Corrupt a wish: FE edition

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted... but they kinda use memetic Pokémon to represent the characters (e.g. using a freaking Crawdaunt for Ryoma when CLEARLY he would take an Entei or Luxray) instead of Pokémon that would be much, much more suitable for them regardless of the memes. Some of these memes just end up WAY OVER THE TOP, which makes even you VERY disappointed (if you even like dank memes).

18 hours ago, Shrimperor said:

Granted, but you're not able to get any console that can play them.

I already own a New Nintendo 3DS, which can run normal DS games as well as the Virtual Console, and a Switch. Your wish ruin is invalid... unless you made me get only GBA games.

I wish for a Fire Emblem mod in Starbound.

[Hawkwing]

The only thing that is added is swords that are only effective against dragons, but because they don't add dragons to the game, it causes the game to glitch and bug out, eventually corrupting the computer as a whole, which leads to the internet being taken over, which results in robots conquering the world and humanity being wiped out.

I wish that there was a cowboy themed banner in Fire Emblem Heroes.

[AnonymousSpeed]

It features really, almost mind-boggling-ly racist caricatures of Native Americans transplanted onto Sacaeans, but it's honestly the most interesting Lyn has even been.

I wish for a Field Canon unit in Fire Emblem.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

This is the closest you're getting to a field cannon unit.

I wish that there was a crossover between Fire Emblem and OFF, but WITHOUT the following (OFF SPOILERS):

Spoiler

The Batter killing everyone in a quest for purification.

 

[Hawkwing]

Granted, but now everyone is killed by the Pitcher.

I wish that Fire Emblem Heroes didn't allow characters to be at 5 Stars right out of the gate.

[Shrimpica]

Granted, but you only have 0.1% chance to get a 4*, 0.4% for a 3*, 0.5% for a 2* and 99% for a 1*

I wish that all gacha games die the worst death imaginable. 

[DragonFlames]

They do, but they get replaced with full-priced games with unskippable ads that charge you extra for each ad you view. There are copious amounts of the most predatory microtransactions, lootbox-- excuse me, "sUrPrISe MeChAnICs" (f*** you, EA), overpriced DLC which you need to purchase to even stand the slightest of chances to beat the first boss, a Season Pass that is required to even get the complete game, which doesn't come out until two years after its original release, if that, ridiculous amounts of special editions, which you need a flowchart to keep track of which edition includes what, that don't come with the actual game and would be ripe for a fraud/false advertising lawsuit anywhere else but the game industry. Of course, the devs also have to work 100 hour crunch periods to develop the game, many of whom either die of stress, or at least get hospitalized, never to return to their jobs. Anybody that speaks up will lose their job on the spot.
Every game ever is also exclusive to online storefronts with more than questionable privacy policies, no shopping carts, banning users who buy more than one game from said storefront, and generally pissing about. Oh, and let us not forget about heavy, heavy censorship that will only increase in intensity as time marches onward, to the point where certain games will forever disappear from the face of the Earth. Of course, there are also massive amounts of subscription fees you have to pay to even access the games you want to play, needing to subscribe not only to a storefront, but also to a separate entity from which you can download your game, which - of course - you'll need to pay full price for. 

Does this sound like hell yet? Well, give it a few years and it will be cold, harsh reality. Most of these things already are.

I wish Fire Emblem had a mode where the game plays itself for you.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted. Autobattle. That's the closest you're gonna get.

I wish there was a way to stop everyone dying in the Birthright and Conquest routes (e.g. Ryoma, Takumi and their retainers not dying in Conquest).

[Hawkwing]

Granted. Now every single person in the world that isn't a part of Corrins army is dead.

I wish that there was a backyard games themed alt in Heroes (things like cornhoke, hillbilly golf, horseshoe, etc).

[AnonymousSpeed]

Granted. They're on a banner which only uses original characters- oh wait, that's already a thing.

I wish for Hanukkah themed Heroes alts.

[DragonFlames]

Granted, but some of the more... active White Knights deem it "cultural appropriation" and "offensive" (even though it's not and could only be considered as such in the eyes of deranged imbeciles), trying to force IntSys to change it while at the same time pushing the narrative that they have something against Jews. This very quickly devolves into a veritable shit storm of epic proportions, where I leave it to your imagination and common knowledge what kind of words will be thrown around like hotcakes on a food festival.

I wish there was a Fire Emblem game that has one of the horses the Cavaliers use as the main lord.

Edited July 1, 2019 by DragonFlames

[Hawkwing]

Granted, but when its rider is betrayed in battle, and they both die a fiery death, nobody mourns the passing of the horse.

I wish that I was Lets Playing my current run of Awakening.

[DragonFlames]

You do, but the moment you start recording, everything goes to hell. The RNG will be at its most unkind, the recording will stop exactly when something awesome happens, then resume after the awesome event is already over, you'd have to double check your recording software constantly to make sure it's still running, thus you lose focus on the game and make dumb mistakes the comments are just waiting to point out and call into question your ability to function as a living being based on some crap you had no control over.

If it's a screenshot Let's Play, the device/software you use to make the screenshots inexplicably malfunctions, twisting the images to something you'd never recognize as Fire Emblem Awakening footage.

I wish the creators of Fire Emblem actually read these forums.

[Shrimpica]

Granted. They also implement all the ideas in the Forums.

I wish that FE4 remake won't be as faithful gameplay wise as FE15 was to FE2.

[Hawkwing]

The game has tiny maps, horses don't exist, the world revolves around the protagonist, everyone's a celibate, the 12 crusaders didn't donate their blood, the "legendary weapons" are really just normal weapons that people revered because they were used by some ancient heroes, the weapon triangle doesn't exist, and Sigurd lives.

I wish that the Battle of Revolution was an actual Fire Emblem game.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Granted.  The Running Marth portion of the game is like a running minigame out of 1-2 Switch and it's actually necessary in order to progress the game.  Needless to say this doesn't sit well with people who are planning to pick up the Switch Lite.

I wish the next Fire Emblem game was released episodically and you would have to buy three separate payments of $14.99 for each chapter and there's 50 chapters in order to get the full game.

[AnonymousSpeed]

The worst possible outcome is true- the game is actually good. Worth the money? Most of us will never know. We do know that you need to buy a console specially designed for the game and only that game to play it, though.

I wish for an increase the average Warp stave per game.

[DragonFlames]

Watch as every unit that can't kill bosses very well becomes absolutely irrelevant!
Alternatively:
Every Chapter is a rout map, so Warp becomes pretty pointless.
Alternatively alternatively:
The Warp staff can now only transport units with lower Defence than the user. Every possible Warp user is a Cleric with a base Defence of zero at a maximum five percent growth.

I wish Fire Emblem replaced horses with unicycles.

Edited July 12, 2019 by DragonFlames

[Hawkwing]

Replace unicycles with motorcycles and I want to see this become an actual thing.

There is a high chance for the unit to fall over, causing some damage and wasting their turn. It also greatly reduces the units defense and avoid, so the enemy has an easier time killing them. The animations are goofy and humiliating, and their movement is worse than knights until they gain experience with the unicycle, which only increases by 1 experience point every time they take damage, regardless of the amount (except for 0. That doesn't count. Nor does Echoes "1 damage if hit" mechanic). Promotion actually makes the unit worse since now they wear a clown costume, causing the enemy to target them more often and gain increased damage and crit rates against them.

 

I wish there was a New Game + reward that gave every single character sunglasses for the entire adventure.

[AnonymousSpeed]

57 minutes ago, Hawkwing said:

Replace unicycles with motorcycles and I want to see this become an actual thing.

Fire Emblem: Hell's Angels

***

Granted, but all units in sunglasses take a -20 hit penalty. In addition, this mode dims the screen as if you were wearing sunglasses.

I wish for an extremely deep and compelling villain, but one who is also immediately charismatic and entertaining to watch.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, they die a horrible, horrible death. You immediately feel very, very sorry for them. It also causes outrage amongst the Fandom that he had to suffer as well.

I wish that Mr. Resetti was a boss in Fire Emblem.

[Hawkwing]

He becomes more powerful everytime you reset, yelling that you should beat the map like a man and accept the characters death. Unfortunately, due to a glitch, he mistakes turning the game off as you resetting, and he appears pretty late into the game, so you have to  keep the game system on all the time or else he can become quite literally unbeatable. Doesn't help that he appears when you least expect it, and if you're bad enough  you might even face him in the tutorial level!

I wish that the soldier who rhymed in the beginning of Echoes became a meme.

Edited July 14, 2019 by Hawkwing

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, it's a really bad meme, up there with Lobster Lord and Sponge Emblem Fates. In fact, it's so bad that you cringe at the very mention of it.

I wish there were more Fire Emblem games on Drawception.

[Hawkwing]

On 7/14/2019 at 7:09 PM, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

I wish there were more Fire Emblem games on Drawception.

On 6/16/2019 at 2:44 AM, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

I wish there would be more Fire Emblem on Drawception.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sure, games is a big enough difference.

They bring Fire Emblem Heroes into Drawception, except that you have to draw the map all over again whenever a unit moves. The battle screen has to be drawn all over again whenever a unit attacks. There are even more alts than Fire Emblem Heroes could ever have, and faceless mooks are the most popular characters in the game because they're easy to draw and spam. It takes half the day just to complete one turn, and full fights can last more than a week. Also, everyone is a five star, but the stars don't matter.

 

I hope wish that that the rest of Three Houses cutscenes one-up the opening scene in violence, brutality, and blood.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

They bring Fire Emblem Heroes into Drawception, except that you have to draw the map all over again whenever a unit moves. The battle screen has to be drawn all over again whenever a unit attacks. There are even more alts than Fire Emblem Heroes could ever have, and faceless mooks are the most popular characters in the game because they're easy to draw and spam. It takes half the day just to complete one turn, and full fights can last more than a week. Also, everyone is a five star, but the stars don't matter.

That's... not how it works. What I meant was I wish that more people in the Drawception community knew about FE and would either create more Fire Emblem prompts or respond to more FE prompts already created. Also, you need to look up Drawception to see what it's about. Please try again.

7 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

I hope wish that that the rest of Three Houses cutscenes one-up the opening scene in violence, brutality, and blood. 

Granted... but they kinda overdid it so 3H is bumped to R18+ (or whatever your equivalent is). That doesn't go down well in the FE community and IS takes a huge financial blow due to FE's younger players being unable to pick up the game. Thus Fire Emblem goes on a loooooooong hiatus while IS tries to recover from the lost money.

Not making another wish because my previous one needs to be redone, please.

EDIT: I just realised I made the same wish twice on this thread. I really am running out of ideas.

Edited July 20, 2019 by WeAreNewcastle1053