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Innocentmask
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Get back in the time machine and go back to my time because I ain't dealing with this shit.

Your pokemon are weak and injured and you come face to face with Gary MFing Oak who demands a battle!

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Ignore'em. If they can't appreciate my greatness, then they must be blind to glory.

You're forced to be in pop band, and it can only be one of the three following choices. American pop boy band, K-Pop band, or J-pop live vocaloid performer. Which do you choose?

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Assuming it's the original PvZ, I'll go with: Sunflower, Double Sunflower, Kernel-pult, Melon-pult, Fume Shroom, Gloom Shroom, Wall nut, Pumpkin, Spikeweed, and Spikerock.

You have been summoned to a UN general assembly to deliver a speech to world leaders with 2 hours to prepare. What do you talk about and how do you prepare?

Edited by The_antithesis
I forgot to make a problem!
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Try it, realize I go blind from turning invisible because science mumbo-jumbo that you could Google if you were really curious, and ask whoever magically gave that power to me if I could have another one. 

A pair of indestructible sunglasses has been permanently affixed to your face, and a suit has been permanently stuck to your body. How do you cope with the fact that you will now be a generic spy movie goon?

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Simple: Remember what you learned in school, and apply it here.

Alternatively, read the math book the class provides. Or one of the leftover books from college. Or get a reminder of how to do the problem from the internet.

 

You accidentally joined the Mortal Kombat tournament! And your first opponent is Sub-Zero...

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Run. Exchange information (names, phone numbers, etc.), get the damages paid for, move on with life. If it's an nice car, then I would consider running.

You've been hired to play the keyboard at a local concert, but you have no idea how to play it.

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Hope that it's a jazz concert so you can pretend that all the wrong notes you're playing are just intentional stylistic choices.

You need to give a five minute comedy show, that is actually funny to most people, and you only have a minute to prepare. What anecdote do you give?

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6 minutes ago, indigospace said:

You've been hired to play the keyboard at a local concert, but you have no idea how to play it.

Practice like a madman beforehand, and remember what I learned as a percussionist in band class. After all, mallet instruments (xylophone, marimba, glockenspiel, etc.) are pretty similar to keyboards; you just play with all your fingers instead of two (or four) sticks.

Someone else responded while writing this, but I'll just kill two birds with one stone.

1 minute ago, DarthR0xas said:

You need to give a five minute comedy show, that is actually funny to most people, and you only have a minute to prepare. What anecdote do you give?

I either recite a Studio C skit from memory, or give a reaction that would probably make a good meme.

 

During a normal drive to [insert generic location here], a volcano erupts! You are dangerously near the disaster when it occurs. What do you do?

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