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CyberController

Things you're no longer allowed to do in Corrin's army

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1.  The hours for the hot tub are written at the door. Please read them, Corrin.

2. Stop trying to pair up people because "they look adorable together". We're in a war, Corrin.

3. Please tone it down, Niles. You're creeping us out.

4. Whoever told Felicia to become a maid can get bent.

5. Peri, please stop murdering servants. 

 

 

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8 minutes ago, CyberController said:

1.  The hours for the hot tub are written at the door. Please read them, Corrin.

2. Stop trying to pair up people because "they look adorable together". We're in a war, Corrin.

3. Please tone it down, Niles. You're creeping us out.

4. Whoever told Felicia to become a maid can get bent.

5. Peri, please stop murdering servants. 

 

 

But Felicia was maid to serve.

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7. Do not take anything Izana gives you that looks like an M&M.

8. Giving Peri alcohol is now punishable by public flogging. 

9. Stop asking Nyx how old she is.

10.  "Okay guys...using brooms and bottles and candles as novelty weapons was funny. Using Camilla's dildo collection is crossing the line."

Edited by Shoblongoo

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…and thus a new Forum game was born...

11: Odin I swear to Naga uh, the Divine Dragon that if you give one more ridiculous name to ANYTHING of mine there will only be two of us going back home. I'll let you think about which two it will be.

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5 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

10.  "Okay guys...using brooms and bottles and candles as novelty weapons was funny. Using Camilla's dildo collection is crossing the line."

OMG gross, those probably haven't been cleaned!

12: No more poking Saizo in the good eye with a stick while he's asleep. Last guy who did that literally lost a hand.

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13. We will all treat Hayato as an adult. No exceptions.

14. Putting your children into pocket dimensions just because you couldn't be bothered to end the war you're fighting before having kids is unacceptable.

15.  All sightings of people rubbing others' faces should be reported immediately. Your co-workers are not pets.

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22 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

 probably haven't been cleaned!

*maximum lethality*
 

22 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

…and thus a new Forum game was born...

11: Odin I swear to Naga uh, the Divine Dragon that if you give one more ridiculous name to ANYTHING of mine there will only be two of us going back home. I'll let you think about which two it will be.

16.  Odin: Please be advised that Rule #11 is retroactive to Rule #10. Under no circumstances is it ever acceptable to name a "weapon" DragonSodomizer.

17.  Never, ever, ever leave your poison daggers in the mess hall. 

18.  Addendum to Rule #17 if you leave your poison daggers somewhere they can be reasonably mistaken for kitchen knives, and they are mistaken for kitchen knives, you're in charge of cleaning up the barf and lava-butt from the resulting food poisoning. (Kagero)   

19.  "I'm not saying you CAN'T grow weed in the cabbage patch. I'm saying all agricultural work must be pre-approved by Mozu."

Edited by Shoblongoo

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19. Do not rest under trees. There is a dangerous Samurai on the lose that has a tendency to cut them all down.

20. Do not trample the fields, else you might anger the Killager. And no one angers the Killager.

21. Do not interrupt Velouria's treasure hunting. The last guy that did that lost a leg. It was probably the same poor chap that poked Saizo's eye.

22. Any mentioning of Taco Memes is strictly prohibited. Punishment may include getting a magical wind arrow to the face.

23. Never misplace stones or jewellery. There are at least two people that will get very angry with you if you do.

 

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58 minutes ago, PeaceRibbon said:

14. Putting your children into pocket dimensions just because you couldn't be bothered to end the war you're fighting before having kids is unacceptable.

PREACH IT! Fates did the 2nd gen so wrongly.

24. Who let Niles and Laslow have Tinder accounts? SERIOUSLY WTF!

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4 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

24. Who let Niles and Laslow have Tinder accounts? SERIOUSLY WTF!


25. Nobody tell Eliwood his mom is on Tinder

Related image

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1 minute ago, Shoblongoo said:


25. Nobody tell Eliwood his mom is on Tinder

Related image

26. Do not bring other Lords to Fateslandia if they don't have an Amiibo.

27. Also, no one tell Corrin that Azura is catfishing them.

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30. Keep Percy away from any Manaketes at all times, he likes dragons too much.

31. I am happy to announce that we will be phasing out the Lottery Shop for a brand new state of the art Loot Box Shop.

32. Should any incest occur with the army, please burn down the Records Hall immediately, history does not need to remember this.

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2 hours ago, Mad-manakete said:

But Felicia was maid to serve.

34. It is now forbidden to make maid puns.

35. Stop hiding your weed stash from Setsuna, Midori.

36. It is no longer acceptable to #BlameTakumi.

37. Seriously, Leo, cut that shit out or we'll ban your Twitter and Facebook accounts.

38. It is now illegal to protest certain business practices.  The loot boxes are staying, goddammit!

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39. No glaring at our Nohrian allies. I don't care if Nohrians killed your family Oboro, it's rude to glare and it's ruining morale.

40. Don't put a pile of gold in front of Anna and Charlotte and tell them to "Have at it." It took almost half a year to rebuild the Dining hall, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to eat raw meat again.

41. Never, ever let Arthur, Hinoka, Setsuna, Keaton, Velouria, Rinkah, Reina, NOR Felica cook. We nearly lost to kids when we ate their cooking because it was so bad.

42. This shouldn't even be mandatory, but everyone should treat everyone fairly and with respect.

43. Retainers should treat all superiors as if they are their lord.

44. Servants should serve everyone. Even if they're not Corrin.

45. If Jakob treats you like you're trash, you have every right to smack him.

Edited by IfIHadToPickADude

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1 hour ago, Ertrick36 said:

37. Seriously, Leo, cut that shit out or we'll ban your Twitter and Facebook accounts.

What is the said shit he needs to cut out?

46. Do not follow Kaden around chanting "What does the fox say? Ringdingadingding!" It makes him annoyed and grouchy.

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3 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

What is the said shit he needs to cut out?

Read number 36.

1 hour ago, IfIHadToPickADude said:

39. No glaring at our Nohrian allies. I don't care if Nohrians killed your family Oboro, it's rude to glare and it's ruining morale.

47. Everyone but Oboro must now grimace at her at least once a day.

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49. No peeing in the hot tub! We don't sit in the toilet and soak and relax.

50. No, Niles, you can't pee beside the hot tub either, everybody in the army has probably seen your dick at least three times and I'm going to start fining you for indecent exposure.

51. No, if I fine 1000 gold for indecent exposure, it does not mean 100 gold an inch, seriously Niles, I think you're a bit over confident there.

Edited by Dragoncat

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52. Charlotte and Anna are banned from Feeding Lilith. No exceptions. Lilith has a strict eating schedule, overfeeding her will not net you more gold, you two.

53. The arena isn't a training ground. Corrin had to spend 3 days recovering the jewels Hana gambled.

54. The Boo Camp is off limits to those who do not wish to die a most painful death.

55. Marth and Roy are banned from telling Kana stories of evil dragons. They will get scared and cry.

56. Azama is no longer allowed to give sermons. The Faceless jumped to its death last time, and it wasn't even alive.

57. Prisoners are kept for conscripting purposes only. Peri and Reina are not allowed to be in charge of the facility.

58. Whoever is singing in the bathhouse, stop. And don't blame Azura or Shigure, because they are a lot better than you.

59. Benny is banned from the Hunting Forest for his own safety.

60. "Skin you alive" is no longer allowed to be used as a threat.

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61. Any comments about Takumi's hair resembling any sort of fruit will net you swift punishment.

i really need to play Fates so I can make more of these 

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2 hours ago, Ertrick36 said:

47. Everyone but Oboro must now grimace at her at least once a day.

63. No glaring. At all.

64. Don't make flame jokes to Flora. She's terribly confused and it's affecting her work ethic to the point were she's basically Felica but worse. And the Divine Dragon knows that the world doesn't need another Felica.

65. Rules 42 - 45 are now null. Jakob is now banned from making any rules that contradict or repeal previous ones.

66. Soldiers are now required to march around the castle grounds in their underwear. Niles is now banned from making any rules.

67. The Accessory Shop is for buying accessories, not seeing what underwear we wear.

68. Don't send Selena off to do the shopping. We are already tight on money, we don't need to be in debt.

69. Males are now required to kiss before and after a converstation. Anyone related to Niles is banned from making rules.

70. Forrest, despite his appearance, is a dude who likes girls. Stop flirting with him.

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