Men of Serenes Forest!

[Shoblongoo]

...when I first started drinking my freshman year in college...back when I didn't really know anything about mixing or what went together and what didn't...

I had a rum and coke. Good pairing. So being the dumb freshman that I was, I got to thinking brilliant. Coca cola mixes with hard liquor. Good mix. 

No--Coca cola mixes with RUM.  Only with rum.

...I didn't know that...

So I'm at a party. The guys are drinking Tequila. I'm trying to act like I've done this a million times before and I know shit. So I take one of those big red party cups, dump in a can of coke, and mix in some Jose Cuervo.

Guys are looking at me like "dude wtf are you doing???" 

I'm like "Coke mixer. Its good."

They're like "lol okay--thats gonna be fucking gross. Go for it."
 

 ...I had to drink the whole thing and pretend like this wasn't the vilest fucking thing I've ever put in my mouth.

#NoobMistakes

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Karimlan]

Local drunks here would drink gin and chase it with fruit juice (pomelo or pineapple).

@Shoblongoo: had absinthe? I did, some years ago, and I still remember the experience. It was that awful for me lol.

[Shoblongoo]

14 minutes ago, Karimlan said:

had absinthe?

Yeah I've tried it.

Don't see what all the fuss is about.

[XRay]

3 hours ago, GuiltyLove said:

wish it would actually rain there for once and not have everything be on fire

Logically, while I agree that rain is what our state needs, I personally do not like the rain and getting wet in general, so I am enjoying the fact that rain usually does not fall very much, if at all, during the summer.

As for the houses catching fire, I know that it might be a bit messed up to think this way, but part of me sees it as nature fighting back against humanity, so I do not really mind it happening. I will probably think differently if my house burns down though, so I guess I am a hypocrite.

[Interdimensional Observer]

21 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Yeah I've tried it.

Don't see what all the fuss is about.

The fuss is an aura of mystery, taboo, and other stuff which has been cast around it.

Some literary and artistic minds in the 1800s and early 1900s loved it, including the eccentric Oscar Wilde. 

Then you had French winemakers, who were severely overreacting to the growth of the absinthe industry in France in the same time period roughly, enacting a propaganda campaign to brand it as EVIL and extremely toxic.

Thus, the spirit got wrongly banned for several decades in some European countries. And what is forbidden takes on an allure which may defy its real quality. Like Cuban cigars, I heard once Castro nationalized the cigar industry, the actual quality suffered, but in the US because of the whole trade embargo with Cuba, the cigars being contraband made them more reputable than they presently should be in the US.

And then there is the art of absinthe with that green color, the slow pouring in of water over a sugar cube that causes it to get all foggy. And the optional, and very much against the spirit's flavor's best interests actually, setting it on fire.

Edited July 9, 2018 by Interdimensional Observer

[Karimlan]

23 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Yeah I've tried it.

Don't see what all the fuss is about.

My first time involved drinking it "neat" (no sugar). Didn't appreciate it too well.

[XRay]

9 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

And the optional, and very much against the spirit's flavor's best interests actually, setting it on fire.

I tried drinking something like that once. I think the drink was called Lamborghini, and the barista brought the drink to my table and lit it on fire. I do not remember what was in it though. It was pretty surreal to drink something on fire.

[MacLovin]

1 hour ago, Shoblongoo said:

...when I first started drinking my freshman year in college...back when I didn't really know anything about mixing or what went together and what didn't...

I had a rum and coke. Good pairing. So being the dumb freshman that I was, I got to thinking brilliant. Coca cola mixes with hard liquor. Good mix. 

No--Coca cola mixes with RUM.  Only with rum.

...I didn't know that...

So I'm at a party. The guys are drinking Tequila. I'm trying to act like I've done this a million times before and I know shit. So I take one of those big red party cups, dump in a can of coke, and mix in some Jose Cuervo.

Guys are looking at me like "dude wtf are you doing???" 

I'm like "Coke mixer. Its good."

They're like "lol okay--thats gonna be fucking gross. Go for it."
 

 ...I had to drink the whole thing and pretend like this wasn't the vilest fucking thing I've ever put in my mouth.

#NoobMistakes

I've seen people legit just mix vodka with coke or root beer. (myself included)

[GuiltyLove]

44 minutes ago, XRay said:

Logically, while I agree that rain is what our state needs, I personally do not like the rain and getting wet in general, so I am enjoying the fact that rain usually does not fall very much, if at all, during the summer.

As for the houses catching fire, I know that it might be a bit messed up to think this way, but part of me sees it as nature fighting back against humanity, so I do not really mind it happening. I will probably think differently if my house burns down though, so I guess I am a hypocrite.

ur crazy

[Shoblongoo]

34 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said:

I've seen people legit just mix vodka with coke or root beer. (myself included)

Less cringey then mixing it with Jose Cuervo; Vodka has a neutral enough taste that even if its not a complimentary blend, its not going to outright clash with anything.

Tequila and Coke is like--I don't know--whats 2 things that have absolutely no business being paired together...

...
...
...

Mixing Tequila and Coke is like pairing Sanaki with Gheb...

...and then letting Sain mount the resulting offspring. 

You're gonna get weird looks and have a bad time. 

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[MacLovin]

14 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Less cringey then mixing it with Jose Cuervo; Vodka has a neutral enough taste that even if its not a complimentary blend, its not going to outright clash with anything.

Tequila and Coke is like--I don't know--whats 2 things that have absolutely no business being paired together...

...
...
...

Mixing Tequila and Coke is like pairing Sanaki with Gheb...

...and then letting Sain mount the resulting offspring. 

You're gonna get weird looks and have a bad time. 

I look at booze in several ways

• Shitty beer is judged by price. If it's cheap as hell, then I don't mind. However, expensive, shitty beer can go die in a fire.
• Hard liquor gets judged on "does it make me gag?" when mixed with things or taken straight. I've had tequila with lemons before and it was ok. But shit like vodka and cream needs to die.
• How hard and how fast does the stuff get me drunk. (This isn't healthy, but I have high tolerance for some reason so there)

 

Coke is surprisingly not as versatile a mixer as one would think. But I've found fruit juices to be surprisingly versatile as mixers. 

[Shoblongoo]

55 minutes ago, Karimlan said:

My first time involved drinking it "neat" (no sugar). Didn't appreciate it too well.

There's a drink they have over in Asia called "Kaoliang." Fermented Sorghum--58% alcohol by volume. This is the shit the mongol hordes drank before they went on their barbarian rampages to get barbaric.

Tried some when I was over in Taiwan. No idea what you're suppose to mix it with; I just shot it straight.

That went down harder then the Absinthe. 

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Karimlan]

@Shoblongoo: I've heard stories of it, but have never seen one.

[MacLovin]

4 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

There's a drink they have over in Asia called "Kaoliang." Fermened Sorghum--58% alcohol by volume. This is the shit the mongol hordes drank before they went on their barbarian rampages to get barbaric.

Tried some when I was over in Taiwan. No idea what you're suppose to mix it with; I just shot it straight.

That went down harder then the Absinthe. 

there's some fun locally made stuff in the Philippines called Kulafu.

I'm still not sure what it's supposed to be, but I just call it "Chinese Whisky". 

iirc it costs like $0.50 a bottle and has like %60 proof or some shit.

[Shoblongoo]

2 minutes ago, Mister Rogers said:

iirc it costs like $0.50 a bottle and has like %60 proof or some shit.

...yeah that'll fuck you up worse then half the shit Duterte executes drug-pushers for...

60% is no joke 

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[Shoblongoo]

wait a minute...is it 60% or 60 proof???

1% = 2 Proof

60 Proof is only 30%. That's not bad at all. (most Whiskeys run around 40%)

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[MacLovin]

5 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

...yeah that'll fuck you up worse then half the shit Duterte executes drug-pushers for...

60% is no joke 

I have extensive personal experience with Kulafu

Back when I was living there and going to college there, we'd have this thing called a hobo jaegerbomb, which was a bottle of Kulafu mixed with a bottle of poor-man's red bull that was called "Cobra".

The entire thing cost like 80 cents USD and I wound up doing like 3 a day in my last year there.

yeah it's not that heavy, but it'll knock you out after a bottle

Edited July 9, 2018 by Mister Rogers

[Karimlan]

Ahh.. Vino Kulafu. That and the local energy drink (Cobra as @Mister Rogers mentioned) makes for getting fucked up on the cheap more hilarious.

Ever tried lambanog?

[MacLovin]

2 minutes ago, Karimlan said:

Ahh.. Vino Kulafu. That and the local energy drink (Cobra as @Mister Rogers mentioned) makes for getting fucked up on the cheap more hilarious.

Ever tried lambanog?

if it exists and isn't something crazy like snake wine, then I've probably had it in the Philippines.

yeah it's good shit.

[Shoblongoo]

Never heard of that one.

But I don't use drink energy drinks and absolutely refuse to use Red Bull (or anything like it) as mixer.

Edited July 9, 2018 by Shoblongoo

[XRay]

1 hour ago, GuiltyLove said:

ur crazy

I will take that as a compliment. All great men are a little crazy.

[NinjaMonkey]

4 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

wait a minute...is it 60% or 60 proof???

1% = 2 Proof

60 Proof is only 30%. That's not bad at all. (most Whiskeys run around 40%)

So that 120% proof Russian vodka I've heard of is only 60% alcohol? What a rip-off!

Edited July 10, 2018 by NinjaMonkey

[Interdimensional Observer]

1 hour ago, NinjaMonkey said:

So that 120% proof Russian vodka I've heard of is only 60% alcohol? What a rip-off!

That is just how the system works. The term "proof" originates from mixing spirits with gunpowder, if the gunpowder could still be lit after having the spirit dampen it, then the alcohol content was "proved".

Also, at one point in Russian history, the government controlled vodka production. When rumors began spreading the government was diluting the vodka, which may have had some truth to them, the people rioted and the government monopoly was afterwards broken.

[XRay]

Got any embarrassing stories? I kind of do.

There was a strategic meeting today at work and they were talking about how our department contributes to different strategies of the board.

I was dozing off around the middle of the meeting and I guess I fell asleep for a second or two, and my coworker poked me to wake me up. I felt a little embarrassed afterwards.

Since I snore when I sleep, I wondered if I snored for a second or two during the meeting. The more I think about it, the more embarrassed I feel.

[Shoblongoo]

14 hours ago, XRay said:

Got any embarrassing stories? I kind of do.

There was a strategic meeting today at work and they were talking about how our department contributes to different strategies of the board.

I was dozing off around the middle of the meeting and I guess I fell asleep for a second or two, and my coworker poked me to wake me up. I felt a little embarrassed afterwards.

Since I snore when I sleep, I wondered if I snored for a second or two during the meeting. The more I think about it, the more embarrassed I feel.

LEAD ATTORNEY:  *reviews documents* "This isn't looking good for our guy. He committed an exceptionally violent sexual assault--we're gonna have to plead him to something." 

ME: *reviews documents* "It says here she screamed no and told him to stop and was crying, and he kept going. But he stopped immediately when she said red."

LEAD ATTORNEY: So?

ME: "Red is a BDSM safe-word. If this was a consensual BDSM session, then he would not have known consent was revoked until she said the safe-word. He could have reasonably believed that everything before that was part of a rape-fantasy roleplay. He stopped as soon as she said the safe-word; no sexual assault." 

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Okkkkayyyyyyyy. But then we would first have to prove that this was a consensual BDSM session. There's no evidence for that."

ME: "The evidence is that she knew to say red to make him stop. That's not something you would just randomly say if you were being raped. Why would she say red if SHE didn't know this was a BDSM session?   

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Huh. That's a good argument. Yeah--we can use that."

ME:  "..."

LEAD ATTORNEY: "..."

ME: "..."

LEAD ATTORNEY: "Why do you know that?"

ME:  

 

Edited July 11, 2018 by Shoblongoo