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Inferno lizard

Heroes of the Triforce Feedback

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Here is a thread for feedback for my Legend of Zelda: Heroes of the Triforce story.

Here's the story: 

 

 

Edited by Inferno lizard

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I accidentally commented on the story thread before seeing this, so my bad. I'm sorry if you saw that.

Anyway...

It's... really good so far. I love the nod to the original game that you included, as well as the minor poke at the animated series. Pretty well structured, too. Overall, this is very solid, though be watchful of punctuation and if you're missing anything. There was no comma after the "Ex-CUSE you" line Niva said. It's a nitpick on my part, and the only mistake I saw, but I wanted to bring it up nonetheless. I don't want to come off as rude, so I apologize if I did.

As a little side commentary, I've always wanted to see a Zelda game with Link as a child and Zelda as an adult. I think it would be a neat contrast.

I know this comment was copy-pasted, leave me alone.

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20 minutes ago, AlmondJuice said:

It's... really good so far. I love the nod to the original game that you included, as well as the minor poke at the animated series. Pretty well structured, too. Overall, this is very solid, though be watchful of punctuation and if you're missing anything. There was no comma after the "Ex-CUSE you" line Niva said. It's a nitpick on my part, and the only mistake I saw, but I wanted to bring it up nonetheless. I don't want to come off as rude, so I apologize if I did.

As a little side commentary, I've always wanted to see a Zelda game with Link as a child and Zelda as an adult. I think it would be a neat contrast.

Oh, don't worry, there are gonna be more references. Plus, the man at the beginning is Link's uncle like in ALttP, and Niva is Navi with the vowels switched.

Also, hmm, that's an interesting idea, I might do that, but in reverse, with Link as the adult and Zelda as the child.

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2 minutes ago, Inferno lizard said:

Oh, don't worry, there are gonna be more references. Plus, the man at the beginning is Link's uncle like in ALttP, and Niva is Navi with the vowels switched.

Also, hmm, that's an interesting idea, I might do that, but in reverse, with Link as the adult and Zelda as the child.

Holy smokes, I didn't even see that. That's very clever.

Thanks for thinking it was interesting. You could play around with that idea to great effect, I think.

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12 minutes ago, AlmondJuice said:

Holy smokes, I didn't even see that. That's very clever.

Thanks for thinking it was interesting. You could play around with that idea to great effect, I think.

I thought about naming the fairy Ivan and making it a male fairy, but I decided against it. But if it was a male fairy, I think it'd have a british accent.

The thought hadn't occurred to me, but with the story I've planned out it could work.

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12 minutes ago, Inferno lizard said:

I thought about naming the fairy Ivan and making it a male fairy, but I decided against it. But if it was a male fairy, I think it'd have a british accent.

The thought hadn't occurred to me, but with the story I've planned out it could work.

A british accent, that's awesome.

At the end of the day, it's your story, so do what you want to do. Unless you had the adult Link and child Zelda idea already, then my bad. :sweatdrop:

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