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Corrupt a wish: FE edition


SMEDIA
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Granted, but your fan game becomes so popular that IS and Nintendo shut it down for “reasons”.

I wish that the next FE game had a character that was both a fortune teller that supplies you hints for each chapter and a typical dancer. The thing about this unit is that if they die, you not only lose your dancer, but you lose your fortune teller too.

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People bring the dancer in for the level, receive the advice, and then restart so they can replace them with a more useful unit. Besides, the hints they provide circulate on the internet only a few hours after the game releases, making the whole character pointless.

I wish that there was a unit that had control over rocks, and is pretty much an earthbender in everything but name.

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Granted, but this character can’t damage flying units, which makes them completely inferior to all of the other magic users when fighting wyverns.

I wish the next FE game had a character that was a hermaphrodite. This character excells at fighting with weapons and magic.

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Granted, they can S Support with anyone and it gets really awkward and embarrassing from there because of the way they executed this.

I wish there was an FE character (other than the Avatar/Player character) that was aware of saving and resetting like Mr. Resetti from Animal Crossing or Sans from Undertale.

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They guilt-trip the player whenever they reset, either telling them to man up and continue on with the death, or that if they were good at the game, they wouldn't need to waste their time replaying the level. If you try to have them killed, they'll yell at the player for an hour in an unskippable sequence about the dastardly implications of sending someone to their death simply because they annoyed you.

I wish that there was Fire Emblem Olympics game, with characters all across the series competing.

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Granted, but because of the cast list it's impossible to play with every character and takes forever to pick only one person and the game takes forever to load trying to pick out who the cpu's are going to be. 

I wish for the new fire emblem game to be on 3ds. I know someone is going to have fun with this out come.

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1 hour ago, TheWildestCat said:

Granted, but because of the cast list it's impossible to play with every character and takes forever to pick only one person and the game takes forever to load trying to pick out who the cpu's are going to be. 

I wish for the new fire emblem game to be on 3ds. I know someone is going to have fun with this out come.

Indeed I am

Spoiler

They decide to look back at previous 3DS games for inspiration.

To save space and make everything easy to model no one has feet NOR hands. They decided to reflect this in cutscenes, CGIs, and Portraits too.

They entirely scrap the trpg aspect and go full-on dating sim starring a protagonist who you get to make no decisions on apart from appearance. Every female character takes design inspiration from Camilla, and younger ones take inspiration from Nowi. There’s no limit to who you can attempt to romance regardless of age or relation. The protagonist is male only, and the other males feel like they’re just there for scenery.

Story progression is there, but it’s all progressed by very lame minigames.

Literally everyone kisses up to the protagonist. Emphasis on “literally.”

Supports progress slowly in the Western release. There were ways to make them go faster but they got cut in localization. Speaking of, the game’s dialogue is striking different in the west. Most DLC also fails to get Western localization.

Said game has 6 routes which each have to be purchased separately

Nobody in the army can have conversations with anyone but protagonist, story outside gameplay included.

They also fail to actually include any 3D, except for on the title screen where it’s glitchy, looks bad, and was added last-minute.

Most relationship supports end just like Male Kana’s

I wish the one Fire Emblem anime existing actually finished 

Edited by Arcphoenix
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The cast gets so large that they begin killing off characters just so they don't have to voice them. Of the characters that remain, it's plainly obvious that they're reusing voice actors to save money. The action is subpar, and the enemy is so incompetent you seriously wonder how they managed to take over much of the continent. On the bright side, the parts that are actually based off of the games story are surprisingly well-written. The sequel hook to Gaiden was also nice, even if nothing will come out of it.

I wish that the bandits were actually competent and a legitimate threat.

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Granted, but now every bandit you face in the early game has a hand axe and much higher skill to use it effectively, which puts your starting cavaliers in danger of dying so early.

I wish that Pegasus Knights were easier to level up in the early portions of the game.

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Granted, you get to face higher-levelled enemies just to train your Pegasus Knights, and these enemies are usually either a pain in the butt to kill due to high defence or Speed/Avo, or they nearly (if playing Classic) kill your Pegasus Knights no thanks to their high attack/speed.

I wish Scarlet didn't have to die in Revelation.

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20 minutes ago, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

I wish Scarlet didn't have to die in Revelation.

Granted, but she lives pretty wounded and she only appears in your castle.


I wish FE4 did not have such long boring maps

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Granted, but now the final boss is a god mage himself. He has such low HP and Def that defeating him is anticlimactic and unsatisfying.

I wish that there was an HP Regen staff that when used on a unit, makes it so that unit automatically regains all of their HP after each hit for three turns.

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Granted, but IS makes them lolis. Like, the hyper young kind. Also maids. 

Also, FE already has Cat girls, Tellius with Lyre and the other cat who's name I can't remember. Never used either of them.

I wish FE sucked.

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Fire Emblem now rocks and is considered thee best video game series of all time!

...Wait a second...

1 hour ago, DarthR0xas said:

Granted, but IS makes them lolis. Like, the hyper young kind. Also maids. 

Spoiler

Image result for anime trampoline

I don't know why, but that was the first thing my mind thought of when I read that sentence.

...And now I don't know what I'm questioning more: How I remember that that gif existed, or how I found it in the first place.

I wish that there was some kind of overkill mechanic, so that that critical hit against the enemy with 1 HP doesn't go to waste.

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7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Image result for anime trampoline

I don't know why, but that was the first thing my mind thought of when I read that sentence.

...And now I don't know what I'm questioning more: How I remember that that gif existed, or how I found it in the first place.

 

I think we just saw one of Hawkwing's darker sides...

8 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

Also, FE already has Cat girls, Tellius with Lyre and the other cat who's name I can't remember. Never used either of them.

Her name was Lethe. She was a pretty awesome unit in PoR, all things considered, though she sucked in RD. Which is a shame.

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

I wish that there was some kind of overkill mechanic, so that that critical hit against the enemy with 1 HP doesn't go to waste.

Granted, but it is now nearly required to get an overkill to get even decent EXP. If you don't overkill an enemy, they only give half the EXP and a quarter of WEXP. And before any of you might think "oh, that's not so bad", overkill only triggers off of crits, making any class and / or weapon without a decent crit bonus practically useless. You are also much more at the mercy of the RNG as usual. Oh, and the A.I. doesn't need crits to overkill you and if one of your units die to an overkill on Casual mode, they're dead forever. If it happens on Classic mode, it creates an autosave, so you can't reset and start over.

I wish all of the incest jokes would stop and the implied incest vanishes from any FE game.

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5 hours ago, DragonFlames said:

I think we just saw one of Hawkwing's darker sides...

Nah, I believe I found that during the phase where I realized that google images was a thing, and decided out of sheer curiosity to look up random stuff on the internet.

I learned the hard way that you do not look up random stuff on the internet.

I also learned the hard way that typing "anime" in front of anything out of sheer morbid curiosity is a good way to buy 10 jugs of brain bleach.

What I'm questioning is how the heck I remembered that image existed, and why it was the first thing I thought of when I read that sentence.

Besides, my REAL dark side Mortal Kombat look like a kids game. Seriously, I think I low-key traumatized my friend when, on the spot, I explained how many different ways you can kill someone with a folding chair.

1 hour ago, SMEDIA said:

I wish that the next FE game had demons and spirits as the main enemies.

Generic weaponry doesn't work, so they weapon triangle goes out the window in favor of Holy Texts, shotguns, and enhanced vacuum cleaners.

I wish that Fire Emblem Heroes had these kind of marketing campaign:

Spoiler

...I just realized this does not help my case after the statement I provided at the top of this post, but screw it! I want to see the perplexed reactions of the people brave enough to  watch this!

 

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Granted, the marketing campaign costs too much money and IS have to pull it down so they don't lose money.

I wish that skinship was in the international release, just toned down more to patting the characters' hair/fur (especially in the cases of Keaton, Kaden and their children).

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The suggestive dialogue and sounds are kept, creeping people out regardless.

I wish there was a Fire Emblem 4X game (Like Civilization, Mater of Orion, etc.).

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The Powercreep is real, and she destroys the meta, being able to be the first unit to octuple attack, has 1-3 range, and makes everyone hate her

I wish that FE1 was more playable 

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Granted, but it is now playable to a degree where it is considered the best Fire Emblem game ever made due to a mix of nostalgia blindness and the now fixed hiccups, and IntSys, becoming GameFreak for a minute, decides to make all future games like FE1 without evolving the gameplay, story or the series as a whole at all. Any and all "evolutions" made are so minor and intangible that calling them simple gimmicks becomes an understatement. Also, any change made will be met with only the harshest of criticism resulting in that feature being removed from the next entry without ever trying to fix it or finding a suitable replacement. Or they "fix" it, but by fixing it, they only make it worse. Also, they never address most of the major flaws and only change things that don't need to be changed, resulting in a hot mess of a game some Generations later that suffers from an identity crisis so major, you'd send the poor game to a psychiatrist if you could.

I wish FE Heroes wasn't a mobile spin-off with predatory gambling gacha elements, but instead a full fledged game on a console.

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