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CyberController

Things you're no longer allowed to do in Corrin's army

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71: Camilla, please don’t  quickly turn around when somebody shorter than you is nearby. Elise is still recovering from that concussion.

72. Girls, please wear pants. Especially if you have a mount.

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45 minutes ago, CyberController said:

62. Please stop dating Sakura, Elise, and Hayato.

62(revised). Xander, Ryoma and Fuga are banned from making rules about their family inside the fort. You don't rule here, you three.

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73: Nobody is allowed to suggest that Xander just cut loose anymore. Elise is still sobbing after the last time.

74: Nina and Soleil are now forbidden from the hot spring.

75: You are not allowed to suggest "DragonSodomizer" as an offering to Lilith. You know exactly who you are.

76: Shouting at Takumi about betrayal is grounds for community service. In the Loot Box Hall. With Anna.

77: Charlotte is not allowed to get people to mine for her for "favours", much as almost everyone knows it's a con.

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5 hours ago, Hylian Air Force said:

56. Azama is no longer allowed to give sermons. The Faceless jumped to its death last time, and it wasn't even alive.

Alas, poor Bonejamin. He was a good Faceless the three percent of the time he wasn't hungry. Also thanks for that image in my head, seeing Garon and Anankos sob about the futility of even destruction and conquest was…awkward, actually.

77.7: Someone needs to start this game in the subforums for all the other games because let's face it this is too priceless to pass up.

80: No more chasing alternate versions of Corrin off My Castle premises with your actual weaponry no matter how disturbing or out-of-whack you think they look. They're guests, not invaders.

81: Continuing on, no more disturbing doting on or petting of alternate versions of Corrin. You know who you are, and no, it's not ok to have your own harem made entirely out of alternate versions of your own brother(and I shouldn't have to even consider also including female versions of said brother but I do, sicko).

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82: Whoever is in charge of organizing the layout of the castle, please stop changing the location of the caltrops. We only have so many bandages to go around, and we have used an alarming number of them on feet. Caltrops are now completely banned. In front of the bathhouse? Really? 

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83. Asugi is not allowed to be near children. We can't trust him to not actually steal from a baby.

84. Niles is not allowed to ask Fuga to use his wind powers to "blow people." I know he hasn't done it yet, but that doesn't sound good in anyway.

85. Don't steal Kagero's Diary. Last guy who tried to do that didn't live to tell the tale.

86. Please don't dare Effie to lift anything crazy. Like the castle.

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87. Nina is forbidden from the records hall after the incident on the 11th of October where much of the marriage records were replaced with poorly written yaoi inexplicably.

88. Soleil is no longer allowed within 50 feet of Ophelia at any time.

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This topic is amazing.

89. Peri is not allowed to cook with meats anymore.

90. No more having an alternate member of our army forge weapons every single time I go there! I've hired an actual blacksmith so you people can stop heading there for no reason when all you do is stand around there and give me one less Crystal than usual when I forge your weapon.

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93. Stop asking Anankos to do janitorial work, like moving misplaced villagers topics.

94. No corpse shall be left un-cremated, whether it be enemy or ally.

95. Peaches and fish are not an acceptable food combination, ever.

96. Neither are Takumi-shaped dumplings on a pizza.

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9 hours ago, IfIHadToPickADude said:

83. Asugi is not allowed to be near children. We can't trust him to not actually steal from a baby.

I read this as "not allowed to bear children" at first.

97. Saizo and Kagero, just because you're ninjas does not mean you can actually make yourself invisible or inaudible. Everybody heard your kinky ninja sex in the side of the fort by the bushes, and a few might've seen you, and I had to distract your son with cookies to keep him from walking in on you. I think you owe me a "thank you". Kagero, you were clearly faking that orgasm, tone that shit down a bit, okay? Saizo, you weren't much quieter to be honest. I NEVER want to hear EITHER of you say ninjas don't feel love or romantic attachments EVER again, judging from this right here.

98. Midori is no longer allowed to make pot brownies after an incident involving a stoned Asugi and a very annoyed "Son, I am disappoint" Saizo. Kaze, that's pretty sucky parenting if you "had no idea" your daughter had marijuana. While I'm not banning recreational substances, I have to draw the line at putting them in food. ESPECIALLY sweets.

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99.  Under no circumstances should you interrupt Effie's eating. There's a reason our food consumption is so high.

100. No taking Corrin's dragonstone from them. Please, for everybody's safty, don't do this

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101. Everyone, please refrain from asking Azura if she knows any songs besides Lost In Thoughts All Alone. She doesn't.

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13 hours ago, Dayni said:

73: Nobody is allowed to suggest that Xander just cut loose anymore. Elise is still sobbing after the last time.

 


Image result for savage burn gif

...savage....


102.  Pantsing Leo and shouting "NERD!!!!!!!!"  is now an offense punishable by sexual advances from Niles. State-sanctioned, uninhibited, aggressive sexual advances from Niles.

103.   Only Benny is allowed to play "These Hos Ain't Loyal" when Charlotte walks into a room, and he only gets to do it because they're cool like that.

104.   Hinoka's name is not "Gingy McThunderThighs." 

105.   Please refrain from starting religious debates with Azama. 
 

21 minutes ago, Corrobin said:

101. Everyone, please refrain from asking Azura if she knows any songs besides Lost In Thoughts All Alone. She doesn't.


106.  If you're going to teach Azura a new song--for fuck's sake, people--have some discretion. You know once she picks up a tune she's going to sing it every god-damn day.

107.  Whoever taught Azura "My Neck; My Back" is permanently banned from karaoke night. 
     

Edited by Shoblongoo

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47 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

104.   Hinoka's name is not "Gingy McThunderThighs." 

108: Camilla is not called "Ms. Thundertits."

109: Following the bunk incident, Setsuna is to be accompanied by a member of the army at all times.

110: Sakura is not an actual flower: do not plant her in the garden or crops, she will not create more food.

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111: Anyone who says that Subaki is perfect will have tomatoes thrown at them.

Edited by Corrobin

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112. No one is allowed to use tomatoes as punishment. Leo tried to resurrect the tomatoes in his grief.

1 hour ago, Shoblongoo said:

102.  Pantsing Leo and shouting "NERD!!!!!!!!"  is now an offense punishable by sexual advances from Niles. State-sanctioned, uninhibited, aggressive sexual advances from Niles.

113. While I do agree that doing that is an offense that should be punished; Niles is not allowed to instruct, force, or bribe others to make rules for him.

114. No one is allowed to instruct Dwyer to do any chores. Add Dwyer to the list of people not allowed to make rules.

115. Telling someone to "ask their mother on how to treat a lady" is ill-advised.

116. Sneaking sweets into Saizo's rations is punishable by a week of tutoring. With Azama.

117. Setsuna, please pick up your "equipment" after you and your husband are done. 

118. No one is allowed to say that they want to marry Corrin because they "are able to be married to them and ride a dragon too."

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119. Mitama is not allowed to speak in haiku anymore.

120. Arthur is to remain unarmed inside the fort. Yukimura was not happy about replacing that puppet.

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122. Flora is not to light herself on fire, we don't want to pour water on her again to save her.

123. Felicia is not to do chores anymore, she shattered every expensive glass in the local restaurant.

124. Flora is not to complain about the heat in the hot springs or she will face serious prison time.

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