his face while grinning from ear to ear. It took Reyn a second to figure out what it was. A positive pregnancy test! His jaw dropped.

“Wow, I wish Sharla was that obvious! All she did was tell me a bunnit died.” Gadolt commented. “I wondered what was so exciting about that. And then she called me dense and explained herself.”

“Babe...that’s…” Reyn stammered.

“Awesome? Exciting? Amazing?” Gamma nuzzled her husband’s cheek.

“All three, I guess.” Reyn nuzzled back. “But, babe...your duties in the defense force…”

“Already taken care of.” Gamma explained. “I’ll still patrol and do drills for five months, and then YOU will be doing overtime, and then you’ll have some paternity leave, but don’t know how much or whether it will be paid or not.”

“Ugh, overtime? REALLY?”

“We get paid extra for overtime! We’ll need all the money we can get! Raising a baby isn’t cheap!” Gamma stood up and turned to Gadolt. “Back me up here! I know you’re a parent!”

“She’s right.” Gadolt chuckled. “I took overtime, willingly. Trust me. You will need the extra cash. Otharon was kind enough to give me paid paternity leave. If I were you, I’d suck up real good to Vangarre. Get him to do the same.” He paused and cuffed Reyn’s shoulder. “Congratulations, by the way!”

“Thanks.” Reyn smiled awkwardly. Holy shit, what on Bionis did I get myself into...

Morning sickness appeared! Mommy was about to throw up! What did the daddy do?
Never drink an estimated two liters of water within an hour, no matter how hot it is outside and how much you have to be out in it. Reyn learned that the hard way. After a morning of drill and a debriefing, his bladder felt like it was going to explode. He was finally able to have a bathroom break, but now the only bathroom in this side of the building was occupied. He had no choice but to pound on the door. “Whoever’s in there, please hurry! I drank way too much water this morning and I feel like I’m going to make a puddle on the floor!”

The door opened, and he blinked at who it was. Gamma looked sick. “Well, there went my breakfast. I know, you want me to slow down or get something for the morning sickness-” But he was already in there slamming the door behind him.

“You two are the most interesting couple ever. Or most prone to trouble.” A soldier with a curled, fancy hairstyle approached with a smirk on his face. “I’ll tell you a secret: I turned on the sprinklers outside, knowing he drank all that water. It did exactly what I wanted it to! He looked like he was going to literally piss himself the whole way in and I think he almost did in the debriefing!”

“You are so mean.”

“Sometimes you gotta make your own fun here.”

“No, really, that’s mean.” Gamma gave the man a glare. “I hope a bird shits on your stupid hairdo.” And then she walked away and left him there.

Mommy has weird cravings! What kind of food did she eat?
Reyn woke up to Gamma grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. His eyes shot open and he gave her a blank expression. She’d turned the light on in the room. “Finally!” Her tone was laced with exasperation. “Can you sleep through a fire alarm or what? I said your name three times!”

“I was having the weirdest ass dream. I was back in the mechon invasion three years ago, with the old gang, and we were making the trek up Valak Mountains, only we were all in our underwear! Sharla’s rifle overheated and we used it as a portable heater. Shulk and Melia were arguing over whose turn it was to use the rifle’s heat and she kept bonking him on the head with her staff and he was about to throw a punch when you woke me up.” Reyn paused to look at his wife’s face. She looked both horrified and confused. “Yeah, that’s my reaction! I...think Sharla looked exactly how you look in your underwear…”

Gamma’s eyes narrowed. “I’m hungry for a cheeseburger. A Mac Don’s one.”

“Well they are open 24/7.” Reyn glanced at the clock. “Damn. A cheeseburger craving at two in the morning? They must stay open all the time so pregnant ladies can satisfy their crazy cravings. See ya when you get back.” He rolled over and put his head back down, and Gamma sat on him and gave him a death glare.

“I didn’t say I was going to get it myself. You are going to get it for me.”

“UNNGGGGGH!”

“I said NOW!” Gamma started attacking Reyn’s shoulders and back with clenched fists.

“OW! Okay okay okay! Holy SHIT! Just let me up, woman! Sheesh!” She got off of him, still glaring in a manner that if looks could kill, he’d be dead. And then she curled back up in the covers like what just happened was completely normal and acceptable while he threw some clothes on over his boxers. And went outside the house. At two in the morning. To buy a cheeseburger at a fast food restaurant. She didn’t say if she wanted fries or not, but he wasn’t going to ask, so he got them anyway just in case.

She ate the cheeseburger and only two of the fries. He ate the rest despite not being that hungry.

Mommy had a lot of mood swings and hormones! How did daddy deal?
The Colony 9 commercial district was bustling as usual, with merchants yelling out their familiar sales pitches. “Ether lamps, twenty percent off!” “Get your weapons and armor here!” “Potatoes! Cucumbers! Corn! Tomatoes! All fresh from the farm!”

One merchant started his sales pitch and then stopped to greet a young friend. “Make your own ether gems here! Only in Colony-AH! REYN! How’s it going, buddy? How’s the wife and unborn kid?”

Reyn had been walking right past the Gem Man’s stall, but had to stop now. The Gem Man’s actual name was Garth. Reyn gave him a shrug and a small smile. “Decent, I guess. When she’s not demanding Mac Don’s at two in the morning.”

Garth chuckled. “They will do that. My wife had weird cravings in odd hours of the night and at the ass crack of dawn with both my boys.” Garth’s sons were ages eight and ten, good kids overall. “You still getting any use out of that portable gem forge?”

“Shulk has it. I told him he should rent it out because all it’s doing is collecting dust in his shed. He said he didn’t want to ruin your business.” Reyn said. “He’ll let me, Dunban, and Dickson use it, although Dickson just gets cylinders instead of gems out of it nine times out of ten and doesn’t seem to get how to run the thing properly in the first place. But you have no idea how helpful it was three years ago, and how much use it got! Best investment Shulk ever made.”

“I think Dickson’s getting dementia, honestly.” Garth frowned. “I talked to him yesterday and he all of a sudden went ‘hold it, where are my keys?’ and started poking around looking for them. They were around his neck. I had to point them out to him.” Brief pause. “Shulk’s probably concerned. He IS his adoptive father.”

“My mom’s getting that way too, unfortunately.” Reyn sighed. 

“REYN!” 

Garth blinked. “Here comes your wife, and she looks pissed.”

“You think?” Reyn muttered under his breath. Gamma was right in front of him now with a scowl on her face. “Vangarre didn’t give you a break to have a beer with the Gem Man!”

Indeed, Garth had a canned beverage that he was working on. Reyn gave Gamma a blank stare. “What are you talking about, babe? You know I follow the rules! No alcohol while on the clock, not even during break. Everybody knows that.”

“Liar! He was about to offer you one!” Gamma yelled in Reyn’s face and started punching him. He cowered and guarded his head with his arms. It only lasted for about a minute before she ran her fingers through his hair and gave him a cheesy grin. “Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in that uniform?”

“A few times, yeah.”

She patted his head. “Grrr, baby. If I didn’t already have a baby belly...I swear…” Garth was standing there with his jaw hanging open and his eyes widened. Gamma waved at him. “Oh, hi Garth. Gotta go, my checkup’s in ten minutes.” And then she walked away.

Reyn gave Garth a defeated look. “This is what I have to deal with. You get that, right?”

“My wife had mood swings, yeah, but yours just acts DRUNK!”

“I know, right?”

“She got it wrong too! This is soda! I don’t drink booze on the job!”

Reyn threw his arms up in an “I don’t know” gesture.

Daddy and mommy are going to have a conversation until mommy felt a first baby kick in her body. How do they react?
“Ugh, this one doesn’t fit either!” Gamma threw a set of torso armor down on the floor.

“None of your armor is going to fit.” Reyn was lounging in front of the TV nearby watching soccer. “Come on, you dumbass! Get the damn ball! It’s right there!”

“This really sucks, dear! What if there’s an attack or something and I can’t fit into my armor because I’m fat?”

“You’re not fat, you’re just...round and adorable. And if there’s an attack I’ll fight with the strength of ten men! Trust me, no enemy’s going to harm my wife, or my kid, on my watch!”

Gamma sat down beside Reyn on the couch. “I don’t want to feel useless though…” She frowned for a few seconds before perking up and smiling. “I think the baby just kicked!”

“Wow, really? Where?”

“Right here!” She guided his hand to a certain area on her belly. “I don’t know if he or she will do it again but-”

“I felt a kick! Active little thing, ain’t it? Or...he or she.”

Gamma smiled and glanced at the TV. “Your team’s winning I see.”

“They were losing just a second ago.” Reyn said. “And they’ve been losing all season. I think you’re a good luck charm! Can you sit here for every game from now on? At least for this season?”

“I’m NOT going to sit here and listen to you yell at the TV all soccer season.”

Reyn blinked. “Okay...I guess it’s back to the good luck charm I used last year.”

“Which would be?”

“Wearing my boxers printed with the team logo every day until the season’s over.”

Gamma made a grossed out face. “Every single day? Without washing them?”

“Hell no, it would wash the luck out! If they start to stink then I just spray air freshener on them, although that does sometimes make me itch.”

“More the reason to make me not want to sit with you while you watch the game.” Gamma rolled her eyes and gagged.

Mommy's getting an ultrasound and sees a baby for the first time. What does she say? If ultrasound doesn't exist in the medieval world, take a doctor and let him check by feeling the mommy's belly.
“Reyn, dear, I think it’s about time we discuss names.” Gamma spoke to Reyn, and he looked up from his magazine. They were in the waiting room of the maternity portion of the hospital, waiting for their gender reveal ultrasound.

Reyn blinked. “Shouldn’t we wait until we know what it is?” He put the magazine down on the stand between the chairs they were sitting in. “Damn, these magazines are like, older than our kid.”

“Of course they are. Everything’s going to be older than zero, what are you talking about?”

“The magazines are from last year. You’re six months pregnant. The magazines have existed twice as long as our kid.”

“I see, yeah, when you put it that way, they are.” Gamma nodded in understanding. The doctor called them in at that moment. She continued the name conversation while the doctor set up the procedure. “I like Valerie for a girl, and Raymond or Ray for short for a boy. Any ideas of your own?”

Reyn shook his head. “Nope, not a clue...other than Reyn Junior, but the name you came up with is better. Close to my name without being the exact same name. My mom did suggest Cal though. And I was like, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to name a son after my deadbeat dad who was only around when it was convenient for him. Think I hurt her feelings, but it’s the truth.” Awkward pause. “I decided at an early age that if I ever became a father I would be the exact opposite of a deadbeat, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. But anyway. Where’d Valerie come from?”

“I just like the sound of it.” Gamma shrugged. The ultrasound was turned on and the image was on the screen. Both expecting parents were watching the screen with smiles on their faces.

The doctor was a woman in her early forties. She moved the scope around on Gamma’s belly until she had a good image of the baby inside. “I know it’s none of my business, but I wouldn’t want to name this little guy after his grandfather if he’s like that either.” She pointed at the screen. “See that? It’s a boy!”

“Aww, a little Ray?” Reyn squinted at the screen. “I guess I can kinda see it? But kinda not…”

“Definitely a boy.” The doctor said. “It’s like he’s airing out on the couch in front of the TV. Clear view of his male parts.”

Gamma laughed. “Sounds like he’s his father’s son already then.” Reyn made a surprised face at her. “I know what you’re thinking. No, I’m not saying you air out on the couch naked. But you do air out on the couch a lot completely clothed.” Brief pause. “You like the name I suggested, I see.”

“It is a good name, yeah.” Reyn blinked, trying to figure out if he should be offended at the airing out accusation or not. “But according to what Sharla told me yesterday, Joan’s going to be disappointed. Said she told her she hoped we would give her a friend that’s a girl.”

“How old is this Joan?” The doctor asked.

“Two.” Reyn said. “Turned two...about seven months ago actually.”

“She’ll be fine then.” The doctor smiled. “It’s important for children to have both male and female friends and at that age, it’s not hard. Everybody plays with everybody at that age.”

“We know!” Reyn replied. Gamma nodded in agreement.

Mommy's having contractions and in labor! Mommy's started to push! What did daddy say?

Awwwwww! Mommy and daddy have cute baby/babies! How did they feel when they get the baby/babies?
Reyn paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room with a two way radio in his hand. “She’s spewing a few choice words in there and she just asked for an epidural. Do either of you know what an epidural is?” Gamma had been in labor for three hours, and Reyn’s heart was nearly pounding out of his chest. But a couple of friends from Colony 6 were keeping him from going insane, even though they couldn’t be at the Colony 9 hospital right now, they could still talk to him via the radio.

“It’s a shot that numbs some of the pain of childbirth.” Sharla’s voice. “From my experience, it’ll be downhill from here. I got the epidural and like half an hour later, I’d pushed Joan out and they were checking her to make sure everything was normal.”

“Where do they give the shot?” Reyn made a disturbed face at the radio. “They don’t give it...where the baby comes out, do they?”

Sharla laughed. “No, they give it in the lower back.”

“Pretty sure if they gave it there, it’d be a shot in the baby’s head instead.” The voice from the radio changed to a clearly masculine one.

“Shut up, Gadolt.” The voice changed back.

“Well it would!” And back again.

Ten minutes later, the nurse came out. “Your son is here! Just wait a little bit and then when it’s okay for you to come in, I’ll come get you.”

Reyn smiled and spoke into the radio as the nurse turned and went back into the delivery room. “He’s here, guys! The nurse is making me wait though.”

“Probably because they have to clean the blood off of him and cover Gamma up and stuff.” Gadolt’s voice. “I don’t think you want to see what’s going on in there right now.”

“Good point…”

Meanwhile in the house in Colony 6, Joan bounced around the room. “I heard him say he’s here! I wanna see him! Not as good as a girl, but he can still play, right?”

Gadolt smiled and ruffled his daughter’s hair. “Not for a few years. He’s just a little guy. He can’t do much.”

“Other than cry and poop?”

“Exactly.” Gadolt chuckled.

“We’ll probably go see him in a few weeks.” Sharla said. “Give Reyn a chance to adjust, and Gamma as well. Seriously though. Reyn as a father. This oughta be interesting…”

Back at the Colony 9 hospital, the nurse had just allowed Reyn into the delivery room. Gamma had a squirming blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She looked up and smiled. “Get over here, come meet your son. He nearly tore me in half on his way out, the little scamp!”

Reyn kissed her cheek. “Sounds like you did well though.” He looked at his son, who stared at him through a pair of green eyes. Other than the eye color though, Ray resembled his father a good amount. He had some red fuzz on his head, clearly pure red because of the blood that he had just been covered in. His hair had to have some brown mixed with the red.

“Mommy and Daddy said we’ll be over in a few weeks!” A small female voice came from the radio in Reyn’s hand. “But he can’t play yet because all he can do is cry and poop!” Ray seemed to jolt at that sudden outburst and started wailing.

“Sounds like he’s already crying too!” And then the voice changed to that of an adult woman. “Sorry about that! Gadolt let her have the radio while I was in the bathroom.”

“You’re radioing Sharla and Gadolt?” Gamma blinked. “And Joan?” Ray had only cried for a few seconds. Now he was suckling at his mother’s breast.

“Yeah, they kinda walked me through this whole ordeal and kept me from freaking out too much. Sharla and Gadolt did anyway, this is the first time Joan’s piped up.” Reyn held up the radio and spoke into it. “Your daughter just scared my son. He’s eating now, but he was clearly scared.”

A faint “I’m sorry”, and then Sharla spoke again. “She says she’s sorry. Well? Does he look more like you or Gamma?”

“More like me, I think, but he’s got her eyes.”

“I see! Well we will be down in a few weeks, Joan didn’t make that up.”

The doctor walked over. “We’ll need you both to sign the birth certificate, and then we’ll weigh and measure him. He appears healthy and strong, but we’re going to keep him overnight anyway, just to be sure. He also came charging out fairly quickly, like he was eager to get into the world.”

“That’s my boy! No hesitation, just action, just like his old man!”

Gamma rolled her eyes at that, then smiled.

 

Grand Theft Auto, Colony 9! Everything's here, folks, from ornery teenagers to hookers to, well, grand theft auto. Don't worry, the hooker part is tasteful, nobody orders her services.

Quote

“I am so bored, man.” 

“Yeah? Well I’m bored AND hungry.”

Two male homs in their early teens were sitting in Colony 9’s commercial district. One was a bit of a lanky beanpole, black haired with glasses over a pair of green eyes, and named Clip. The other was average height, but slightly chubby, with brown for both his hair and eye colors, and named Keagan.

Clip looked at Keagan and blinked. “You’re ALWAYS hungry. You eat like what, every half hour at the most?”

“Are you fat shaming me?”

A third young man sat beside them at the outdoor table before Clip could respond. He had a paper sack with three sandwiches in it and he took them out and put them on the table. “Hey, guys. They had extra sandwiches left over. My dad told me I could bring you some.”

Keagan unwrapped one of the sandwiches with a big grin on his face. “Nice, Ray to the rescue! I was starved.” Clip rolled his eyes and grabbed the final sandwich.

A few minutes of nothing but chewing and swallowing from the trio, and then Ray spoke. “So the defense force has a new tank…”

“Oh?” Clip was interested. “What kind? A big armored one with a cannon on it?”

Ray shook his head. “A little stealth one. It has guns on it, but not huge ones. It’d be fun to take it out and shoot vangs and stuff with it.”

“You can, you know.” Keagan smirked. “Tonight. It beats being bored.”

“Are you serious? His dad will skin him alive!” Clip nearly choked on his sandwich.

“Nah, he wouldn’t get that extreme.” Ray waved a hand in a typical “teenager rebelling against parents” gesture. “I know where he keeps the keys to the tank garage. And it’s got fresh ether cylinders in it. We should totally do it. We’ll bring it back after we’re done, and Dad will be none the wiser. He probably won’t even notice any fuel being gone out of it in the morning.”

“So…” Clip trailed off.

“Meet me outside the military district at 9:30. Oh, and Keagan, no eating in the tank. We want it to still look brand new when we bring it back, not like a hobo was living in it for a week.”

“Hey!” Keagan protested. “I don’t make that big of a mess, do I?” The other two nodded. He sighed and hung his head. “Okay, I guess…”

----

Ray’s mother walked into the living room and spoke to his father at around 8:15 pm. “I hope you already showered, because I’m going in. I feel like a pile of sweaty socks and shorts in a locker room. And I probably smell that way too.”

Reyn looked at Gamma and blinked, then took a big whiff. “I’ve smelled worse, babe.”

“I’m still showering and I’ll be in there for awhile. If I smell you tonight, you’re sleeping on the couch, so get in as soon as I’m out if you haven’t already.” Gamma was about to turn and go down the hallway when she saw a pair of combat boots, one by the front door, the other a few feet away from it. “Put your boots away, Ray! They smell like skunks!” And then she turned and headed for the bedroom to get a change of clothes for the shower.

The shower was always busy just about every night at this time, luckily there was another, smaller bathroom with a toilet in it as well. Defense force drills and patrols would make anyone sweaty and gross. And fourteen year old boys tended to have problems with stinky feet, especially if they were wearing big thick boots. Ray hated having to keep his boots outside and sometimes he’d find them filled with foot powder that had to be dumped out, and then some of the powder would stay in there and make little clouds with each step, and it was so annoying.

The day ended at 7:00 pm. And then it was a scramble for the shower, and then they’d usually be in bed asleep by 9:30. And then it was up at 6:30 am, at the defense force base by 7:00, morning break, lunch break for two hours starting at noon, then back to work and an afternoon break before clocking out. Weekends were a bit more lax, most of the time they’d do the drills and cut the patrols short early, and then everybody went out on the town for the rest of the time before clocking out. Reyn’s only rule was no coming back drunk. The troops knew him as being “firm, but fair”, where as Vangarre before him would run everyone nearly to death and yell and hit people when they didn’t work hard enough. Today was Friday, so tomorrow would be an easy day.

Ray nearly dozed off at 9:20. Oh shit! The tank! He threw himself up out of the bed, having gone to it to avoid his parents being suspicious, right down to stripping down to just the boxer shorts he slept in. It was silent in the house, except for the occasional snorting snore from Reyn. Sometimes that would wake Gamma up and then she’d yell at Reyn to shut up and then they’d both not sleep the rest of the night, but still function well enough the next morning. Ray had to hurry, he never knew when that would happen.

After throwing his clothes back on and sneaking the tank garage key out of the house, it was just a hop, skip, and a jump to the garage itself. Thank the Bionis they didn’t live in the residential district! The colonel and his family had always lived in the military district. And the tank garage was only a block away. The newest stealth tank was parked close enough to the garage door. Driving it seemed straightforward enough. There was the gas, brake, steering...and two big red buttons next to aiming levers, one for each gun. He wasn’t touching those until he was out of town and there was actually something to shoot at. Hopefully his friends wouldn’t either. But man, were those buttons tempting! A few years ago he just might have blasted a hole in the garage door…

The tank whirred to life. It was surprisingly easy to steer and move out of the garage to the edge of the military district. Clip and Keagan both had eyes as wide as dinner plates. “Get in.” Ray told them. “Don’t touch the red buttons.”

“Why, what do the red buttons do?” Clip sat down in the tank, and Keagan crammed in beside him. It was a tight fit, the tank was designed to be a two seater. “Ejection seat?”

“No, but I can pull over and push either of you out if I have to, that’s the only ‘ejection seat’ there’s gonna be. The red buttons are to fire the guns, duh!”

“So, monster hunting. We gonna make bunnit stew? Because I’m pretty sure vangs are in no way edible.”

Ray gave Keagan a friendly smack on the side of the head. “Are bunnits edible? Do they have to be? Does everything have to involve food for you?”

“I’m curious myself.” Clip admitted. “The defense force hunts monsters all the time, right? What do you do with them once they’re dead?”

“Stuff can be made out of bunnit fur. Arachno silk fetches a good price, brog skin can be used to make stuff like with bunnit fur...I don’t know other than that, but vangs are just flying pests…” And then Ray’s eyes widened into a couple of green disks. “Oh, holy crap. One time the chef made some kind of meat casserole. Nobody could agree on what kind of meat it was. I thought it was pork. Dad thought it tasted like beef. Mom thought there was both pork and beef in it. Guys, I think I ate bunnit!” Brief pause. “It was okay, but I wondered why it tasted kinda gamey. I was thinking wild boar, but those are closer to Colony 11!”

“Well that solves that mystery then.” Clip almost gagged. “Bunnit IS edible. But let’s go.”

And they were off. The commercial district stood between the military district and the wilds outside of town, so it had to be crossed first. The shops left little space for even a small tank to maneuver through the streets. But it would be worse in the day when the town was bustling. Now, nobody was out, and all the shops were closed.

Or at least, nobody SHOULD be out. As the tank rolled between a couple of market stalls, Keagan gasped and pointed at an alleyway. “Guys!” His tone was quick and urgent. “There’s a freakin prostitute over there!”

“How do you know she’s a prostitute?” Clip was trying not to crack up. “What are your parents DOING in the city council?”

The woman was dressed in a revealing manner. She didn’t seem to notice the tank and the three teen boys in it, but she definitely knew someone was approaching. She darted into the shadows.

“She was pretty much just wearing underwear! And she ran when she heard us! Towards the bar even!”

“Well what do you want Ray to do, chase her down so you can see how much 5 gold will get you? Dude, she’s probably full of diseases and you’re only fifteen!”

Keagan turned red as a tomato. “I never said I was going to order her services! Get your nasty ass brain out of the gutter!”

“I’m not the one who pointed her out!”

And then the engine roared and the tank ran over a market stall and crashed into the wall of a building. “Look at what you idiots made me do!” Ray snapped at his friends. “Your bickering distracted me and made me hit the turbo!”

They all stepped out of the tank. Clip looked at the front of it. “It doesn’t look damaged.” And then he looked at the tires. A wooden beam from the market stall had splintered and pierced right through one of the front tires. “...But it’s not moving unless there’s a spare tire.”

“Ugh, my parents are going to kill me so bad! Dammit! Son of a BITCH!”

Ray didn’t normally act this way unless he was extremely mad. He stomped back and forth, growling and clenching his fists. And spewing every swear word he could think of.

“Maybe if you go back home right now, you can play dumb in the morning?” Keagan suggested. “Make it look like somebody broke into the garage? Break a few windows?”

Ray stopped mid stomp. “I can try, but if it doesn’t work, you two are getting in just as much trouble as I am. I’ll tell my parents you were in on it too. Sound fair? Good, it better!”

He didn’t wait for a response. He was off in a flash, storming back to the military district. He threw a brick through the window of the tank garage when he got there. By now it was past midnight. Oddly enough, he slept better than he had in days, almost like being that angry tired him out.

The alarm rang at 6:30 am. Ray wasn’t hopping mad at his friends anymore, but he wasn’t ready to get up. He pushed the snooze button. His mother kept saying she wasn’t going to wake him up when he did that anymore, but she hadn’t stopped yet. Today it looked like she was. He rolled over and looked at the clock at 7:20...wait, 7:20? Oh no, they’d left him at home! And today was a monster hunt! He never missed those!

“Raymond.” His mother’s voice, and his full name, which he normally only heard when he was in trouble. “Get up, get dressed, and get out here.” And then he heard her walk away. She hadn’t opened the door to his room, just sternly addressed him from the hallway. She suspected him already...but this could still work…

He got dressed and walked into the living room. “It’s almost 7:30. Are we having a weekend break? Decided at the last minute?”

Reyn was still having trouble deciding whether to be mad or impressed, or to laugh. Of course he had to look mad at least. But his son had pulled quite the fast one, and it WAS impressive...the little scamp! If only Vangarre hadn’t been so damn grumpy and violent, he might’ve done that when he was his age. Well, he was only a backup troop then, which was why he didn’t have a uniform during his teen years. He was still surprised Vangarre had picked him. “Old Squarestache” died of a stroke when Ray was five. He’d definitely rage about this if he was alive though, and tell him to “control your offspring better” or something.

“You’re in trouble, young man.” Reyn put on his best attempt at a stern glare. “What did you think you were going to accomplish by crashing the new stealth gunner in the commercial district, and throwing a brick through the garage window to try to cover your tracks?”

“Oh, that happened? It wasn’t me, I was asleep! Clearly somebody took it out and did it. Somebody without a key.”

Reyn and Gamma looked at each other. Gamma nodded at her husband like she wanted him to keep talking. He sighed. “We know it was you, Keagan, and Clip.” Reyn continued. “You’re all clearly in the security footage.”

Ray’s face looked like a mix between someone who’d just seen a ghost and a ponio in headlights. He’d forgotten there were security cameras in the commercial district. And so did his friends. “It was kinda Keagan’s idea…”

“We’re not worried about whose idea it was, or how Clip and Keagan’s parents are going to deal with it, but you are grounded for a month.” Gamma said. “No going outside the base for lunch until you’re ungrounded. And the shopkeeper might want you boys to do work for him for awhile, or he might just want the repairs to come out of your pocket, we don’t know yet, but he’ll get back to us soon.”

“Ten laps around the drill area.” Reyn added. “Go.” He shooed his son outside and closed the door. Ray had a thing with his father, that however many laps he was told to run, it meant half it and make everyone think he was doing the full amount, including his mother. So he was running five laps, but it still wasn’t something he wanted to do first thing in the morning.

Gamma was replaying the security footage they’d been given. “Wait a second. Look in the alley like thirty seconds before the crash. That’s clearly a prostitute those boys were distracted by!”

“A what?” Reyn grabbed the video tape player and stared at the screen. His jaw dropped. “...OH. Holy shit…”

“You gave him the talk already, right?”

“Yeah, but...I’ll have to add onto it…”

To be continued...

Edited February 23, 2018 by eclipse

[Dragoncat]

This one has a boring title, simply because I can't think of anything better than Rescue Mission. But hopefully the story ISN'T boring.

Quote

An armu pulled wagon rolled into the military district of Colony 9. It was early evening, so the bustling of the town was starting to die down.

The driver turned to his two companions. “Alright. I’ve got the note, I’ll slip it in the mail slot, you two find the brat, sound good?” The three men were bandits, and under the orders of their leader known as Red Volff, they were going to kidnap the defense force colonel’s son for ransom. They were demanding twenty-five grand for the boy’s safe return. Red Volff claimed they would live like kings with that much cash.

But since their target was the son of Colonel Reyn, aka “Reyn the Wild”, he definitely wasn’t going to come along without a fight. The bandits had brought along a dart gun loaded with tranquilizer darts to remedy this. It was the perfect plan, if all went well and the colonel forked over the cash to save his pride and joy, they’d be twenty-five thousand gold richer.

The wagon was parked about a half a block away from the defense force base. The driver made his way to the base to put the ransom note in the mail slot while the other two waited in the shadows, watching for a boy in his mid teens. When they saw him, the bandit who was the better sniper hit him in the lower back with a tranquilizer dart. He did a dizzy twirl, then collapsed on the ground, his chest still moving up and down with each breath.

“Kid didn’t even know what hit him.” The bandit who had shot smirked.

The other bandit tilted his head. “Wow, I’d expect him to be...less chubby.”

“YAHHHH! HEROPON LULU TO THE RESCUE!” There was a flash of pastel green, and then a small furry creature holding a club was attacking both bandits and biting their ankles.

“Shoo, you little pest!” One of the bandits kicked the green nopon kid away, but she charged right back. “Bad hom homs! No shooting innocents! Roly poly, keep on rolling!” The nopon slammed into the bandit with her full body weight after yelling out the name and catch phrase of her move. It was supposed to knock the bandit off his feet, but it only made him stagger a bit.

“We don’t have time for this!” The bandit with the dart gun used it on the nopon. She, too, collapsed on the ground.

The wagon driver returned right then. “You got the brat I see, but what are we going to do with this green hairball?”

“I dunno, maybe the boss can make it into a fur hat.” The dart gun bandit shrugged.

The wagon driver chuckled. “That’d serve it right!” And they loaded up their prisoners into the wagon and left town.

----

The Colony 9 defense force colonel, his son, and his father in law had spent the night in the defense force base for a change. He stretched and rolled over as the morning sunlight hit his face, and for a split second, he thought his wife was right beside him so he could give her a good morning nuzzle. His heart sank when he remembered what had happened nearly half a year ago. The woman he loved, the mother of his son, had been too stubborn for her own good, which resulted in her death at the hands of an enemy. He’d always found her stubbornness smoking hot, but kind of regretted it now. To add insult to injury, she had been five months pregnant, so he’d actually lost two loved ones.

He’d realized that having two kids sixteen years apart might’ve been a bit of a middle age crisis, but he couldn’t help wondering. Did he have another son on the way or a daughter? If a daughter, would she look a lot like her mother like Ray looked a lot like him? Maybe he’d meet his second kid in the afterlife...but did souls that never had a chance at life even exist on the same heavenly plane? These were questions that wouldn’t be answered any time soon for sure.

“Good morning, Reyn.” His father in law, Russo, greeted him in the cafeteria. Reyn sat down beside Russo. “Morning...just, morning.”

Russo poked at his omelet. “I miss Gamma a lot too. She was my only child. I loved her first after all, but I imagine you’re still feeling the sting just as much as I am.”

“I wanted to give her a morning kiss or just a nuzzle on the cheek to wake her up, but then I didn’t see her there and…” Reyn hung his head. “It’s awful how I sometimes forget she’s gone when I just wake up. Sometimes I’d wake her up with a kiss, sometimes she’d do the same to me.”

Russo patted Reyn’s shoulder. “I tried to get her not to be so reckless for many years. Real shame she never listened. But you know, Ray has her eyes. He looks at me, and it’s like my little girl looking at me.” After a pause, he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “This was in the mail slot. Addressed to the colonel, that’d be you.”

Reyn raised an eyebrow at the envelope before ripping it open and reading the paper inside. His face changed to a horrified expression. “Bionis DAMMIT! Not Ray too! Hell no, I CAN’T lose him!” He turned to Russo. “Ray’s been kidnapped! They want twenty-five grand at Kamos Guidepost by tomorrow to get him back!”

“Hold on a second! I passed him on the way down here.” Russo said. “Told me he had to drain the lizard and then he’d be here for breakfast. Let me see that!” Reyn gave him the note, still trembling.

At that moment, Reyn’s sixteen year old son appeared and sat down with a plate of food. “What’s the shouting for, Dad? I couldn’t make out any words but you sounded like you were pretty scared.” He put on a smirk. “Is there a spider?”

“Oh, hallelujah!” Reyn untensed. “No, no spider…”

“Some thugs put a ransom note in the mail slot saying they had you.” Russo explained. “But clearly they don’t.”

Ray blinked. “You think they might’ve taken someone else, thinking it was me? Why’d they want to though?”

“That’s the question of the day for sure…” Russo shrugged.

A female defense force soldier approached. “Sir? There’s a lady in hysterics in the lobby. Says she can’t find her son. Said he never came home last night.”

Reyn stood up. “Tell her I’ll be right there.” The soldier nodded and left. Reyn turned back to his son and father in law. “Looks like they did take someone else, and we’ve found his mother.”

Ray let out an audible gulp when he saw the woman. Menolly, his civilian friend Keagan’s mom!

Reyn also seemed to gulp, but Russo just stood there with a blank expression. “Menolly.” Reyn began. “We already know what happened to Keagan. I got a note in the mail slot this morning, a bunch of idiots mistook your son for mine, and they want twenty-five grand for his safe return.”

Menolly wailed. “But I don’t have that kind of money!”

“Neither do we, not readily available anyway.” Ray clenched his fists. “But why give them what they want? We need to go open a can of whoopass on them!”

“Ugh, why must it be on the busiest day of the week?” Reyn also clenched his fists. “All the troops are going to be needed here! What do we do now?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Dad? I go find Joan and Scipio and we attack the bandits and bring Keagan back!”

“Woah there, son!” Reyn’s eyes widened. “They were after you in the first place!”

“Then I’ll show them what happens when they target us! Maybe a few Colony 6 troops can come along? You never know!” Ray then turned to Menolly. “Don’t even think about trying to scrounge up enough money to pay these idiots. This is what the defense force is here for. I’ll get my defense force friends from Colony 6 and we’ll get him back for you. For all of us!”

Menolly smiled awkwardly. “You’re a brave young man. Thanks.”

Reyn grinned and patted Ray’s head. “Chip off the old block!” Turning to Ray, he added: “I’d feel better if you had an adult with you though. Man, do I wish it could be me!”

Russo smiled. “Well. These old bones can still be of some use. I’ll do it! Just give me my daughter’s old spear and shield, because I no longer have mine.”

“Really, Grandpa? The note said Kamos Guidepost, that’s in Gaur Plains, that’d be quite the walk for an old person.”

Russo chuckled. “Hey, don’t underestimate your gramps! Pack plenty of food, water, and some first aid supplies. We don’t know whether we’ll be out a half a day, a day, or two days, we can restock in Colony 6 though, so we’ll need gold too.”

“Gotcha, Grandpa. Let me go pack a bag and get my gunlance.” And then Ray was off toward the room he had slept in.

After Menolly had been dismissed, Reyn spoke to Russo. “Do everything in your power to keep him safe. If I were to lose him too...I’d…”

“I know. Trust me. I will bring him back in one piece. We leave as soon as he’s ready. I better pack too!”

----

A young woman with black hair looked down at the dead equine creature with a bullet wound where its heart and lungs were. She knelt and patted its head. “Thank you, you are worthy. Your meat will sustain us.”

“You’re really creeping me out right now, Joan.” Her younger brother piped up from behind her. He had the same dark hair in a tufted cowlick, but his eyes were a deep sapphire blue instead of brown like his sister’s. Both siblings carried rifles.

Joan turned. “Remember Uncle Juju talking about the volff packs and how they seem to respect their prey, making eye contact as the prey dies and stuff like that? I figured, homs are predators too, and even though we kill with guns instead of fangs, we should do the same.”

“Yeah, but it was already dead by the time we got here. You shot it from like, what, ten yards?”

Joan sighed. “I guess that’s true. Give me that game bag, let’s pack it up and get back to Colony 6.”

“Yeah! Ponio steak like Mom makes it is the best, I can’t wait!” The young man smiled and punched the air in a “hell yeah” gesture. Then he found himself noticing the ponio’s lifeless eyes, staring up at him like it still had consciousness, and he shuddered. “Ah, hell. Look what you made me do, sis! I feel guilty!”

“Sorry. I’m looking forward to eating it too, actually.” Joan chuckled.

They bagged up the dead ponio, and were about to pick it up when they heard a familiar voice shouting at them. “Scip! Joan!” They looked up and saw Ray running toward them, with his grandfather struggling to keep up behind him.

“You damn kid! I told you not to go so fast!” Russo huffed and puffed.

Ray smirked. “I had to catch up with them, they were about to leave! If I waited for you, Grandpa, we’d still be tracking them down tomorrow!”

Scip, whose full name was Scipio, smiled at his friend. “What’s up? Any reason you’re here on a Tuesday?”

“We’re on hunting duty, as you can see.” Joan added. “And yeah, aren’t Tuesdays pretty busy for the Colony 9 defense force? If your dad is anything like mine as colonel, he’d want you at home right now. Not going exploring with your grandpa.”

“I’m on a rescue mission. Grandpa’s my sidekick.” Russo chuckled softly at that, but allowed Ray to continue speaking. “You know my friend Keagan?”

“Yeah, the guy whose parents have a lot of clout in the Colony 9 city council.” Joan nodded. “I think he tried to hit on me the last time I saw him. Asked me if I liked cheese popcorn and I swear I saw a flirty look in his eyes. Kind of a weird guy.”

Ray didn’t know how to react to that. What’s this I feel? Jealous? Territorial? Am I starting to see Joan as more than a friend? He put that thought in the back of his mind. “Yeah, that’s him. He’s been kidnapped by bandits who want twenty-five grand to return him safely. They were after ME, actually, but clearly they made a mistake like the idiots they are.”

Scipio blinked. “We’ve had problems with bandits in Colony 6! They’d rob the shops, sometimes at knifepoint, sometimes at gunpoint. My dad cornered their leader and screamed in his face about how if he ever saw him or his cronies poking around the colony again, he’d put bullets in their asses and make them wish they were never born. And then he took the leader’s knife and slashed his face. Haven’t seen them since.”

Russo chuckled. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to get on Gadolt’s bad side for sure. How long ago did he do that?”

“About a month.”

“There’s a rumor floating around.” Joan began. “Apparently their hideout is where the refugee camp was. You know, the one my mom used to run until it was safe to rebuild the colony?” Colony 6 had been completely ravaged in the war nearly two decades ago. Joan and Scipio’s mother and uncle lived in the refugee camp for awhile, and their father had been taken as a prisoner of war and had to be rescued. Their parents were already engaged at the time and would have been married sooner if it wasn’t for the attack that burnt the colony to the ground.

“How sure are you of this rumor?” Ray asked.

Joan shrugged. “About, eighty percent? Eighty-five? I mean it was already fixed up to be habitable, so you’d think they’d use it now that it’s been abandoned, but then again, Gaur Plains is vast, so…”

“You thinking they’re the same bandits?” Scipio raised an eyebrow. “And we’re going to go raid their camp to give them a taste of their own medicine?”

“Bingo.” Ray smirked. “Get your meat back to Colony 6, me and Grandpa will help, and then...I hope you know where this old camp is.”

----

Keagan woke up with a stabbing pain in his lower back, and he couldn’t move his arms or legs, almost like he was tied to his bed...his eyes widened and he let out a startled yelp. He WAS tied up, but not in his bed, to a tree!

“Hom hom awake!” A little squeaky voice came from the branch directly over his head. He looked up and saw a young nopon staring at him. “How you think we gonna get out of this?”

“Clearly I’m still asleep and dreaming.”

“No, this real!” The nopon said. “Last thing Lulu remember, is bad hom homs shoot you with sleep dart. Then Lulu try to crush pow. Then they shoot LULU with sleep dart. Now we both tied to tree.”

Keagan squirmed and struggled. The ropes weren’t giving. He screamed at the top of his lungs.

“The sleeping prince awakes!” A man with red hair and a scar over his eye came out of the cave nearby. He sneered at his prisoners. “You’re at the mercy of your daddy, all he has to do is pay up at Kamos Guidepost by dinner at six o clock. He will, at least you better hope he does, or else we might have to kill you. Red Volff’s pack ain’t going soft! And as for you!” The bandit leader turned to Lulu. “You mangy green furball! I haven’t decided what to do with you yet, although I’ve been told you’ll make a nice hat.”

Lulu trembled, and Keagan didn’t know whether it was out of fear or rage or both. He was nearly discharging the contents of his bladder and bowels, he was terrified, but he wasn’t going to let this thug see it. He forced his face into a death glare. “You’ve lost your mind. My dad will just get my friend’s dad and they’ll come get me! You won’t get a single coin! My friend’s dad will throw you in prison and you’ll rot away in there!”

A bandit came running. “Boss, we’ve got company!”

“Oh, good!” Red Volff turned and broke into a sinister grin. “The brat was just starting to sass me, but now that we have the twenty-five grand, we can let him go! The colonel was even kind enough to personally deliver it, that works!”

Colonel? Keagan blinked. Oh Bionis, they were after Ray and got me instead!

“No, boss. It’s not the colonel! Three teenagers and an old man, and they’re armed to the teeth!”

A bang sounded from the thicket, followed by a bandit yelling in pain, and then a teenage male voice. “You wanted me, eh? Well here I am! Now I’m gonna show you what happens when you mess with the defense force!”

Keagan perked up. “Over here!” He yelled as loud as he could.

“Yay!” Lulu squeaked. 

A bandit ran out of the thicket with blood flowing from the wound on his side. Pursuing him was a teenage boy with messy reddish brown hair, a gunlance, and a blood frenzy look in his green eyes. The bandit grabbed one of the swords in the pile of weapons nearby. By now, the whole bandit camp was scrambling for weapons and fighting back.

Red Volff grabbed a knife and stared at Ray for a second before turning to the bandit beside him. “Idiot! You got the wrong brat! Look! This one resembles the colonel much more!”

Russo plowed into a bandit and knocked him over. The bandit landed on his back, flailed, and fired his pistol. The bullet grazed Ray’s shoulder. He yelped and winced, but continued slashing at every bandit that approached him.

“We’re outnumbered!” Joan’s tone was laced with nervousness.

Russo ran over to her. “The redhead with the scar on his face appears to be the leader! Take him out, and the others should surrender!”

Red Volff charged toward Scipio and tensed when he got close enough. The Colony 6 colonel’s son! I’d know those flashing blue eyes anywhere! “Well! Today’s my lucky day! I’ve been wanting to get back at Colonel Gadolt for what he did to my face!”

“You deserved it!” Scipio touched the barrel of his rifle to the bandit leader’s chest and pulled the trigger. Red Volff sputtered and hit the ground, blood splattering out of his fatal wound.

“The boss is down! RETREAT!” The rest of the bandits ran into the thicket. Ray started to run after them, but was pulled back by Russo.

Scipio was standing there looking both surprised and horrified. “Guys...I killed him…” Joan walked over and made a disgusted face at the corpse.

“Good riddance!” Ray gave his friend a thumbs up.

“I...don’t understand why I feel different than when I kill monsters.” Scipio stammered. “I just got really mad and shot him in the heart, without even thinking!”

Russo walked over and patted Scipio’s shoulder. “It’s normal to feel a bit of guilt after having to take the life of a fellow homs. No matter how much they deserved it, they are still your own kind. It’s different from hunting or killing monsters.”

Ray looked at the corpse and winced. “Grandpa, did you ever kill anybody?”

“I’ve had to kill a couple thugs, yeah.”

“Guys, I’m still here!” Keagan shouted.

“Oh yeah, duh!” Ray picked up Red Volff’s knife and ran over to the tree, then cut the ropes. “You okay, dude?”

“I am now.” Keagan reached back and pulled out the dart. “Those thugs used a tranquilizer dart on me!”

“Lulu still tied up!”

“And they took a nopon too, as you can see. Said she tried to save me. The bandits were going to make her into a fur hat.”

Ray freed Lulu from the ropes and caught her as she fell from the tree. She smiled at him and pulled out the dart in her side. “You have Heropon Lulu’s utmost gratitude! What’s your name?”

“Heropon?” Ray sat Lulu down on the ground. “My dad traveled with a ‘heropon’. Said his name was Riki? My name’s Ray.”

Lulu gasped. “Your dadahom must be the one named Reyn! Now I see! You fit the description of him! Big male hom hom with red brown hair!”

“Our mom traveled with Heropon Riki too.” Joan said. “Do you remember anything about a Sharla?”

“I do I do!” Lulu nodded and smiled. “Female hom hom with black hair! Lulu know the names and descriptions of all Heropon Riki’s hom hom friends! He Lulu’s idol!”

“Are you the new ‘heropon’?” Scipio asked.

Lulu shook her head. ”No, not yet! Someday though! Lulu just call herself one for practice!”

Russo stepped forward and smiled at the little green creature. “That’s an admirable goal, you keep at it. I’m Ray’s grandfather, Russo.”

“You don’t look much like Reyn. You must be Ray’s mamahom’s dadahom?”

Russo smiled. “Exactly. Now where are you from? I’m sure your parents are worried sick about you. And so are Keagan’s.”

“Frontier Village, but visiting Colony 9.”

“Good, because I want to go home.” Keagan said. “But maybe sometime I’d like to visit Frontier Village.”

“Me too! Dad says it’s built in a really huge tree!” Ray agreed. “Now...let’s get back!”

They left the bandit leader there because nobody wanted to move him. Red Volff was going to be volff food.

 

Edited February 23, 2018 by Dragoncat

[Dragoncat]

Something different! No Reyn Time, but anyway!

Bullet the Defense Force Cat

Quote

Parenting was nearly driving Sharla to drink. She had a six year old daughter and a three year old son...and a thirty-two year old husband who sometimes acted like a kid himself. Just last week, Gadolt had gotten Joan a water gun. And not a cheap one either! The thing was high quality and could shoot pretty far. Sharla caught the little girl shooting her friend Vincent with it. Well, she just caught the aftermath, when the poor kid showed up drenched and hiding behind his parents. Ewan seemed to think it was slightly humorous, but Matyrona was in full mama bear mode. So now the water gun was gone for a month and hopefully, it was loud and clear that Joan was not to just randomly shoot her friends with it.

At least her son was well behaved enough. Scipio always was a good kid, even as a baby learning to walk, Sharla could put him down and he’d stay, mostly. Well, until her younger brother showed up, then he’d dart right to him. Total uncle’s boy. Joan clung to both her parents, Scipio was more likely to cling to his Uncle Juju.

Today Juju had both his niece and nephew out for ice cream, it was Gadolt’s turn to patrol, and Sharla had the house to herself. It was nice to have some silence for a change. She watched TV even though there was nothing on but daytime talk shows. Even that was a nice change from Gadolt’s sports and news. And Joan and Scip’s cartoons. Sharla felt some annoyance when she heard the footsteps going up the front porch fifteen minutes early, and then some guilt over that annoyance. Joan ran through the front door and straight to the kitchen and started digging through the fridge. “No, the leftover tuna is gone! Mom, did Dad take that tuna for lunch?”

“Any kind of meat will work I think.” Juju walked up to his sister. “She found a stray cat and we’re feeding it. That’s why we’re back a little early.”

“I ate all my ice cream!” Scipio bounced up and down. It looked like most of the ice cream had gotten on his face and down the front of his shirt, but clearly he’d still had enough to get him hyped up. “And ice cream makes animals sick, Unk said so! So we have to get meat from here!”

“Okay, two things, Juju.” Sharla said. “One, how do you know this isn’t just somebody’s lost pet? Two, how much ice cream did you let Skippy have, and have you ever heard of a napkin?”

“He wanted the vanilla cone dipped in fudge. I admit I should’ve asked for napkins. But by now, I think it’s more of a washcloth job…”

Joan had half of the contents of the fridge on the floor, and she’d finally found a container of lunch meat. “I found some turkey!”

“You need to put the rest of the stuff back, and then we can go see if the cat’s still there.”

“But Unk-”

“You make a mess, you clean it up, that’s fair.”

Sometimes Juju could be a stern uncle. But most of the time he was more of an “unc-hole”, that uncle who was always doing stupid stuff with his nieces/nephews that ended in trouble. He’d probably be more responsible with kids of his own someday. Joan obeyed and put everything back, but reluctantly. Sharla approached “Skippy” with a wet washcloth and a clean shirt. He squirmed and protested a bit, but allowed his mother to clean him off.

“This cat is skin and bones.” Juju explained. “Poor thing is starving!”

“The cat followed us home!” Joan yelled from the front of the house.

“Wow, really?” Juju’s eyes widened.

“Okay, I gotta see this.” Sharla admitted, following her brother and children to the front door. There she found a skinny, brownish gray colored tabby practically eating out of her daughter’s hand. “Look, Mom!" Joan nearly squealed. “She really loves turkey!”

“This cat is too tough looking to be a girl!” Scipio argued.

“Hey! Girls can be tough too!”

“That’s enough, kids. Now that she, or he, is distracted by the food…” Juju gently moved the cat’s tail up and peeked under it. “He. But Joan’s right, girls can be tough. Your mother is a perfect example.”

“How can you tell?” Joan asked. “Boy parts?”

“Exactly.”

The cat finished eating. His yellow eyes moved from one human to the next, then he meowed and sat there with his tail curled around his paws. “Well he’s clearly friendly and comfortable around people.” Sharla said. “I suppose we can keep feeding him for awhile, get him healthy again. But...I still wonder if somebody’s missing him.”

“Put up signs? Ask around if anybody’s lost a cat?” Juju suggested.

The cat nudged Joan’s hand, like he expected her to have more turkey. She giggled. “I don’t have any more! You ate it all!” And then both kids were petting the friendly feline.

Sharla smiled. “Yeah, see if we can find an owner. He’s too friendly to be a feral cat, I think.”

“Gadolt’s going to be surprised when he gets home.” Juju smirked.

Sharla chuckled. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

----

“Honey, I’m home!” A tall blond soldier unlocked the front door and was greeted by a small boy with cowlicked black hair and sapphire blue eyes. Gadolt’s blondness had been cancelled out by the genetic lottery, both his kids had Sharla’s hair color, but his son had gotten the blue eyes of his father.

Gadolt put his rifle in the closet before turning to his son. “Come here, Scip! You look like you need me to wear you out!” And then they were having a father/son wrestling match on the carpet. Gadolt had some good bulk to him, he could really hurt a kid if he wasn’t careful, but he managed not to during these wrestling matches, despite Sharla’s concern.

Scipio put his face next to his father’s ear. “Dada, we got a cat today.”

“A what?!”

“A cat! When Unk took me and Joan to get ice cream, he followed us home and we’re feeding him.”

Gadolt picked Scipio up and set him down. “Okay, wrestling match over. I think you wore me out instead!” 

“It’s true.” Sharla approached, passing Scipio as he ran down the hallway and giving him a quick pat on the head. “We are feeding a stray tomcat. Just until we find his owner if he has one. But he’s too comfortable around people to be a common feral.”

“He’s not in the house, is he?”

“He’s in the basement. We filled an old box with some cheap cat litter from the coin store, I think he might have used it already!” Sharla paused, then sighed at her husband’s protesting expression. “Gadolt, look. The poor cat is starving to death. I can’t turn him down, that’d be cruel. You know how good I am at nursing the weak back to health.”

“You’re a homs medic though! Not a veterinarian!”

“I’ve worked with an entia once! During the mechon invasion. She was unconscious in Makna Forest. Her ether levels were dangerously low. Entia aren’t much different from homs, although I don’t know about nopon. But anyway!” Sharla shrugged. “The cat just needs food, water, and shelter. It’s not rocket science. Doesn’t take a veterinarian to figure that out.”

Three main races lived on the Bionis: homs, entia, and nopon. Homs were basic humanoids. Entia resembled homs, only with pointed ears and feathered “wings” extending from their heads, and they lived much longer, up to four hundred years. Nopon were small furry creatures. About six years ago, vicious mechanical creatures known as mechon were invading. Gadolt had even been taken by them as a prisoner of war, later to be rescued by his then fiance and her group of friends. Ether was lifeforce, every living thing needed it to survive, and if the ether in the bloodstream dropped too much, it could cause migraines, nausea and vomiting, or simply passing out like what had happened to Melia, the entia princess Sharla had healed.

Gadolt sighed. Once his wife made a decision, he wasn’t going to get her to change her mind. Women were like that. “Okay. I guess the little fella can’t be too much trouble. But just until we find his home!”

The next day, it was Sharla’s turn to patrol for the defense force. Taking turns worked well, Joan and Scipio knew they had a pattern of “Mom days” and “Dad days”. Both of them were doing a good job with the cat. Sharla had named him Bullet, said it sounded like a tough guy name and fit him. Gadolt was sure that now that the critter had a name, he’d be staying for quite some time, and he didn’t exactly like that idea, but he did like seeing his kids work together to be responsible for something. Even if he had to break up an argument over the litter box. NOBODY wanted that job. They ended up leaving it for today, there were only two turds in there, not that dirty anyway.

Sports news was on. There had been a rumor saying the coach for the Colony 6 Krabbles was cheating on his wife with two different women, and it had just been confirmed, so now there was a whole segment about the scandal. Gadolt didn’t get why some men did that. Sharla would chop both his heads off if she caught him with another woman. And on top of that, he only had eyes for her anyway. It had been a bit awkward at first, considering he once thought of her as a little sister and she thought of him as a big brother. He was five years older than her, they’d been close since childhood. He’d actually started thinking she was pretty when she was seventeen, and that was REALLY awkward. Apparently she started lusting after him as young as sixteen...more awkwardness, but it worked out in the end.

“In retrospect I shouldn’t have done it, but I assumed we had an open relationship-” And then Gadolt turned off the TV. Coach Clayton was just talking himself into a deeper grave. It was painful to watch...and even more painful to consider that under him, the Krabbles had won two championships in a row, so who knew how this scandal would affect his job and the status of the team.

Joan came running with a terrified look on her face. “DAD!”

“What’s the matter, Sweetheart? Did your brother fall off the trampoline again?”

“No, it’s Bullet! We let him outside and he’s fighting with another cat!”

Sure enough, there was an orange and white tomcat locked in a hissing, spitting, biting and slashing battle with Bullet. Both kids were frozen in fear, although Scipio had a handful of gravel and was about to throw it. Gadolt pushed his arm back. “No, don’t throw that. Wait just a minute.” He went back inside and came out with the water gun. “Get outta here!” Gadolt yelled, shooting a stream of water at the cats. “This is private property, not feline fight club! Take your disagreements elsewhere!”

The orange and white cat bolted. For a second, it looked like Bullet was going to run away too. But he didn’t. He simply flattened his ears and hissed at his enemy as he ran off. Gadolt blinked. This cat is either really smart, or really loyal, or both...he probably knows if he doesn’t come back, he won’t get easy meals.

“Dad! That’s my water gun! You told me it was gone for a month!” Joan pouted.

“Well...I guess you can have it back now. Just no more shooting anybody with it without their permission. If it happens again, it really will be gone for a month.”

“Yay!” Joan grabbed the water gun and yanked it out of her father’s hands. “Can I shoot soda cans then?”

“Yes, but don’t go draining an entire twelve pack at once.” Gadolt chuckled because he remembered Stephen back in basic training challenging Sharla to a soda drinking contest. Stephen won, but he also made a trail of vomit to the bathroom, causing Sharla to stop at three cans. Stephen was still a kooky character. Every time a new recruit came in he’d convince them they had to check the exhaust levels in the tanks using plastic grocery sacks and some kind of yellow fruit juice that he called “exhaust check fluid”. Colonel Otharon kept telling him to stop, but he wasn’t really enforcing it.

Scipio walked over to Bullet and attempted to pick him up. The cat was a large tom, so a three year old wouldn’t be able to lift him easily. Bullet squirmed and meowed and didn’t allow himself to be picked up. “Dad! I think he’s hurt! His tail is full of blood!”

Bullet’s tail was very mangled and bleeding. He also had a few minor scratches elsewhere, but the tail was the worst. “Ugh. Come on, back inside where you’re safe.” Bullet squirmed and meowed again, but couldn’t wiggle away from a grown man, especially not one with strong arms and a bit of a “gun show” going on. They locked him in the basement with some food, water, and a towel to lay on.

----

Two weeks had passed since Bullet’s arrival. He’d had to have most of his tail amputated, he just had a little stump now. Sharla thought he looked cute. Gadolt thought he looked stupid, but to him, all cats looked stupid a lot of the time. He was never really an animal person. The longer Bullet was around, the less likely he’d leave. And the more likely he never had a home in the first place.

Today the kids were spending the night with their friend Vincent, and both Sharla and Gadolt had the day off...high chance of romance on the horizon. It’d been so long since they made love. Probably three years and nine months...and they got their “Skippy” from that, and two kids were enough, unless they decided they wanted a third someday. Gadolt wasn’t too sure about the feel of condoms, but it was either that or no love at all, so he’d picked one up. One thing about the defense force, it had good health insurance and free birth control for everybody. Well, if the women wanted pills they had to get them elsewhere, but what was provided for free was good enough.

Sharla was clearly really into it. “Gadolt...it’s been so long since I even got to kiss you this way.” She cuddled close to him and nearly purred.

“I know, honey. I just hope I’m not rusty.”

She smiled at him. “It should be like riding a bike. You never forget.”

Unfortunately, they’d forgotten to close the basement, and Bullet was feeling like he wanted some attention, and also a bit ornery. Gadolt’s pants were just about to come off when he felt something warm trickling down his bare back. He turned and...the cat was peeing on him. The cat was peeing on him! “You furry little shit! We gave you a litter box for a reason!” Bullet jumped down and ran out of the room. “Sharla! That damn cat just pissed all over me!”

Sharla cracked up. “Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious. Is his litter box dirty or what?”

“Well it was Scip’s turn...he tends to miss a lot of clumps.” Sharla paused. “Do you need a towel or something?”

“No, I’ll just shower.” Gadolt grumbled. “Again…”

The mood was ruined. Sharla felt some stirring in her loins watching her husband walk away from her, but not enough to want to start up the sex again. At least she still thought he had a cute butt...and still found his strong shoulders and arms attractive. She wondered, if they were interrupted like this as newlyweds, would they have stopped, or kept going?

“I’m sorry, dear!” She called after him. “Keep that condom though, we might be able to use it next week!”

In the morning, when it was time to pick Joan and Scipio up, a slim blond man with glasses greeted Sharla and Gadolt at the door. “We have some waffles left over if either of you want some. The kids just finished theirs.”

“Waffles! You know I’m always game for those! Thanks!” Gadolt plowed his way in and went straight to the table where the waffles were, grabbed a plate, and gave himself two of them, nearly drowning them in syrup.

Sharla smiled. “Those do look good. Thanks, Ewan.”

“Thank Matyrona, not me.” Ewan said. “She’s better with the waffle iron. Mine either turn out burnt or undercooked.” Sharla got herself a plate of waffles and sat down.

“So I heard you have a furry friend now!” Matyrona grinned. “That surprises me. Gadolt doesn’t strike me as a cat person.”

“He’s not.” Sharla chuckled. “But it was three against one. Majority rules.”

“The thing’s a little shit. Last night, I kid you not, he pissed on me! Right when I was fixing to get some!”

Sharla put her fork down. “Do you have to tell them that NOW? I’m eating.”

“Sorry, babe.”

Ewan let out a snickering snort. “You got cockblocked. By a pussy.” And then he looked down and saw his son beside him and flinched. “Oh, hi Vincent. Go tell your friends their parents are here.”

“I think you used some words I don’t know yet.” Vincent, being the son of a male author and a female painter, was naturally quite intelligent for a four year old. He inherited his mother’s dark blond hair, and also his father’s less than perfect vision, so he wore glasses. He looked like a mini professor or scientist. He was always pursuing more knowledge.

“Pussy means cat. Cock means chicken. So it means…” Ewan had to think fast. “The cat took Gadolt’s chicken dinner. And then went around the block with it.”

“Oddly specific.” That phrase would probably never come out of the average four year old’s mouth. Vincent nodded and went to get his friends.

“Good save, dear.” Matyrona chuckled, then turned to her guests. “You know, a neuter would solve the problem of...bathroom antics in the wrong places.”

Sharla had finished her waffles. “The cat or the husband? Ha! I know it’s the former, but...I swear. How can a man who can hit a target at 20 yards keep missing the toilet?”

“I told you, that’s not me! Scipio’s only three! His aim ain’t that good yet!”

Matyrona was cracking up. “Same thing happens in this household. I’m constantly wiping off the toilet seat.”

“Ewan has an excuse though.” Sharla pointed out. “He’s probably never shot a gun in his life.”

“He hasn’t, but he should be able to aim THAT well enough.”

Vincent brought his friends back at that moment, luckily for the two husbands. Now they didn’t have to listen to their wives make fun of their bathroom habits. Scipio turned to his parents. “Can we do this again next week?”

“Yeah, can we?” Joan agreed. “Please?”

Gadolt smiled and winked at Sharla. She winked back. They both knew if a sleepover happened again next week, they’d have another chance for intimacy. And this time they’d make sure the cat was closed in the basement.

“Maybe next time the sleepover can switch houses?” Ewan suggested. Gadolt gave him a slight glare and whispered in his ear. “I haven’t gotten sex in years, man. And I told you what happened last night when I almost got it. If there is another sleepover next week...please host it.” Ewan nodded in understanding.

----

Now it had been a month since Bullet’s arrival. It was clear that he never had another home. He’d become the mascot of Colony 6’s defense force base, and was a lot less cranky since his neuter. He strutted around the base like he owned it and didn’t seem bothered by the loud machines. Even crotchety old Colonel Otharon enjoyed his company. Tuesdays and Thursdays were Bullet days, days when he was brought into the base by Sharla or Gadolt, depending on whose turn it was to be on duty.

Sharla didn’t believe Otharon when he told her he saw Gadolt relaxing on one of the couches with Bullet curled around his shoulders. Until it happened again and Otharon snapped a picture. Sharla showed it to Gadolt, and all he could do was shrug. “You caught me. I admit it, I’ve warmed up to the furball. He’s a tough guy like me.”

Only I got to keep my balls. Poor thing...oh well, he doesn’t seem to care as long as he keeps getting food.

 

Edited March 15, 2018 by Dragoncat