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Things you're no longer allowed to do in Chroms army


DisobeyedCargo
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101. To avoid Copyright issues, Gregor will never shave his head or wield a minigun.

102. Griffon riders are now allowed to wield swords so they can actually be useful.

103. Taugel's and Manaketes will now be trained in the art of hand to hand combat, and are allowed to wield a sidearm, so they won't have to rely on their stones so often.

104. On that same note, stone wielding units, please stay transformed! It saves on the uses of your weapons! And it prevents the animations from looking awkward as heck!

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3 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

101. To avoid Copyright issues, Gregor will never shave his head or wield a minigun.

102. Griffon riders are now allowed to wield swords so they can actually be useful.

103. Taugel's and Manaketes will now be trained in the art of hand to hand combat, and are allowed to wield a sidearm, so they won't have to rely on their stones so often.

104. On that same note, stone wielding units, please stay transformed! It saves on the uses of your weapons! And it prevents the animations from looking awkward as heck!

105. Disregard rule 104 manakets, we know about your degeneration problem 

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1 minute ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

105. Disregard rule 104 manakets, we know about your degeneration problem 

106. Taugel, you have no such excuse.

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108. Assassins will never attempt to jump into haystacks as an escape route.

109. Pegasi, wyverns, dragonstones, and to a lesser degree the jumping power of Taguels, will never be abused for those "jump from a high place onto soft/bouncy" dares.

110. Owain, and ESPECIALLY Henry will never be show Mortal Kombat. EVER!

111. Owain will also never be shown Killer Instinct. We don't need him attempting ridiculously long combos or shouting "C-C-C-Combo Breaker!" every time someone counters.

Edited by Hawkwing
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On 3/6/2018 at 9:47 AM, FRZNHeir said:

40. There is a set area for Olivia and Inigo to practice dancing, and only they are allowed there. Last time someone saw them, Olivia wouldn't leave her tent for a week.

113. Olivias husband is exempt from rule 40. 

Edited by DisobeyedCargo
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1 hour ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

113. Olivias husband is exempt from rule 40. 

114. And Inigo's girlfriend...  yes the 'girlfriends'... yes the 1000 of them that he ever asked for tea.

Edited by Nym
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14 minutes ago, Nym said:

114. And Inigo's girlfriend...  yes the 'girlfriends'... yes the 1000 of them that he ever asked for tea.

115. Only Inigos wife and Olivia's husband are Allowed in the dance hall

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16 minutes ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

115. Only Inigos wife and Olivia's husband are Allowed in the dance hall

116. And Vaike when he's drunk, he does a funny dance.

Edited by Nym
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2 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

117. Just keep him in his own enclosed area.

Away from Olivia and Inigo 

118. Dont bother the dead lords, they are the protectors of the regalia for a reason

119. Anna is not liable for any damages to your person if you travel to Apotheosis 

 

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120. Emmeryn is not to be pushed off of anything. A second head injury does not magically return memories.

121. On another note, all of Morgan's memory recovery experiments must be approved by the Ylissean or Shepherd authorities and only carried out under their strict supervision.

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122.  Be mature about the whole infinite timelines multiverse thing, guys.

123. You can't get mad at your partner for "cheating on you" because they S-Supported someone else in an alternate reality;. Infinite timelines means everyone is fucking everyone. In this reality Chrom is your sworn man; in that reality he's banging the dancer--deal with it.

124. Conversely; using the outrealm portals to purposefully seek out alternate timelines where you're married to women you never developed romantic connections with in your own reality and using said timelines to have sex with them is in poor taste, and just a tad bit rapey.     

125.  We can't actually ban you from doing #124. Infinite timelines and whatnot. But abusing outrealm portals in the aforementioned manner will henceforth be punishable by imprisonment in a timeline where you are married to Meg.

 Related image
 

Edited by Shoblongoo
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126. In light of recent events henry and tharja are now barred from casting any hexes for the next week. 

127.  Weekly search parties are to be held for Severa, Inigo, and Owain.

128. Unless it’s their own kid, Robin is to stay away from any of the present time children

Edited by Otts486
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129. Do not buy something from an Anna just because it is on sale

130. Anna is not allowed to go to another Anna and but EVERYTHING they have.

131. Anna may however stick to the shopping list.

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132. My Unit is out of control. You can't just solo armies all the time; give someone else a turn!
 
133. Robin is to stop referring to his penis as "My Unit." 

Edited by Shoblongoo
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9 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

132. My Unit is out of control. You can't just solo armies all the time; give someone else a turn!
 
133. Robin is to stop referring to his penis as "My Unit." 

You sir have won a million internets.

134. Robin is also to stop saying "hey baby, ever ridden a fell dragon before?"

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135. Please cut down on the jokes about Robin being a shipping lord (unless (s)he starts them). After all, you guys did agree to the S-Support system.

136. If Owain is to be shown anything, it is actual HEMA techniques. Reality can be more entertaining than fiction, and it will make him more efficient in combat to boot.

137. Do not attempt to approach, feed, or wrestle a wyvern without the help of their respective trainer/rider.

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138: Chrom is now required to allow any prospective wives to approach him: "wyvern in heat" is not an acceptable line to or from anyone with dragon blood, milord.

139: Inigo is not allowed to claim that Morgan went out with him but she forgot.

140: Maribelle is not allowed to bring Shepherds to brothels. Lon'qu needed to be carried out of the doorway and Olivia has still not left her tent since.

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141. Therapy meetings for Lon'qus Gynophobia are to be carried out weekly. He is also not allowed to bring anything sharp with him

142. Being short on pocket money is not reason enough to send everyone into the golden gaffe

143. Cherche's Minerva and Gerome's Minerva are not allowed to breed period.

144. No taking Yarne hunting, we still haven't found him

145. Nah has full rights to burn anyone that uses her name as part of a pun.

146. She may not however eat them.

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10 minutes ago, DisobeyedCargo said:

143. Cherche's Minerva and Gerome's Minerva are not allowed to breed period.

They're the exact same animal, how is that possible? Scratch that, I don't want to know.

Anyway...

147. Miriel may no longer put herself or anybody else in danger for the sake of science.

148. It is now mandatory for Gaius to be equipped with tissues at all times, so that his frequent nosebleeds won't become a distraction on the battlefield.

149. Also Gaius, stop playing ""Panne knight." It was cute the first time, but now you're just wasting her time.

150. Laurent, please keep a separate inventory for your joke weapons/spells and your actual battle equipment. You only have five slots of inventory, remember?

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152: Robin, stop mocking Chrom because he wasn't accepted in Smash. (Will he get his chance now?)

153: And stop asking his daughter out. We know you don't need ''Smash training''.

Edited by Nym
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