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Rapier

SF's "Write Your Butt Off" II - Return of Writer's Block

SF's Write Your Butt Off! II Votals  

11 members have voted

This poll is closed to new votes
  1. 1. Which submission will you vote for?

    • "The Heart of Dedication"
      0
    • "The Strength Within"
      5
    • "Simply a Hunter"
      0
    • "One More Time"
      3
    • "Perfected"
      2
    • "No One Is Iredeemable"
      0
    • "Going Forward"
      1

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  • Poll closed on 03/09/2019 at 10:00 PM

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17 hours ago, Rapier said:

So far I've read the last prompts.

Rafiel's Aria

  Reveal hidden contents

Rather like the way you describe and write dialogue in your narrative. It was good to read through that prose.

There are some minor inconsistencies, like Makino being also called Yukiko, and Ashley being called Lark. I assumed it was because of vampire shenanigans (I thought they were both vampires and that they've changed identities to hide their immortality, which is why the different names come in, but noticed it wasn't the case when Makino was called Yukiko), but it turned out one of them was fine and the other was a.... werewolf, despite all the hints to blood and the neck bite.

Abuse is always disturbing to read about, even in a prompt, but I think you managed to convey the bond the victim had with their abuser. One thing that I particularly liked is how the victim could simply leave, but chooses not to, out of their affective dependance, because it feels like a realistic approach on abuse and why victims don't simply "quit" as if it were as easy as it seems. He also denies very adamantly that he's a victim, which is also common on abuse victims. The psychological approach seemed well written and you managed to convey their feelings well, I think.

My other problem is that there isn't a conclusion to your prompt. It's left open if the victim is successful on their attempt to cure themselves and flee from the abuse, or if they'll remain like this forever. It's subtly hinted by him searching for a healer, but what happens next is left open. But maybe it was for the best, since the story would drag on unnecessarily, because you've already said everything you needed to say.

All in all, I'm not a good judge, but I liked your prompt and it was a nice read.

 

Thanks for the feedback. In regards to your first paragraph, they were actually referring to each other by their last names. They've worked together for a while, but they're not really "friends" outside of work, so they usually just use surnames. Ashley prefers his surname during work, so very few people actually know his first name. So yeah Yukiko Makino and Ashley Lark.

I'm glad you could see my attempt to approach it semi-psychologically. I'm not an expert, so it's been a struggle to research these things and interview people so I can portray these situations accurately. It's something I'm trying to be really careful with...

I definitely left it open because this particular situation takes a long time to resolve (in novel years I think it takes close to 3 or 5 years to fix), so there's not really a simple answer. It didn't make sense to tie everything up with a nice ribbon and end it there. I probably could've done a better job wrapping it up in the end. Finishing pieces has always been my weakness. 

 

Congratulations, Chloey, and good luck in the next round, guys!

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2 hours ago, Jotari said:

Hmm. Not a bad prompt at all, but I'm really struggling to find any inspiration for this one. I have lots of stories in mind, but none that fall into this surprisingly common situation.

Oh dear :( and I was hoping it might help make that process easier....

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2 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Oh dear :( and I was hoping it might help make that process easier....

Don't take it as a complaint. It's a good prompt. I'm just hoping expressing my lack of inspiration will cause something to pop into my mind. I have a few weeks, I'll think of something.

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1 minute ago, Shoblongoo said:

lol now that Chloey isn't writing we actually have to wait more than 2 days to see the first entry

*shots fired*

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13 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

Oh no, I see where this is going.

Don't give me ideas. I'll try to forget the one I just had and focus on something else.

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14 hours ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

And thanks for the praise. I don't even listen to rap music, or know what "thot" means.

It means That Ho Over There, if my siblings spouting Begone Thot over and over again has taught me anything.

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5 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

lol now that Chloey isn't writing we actually have to wait more than 2 days to see the first entry

Oh I still might write something...and it won't be an official entry XD because I do have something most definitely XD

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Oh yeah, I'm sorry I never critiqued anyone's entries from the last round. I've had a lot of things going on, kind of. School, job hunting, laptop issues, etc.

Edited by Anacybele

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4 hours ago, Anacybele said:

Oh yeah, I'm sorry I never critiqued anyone's entries from the last round. I've had a lot of things going on, kind of. School, job hunting, laptop issues, etc.

Time flies for all lol XD

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On 10/31/2018 at 12:45 PM, Jotari said:

Edit: Looking at some of the other critiques, I guess the main guy was meant to be a manakete, but for some reason I took the reveal to mean he's half manakete. I guess my mindset was that if he was a full manakete it would have been more obvious from the start.

Honestly, that impression works just as well. I never actually considered it, but that's not a bad idea, and there's nothing that implies one heritage over the other.

I mention this because A) I found it interesting, and 2) I'm considering working with the same universe for this prompt, but I don't really have anything in mind.

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3 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Honestly, that impression works just as well. I never actually considered it, but that's not a bad idea, and there's nothing that implies one heritage over the other.

I mention this because A) I found it interesting, and 2) I'm considering working with the same universe for this prompt, but I don't really have anything in mind.

Haha. I thought that edit to my comment would never be seen.

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I decided on what I'm going to write for this prompt! I'm still not sure I can really get any better at writing than I already am, but it's fun to do sometimes regardless, really.

Edited by Anacybele

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Hey everybody.  Here’s my first effort.  This shouldn’t be too exclusionary, hopefully it manages to stand on its own as just being a little "buddy buddy" between two soldiers.

Title: The Heart of Dedication
Words: 3302
Fandom: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing

Spoiler

Everything had become desperate for the citizens of the colony when the news arrived.  The worst that could ever happen had come to pass over the hard-built peace that had been achieved by the human race years ago.  Yet is was all in the span of a brief few hours, all that had been achieved had begun to see the it being set ablaze.  Though many had aspired to see the nature of the human race become more than what it was in the past, yet none of it could be denied after so long.

The year is After Colony 214.  The threat of a newly ignited war is just as present as it had ever been in human history.

In the meeting room where a gathering of soldiers had grouped around a holographic map of the outside area, a Lieutenant Colonel of the only military branch of the Earth Sphere United Nations made her way into the room and prepared to offer a report on what they were about to face.  One of the Majors introduced, “Lieutenant Colonel Sally Po has returned with news of our situation.”

Sally confirmed, “The fleet has already entered the L5 cluster.  X-18444 has been reported as being lost.  From what we were able to see, it seems they’re getting ready to use that colony as a space port to prepare for launching an even bigger invasion.”

One of the soldiers updated the holographic map of L5 X-34111 and warned, “Colonel, I’m afraid that we are about to have a serious mess on our hands.”

Sally asked, “What do we have waiting for us?”

The soldier pointed to the space around the space colony when he pointed to a few blinking signals on the map.  He answered, “The force seems to be smaller than the first one, but it looks like they still have more than enough to handle us.”

Sally watched the blinking signals rapidly moving towards the location of the space colony that she and everyone was currently occupying.  Just one battleship containing several squads was enough to raise concern for her situation.  The sight of five however was enough to weigh on her and everyone as they saw the situation begin to lay out in front of them.

Sally couldn’t contain her concern when she cursed, “Damn… We have it worse than we thought.”

One of the soldiers asked, “Lieutenant Colonel, what sort of threat are we supposed to be facing out there?”

Sally answered, “I’m afraid that we have something worse than the worst-case scenario for us to look forward to.  We’ve got a first transmission from them and I’m afraid we do not have any room for negotiations.  They call themselves the Falson Coalition.  They’re out here to demand nothing less than our unconditional surrender.”

There was a gathering amount of whispers in the room as the Preventer soldiers pointed to what had been revealed.  Another one of the soldiers asked, “Where the hell did these guys come from?  And what are they supposed to even fight us with if they don’t have any mobile suits?”

Sally answered, “We managed to find out that much.”  Sally changed the holographic projection to present a new image of something to strike concern into them.  What appeared to be a Leo mobile suit had more armaments than even the mightiest from nearly two decades ago were able to carry.  Sally continued with her report when she told her men, “These things have been identified as Leo II units.  They’ve been making their way into the colonies and they want to make sure they don’t see even just a little resistance on our part.”

Another soldier pointed out, “This is nuts.  This Coalition or whatever couldn’t have the manpower to build up some big army.”

Sally confirmed, “They don’t seem to have that much support going for them right now other than the occasional squadron.  Most of them are mobile dolls.  No matter who is piloting them though, they both have one common target.  Us.”

Another soldier made his way up to the image when he took in the revelation.  This man in particular was a very familiar one to Sally Po.  One that she knew would have a very strong response to this sort of event.  The man asked, “We are all asking the wrong questions.  We are not even asking if we are prepared to face this sort of threat.  The only question we should all be asking now… Is how it is we all ended up here!”

One of the younger soldiers told him, “Hey pipe down!  We’re all trying to find out how we come out of this alive right now!”

The other soldier threw a punch to the soldier next to him when he asked, “We have leaders who did not serve their duty and all you are concerned for is your own wellbeing?!”

There was a growing amount of unease from the gathering of soldiers as they saw what was the start of a fight begin.  Sally stomped forward when she ordered, “Wufei!  That’s enough!  You know proper procedure!”

The older soldier was identified as one of the Gundam pilots of the Eve Wars.  Wufei grit his teeth as he remembered the proper manner of a soldier.  He shut his eyes as he helped the soldier he punched up to his feet before turning away and making his way out of the view of the crowd.

Sally knew the recent display was not offering the assured sense of unity they believed they would eventually move out with.  Sally kept herself firm when she reminded her men, “Quite frankly men, the situation is as shitty as it could get.  I don’t want to say that our situation is completely sideways, but we are not going to have it easy for us.  From what we’ve learned, these things pack more punch than our standard Leos.  If we do head out there outnumbered and outgunned, we have more than we could ever bargain for in front of us.”

One of the soldiers asked, “Then what the hell are we going to do sir?  Are we supposed to just kneel down out there and beg to be spared?”

Sally told him, “We are Preventers.  It’s our job to stop new conflicts from sparking.  What we have to do out there now is make it clear that we are not going to let them have it easy.  They are not going to have any more colonies unless they plan on losing more than they can handle.  That’s why I need everyone in here who is learning about this situation to head out there and have these things crushed before they can make another inch towards Earth.”

Another one of the soldiers entered the briefing when he asked, “That’s a great hype speech sir.  But I don’t think we are going to pull off any serious results with just mobile suits.  I get the feeling that unless we get the entire Preventer force to be concentrated in one place, we are not going to stand much of a chance against this force.”

Sally answered the concern, “That is why we have to use this time frame to make the escape.  Me and the primary team have to prepare for a trip to Mars.  The President has told us of something we currently have that will be able to handle these things.  Both teams are to stay back, pick off what they can handle, and then get out of here and make a break for Earth.  Everyone needs to know what we’re going to be facing, and we have to make sure that everyone knows about it.  More importantly, they are going to need every hand they’re given to work with.  Everyone who stands up tall and remind the enemy what they’re getting themselves into, that’s the sort of stuff we need to remind the Coalition what they are facing.”

Another one of the soldiers agreed, “That’s giving us a little promise sir.”

Another one agreed, “The course of history only belongs to the brave doesn’t it?”

Sally saw the crowd of soldiers nod in solemn agreement as they knew the fate that was waiting for them.  The knowledge of facing overwhelming odds that few would have ever imagined was enough to weigh on the minds of many humans.  But these people who stood before Sally were not average.  They were soldiers.  A last of their kind who were prepared to stand against whatever challenge was offered to them for the good of everyone they loved.  “It’s that kind of understanding that makes truly great men.  There aren’t many of us when we account for the billions who are alive now.  If we are fortunate, we will be able to see men of such devotion to duty be crafted by the flames of conflict prepared to end this conflict before it becomes something we all regret.”

Another one of the soldiers asked, “With all due respect Colonel, we’d like to know what it is you guys are planning to retrieve from Mars.  What gave us the idea to build something like that all the way out there and not somewhere closer?”

Sally was disheartened when she was forced to answer, “I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, but this is top secret information that we cannot let become public knowledge.”

One of the soldiers told him, “All we can do is trust in the Colonel and know that she will make sure that we are going to kick these idiots back to whatever planet they came from and stomp them there.”

Sally agreed, “That is what I want to hear.  Now we’re getting a smaller window of opportunity every second we stand around asking questions.  I want everyone to head out to the hangar bay and prepare for engagement.  Don’t let the enemy cause any civilian casualties and prepare to follow the mission to the number.  Dismissed.”

The crowd of soldiers all saluted to Sally’s order as they turned away and made their way to the hangar bay containing the only means of defense they would have for the incoming threat.

As Sally left the room, she knew she would have more than just her men to worry about.  The weight of the united Earth was about to be placed on her shoulders.  Who would be prepared to prevent this sort of escalation from becoming a mighty case of devastation was a question that had yet to be asked, but one that would certainly be at the forefront of the united human race.  Sally knew however that she was not the right person to ask this question however as she recognized her primary concern in the moment to be that of her men and her mission to reach Mars. 

The thing that concerned her the most however was someone who stood in front of her at the moment.  The man who was passionate to make his concern known in the meeting earlier.  “Wufei.  What was that out there?”

Wufei turned away when he told her, “I’m less than what I could have ever imagined.  All of this is making me wonder if I should have even considered being a Preventer.”

Sally was in a brief state of shock before she asked, “You of all people?  You feel as though that your cause is something to be questioned?  The day you joined the Preventers you would warn others about how important it was to be vigilant in order to maintain our security of peace?  You feel that a situation such as this one is one that has to be questioned?  That’s not the Wufei I know.  I expect you to be more than that.  I expect that you would be willing to look at this day and be ready for setting it right.”

Wufei revealed the true extent of his despair when he told her, “It was my mistake to make.  My belief that humans were becoming more than just a race that was determined to prove itself dominant over others.  Had I known better, I would have kept my loyalty to the Bartons.”

Many who would hear such words would easily be quick to call Wufei’s loyalty into question.  This was not so for Sally.  She knew what was truly wearing away on him.  She knew the Chang Wufei who was so hellbent on honor and living the proper life would never willingly cast themselves under the shadow of tyranny.  There was something deeper affecting him.  Something that Sally had come to known after the many years of seeing him become a man.

It was with this understanding she offered, “Humans make mistakes… No one is perfect after all and life is messy at the best of times.  So don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Wufei looked outside the window when he denied Sally’s offer for easing his mind.  He told her, “I don’t see how I can be.  I had almost a lifetime to be prepared for this sort of day and yet everything that I swore to protect has been going up in flames.  If they can’t be stopped here, how am I supposed to believe that the Earth will be protected from harm?  How is it that the Earth is supposed to remain standing and maintain everything that I struggled to make real?”

Sally made her way over to him when she placed a hand on his shoulder and told him, “I get the feeling Wufei… Especially for her…  It was something that you let yourself be more concerned about than even having any real relations with others ever since you joined us.  That’s why I have to be honest with you.  We don’t know.  Right now, those people are getting ready to beat us all into submission and we barely have much of an idea of how prepared we are to contain this situation.  That’s why I can’t have anyone believe that they are not worth being concerned over.  Are you going to let yourself be determined by just some mistake you made?  Or are you going to stand against it?”

Wufei was silent for a few seconds before he offered a small smile from the question.  He continued to gaze out the window when he answered, “Can’t believe there’s still some of that kid I was so long ago in you sir.  I lived twice as long as I was prepared to live, and I barely feel as though I’m actually ready to be that kind of warrior again.”

Sally stepped away when she told him, “It will be the least you will need to offer now.  Nothing that others do is dependent on what only we both want.  All that we are able to do is chose to do something to stop them, or do nothing and let them win.”

Wufei stepped away from the window before turning his attention to Sally with a more solemn look.  He told her, “The least I can do is ensure that those who harm others are not allowed to have what they seek.  That is what you want to hear from me isn’t it?”

Sally smiled when she told him, “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.  That’s why I want to hear reports of you offering nothing less than what you say you have now.  I’m just sorry that I can’t be here to make sure that you do.”

Sally turned away as she made her way down the halls when Wufei asked, “Where are you going?”

Sally turned when she answered, “We’ve got a team that’s headed to Earth already, they need to warn everyone what they’re going up against.  Me… I have business elsewhere.  I’m afraid it’s all need to know stuff.  Not something that the common soldier is supposed to know.”

Wufei paused as he recognized what his superior was about to do.  He couldn’t know where she was going, but only understand that she was about to attend to some business that was greater than what he was about to face.  He offered a salute when he told Sally, “I understand.  Please return successful.”

Sally returned the salute when she told him, “And you… You keep being that bold young boy who helped me take down Bundt all those years ago.”

Wufei agreed, “I plan on honoring your request.  With whatever I am given, I will be remembered as the warrior who lived for what was right.”

Sally smiled when she told him, “That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear.”  She turned away as she made her way down the halls and towards the nearby shuttles that were preparing her to make a trip off the colony.

Wufei turned away as he accepted the final goodbye that Sally gave him.  It was all that a soldier and a superior officer were able to give one another as the code of the military would offer.  In the case for both of them, it was the only thing that they could offer one another.  The long history of conflict and the one that was about to potentially unfold in front of him was what bound them together and their strength from this day on would be what determined if they were to ever fight at each other’s side once again.

This was not a warning to Chang Wufei however.  Not a dread omen, a threat, a word of caution, or what would guide him down the path of fear.  This was his inner most drive in life.  This was what gave him strength.  This was the fact that gave him motivation to walk forward without shame and with the intention to allow no one to suffer the same thing that he did as a child.  This was what would continue to make him a warrior until his dying days.

With the renewed sense of purpose, Wufei made his way into the hangar bays where he saw the squadron of old Leo units prepared to move out for their next mission.  It would be a matter of less than an hour now before the Preventers were commanded to move out against the might of the Falson Coalition, but few were able to allow themselves to let the anticipation weigh them down.  Not on this day, not when everything that built a united Earth was in its most desperate hour, needed to be protected from the forces who would threaten to break down everything that a generation had struggled to build.

This was what drove the hearts of the men who were at Wufei’s side as they prepared to move out and ensure their Leos were as prepared for conflict as well as possible.  In his heart however was the memory of the one who truly mattered to him the most.  The one who made him what he had become.  Not a nation, not a cause, only the memory of the one who mattered most to him in life even at the difficult age of his teenage years.

He no longer had something that would conjure up the memory of who she was in the form of a Gundam, mobile suit, or weapon.  Not an object that was important to a soldier being able to ensure that he would be able to change the outcome of a war just by his having it.  All he had now was the strength of the memory that lived through him in his heart.  He looked up to his Leo unit with the same reverence as he would for any weapon that he was about to use.  With that sense of duty flowing through him once more, Wufei moved towards the Leo unit and offered his final vow before stepping into the battlefield of the colony.

“Nataku… This one is for you.”

 

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21 minutes ago, Emperor_Siegfried said:

Hey everybody.  Here’s my first effort.  This shouldn’t be too exclusionary, hopefully it manages to stand on its own as just being a little "buddy buddy" between two soldiers.

Title: The Heart of Dedication
Words: 3302
Fandom: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing

  Reveal hidden contents

Everything had become desperate for the citizens of the colony when the news arrived.  The worst that could ever happen had come to pass over the hard-built peace that had been achieved by the human race years ago.  Yet is was all in the span of a brief few hours, all that had been achieved had begun to see the it being set ablaze.  Though many had aspired to see the nature of the human race become more than what it was in the past, yet none of it could be denied after so long.

The year is After Colony 214.  The threat of a newly ignited war is just as present as it had ever been in human history.

In the meeting room where a gathering of soldiers had grouped around a holographic map of the outside area, a Lieutenant Colonel of the only military branch of the Earth Sphere United Nations made her way into the room and prepared to offer a report on what they were about to face.  One of the Majors introduced, “Lieutenant Colonel Sally Po has returned with news of our situation.”

Sally confirmed, “The fleet has already entered the L5 cluster.  X-18444 has been reported as being lost.  From what we were able to see, it seems they’re getting ready to use that colony as a space port to prepare for launching an even bigger invasion.”

One of the soldiers updated the holographic map of L5 X-34111 and warned, “Colonel, I’m afraid that we are about to have a serious mess on our hands.”

Sally asked, “What do we have waiting for us?”

The soldier pointed to the space around the space colony when he pointed to a few blinking signals on the map.  He answered, “The force seems to be smaller than the first one, but it looks like they still have more than enough to handle us.”

Sally watched the blinking signals rapidly moving towards the location of the space colony that she and everyone was currently occupying.  Just one battleship containing several squads was enough to raise concern for her situation.  The sight of five however was enough to weigh on her and everyone as they saw the situation begin to lay out in front of them.

Sally couldn’t contain her concern when she cursed, “Damn… We have it worse than we thought.”

One of the soldiers asked, “Lieutenant Colonel, what sort of threat are we supposed to be facing out there?”

Sally answered, “I’m afraid that we have something worse than the worst-case scenario for us to look forward to.  We’ve got a first transmission from them and I’m afraid we do not have any room for negotiations.  They call themselves the Falson Coalition.  They’re out here to demand nothing less than our unconditional surrender.”

There was a gathering amount of whispers in the room as the Preventer soldiers pointed to what had been revealed.  Another one of the soldiers asked, “Where the hell did these guys come from?  And what are they supposed to even fight us with if they don’t have any mobile suits?”

Sally answered, “We managed to find out that much.”  Sally changed the holographic projection to present a new image of something to strike concern into them.  What appeared to be a Leo mobile suit had more armaments than even the mightiest from nearly two decades ago were able to carry.  Sally continued with her report when she told her men, “These things have been identified as Leo II units.  They’ve been making their way into the colonies and they want to make sure they don’t see even just a little resistance on our part.”

Another soldier pointed out, “This is nuts.  This Coalition or whatever couldn’t have the manpower to build up some big army.”

Sally confirmed, “They don’t seem to have that much support going for them right now other than the occasional squadron.  Most of them are mobile dolls.  No matter who is piloting them though, they both have one common target.  Us.”

Another soldier made his way up to the image when he took in the revelation.  This man in particular was a very familiar one to Sally Po.  One that she knew would have a very strong response to this sort of event.  The man asked, “We are all asking the wrong questions.  We are not even asking if we are prepared to face this sort of threat.  The only question we should all be asking now… Is how it is we all ended up here!”

One of the younger soldiers told him, “Hey pipe down!  We’re all trying to find out how we come out of this alive right now!”

The other soldier threw a punch to the soldier next to him when he asked, “We have leaders who did not serve their duty and all you are concerned for is your own wellbeing?!”

There was a growing amount of unease from the gathering of soldiers as they saw what was the start of a fight begin.  Sally stomped forward when she ordered, “Wufei!  That’s enough!  You know proper procedure!”

The older soldier was identified as one of the Gundam pilots of the Eve Wars.  Wufei grit his teeth as he remembered the proper manner of a soldier.  He shut his eyes as he helped the soldier he punched up to his feet before turning away and making his way out of the view of the crowd.

Sally knew the recent display was not offering the assured sense of unity they believed they would eventually move out with.  Sally kept herself firm when she reminded her men, “Quite frankly men, the situation is as shitty as it could get.  I don’t want to say that our situation is completely sideways, but we are not going to have it easy for us.  From what we’ve learned, these things pack more punch than our standard Leos.  If we do head out there outnumbered and outgunned, we have more than we could ever bargain for in front of us.”

One of the soldiers asked, “Then what the hell are we going to do sir?  Are we supposed to just kneel down out there and beg to be spared?”

Sally told him, “We are Preventers.  It’s our job to stop new conflicts from sparking.  What we have to do out there now is make it clear that we are not going to let them have it easy.  They are not going to have any more colonies unless they plan on losing more than they can handle.  That’s why I need everyone in here who is learning about this situation to head out there and have these things crushed before they can make another inch towards Earth.”

Another one of the soldiers entered the briefing when he asked, “That’s a great hype speech sir.  But I don’t think we are going to pull off any serious results with just mobile suits.  I get the feeling that unless we get the entire Preventer force to be concentrated in one place, we are not going to stand much of a chance against this force.”

Sally answered the concern, “That is why we have to use this time frame to make the escape.  Me and the primary team have to prepare for a trip to Mars.  The President has told us of something we currently have that will be able to handle these things.  Both teams are to stay back, pick off what they can handle, and then get out of here and make a break for Earth.  Everyone needs to know what we’re going to be facing, and we have to make sure that everyone knows about it.  More importantly, they are going to need every hand they’re given to work with.  Everyone who stands up tall and remind the enemy what they’re getting themselves into, that’s the sort of stuff we need to remind the Coalition what they are facing.”

Another one of the soldiers agreed, “That’s giving us a little promise sir.”

Another one agreed, “The course of history only belongs to the brave doesn’t it?”

Sally saw the crowd of soldiers nod in solemn agreement as they knew the fate that was waiting for them.  The knowledge of facing overwhelming odds that few would have ever imagined was enough to weigh on the minds of many humans.  But these people who stood before Sally were not average.  They were soldiers.  A last of their kind who were prepared to stand against whatever challenge was offered to them for the good of everyone they loved.  “It’s that kind of understanding that makes truly great men.  There aren’t many of us when we account for the billions who are alive now.  If we are fortunate, we will be able to see men of such devotion to duty be crafted by the flames of conflict prepared to end this conflict before it becomes something we all regret.”

Another one of the soldiers asked, “With all due respect Colonel, we’d like to know what it is you guys are planning to retrieve from Mars.  What gave us the idea to build something like that all the way out there and not somewhere closer?”

Sally was disheartened when she was forced to answer, “I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, but this is top secret information that we cannot let become public knowledge.”

One of the soldiers told him, “All we can do is trust in the Colonel and know that she will make sure that we are going to kick these idiots back to whatever planet they came from and stomp them there.”

Sally agreed, “That is what I want to hear.  Now we’re getting a smaller window of opportunity every second we stand around asking questions.  I want everyone to head out to the hangar bay and prepare for engagement.  Don’t let the enemy cause any civilian casualties and prepare to follow the mission to the number.  Dismissed.”

The crowd of soldiers all saluted to Sally’s order as they turned away and made their way to the hangar bay containing the only means of defense they would have for the incoming threat.

As Sally left the room, she knew she would have more than just her men to worry about.  The weight of the united Earth was about to be placed on her shoulders.  Who would be prepared to prevent this sort of escalation from becoming a mighty case of devastation was a question that had yet to be asked, but one that would certainly be at the forefront of the united human race.  Sally knew however that she was not the right person to ask this question however as she recognized her primary concern in the moment to be that of her men and her mission to reach Mars. 

The thing that concerned her the most however was someone who stood in front of her at the moment.  The man who was passionate to make his concern known in the meeting earlier.  “Wufei.  What was that out there?”

Wufei turned away when he told her, “I’m less than what I could have ever imagined.  All of this is making me wonder if I should have even considered being a Preventer.”

Sally was in a brief state of shock before she asked, “You of all people?  You feel as though that your cause is something to be questioned?  The day you joined the Preventers you would warn others about how important it was to be vigilant in order to maintain our security of peace?  You feel that a situation such as this one is one that has to be questioned?  That’s not the Wufei I know.  I expect you to be more than that.  I expect that you would be willing to look at this day and be ready for setting it right.”

Wufei revealed the true extent of his despair when he told her, “It was my mistake to make.  My belief that humans were becoming more than just a race that was determined to prove itself dominant over others.  Had I known better, I would have kept my loyalty to the Bartons.”

Many who would hear such words would easily be quick to call Wufei’s loyalty into question.  This was not so for Sally.  She knew what was truly wearing away on him.  She knew the Chang Wufei who was so hellbent on honor and living the proper life would never willingly cast themselves under the shadow of tyranny.  There was something deeper affecting him.  Something that Sally had come to known after the many years of seeing him become a man.

It was with this understanding she offered, “Humans make mistakes… No one is perfect after all and life is messy at the best of times.  So don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Wufei looked outside the window when he denied Sally’s offer for easing his mind.  He told her, “I don’t see how I can be.  I had almost a lifetime to be prepared for this sort of day and yet everything that I swore to protect has been going up in flames.  If they can’t be stopped here, how am I supposed to believe that the Earth will be protected from harm?  How is it that the Earth is supposed to remain standing and maintain everything that I struggled to make real?”

Sally made her way over to him when she placed a hand on his shoulder and told him, “I get the feeling Wufei… Especially for her…  It was something that you let yourself be more concerned about than even having any real relations with others ever since you joined us.  That’s why I have to be honest with you.  We don’t know.  Right now, those people are getting ready to beat us all into submission and we barely have much of an idea of how prepared we are to contain this situation.  That’s why I can’t have anyone believe that they are not worth being concerned over.  Are you going to let yourself be determined by just some mistake you made?  Or are you going to stand against it?”

Wufei was silent for a few seconds before he offered a small smile from the question.  He continued to gaze out the window when he answered, “Can’t believe there’s still some of that kid I was so long ago in you sir.  I lived twice as long as I was prepared to live, and I barely feel as though I’m actually ready to be that kind of warrior again.”

Sally stepped away when she told him, “It will be the least you will need to offer now.  Nothing that others do is dependent on what only we both want.  All that we are able to do is chose to do something to stop them, or do nothing and let them win.”

Wufei stepped away from the window before turning his attention to Sally with a more solemn look.  He told her, “The least I can do is ensure that those who harm others are not allowed to have what they seek.  That is what you want to hear from me isn’t it?”

Sally smiled when she told him, “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.  That’s why I want to hear reports of you offering nothing less than what you say you have now.  I’m just sorry that I can’t be here to make sure that you do.”

Sally turned away as she made her way down the halls when Wufei asked, “Where are you going?”

Sally turned when she answered, “We’ve got a team that’s headed to Earth already, they need to warn everyone what they’re going up against.  Me… I have business elsewhere.  I’m afraid it’s all need to know stuff.  Not something that the common soldier is supposed to know.”

Wufei paused as he recognized what his superior was about to do.  He couldn’t know where she was going, but only understand that she was about to attend to some business that was greater than what he was about to face.  He offered a salute when he told Sally, “I understand.  Please return successful.”

Sally returned the salute when she told him, “And you… You keep being that bold young boy who helped me take down Bundt all those years ago.”

Wufei agreed, “I plan on honoring your request.  With whatever I am given, I will be remembered as the warrior who lived for what was right.”

Sally smiled when she told him, “That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear.”  She turned away as she made her way down the halls and towards the nearby shuttles that were preparing her to make a trip off the colony.

Wufei turned away as he accepted the final goodbye that Sally gave him.  It was all that a soldier and a superior officer were able to give one another as the code of the military would offer.  In the case for both of them, it was the only thing that they could offer one another.  The long history of conflict and the one that was about to potentially unfold in front of him was what bound them together and their strength from this day on would be what determined if they were to ever fight at each other’s side once again.

This was not a warning to Chang Wufei however.  Not a dread omen, a threat, a word of caution, or what would guide him down the path of fear.  This was his inner most drive in life.  This was what gave him strength.  This was the fact that gave him motivation to walk forward without shame and with the intention to allow no one to suffer the same thing that he did as a child.  This was what would continue to make him a warrior until his dying days.

With the renewed sense of purpose, Wufei made his way into the hangar bays where he saw the squadron of old Leo units prepared to move out for their next mission.  It would be a matter of less than an hour now before the Preventers were commanded to move out against the might of the Falson Coalition, but few were able to allow themselves to let the anticipation weigh them down.  Not on this day, not when everything that built a united Earth was in its most desperate hour, needed to be protected from the forces who would threaten to break down everything that a generation had struggled to build.

This was what drove the hearts of the men who were at Wufei’s side as they prepared to move out and ensure their Leos were as prepared for conflict as well as possible.  In his heart however was the memory of the one who truly mattered to him the most.  The one who made him what he had become.  Not a nation, not a cause, only the memory of the one who mattered most to him in life even at the difficult age of his teenage years.

He no longer had something that would conjure up the memory of who she was in the form of a Gundam, mobile suit, or weapon.  Not an object that was important to a soldier being able to ensure that he would be able to change the outcome of a war just by his having it.  All he had now was the strength of the memory that lived through him in his heart.  He looked up to his Leo unit with the same reverence as he would for any weapon that he was about to use.  With that sense of duty flowing through him once more, Wufei moved towards the Leo unit and offered his final vow before stepping into the battlefield of the colony.

“Nataku… This one is for you.”

 

Hey wait a minute, I thought now we wouldn't have an entry in the first few days. Plot twist I suppose.

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3 minutes ago, DarthR0xas said:

Hey wait a minute, I thought now we wouldn't have an entry in the first few days. Plot twist I suppose.

Gotta love them plot twists XD

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I finished my entry! I actually really like how this one turned out. :)

Title: The Strength Within
Words: 3,475
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Awakening

Spoiler

The Strength Within

 

A teenage boy with chocolate brown hair and cerulean armor gripped his lance tensely as he went to stand in line behind other knights. He was preparing to register for a recruits' tournament, an event often held at the Ylisse Palace to test the skills of knights and soldiers in training. A drop of sweat trickled down the side of his forehead as the boy eyed all of the other contenders, many of which towered over him.

"I hate this line," he said with a sigh. "But I must show Father--"

Suddenly, the boy felt something shove him forward an inch or two from behind.

"Ah!" he cried. "Hey!"

"Oh! Sorry about that--" another male voice, certainly from above him, replied. "Ah, Morgan. It's you. Should've known. You're so easy to bump into. What are you doing here, Shortstuff?"

"Stop that!" Morgan retorted. "I'm here to enter the tournament. I'm a new recruit just like everyone else here."

The other knight, a taller and bulkier young man with dark green hair, allowed a goofy grin to paint his features.

"Heh, well of course, I suppose.  You still think you can be on the level of the rest of us, eh?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Morgan, come on. You have resolve, and you may be the knight captain's kid, but really. You're going to have a hard time being a good soldier with that small body. You won't go far in this tourney. Your sister looks like she might outgrow you!"

"Shut up! Th-That doesn't matter! I've followed my father's training regimens completely and you wouldn't believe how strict they are!"

"Ha, I doubt it. I wouldn't be surprised if he takes it easy on you. You need real physical strength and defensive capabilities. You can't have that being small. You'll get shoved around too easily."

"I will not! Leave me alone! And my dad does not go easy on me!"

"Well look at Captain Frederick! He's strong, bulky, and tall. He's taller than the king! I do wonder how you're even as small as you are with him as your father though. Are your parents not feeding you enough of the right foods? Or...did your mom actually cheat on your dad at some point?"

This time, Morgan gritted his teeth and his face turned a blood red.

"HOW...HOW DARE YOU?! YOU DASTARD!!"

With that, the boy threw down his lance and launched a tight fist right into the taller knight's face. Despite Morgan being shorter, he actually hit him with enough force to send him stumbling. The knight maintained his footing, however, and gasped when he saw blood trickle from his nose to his fingers. Bystanders were now gasping and cupping their mouths with their hands. However, Morgan wasn't done with the man, as he launched himself into his body, forcing him to the floor for real.

"NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT!" Morgan continued, his eyes as fiery as a bonfire.

He attempted to throw his fist at the man again, but two guards came rushing over and yanked the boy off of him.

"Hey! LET GO OF ME!"

"Enough of this, recruit! Such behavior is not acceptable and we cannot allow you to register for this tournament if you act like this."

"AAGH! ...What the...? You stupid pipsqueak! You're a lunatic!" the knight Morgan had attacked added, placing a hand to his still bleeding nose.

"You go get yourself cleaned up," one of the guards ordered.

A bystander who was also a knight soon stepped in.

"Sirs, I overheard their conversation. That man said some really mean things to the boy, something about his mother cheating on his father," the bystander reported. "That was uncalled for."

"Yeah, and he made fun of my height!" Morgan added, sniffling and feeling his eyes go glassy. "It's the truth!"

"I see. Then we'll talk to him about that," the other guard promised. "But for now, you are to leave this hall and report yourself to Captain Frederick."

"Ugh..." Morgan uttered. "Fine..."

With that, the boy picked his lance up and stormed off. He did not want the other soldiers see tears stream down his face anyway. Though he also was not in the mood to speak with anyone, even his father. Especially not him. Frederick was strict, just as Morgan had said, and would not at all be pleased to learn that his son had caused a scene and assaulted a fellow knight. He probably would bar him from the tournament entirely. Hell, Morgan wouldn't be surprised if his mother and the army's tactician, Lady Kelli, supported any punishment Frederick gave him. She was not as strict as her husband, but over their current near two decade marriage, he had rubbed off a little bit on her.

For a little while, Morgan just wandered through a few halls in the palace, paying attention to no one around him. One maid asked him if she could help him, but of course he said no. He just let himself and his mind continue wandering, until he felt like returning to his quarters and preparing to meet with his father.

Why do I have to be short...? Why did I have to be a premature birth? Morgan wondered to himself, sniffling again. Another tear trickled down his cheek.

"I did make that guy stumble when I punched him, but..." he said to himself. "He didn't move much. I hoped to knock him to the floor... Instead I had to throw my whole body on him to do it."

He let out a sigh as he began viewing his faint reflection in a palace window.

"Maybe I really can only go so far with my size..."

"Now don't you say that!" a familiar, young feminine voice interrupted, jerking Morgan out of his trance.

The boy turned to see his mother, garbed in her Pegasus riding armor, her long curly teal ponytail trailing behind her. With her was a girl who resembled her, except her teal ponytail was thicker and straighter, and accented by a purple bow. She was also dressed in matching riding gear and carrying a healing staff. The girl was slightly taller, as was Morgan.

"Uh! Annie, Mother," Morgan greeted, quickly wiping his eyes. Maybe Annie is going to outgrow me. How embarrassing...

"Morgan, we heard what happened," Kelli said rather bluntly.

"Yeah," Antoinette added. "I'm going to be Sir Ike level blunt here, Morgan. How could you let that idiot rile you up like that, you dope?! Father will not be pleased at all!"

"Antoinette, you do not need to call your brother names," Kelli stepped in. "However, Morgan, she is right that you have to keep a level head if you want to be the best knight you can be. Your father has told you this."

"I know, but..." Morgan began. "I'm just so sick of people saying I can't fight because I'm smaller! My size shouldn't matter! And to hear that guy say what he said about you, it just made me..."

"I understand. I don't blame you for being angry about that. Your size really shouldn't matter that much. And I would have never done such a thing to your father. I am seeing to it that that young man is punished for saying those things."

"Thanks. I don't feel like talking right now though. Can we do this later?"

"No! Morgan, you really need to talk to Father," Antoinette insisted. "You can't hide this from him. He would only be angrier!"

"Well yeah, I'm not going to hide it. That's impossible anyway. You both already heard, so eventually word will reach him too," Morgan pointed out.

"It's best if you go tell him yourself," Kelli said.

"I know. I will at some point. I want to go to my room right now though."

"Well, I guess I can't get through to you here," Antoinette replied. "But Morgan, just know that I always think of you as my big brother, no matter what. Even if I end up being taller. I swear it."

"I hope you don't just say that to make me feel better."

"No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous, I'd never lie about that."

"Well, thanks. I do appreciate that. See you both later."

With that, Morgan walked away, this time towards his quarters, which were at the palace's large barracks. Kelli wished she could say more to her son, but she could only sigh as she turned to her daughter.

"Antoinette, why don't you go let Ralph know what's going on and see how Polly's doing? It's been a year or so, but she may still be working on adjusting to this life after Ralph found and adopted her. I have to speak to your father."

"Alright. And goodness knows, that little taguel girl never doesn't want to spend time with me. It's almost overbearing!"

"Heh, well, it's still good that she has someone besides Ralph that she can trust in and love."

"That's true. Well, I'll be off then!"

Antoinette then departed from her mother as well, leaving Kelli to head upstairs to where her husband surely was. Frederick spent a lot of time giving reports to King Chrom and Queen Olivia and doing various other things for them. He was as dedicated to his duties as one could get, sometimes to the point of absurdity. Probably his favorite things to do were clear pebbles from the roads and paths so no one tripped on them and do "landscaping" around his liege's tent if they went camping. He was always in charge of building the campfires as well, something else he really loved.

Kelli approached the large ornate doors to the throne room and opened them. Just as she had figured, Frederick was inside, reading off of a scroll to the king and queen. As always, he was garbed in his heavy light blue armor, and his hair, the same chocolate brown as their son's, had the uncharacteristically messy spikes in the back that she never didn't love.

"Sorry to interrupt, everyone," Kelli spoke up. "I'm going to need my husband for a few minutes."

"Oh, Kelli. What's going on?" Chrom wondered.

"Did something happen?" Olivia added. Her long pink curls bounced behind her.

"Yes, I do hope it's not dire," Frederick said. "I have duties that I must attend to."

"I know, Frederick dear," Kelli replied. "But this concerns your son. Morgan...got into an altercation downstairs at the tournament registration. And they want to bar him from the tournament now. He doesn't want to talk to you yet, so I'm asking you to help. I already spoke with him, but you would be better suited to helping him in this case. You're the knight captain, after all. As well as his father."

Frederick lowered the scroll he was holding and let out a long sigh.

"...I see," was all he said at first. "Why exactly did he do this?"

"I think it's best if he explained it to you. I also told him that. Please, I know you have things to do, but talk to your son. He needs your support."

"Hmm. I understand."

"Frederick, this does sound like a bad situation," Chrom agreed. "You should go talk to Morgan. Your family is important, more important than your duties right now."

"You're right, Milord," Frederick replied. "Thank you."

"I do hope he will be okay," Olivia voiced. "You can tell him we're both here for him. Lucina and Inigo would say the same too."

"Much obliged, Milady."

"Thank you, Freddy Bear," Kelli replied, shooting a loving smile with the affectionate nickname she'd used for her husband for years. Frederick used to cringe at it, but over time he accepted it, knowing that it was one of his wife's ways of showing him how much she loved him. However, he did wish she would only use it when they were alone. For the sake of keeping himself composed in front of his lieges, however, Frederick had to let it slide when they were present.

"I last saw Morgan heading to his quarters. You should find him there," Kelli continued. "Oh, but Frederick... I will tell you that Morgan's behavior was somewhat justified. Don't...go too hard on him."

"Alright. I should hope he had a good reason, in any case. I shall do what I can."

Frederick then put his scroll away and departed the throne room. He made his way downstairs to the barracks. He had made a note long ago to remember where both his son and daughter stayed inside the barracks, as well as keep a document telling which soldier stayed in which room. This way he could easily know if anyone did not or could not report to a meeting or mission one day. It would not do to have a soldier go missing and him not know of this until it was too late. When Frederick approached his son's room, he gently knocked.

"Morgan, it's me," he said. "May I come in?"

"...Oh, Father," Morgan replied. "...Sure."

He knew he could not say no to his father now. He would only feel even worse and probably make the situation worse too. Frederick then entered and gently closed the door behind him. Morgan had stripped himself of his armor and was lying on his bed, one of Kelli's tactics books in his hands.

"I see you're further studying your mother's strategies," Frederick said, sitting down next to his son.

"Yeah. I figured I might as well right now," Morgan replied. "I think it's going well."

"That's good to hear," Frederick commented with a smile. "However, I came to discuss what occurred today. Your mother informed me."

"She told you?" Morgan said in irritation, taking his eyes away from the book. "Ugh. I should've known."

"Well, not every detail. She did say that you ought to be the one to explain the rest. But Morgan, I will not lie. I am extremely disappointed in you. This is not the boy I raised into a knight."

"I...I know. I will explain since you're here now. I'm really sorry, Dad..."

Morgan then described the taller knight and what he had done, making sure not to leave out anything either young man had said. He also admitted to the assault, tears beginning to well in his eyes again.

"Like I said, I'm really sorry for what I did..." he finished. "I just couldn't believe he would suggest Mom cheated on you! And I'm tired of all the comments about my size! I just want people to stop putting me down just because I'm a little smaller! All I want is to be strong and a great commander like you and a great tactician like Mother one day... I'd love to win a tournament one day like you did too! You even won multiple!"

"Hm. I understand," Frederick replied. "I do wish that people would stop treating you that way as well. And I most definitely do not approve of that young man's comment about your mother. He will be punished for it."

"Good. He needs to be."

"However, Morgan, you were in the wrong as well. And I cannot give you any special treatment merely because you are my son. I must treat you as I do any recruit."

"...Yes. I was. And I accept any punishment you are going to give me. The guards said they don't want to allow me into the tournament, and if that's what you're going to say as well...then I understand."

"I am pleased to hear that," Frederick said. "And I would bar you from entering. However, this would be your first one, and this is your first offense. You need the combat experience to grow, and registration lasts two days. For now, I will only ban you from registering today and you will perform various other duties and chores for the remainder of the day instead and remain here in your quarters otherwise. You may register tomorrow. Provided that you remain level-headed. I have told you before that keeping your composure is an essential skill for any knight and retainer to the royal family. You do get in trouble again, and you will be barred from the tournament. Is this clear?"

Morgan closed his eyes and gave a nod.

"Yes, Father."

"Good."

Before the two could say anything more, there was another knock at the door.

"Ah, it's Ralph," the masculine voice replied. "Are you there, Morgan? Fred?"

"Ah, yes, we are," Frederick replied. "Come in."

"Yeah," Morgan added.

The dirty blonde knight, known for his angelic singing voice and close friendship with Frederick, then entered, closing the door behind him.

"Annie told me what happened," Ralph said. "I came to see how you're doing. I'm sorry about it all, Morgan. What that guy said about your mother, despicable! It wasn't right of you to attack him, but I can't say I blame you for it."

"I agree, and thanks," Morgan replied.

"It's kind of you to check on him, Ralph," Frederick commented with a smile. "Thank you."

"Of course! Also, Polly sends her love. Annie's with her right now," Ralph added.

"Heh, tell her that I say thanks to both her and her papa," Morgan said, grinning.

"I certainly will!"

"And there we finally see a smile again," Frederick commented. "I'm pleased to see you're cheering up, Morgan."

"Yeah, I do feel better," Morgan admitted. "I have to admit though. I'm wondering now if my size really may be a hindrance after all. When I punched that guy, he stumbled, but didn't fall over. I was trying to make him fall over. But because he's bigger, he didn't. It took the force of my whole body to get him on the floor. And...I felt so intimidated being towered over by everyone around me. And when I think of you and especially look at you, Dad... I really envy how tall and strong you are. I always wished I could have a body like yours."

"Well..." Frederick said. "The truth is, in such situations, the size difference is a small factor. But Morgan, it's minimal. You managed to overpower him in some way regardless."

"...Huh. You do make a point. I did still put him on the floor, even if it took more than a punch to do it."

"Yeah, Morgan," Ralph stepped in. "You may be a bit of a little guy, but there are always ways to win against someone taller! And think of it like this, if being smaller does make it harder, it's just more satisfying when you overcome that challenge!"

"Exactly, Morgan. Ralph is correct," Frederick agreed. "All those people who say your height will prevent you from going far, they are wrong. You and Antoinette will outgrow your mother, and she does just fine the way she is, you know. Why, I may be tall and bulky, but your mother has kept me on my own toes in sparring matches! You have to remember something else I've told you before. True strength comes from within. It may help greatly to hone your body and wield the strongest weapon you can find, but you can still do that even at your height, and all the strength in the world does not matter if one does not know how to properly use it. You are learning to use such strength."

Morgan remained silent for a moment, processing what his father and family friend had just said.

"Wow... Dad, Ralph, I think you both are right!" he finally said. "I do remember when you said that about strength, Dad. The truth is, I didn't quite understand it back then. But I do now. It makes so much sense."

"Indeed. I'm pleased to hear this," Frederick replied with a smile.

"Yeah, that's right, Morgan," Ralph added. "And you know what else? People make mistakes. No one is perfect, after all, and life can get messy even at the best of times. Don't be too hard on yourself, okay?"

"That is good advice," Frederick said.

"Yeah. Thanks so much," Morgan replied, smiling as well.

"Now, I shall go prepare those chores I mentioned," Frederick declared. "Morgan, you remain here until I am ready for you. Ralph, I'd like your assistance."

"Yes, Father."

"Of course, Fred!" Ralph obliged.

"Oh... But one last thing," Frederick continued. "Morgan... When the tournament begins, do me a favor and show your opponents that big things can come in small packages!"

"Ha, I will, Dad! I promise not to disappoint you again!"

"That's the spirit."

"Yeah! We're all rooting for you!" Ralph added.

"Thanks," Morgan said, his smile bigger now. For once, he felt like he could walk back into that registration hall with full confidence and no nervousness to hold him back.

Just a note, don't confuse the Morgan in this story with the one we actually meet in Awakening. This one is the one eventually born in the timeline the player plays in. So he has a different personality and somewhat different ambitions.

Edited by Anacybele

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5 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Ohh I am so glad to say bonus points are being rolled out XD

Yeah, that wasn't a bad quote at all, and bonus points are nice. :P

I'm surprised you read my piece though, Chloey. I know you prefer Robin with Chrom (or in the case of the male, Lucina, I think?), and I've also seen you express dislike for Frederick. Kudos to you for reading it despite that. :)

Oh, but I do hope that it doesn't seem like I threw Ralph in the end only for that quote. It DOES fit him more than Frederick, but I honestly added him because it'd be in his character to show up in this situation. He's as kind as one can be, sometimes too kind for his own good. And fun fact: Ralph isn't just Frederick's best friend, they've been friends since childhood. I could've easily had Frederick say the line by rewording it a bit to fit him more.

Edited by Anacybele

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7 hours ago, Anacybele said:

Yeah, that wasn't a bad quote at all, and bonus points are nice. :P

I'm surprised you read my piece though, Chloey. I know you prefer Robin with Chrom (or in the case of the male, Lucina, I think?), and I've also seen you express dislike for Frederick. Kudos to you for reading it despite that. :)

Oh, but I do hope that it doesn't seem like I threw Ralph in the end only for that quote. It DOES fit him more than Frederick, but I honestly added him because it'd be in his character to show up in this situation. He's as kind as one can be, sometimes too kind for his own good. And fun fact: Ralph isn't just Frederick's best friend, they've been friends since childhood. I could've easily had Frederick say the line by rewording it a bit to fit him more.

Well what can I say?  It was very well written.  I might not like the ship but I will read if the story is good.  Plus my preference for M!Robin x Lucina is more story route in awakening as it makes chapter 21 have a hell of a lot more impact than if Robin was married to say Olivia for example.

Edited by TheSilentChloey

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1 hour ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Well what can I say?  It was very well written.  I might not like the ship but I will read if the story is good.  Plus my preference for M!Robin x Lucina is more story route in awakening as it makes chapter 21 have a hell of a lot more impact than if Robin was married to say Olivia for example.

Okay then. Personally, I think that scene is worse if Lucina is married to Robin or Robin his her mother. Because it makes her come off as selfish and abandoning the whole idea of saving her father/friends. Instead she chooses to spare Robin because of parentage/marriage. It's worst if it's a marriage to male Robin because then it doesn't become a thing about her parents anymore. She chooses one life she values over a bunch of other lives when she previously expressed the desire to save a lot more people as well as her father.

I have the same issue with Chrom approving of Robin's decision to put Grima back to sleep if the player goes that route. Chrom says before that that one life means nothing compared to hundreds or thousands or whatever, and then he's fine with Robin choosing a few lives over hundreds? Makes no sense to me and this kind of thing is why I never liked Awakening's story or writing. That, and the time travel stuff which I never enjoy, but that's personal taste.

Edited by Anacybele

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