Corrupt a wish: FE edition

[Dragoncat]

It's a success, so they start doing crossovers with more anime shows...and nothing else from now on.

I wish there were no longer any gender locked classes.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, women and men have incredibly varying stats instead, with women having high af Defence and Skill and men are superior in Attack and Speed, which essentially results in you putting women and men in classes based on their gender anyway (e.g. Great Knight/Hero/Blacksmith for women and Swordmaster/Berserker/Assassin for men).

I wish boobplates weren't a thing.

[Gordin]

Granted. They are now fully exposed instead, and because of this, every new girl gets written like Camilla

 

I wish Pegasus Knight was male only instead

Edited August 17, 2020 by Gordin

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Now the pegasus units only move one space every 5 turns because guys are too heavy for them to carry.

I wish DragonFlames was a Dancer unit.

[null]

Instead of becoming a useful unit in battle, somehow he finds Bee Gees music and dances to that all the time.

I wish Catria could S-support Marth.

[Gordin]

She can, but if you S support marth with anyone other than Caeda, Caeda kills marth and then herself, causing a game over.

 

I wish Haikyuu hadn't ended yet

Edited August 17, 2020 by Gordin

[DragonFlames]

It becomes a very bad Fire Emblem game instead.

4 hours ago, Emperor_Siegfried said:

I wish DragonFlames was a Dancer unit.

Wait, what? XD

1 hour ago, twilitfalchion said:

Instead of becoming a useful unit in battle, somehow he finds Bee Gees music and dances to that all the time.

I probably would do that, yeah. XD

I wish for the next Fire Emblem game to have a boss that is an evil frying pan.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Due to taking place in a kitchen where the gas is cut off, the player units are forced to use electric heat and have to use spoons as alternative to spatulas.

I wish Benice was a Green unit.

[DragonFlames]

His death causes any Pegasus Knight you may have on your team to immediately die as well.

I wish we were all Fire Emblem characters.

[null]

We all become Fates characters. Oof.

I wish that I had the same skill with a sword as most FE protags.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

At least we're not SoV characters, so there's that.

You have the skill but you also cause them to break into unreforable pieces of dust after touching them.

I wish Gordin actually was in fact Gordin.

[Dragoncat]

He appears in your house and says "Let em all go? But Marrrrsss" and "Doga did you see that shot?" constantly.

I wish I had the skills to make a FE browser based RPG.

[Benice]

Granted, but it gets hacked by an edgy 12-year-old who replaces all of the lines of dialogue with ones like "XD Boobis and butticks are hawt and I lookeded them up on google once it was very nice"

I wish people would actually play Berwick Saga so I would no longer be alone.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Since everyone plays it and becomes more well known, Nintendo goes on a suing rampage to the point of where they successfully stomp out every mention of the game and the rest of Kaga's post FE games.  After which they are able to essentially resell Berwick Saga as another FE game without any repercussions.

I wish WeAreNewcastle1053 was a cat Laguz unit.

[Dragoncat]

He's a laguz bandit that you have to kill. (They? idk)

I wish we could allow Claude to put laxatives in the other classes' food for the mock battle.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, but in the resulting mock battle, the classmates shit themselves and become very very stinky, causing debuffs to anyone around them. Eventually the Blue Lions and Black Eagles get used to the smell, while the Golden Deer continue to be debuffed by the smell, putting you at a serious disadvantage.

I wish Bernadetta turned into a psycho killer from the trauma of being abused by her shithole father.

[Dragoncat]

19 hours ago, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

Granted, but in the resulting mock battle, the classmates shit themselves and become very very stinky, causing debuffs to anyone around them. Eventually the Blue Lions and Black Eagles get used to the smell, while the Golden Deer continue to be debuffed by the smell, putting you at a serious disadvantage.

I can't see Edelgard getting used to that, Dimitri maybe? But lol.

19 hours ago, WeAreNewcastle1053 said:

I wish Bernadetta turned into a psycho killer from the trauma of being abused by her shithole father.

Congratulations, you made the infamous Bernie Chan copypasta into a creepypasta and it's still cringey as hell.

I wish I looked like a FE character so I could do a convincing cosplay.

[null]

You look like Gheb. Nobody wants to cosplay as Gheb.

I wish Yukata Lucina was an alt for her in Smash.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

It's so flimsy and weak that every hit, even the weak ones, deals 100% damage minimum.

I wish Dragoncat was a manakete unit.

[Dragoncat]

I'm in a romhack and it never gets finished.

(I actually am)

I wish there was a shapeshifter FE rep in Smash.

[Benice]

Granted. It's Corrin.

I wish for the next FE game to have less dialogue.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Benice

[Emperor_Siegfried]

The game has exactly one less line of dialogue than Three Houses and the as a result it manages to make SoV look like a masterpiece of writing by comparison.

I wish units could eat horses as a means of restoring health.

[WeAreNewcastle1053]

Granted, the units can defeat a mounted enemy and get the choice to eat it, but they are stuck there for two turns, one turn to cook the horse and the second turn to eat the horse and even then it does not restore enough HP to even be worth the wasted turns. Or if you're particularly cruel, you can get a mounted unit to eat their own horse, which is no different from eating an enemy horse, but said unit demotes to an infantry unit and cannot change class to a mounted unit ever again. Also, some characters will really hate eating the horse they've grown to love after time spent on the battlefield and recover even LESS HP, and will lose the will to fight, suffering massive debuffs. They will also lose all their support points with the Lord character, no matter what they started out with, and will revert to a D-Support, where they hate the Lord character for making them kill, cook and eat their companion, and both suffer massive debuffs if the two are deployed in the same battle.

I wish Fire Emblem Fates talked about mental illness.

[Emperor_Siegfried]

Everyone who has a mental illness of some kind is revealed to only be a projection of their subconscious within a dream and ends up being a completely pointless side quest mission where you can't even keep all of the gold and exp that you earn from the missions.

I wish units could just teasingly poke their opponents instead of attacking them.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Emperor_Siegfried

[Sooks]

Granted, but this will cause the entire enemy army to become obsessed with poking the player’s, having the same affect on their army, soft locking the game as all you can do every turn is poke the enemy and watch them poke you on their turn.

 

I wish Revelations didn’t exist.