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Corrupt a wish: FE edition


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Granted.  It's unlocked by having a level 1 recruit Amelia pick away at Formoritis's health for a minimum of 100 turns.  After which the ending consists of all the world leaders and heirs of Magvel dying except for Eirika who becomes his bride to fulfill the happy ending part.  Hey, it's a happy ending for him right?

I wish Shinon and Makalov would compete with one another in a gamer girl bath water drinking contest.

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Granted, but it causes them to both fall ill, resulting in them going on a romancing streak before their deaths. Ten years into the future, 8/10 people are related to them because of this.

 

I wish for a pegasus rider rider class. (Not a typo. I mean pegasus rider rider.)

Edited by Benice
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Granted.  He becomes a standard lion compared to most units where he has no special abilities and his stats are lowered by a lot to where his transformation has little to no incentive to pursue.  Also once the beaststone runs out of uses, Ryoma becomes a totally useless unit.

I wish the Dead Parent Club would finally accept Eliwood's application.

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9 hours ago, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

Dunno what you were expecting there.

I had more in mind a pegasus rider with extra long reach, but I see how that could look very wrong...

Granted, but then they also have to accept Roy, Camas and every dad in the series since they will eventually die, resulting in the dead dad club disbanding in favour of the senior' water aerobics club.

I wish for a world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Granted.  It can only be obtained by S-supporting Rhea and then going to New Game +.  After which all of the game characters look at Byleth with awkward looks judging Byleths... personal disposition.  On top of that, everyone in Garreg Mach (even the gatekeeper) will only speak to Byleth with, "Dude... really?"  This means no access to shops, supports, or activities.

I wish Velezark, Anankos, Grima, Duma, and Rhea would all fuse together into one giant super big all encompassing mishmash of a final boss dragon.

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Granted, it is so powerful that no one but Error!Ryoma can defeat it, due to his ability to phase through attacks and hack stats. And the process to get Error!Ryoma requires you torture the shit out of him for ten chapters while he screams in agony as his mind falls to shit. After defeating the super powerful dragon, Error!Ryoma then attacks you, the player and renders your Switch completely unusable. Congrats, you're an asshole.


I wish there were more wishes I could ruin this way = )

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Granted, but Error! Ryoma either gets a good psychologist or gets sent to the Red Lobster restaurant by a malicious, weird and warped Corrin known far and wide as Benice, ending all Error! Ryoma corrupted wishes.

 

I wish for Canas to have a good ending in FE7.

 

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Granted.  It's only unlocked by having Canas never leveling up once throughout the entire game and you also have to sacrifice most of your units throughout the entire run in order for the conditions of the ending to occur.  On top of that, he has to have exactly 99 EXP at level 1 by the end of the game which is only achievable by having him dodge and not attacking opponents 99 times.

I wish Grado, in its drift after separating from Magvel, would collide into Tellius.

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Granted, but Error!Ryoma happened to be on Grado, and teams up with Ike (who becomes GenocIke) to hunt down all incarnations of Benice and give him a horrible time. They eventually haunt the real life Benice by frying the motherboard on his computer resulting in constant freaky BSoDs, and even the replacement computer is damaged, resulting in some horrifying "kill screen" 100 times scarier than each and every one of those "unknown creepy kill screens" combined.
 

4 hours ago, Benice said:

Granted, but Error! Ryoma either gets a good psychologist or gets sent to the Red Lobster restaurant by a malicious, weird and warped Corrin known far and wide as Benice, ending all Error! Ryoma corrupted wishes.

1) Nothing will save Error!Ryoma from his broken and shattered sanity. He is completely broken, running on nothing but the will to destroy everything.
2) If Error!Ryoma went anywhere near Red Lobster he would completely demolish it and kill everything inside. (then absolutely murder the person who showed him the place)

I wish there was more Fire Emblem merch.

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10 hours ago, Emperor_Siegfried said:

Granted.  It's only unlocked by having Canas never leveling up once throughout the entire game and you also have to sacrifice most of your units throughout the entire run in order for the conditions of the ending to occur.  On top of that, he has to have exactly 99 EXP at level 1 by the end of the game which is only achievable by having him dodge and not attacking opponents 99 times.

Sounds fair to me.

 

5 hours ago, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

wish there was more Fire Emblem merch.

Granted, but it's all FE memes such as Batta the Beast Body Pillows or pineapple Takumi pizzas.

 

I wish for Karl Azuz to be the protagonist of the next fe game.

 

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Granted.  Unlike Twitch Plays Pokemon, all of the video footage is lost to the ages for all time to never be seen again.  Except that in this case, all that remains is a single screenshot... of the games intro.

I wish Marianne von Edmund was reunited with her birth parents.

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Granted, but she finds out that they're both drug addicts with a severe alcohol problem on top of being the biggest hedonists around, and that they sold her off to Margrave Edmund for approximately 69 gold, which just so happens to be the price of some very low quality beer they like drinking.
And yes, I do feel bad about making Marianne's existence even more miserable.

I wish many of the Cavaliers and Paladins throughout the series had an actual personality.

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Granted.  They all have Cluster C personality disorders and as a result whichever one they have is a direct handicap towards their stats making them really difficult units to use.  And it only applies to the player units and not any enemy or boss units.

I wish Cordelia would get revenge against Chrom for not marrying her by marrying Lissa.

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Granted, but then Lissa takes revenge on Cordelia by marrying Caeldori off to Chrom, who retaliates by sending Camilla to replace Cordelia.

 

I wish for a tome in FE that summons a horde of cows to trample the enemies.

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It's possible for enemies to kill the cows and gain steak, which fully heals them and gives them a permanent +8 boost to their stats.

I wish that the word "Granted" appeared less often in this topic.

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Okay then. Your wish is fulfiled...
Wait, I need to ruin this... not just fulfil it...
Your wish is fulfiled, but people have to use more creative ways to "grant" then ruin said wishes. This leads to wish ruins that are more... creative (let's just leave it at that).


I wish COVID-19 was the final boss in a Fire Emblem game.

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Your wish is fulfilled.
It's the internet-created anthropomorphization (is that even a word?) of the virus known as Corona-chan. She has super OP stats and is only beatable by the Avatar's special weapon. Then after she is defeated, she will get an automatic S-support with the Avatar and the confession scene will be the mushiest, most sappy romance scene ever conceived by human hands.
There is also an unskippable NSFW version of that scene that appears if you didn't finish her off with a crit. Your highest crit chance against her is locked in at 1%.
And have I mentioned that this particular version of Corona-chan is a loli?

Why, brain, why?

I wish the above was not true.

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It is.

I wish that TWSITD wielded futuristic looking weapons that still fit the medieval setting. Like so:

Spoiler

D09CC33DE400146BE81399CE69C8854718E7F7A9EB2C8FAA6FF2113B3BA56B6594FD154106B7D18828A30315A76FEE37E46D239CB0EE6E61626583F09826DBB39355474492AD88745D24F7E07E501750018380836481EA28E414775878C8948CBDCFB6B75578CF8AC9D05FE94DCA0008836E4A5ACEF94880

Pictures from Shadow Warrior 2

 

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Granted.  As cool looking as they may be, there is absolutely no way to unlock them in the game and on top of that, trying to make a rom hack to make them accessible so that players can use them causes the game to break down and corrupt in the worst ways possible.  Also it turns out they are only as effective as iron weapons on top of it.

I wish Ranulf was transported to a far away land to a world where monsters ruled after playing the game like an ace and getting lost in that place to save the monsters from the evil Moo.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Granted, she's free at first when you get her but then when the month ends, you lose her unless you start paying a monthly charge of $1... which doubles every month.

I wish Zalgo would make Error!Ryoma his all powerful and all reaching servant on the mortal plane and be completely indiscriminate of whose neck meets his blade and who doesn't.

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Granted, but Error!Ryoma turns on Zalgo and kills him, having only been using him as a rival. He then goes and wipes out every Nohrian-lover in these forums, including you. You wake up in the anti-void as one of his puppets and you are made to do stupid dances in memory of how stupid Camilla's character design is.

I wish that there were more wishes with this much ruin potential.

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