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CyberController

Your least favorite character is now the Lord of their own game

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Gaius.

IS would fucking do it, too. They already put him in two games that aren't related at all.

I'd hope it's Gaius' quest to put himself in a woodchipper, but I don't think I need to explain what it actually would be. Gameplaywise it might actually be interesting, since it'd probably be stealth, but stealth missions in FE haven't been great.

Edited by Slumber

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10 minutes ago, Slumber said:

Gaius.

IS would fucking do it, too. They already put him in two games that aren't related at all.

I'd hope it's Gaius' quest to put himself in a woodchipper, but I don't think I need to explain what it actually would be. Gameplaywise it might actually be interesting, since it'd probably be stealth, but stealth missions in FE haven't been great.

Metal Gaius Solid?

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2 minutes ago, CyberController said:

Metal Gaius Solid?

I imagine it'd be more like Sneak King. Only instead of giving Whoppers to people, it's stealing candy.

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Iago Emblem

He leads his band of merry puppy-kickers on a quest to pop balloons at childrens' birthdays, loudly announce spoilers to new movies, pushes people in wheelchairs down stairs and doesn't wash his hands. Because he's evil.

At the end of the game, he loses his plot armor and gets a Yato shoved up his arse for attacking the royal family.

Strangely, little changes in Conquest.

 

Edited by NekoKnight

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34 minutes ago, NekoKnight said:

Iago Emblem

He leads his band of merry puppy-kickers on a quest to pop balloons at childrens' birthdays, loudly announce spoilers to new movies, pushes people in wheelchairs down stairs and doesn't wash his hands. Because he's evil.

At the end of the game, he loses his plot armor and gets a Yato shoved up his arse for attacking the royal family.

Strangely, little changes in Conquest.

 

I was thinking of something like that. But Iago is actually the hero. 

 

It's a switched morality game. A mysterious songstress comes and begins corrupting the middle child of the Nohrian royal family, tricking her into assassinating  the queen of  Hoshido. Iago, the loyal tactician of the  King, would have to find a way to take down the enemy Hoshidans, and save the royal family from the corruption, defeating Azura once and for all.  On the way, he recruits a misunderstood Berserker framed as a killer, a young boy with the ability to morph into a faceless, a Dark Mage with illusion powers, and a brave Master Ninja.

 

I think that Iago had a lot of potential that they wasted. I mean, we don't have a good reason why he hates the avatar. He even tries to get them killed when they're technically on the same side.(and with their siblings and retainers, which means he's risking the lives of the best warriors in Nohr over a dumb grudge)

Edited by CyberController

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Corrin has eight siblings and wants an intimate relationship with all of them, BUT, Corrin may only choose four...but maybe Corrin can have all of them? Gameplay is surprisingly good.

Alternatively, Jakob, a lowly butler, is the rightful wielder of the Yato, and he must side with Hoshido to save his country from it's own king. But he must also discreetly skirt over enemy lines to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for his master, a Nohrian noble. I think I would actually like him a lot more in this game than his own. Gameplay is mostly stealthy solo-chapters, until you convince the Nohrian nobles to join you.

Now lets do a non-Fates character, since it feels unfair to pick on it so much. Mathis quest, you must side with basically anyone who asks you without questioning why. Your party consists of tons of other characters sharing your class, but you are consistently worse than them in every way. Gameplay is probably not very fun.

Lastly, the struggle of Clive. You need to find a suitable replacement for yourself as leader of the deliverance, before you succumb to the pressure of responsibility. However throughout the story, you will constantly find unworthy leaders, and even be led by some of them for a brief period of time before firing(sometimes killing) them. Finally you realize your badass wife can do everything you do but better, and you make her the leader. But you're still kind of micromanaging her afterwards. You save Zofia, but you're pretty sure there's another problem you've failed to address. Oh well. Gameplay is mostly solid if not strange at times, with maybe one or two maps being absolutely abysmal. Note that I love Clive as a character, he's just managed to be a troubled unit in all three of my Echoes playthroughs.

I feel like I could come up with more, but I'd start picking on characters who are just not great statistically, like poor Clive.

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6 hours ago, CyberController said:

Did you read my post up there? That would be another idea.

I would rather Anankos never be involved in any story again. That's just because Anankos is the worst.

Actually, you know what? Anankos gets a story where he establishes contacts with Valla. It's a VN because if Anankos is as powerful as is claimed no strategy game could do anything interesting with that (except for god games. Maybe that's the sequel). Anankos's end goal would of course involve himself being a central part of Valla because of course it would be.

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5 hours ago, CyberController said:

I think that Iago had a lot of potential that they wasted. I mean, we don't have a good reason why he hates the avatar. He even tries to get them killed when they're technically on the same side.(and with their siblings and retainers, which means he's risking the lives of the best warriors in Nohr over a dumb grudge)

I had a headcanon of sorts that Iago is actually planning a coup against Garon, which is why he purposely attacks and sabotages the royal children (even in Conquest) in an attempt to get them killed before he goes after Garon himself. The whole "herpa derp, Imma kill the royal siblings on a flimsy pretext and hope Big G doesn't have me executed immediately" then becomes his final gambit, which unfortunately doesn't work out so well for him.

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Anankos Emblem

As you feel sorry for yourself in your little pocket dimension, watching TV over what's happening in Nohr/Hoshido, you see your child killing their "siblings" and thus making it impossible for them to ever obtain the true Yato. You're confused, but feel a little better knowing you can't be killed.

Then you wonder what the hell happened to that one chick who sometimes visits and picks up those mass-produced crystal balls you haven't managed to clean up yet.

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Soleil goes on a quest to hara- I mean, flirt with all the girls in the world. Lawsuits would be filed against her and quickly dropped because she is such a good girl and apologized before looking for her next victim. In the end, she would get married to a random guy, except the English text would still refer to it as "Best Friends" so they could score some woke points with the fanbase..

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13 hours ago, CyberController said:

Who are they?

Lucina, Lyn, Elincia.

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I can't tell if it's a good, or a bad thing that I want to see legitimate parodies of these ideas.

Anyway:

Tharja has to successfully court Robin while keeping every other potential suitor out of the way through the use of magic and other tactics.

Sereva is the tale of an annoying mercenary who was continuously fired by her various bosses.

Swamp maps hate everyone, and to act on their hatred, they force everyone to die a slow death of loosing 5 hp per turn. They also destroy any bridges or boats that dare enter their domain.

Fog of War gives everyone the middle finger by ignoring good examples of fog of war in other games and instead forces everyone to move without knowing what lies ahead.

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19 hours ago, CyberController said:

Okay, if your least favorite character is a lord, it's a direct sequel to the game they're in.

But my least favourite character is a lord in both his game and a direct sequel to the game he’s in! I’m out of luck then, I guess.

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Azura Emblem, a karaoke / rhythm game where nothing makes sense, nothing is explained to you, the few tutorials that are there are vague as hell, there's only one song with a rhythm that is completely off and you have to deal with a disgusting cross between something that vaguely resembles a human female and a disfigured octopus getting shoved in your face all the time.
And people will love it anyway for reasons that will forever remain a mystery.

Takumi Simulator, a game where you bitch and moan about how no one pays attention to you while all the other characters keep on telling you how "awesome" you are and totally not an unlikeable asshole that would constantly get his face kicked in in real life for telling people that calling you by name is a privilege you have to earn. And there's this one girl that constantly licks your boots and has a crush on you, but you don't notice because you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself for no reason.

And lastly, there's Forrest's Fabulous Fashion Fable, a bland dress-up simulator that is a rip-off of the far superior "Oboro's Outfit Opus". But it's starring a cross-dressing trap, so everyone loves it regardless.
Oh, and said trap has a tendency to smash crying children with legendary trees, but we don't talk about that.
We also don't talk about how said trap is a look-alike of the main character of that one obscure Nobility Simulator a lot of people loved. Why? Beats me.

Edited by DragonFlames

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Wallace loses his knight crest and must travel across Elibe to get it back from the clutched of every other armored unit in series history. It'll be a epoch for the ages!

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9 hours ago, NekoKnight said:

I had a headcanon of sorts that Iago is actually planning a coup against Garon, which is why he purposely attacks and sabotages the royal children (even in Conquest) in an attempt to get them killed before he goes after Garon himself. The whole "herpa derp, Imma kill the royal siblings on a flimsy pretext and hope Big G doesn't have me executed immediately" then becomes his final gambit, which unfortunately doesn't work out so well for him.

It’d be more interesting if Garon was a good leader, and Iago is manipulating him to perform atrocities instead.

Maybe Iago is actually from Valla, in this rewrite. 

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17 hours ago, NoirCore said:

Not gonna lie, this looks like one of these "bash your least favorite character" threads.

I personally see it as half "challenge yourself to make something good out of something you hate" and half "just for fun".  If people wanna get mad about each other's stinky opinions and just use this thread as another excuse to throw hostility at fictional characters, that's their problem.  I'm only here to casually contribute to the discussion.  Any negative opinions I spout here are exaggeration and not entirely reflective of how I feel, mostly because I have a hard time hating fictional characters.

On 3/5/2018 at 12:56 PM, CyberController said:

Okay, if your least favorite character is a lord, it's a direct sequel to the game they're in.

Oh boy, Fire Emblem Fates 2, let's GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This time, featuring six paths that splinter from the initial three.  You gotta pay $120 to get the full experience, and there will be a brand new loot box mini-game which will replace the lottery from the previous game.

So in the ideal sequel to this game, it's just a continuation of the world after Revelation (because let's face it, the devs would want that to be the true ending).  Corrin is to face the trials of rebuilding a broken nation, and is forced to fight dissidents loyal to Anankos (AKA left over Vallite ghosts/zombies/whatever-the-hell-they-are).  And here is where they learn that it is difficult to run a tattered kingdom with the naive, pacifist demeanor that supposedly prevailed them through Revelation.

Corrin is forced to make tough choices on the people of his/her own subjects, and if you do things wrong, Xander and Ryoma declare your nation a human rights crisis (yes that's right, there's a U.N. in this game, just roll with it) and impose hefty tariffs on Valla, making it so that stores have less equipment and you earn less money.  But then you eventually find the Vallite Forge, which supplies infinite ships, weapons, and oils to fuel a war against the other two nations and allows you to take your mantle as the true Sith lord Emperor of Fateslandia.

 

I have no frickin' idea how one could cram in a sequel to Echoes/Gaiden that isn't just Mystery of the Emblem.  Maybe it's Mystery... from the perspective of Celica???  And you just... stop little skirmishes across the continent and keep the peace?

Or maybe it's an alternate timeline where Alm takes the path of a warmonger, and you, as Celica, must stop him before he conquers the whole continent.  He isn't possessed or secretly an evil dragon or any other stupid plot device; he has just made the decision to "liberate" the world from gods and dragons.

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According to Fire Emblem Sorter, it's Validar. I think that could be cool. Maintaining an evil cult and manipulating events to fulfill destiny and bring about doomsday. Maybe they could showcase more of the Grimleal's belief structure, and explain who his wife was (although seeing how Robin is a customizable character, giving their mother a canon appearance might raise too many questions).

The sorter also says that my least favorite playable character is Jesse. I also think that has potential. You could found a nation of Mercenaries, and Kamui, Jesse, Saber and Silque could be involved in the story.

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1 minute ago, CyberController said:

Maybe if it was earlier Garon, before he became slimeman. That could be an interesting game.

I think fates would have been better if we got to see the real side of garon which is only briefly mentioned in a few supports and not the one note villain we got. 

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3 minutes ago, unabletofindaid said:

I think fates would have been better if we got to see the real side of garon which is only briefly mentioned in a few supports and not the one note villain we got. 

Maybe Garon gets cured from his control, and joins the party. 

This should have been canon.

 

 

Edited by CyberController

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