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Chaos reigns when I take the reins! - Let's play Tear Ring saga, Ironman mode, while being terrible at Fire Emblem!


Saint Rubenio

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I don't think using the Krishna clone is going to turn out well. Isn't it possible for items to just plain disappear when you do that?

Edit: Well, I guess Aethin himself cleared that up.
What still confuses me is why you would have to do the Shigen/Vega event. Shigen will still be the one to re-recruit Krishna, even if they've never talked before. Holmes just leaves her to die.

In any case, some random trivia: Unfortunately the game will not take into account whether or not Zieg actually betrayed you. You could kill him when he first appears back in the temple of wind and nothing about this map would change.

Edited by BrightBow
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11 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

If this were a parody I think I could find some enjoyment out of this, but since this is supposed to be a dramatic story, it just makes their plain usage all the more glaring.

Wait... Fates wasn't a send-up of every trope Fire Emblem had ever had, right down to having a psychotic dragon tacked on where it doesn't really need to be, a Paladin who mindlessly follows a blatantly evil side because "muh countree" and a character who serves the main villain that probably would have been more interesting were they done AS the main villain? You've ruined every shred of respect I once had for the story.

 

11 hours ago, Hawkwing said:

The voice acting doesn't help, although I don't know if I'm more bothered by the performances or the direction at the moment (the single exception being Arthur, because the voice actor is having a blast with his lines and I can't hate the superhero ham).

Arthur is so great that I use him even though his luck and personal skill make him a liability more often than an asset.
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, goodness! Why?!

Because they're internal in birds... so I guess they only have so much space.
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how Luigi's made out to be a dickhead in every single spin-off of the Mario series, and meanwhile he's basically the best person in his own series and the RPGs.

I'm of the opinion that Luigi is the single most fleshed out character in the franchise. His closest competition in the mainline games being Bowser (though in this case primarily due to his role in the RPGs giving him a kind of personality). I believe I described this elsewhere as what I call "Mickey Mouse syndrome", where company representing mascots of the family friendly variety tend to be vanilla as possible to avoid being offensive (exceptions, such as Sonic, who thrived on being an anti-Mario exist). Mickey Mouse being the textbook case because his negative traits were removed fairly early on and injected wholesale into Donald Duck. I consider Luigi to be the Donald Duck to Mario's Mickey Mouse. The second character with the lesser billing but the more developed personality. The one they were willing to experiment with because he wasn't the "mascot".

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Come now, your rooster doesn't deserve to be compared to Holmes.

You know, after typing that, the next time I was with him he attacked my feet. I didn't feel it because my boots have steel caps, but I think he was offended too.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anything that reminds you of Eugen is a good thing.

I was first reminded when Galuf (who like Eugen is older and bearded) called out Bartz speech about joining him and Lenna as "a load of crap. Just admit you have the hots for her" (though that appears to have changed in the GBA port having looked for video), and then soon after, on them sighting a pirate ship deciding the obvious course of action for them, poorly equipped as they were in the early game, was to sneak on board and steal the ship. Upon this backfiring and them getting captured he questions "who was the idiot who came up with that bright idea". For further joke, I've got him in the monk class so he's punching monsters out... which is his initial attack method. That's only very, very early game stuff.
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahahah. Some people are serious about the whole OC stealing thing. Some joke about it. You did both, you absolute madlad.

I wasn't Mad Manakete for nothing. I mean, I've been described as a madman so many times the pun popped right into my head when I needed a username.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, what do you mean? Wasn't it ALWAYS gold?

It was definitely fool's gold. April Fool's Gold. (I had that response waiting)

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He's a horseman raiding villages? Seriously? I was not aware. Now I have to wonder if he requested to be portrayed like that on purpose.

Given I think he'd originally applied to be playable and ended up a boss for the demo (though I'm unsure of the details, so I could be wrong), I think it's part coincidence. But he's the only one who knows for sure. Intentional or not, I found it hilarious.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:


Is that a tear rolling down my eye? I think it may be. That was beautiful. May the hand of the Goddess protec us all!

May it inspire you to greater heights.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aqyuyjid o

What  if you're secretly the descendant of Ichabod Crane, hence your tendency for headless people and horsemen to traumatize you or inconvenience you? Well, mostly the horsemen.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's right, I'd forgotten that Echoes stole Ostia Knight #3's name for a random pirate.

Actually he just washed up in Valentia after you got him killed in Binding Blade. Wait... how does that work if Echoes takes place before New Mystery and you had Binding Blade after by virtue of the Archanean units and subplots... Know what? Barth the pirate washed up in Ostia and became a knight. Now it works.
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Oh, hahahah poor Holmes. He's too lame to be a bird.

Yeah, well my rooster thinks he's a dog anyway. Which leads to him snubbing the hens.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Did he steal your butter?

Funny enough why Pengauis is raiding villages in that demo.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

By the way, can I just say it's a shame "Gramud" is unused? 'Cause hot damn, what a sprite.

Yeah I'm going to say that was intended as General Lawrence.
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Rxzxpht7 oRdk1we2s o

Ahahaha! Hwahahah! It worked, it worked! I did it, I've played God! Or, more precisely, I've taken advantage of the fact that this very specific chain of events (Shigen and Vega dueling, Krishna dying afterwards, Krishna coming back to life and then talking with Shigen the second time through the tower) somehow has resulted in a second Krishna appearing out of thin air.

This is beautiful in an incredibly inept way. Holmes entire route is more broken than the storyline in bloodstained after I sequence broke in New Game plus to skip a cutscene, and then activated said cutscene later after one of the participants was dead.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones
                        Lee

                        The Roger The Paladin
                        Lionel
                        Letena
                        The LP

That's a tragedy I hope we avoid.

 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait, what? She can't use it, either? She isn't even close, she's three points of mastery away, and I don't have a funny book potion!

I can't believe this... you'd think that a cursed blade would naturally gravitate towards cursed people! Who could possibly be more insane than Sasha!?

Pvzay58r o

...

...well. You know what? I'm fine with this turn of events.

Yeah. We should have seen that coming.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Q0mulelg o

0zfd96rn o ...okay, I can't think of a single way you could've worded that in a more suspicious manner.

Either that or he's referencing Wrys. Shame you couldn't take him with you. You'd be very glad you did.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
K30lmmis o

Hjqvrqsr oIt isn't your fault, Lady Claris. It's that damn Guenchaos's.

Gmhhyxnn oIt wasn't Guenchaos that left her in a defenseless village, you know.

Hjqvrqsr oShigen...! I didn't even think they knew this place existed! How was I supposed to know they'd come here?!

Fbktddjf oBecause it's already happened before! When I was travelling with Lord Runan, this village was attacked by the Cult. I tried to warn you, but didn't pay any attention to me!

Hjqvrqsr oWho even are you?

Fbktddjf oRaquel, Holmes! The hunter from Wellt? I've been with you for months as per Lord Runan's request! I've taken part in all of your battles!

Hjqvrqsr oReally? Could've sworn we've never spoken...

Fbktddjf oUrgh! If only Lord Runan hadn't asked me to help you...

E7ffcz4a oStop! It's time for exposition.

Fbktddjf oOh, no, not you too... At least this time we aren't in the middle of the ocean. I'll just go take a walk.

Gmhhyxnn oYeah, same. Sigh... I know Lord Runan needed her powers more, but... damn, I wish Sierra was here.

You sure know how to make up for exposition dumps.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hjqvrqsr oIt's absolutely insane... What could he hope to gain by doing that?

Didn't Law just explain that? Seriously?

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Uzp0tv3m oEypdmtoz o

Oh, no. It's worse than that. It's this asshole. He doesn't even know the name of the place where he's been working the last few months!

Wait, the shopkeep is playable? Well Kaga beat Awakening to it.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Qgfxteh8 oIrcziiyt o

This one's returned, too. I truly appreciate your eagerness to keep the bench warm, guys.

Insert Brilliant Dumbass joke here.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tom also gulps down his flask and becomes stronger. This results in his arrows doing more damage, somehow.

Well, at any rate, with 14 strength, now his biggest non-move weakness is a thing of the past - a past we won't return to. Way to go!

Maybe he's using a higher poundage bow now? I mean it's the only way it makes sense. After all, poundage makes a hell of a difference.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ionqcovp o

Look at this garbage! He's about on par with base Raffin! Base-fucking-Raffin! In fact, he's only a wee bit better than BASE KREISS. What fucking nonsense.

Eh. Still not Lina. Also Pengauis might enjoy this.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
8zf988ma oAlk4ezyi o

This is Vega's first and last battle.

Not counting ones with party members eh?

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Sfqoiwj1 o

I swear, I have no idea how she's this good. Note that she got a better level than Arkis, without the growth book, with growths that are at least 15% lower than Arkis's.

Obviously she stole Arkis' growths. Hence why he's been underperforming and she's been overperforming. Mind, only relatively speaking.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

04edcfbn oThat's a load off my mind...

Gmhhyxnn oWe're responsible for this whole calamity, aren't we.

Hjqvrqsr oShigen!

I would laugh so hard if it were true.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

0zfd96rn o How? How does Ahab manage to be the best character in Holmes's route long after his death? How does he manage to be one of the game's deepest antagonists with two chapters of screentime? Did they siphon all of Zachariah's character and gave it to Ahab?

So Ahab is Donald Duck to Zachariah's Mickey Mouse? Batman to his Superman? Luigi to his Mario?

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Cpz2d7hq oS1dtn80t o

As well as Zieg, we also have... ergh... some kind of evil blue lich?

I remember the hat. Wasn't he alive with a beard last time? Or is this because you killed him last time? He's clearly that guy with the hat who was discriminated against for his hat (and to a lesser extent, child sacrifice). Anyway I don't remember his name because it was so long ago, but I'm sure you know who I'm talking about.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

0zfd96rn o I mean, on the one hand, there's no way they'll just kill off Zieg here, but on the other hand, this dude's design is a tad too elaborate for a one-off boss. In fact, it's too much for post-Xyon Holmes at all! I wonder who'll be the real throwaway bossman of this chapter...

Beginning to suspect Zeig is an incredibly well developed Camus. So kind of the opposite end of the Camus spectrum to what I applied to be in Serenes Emblem. (Given I went with the parody of the archtype with incredibly stupid motivations that actually make no sense)

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
3dr9vaya o

P1zzgcas o Pffhah! No comment. Just, no comment.

This sums up everything about Holmes ever. Like this is purified, concentrated, unadulterated, unfiltered unhomogenized, 100% Holmes in his natural habitat as he once again opens his mouth and inserts his foot. This is worse than the time he wanted Halloween to be on Friday the 13th this year so it could be extra-spooky. This is worse than the time he thought Katri would be safe in a village previously attacked. This is worse than the fact he inexplicably attacked a ship assuming it was a war ship. This is worse than his ability to not almost cause Katri to never meet parental figures again due to wanting to kill people. This is worse than insulting potential allies. This is worse than DSP's efforts to play videogames.

And now I've used the obligatory low hanging fruit as an insult, I guess that's it for this update. Here's to a successful skirmish.

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Part 61 - Under Ziege.

Good news, everyone! 3H spoilers. Skip this paragraph if you care.

Spoiler

I have confirmed that Hanneman is recruitable in FE:3H. Not only him, but also pretty much every teacher. Given that the teachers are the only characters I'm remotely interested in (well, out of those that aren't wearing a blue Hardin's cape, that is), that's awesome news. Haven't seen Tomas anywhere, though... his fate is about as obvious as Jeralt's, sadly.

At any rate, by this point, I'm pretty much set on getting the game. I've got a couple of issues, mainly the ones I detailed before in my response to Hawkwing (to elaborate on the graphics problem; 30 FPS lock. The game is ugly as all hell, yet they felt the need to force it to run at 30 FPS? Why? What takes up so many resources, Byleth's crazy sleeves? At least, on the bright side, it seems animations are pretty cool), but they're nothing too major.

Well... aside from the fact that all the students except for Dimitri and maaaaybe a couple others make me feel sleepy, and that I really, really don't like Byleth. Silent protagonist without any personality, but that is still plot-critical, cannot be customized, and has supports, as well as crit, level and (I'm assuming) death quotes? Yeah, that's not going to work. This isn't the kind of series where that kind of writing flies, due to supports and in-battle quotes being a thing. It's like they're taking the worst aspects of every Avatar in the series and putting them into one neat package. From what we've seen so far, they have Mark's eerie lack of speech, Kris's shoehorning into the spotlight despite their lack of personality and importance relative to their fellow protagonists, Corrin's avatar worship, and to top it all off, they can't be customized at all, which defeats the whole purpose of them being an avatar at all - a pitfall that none of the other avatars fell into. It's really bad. Maybe I'm alone here, but I humbly believe that Femleth's hideous outfit is the least of their problems. For one, while Maleth's outfit is a bit more tolerable, his face and haircut are ugly as sin. And no, a day 1 DLC that consists entirely of different outfits for them is not a solution, it's a scam.

Now, to address the question that's on nobody's minds: who will I romance? Well, for starters, "I" won't be doing any romancing. The only avatar I ever gave my actual name to was Mark, and that's because Mark is literally a Dora the Explorer-style self-insert. With Kris, I always make up a character for each playthrough, like I did in my LP with Pretzel. Byleth? Byleth's completely devoid of any character, but they also cannot be customized, so that basically throws any chance of being able to think up a character for them out of the window, and I cannot see myself as a guy with such a clear chin, so that's also out. Thus, my only option is to just leave him as Byleth and call it a day.

With that out of the way, to answer the question: nobody. That's right. I'll be too busy KILLING EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, I won't have time to be fucking generic anime girls (and I also dislike the whole "waifu simulator" part of the deal, but eh, details). This is a game about killing people for experience. The only shipping I'm going to be doing is Dimitri's lance x that despot Edelgard's face. Or x the boring one's face. Oh, and do I look forward to murdering that shitstain Lorenz for stealing the name of one of Archanea's bravest men... Oh, oh! And maybe I'll have Hanneman teach Manuela some manners! Heheh... Can you guess what house I'll be choosing yet?

Also, LUIGI'S MANSION 3 RELEASE DATE! FINALLY! SCREW THREE HOUSES, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!

...wait, OCTOBER!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Fuck me sideways with a blistering barnacle, guess I'll have to use Three Houses to cope with the wait...

Last update, I forgot:

Spoiler
On 7/13/2019 at 3:41 PM, Aethin said:

@Saint Rubenio, throughout this LP, you’ve opened my eyes to the glory that is Ahab. When I retranslated the game, I didn’t really give him much thought—all my focus during the Salia Arc was on making Zechariah’s slightly less idiotic. Man, he’s even got posthumous character development...

Hahah, well, I'm glad to have caused this to happen.

Oh boy, I do love me some glitches!

I have no idea what is going to happen now that you’ve split them into different parties, but I look forward to the results. My money’s on the clone vanishing or teleporting back into the original’s party.

I'm just hoping it won't damage my save file.

Okay, so here are the rules about Krishna, assuming I remember things properly. I’ll go over everything so all the readers can be on the same page:

1.  Though they look identical, there is indeed an “original” and a “clone,” as Ruben has surmised.

2.  If you do something to the clone’s inventory or stats (gain experience, swap items, etc.), the original and its stats/items will be unaffected.

3.  If you do anything like that to the original, however, the clone will be overwritten with the new status of the original. (I’m going to call this “re-sync”ing the clone.)

To check which one is which, trade an item to one of them, then check the other. If the item appears on both, you gave it to the original. If it stays just on the one, you gave it to the clone.

So, to dupe items, you give something to the original, then trade it off the clone. Voila! You now have two of the item. Re-sync the clone, and you can repeat as desired. (You can even abuse this to teleport-clone items all the way across the map, iirc.)

Not that you’d want to, but you can also do the reverse—delete items permanently! Give them to the clone, then re-sync the clone. Congratulations, you just deleted a key item and soft-locked the game.

Now all that remains to know is whether or not this will all happen if they're in separate routes.

Remember, with great power comes great current squared times resistance.

What power? The power to attract low % unit deaths? 'Cause I seem to have a great affinity for that power, and I'd very much like to lose it.

 

On 7/13/2019 at 4:07 PM, BrightBow said:

I don't think using the Krishna clone is going to turn out well. Isn't it possible for items to just plain disappear when you do that?

Edit: Well, I guess Aethin himself cleared that up.
What still confuses me is why you would have to do the Shigen/Vega event. Shigen will still be the one to re-recruit Krishna, even if they've never talked before. Holmes just leaves her to die.

Yeah, that mystifies me as well.

In any case, some random trivia: Unfortunately the game will not take into account whether or not Zieg actually betrayed you. You could kill him when he first appears back in the temple of wind and nothing about this map would change.

Ah, that's a pity, but I suppose Zieg's story would break in half if they tried to change it. Which begs the question: why doesn't he forcefully join instead of being a killable enemy? He rushes Runan to recruit himself anyway, they could've had him bump into Enteh as she's charging inside the Temple of Mars and recruit himself before the chapter even begins.

 

On 7/13/2019 at 6:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Wait... Fates wasn't a send-up of every trope Fire Emblem had ever had, right down to having a psychotic dragon tacked on where it doesn't really need to be, a Paladin who mindlessly follows a blatantly evil side because "muh countree" and a character who serves the main villain that probably would have been more interesting were they done AS the main villain? You've ruined every shred of respect I once had for the story.

And so, another one falls...

Arthur is so great that I use him even though his luck and personal skill make him a liability more often than an asset.

This line's a bit weird for me because I'm playing The Last Promise right now (for the first time!), I've made a point to use Arthur. He was hilariously good by the end of Siegmode, and his only issue will be his availability.

My point is, there are way, way, WAY too many Arthurs in FE. I'm positively flabbergasted that they didn't name anyone Arthur in 3H, given their track record.

While on the subject of The Last Promise, can I say that Kelik isn't quite as awful as everyone says he is? Yes, he's edgy, Blazer clearly loved him and there are plenty of dumb moments with him (and he's enough of a Navarre that I've made it a personal challenge to beat the game without giving him a single point of experience), but he gets called out for his crap very often, and he actually has character development and a cute dynamic with Anakin.

Frankly, Siegfried's the real shitstain here. He's a lot more of an asshole for no good reason much more often, and he gets away with it 99% of the time - not only that, everyone around him worships him as if he was some kind of magnanimous paragon of justice. You kiddin' me? His first instinct upon encountering a fleeing villager from a bandit attack was to mock him and give him the "told you so!" salute! He's a piece of garbage! Racist, mysoginistic, condescending, antagonistic, resentful, bitter... you name it, he has it. He's a hilariously awful person, and his one act of redemption kills him. What a man.

Still, it's not all bad. Despite the infamous writing, I've found that there are some gems to be found amongst the piles of garbage, such as Howard (a remarkably solid character given he's from TLP). Heck, I'd argue that Siegfried's awfulness is actually rather well-written. Also, the gameplay's fun and imaginative, as well as technically impressive for the hack's age. Like, sure, some of the ideas fall flat, but the game gives you a light mage Lord who dances, heals AND gains Renewal upon promoting! How awesome is that? He's one of the most fun Lords I've seen in a FE game. That's just one example of the kind of creative stuff Blazer pulled out of his teenage brain in between writing about weight and Siegfried being a humongous dick to rival Richard.

...three paragraphs seriously defending The Last Promise? I bet nobody saw that one coming!

Because they're internal in birds... so I guess they only have so much space.

Urgh...

I'm of the opinion that Luigi is the single most fleshed out character in the franchise. His closest competition in the mainline games being Bowser (though in this case primarily due to his role in the RPGs giving him a kind of personality). I believe I described this elsewhere as what I call "Mickey Mouse syndrome", where company representing mascots of the family friendly variety tend to be vanilla as possible to avoid being offensive (exceptions, such as Sonic, who thrived on being an anti-Mario exist). Mickey Mouse being the textbook case because his negative traits were removed fairly early on and injected wholesale into Donald Duck. I consider Luigi to be the Donald Duck to Mario's Mickey Mouse. The second character with the lesser billing but the more developed personality. The one they were willing to experiment with because he wasn't the "mascot".

Ah, finally someone that speaks my language. My friends love bullying Luigi. My best friend refers to the upcoming title (by the way, finally, we got a release date - and what an appropriate release date, too) as "Mario's Luigi's Mansion 3"! can you believe it?

Although, on the other hand, I'll probably force him to play coop with me, so it evens out.

You know, after typing that, the next time I was with him he attacked my feet. I didn't feel it because my boots have steel caps, but I think he was offended too.

The insult was so great, your rooster felt it.

I was first reminded when Galuf (who like Eugen is older and bearded) called out Bartz speech about joining him and Lenna as "a load of crap. Just admit you have the hots for her" (though that appears to have changed in the GBA port having looked for video), and then soon after, on them sighting a pirate ship deciding the obvious course of action for them, poorly equipped as they were in the early game, was to sneak on board and steal the ship. Upon this backfiring and them getting captured he questions "who was the idiot who came up with that bright idea". For further joke, I've got him in the monk class so he's punching monsters out... which is his initial attack method. That's only very, very early game stuff.

Oh my God, he's perfect... so much so, in fact, that I have a C R A C K P O T   T H E O R Y. That contains spoilers for FFV, so there's that.

Spoiler

After Galuf died, he actually didn't die, he used Camus's patented trick of falling into a river that doesn't exist anywhere near the spot where he died. He washed up in Lieberia without his memories, having grown a long beard in his long time at sea, which he kept because he felt it suited him better than the old handlebar. He joined the army of Razelia under the assumed name of Eugen, and his amazing fighting skills convinced Lord Gramud to promote him to General. And we know what happened afterwards. Among other events of note, he pounded Holmes into the ground with one swift fist to the nose bridge.

As for his ghost in FFV, that's just a kind phantom that decided to help the main guys out on their quest, while pretending to be Galuf so as to give them some semblance of closure after his sudden death.

It's... honestly? Surprisingly perfect. It's official: TRS is a sequel to FFV.

I wasn't Mad Manakete for nothing. I mean, I've been described as a madman so many times the pun popped right into my head when I needed a username.

You truly are the maddest of manaketes.

It was definitely fool's gold. April Fool's Gold. (I had that response waiting)

Hahahahah, predictable, but nonetheless excellent.

Given I think he'd originally applied to be playable and ended up a boss for the demo (though I'm unsure of the details, so I could be wrong), I think it's part coincidence. But he's the only one who knows for sure. Intentional or not, I found it hilarious.

It is most likely a coincidence, but I want to believe I am an important part of everyone's life, so I'm sure he was thinking of me when he suggested that.

May it inspire you to greater heights.

It shall.

What  if you're secretly the descendant of Ichabod Crane, hence your tendency for headless people and horsemen to traumatize you or inconvenience you? Well, mostly the horsemen.

Hmmm... wait, does that mean I'd be a minor villain of the Wolf Among Us sequel that will never come out?

Now that'd be interesting.

Actually he just washed up in Valentia after you got him killed in Binding Blade. Wait... how does that work if Echoes takes place before New Mystery and you had Binding Blade after by virtue of the Archanean units and subplots... Know what? Barth the pirate washed up in Ostia and became a knight. Now it works.

Man, the Saint Rubenio LP Universe is so confusing. Somebody needs to make a timeline with all of the events that have transpired thus far.

Yeah, well my rooster thinks he's a dog anyway. Which leads to him snubbing the hens.

Pfffhwahahahahahahahah. Okay that's awesome.

Funny enough why Pengauis is raiding villages in that demo.

Of course it's about butter. He's butterman!

Yeah I'm going to say that was intended as General Lawrence.
Man, if that was the case, it'd be amazing. His portrait is simply named "381.gif"... hmm... how mysterious... perhaps it's a secret code of sorts! Let's see... third leter of the alphabet is C...

Cha? Nah, that doesn't mean anything... wait!

Cha... chance? A chance?

Which is what Eugen refuses to give Holmes.

There, it's a young version of Eugen.

This is beautiful in an incredibly inept way. Holmes entire route is more broken than the storyline in bloodstained after I sequence broke in New Game plus to skip a cutscene, and then activated said cutscene later after one of the participants was dead.

Frankly, at this point I think we could make a case for this against Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing.

That's a tragedy I hope we avoid.

Likewise. And if not, hey, I've still got that one savestate at the tower of Morse lying around.

Yeah. We should have seen that coming.

Fuckin' Runan, man... He's more similar to Lentzenheimer than I thought!

Either that or he's referencing Wrys. Shame you couldn't take him with you. You'd be very glad you did.

Sigh... instead, I'm stuck with Plum as my only healer for Holmes.

You sure know how to make up for exposition dumps.

Hahah, thanks.

Didn't Law just explain that? Seriously?

It's Holmes. Did you really expect any better?

Wait, the shopkeep is playable? Well Kaga beat Awakening to it.

Yeah, only this one's a terrible character. His bases are just horrendous for this point of the game. He has a prf, for some reason, but it's just a weaker Dolharken. Not worth using imo. He's just Shigen if he joined 9 chapters before the end of the game.

Insert Brilliant Dumbass joke here.

She's the Wonderwoman to Brilliant Dumbass's Superman. In other words, exactly the same character but with tiddies. Are the comic book fans mad yet?

Maybe he's using a higher poundage bow now? I mean it's the only way it makes sense. After all, poundage makes a hell of a difference.

I dunno about the poundage, but his pwnage has sure increased.

Eh. Still not Lina. Also Pengauis might enjoy this.

"Might"?

Not counting ones with party members eh?

I mean, he lost that one. Sure, they were both at 1 HP when Holmes forced them to stop, but I'm sure Shigen would've won.

Obviously she stole Arkis' growths. Hence why he's been underperforming and she's been overperforming. Mind, only relatively speaking.

And yet neither of them is as amazing as Norton, the random-ass, lowly corporal who joined for reasons understood only by himself. I'm so glad I didn't murder him like in my first run.

I would laugh so hard if it were true.

It would be the ultimate Holmes move: he's so stupid, he caused the game to happen.

So Ahab is Donald Duck to Zachariah's Mickey Mouse? Batman to his Superman? Luigi to his Mario?

Nah, for Zachariah to be Mickey Mouse, Superman or Mario, he'd have to exist. And he doesn't exist. He had less screentime than Ahab, for crying out loud!

I remember the hat. Wasn't he alive with a beard last time? Or is this because you killed him last time? He's clearly that guy with the hat who was discriminated against for his hat (and to a lesser extent, child sacrifice). Anyway I don't remember his name because it was so long ago, but I'm sure you know who I'm talking about.

Aaahhh, I know who you're talking about!

On 12/16/2018 at 9:56 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

ufdnitA.png

No, but his hat looks nothing like Nevhka's! Maybe after coming back to life as an evil blue lich, he changed it in an effort to be more inconspicuous, since this hat's style seems to be more popular among Gerxel troops, if this dude is anything to go by.

On 3/4/2019 at 2:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Gr45fjs6 o

Cunedd is crap.

Of course, he failed to realize that, being an evil blue lich, he's going to stand out no matter what.

Still, the theory holds. He even responds to Guenchaos personally, just as he did back when he had a top tier beard. They're definitely the same person.

Beginning to suspect Zeig is an incredibly well developed Camus. So kind of the opposite end of the Camus spectrum to what I applied to be in Serenes Emblem. (Given I went with the parody of the archtype with incredibly stupid motivations that actually make no sense)

Hmmm, we'll see what happens. Zieg still has some twists and turns yet to be revealed, that much I'll tell you.

This sums up everything about Holmes ever. Like this is purified, concentrated, unadulterated, unfiltered unhomogenized, 100% Holmes in his natural habitat as he once again opens his mouth and inserts his foot. This is worse than the time he wanted Halloween to be on Friday the 13th this year so it could be extra-spooky. This is worse than the time he thought Katri would be safe in a village previously attacked. This is worse than the fact he inexplicably attacked a ship assuming it was a war ship. This is worse than his ability to not almost cause Katri to never meet parental figures again due to wanting to kill people. This is worse than insulting potential allies. This is worse than DSP's efforts to play videogames.

Goodness gracious, this whole rant has to be the second worst thing that's ever happened to Holmes. First being the time his skull got cracked by Eugen.

And now I've used the obligatory low hanging fruit as an insult, I guess that's it for this update. Here's to a successful skirmish.

Hear, hear!

 

On 7/13/2019 at 11:20 PM, eclipse said:

Krishna stole all the stats off of Arkis.  It's the only way to explain this!

It truly is the only way, since nobody seems to be able to come up with anything else.

 

To give the boxes fancy titles:

Spoiler
Mibysngo oXhoh0sho o

Lil' bit o' inventory management. I hope I won't regret giving Krishna something.

H9ft1kdr o

This map is boring as fuck. What you see is what you get. You could probably finish it in a single turn, if you sent Sierra this way and still have Renee. Even without either of them, it'll still end really quickly for us. There's a secret shop at the open house, where you can buy dark magic, but since Sierra is with Runan, it doesn't matter.

Also, see that small house that's closed? Had Shigen not been sacrificed way back in the skirmish after Ahab's chapter, this is where Sierra would've joined. Missing an entire story arc and the option to go with Runan. Not the best of deals.

Sdc0fpbe o7mfzwirx o

We move forward.

Ujeiv83f oPilxcgpa o

They move forward. Annoyingly, the Witch does something dumb, which is bad, actually. Now she might appear on top of us at the same time as the riders reach us. That's not something I like.

2q9mheu5 oGtsjcw8l o

Let's form a defensive barrier.

Ehnn9wlf o

See? See?! Plum!

Ku9n91ge o

Son of a bitch! I can't lose her as well!

A91njawq o

What's that? You got hit? Oh, I'm so sorry for you, Julia. True, true: I should not have placed you there. You only have a 73% chance to dodge!

Wywmt80f o

Was that so hard? Well, was it?

Ksawdbqr o

Oh, good grief... evidently it was!

Ryuiphjd o

WHAT!? CAN I POSSIBLY TAKE A SINGLE RISK WITHOUT IT BACKFIRING HORRENDOUSLY!? AND THEN PEOPLE SAY DEFENSE IS A USELESS STAT, THAT SPEED IS THE SINGLE BEST STAT! SEE THIS!? THIS IS WHY I LIKE DEFENSE, THIS IS WHY I LIKE GENERALS, AND THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST SWORDMASTERS: YOU CAN'T FUCKING RELY ON THE RNG! NEVER!

3qlcnmjw o

GUUSSHHHHHYAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHH...!

Rcudxonq o

Julia you worthless fucking cunt-- nnnggghhhhhhhhhh! You live where so many have fallen!? I... I...! You! R-Rrrrgghhhhhwaaahhhh!

Lw8xh2bk o

Okay, all right, let's calm down. The last one can only reach Holmes.

Ftp46k24 oLtaguixs o2nlnwbe8 o

Draco, again? Well. Sure thing, pal!

De7annh9 o

Very well, let's have Krishna attack this dude. Perhaps she could steal his pilum!

Cvptiocu oJqo6p5ye o

Another one with the Dracos? Gee, care to give Julia a fighting chance? 'Cause she simply doesn't compare at this point.

Loyzkzie o

Man... that's all she can heal. This is miserable...

Uks9le4l oPe8h8ybx o

Not as much as this, though! Julia seems determined to make me only use her as a supportGarobot - and she may very well succeed!

Aoc0nsab o

She did steal a pilum, using the thief's dagger. In retrospect, I have no idea why I'm doing this. All my lance users are on the other route.

Qq4hiqqs oU7wltvrm o

Garo is so much better than the rest of Holmes's goons, it's kinda embarrassing.

K8hz2pjc o

Seriously, he's unable to promote, and yet...

Ppxmetz2 oItesncl5 oRmcwfz7u o

More kills.

Vo2jvrf5 oYhtdyfhd oC9xuzg9y o

Burn in hell, generic!

Xlnz7vg8 o

Okay, this formation should keep Julia safe. Wounded as she is, she simply cannot remain open to attacks.

1btmcofd oFzor8ee2 oKpu9i4md o

Zach exists for once in his life! Ain't that grand.

Eub6fbux o

Five enemies left. We've got this in the sack, unless reinforcements appear.

Bafzxqor oH2hpgxu9 oVp7u8spo o

Shigen skillfully avoids all harm, teaching his sister a lesson in competence.

O9pqqa5e oIw9lwye4 oGkhntgie o

Well, not all harm, but considering he could've died very easily...

8lpe5pev o

They had their chance to force a reset. Time to get executing.

C2mxmipk o7lvwsndc oSkux3lox o

Krishna summoned Krisheena from the other route temporarily so she could ruin this dude's day. Now watch as Aethin's theory is correct, the clone returns to her original seslf, and I regret tempting fate by joking around.

Gnu7z7lg o

In other news, another free pilum that I can't use! What was I even thinking...?

D3tbndw5 o

Heal up. Unlike a certain other female Myrmidon, you aren't a complete liability.

J9yuswz8 oJeqzwail oNtj7pqmn o

Even if he had a 1% chance, this mofo would hit me, I just know it. So let's ensure he doesn't even get that.

W1rgeyip oXsrncdbk o7dfqwfd5 o

Tom and Raquel soften up enemies. Raquel does so in an overly wasteful manner.

Lgr9o2ky oWilcsukf o

Holmes, can you stop doing the fancy flips on this garbage? You keep wasting that good luck, and when I actually need you to do it, you'll just do your normal sword slaps and I'll be mad at you. Again. ...again.

Zwdfxbif o

Bastard, you don't deserve to be so good!

V8dohga0 o

Only the bosses left. I suppose now is when the reinforcements arrive?

Ggtfafeq o

...no? Are you serious?

Well. Here are the bosses, I guess.

Ck0hoqlj o

Zieg has grown all the way up to level 25, but he must've gotten a handful of empty levels, because in all of 19 levels, he's gotten exactly two points of the three "S"s, 3 points of defense, and a small bucket of HP.

You may notice that this is an extremely RNG-screwed Zieg. I don't know the exact logistics behind his autoleveling, but considering most of his levels would've looked like this if I had been the one to give them to him...

On 3/4/2019 at 2:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Nyxczhty o

...yeah, I think we can safely assume that not giving Zieg any experience pays off. He'll still be a somewhat tough boss, due to all of his skills and his equipment, but his lack of ranged weaponry will make him a sitting duck. He doesn't even move, either. What's up with that?

Gezii9wm o

As for Nevkha, he's basically a generic black mage. Remember Dagon and Cunedd? No? Well, he's the same deal, only a little stronger. He'll be easy to bring down.

038vvedm oQirr2vz3 o

Let's go.

8apvmvjk o

You're so very generic, mate. Please die a generic death.

M5ci6di4 o

Wait... what? He dodged?

Qirr2vz3 o

Oh, goodness fucking gracious... a thousand thundering typhoons! What's this?! This has got to be a new low! Now my units are missing 100% blows!

...well, no, not really. It's just that Nevkha is scripted to survive this encounter, no matter what. In fact, he leaves if a unit waits too close to him, so even trying to fight him is completely pointless. I only did this to show off his sprite and his line. I'll rewind now, because this move leaves Garo in a really awkward position.

So... now what? If Nevhka isn't the bossman of the chapter, who is? Zieg? No way they're going to waste Zieg in this chapter of all chapters...

Jn5bwxl7 o

...well, looks like they will! Is Holmes's route about to ruin yet another plotline? It appears that is its only talent!

Jb9djgx1 o

Meh, no point in delaying the inevitable. Let's get Julia a little closer so that she can support Garo.

L6refmz6 o9vnvy4hi o

Frankly, there's no reason Nevkha couldn't have been the bossman of the chapter. He's as generic as it gets, so all this set-up doesn't really do much for him. Dagon had more of a presence than him, mostly thanks to being the player's introduction to death-preventing items, and then having the whole situation with Seamus in his second appearance. In Nevhka's case, his next role is so generic and nondescript, that a recolor of Doruk could've fulfilled it, and nobody would've noticed the difference.

5vps7oju o

Well, at any rate, he didn't just warp out like most dark evil guys. He actually used his legs. I cannot believe it. I have a shred of respect for him, now. This is his niche as a bossman: Barbarossa is tragic and has a beautiful send-off, Ahab is deep and somewhat morally grey, Seamus is a hero and I still shed manly tears for him, Pavlov is an actually entertainingly written irredeemable bad guy... Nevkah doesn't use Cheap Warping Plot Devices to leave the battlefield. Full stop.

S7vucon1 oZbmctzdx o

That done, Shigen heals up, with a herb. I might have to throw him at Zieg later.

Vmfjyx2t o

And thus, the time for retribution has come.

8em2yupi oUrqd59op o

You're all alone, dude! Your last ally ditched you like you ditched Lentzenheimer! You'd do well to just surrender.

Oh, what's that? You're not scared because Garo cannot damage you? Ahahah... that, my friend...

Skwdj6op oJf6q0hfg o

...is highly debatable.

Bwzjzjnb o

Wait-- where's he going? He moves!? NO! I WAS NOT AWARE! I COULD'VE SWORN HE DOESN'T MOVE IN THIS MAP! NO-

Atguz51v o

Oh, he just went to heal with the elixir. Sure, I'm fine with that. Funny how giving him an elixir made his AI suffer a short-circuit.

1cpa4am4 o1pbilomt o

Oh, there are the obvious reinforcements! Well, I cannot be bothered to battle with you all, so let me just...

Xuyuwjxb oHxxbifno oRxagwmrb o

It's downright embarrassing that this match-up worked in my favor.

Dndty6gh oDcinu9ed oXwkchmlf o

And now he's dead. That was so anticlimatic...

Jrkofay1 oHjrnlwrr oKptqqd5l o

....yeah, there's no point in pretending that Zieg actually dies here, is there?

0xuvovj4 o

Whatever comes to pass, he gave Maruj a... wait, hold up... is that... a good Maruj level? Inconceivable!

Well, that was the map, folks. Since it was so short, let's get the plot out of the way.

K8jtcv23 o

Okay, that's a weird sentence...

04edcfbn o

...wait, that's it? Really?

Stxeqczk o

What... I'm confused, what the devil just happened? For all of this game's verbosity, this is the one topic where they should've slown down and actually taken a little bit of time to acknowledge this twist of fate! Yet it is here and not back with the Law Bible that they decide to write four lines on the subject and call it a day?

Zsocwbcu oStnjokws o

Oh, and it takes about 5 seconds for Carla to warp in out of nowhere to bail her brother out. How did she know Zieg would fall in this skirmish? Was she watching him? But isn't she supposed to be at Canaan, manipulating Emperor Bahanuk? I thought watching Zieg was Nevhka's job! And another thing, it's been literally a few seconds. There wasn't even a scene transition or anything. Holmes can't be that far away. What the hell is he doing? Did he trip on his way out and hit his head on a rock? Is he too busy staring at Carla's assets to react?

Rqqssoyw oForgive me, Sister... I am ashamed.

Phz7nok8 oLet's just get you out of here. We'll make them pay for this later.

Rqqssoyw o...

0zfd96rn o Why did Zieg appear in this chapter, again? What was the purpose of shoehorning him in here, if they were going to just shoehorn him out right afterwards? Well... I do know the reason, but I cannot tell you yet. In time, the truth shall be revealed. For now, though, I'll only revel in the stupidity of this whole situation.

Gzs1isiw o

0zfd96rn o Oh, I see. Holmes moved to another background. That explains... nothing at all, but let's just move on.

04edcfbn oWhile the kings are off waging their selfish wars, the common people suffer...

0zfd96rn o You mean, kinda like you're fucking about Salia right now and your dad's fucking with a girl half his age, while Granada burns in anarchy? But at least Xyon didn't die for that shit, so that's something...

E7ffcz4a oYes, that is why Salia needs a good king. An honorable king, with strength and kindness in equal measure. Lady Katri has a gentle heart, but she has not the strength to rule. What say you to the task, Sir Holmes? With Lady Katri at your side, you would make an excellent king.

0zfd96rn o ...

04edcfbn oG-Gimme a break! I don't want to be king!

9jo2oyox o

F4aswdy8 o Hwahahah! Count on Shigen to make everything better. He's not quiiite as talented as Eugen at it, but he's getting there.

Gmhhyxnn oAnyway, I've got some bad news.

04edcfbn oOh, great... What happened this time?

Gmhhyxnn oThat Shadow Knight we captured... Zieg, wasn't it?

04edcfbn oWhat about him? Did he keel over or something?

Gmhhyxnn oNo, he escaped. One of the Cult's witches warped him out before we could catch her.

0zfd96rn o But... then there were people around, it wasn't just Holmes? Why didn't you capture her while she was just chatting with Zieg? Did everyone pass out?

04edcfbn oWhat does that mean!? She calmly exchanged some dialogue with him before warping away! You guys had all the time in the world!

Yfvkttm0 o

4lt3brpp o You were, you grand imbecile, before you randomly walked away! None of this makes any sense...

Ah, dammit. With that absolute nonsense, it is over. Next time...

...

...wait.

I3jexi2b o

Is it... is it time already?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S THAT CHAPTER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Crap... next time's gonna be miserable. For me, at any rate. You'll all enjoy yourselves very much, I am sure. Fare well till then. I'll try to enjoy my last days before facing... the worst chapter in Tear Ring Saga. Look forward to it, I sure won't. Bye. Urgh...

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones
                        Lee

                        The Roger The Paladin
                        Lionel
                        Letena

*26A only
*Resurrected

Reset count: 2 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 7

 

 

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18 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gnu7z7lg o

You subconsciously want to use Arkis instead of Julia. 

20 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gnu7z7lg o

You REALLY want to use Arkis over Julia (Garo doesn't need the support to wreck face and if Arkis died to a low percent hit or crit you wouldn't care, also movement)

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Zieg will move after a certain number of turns. Or maybe after the other guy leaves. Could be both, I suppose. Just saying it's normal for him to not move at the start but to start moving later.

As for his boss version, I don't think he actually automatically levels. Like, in Deltre's Let's Play Zieg still had 3 levels to grow to 25, and yet he returned with the exact same stats he left with despite the higher level. It's probably more something like Boss Zieg's stat get raised to a certain point if they are too low, like Gaiden promotions.
Although comparing your Boss Zieg to my Boss Zieg (from a save where I just killed him when he first appeared), your's has +1 magic, +5 luck and +1 WLV. Yes, my Boss Zieg only has 3 luck despite the playable Zieg's base luck being 8. I guess that's a side effect of killing him rather then letting him warm the bench.

Edited by BrightBow
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9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's perfectly timed for my dog's birthday though.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

With that out of the way, to answer the question: nobody. That's right. I'll be too busy KILLING EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, I won't have time to be fucking generic anime girls (and I also dislike the whole "waifu simulator" part of the deal, but eh, details)

So instead of a waifu simulator you're going "Elliot Roger" simulator? But seriously, I always preferred the gameplay to the waifu sim aspect ( I mean it wasn't around initially), so I don't mind a de-emphasis. I'm aware a lot of people disagree, though. I'd have thought keeping it but removing the future kids would have been a good compromise because then I don't have to worry about it at all.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, finally someone that speaks my language. My friends love bullying Luigi. My best friend refers to the upcoming title (by the way, finally, we got a release date - and what an appropriate release date, too) as "Mario's Luigi's Mansion 3"! can you believe it?

Although, on the other hand, I'll probably force him to play coop with me, so it evens out.

Yeah. I unironically preferred the guy since the Super Mario Bros. 3 title screen, so I could be biased. I mean watch the sequence where he kicks the shell into Mario. Even back then he had more personality.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She's the Wonderwoman to Brilliant Dumbass's Superman. In other words, exactly the same character but with tiddies. Are the comic book fans mad yet?

Wouldn't that be Supergirl? Wonder Woman doesn't exactly have the heat vision. She couldn't fly until after 1986. No super breath. She spent a long time not bulletproof so that blocking bullets with bracelets thing meant something. Then there's the lie-detector lasso. Funny enough, Wonder Woman's creator, William Moulton Marston, invented the lie detector. Mind he did envision Wonder Woman as an inspiration to young girls in the same way Superman was to young boys.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No, but his hat looks nothing like Nevhka's! Maybe after coming back to life as an evil blue lich, he changed it in an effort to be more inconspicuous, since this hat's style seems to be more popular among Gerxel troops, if this dude is anything to go by.

Just going to assume the hat got damaged and he's had to settle on a replacement.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
K8hz2pjc o

Seriously, he's unable to promote, and yet...

Who needs to promote when you're already a badass? The Jeigan philosophy.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Vp7u8spo o

Shigen skillfully avoids all harm, teaching his sister a lesson in competence.

Shigen dodging death? That seems to be his job.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Dndty6gh oDcinu9ed oXwkchmlf o

And now he's dead. That was so anticlimatic...

Well, that wasn't half the fight I expected. Good job I guess.

I'd post more but seeing as my (new) laptop is misclicking, I'm going to work out what I can do about the sensitivity issues there first. Before I end up accidentally visiting Pengaius' user page again.
 

Edited by The Roger The Paladin
accidental early post due to awkwardness with new laptop
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On the upside, it means you'll have time to fully enjoy Three Houses before Luigi's Mansion shows up!

Maruj was overdue for a good level.  GO GET MORE OF THEM~!

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19 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wait... Fates wasn't a send-up of every trope Fire Emblem had ever had, right down to having a psychotic dragon tacked on where it doesn't really need to be, a Paladin who mindlessly follows a blatantly evil side because "muh countree" and a character who serves the main villain that probably would have been more interesting were they done AS the main villain? You've ruined every shred of respect I once had for the story.

And so, another one falls...

Arthur is so great that I use him even though his luck and personal skill make him a liability more often than an asset.

This line's a bit weird for me because I'm playing The Last Promise right now (for the first time!), I've made a point to use Arthur. He was hilariously good by the end of Siegmode, and his only issue will be his availability.

My point is, there are way, way, WAY too many Arthurs in FE. I'm positively flabbergasted that they didn't name anyone Arthur in 3H, given their track record.

While on the subject of The Last Promise, can I say that Kelik isn't quite as awful as everyone says he is? Yes, he's edgy, Blazer clearly loved him and there are plenty of dumb moments with him (and he's enough of a Navarre that I've made it a personal challenge to beat the game without giving him a single point of experience), but he gets called out for his crap very often, and he actually has character development and a cute dynamic with Anakin.

Frankly, Siegfried's the real shitstain here. He's a lot more of an asshole for no good reason much more often, and he gets away with it 99% of the time - not only that, everyone around him worships him as if he was some kind of magnanimous paragon of justice. You kiddin' me? His first instinct upon encountering a fleeing villager from a bandit attack was to mock him and give him the "told you so!" salute! He's a piece of garbage! Racist, mysoginistic, condescending, antagonistic, resentful, bitter... you name it, he has it. He's a hilariously awful person, and his one act of redemption kills him. What a man.

Still, it's not all bad. Despite the infamous writing, I've found that there are some gems to be found amongst the piles of garbage, such as Howard (a remarkably solid character given he's from TLP). Heck, I'd argue that Siegfried's awfulness is actually rather well-written. Also, the gameplay's fun and imaginative, as well as technically impressive for the hack's age. Like, sure, some of the ideas fall flat, but the game gives you a light mage Lord who dances, heals AND gains Renewal upon promoting! How awesome is that? He's one of the most fun Lords I've seen in a FE game. That's just one example of the kind of creative stuff Blazer pulled out of his teenage brain in between writing about weight and Siegfried being a humongous dick to rival Richard.

...three paragraphs seriously defending The Last Promise? I bet nobody saw that one coming!

Because they're internal in birds... so I guess they only have so much space.

Urgh...

I'm of the opinion that Luigi is the single most fleshed out character in the franchise. His closest competition in the mainline games being Bowser (though in this case primarily due to his role in the RPGs giving him a kind of personality). I believe I described this elsewhere as what I call "Mickey Mouse syndrome", where company representing mascots of the family friendly variety tend to be vanilla as possible to avoid being offensive (exceptions, such as Sonic, who thrived on being an anti-Mario exist). Mickey Mouse being the textbook case because his negative traits were removed fairly early on and injected wholesale into Donald Duck. I consider Luigi to be the Donald Duck to Mario's Mickey Mouse. The second character with the lesser billing but the more developed personality. The one they were willing to experiment with because he wasn't the "mascot".

Ah, finally someone that speaks my language. My friends love bullying Luigi. My best friend refers to the upcoming title (by the way, finally, we got a release date - and what an appropriate release date, too) as "Mario's Luigi's Mansion 3"! can you believe it?

Although, on the other hand, I'll probably force him to play coop with me, so it evens out.

You know, after typing that, the next time I was with him he attacked my feet. I didn't feel it because my boots have steel caps, but I think he was offended too.

The insult was so great, your rooster felt it.

 I was first reminded when Galuf (who like Eugen is older and bearded) called out Bartz speech about joining him and Lenna as "a load of crap. Just admit you have the hots for her" (though that appears to have changed in the GBA port having looked for video), and then soon after, on them sighting a pirate ship deciding the obvious course of action for them, poorly equipped as they were in the early game, was to sneak on board and steal the ship. Upon this backfiring and them getting captured he questions "who was the idiot who came up with that bright idea". For further joke, I've got him in the monk class so he's punching monsters out... which is his initial attack method. That's only very, very early game stuff.

Oh my God, he's perfect... so much so, in fact, that I have a C R A C K P O T   T H E O R Y. That contains spoilers for FFV, so there's that.

  Hide contents

After Galuf died, he actually didn't die, he used Camus's patented trick of falling into a river that doesn't exist anywhere near the spot where he died. He washed up in Lieberia without his memories, having grown a long beard in his long time at sea, which he kept because he felt it suited him better than the old handlebar. He joined the army of Razelia under the assumed name of Eugen, and his amazing fighting skills convinced Lord Gramud to promote him to General. And we know what happened afterwards. Among other events of note, he pounded Holmes into the ground with one swift fist to the nose bridge.

As for his ghost in FFV, that's just a kind phantom that decided to help the main guys out on their quest, while pretending to be Galuf so as to give them some semblance of closure after his sudden death.

It's... honestly? Surprisingly perfect. It's official: TRS is a sequel to FFV.

This made my day. Especially Galuf. Especially because I'm finally replaying FFV for the first time in at least two years. I love that game. Now excuse me, but I have to go grind some jobs (I'm still at Karnak but whatever, I enjoy the heck out of this game). Eugen=Galuf is GR9.

(About TLP, @Saint Rubenio, how do you feel about other unpopular units? Like Karina, Asch and Haas?)

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On 7/18/2019 at 4:24 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's... honestly? Surprisingly perfect. It's official: TRS is a sequel to FFV.

I don't know how I missed the spoiler tab, but I was going to do the same joke. Also I reckon the "phantom" is actually just Galuf/Eugen using the same godlike powers he uses to resurrect Runan to talk to his old allies. Want me to add to the theory? Fine.
 

Spoiler

Eugen didn't initially go to Razellia. His first stopover was Macedon. Here he had offspring (as it's established that he's a ladies man in chapter 2). He named his daughter after one of his former companions. Lena. Remember how Lena and Matthis were of a noble house? Yep. It's because their father was a king on another planet.
TL;DR Galuf = Eugen = Matthis Dad.
Matthis inherited badassery.

Also, playing the game at last I noticed things that weren't brought up in this LP that became relevant later. I mean the sequences with Julianattiscordst leaving Taurus hurt a whole lot more when you think what happened to him.

But what just about killed me is the realization that Kaga was so damn sneaky with the source of the sword Julia got from Julianattiscordst's grandfather that it almost flew under the radar. A killing edge or scimitar left behind by a travelling merchant? I know a merchant that's rather edgy. Kaga even did this joke first.

VoDecgS.png

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Taking another computer/electronic fast. Since I have to take my laptop to class anyway today, I may as well knock this out.

EDIT: Aaaaand I still reply later than usual. I really need to cut back on the replies again.

Also, went to a game store last Saturday (was forced to go clothes shopping without being warned ahead of time. At least something interesting was along the way). Got six games for $20 (had a "buy five, get a sixth one free" deal). No Shadow Dragon, unfortunately (or Snake Eater 3D, which was everywhere last time I visited), but I did get Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, Fable, The Incredibles, an American Army game, a James Bond game, and some prison escape game. I learned the hard way that I had not touched my XBOX in several months, and that we had $10 controllers after our good ones broke. For games that require precision shooting.  Yay.

On 7/13/2019 at 12:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Wait... Fates wasn't a send-up of every trope Fire Emblem had ever had, right down to having a psychotic dragon tacked on where it doesn't really need to be, a Paladin who mindlessly follows a blatantly evil side because "muh countree" and a character who serves the main villain that probably would have been more interesting were they done AS the main villain? You've ruined every shred of respect I once had for the story.

I want to be able to see Fates that way, but I just can't. The tropes are played too plainly for me to treat it as a parody. If they had more fun with the cliches, maybe, but as is, the story simply works, and that's it.

With that said, I do have fun trying to predict what tropes the game will use next. Just as the gameplay is putting my Fire Emblem skills to the test, the story is testing out my knowledge of TV Tropes, and I welcome both challenges.

On 7/13/2019 at 12:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Arthur is so great that I use him even though his luck and personal skill make him a liability more often than an asset.

Same, actually. The moment I heard Arthur speak, I knew I was going to use him, regardless of how he turned out. It's hard to hate his superhero ham, and you can tell his voice actor (Cam Clark, I believe) was having a blast with his lines. It helps that Arthur has the best supports that I've read so far in Fates.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, goodness gracious... imagine sending Seteth's generic loli sister off to slavery in order to become a dancer.

On second thought, don't imagine it. We had enough of that when it happened to Plum.

Well, if gamexplain is anything to go by, the game has less physical fanservice yet innuendos are commonplace. And in Echoes it's slightly hinted that Silque barely avoided getting… you know… And Three Houses is already darker than it appears at first…

I'm not expecting a one-for-one recreation of the Plum event, but needless to say I will not be surprised if Three Houses still has something horrific happen to one or more of the characters, even if it's only in a backstory and/or in-between the time skip.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

And once again, you catch it just before I post the next update.

And this time, I was almost going to post early, but ironically I ended up late.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I like how it isn't all vitriol, like everyone else.

Yeah, even though the story is extremely cliched, little to nothing has happened that actually made me mad or annoyed. A good premise can do wonders for making me want to continue and see what happens next, even if the execution isn't the best. I'm also curious as to what happened behind the scenes. I know I'm forgiving towards some of Echoes flaws because time and money constraints prevented them from changing, improving, and expanding upon certain things (something that Fates is making even more obvious) and I'm curious if Fates is in a similar, if different situation.

I'm also thankful to the game opening my eyes to why some people don't like Awakenings supports. Even if it turns out that the Fates doesn't have Awakenings issue of being able to jump very quickly from a support of average quality to a hidden gem to a lackluster conversation and back again, the game not impressing me with the first few supports I viewed did wonders for helping me understand the position that others are in. I know I got lucky with Awakening (how many people can say that the second S support they unlocked turned a character they liked into their favorite character in the series? And that the one they obtained after that had a similar set up, but a lower quality execution, revealing that the game could alternate between good and bad conversations very quickly?), and while I understood the reasoning 

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's funny how I've gone from "I don't know if I'll buy this game" to "I don't know if I won't buy this game at day one". Still, unlike pretty much the rest of the fanbase, I'm not quite so absurdly hyped. The students still make me yawn desperatedly, 90% of them being walking stereotypes, and boring ones, at that - and one of the protagonists is among that 90%, that's not good. Seriously, Claude better be a backstabbing bastard, because otherwise this is going to be "the game with Dimitri, Edelgard and the bad one". He even has a recycled name, for God's sake. I'm also still fearing that Hanneman will pull a Zieg (although, less so than before, it really seems he's gonna be playable, thank God). The graphics are still hideous, not that that matters, but an issue is an issue. And the size of the cast really worries me, if the entire playable cast is going to be 10~ students per route plus a handful of teachers, the replayability is going to take a hit, reclassing or no reclassing. I really doubt that'll be the case, but it's something to be worried about.

At the moment, I'm just interested in the games story, as the little we've been told from reviewers greatly intrigues me. Granted, my lack of interest in the gameplay is probably due to not owning a switch yet, but the different perspectives and the mysterious set-up is holding my attention right now. I'm debating on how to view the story without playing the game myself, though, since I'm not the biggest LP watcher, yet SF will undoubtedly spoil things out of order.

As for the characters, I'll wait and see. At least I'm glad that the tropes are down to earth this time around. Don't want another round of "'They're just one dimensional anime tropes!' 'No! They're well-rounded three dimensional characters! Read their supports!'" Also, Claude probably will be a backstabber.

Still don't like the graphics, but I've accepted them and can hope that the next game improves upon them exponentially. Also, cutscenes have blood, and I hope that it's present throughout the  entire game and that they don't hold back with the violence. The animations have grown on me, even if I still have my issues and think that Echoes was far better.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Me? I just want the guy with the amazing mustache and the monocle to be playable. That is about it.

We, uh, we knew he was playable as far back as the first E3 trailer.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You are quite brave.

Having a bathroom filled with them helps. I try to save as many as I can when they unwisely make a web in my shower. Or near my sink when brushing my teeth.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

It's obviously a kilt. Marcel is scottish.

Are some kilts really that long, though?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, even the Joker himself is more afraid of the IRS than Batman, right?

The only time someone isn't afraid of the IRS is in post-apocalypse works that have no government to place taxes.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Then again, the entire human race would survive the walking dead. Who even lets slow, decaying corpses to jump on them?

At this point, I think humans know enough about fighting zombies that any actual outbreak would be resolved pretty quickly. Unless they're the fast ones.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh hey, it's Star Treck's Wrys.

I did not know that I needed this description in my life.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Aqyuyjid o

I know I would watch it, that's for sure.

And hey! Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones is in this film!

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The other one is from an anime I don't know. She's called esdeath and she's basically yandere fanservice for horny teens. And me, apparently, if Youtube recommendations are anything to go by. Then again, Youtube also bombards me with Family Guy clips relentlessly, so...

This is why I watch Youtube only in incognito mode. One day of searching and I already have a good idea of how chaotic it can get.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Soooo you're telling me that, in this game, I could've been an ass to Law while he exposited?

He would have been an ass back/first, but yes.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahahahahahahah, ah, we'll have to settle for throwing Holmes into Guenchaos, period. So he dies.

The ambiguousness of the "he" makes this joke much better.

For all we know, the butterfly effect of Holmes being thrown into Guenchaos will cause the slaver to spontaneously combust in a painfully horrific manner.

Wait

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah, I see.

Most real sword fights don't last beyond a second anyway.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

That's right, I'd forgotten that Echoes stole Ostia Knight #3's name for a random pirate.

And Ostia Knight #3 stole the name from a pirate that killed Valbar's family.

Strangely enough, Barth is the only boss in Echoes to have a recolor. Every other boss has a unique portrait.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah... yeah, you're right, we should stop dicking around.

A5dflN6bDd8JFkc3UTR1wAJ-yrf2x3clZzqRLjXXXC1ForvOn8PavvS129R-FZheVb7WZjCWIW4Ecb4b-1y7haEDP4Sn0dDssuOBCDss8QWfIYZEtIVJNFk9o2rT4-tq6XDNXktS

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

All right, let's settle for that, because I've already forgotten what we were talking about.

I made a seppuku joke about Maerchen, and didn't know what others would think of it.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Frankly, I find it baffling that the spin isn't talked about more. Without getting into the good ol' argument of whether the prequel battles are better than the OT battles or not; that spin is so dumb, I'd expect it to be memed more - but nobody seems to even acknowledge its existance! Even people who admit that this battle hasn't aged so gracefully don't even mention it! What's up with that?

Guess spins are so common in Star Wars that we subconsciously don't notice anymore.

Also, dangit! I just spent 2 hours looking at “Everything Great about Star Wars” again! And this reply is late again.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Man, you got scammed with that laptop, didn't ya?

Not really. For the purposes of note taking, which was the main reason I bought it in the first place, it does rather well. And if it's an official game, then they run just fine, even if any mouse-heavy game is a pain to play.

Really, it's probably my fault that the sound is as bad as it is. I admit that I've punched it more than once when it was a source of temptation (having no free time during college and realizing I'm not as immune to distraction as I thought I was is not a pleasant combination, to say the least).

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Other than that, though, do give it a listen. This game's got a good ost, and not only that, it also uses it well. Take this, for instance. This is the overworld theme when controlling Runan for the first two route splits. In the third route split, it is replaced with another theme, since you control them both - however, this one returns as both the player phase AND the enemy phase theme for the battle against Lentzenheimer. The music alone helps make that already epic battle ten times more epic.

And it will make writing this update 10 times more epic as well. Thanks for that. Now lets see if I end up listening to the entire thing before this update is over...

Later: Okay, 30(-ish) minutes in, and I'm still replying to your replies. And this soundtrack is awesome. I will remember to give it a listen again in the future.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Did he steal your butter?

My interview questions.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Weird timing, but sure, ask away.

Been meaning to do this for over a year. Oh well. Better late than never (@The Roger The Paladin can answer any that wasn't in his interview. Sorry, man, but I got busy and missed the opportunity to ask all of mine) :

  1. Obligatory First/Current Impressions Question?
  2. Do you read Awkward Zombie? If so, favorite comic?
  3. Do you read any webcomics?
  4. Favorite Newspaper comic?
  5. Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
  6. Trampolines. Like/dislike/don’t care for them?
  7. Thoughts on my accidental advertising of Blustone?
  8. Do you play any mobile games?
  9. Thoughts/Opinions on Indiana Jones?
  10. Oldest book you’ve ever read?
  11. Oldest movie you’ve ever watched
  12. Favorite Fictional Villain?
  13. Favorite Pixar Movie?
  14. Favorite Disney Movie?
  15. Favorite Fire Emblem Meme?
  16. Favorite Character in Super Smash Brothers?
  17. Favorite video game weapon?
  18. Favorite Fictional Invention?
  19. Something you’re glad you tried, but will never do again?
  20. Something that seems to bother others, but never/rarely you?
  21. Something you want to like, but can’t for one reason or another?
  22. Something you wish had a sequel?
  23. Thoughts/opinions on the Elder Scrolls?
  24. Tropes:
  25. Favorite/Least Favorite story trope/cliche?
  26. Favorite/Least Favorite character trope/cliche?
  27. Favorite/Least Favorite gameplay trope/cliche?

And that's all the ones that I didn't ask (or have) last time.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

C'mon, Holmes is an idiot, but he isn't evil. I know he killed Bismarck and his entire crew for basically no reason, but in all fairness, he confused them for an all-out Imperial warship. Again, not evil, but a complete dumbass.

I mean, I attack random trading ships all the time in Sid Meiers Pirates!, so I understand why he attacked them. What I'm confused by is why he never sold off the cargo to the nearest port or took all the gold from the ship. Or add it to his fleet for more cargo space. That's the main advantages of attacking trader ships. If I wanted a promotion or a new powerful boat, I would attack a warship.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

No, there are no instances of Runan and Holmes appearing as children. Or Gramud, for that matter. Gramud and Runan are recolors of two of the unused sprites, while Holmes is a bit of a half-assed splice of another two unused sprites.

F8qp1l1v oD9phcpqz oGdfkiuvf oMvdmidme o

By the way, can I just say it's a shame "Gramud" is unused? 'Cause hot damn, what a sprite.

I see. And Gramud looks like a titan of a man. It is a shame he was unused.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, given his childhood consisted entirely of running away from home and being neglected by his father, I can understand why he'd be terrible at being nice. Nobody ever taught him how to do it.

Man, ever since we met his dad, the perspective on Holmes stupidity and jerkishness has changed, hasn't it? Sure, he's still a dumb protagonist that can't do anything right, but we have an explanation for why that's the case.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean, Katri transforming at all was out of question, since she gave her bracelet to Holmes. Come to think about it, that was a rare display of foresight from her: since Guenchaos doesn't have the ring of Salia, he can't have Katri transform to use her for his own evil schemes, like he did with Enteh back in the day.

I think is was mentioned a few times back then that it was a no-win situation. Something bad would happen if she had the bracelet, and something bad would happen without it.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The Runyfrown's his normal expression, actually.

I know. He's just angrier than usual in this scene.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

PFFFFFHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Okay, I was NOT expecting that ending. You made my morning, right there. Thanks, man.

You are very welcome.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, what a curious coincidence, I also recently set up a PLC.

Interesting. I've taken a PLC class before, but it felt like I missed some sort of prerequisite, because we were figuratively throw onto the devices without really having a lesson on how they worked. I could program something, sure, but I couldn't tell you why it worked if I tried. The class I'm currently taking conversely started out slower, but it did a better job of helping me understand why this does that and so on. Also, the professor believes that if you know it, you can write it down, so there are no multiple choice questions in the class (Cue inward rejoicing and screaming).

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, FE already had blood, once. It wasn't Kaga that did it first, but FE6 shows some blood when Hector dies.

K1c7vinx o

I suppose it would've been hard to tell it apart from all the other instances where I edited blood in. Doesn't really matter, those four pixels of red don't compare to the brutality of Three Houses's opening. But yeah, for what its worth, there already was blood in FE once.

I know that there was blood in Binding Blade, and Echoes snuck some in a single scene, but Three Houses has blood that pooled under a dead man, got on a weapon, got on someone's fingers and face who wasn't dying. And said blood wasn't in the trailers, meaning that certain scenes that we've been shown will be even more violent!

Why am I so excited about this?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

There's a reason they're childhood friends. Also, Ruran.

A lowercase 'r' looks enough like an 'n' that this spelling error doesn't bother me.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

In other words:

Holmes is dumb.

- S. Rubenio "Chaos Reigns When I Take The Reins - Let's Play Tear Ring Saga Ironman Mode While Being Terrible At Fire Emblem"

When I go to comment and say something funny or sexy, and all I do is end up shitting on myself

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, Ahab exists thanks to him.

Fair point.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Doesn't seem like the assholes in my army agree.

Hence why they're benched.

Except for the thief dude, but his interactions with Eugen is making up for you using him.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

That's exactly what I was trying to reference. The memes.

Aye. It was most certainly a different time back then.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Not at all. Wrys really has no character beyond "I'm a humble curate, take me with you and you'll be very glad you did", so I decided, hey, he's one of the main characters in my LPs, let's give him some out-of-nowhere backstory.

I see. Still, you've made me want a healer with that kind of past, although I've heard that a bishop in FE7 had something similar to it.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Queen of Wellt, she's a badass in her own right. She told of His Chancellorness when he was outright threatening her life, and provided Sasha's first promotion!

Note that Raphael refers to her son as "Liza's boy", not "our boy". That's all the hints I'm going to give you.

I was thinking she appeared that early in the game.

And interesting hint, even if I don't feel like researching it at the moment. I'm fine with being surprised.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ih49ob2i o...hmph... first I can't behead that urchin Arkis, now I can't punch some sense into that idiot... grumble grumble... at least his father would be proud of him...

Maybe he could have attempted to convince Runan that a flick would be enough? Runan would probably say no anyway, but you never know...

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

They are awesome, but I understand that they get tiresome. Do read them when you can, though.

I kinda did. Once again, they're awesome, and it's great to hear an in-universe explanation for gameplay mechanics. IS, steal from Kaga again, will ya?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hahahah, exploit away, then! Don't let me stop you!

I will when I get the chance.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

I did forget to tell you I already played the game three days ago, did I...

I tend to get tired the closer towards the end of these updates. Especially longer ones, which I've found myself in again.

***

Since I've spent enough time on this as is, I want to do a paint.net joke, and I have two (thankfully shorter) updates to cover, I will be splitting this reply into two. Part 2 will come in an hour or so!

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F*ck, my previous post was a pain in the butt to submit. Apologies to the mods if I end up double posting.

If you couldn't tell already, I'm not having the best of weeks. And no, it's not just because I couldn't be on a computer for a few days. Just dealing with some personal issues, is all.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

.su fo pot no thgir denwaps ohw feihT a :yad eht fo thgif tsrif eht steg ehS .s'anhsirK fo etirps lufituaeb taht dessim ev'I ,hA

While I knew from the beginning this was spelled backwards, it took me longer than it should have to realize that you had already said this sentence earlier.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Rxzxpht7 oRdk1we2s o

Ahahaha! Hwahahah! It worked, it worked! I did it, I've played God! Or, more precisely, I've taken advantage of the fact that this very specific chain of events (Shigen and Vega dueling, Krishna dying afterwards, Krishna coming back to life and then talking with Shigen the second time through the tower) somehow has resulted in a second Krishna appearing out of thin air.

Now, the question is, what am I going to do with this? Well, I obviously don't intend to use this glitch the way most people use it (that is, getting enough statboosters to max out all of Lee's stats). Instead, I'll do something I'm pretty sure absolutely nobody has ever done: I'm going to use both Krishnas. Yep. Both of 'em. How will we distinguish them? Easy: I'm going to Yr now, and I'll give the original Adept. The clone (we'll call her Krisheena, her name from FEWOD) will get diddly squat.

It wouldn't be a Saint Rubenio Lets Play without something weird happening, and this just codifies even further that we're reading the right Lets Play.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Y3ulo1wz o

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaall right, some donations to the football for good luck. Believe you me, we're gonna need it.

Somehow, Footballman managed to speak spelling errors out loud.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
9318yrjf o

And there we go. Krishna now has a killing edge.

...

...hold the phone-- this is the clone! I gave the killing edge to the other one, I swear! This can only mean...

They share inventories, too!? I was not aware of this! I thought it was only her inventory when the glitch occured that was cloned! This is... extremely weird. What even is the science behind this?! What kind of fucked up code is there in the game for this to be possible?! None of this makes any blasted sens

Holmes route. That explains it all. Holmes route.

Heh heh heh heh heh

It's a bug, yes, but I've heard that Fates has a map were your army is cloned, and whatever happens to one affects the other. So Kaga frickin did it first.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Aop7scof oCgvlfcld oZ8utrord o
 
Q1yyjglg o63vo0cv9 o

So... Katri either mistook Mr. Chaos for her mother or she was finally taught stranger danger, Mr. Chaos is asking for com(munications), Katri refuses, Mr. Chaos claims that Katri has chos, and Katri screams and then starts saying Santa's catchphrase, but doesn't finish.

These alternative universes are getting stranger and stranger.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
7xt1bni2 oW0bviw5o o8ns59cgl o

7qoUBJDZrMJr0XfXtubFa-nUqn8kDDKgjy1jIjZf7cqG-8GwN9BxjXVSKxDKIlzSuctLOIu70LI53Y77nA-9zVlSpm5ncARzm3BcNhDoPEvtLegIVdh0sOjUNHWo-UDmzSyMM15m

This was more of a pain to make than it should have been. F*ck paint.net at times.
 

Also, I did not know that TearRing Saga had vocals. I thought Youtube autoplayed Three Houses music for a second.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Nah, just kidding, I'm not really doing this. But yeah, if you're on your tenth run of TRS, bored off your ass and just want to watch the world burn, do this glitch. The potential is nearly as ridiculous as the glitch itself is easy to pull off. I mean, I did without even meaning to!

The fact that this was entirely unintentional makes it a million times better.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Not that it matters. The idea of Runan dual-wielding two dark, cursed blades (one of which belonged to his old rival) while cackling maniacally, making even Sasha quiver in fear, is too hilarious to ignore.

Things like this make me wish Fire Emblem was an action game at points.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
6eomtycu o
Yuuxxrya o

What a scene. Probably Holmes's best yet.

This got a larger laugh out of me than it should.

Oh Holmes. You may have gained a shred of sympathy after meeting your dad, but you are still way to easy to make fun of.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

This was when they first met. Back when it still seemed like the game was going to ship her with Xeno. Then Xeno lost his relevance.

Sadly. He was the only guy in Holmes initial crew except Shigen who wasn't a jerk, an idiot, or both.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Frankly, I think Xeno was better for her.

I still remember the memes I made.

They looked like they had some solid chemistry together. Granted, so did Holmes, but that was the combustible and acidic kind.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hwahahahahahahah... that one aged well.

You were right that it was easy to take out of context. The game itself just did so.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You know, I'm actually kinda surprised. I was expecting to find more instances of me interrupting these flashbacks to rant about Holmes's idiocy. I was being surprisingly positive at this point of the game.

Well, the story was taking an off day, and Holmes tricked himself out of the scene, so I guess there wasn't much to complain about him there. Katri, on the other hand...

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Srxoqc1f o

I'm more sorry for you, shocking as it may be. That was absolutely miserable. If those are all the memories you have of your time with Katri, then I can understand why you're looking so sad. You wasted all of that time.

The start made me sympathetic to Holmes after he realizing that he really is a jerk. The punchline made me laugh my head off.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

4lt3brpp o You, too!? It was already attacked by Guenchaos before! Has everyone forgotten that chapter?! I know it wasn't the most thrilling of battles, and it came right after Barbarossa, which didn't help its case - but still!

Guess everyone bought into your talk that Holmes could hit Guenchaos from around the world if anything happened.

Instead, he was meeting with Runan and the nicest he's been in a while.

Oh, the irony.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ukhsvtho o

0zfd96rn o Oh, dear. I sure hope he won't use that in the inevitable final battle against him.

And then it will do a ton of damage, but all of our units will come out okay.

Unless Kaga is Kaga again and everyone dies.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hjqvrqsr oCarluon's sword was broken centuries ago, so if Gerxel is resurrected, we're screwed...

P1zzgcas o Pffft. Okay, gotta admit, I like how blunt he is about it. We'll be "screwed" all right, Holmesey.

This is the kind of dialogue Fates wants to achieve but fails to pull off. At least from what I've gathered so far.

Also, Holmes_is_very_sad_boohoo.png.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Q0mulelg o

0zfd96rn o ...okay, I can't think of a single way you could've worded that in a more suspicious manner.

CY2K53NX6xROPI52q40Pji4BsUSjH294WIRgb4gq6RLJUNFQyA821deo2yHHvzGuiH1JYqsiZ8YNoIqg1PjDnfiFR3DY5q1VMWf8gHpv9Wx_o-K36jpoxFi-YutqscmYOjn9GOA-

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Fbktddjf oBecause it's already happened before! When I was travelling with Lord Runan, this village was attacked by the Cult. I tried to warn you, but didn't pay any attention to me!

Hjqvrqsr oWho even are you?

Fbktddjf oRaquel, Holmes! The hunter from Wellt? I've been with you for months as per Lord Runan's request! I've taken part in all of your battles!

Hjqvrqsr oReally? Could've sworn we've never spoken...

Ah, the common downside of Fire Emblems cast. Individual characters know something, yet can't tell the lords because they might be dead by then.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sxlu1uve o

Freudian Slip

Seriously, though. Where did this come from?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Q3u5akck o

P1zzgcas o That line was so stupid, Shigen warps in to mock Holmes for it.

At this point, I'm honestly expecting "in a few decades, he was the new Eugen" to be somewhere in Shigens ending.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Uzp0tv3m oEypdmtoz o

Oh, no. It's worse than that. It's this asshole. He doesn't even know the name of the place where he's been working the last few months!

It was probably quite literally "the shop", leaving several machinist confused when there were no machines there. Fortunately, the owner was edgy enough that they were able to cut and complete their parts anyway.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Jwylwqud o

I just noticed now that Arkis killed the Gargoyle by stabbing its leg.

Do they have quite literal Achilles Heels?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Iim3eqnr oCpyvf6pp o

Cute palette. Green's my favourite color, as you may know, but all the green in the world wouldn't save Arkis's stats.

Aside from the colors being slightly darker, did anything really change?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

04edcfbn oThat's a load off my mind...

Gmhhyxnn oWe're responsible for this whole calamity, aren't we.

Hjqvrqsr oShigen!

Part of it, at least. It most certainly sped things up.

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
S1dtn80t o

As well as Zieg, we also have... ergh... some kind of evil blue lich?

Is that Dolth? Does he summon Necrodragons and have some very slight story relevance?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Minwrp95 o

Or is he a dark elf?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

0zfd96rn o I can't believe it. I thought the evil cult of deranged dark robes was the game's outlet for irredeemable evil! Are they seriously trying to make them sympathetic, too?!

Minwrp95 oYou fail to see the greater picture. There will be no place for these men in the new world Gerxel will build for us. Their place is to die here and buy His Excellency time, and that's it.

P1zzgcas o Ah, nah, it's just Zieg.

So... what are their beliefs, then? With the exception of the Duma Faithful (because the lesson of "hardship builds character" devolving into "power is the only thing that matters" isn't too hard to picture) and Mila's followers (reliance on prosperity results in exactly what you'd expect), has any Fire Emblem game really gone in depth for the belief system of the evil cult?

On 7/13/2019 at 8:43 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
3dr9vaya o

P1zzgcas o Pffhah! No comment. Just, no comment.

This...

Wha...

This... sums up too much... too much... of Holmes route...

How far into the writing process did Kaga decide to make this self-aware joke?

On 7/13/2019 at 12:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Wait, the shopkeep is playable? Well Kaga beat Awakening to it.

Except the shopkeeper was already playable, then became an NPC, then joined out their own free will...

Meanwhile, the other shopkeeper was an NPC, then a recruitable character, except they revealed that they were a different shopkeeper, and there are multiple shopkeepers that are less combat able on the map...

...Where was I going with this?

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Good news, everyone! 3H spoilers. Skip this paragraph if you care.

  Hide contents

I have confirmed that Hanneman is recruitable in FE:3H. Not only him, but also pretty much every teacher. Given that the teachers are the only characters I'm remotely interested in (well, out of those that aren't wearing a blue Hardin's cape, that is), that's awesome news. Haven't seen Tomas anywhere, though... his fate is about as obvious as Jeralt's, sadly.

...Except we knew that as early as the first E3 trailer.

I can see why you want to use him, though:

fu77ryo1gw931.jpg

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well... aside from the fact that all the students except for Dimitri and maaaaybe a couple others make me feel sleepy, and that I really, really don't like Byleth. Silent protagonist without any personality, but that is still plot-critical, cannot be customized, and has supports, as well as crit, level and (I'm assuming) death quotes? Yeah, that's not going to work. This isn't the kind of series where that kind of writing flies, due to supports and in-battle quotes being a thing. It's like they're taking the worst aspects of every Avatar in the series and putting them into one neat package. From what we've seen so far, they have Mark's eerie lack of speech, Kris's shoehorning into the spotlight despite their lack of personality and importance relative to their fellow protagonists, Corrin's avatar worship, and to top it all off, they can't be customized at all, which defeats the whole purpose of them being an avatar at all - a pitfall that none of the other avatars fell into. It's really bad. Maybe I'm alone here, but I humbly believe that Femleth's hideous outfit is the least of their problems.

Yeah, Byleth's lack of customizability is weird, considering that the options previous avatars had was one of the few universally praised things about them. Strangely, in all of the gameplay videos shown so far, Byleth is the only one that can S-Support (although whether this means becoming best friends or actual romance is up in the air. The fact that supposedly on of the "gay" options is a man that is already married and has a daughter makes me wonder if the former will be present, since if you can actually marry the guy, then that has several potential implications of what could happen, and I can't say I'm a fan of any of them). I also really don't understand why the male and female have different costumes, especially since Male Byleths robes are pretty unisex and the past avatars wore the same default outfit (granted, female Robin wore a skirt as a grandmaster and I think female Corrin has thigh windows when promoted, but the former is relatively harmless while the latter is pushing it it is still far from the worse example of different designs for the same class).

I am curious if there are any huge enough personality differences (whether subtle or obvious) between male and female Byleth that there's a reason they're split and are wearing different outfits. There were differences between the male and female avatars in supports in the past, but those never affected the story at large.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Now, to address the question that's on nobody's minds: who will I romance? Well, for starters, "I" won't be doing any romancing. The only avatar I ever gave my actual name to was Mark, and that's because Mark is literally a Dora the Explorer-style self-insert. With Kris, I always make up a character for each playthrough, like I did in my LP with Pretzel. Byleth? Byleth's completely devoid of any character, but they also cannot be customized, so that basically throws any chance of being able to think up a character for them out of the window, and I cannot see myself as a guy with such a clear chin, so that's also out. Thus, my only option is to just leave him as Byleth and call it a day.

Is it bad that while everyone else was excited/wondering about same-sex options, I was just curious if there was a way to officially declare celibacy?

I probably would have said that joke earlier elsewhere, but I don't know how people would respond to it.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

With that out of the way, to answer the question: nobody. That's right. I'll be too busy KILLING EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, I won't have time to be fucking generic anime girls (and I also dislike the whole "waifu simulator" part of the deal, but eh, details). This is a game about killing people for experience. The only shipping I'm going to be doing is Dimitri's lance x that despot Edelgard's face. Or x the boring one's face. Oh, and do I look forward to murdering that shitstain Lorenz for stealing the name of one of Archanea's bravest men... Oh, oh! And maybe I'll have Hanneman teach Manuela some manners! Heheh... Can you guess what house I'll be choosing yet?

So... You'll be doing a Byleth and Dmitri and Hannenman solo run?

Interesting choice for a first playthrough.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

They move forward. Annoyingly, the Witch does something dumb, which is bad, actually. Now she might appear on top of us at the same time as the riders reach us. That's not something I like.

Since when have witches done something smart?

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ryuiphjd o

WHAT!? CAN I POSSIBLY TAKE A SINGLE RISK WITHOUT IT BACKFIRING HORRENDOUSLY!? AND THEN PEOPLE SAY DEFENSE IS A USELESS STAT, THAT SPEED IS THE SINGLE BEST STAT! SEE THIS!? THIS IS WHY I LIKE DEFENSE, THIS IS WHY I LIKE GENERALS, AND THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST SWORDMASTERS: YOU CAN'T FUCKING RELY ON THE RNG! NEVER!

Defense is the best stat. You cares if you get crit if you can take the hit?

That, and the sound of "No Damage!" is music to my ears.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ftp46k24 oLtaguixs o2nlnwbe8 o

Draco, again? Well. Sure thing, pal!

Holmes looks great in all of these screenshots.

He's doing a dance in the first one, giving a horse a haircut in the second, and I noticed that only one of his arms has a metal arm guard while the other has the sleeve rolled up, which I believe is common for archers to do.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
1btmcofd oFzor8ee2 oKpu9i4md o

Zach exists for once in his life! Ain't that grand.

And he used a flashbang to hid his existance anyway.

Still, can't fault him for the tactical appraoch, even if you're supposed to use a flashbang before entering the room and engaging the enemy.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

J9yuswz8 oJeqzwail oNtj7pqmn o

Freeze, Snake!

I've been waiting to do that joke for way too long. Also, why did Youtube decide to be weird with sharing videos today?

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wilcsukf o

Holmes, can you stop doing the fancy flips on this garbage? You keep wasting that good luck, and when I actually need you to do it, you'll just do your normal sword slaps and I'll be mad at you. Again. ...again.

Goodness gracious, every frame of Holmes crit animation is gold.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
5vps7oju o

Well, at any rate, he didn't just warp out like most dark evil guys. He actually used his legs. I cannot believe it. I have a shred of respect for him, now. This is his niche as a bossman: Barbarossa is tragic and has a beautiful send-off, Ahab is deep and somewhat morally grey, Seamus is a hero and I still shed manly tears for him, Pavlov is an actually entertainingly written irredeemable bad guy... Nevkah doesn't use Cheap Warping Plot Devices to leave the battlefield. Full stop.

Well, if you want to be able to dodge 100% hit rates, ya got to be speedy. Looks like taking a walk everyday and not relying on 

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
K8jtcv23 o

Okay, that's a weird sentence...

It might be because I've been playing Hex Commander: Shogun Empire recently (the free phone version), but I read this in almost the exact same tone that commanders use to inspire their troops (1:21, because youtube is being weird today). 

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

04edcfbn oWhile the kings are off waging their selfish wars, the common people suffer...

0zfd96rn o You mean, kinda like you're fucking about Salia right now and your dad's fucking with a girl half his age, while Granada burns in anarchy? But at least Xyon didn't die for that shit, so that's something...

Did... Holmes having some abrupt character changes? There were hints as far back as right before he met his father, but he suddenly called Katri his "treasure" despite them not getting along (even if him realizing he was a jerk and feeling guilt over it makes sense, that's still a huge leap), and know he's caring about people when before it was just about treasurehunting.

Still, he still an idiot and a bad protagonist, so it's not like he's a completely different character, but these changes seem to be a little out of nowhere, honestly.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

E7ffcz4a oYes, that is why Salia needs a good king. An honorable king, with strength and kindness in equal measure. Lady Katri has a gentle heart, but she has not the strength to rule. What say you to the task, Sir Holmes? With Lady Katri at your side, you would make an excellent king.

...

WHAT?!?!?

She must be way out of the loop in order to say something like that.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
9jo2oyox o

F4aswdy8 o Hwahahah! Count on Shigen to make everything better. He's not quiiite as talented as Eugen at it, but he's getting there.

I imagine that a few more years of doing this, and Shigen and Eugen will have duels to see who can be the most snarky advisor.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, dammit. With that absolute nonsense, it is over. Next time...

Yeah, that scene made no sense. While the game had off days with the story before, here it just turned its brain off.

On 7/17/2019 at 2:24 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...wait.

I3jexi2b o

Is it... is it time already?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S THAT CHAPTER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Crap... next time's gonna be miserable. For me, at any rate. You'll all enjoy yourselves very much, I am sure. Fare well till then. I'll try to enjoy my last days before facing... the worst chapter in Tear Ring Saga. Look forward to it, I sure won't. Bye. Urgh...

Time to get some popcorn!!!

***

AND HOLY CRAP!!! 4 HOURS?!?!? I mean, I had dinner in-between then, and set something up to receive my paycheck, but still!

I really need to take a typing class.

***

On a more serious note, thanks for these updates. I mentioned at the start that I was having a rough week, and this put a much needed smile on my face. Thank you.

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Part 62 - A stroll in the swamp.

Three Days in just three houses! I mean... Well, you know what I mean. In case someone's wondering, no, I won't stop with the LP just because Three Houses is upon us. Berwick didn't get me to stop, so why would this? I am, however, afraid that the influx of readers will decrease following the release of 3H, resulting in an exponential reduction of the average amount of thread views per hour, which will negatively impact my ego. In other words, don't get too distracted, TRS will still be a better game than 3H.

Something:

Spoiler
On 7/17/2019 at 8:46 PM, Pengaius said:

You subconsciously want to use Arkis instead of Julia. 

Eh...

You REALLY want to use Arkis over Julia (Garo doesn't need the support to wreck face and if Arkis died to a low percent hit or crit you wouldn't care, also movement)

You know, you actually make some valid points here. Except for the part where Julia, despite being awful, kicks Arkis out of the park in every way. Maybe next time.

 

On 7/17/2019 at 8:57 PM, BrightBow said:

Zieg will move after a certain number of turns. Or maybe after the other guy leaves. Could be both, I suppose. Just saying it's normal for him to not move at the start but to start moving later.

Ah, I see.

As for his boss version, I don't think he actually automatically levels. Like, in Deltre's Let's Play Zieg still had 3 levels to grow to 25, and yet he returned with the exact same stats he left with despite the higher level. It's probably more something like Boss Zieg's stat get raised to a certain point if they are too low, like Gaiden promotions.
Although comparing your Boss Zieg to my Boss Zieg (from a save where I just killed him when he first appeared), your's has +1 magic, +5 luck and +1 WLV. Yes, my Boss Zieg only has 3 luck despite the playable Zieg's base luck being 8. I guess that's a side effect of killing him rather then letting him warm the bench.

How strange... Maybe Aethin could shed some light on the matter, if he has the time?

 

On 7/18/2019 at 6:16 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

It's perfectly timed for my dog's birthday though.

Yeah, but not for my great need.

So instead of a waifu simulator you're going "Elliot Roger" simulator?

Not really. That dude murdered because he wanted to fuck and couldn't. I'm going to be murdering for good ol' experience, nothing more. Well, and in Lorenz's case, because he stole Lorenz's name, and I really like Lorenz.

And, well, there's also the detail that I'll be murdering pixels whereas he murdered a handful of actual people. Gotta keep that in mind, as well.

But seriously, I always preferred the gameplay to the waifu sim aspect ( I mean it wasn't around initially), so I don't mind a de-emphasis. I'm aware a lot of people disagree, though. I'd have thought keeping it but removing the future kids would have been a good compromise because then I don't have to worry about it at all.

I agree that 3H's "waifu simulator" part isn't as bad as Fateswakening's, simply because the lack of kid units means the mechanic goes from being obscene to being harmless. Sure, the fact that you can romance Sothis, Flayn and Cyril kinda sickens me, and Alois having a family opens a can of worms that'd best be kept closed, to give a couple of examples; but since it's all completely optional, I can simply steer clear of the whole mechanic. Meanwhile, those who want it can just ship away to their hearts' content. Everyone wins.

Or not, since there seems to be an outrage going on because Claude isn't gay. I mean, I don't want to sound like a homophobe prick, but... is it really that important? This is a game about war, last I checked. I can totally understand being peeved because the selection of bi males is lackluster compared to the one of the opposite sex (let's be honest, the target audience for the gay pairings was still very obviously straight males first, actual homosexuals second), but... is it truly so important that we need threads upon threads of endless discussion on the matter? I've seen people claiming that they cancelled their pre-orders because of this. Are people truly so thirsty for Claude's imaginary cock that him being straight is a dealbreaker for you? That's a bit of an overreaction, I would think.

Anyway, leaving that aside; while the lack of child units is an improvement as I said earlier, the avatar being the only one who can fuck anyone is definitely a step backwards. While I've no interest in pairing Boringleth, I would've been fine with doing some pairings here and there, so long as I enjoyed the dynamic of the characters and the pairing wasn't completely out of character for them (kinda like in the old days, with the paired endings. Those tended to make sense). However, the fact that apparently only the avatar can be paired screams otaku pandering to me. Again, I can just avoid the mechanic without any gameplay repercussions, which is awesome, but... yeah, not a very good job there, IntSys.

Yeah. I unironically preferred the guy since the Super Mario Bros. 3 title screen, so I could be biased. I mean watch the sequence where he kicks the shell into Mario. Even back then he had more personality.

Hahah, yeah, that intro was pretty funny.

Wouldn't that be Supergirl? Wonder Woman doesn't exactly have the heat vision. She couldn't fly until after 1986. No super breath. She spent a long time not bulletproof so that blocking bullets with bracelets thing meant something. Then there's the lie-detector lasso. Funny enough, Wonder Woman's creator, William Moulton Marston, invented the lie detector. Mind he did envision Wonder Woman as an inspiration to young girls in the same way Superman was to young boys.

Okay, okay, sorry. Let me correct myself then: she's Superman except shittier. Which makes her a better character, because Superman himself is boring as all hell. There are ways to make him entertaining, but his concept in of itself is yawn-inducing.

Just going to assume the hat got damaged and he's had to settle on a replacement.

That's probably it. Getting those blood splatters out of the thing would've been a nightmare.

Who needs to promote when you're already a badass? The Jeigan philosophy.

I agree entirely.

Shigen dodging death? That seems to be his job.

Shigen: Certified Death Dodger. Part-time Pirate Privateer.

Well, that wasn't half the fight I expected. Good job I guess.

Er, thanks.

I'd post more but seeing as my (new) laptop is misclicking, I'm going to work out what I can do about the sensitivity issues there first. Before I end up accidentally visiting Pengaius' user page again.

Careful, Pengaius's user page is home to many a horrendous secret. Do not wander there without reason.

 

On 7/18/2019 at 7:35 AM, eclipse said:

On the upside, it means you'll have time to fully enjoy Three Houses before Luigi's Mansion shows up!

I guess that's as good an upside as any other.

Maruj was overdue for a good level.  GO GET MORE OF THEM~!

I'll try, but he needs to cooperate!

 

On 7/18/2019 at 3:38 PM, Goddess Serra said:

This made my day. Especially Galuf. Especially because I'm finally replaying FFV for the first time in at least two years. I love that game. Now excuse me, but I have to go grind some jobs (I'm still at Karnak but whatever, I enjoy the heck out of this game). Eugen=Galuf is GR9.

I myself am not that familiar with FFV (or any FF, for that matter; it's not a series that particularly calls out to me), but I've seen enough of Galuf to find the comparison perfectly plausible. All that's missing is him suggesting to backstab an ally for no reason at all. If anyone cares to fill me in, does Galuf ever do that?

(About TLP, @Saint Rubenio, how do you feel about other unpopular units? Like Karina, Asch and Haas?)

Well-- wait, Karina, Asch and Haas? Those are unpopular? Since when? Asch is widely considered to be the good option to Logan (and for good reason, too) and an extremely solid prepromote, while Karina pulverizes all of Anakin's earlygame and is one of the best fliers in the game. Haas... well, fair enough, he's often regarded as a worse Lyam, but he's still by no means considered to be terrible.

I'm going to guess by "unpopular" you mean "the guy who made the one screenshot LP of TLP didn't like them". I've read it a few times, and while it's a pretty entertaining playthrough, his opinions were kinda bogus at times. Just as TLP itself is a relic of the old days of FE hacking, Blastinus's LP is a relic of the old days when everyone was utterly convinced that prepromotes suck because muh EXP and that having low con is a dealbreaker. I mean, I hate to trashtalk the guy, I liked his LPs, but... He said Munio was a terrible idea.

Ninumfx0 oYnupixz3 o

Yeah. This is a terrible idea. Trivializing one of the scariest bosses in the game is a terrible idea, indeed. He complained about the 10 uses... if it had any more than 10 uses, the game would be over! It should have less uses, frankly!

An actual list of unpopular units from TLP would have to include Zach, Arthur, Mark and Eduardo, among some others, like Rachel, Sai, etc.

Eduardo grew pretty damn well, all things considered, being able to keep up with Howard and even surpassing him in a couple of areas. Mark's honestly really mediocre, I wish I had used Liquid instead, but I already had Mark supporting Shuuda and promoted with a master animate seal, so it would've been kind of a waste to drop him. Then Shuuda died in the 72-turn conquest map and I ended up dropping Mark anyway. Oh, well. Zach required a ton of investment and two energy rings, but he's doing fine. Supporting Yue really helps his case. As for Arthur, he's good in a vaccuum, but his main downfall is that, despite being a really solid Bishop, he falls flat in comparison to Anakin. The sleepyhead is around for far longer, gains experience faster, has a free promotion that arrives extremely early, is a refresher, and never takes up a deployment slot. I ended up giving Arthur the Ether Sphere, because he has no support partner, so he just couldn't keep up with Anakin and the rest of the army. Still, I'm happy with him.

Other than them, I used Rex, Kevin, Cia, Howard, Lyam, Yue, Emma and Ben. I tried using Lirin, but my team got too big, so she got the axe. I would also have liked to use Liquid and Rana, to name a couple. Perhaps next time, I've enjoyed the game enough that I know I'll replay it some time.

 

On 7/19/2019 at 6:44 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

I don't know how I missed the spoiler tab, but I was going to do the same joke. Also I reckon the "phantom" is actually just Galuf/Eugen using the same godlike powers he uses to resurrect Runan to talk to his old allies. Want me to add to the theory? Fine.

  Reveal hidden contents

Eugen didn't initially go to Razellia. His first stopover was Macedon. Here he had offspring (as it's established that he's a ladies man in chapter 2). He named his daughter after one of his former companions. Lena. Remember how Lena and Matthis were of a noble house? Yep. It's because their father was a king on another planet.
TL;DR Galuf = Eugen = Matthis Dad.
Matthis inherited badassery.

Oh my God. We've gone full circle. No going back now.

Also, playing the game at last I noticed things that weren't brought up in this LP that became relevant later. I mean the sequences with Julianattiscordst leaving Taurus hurt a whole lot more when you think what happened to him.

That's the kind of stuff you look back on afterwards to get depressed. "I will warpskip the chapter I hate", anyone?

But what just about killed me is the realization that Kaga was so damn sneaky with the source of the sword Julia got from Julianattiscordst's grandfather that it almost flew under the radar. A killing edge or scimitar left behind by a travelling merchant? I know a merchant that's rather edgy. Kaga even did this joke first.

VoDecgS.png

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha okay that's an awesome dig at the edgy shopkeep. My regards.

 

 

On 7/20/2019 at 12:06 AM, Hawkwing said:

Taking another computer/electronic fast. Since I have to take my laptop to class anyway today, I may as well knock this out.

EDIT: Aaaaand I still reply later than usual. I really need to cut back on the replies again.

Ah, well. You'll get 'em next time.

Also, went to a game store last Saturday (was forced to go clothes shopping without being warned ahead of time. At least something interesting was along the way). Got six games for $20 (had a "buy five, get a sixth one free" deal). No Shadow Dragon, unfortunately (or Snake Eater 3D, which was everywhere last time I visited), but I did get Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, Fable, The Incredibles, an American Army game, a James Bond game, and some prison escape game. I learned the hard way that I had not touched my XBOX in several months, and that we had $10 controllers after our good ones broke. For games that require precision shooting.  Yay.

Hahahah, see, I don't have these problems. I play mainly PC, and it doesn't get much more precise than a good mouse.

I want to be able to see Fates that way, but I just can't. The tropes are played too plainly for me to treat it as a parody. If they had more fun with the cliches, maybe, but as is, the story simply works, and that's it.

With that said, I do have fun trying to predict what tropes the game will use next. Just as the gameplay is putting my Fire Emblem skills to the test, the story is testing out my knowledge of TV Tropes, and I welcome both challenges.

That's something nice, at least.

Same, actually. The moment I heard Arthur speak, I knew I was going to use him, regardless of how he turned out. It's hard to hate his superhero ham, and you can tell his voice actor (Cam Clark, I believe) was having a blast with his lines. It helps that Arthur has the best supports that I've read so far in Fates.

Seriously, that name is way too overused. I think of four different people when I read the name! That's fucked up!

Well, if gamexplain is anything to go by, the game has less physical fanservice yet innuendos are commonplace. And in Echoes it's slightly hinted that Silque barely avoided getting… you know… And Three Houses is already darker than it appears at first…

I'm not expecting a one-for-one recreation of the Plum event, but needless to say I will not be surprised if Three Houses still has something horrific happen to one or more of the characters, even if it's only in a backstory and/or in-between the time skip.

I mean, think about it this way: somewhere in Kaga's notes lurks the Plum event. And this is looking to be the darkest FE to date. I'm just saying, the time is right.

And this time, I was almost going to post early, but ironically I ended up late.

That's life.

Yeah, even though the story is extremely cliched, little to nothing has happened that actually made me mad or annoyed. A good premise can do wonders for making me want to continue and see what happens next, even if the execution isn't the best. I'm also curious as to what happened behind the scenes. I know I'm forgiving towards some of Echoes flaws because time and money constraints prevented them from changing, improving, and expanding upon certain things (something that Fates is making even more obvious) and I'm curious if Fates is in a similar, if different situation.

I'm also thankful to the game opening my eyes to why some people don't like Awakenings supports. Even if it turns out that the Fates doesn't have Awakenings issue of being able to jump very quickly from a support of average quality to a hidden gem to a lackluster conversation and back again, the game not impressing me with the first few supports I viewed did wonders for helping me understand the position that others are in. I know I got lucky with Awakening (how many people can say that the second S support they unlocked turned a character they liked into their favorite character in the series? And that the one they obtained after that had a similar set up, but a lower quality execution, revealing that the game could alternate between good and bad conversations very quickly?), and while I understood the reasoning 

...and that's it? Now I feel like when I first played through half of Berwick and had to stop when the game begun speaking in Japanese.

At the moment, I'm just interested in the games story, as the little we've been told from reviewers greatly intrigues me. Granted, my lack of interest in the gameplay is probably due to not owning a switch yet, but the different perspectives and the mysterious set-up is holding my attention right now. I'm debating on how to view the story without playing the game myself, though, since I'm not the biggest LP watcher, yet SF will undoubtedly spoil things out of order.

As for the characters, I'll wait and see. At least I'm glad that the tropes are down to earth this time around. Don't want another round of "'They're just one dimensional anime tropes!' 'No! They're well-rounded three dimensional characters! Read their supports!'" Also, Claude probably will be a backstabber.

Frankly, I am worried that they'll be one-dimensional. 90% of the students seem to be stereotypes. Now, we don't know that much about them, so I won't write them off as awful just yet, but I've enough fears that the wait isn't unbearable. The Last Promise is doing a wonderful job at keeping me alive in the meantime. Gonna see if I do a second run. I wasn't strong enough to use Logan in my first, but this time, I shall be! Also, Kelik. I hate it, but I want all the secrets to try my luck with the postgame.

Still don't like the graphics, but I've accepted them and can hope that the next game improves upon them exponentially. Also, cutscenes have blood, and I hope that it's present throughout the  entire game and that they don't hold back with the violence. The animations have grown on me, even if I still have my issues and think that Echoes was far better.

Yeah, like I said in the last update, I enjoy the animations. The artstyle's also grown on me, somewhat. I still prefer FEDS because I'm weird, but it's not as horribly ugly as it felt at first. Hanneman exists in this artstyle, and Hanneman's looking to have one of my favourite designs in the series (seriously it's like a mix of all my favourite designs from past games, I love it), so there's that.

We, uh, we knew he was playable as far back as the first E3 trailer.

Actually, I'm pretty sure we didn't. In the first ever trailer, he appeared for two seconds and didn't even have a name (although I already loved his design back then). Then he had his twitter intro and he was all like "I'M GONNA EXPERIMENT ON YOUR FLESH", and people instantly assumed he'd be a villain. It wasn't until recently that it was confirmed he has supports, normal scenes, and overall just acts like any other character.

Having a bathroom filled with them helps. I try to save as many as I can when they unwisely make a web in my shower. Or near my sink when brushing my teeth.

Jesus Christ, that'd be a nightmare for many others. Including myself, honestly.

Are some kilts really that long, though?

Well... H-He's just a pioneer of the Scottish fashion industry!

The only time someone isn't afraid of the IRS is in post-apocalypse works that have no government to place taxes.

I'm sure they'd find a way to tax people even in that situation. It's the IRS.

At this point, I think humans know enough about fighting zombies that any actual outbreak would be resolved pretty quickly. Unless they're the fast ones.

Yeah, the fast ones would be trouble, but The Walking Dead zombies are pathetic.

I did not know that I needed this description in my life.

Heheh, you're welcome.

I know I would watch it, that's for sure.

And hey! Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones is in this film!

He'd only appear in the intro. It'd be like the Scream franchise, which always killed off a well-known actor in the first sequence so as to impact the audience. That's what would happen to Harry.

This is why I watch Youtube only in incognito mode. One day of searching and I already have a good idea of how chaotic it can get.

That's an understatement.

He would have been an ass back/first, but yes.

He already was an ass, by forcing me to sit through so much exposition.

The ambiguousness of the "he" makes this joke much better.

For all we know, the butterfly effect of Holmes being thrown into Guenchaos will cause the slaver to spontaneously combust in a painfully horrific manner.

Wait

Hahahahahahah...

Most real sword fights don't last beyond a second anyway.

Most sword fights end when someone draws a gun.

And Ostia Knight #3 stole the name from a pirate that killed Valbar's family.

Actually, no. That dude was called "Dahha" in japanese, they just changed it to Barth.

Strangely enough, Barth is the only boss in Echoes to have a recolor. Every other boss has a unique portrait.

The laziness.

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Ahahahah, perfect.

I made a seppuku joke about Maerchen, and didn't know what others would think of it.

Everyone enjoys poking fun at Maerchen, so...

Guess spins are so common in Star Wars that we subconsciously don't notice anymore.

I guess so, but that spin's downright embarrassing.

Also, dangit! I just spent 2 hours looking at “Everything Great about Star Wars” again! And this reply is late again.

Ah, no matter. Don't worry about it.

Not really. For the purposes of note taking, which was the main reason I bought it in the first place, it does rather well. And if it's an official game, then they run just fine, even if any mouse-heavy game is a pain to play.

Really, it's probably my fault that the sound is as bad as it is. I admit that I've punched it more than once when it was a source of temptation (having no free time during college and realizing I'm not as immune to distraction as I thought I was is not a pleasant combination, to say the least).

Goodness gracious, man! Calm down! Don't lash out on the computer, it'll be worse in the long run!

And it will make writing this update 10 times more epic as well. Thanks for that. Now lets see if I end up listening to the entire thing before this update is over...

Later: Okay, 30(-ish) minutes in, and I'm still replying to your replies. And this soundtrack is awesome. I will remember to give it a listen again in the future.

Yeah, TRS has an amazing soundtrack, just like Berwick. I have no idea who made Kaga's music, but they did a great, great job.

My interview questions.

Been meaning to do this for over a year. Oh well. Better late than never (@The Roger The Paladin can answer any that wasn't in his interview. Sorry, man, but I got busy and missed the opportunity to ask all of mine) :

Oof! That's quite a lot. I'll do my best.

  1. Obligatory First/Current Impressions Question?

I recall I first met you in the > ^ v game thread, where you just casually went off-topic to tell me "hey I love your stuff!". I was throughoutly flattered. To summarize my first impressions, "dude who hasn't gotten around to replying but actually likes my stuff, so that's reassuring!".

As for current, I think you're a pretty intellectual guy. You're also surprisingly metal, with a taste for violence that I wouldn't have imagined from your mild manners and refusal to curse. Yours are some of my favourite replies, due to how detailed they are, even if that means I spend way too long on 'em!

  1. Do you read Awkward Zombie? If so, favorite comic?

Mostly the FE ones. I think my favourite would have to be the one where Hector gets skewered by a lance, but no damage, so he just slides down the spear to face the terrified soldier, with a murderous glare. It's so true.

  1. Do you read any webcomics?

Nope, I'm afraid not. The closest thing would have to be Screenshot LPs, which I like to read from time to time. I was inspired by many of them at the LPArchive, as well as a Sword of Heaven and Earth (Japanese FE7 hack) here in Serenes. Sadly, this last one is kinda dead, which is a shame, because it was the one that convinced me to try my hand at LPing here in this forum.

  1. Favorite Newspaper comic?

What's a newspaper?

  1. Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Back when I went to college for three months, at my student housing, they served us pizzas from time to time. They were quite the fascinating pizzas: the slices were all flabby and felt undercooked, but then there were also burnt patches everywhere! To this day, I've never understood how they managed to pull that off.

  1. Trampolines. Like/dislike/don’t care for them?

I loved them when I was younger. Haven't gotten on one for a long time. Perhaps I should.

  1. Thoughts on my accidental advertising of Blustone?

Thoughts on my """""""""""accidental""""""""""""" advertising of Berwick? There's your answer.

  1. Do you play any mobile games?

Never found one that kept me hooked for long. Pocket Trains is definitely the one that lasted the longest for me. FE Heroes got me for a whopping 2 days.

  1. Thoughts/Opinions on Indiana Jones?

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Get it? No? Well, here's another one.

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Check my Steam account for the whole collection. Yes, I do have a veritable collection of funny IJET pictures.

  1. Oldest book you’ve ever read?

You mean, as in "first book I've read"?

If so, I can't be sure, but other than child's books... Sherlock Holmes. The whole series. I ate it up way back when I was in elementary school. Didn't understand half of it, but it was great. I'm in the middle of re-reading Study in Scarlet right now. I might just pick up the whole series again, it's been too long. I can barely remember little bits of it!

  1. Oldest movie you’ve ever watched

Hmm... just like with books, I'm not sure, but... a good bet would have to be the Super Mario movie. Back when all I ever played was Mario (or, rather, Luigi). I remember spending the first 10 minutes in utter confusion, because I couldn't recognize either of the actors as Mario and Luigi. Only when Mario namedropped his brother was I sure that my mom hadn't set up the wrong movie.

  1. Favorite Fictional Villain?

Oooooooooooooof... that's a hard one.

  1. Favorite Pixar Movie?

Don't have one.

  1. Favorite Disney Movie?

The Hunchback of Notredame. Even though I haven't watched it in its entirety.

  1. Favorite Fire Emblem Meme?

I have too many FE memes I love, but I've always enjoyed "In America!". It's just so easy to use in most situations. Honorable mentions to Wrys in general (his FE12 introduction is pure gold) and Jagen showing Lang what a real man is.

  1. Favorite Character in Super Smash Brothers?

Toss up between Luigi and Lucas.

  1. Favorite video game weapon?

Oh, goodness... this kind of question always pisses me off, because I really can't choose. There are so many! Luigi's Poltergust (any of its iterations) would be an obvious choice (especially the one from 3, that looks like it's gonna be fun), but then there's the Ultimate Chimera from Mother 3 (technically a weapon, I suppose?), the Pallas Leia from Berwick (that's the one spell that summons two suns to torch the enemy, I love that shit), anything from Metal Slug, the Outside's powers from Dishonored 2 (2 in particular, I like that one better from a gameplay perspective)...

Hmmm... well, I'll settle for one: TF2 Medic's Blutsauger. Medic uses syringe guns for offense. Everyone hates these things, because instead of hitscan bullets, they fire syringe projectiles which travel slowly and fall in an arc after a while. However, with enough practice, a master of the syringe guns can shred through most low-health classes in a couple of seconds. This particular syringe gun reduces Medic's passive health regeneration (he's the only member of the cast who has that, since he can't heal himself) in exchange for a more offensive approach: hitting someone with this little beauty gives the Medic 3 points of health.

As a Medic main, I always disliked the typical playstyle that's just healing and screaming helplessly when attacked. I'm not a full-blown battle medic, I still heal, but when my patient dies or I'm alone, rather than run, I prefer to attempt to score some kills for myself. That's why, when an unsuspecting enemy charges me, I pull out this thing, and use their underestimation of my class to my advantage. It works way more often than you'd think, people never believe that a Medic could possibly beat them until it's too late. Pair that up with the Solemn Vow, a literal bust of Hippocrates with a plaque that says "do no harm" that you use to whack people on the head with, which has the special property of allowing the Medic to see the enemy's health, and you get the perfect kit for a Medic that isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. Like the Medic himself says, "the healing isn't as rewarding as the hurting".

I suppose it's kind of a mundane choice, but you have no idea how much fun I've had with this thing. Currently got over 2300 kills on my Blutsauger, and each and everyone of them brought a satisfied smile to my face.

  1. Favorite Fictional Invention?

Another one of these?!

Hmmmm... well, I'm not so sure about this one. Perhaps Kirin Jindosh's mansion from Dishonored 2. That level is awesome, it's a huge manor whose layout changes when you activate mechanisms to reveal different rooms and passages. Really creative stuff.

  1. Something you’re glad you tried, but will never do again?

College. I mean, never say never, no? I might do it again sometime, but I just... I spent 3 months there, and I absolutely despised it. Maybe it didn't help that the career I chose wasn't for me, but fuck. I really, truly hated it. That said, I learned a lot from the experience, so I'm glad I gave it a shot.

  1. Something that seems to bother others, but never/rarely you?

...I give up. I've been on this one for way too long and I simply cannot think of anything. If I come up with something, I'll let you know.

  1. Something you want to like, but can’t for one reason or another?

I really tried to like The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. Never got past the first dragon. I just got sidetracked and bored every time I tried the game.

  1. Something you wish had a sequel?

Return of the Obra Dinn. Best damn detective game I've ever played. The premise is that you, an insurance inspector, go to a boat that disappeared years ago and only just now returned to port, with all of its crew missing. You have to figure out the fate and identity of every single member of the crew using a pocket watch that lets you witness the final moments of a person.

It lasted me for about a week, and it hooked me so badly, I spent my days thinking about it, thinking about things that I hadn't tried, hypothesis that I'd later try out, ideas that just came to my mind. And every time I made a discovery? Brutally satisfying. The only bad thing? There's only one of it. I want more of it. Just, literally the same game, but with a different premise and different puzzles. Please, Lucas Pope, gimme.

While we're here, let me use this chance to recommend the game to everyone. It's one of the best games I've played in a while.

  1. Thoughts/opinions on the Elder Scrolls?

See above.

  1. Tropes:

...well? What's the question?

  1. Favorite/Least Favorite story trope/cliche?

Oh. Well, I'm probably going to be grasping for straws a bit here, so please forgive me if what I respond doesn't seem tropey enough.

Favourite story trope: probably the self-sacrifice to save another. Nothing more epic than a person who gives themselves up for the sake of somebody else. Whether it's an act of redemption, love, begrudging respect or else, it's always badass.

Least favourite story trope: Twist villain who comes out of nowhere. A villain needs to make sense before they surprises everyone. Think Heavy Rain's villain: yeah, noone saw that one coming, but that's because it made no sense at all. You can find these everywhere, and they're always a downer, regardless of the quality of the story surrounding them.

  1. Favorite/Least Favorite character trope/cliche?

Favourite character trope: the snarky ones. They're just so much fun to watch. Example, He Who Punched Holmes.

Least favourite character trope: the Navarre from Fire Emblem, which is to say, edgelords in general. I believe I've said enough on the subject.

  1. Favorite/Least Favorite gameplay trope/cliche?

Favourite gameplay trope: fights with former allies. I'm always a sucker for those. Take, for instances, the battles against Albus and Barlowe in Order of Ecclesia. I mean, look at my profile pic. Do I need to say anything more?

Least favourite gameplay trope: people who don't die when they get killed. It happens in all sorts of genres, and it's always so very convenient. You'll beat this guy to a pulp, but then he just gets up and warps away or something. No, dude. Find a way to make it believable. Like, have him escape when his HP is low enough or something, don't just let him die and then go "oh nu he actually didn't die". Someone lasting a little longer after dying is fine, though. Sometimes you need to that to be able to make a scene to move the plot forward. Just, make sure they're dead by the time the scene ends.

And that's all the ones that I didn't ask (or have) last time.

It was quite the experience to answer them. Some were really hard, though.

I mean, I attack random trading ships all the time in Sid Meiers Pirates!, so I understand why he attacked them. What I'm confused by is why he never sold off the cargo to the nearest port or took all the gold from the ship. Or add it to his fleet for more cargo space. That's the main advantages of attacking trader ships. If I wanted a promotion or a new powerful boat, I would attack a warship.

He's a noob, that's the answer.

I see. And Gramud looks like a titan of a man. It is a shame he was unused.

Yeah. I can only hope they found a way to use him in Vestaria Saga, since that game uses a ton of unused assets from Berwick and Tear Ring.

Man, ever since we met his dad, the perspective on Holmes stupidity and jerkishness has changed, hasn't it? Sure, he's still a dumb protagonist that can't do anything right, but we have an explanation for why that's the case.

Yeah, at least now we know why he's the way he is.

I think is was mentioned a few times back then that it was a no-win situation. Something bad would happen if she had the bracelet, and something bad would happen without it.

Yeah, sadly.

I know. He's just angrier than usual in this scene.

Can you blame him?

You are very welcome.

Hahah, great.

Interesting. I've taken a PLC class before, but it felt like I missed some sort of prerequisite, because we were figuratively throw onto the devices without really having a lesson on how they worked. I could program something, sure, but I couldn't tell you why it worked if I tried. The class I'm currently taking conversely started out slower, but it did a better job of helping me understand why this does that and so on. Also, the professor believes that if you know it, you can write it down, so there are no multiple choice questions in the class (Cue inward rejoicing and screaming).

Multiple choice questions can be both good and bad, depending on the teacher. Like exams in general. What I'm getting at is, exams suck.

I know that there was blood in Binding Blade, and Echoes snuck some in a single scene, but Three Houses has blood that pooled under a dead man, got on a weapon, got on someone's fingers and face who wasn't dying. And said blood wasn't in the trailers, meaning that certain scenes that we've been shown will be even more violent!

Yeah, I was just pointing out that there has been blood in the past, but none of it compares to the new one.

Why am I so excited about this?

Because it's you, my dear murderous cinnamon roll. If you weren't excited, I'd be worried!

A lowercase 'r' looks enough like an 'n' that this spelling error doesn't bother me.

Okay, fair enough.

When I go to comment and say something funny or sexy, and all I do is end up shitting on myself

Hwahahahahahah...

Fair point.

Yay I won.

Hence why they're benched.

Except for the thief dude, but his interactions with Eugen is making up for you using him.

In all fairness, I am not using him seriously, just out of necessity, because Runan has no other Thieves.

Aye. It was most certainly a different time back then.

Those memes got disturbing. No wonder they were banned everywhere.

I see. Still, you've made me want a healer with that kind of past, although I've heard that a bishop in FE7 had something similar to it.

Renault, yes. My favourite character from that, my least favourite FE. Take that as you will.

I was thinking she appeared that early in the game.

And interesting hint, even if I don't feel like researching it at the moment. I'm fine with being surprised.

Sure, sure.

Maybe he could have attempted to convince Runan that a flick would be enough? Runan would probably say no anyway, but you never know...

Eugen probably gave him a small flick anyway. He's a rebel.

I kinda did. Once again, they're awesome, and it's great to hear an in-universe explanation for gameplay mechanics. IS, steal from Kaga again, will ya?

Hahahahah, they do enjoy to steal from him, so we just have to wait for them to get to that point of his notes.

I will when I get the chance.

I tend to get tired the closer towards the end of these updates. Especially longer ones, which I've found myself in again.

To be fair, you had to reply to two updates in this case.

***

Since I've spent enough time on this as is, I want to do a paint.net joke, and I have two (thankfully shorter) updates to cover, I will be splitting this reply into two. Part 2 will come in an hour or so!

I was asleep the whole time, so for me it didn't matter.

 

On 7/20/2019 at 4:17 AM, Hawkwing said:

F*ck, my previous post was a pain in the butt to submit. Apologies to the mods if I end up double posting.

If you couldn't tell already, I'm not having the best of weeks. And no, it's not just because I couldn't be on a computer for a few days. Just dealing with some personal issues, is all.

I hope things get better for you soon.

While I knew from the beginning this was spelled backwards, it took me longer than it should have to realize that you had already said this sentence earlier.

Well, I was returning to the past, wasn't I?

It wouldn't be a Saint Rubenio Lets Play without something weird happening, and this just codifies even further that we're reading the right Lets Play.

Hahahahahah, well, if I play Berwick, it'll be more difficult to break it. That one's perfect, after all.

Somehow, Footballman managed to speak spelling errors out loud.

He just said "GoD D".

Heh heh heh heh heh

It's a bug, yes, but I've heard that Fates has a map were your army is cloned, and whatever happens to one affects the other. So Kaga frickin did it first.

Again!? Fuck me sidewasy!

So... Katri either mistook Mr. Chaos for her mother or she was finally taught stranger danger, Mr. Chaos is asking for com(munications), Katri refuses, Mr. Chaos claims that Katri has chos, and Katri screams and then starts saying Santa's catchphrase, but doesn't finish.

Or she wanted to call him "hoe".

These alternative universes are getting stranger and stranger.

We must count on Eugen to fix the world.

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This was more of a pain to make than it should have been. F*ck paint.net at times.
Hahahahahaha, that's TRS in a nutshel.

Also, I did not know that TearRing Saga had vocals. I thought Youtube autoplayed Three Houses music for a second.

Yeah, that's a song that plays at the end of the game. It's pretty amazing.

The fact that this was entirely unintentional makes it a million times better.

I even went up the tower once off-screen, looking for special Krishna scenes. Had I thought to have Shigen talk to her in floor 5, I would've done it by accident entirely!

Things like this make me wish Fire Emblem was an action game at points.

Well, the new FE allows to move freely around the map to engage in combat. Which is... pretty pointless and cumbersome, and only exacerbates how awful the graphics are, but eh. E for effort.

This got a larger laugh out of me than it should.

Hahahaha, I'm glad.

Oh Holmes. You may have gained a shred of sympathy after meeting your dad, but you are still way to easy to make fun of.

That he is.

Sadly. He was the only guy in Holmes initial crew except Shigen who wasn't a jerk, an idiot, or both.

Yeah.

I still remember the memes I made.

They looked like they had some solid chemistry together. Granted, so did Holmes, but that was the combustible and acidic kind.

Isn't that Holmes's chemistry with everyone?

You were right that it was easy to take out of context. The game itself just did so.

Haha, yep.

Well, the story was taking an off day, and Holmes tricked himself out of the scene, so I guess there wasn't much to complain about him there. Katri, on the other hand...

Yeah, right.

The start made me sympathetic to Holmes after he realizing that he really is a jerk. The punchline made me laugh my head off.

Bwahahahah, that wasn't even meant to be a joke, I really did feel sorry for him.

Guess everyone bought into your talk that Holmes could hit Guenchaos from around the world if anything happened.

Oh, for fuck's s-- it was a joke, everyone!

Instead, he was meeting with Runan and the nicest he's been in a while.

Oh, the irony.

Poor dude... he was punished for being nice with bad news. From Eugen, of all people, too!

And then it will do a ton of damage, but all of our units will come out okay.

Unless Kaga is Kaga again and everyone dies.

Ahah... you'll see, oh will you see.

This is the kind of dialogue Fates wants to achieve but fails to pull off. At least from what I've gathered so far.

That's TRS for ya. FE but better. Just joking not really.

Also, Holmes_is_very_sad_boohoo.png.

Ahahahahahahah, yeah. I was very inspired that day.

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Master of stelph.

Ah, the common downside of Fire Emblems cast. Individual characters know something, yet can't tell the lords because they might be dead by then.

Good ol' FE. Only the Malledus can talk. Good thing this one's not insufferable, at least.

Freudian Slip

Seriously, though. Where did this come from?

The bottomless void that is Holmes's brain. That's where.

At this point, I'm honestly expecting "in a few decades, he was the new Eugen" to be somewhere in Shigens ending.

That'd be hilarious, but keep in mind that endings in TRS don't work quite like endings in FE.

It was probably quite literally "the shop", leaving several machinist confused when there were no machines there. Fortunately, the owner was edgy enough that they were able to cut and complete their parts anyway.

Pfffwahahahahahahah... I loved that one.

I just noticed now that Arkis killed the Gargoyle by stabbing its leg.

Do they have quite literal Achilles Heels?

I don't think I care to find out.

Aside from the colors being slightly darker, did anything really change?

He adopted the same sprite as Kreiss.

Part of it, at least. It most certainly sped things up.

I think it was mostly a combination of multiple things.

Is that Dolth? Does he summon Necrodragons and have some very slight story relevance?

Oh, wow. Definitely looks like him. Kaga did it first!

Or is he a dark elf?

Maybe Dolth is a dark elf!

So... what are their beliefs, then? With the exception of the Duma Faithful (because the lesson of "hardship builds character" devolving into "power is the only thing that matters" isn't too hard to picture) and Mila's followers (reliance on prosperity results in exactly what you'd expect), has any Fire Emblem game really gone in depth for the belief system of the evil cult?

Err... I hate to have to suggest this, but... go back and read the Law bible. You'll find some answers there.

This...

Wha...

This... sums up too much... too much... of Holmes route...

How far into the writing process did Kaga decide to make this self-aware joke?

I have no idea. Maybe it's a liberty by Aethin, I dunno. Either way, it's just... so perfect...

Except the shopkeeper was already playable, then became an NPC, then joined out their own free will...

Meanwhile, the other shopkeeper was an NPC, then a recruitable character, except they revealed that they were a different shopkeeper, and there are multiple shopkeepers that are less combat able on the map...

...Where was I going with this?

I have no idea.

...Except we knew that as early as the first E3 trailer.

See above.

I can see why you want to use him, though:

fu77ryo1gw931.jpg

Yeah, Hanneman is like a mixture of the "dapper old gentleman who wants all things to be tidy and perfect" and "mad scientist willing to sacrifice anything for his research" stereotypes, and I love the end result. I also like his name, partly because it's awesome, partly because he didn't steal it from anybody. Also, he's a Mage. I absolutely love that. If professors can be reclassed, I can't wait to make him my Dark Mage / Bishop. Pretty sure it should be possible, since in the class reel that was uploaded to Youtube, you can see Hanneman himself as a Dark Bishop and he's glorious. And on top of all that, his design is the best in the entire game. That monocle, that stache, that green tie, that jacket! I love everything about him. Even his voice is perfect, it has just the right amount of british.

Yeah, Byleth's lack of customizability is weird, considering that the options previous avatars had was one of the few universally praised things about them. Strangely, in all of the gameplay videos shown so far, Byleth is the only one that can S-Support (although whether this means becoming best friends or actual romance is up in the air. The fact that supposedly on of the "gay" options is a man that is already married and has a daughter makes me wonder if the former will be present, since if you can actually marry the guy, then that has several potential implications of what could happen, and I can't say I'm a fan of any of them). I also really don't understand why the male and female have different costumes, especially since Male Byleths robes are pretty unisex and the past avatars wore the same default outfit (granted, female Robin wore a skirt as a grandmaster and I think female Corrin has thigh windows when promoted, but the former is relatively harmless while the latter is pushing it it is still far from the worse example of different designs for the same class).

I can answer your last question: it's to sell the outfit DLC. The rest can be blamed on IntSys being bad at avatars.

I am curious if there are any huge enough personality differences (whether subtle or obvious) between male and female Byleth that there's a reason they're split and are wearing different outfits. There were differences between the male and female avatars in supports in the past, but those never affected the story at large.

Apparently, Femleth is more expressive in scenes. Other than that, they're both completely devoid of character.

Is it bad that while everyone else was excited/wondering about same-sex options, I was just curious if there was a way to officially declare celibacy?

Hey, I just wanna kill people for experience. Couldn't care less about same-sex options, or opposite-sex options, or anything-sex options. I wouldn't even marry Hanneman, as much as I love the guy - in fact, I'd go as far as to say that it's completely out of character for him to marry Femleth, yet he can be romanced because modern FE is like that.

I probably would have said that joke earlier elsewhere, but I don't know how people would respond to it.

I wouldn't recommend you go anywhere more public than this, like the subreddit. Oh, for the love of God, don't say anything there. They're obsessed with the whole topic of romance and same-sex options. You'd get lynched.

So... You'll be doing a Byleth and Dmitri and Hannenman solo run?

Interesting choice for a first playthrough.

Hahahahah, not quite. It'd be beautiful, but not quite. Still, Hanneman's definitely going to be a part of the main team, no matter what it takes. Other characters I'm interested in are Ingrid, Gilbert, Seteth... yeah, basically the adults are the ones I care about, and then a few students. Frankly, for the students, I'm mostly waiting on that supposed "depth" that everyone's talking about.

Since when have witches done something smart?

Sometimes they do. Like that time, she nearly killed Plum.

Defense is the best stat. You cares if you get crit if you can take the hit?

Ah, here's a man of culture!

That, and the sound of "No Damage!" is music to my ears.

I agree. It's just great. In TRS, if it's an arrow or throwable weapon, you can even see the thing bounce off the unit and fly out of view!

Holmes looks great in all of these screenshots.

He's doing a dance in the first one, giving a horse a haircut in the second, and I noticed that only one of his arms has a metal arm guard while the other has the sleeve rolled up, which I believe is common for archers to do.

I guess is so the string doesn't get caught up with the clothes?

And he used a flashbang to hid his existance anyway.

Still, can't fault him for the tactical appraoch, even if you're supposed to use a flashbang before entering the room and engaging the enemy.

Hey, he's trying. For a guy who doesn't exist, it's quite the commendable effort.

Freeze, Snake!

I've been waiting to do that joke for way too long. Also, why did Youtube decide to be weird with sharing videos today?

Isn't it always weird?

Also, that link only sends me to the main Serenes forum page.

Goodness gracious, every frame of Holmes crit animation is gold.

Agreed. He has that, at least. Although that's his draco animation, not his crit. We'll see his normal crit today.

Well, if you want to be able to dodge 100% hit rates, ya got to be speedy. Looks like taking a walk everyday and not relying on 

...rely on what?

It might be because I've been playing Hex Commander: Shogun Empire recently (the free phone version), but I read this in almost the exact same tone that commanders use to inspire their troops (1:21, because youtube is being weird today). 

Okay now I'm motivated.

Did... Holmes having some abrupt character changes? There were hints as far back as right before he met his father, but he suddenly called Katri his "treasure" despite them not getting along (even if him realizing he was a jerk and feeling guilt over it makes sense, that's still a huge leap), and know he's caring about people when before it was just about treasurehunting.

Still, he still an idiot and a bad protagonist, so it's not like he's a completely different character, but these changes seem to be a little out of nowhere, honestly.

He did kinda flip when Katri was taken. I can see why that'd be, he's probably contemplating his whole life now that he's failed miserably to uphold his promises to her, but yeah, it does feel like it comes a bit out of the blue.

...

WHAT?!?!?

She must be way out of the loop in order to say something like that.

She's been with the King and Queen all this time. Guess they told her just how great he is, because he's responsible for them seeing Katri again. Even though, once again, he fucking isn't.

I imagine that a few more years of doing this, and Shigen and Eugen will have duels to see who can be the most snarky advisor.

I can only imagine that the day Eugen loses, he'll shed a single manly tear, put his hand on Shigen's shoulder and say "my job here is complete. You're ready, son. Go give that good-for-nothing blonde what for!".

And then he'll die standing, like a badass.

Yeah, that scene made no sense. While the game had off days with the story before, here it just turned its brain off.

Urgh...

Time to get some popcorn!!!

URRRGHHH!!

***

AND HOLY CRAP!!! 4 HOURS?!?!? I mean, I had dinner in-between then, and set something up to receive my paycheck, but still!

I really need to take a typing class.

You kinda do.

***

On a more serious note, thanks for these updates. I mentioned at the start that I was having a rough week, and this put a much needed smile on my face. Thank you.

Ahahahah, would you look at that, I make someone happy! In all seriousness, I really appreciate this. Thanks for the kind words!

 

Or other:

Spoiler
O3oszzpo o

Oh, goodness gracious... this one.

Qblt24ej o

One use of Paces a-Hundred Yet Still I Cure won't be enough. Have another one.

Vxauvlo8 o9lgagtov o

For some reason, Maruj is already in the map when the others walk in. Okay.

Ci6abust o

E7ffcz4a oBut ever since those fiends of Gerxel invaded the Shrine, it's become a den for monsters.

04edcfbn oBut this is the best path to the temple, so we've got to take it, right? We'll just have to grit our teeth and endure the stench.

E7ffcz4a oBe on your guard, Lord Holmes. These swamps are filled not only with fell creatures, but also the servants of Gerxel. Be particularly careful of Witches. With their warping magic, they can ambush you when you least expect it.

0zfd96rn o I don't understand, why are you giving me tutorials on Witches this late into the game? In fact, hilariously enough, Witches can't ambush anyone all that well in this chapter, because they can't traverse swamp tiles.

4lt3brpp o Speaking of swamp tiles!

M6j1goxo o

Welcome to the worst map in the history of mankind. It's so bad, I made a mistake cropping it, so now it looks like one of the Harpies has a bigger bust. Direct your eyes away from that, and towards the southeastern part of the map, where all the Lancers and the Dark Mages are.

Gvunrqho o

See this guy? The imaginary line between this guy and the mountain marks the limit of the swamp tiles. Everything else? Swamp. Swamp, swamp, swamp. Our starting position? Swamp. I had to cut down on the amount of deployed units because Tom and Zachariah outright cannot move in this map. The Sages and Plum get a single point of movement, most others get 2, and Holmes and Garo get 3. That's it. But the enemies don't have to suffer those penalties, oh no. The Harpies and Dracozombies fly, so they get their full movement, and don't receive damage from the swamp. As well, Witches spawn next to the boss (where the first one is standing at the beginning) every single turn. Like I said earlier, Witches can't move through swamp tiles, but they can land anywhere they please, so if they teleport next to one of the units, they'll get a free shot at us - and with the swamp constantly dealing chip damage to everybody (except Yoda, for some unfathomable reason), it's only a matter of time before they're capable of one-shotting us. And even if they miss us, chances are we won't be able to reach them either, so that just means we'll have to pray to sweet Anna that she and the newest reinforcement Witch don't zero in on the same unit the following turn.

And that's just the start. After a bazillion turns, when the units finally manage to make it to firm ground, they'll inevitably get bombarded by Lancers, Dark Mages with their usual array of dark spells (including the extremely dangerous Death, which sports a high critrate), and that one unreachable Shadow Bishop standing to the left of the Witch, who has Meteor. The combination of physical and magical enemies ensures that everyone gets a shot at dying. There's no way to avoid any of this, unless you do something hilarious, like have Meriel fire off the Aura Nukes twice to kill everyone right then and there. And don't forget that, while this is all happening, the Witches will still be spawning.

So what's the strategy here? Simple: have Renee alive and in this army. Warp someone strong in and have them kill the boss. Then you warp Holmes to the seize point.

Oh, what's that? You don't got no Renees because Attrom died? Sierra is in the hard route to make it easier? Sent all your fliers there for the same purpose? Awwwww, Kaga feels just sooooooooo sooooooooorry for you! Too bad, now you gotta play this map as intended: a punishment for Kaga's daughter whenever her father catches her playing a modern FE game!

I, quite literally, have no assets to make my life easier here. All I can do is have Garo solo the entire map, and not because I want him to, but because he's the only one who can move at a semi-reasonable pace. This is the one map where 30 turns isn't going to be my normal, relaxed pace, it's going to be my top speed.

Casyeabp o

Anyway, first order of business is resetting to rearrange our starting formation.

4aikywb0 oPqnyhhql o

There we go. Now Garo can reach this Dracozombie in the first turn.

Rkmb4f2z oJy90s8pe oK0e5jcla o

A lil' bit o' Flurry does it in fast.

Pqk8eou6 o

Sadly, Raquel cannot reach this other Dracozombie, even with a boost from Plum.

Tybo7whh o

So let's instead give that boost to Shigen. Just for fun and EXP.

Zodjuwom o

...you... you...!

6y9d1oww o

Progress. Little so, but...

Ri63rytu oOirwlrcy o

Hah! Fool! Now you'll get a shot at us... next turn... alongside one of your partners in warping...

Fuck!

Ifnblaf0 o

Gah...

Zuflq24c o

And now I get to watch as everyone takes 1-5 points of damage. One at a time. Joy.

X2ipvx7w o

Thank goodness for emulator throttle, eh? It might not be faithful to the original experience, but when the original experience is utter misery, I don't think you can convince me to give much of a damn.

X8qs4lex oKygijnmq o

Garo gets a Harpy.

Q7yvuj1l o

With Plum's help, Shigen gets to the Witch. I will not allow her to roam freely!

Eb1otkau o

Nice dodge. Now for the finisher!

8mljigup oFrrfdrij oTjf9fyrz o

Hahah! Finished in style! That's my Shigen. Your father will be proud!

29ejrfla o

It's rather disheartening to see just how little we've moved. I could probably skip some stuff, but nah. If I'm going to suffer through this, you'll suffer through this. Unless you skip ahead, of course, but that would kinda defeat the purpose of reading the LP at all, wouldn't you say?

Xgnvmlgc oNkjanutn o

Oh, come now...

Aycnpogf o

G-Guh! Oh, blistering barnacles! NOOOOOO THE SWAMP!

Kizarwpt o

Oh, phew... the swamp only deals damage proportional to the unit's HP, so Plum only loses one HP. Besides, I'm fairly certain the swamp can't kill by itself. Still, I need to heal her up ASAP.

Lvusyejj oV3nsxlof o

Rishel volcanoes that Bitch.

Jkn57kzr o

Then Holmes doubles back to give our last healer a second chance at life. I repeat, he doubles back. In this map, of all maps. Life's just marvelous.

4dc4y43j oZf7tuhjc o

You had better not die today, kid. Holmes is going to take three more turns to get to the seize point because of you.

2p3bdf7x o

Have some more healing and a charm for the road, just in case.

D8ggeuvg o

Look at this! Garo's the only one doing anything, and then Julia's barely keeping up with him to support him! The others are there just 'cause!

M6keswfw o

Ah, but that's just perfect! She's just far enough to be unable to attack anyone, but close enough for Krishna to deal with her next turn. Hah!

Tyiaoefe oZefpmayo oDreu9av0 o

But first, Garo. No, the dragon didn't hit him.

Yo0u6cmn oPux3xm1z oEmqjulkd o

At this point I'm just wondering why I use any unit other than Garo. And, well, Julia, for supporting purposes.

Axyjuhx6 o1hjiic1q oA8dlon3t o

Ah, but let's not be too hard on the others. They're doing a fine job, it's just the map that hates them all.

Jfimugjd o

Oh my gosh, defense now? How?

Ewxkzflr oPdjrugem oFvwgzvyi o

The usual stuff. It may not look like it, but Garo dodged that arrow.

Slwpcvx8 o

This Dracozombie is trying to flee. Normally I'd laugh, but in this case, there's no way I'll ever be able to catch it, so...

90xz38hs oZ74zg3fw oLccgmdxn o

Anyhow, Holmes puts down the Witch while Garo cleaves a Harpy in two.

Lruaic1h o

Awesome as ever, Garo.

7zc7o4f6 o

We're still only halfway through... unnnhhh...

2pgq1pun o

Sonnenblume warped in the middle of her allies, so that just means we'll have to handle two next turn.

Va7a0mxj o

Eh? What's going on now?

Ktxivhaz o

Wait... I know this guy! This is the garbage bag with stained glass on top of it for no reason! He was the boss of the chapter where Attrom and Juliattisnacordst died! He's back?!

Nuytcwns o

NO! HE'S COME TO FINISH THE JOB! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPH!!

Ppqfulav oY7zmehiq o

Thankfully, only Rishel receives damage, the rest all dodge. They dodge an earthquake. Don't look at me, I'm just glad that they did! However, this does takes us to the final dickmove of the chapter. And as you can see, it's a great one.

Ndngvdky o

The friggin' boss of the chapter has earthquake. Every five turns, he gets a free potshot at every single member of the team. And for the event that someone makes it to him, by the year 4279 no doubt, he has Death. Y'know, just so he has a higher chance to ruin my run at the last second.

And as if all of this wasn't dumb enough, he's a recolor - nay, a literal sprite reuse, without any lines of dialogue beyond his painfully generic combat banter, named Perishte. Perishte! He's literally called "perish"! Can this get any more stupid?!

B29wsphl oNsjlkln1 o

Ah, fuck it. Heal up, Rishel. Wouldn't do to lose you here.

C4bdmsqx oWkh6unxo o

I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? You were up against the Yoda himself.

Ubwqalyc o3sbi55rk o

Second one goes after Shigen. He actually got hit? Oh, noes! Too bad she attacked at melee range. Shigen cut her to ribbons right after she was done having cute little snakes cuddle him.

Hxhe7vir o47ddm3qn oXc7fupg0 o

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand another turn.

Kg6xqfgv o

Pretty sure she attacked Julia and she dodged. Forgot to screenshoot it.

Bsdg6w7y oJk0eepy4 o

All I know is that I did get her fight with Julia.

Oxiexxhe oIgb5swrs o

Julia won.

I think this is our first critical Draco, too! Look at that massive damage. Julia may be a bit of a scrub, but there are only so many ways to go wrong with 6 times the damage.

Lg0ls5kr oVpjtt9bw o

Plum heals her up as a reward for her draconian efforts, and it's turn over. Look! Holmes and Garo are almost to the edge of the swamp! Fuckin' finally!

Mnb0anrt oYrisllbv o

Awesome work, folks. I am truly impressed and frightened by this display of competence.

Ffnzgwl6 oO55vsxag oUbhxz5id oVe33umfu o

Garo and Holmes both murder Shadow Mages by hitting them critically.

Yhgsog8s o

Sadly, that impressive 82% crit just cannot stay. Garo takes a lot of damage from those Mages. Best be cautious.

2jw3xcci o

...drat! Double drat, and triple drat! Barnacling blisters! This terrain is the worst!

F95turui o

Garo and Holmes are the vanguard in our assault of the non-worst ground. I could've waited for Julia, but I've grown impatient. Can you blame me?

Y1ads6se oYv0fp7mv o

Seriously, though, in what dimension is this considered reasonable? Oh, the future! When will the day when we get to travel through alternate dimensions arrive? I sure hope I don't live to see it, because with my luck, I'll stumble right into one where this sort of crap is morally acceptable!

Of3aojca o4co3k8be o

Thankfully, this is the extent of the enemy's offensive this turn. No, that's not Holmes missing the cultist, or the cultist's helmet firing an arrow towards Holmes. It's TRS arrows being as dumb as ever.

X071d4aj o

Witch #1 attacks Holmes, from within reach of his crossbow bolts, for whatever reason.

O28pxsmk oTvjblm3h o

Gah...! She compensates for her idiotic maneuvering by being more successful than any of her predecessors, as she is able to nail Holmes before dying!

6t65ck8h o

Okay, good. Defense is good. But what you need right now is for the second Witch not to teleport on top of you!

Kys7fese o

Witch #2 is a strategic genius and warps to the opposite corner of the map. Maybe she was hoping to find one of my armors just stuck there? Well, tough luck, sweetheart: I've learned how to bench units, so I was able to spare my slowpokes the horror of this map.

Ojniaqch o

C'mon, Holmes. You've a long way to go before reaching the seize point. I know her healing's a bit lacking, but you'll have to make do. We've no other options. Quite literally!

Axm3edio o

Bullshit, that's just bullshit.

Hxemy0ci oKycdcifx o

Garo and Holmes are great fighters, but without any backup, they have their hands full. Right now it's not looking so good, but as soon as Yoda makes it out of the swamp, it'll be game over for those idiots.

Ljhlhax1 oXygysr04 o

Of course, our heroes decide that this is the right time to take a break from dodging.

Hbddbo9k oYrqnpgos o54wevpvy o

At least we finally got to see Holmes's ordinary crit. It's basically a spin followed by a double sword slap.

Kczsqk4l oVujj8s5i o

Good effort, but your health is running dry... I fear the worst...

A7fokiwk o

At least this turn's first Witch went after Shig--

Vijnsanu o

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMN YOU, SWAMP! SHIGEN! DUCK... Oh, who am I kidding, he's dying right here. It's hopeless, these rolls never come up in my favor...

Wgcpbctp o

OHHHWAHHH...! HE LIVED!? HE LIVED! HE ACTUALLY LIVED!

Vtx3w8xk o

Okay. He's alive. Good. Oh, balderdash... everything I have for a fortify staff! Please...!

Xflb2wji o5icsbeyg o

NYAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAARRRRRGHH! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLMES! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DIE HERE, I'M... I'M... I'M--!

Z6h8crfq o

O-OH GACK! Nyah?! He dodged...!? He did it! The absolute failure of a protagonist actually did something right! The hand of the Goddess has protec! We made it through, against all odds! Oh, I'm so, so very happy...! YES! YES, FUCK YEAH! HOLMES, ALL IS FORGIVEN, MY MAN! ALL IS FUCKING FORGIVEN!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

Yo1rzzwi o

...

...oh, you've got to be kidding me...

Q75bnwxe o

Well, at any rate, earthquake's really inaccurate, and Holmes has good avoid. If he made it out of that scuffle with the Witch, he'll make it out of this one, I'm sure.

Eckipz39 o

...

Aamz5uo9 o

......

Hxuircvl o

...I'm going to have to do all of that again...

1j0vmz8a o

...

...oh, they're just taking the piss now...

On top of being the worst Lord, he also has the worst post-death spiel. Katri and Enteh both have their respective husbandos mourn them, Runan has Eugen utilize his resuscitatory powers, and then there's this. A lame pun. That's all Holmes gets. A lame pun.

Lxh5xydw o

Oh my fucking... even Sasha had better post-death dialogue in chapter 1, when she was a game-over unit for like three turns! Want me to prove it?!

Bkebxjf2 oInp0estf oPvx0lrhj o

There! Generic? Sure! But at least it makes sense! What could possibly prompt Shigen to believe that Holmes is just drunk after a goddamned earthquake killed him?!

N8butx6h o

Anyway.

Wa7rzc3f o

Next time, we do this all over again. Maybe I'll skip parts then. I don't know. Depends on how merciful I am feeling when the time comes.

You know what is not feeling merciful? This game. This game ain't merciful. Grrrr... unnh.

Farewell. Just... farewell.

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones
                        Lee

                        The Roger The Paladin
                        Lionel
                        Letena

*26A only
*Resurrected

Reset count: 3 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1 - Holmes: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, on the bright side, at least Holmes is no longer better than Runan when it comes to causing resets! That's... something nice. I guess... small victories, and all that... Urrrkkk...

 

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I have no doubt that on the bench Raffin and Mather are currently laughing their asses off.

Anyway, Yoda doesn't take any damage in swamps because of all the years he spent on Dagobah. And also because he has the Frontier Fighter skill. Preventing swamp damage is a nice little perk of that skill.

Edited by BrightBow
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2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Except for the part where Julia, despite being awful, kicks Arkis out of the park in every way.

Statistically, yes, as a meme no. Also movement, but hey at least he doesn't have to go to the swamp. 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ci6abust o

E7ffcz4a oBut ever since those fiends of Gerxel invaded the Shrine, it's become a den for monsters.

Oh no pollution! (But seriously how and why did the cult recreate Shrek's home, is he the true identity of their god or something? Are they shitposters?)

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First thing's first. I found this uncanny piece of comics history recently, and thought I'd share it here. I vaguely hinted at it's existence to the Patron Saint of Iron Man LPs, though neglected to speak of the contents. It's taken from a 1998 promotional issue of Blade (as in the vampire hunter, as in the guy Wesley Snipes used to play back in the day)
kEhbufx.jpg

On 7/20/2019 at 8:06 AM, Hawkwing said:
  • Obligatory First/Current Impressions Question?
  • Do you read Awkward Zombie? If so, favorite comic?
  • Do you read any webcomics?
  • Favorite Newspaper comic?
  • Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
  • Trampolines. Like/dislike/don’t care for them?
  • Thoughts on my accidental advertising of Blustone?
  • Do you play any mobile games?
  • Thoughts/Opinions on Indiana Jones?
  • Oldest book you’ve ever read?
  • Oldest movie you’ve ever watched
  • Favorite Fictional Villain?
  • Favorite Pixar Movie?
  • Favorite Disney Movie?
  • Favorite Fire Emblem Meme?
  • Favorite Character in Super Smash Brothers?
  • Favorite video game weapon?
  • Favorite Fictional Invention?
  • Something you’re glad you tried, but will never do again?
  • Something that seems to bother others, but never/rarely you?
  • Something you want to like, but can’t for one reason or another?
  • Something you wish had a sequel?
  • Thoughts/opinions on the Elder Scrolls?
  • Tropes:
  • Favorite/Least Favorite story trope/cliche?
  • Favorite/Least Favorite character trope/cliche?
  • Favorite/Least Favorite gameplay trope/cliche?

Having taken the liberty of crossing out questions I answered (so I can keep track) I'll throw the rest in a spoiler tab... so as not to drag this out on anyone who doesn't want to read the closest thing I'll get to a second interview in a while.
 

Spoiler

*The strangest thing I've ever eaten, while not strange "that's an unusual object", but more in the "why would you do that?" was a Carolina Reaper. Full seeds, unrefridgerated, freshly grown. I was under the false impression it was a lesser type of chilli... as opposed to the world record holder.

*I've actually never payed attention to it. Sorry.

*Never touched mobile games. Which is for the best with my phone's recent battery issues.

*Indiana Jones... well my experience is actually mostly dependent on external media due to my tendency not to watch movies these days/having never seen them when I did. That said, I've briefly mentioned the Steve Ditko drawn stories at Marvel. As with most any Ditko fair, there was something distinct about them that made the read entertaining.

* Well, depending on how literal you mean the oldest book I've read, my answer would be my 1897 edition of Grimm's Fairy Tales... which having originally been printed in 1812 and having stories with origins going back further, probably qualifies by any means. Though a firm competition may be Le Morte D'Arthur given it's 1485 original printing and older origins. All depends whether you consider the compilation or the origin of the tales within more important. Or how literal you take the question.

*The oldest movie I've watched is likely White Zombie from 1932, which holds the position of the first depiction of the Zombie in film. Mind it's more like the actual zombies of voodoo lore as opposed to "flesh eating undead"

*The best villain, in my opinion, is Judge Death from 2000ad. Remember how Judge Claude Frollo saw vice and corruption everywhere? Judge Death came to the logical conclusion only the living commit crimes. After undergoing a ceremony involving two witches (something Frollo would be jealous of I'm sure), he became a nigh-indestructible undead super-fiend bent on the removal of all life on Earth to prevent crime. After his success with the aid of the witches (The Sisters of Death, Nausea & Phobia as well as their later introduced relatives Pustula, Ephemera, and Dementia), and his equally undead deputies (Fear whose presence brought terror and whose face would take the form of one's greatest fear, Fire, who was an eternally burning corpse with a trident and mastery of flame and Mortis whose very touch brings decay), he and the other three Dark Judges took their journey to other timelines to destroy all life. Their goal being to stop all crime the one sure fire way. After all, who can commit a crime if they're dead? This insane logic is what makes the character so damn great. To him, all who live (with the strange exception of an elderly blind/deaf/crippled woman by the name of Mrs. Gunderson) are guilty. The fact he has actually proclaimed a single person innocent, and refuses to harm her only adds to the dark comedy of the character, which is intended.

After all Judge Dredd (who is his nemesis and merely intent on upholding the law) is a feature that lives off being satirical. Death's a counterpoint to Dredd, because he's Dredd taken to an absurdist end to his goal of eliminating crime. Also the strip inspired the "I am the Law" song I parodied but didn't actually change the name of... so there's that. With more than 2130 issues, 2000 AD, (named at the time with a "far-flung future year which is now a symbol of how damn long the book has went despite bets being it wouldn't last a year), the book that introduced and features Dredd is also the highest numbered comic. Full stop. That's not even factoring in the annuals, sci-fi specials, summer special from 1978, the Judge Dredd annuals, the Judge Dredd Mega Specials, the winter specials, the 407 issues of the Judge Dredd Megazine so far, American attempts at Judge Dredd series, 2 Dan Dare annuals that had Judge Dredd stories, crossovers with Batman (including one where Joker became a Dark Judge) and Lobo and more. Being honest, even characters like Superman, Batman and Spiderman have trouble competing with the sheer amount of Judge Dredd stories told. The only shame is the quality hasn't been consistent since the 1990s due to more variation in writers (as opposed to John Wagner writing/co-writing everything) leading to some writers being better than others.

*It's been a long time since I watched one of the Pixar films... so I'm going to be slack and go with Toy Story just on the grounds it's the one I probably remember best.

*Disneywise... I'd say Frollo alone makes The Hunchback of Notre Dame a contender.

*Can I say killing Gharnef with Wrys just because that makes you very glad you took him?

* I'd love to say my favourite character in Smash Bros is King K. Rool. But I'd be lying. I've been a Bowser main since melee... and at this point between the buffs, the familiarity and the fact I've 9.9'd classic mode with everyone... it's become pretty easy for me to end a match fast. But that said, I've recently got into using Ganondorf because I can do this with him. vF1Qfkw.gif

*My favourite video game weapon isn't any surprise to anyone who has read my recent song parody game thread. I started the thread with a song about the Devil Axe. I love that thing. I've only used it ONCE ever (It was either risk losing a unit to it, or lose a unit for sure, the gamble paid off and everyone lived). Besides, if you look up "guys killed by a wall" and "more guys killed by a wall", it's comedy gold.

*My favourite video game invention is the hookshot. I would kill for one of these, but lord knows they will not work in real life.

*I'd be hard pressed to tell you the trope names used on tvtropes due to not using the site... so if I try to answer this question it'll end up a lot more awkward than it should be.

So I've also been thinking about songs, and I think I have a couple more ideas. (Zach's Lament and "It's tough to be a clod") featuring a certain urchin.
I've also had the notion if we ever compile these, seeing as we already had the Sasha Album cover, we could call it "Beyond the Valley of The Murder Princess", parodying this album's name. I just wish there was a song of the name so I could parody it for Sasha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyond_the_Valley_of_the_Murderdolls

Let's try it.
For @Pengaius I present "It's Tough to be a Clod" featuring Arkis and Kreiss in a duet playing off the slacker/serious dynamic the two have. (Kind of counter to the "It's Tough to be a God" song from "The Road to El Dorado it parodies, given it more or less reverses the easygoing one with the more serious one) Later on, I'll try to come up with "Zach's lament"... if I can find content to base it on.

Spoiler

I hardly think I'm qualified,
To be one of Runan's knights.
I just don't cut it with my mastery.

(Arkis what are you talking about?)
We're able men,
The cult of Gerxel is a disease.
We can't let them bring this land to it's knees.

Which means we've got a duty.
A duty? A duty, oh absolutely.
It's tough to be a clod.
Facing deadly odds.
Trying to be a knight,
When really you're a sham.

Be given important missions.
Forced to fight in battle.
Making on the spot decisions.
Even though your nerves are rattled.

And who am I to submit?
I guess I've got to do it.
Even if Eugen says I'm a clod,
And so what if I am?

What's more if I do not try,
To stop the cult
I can see them ending all our lives
and leaving the continent stuffed

See, now you've got it.
So you're a clod?
It's not too late.
Maybe you can change your fate.
Maybe if you try hard enough.

Hard enough? Hard Enough? You sound like Eugen.
Yes it's tough to be a clod.
You can give it your best shot.
Or be benched, count your blessings, at least you're safe.

(You're such a slacker)
Be a relic of times past,
Be an in-joke.
Just don't be at fault.

Live your life free of worry,
Survive to the last,
Outlive the cult.
Forget bad decisions,
That lead to botched rescue missions.
Instead sign me up for a new life.
Yes a new life.

 

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not really. That dude murdered because he wanted to fuck and couldn't. I'm going to be murdering for good ol' experience, nothing more. Well, and in Lorenz's case, because he stole Lorenz's name, and I really like Lorenz.

And, well, there's also the detail that I'll be murdering pixels whereas he murdered a handful of actual people. Gotta keep that in mind, as well.

I just like to get in a potshot at the stupidity/entitlement of the man who described himself as "The Supreme Gentleman" any chance I get. There's something very, very wrong with someone if getting laid is literally the most important motivation to their life in my honest opinion.

4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I've seen people claiming that they cancelled their pre-orders because of this. Are people truly so thirsty for Claude's imaginary cock that him being straight is a dealbreaker for you? That's a bit of an overreaction, I would think.

That does seem a pretty stupid reason to cancel a pre-order. I'd think that if you're buying a game in a series where the waifu simulator aspect is kind of a secondary aspect you'd be less worried. But I guess not. Honestly some of the stuff relating to it has devolved into a bit of a dumpster fire. Mind I think it wasn't helped by that one Gaming Journalist who pretty heavily implied Claude was an option. All up, I may be considered biased because lord knows I didn't even bother with Fates children in most of my playthroughs, but I'd argue it'd down to taste. Some people are attracted to the mechanic, others are just flat repelled by it.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Vxauvlo8 o9lgagtov o

For some reason, Maruj is already in the map when the others walk in. Okay.

He flew in first.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

E7ffcz4a oBe on your guard, Lord Holmes. These swamps are filled not only with fell creatures, but also the servants of Gerxel. Be particularly careful of Witches. With their warping magic, they can ambush you when you least expect it.

0zfd96rn o I don't understand, why are you giving me tutorials on Witches this late into the game? In fact, hilariously enough, Witches can't ambush anyone all that well in this chapter, because they can't traverse swamp tiles.

I don't know. If I got ambushed by a witch on a tile they weren't capable of traversing, that'd be when I least expect it. Maybe it's literally "they CAN ambush you when you least expect it", like if you're waiting on them they're powerless. This would explain the wonky A.I., it's down to which unit forgot they were fighting witches.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

So what's the strategy here? Simple: have Renee alive and in this army. Warp someone strong in and have them kill the boss. Then you warp Holmes to the seize point.

Oh, what's that? You don't got no Renees because Attrom died? Sierra is in the hard route to make it easier? Sent all your fliers there for the same purpose? Awwwww, Kaga feels just sooooooooo sooooooooorry for you! Too bad, now you gotta play this map as intended: a punishment for Kaga's daughter whenever her father catches her playing a modern FE game!

Yeah... I suddenly see why you wanted to warpskip this.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ktxivhaz o

Wait... I know this guy! This is the garbage bag with stained glass on top of it for no reason! He was the boss of the chapter where Attrom and Juliattisnacordst died! He's back?!

I believe this calls for much needed vengeance.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Y1ads6se oYv0fp7mv o

Seriously, though, in what dimension is this considered reasonable? Oh, the future! When will the day when we get to travel through alternate dimensions arrive? I sure hope I don't live to see it, because with my luck, I'll stumble right into one where this sort of crap is morally acceptable!

When you realize that this is the only dimension where this is unacceptable. Sometimes you don't want to explore the multiverse.

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Z6h8crfq o

O-OH GACK! Nyah?! He dodged...!? He did it! The absolute failure of a protagonist actually did something right! The hand of the Goddess has protec! We made it through, against all odds! Oh, I'm so, so very happy...! YES! YES, FUCK YEAH! HOLMES, ALL IS FORGIVEN, MY MAN! ALL IS FUCKING FORGIVEN!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

Ruben cheering on Holmes. I think that we just discovered interdimensional travel.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Aamz5uo9 o

......

Or not. Can't even blame Holmes. This is the map's design.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
1j0vmz8a o

...

...oh, they're just taking the piss now...

Either that or the canon is that Holmes got drunk and had a nightmare while passed out right before a battle. Which is about Holmes.

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Next time, we do this all over again. Maybe I'll skip parts then. I don't know. Depends on how merciful I am feeling when the time comes.

You know what is not feeling merciful? This game. This game ain't merciful. Grrrr... unnh.

Farewell. Just... farewell.

Yep. Kaga's spite concentrated into a single map.

3 hours ago, Pengaius said:

Statistically, yes, as a meme no. Also movement, but hey at least he doesn't have to go to the swamp. 

I'm trying to use him to some degree in my own attempt at the game. It's not going well. I swear to God he's only hit an enemy once in all his battles. To his credit he's done a good job dodging though.

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So, uh, what's preventing Shigen from equipping Dullahan and making this map the joke that it is?

As in, the joke that should've never made it out of Gaiden?

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On 7/23/2019 at 1:12 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Either that or the canon is that Holmes got drunk and had a nightmare while passed out right before a battle. Which is about Holmes.

The entirety of Holmes's route is just a fever dream after he had one too many pints of mead. That explains why everyone thinks he's a hero and why nothing makes sense.

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2 hours ago, Aethin said:

The entirety of Holmes's route is just a fever dream after he had one too many pints of mead. That explains why everyone thinks he's a hero and why nothing makes sense.

Or maybe he's been in a coma since Eugen punched him. It wouldn't explain anything prior. But it sure would explain the Krishna glitch. It's coma fantasy logic. What everyone mistook for an error was an elaborately hidden clue to the truth.
 

17 hours ago, eclipse said:

So, uh, what's preventing Shigen from equipping Dullahan and making this map the joke that it is?

As in, the joke that should've never made it out of Gaiden?

I think Ruben said a while back it was down to 7 uses, and after a quick check I found you can't just Smith's hammer any weapons with a star next to the name to fill the uses back up.  Which, near as I can tell means you need to use one of the Hammerne charges to fix the thing. Thing is unless I've interpreted the weapon level system wrong, the Hammerne requires more mastery than Plum has, which means no one on this route can use the damn thing either. Actually, I think Lee was still just off being able to use the thing too.
tl;dr: RNG is what stopped Shigen soloing maps with Dullahan.

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14 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

I think Ruben said a while back it was down to 7 uses, and after a quick check I found you can't just Smith's hammer any weapons with a star next to the name to fill the uses back up.  Which, near as I can tell means you need to use one of the Hammerne charges to fix the thing. Thing is unless I've interpreted the weapon level system wrong, the Hammerne requires more mastery than Plum has, which means no one on this route can use the damn thing either. Actually, I think Lee was still just off being able to use the thing too.
tl;dr: RNG is what stopped Shigen soloing maps with Dullahan.

Not sure if the trade-equipping thing works here as it does in the GBA FEs and beyond. . .but if it does, get Shigen to low health, then equip Dullahan and have him act as a lightning rod for a few turns!

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53 minutes ago, eclipse said:

Not sure if the trade-equipping thing works here as it does in the GBA FEs and beyond. . .but if it does, get Shigen to low health, then equip Dullahan and have him act as a lightning rod for a few turns!

Might waste a couple uses if he counterattacks anything during enemy phase... but otherwise I can't see it doing much harm. Apart from to Shigen.

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Part 63 - Invincible duo.

Two years ago:

On 7/28/2017 at 12:00 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

23:04 P.M., somewhere in the world. A random nerd's room.

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Man, it's so much fun playing Fire Emblem! I just love it, all of my units have been blessed by the RNG goddess.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19053.png.a27bbf1124b27e1a380856f84daf5413.png

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Look at that avatar. She even started as an archer! No wonder they gave her a 10/10 in that old Rate the Unit thread...

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__24552.png.75f14892f3d7b5d89afabcd865d3868a.png

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png My army is invincible. Even Maris can't get killed. Huh. Maris. What's her new official name? Malice? Malicia? Marlacilis? Who knows, I sure don't.

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19141.png.1bcde1ae0b85b533dc8eeb5aa6fa4297.png

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png Oh man Palla died. I was foolish to place her there. Well, it's just my fourth playthrough.

State.png.3f0d492409efab58e0657a642ee31de5.png

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19602.png.85061a2cad793a695fff7a41104ac3ab.png

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png That's better. Ogma isn't sitting on a flying creature, therefore he survives getting shot in the neck with an arrow.

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png ...this is so boring. Where did I go wrong? I was playing maniac like a boss! My stats weren't so good, Wrys hadn't capped anything yet. And Tiki died so easily, having to reload the turn was so annoying... but even with these huge handicaps, I still can't shake this feeling that this is too easy. How strange... what shall I do?

...

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19794.png.67f67d5c6a909fb4466da02d1f231651.png

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19817.png.f7c45785d8bdebfb0d895e5474b50a76.png

Fire_Emblem_Shin_Monsho_no_Nazo_Hikari_to_Kage_no_Eiyu_en__19837.png.9bcae4131ebb6afe8794d389f4b691d6.png

597a55bec3afd_Barlowe-copia.png.fd455b61e95f9cf2be16ab4ea23657b3.png LET'S PLAY AS KAGA INTENDED US TO! 

Today:

Man, that opening was lame.

Anyhow, yeah! It's been two years already? I cannot believe it myself. Well, technically, it'll have been 2 years tomorrow, but still. It's cause for celebration! Here, have a celebratory update. Y'know, just as Three Houses has come out. Because I am a marketing genius. Is anybody even there? Helloooooooooooooooooooo!? Can anyone hear me!? I'm still here! Read meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!

Three Houses is awesome, by the way. Probably the ugliest game I've played in a long time, and the fact that it still suffers slowdowns despite being capped at 30 FPS is really funny in a really sad way, but I didn't expect a technical marvel, so that's okay. Other than that, the game's really fun. Not too hard, but it's not quite to FE8's level, or even normal mode FE7. Nobody ever doubles, for one.

As for the team, I am glad to say that, despite being a Sain, womanizing isn't quite all that Sylvain has to him. He's honestly pretty likeable, despite his occassional debauchery. At first I was worried about the meager size of the roster, but I ended up liking and using everyone. I've also got my sights set on Ignatz and Leonie, but thus far neither have budged. Also, Hanneman hasn't even given me the option to try to recruit him yet. C'mon, man, I want you on my team more than anyone else!

Sadly, there are some bad news to relay: Felix is very Navare. Picks fights with everyone, trusts nobody but doesn't have the social skills to build an army, is obsessed with fighting... he's completely one-dimensional, and that one dimension happens to be the one I despise the most. I simply cannot stand him. I'm using everyone in the Blue Lions except for him, and as soon as I get more people, he's going straight into the bench.

Anyway, yeah, 3H gets my seal of approval, for now at the very least. There are a few snags, but it's good.

Azcg36pp o
 
There we go. On to the game at hand now.

Nice:

Spoiler
On 7/23/2019 at 1:19 AM, BrightBow said:

I have no doubt that on the bench Raffin and Mather are currently laughing their asses.

As are you! Oh, but rest assured, I am going to prove I can beat this chapter without those flier scrubs. Raffin will lose, Martel will lose, you will lose, and I will win! Mark my words well!

Anyway, Yoda doesn't take any damage in swamps because of all the years he spent on Dagobah.

That does make se-- wait, but didn't he die in Dagobah? If he was so resistant to swamps, then how come one killed him?! Explain that!

And also because he has the Frontier Fighter skill. Preventing swamp damage is a nice little perk of that skill.

In all seriousness, this is good to know. You never go to bed without learning something new, heheh!

 

On 7/23/2019 at 2:48 AM, Pengaius said:

Statistically, yes, as a meme no.

I can't argue with you there. The most Julia's ever done is kill Lentzenheimer. Other than that, she's probably the most unremarkable member of the main cast.

Also movement, but hey at least he doesn't have to go to the swamp. 

He also won't go anywhere else.

Oh no pollution! (But seriously how and why did the cult recreate Shrek's home, is he the true identity of their god or something? Are they shitposters?)

I... have no idea. Probably as a defense mechanism. A swamp's a great natural barrier, as the last update proved.

 

On 7/23/2019 at 6:12 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

First thing's first. I found this uncanny piece of comics history recently, and thought I'd share it here. I vaguely hinted at it's existence to the Patron Saint of Iron Man LPs,

Can I just say I love this moniker? Because I love this moniker.

though neglected to speak of the contents. It's taken from a 1998 promotional issue of Blade (as in the vampire hunter, as in the guy Wesley Snipes used to play back in the day)
kEhbufx.jpg

Okay, this is perfect.

So I've also been thinking about songs, and I think I have a couple more ideas. (Zach's Lament and "It's tough to be a clod") featuring a certain urchin.
I've also had the notion if we ever compile these, seeing as we already had the Sasha Album cover, we could call it "Beyond the Valley of The Murder Princess", parodying this album's name. I just wish there was a song of the name so I could parody it for Sasha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyond_the_Valley_of_the_Murderdolls

This is all too much fun.

Let's try it.
For @Pengaius I present "It's Tough to be a Clod" featuring Arkis and Kreiss in a duet playing off the slacker/serious dynamic the two have. (Kind of counter to the "It's Tough to be a God" song from "The Road to El Dorado it parodies, given it more or less reverses the easygoing one with the more serious one) Later on, I'll try to come up with "Zach's lament"... if I can find content to base it on.

  Reveal hidden contents

I hardly think I'm qualified,
To be one of Runan's knights.
I just don't cut it with my mastery.

(Arkis what are you talking about?)
We're able men,
The cult of Gerxel is a disease.
We can't let them bring this land to it's knees.

Which means we've got a duty.
A duty? A duty, oh absolutely.
It's tough to be a clod.
Facing deadly odds.
Trying to be a knight,
When really you're a sham.

Be given important missions.
Forced to fight in battle.
Making on the spot decisions.
Even though your nerves are rattled.

And who am I to submit?
I guess I've got to do it.
Even if Eugen says I'm a clod,
And so what if I am?

What's more if I do not try,
To stop the cult
I can see them ending all our lives
and leaving the continent stuffed

See, now you've got it.
So you're a clod?
It's not too late.
Maybe you can change your fate.
Maybe if you try hard enough.

Hard enough? Hard Enough? You sound like Eugen.
Yes it's tough to be a clod.
You can give it your best shot.
Or be benched, count your blessings, at least you're safe.

(You're such a slacker)
Be a relic of times past,
Be an in-joke.
Just don't be at fault.

Live your life free of worry,
Survive to the last,
Outlive the cult.
Forget bad decisions,
That lead to botched rescue missions.
Instead sign me up for a new life.
Yes a new life.

This makes Arkis sound almost heroic. I can totally imagine him singing this in his mind as he went to save Lina even though she didn't need to be saved. And then Lentzenheimer happened.

I just like to get in a potshot at the stupidity/entitlement of the man who described himself as "The Supreme Gentleman" any chance I get. There's something very, very wrong with someone if getting laid is literally the most important motivation to their life in my honest opinion.

People are too desperate, man. Too desperate.

That does seem a pretty stupid reason to cancel a pre-order. I'd think that if you're buying a game in a series where the waifu simulator aspect is kind of a secondary aspect you'd be less worried. But I guess not. Honestly some of the stuff relating to it has devolved into a bit of a dumpster fire. Mind I think it wasn't helped by that one Gaming Journalist who pretty heavily implied Claude was an option. All up, I may be considered biased because lord knows I didn't even bother with Fates children in most of my playthroughs, but I'd argue it'd down to taste. Some people are attracted to the mechanic, others are just flat repelled by it.

Wouldn't say "flat repelled by it", but I really don't care about it. Tho, it seems like A supports also change endings in the case of secondary characters? That's good, like I said in an earlier update, I'm fine with doing some pairings for characters that aren't Boringleth's self-inserty self. Just not Hanneman. He seems like the type of guy who's too enamoured with his research to bother fucking real women.

He flew in first.

Hahahahah, took me a moment to get it. Maruj returning to his roots.

I don't know. If I got ambushed by a witch on a tile they weren't capable of traversing, that'd be when I least expect it. Maybe it's literally "they CAN ambush you when you least expect it", like if you're waiting on them they're powerless. This would explain the wonky A.I., it's down to which unit forgot they were fighting witches.

Hmmm... it's as good an explanation as any other, I suppose.

Yeah... I suddenly see why you wanted to warpskip this.

Can you?

I believe this calls for much needed vengeance.

Oh, you have no idea.

When you realize that this is the only dimension where this is unacceptable. Sometimes you don't want to explore the multiverse.

What? Is that true?!

Urk... gaaaah! I must destroy all of the multiverse...

Ruben cheering on Holmes. I think that we just discovered interdimensional travel.

Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, in order to not have to reset this map.

And then I still had to reset this map, because Perishte is terrible.

Or not. Can't even blame Holmes. This is the map's design.

Yeah, this one's not on him. I'm frankly baffled he even lasted so long.

Either that or the canon is that Holmes got drunk and had a nightmare while passed out right before a battle. Which is about Holmes.

Goddammit, Holmes! Why are you getting drunk before a battle?!

Yep. Kaga's spite concentrated into a single map.

Good summary.

I'm trying to use him to some degree in my own attempt at the game. It's not going well. I swear to God he's only hit an enemy once in all his battles. To his credit he's done a good job dodging though.

That's Arkis for ya. He doesn't seem so bad on the surface, but when you really take the time to analyze him, he's just crap.

 

On 7/23/2019 at 10:06 PM, eclipse said:

So, uh, what's preventing Shigen from equipping Dullahan and making this map the joke that it is?

Simple: it only has 8 uses left from when I used it to make Ahab's map a joke. And I can't repair it, so... yeah. Also, he only has 2 move and is stuck in an even worse starting position than Holmes.

As in, the joke that should've never made it out of Gaiden?

Hey, in the bright side, this map isn't full of plain maps.

 

On 7/24/2019 at 12:42 PM, Aethin said:

The entirety of Holmes's route is just a fever dream after he had one too many pints of mead. That explains why everyone thinks he's a hero and why nothing makes sense.

Hwahahahahahahahah... you need to make a patch where this is canon.

 

On 7/24/2019 at 3:25 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Or maybe he's been in a coma since Eugen punched him. It wouldn't explain anything prior. But it sure would explain the Krishna glitch. It's coma fantasy logic. What everyone mistook for an error was an elaborately hidden clue to the truth.
Yeah, let's go with this, just so we can say that Eugen punched Holmes into a coma.

I think Ruben said a while back it was down to 7 uses, and after a quick check I found you can't just Smith's hammer any weapons with a star next to the name to fill the uses back up.  Which, near as I can tell means you need to use one of the Hammerne charges to fix the thing. Thing is unless I've interpreted the weapon level system wrong, the Hammerne requires more mastery than Plum has, which means no one on this route can use the damn thing either. Actually, I think Lee was still just off being able to use the thing too.
tl;dr: RNG is what stopped Shigen soloing maps with Dullahan.

Not exactly. Lee can already use Hammerne, but I wasn't about to send him to Holmes. Runan, unlike Holmes, will need those full heals of his. Plum just wouldn't cut it.

 

Very nice:

Spoiler

Last time, Holmes died and I was sad, but then it turned out he was just drunk and I was sadder. This time, I will cheese this shitty chapter because it does not deserve to be beaten honorably. Our resident moderator suggested using Shigen with the Dullahan to crap all over the map, but even if that was an option, I don't think I'd take it. Shigen's a slowpoke in this map. I've thought up a strategy that I think you'll enjoy.

Lwiwf6wa oG4xwtibz o

First off, I shall equip Holmes and Garo with every healing and protective item I have. Plum's healing won't be enough.

Rjh3yvkt o

Here's the plan: I've moved Plum to Yoda's spot so that she may use Enarmor on Holmes.

Qe3uoghq o

If you recall, Enarmor halves all damage the target receives for a whole chapter. This will keep Holmes from dying horribly like in that fever dream of his. Garo will be holding fast to the Dolharken, which grants the same protection to its wielder. Between that and the healing, I'm fairly certain we'll live.

Dtriuh2q o

Magic! Magic is everything! ...she needs!

Zw0itv54 oMmkogkqx o

Time to trudge through the swamp for 10 turns. Again. Urrrgghh...

7ok6v33m oApoj0ei2 o

This happens, as usual.

Mp4tzjlg oEkgzzznd o

This, too.

Zw34rgre o

Figures the levels would be whack this time around.

Xa89oqms oKtyyv4he o

Really?

Bgccyecn o

Scary.

Hcbg3eij o

Scarier.

Lpvq8e9u oQba1wtxn o

Oh, please...

Xf4bcrs3 o

Let's play a little game: see if you can guess which units were in the range of this blast. Here, I'll give you a couple secs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you guessed Shigen, Yoda, Rishel and friggin' Raquel who isn't even inside the fireball, you'd be right! You win a nothing.

D1suyux5 oB3ukasqj o

Anyhow, Garo patches himself up.

Dfyrtlat o

Holmes is playing catch-up with Garo. Garo might have to stop for a turn to wait for him. I really don't want either of them to go up against everyone alone.

4nqgla43 o9ofb5ic1 o

Krishna does this.

Ameuq3tb oVeweqica oI9gx0g9n o

I have Raquel soften up a Dracozombie just so Rishel can blast it away with the Sunflame anyway. Talk about wasteful.

Uqwywojz oE3e39kxm o

As if to punish her for her wasteful ways, the newest Sonnenblume goes after Raquel.

Kziuohnj o

For all the good it did her. Ooohhh, shiny frame!

S138z1we o

TRSMageLevel.png

Yfq5sf6e o

Shigen gets healed up, just for the experience.

3oje7sam oH0k0ijsw o

Krishna gets ambushed. It won't be long before she gets her revenge, though. Or someone avenges her, I don't know.

Vl5khwa0 oAgy0hdu6 o

But first, Garo gets attacked, as usual.

Uqvuwyqh oSeo3wmel oLq7b88cr o

Killing ensues.

Qkgo9xsr oJe2g2mf5 o

It's turn five. Guess what happens now!

Qtgvkiob o4oym4ovf oYmio6ov7 o

Please nobody get hit, please nobody get hit, please nobody get hit

Nj8rnqmm o

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLUM! I CAN'T HEAL HER, I CAN'T HEAL HER! ABORT, ABORT, ABORT!!

Vrbzpiq1 oRxjrm7cd o65wjd1xr o

Of course, the frontliners also got hit.

Va0zl75f o

Oh, fuck... we're on a tight time limit now. Plum dies in turn 10 by mean of shaky ground. That is, unless a Witch warps on top of her, of course. She's boned if that happens. Also, I'm not quite sure if the swamp can kill units by itself.

Oh, so many things that could go wrong... this is terrible.

Fxtkq1h3 oYu2anrgk oIlsts1pb o
 
Pectehmf o
 
5e5lg4j2 o

If Plum dies, I'm resetting. Just a fair warning. If Kaga wants to play dirty, well, two can play that game.

Dqzqa5pb oBjarkdh3 o

Ffffffffffffuuuaaaaaack...! She almost got janked inmediately! Thank goodness for Maruj and Rishel!

Smp5vmeo oOacmqjfi o

Thankfully, the Witch went after someone she couldn't quite measure up to. Also, Julia does a thing.

Itqblc5f oCqhva4oh o

And now, dead Harpy.

Wwjmfgf9 oE2gvxhz3 oUkzt95k4 o

It has begun, everyone. Garo and Holmes need to kick literally everyone's asses, and fast.

V7avbskk oXdj53kev oFs4ojydw o

First, though, Maruj does his one contribution to the map.

Qfjzfwhp o5trzlzxi oIfbp910v o

Garo and Holmes can both die here, if they're critted by death too much. Thankfully, it doesn't happen.

P0sjvmeb oWhdiuqpm o

Funnily enough, since they've ran out of spots to attack Garo from a range, now they're forced to attack him within range of his axe.

Qj4qhmdp o

Good level for what's to come.

Q5c7vs0x o9rb07sfq o3pmtxdpl o

That being all the spearmen. All of them.

Y1ciiibr oVmr7fvwp oDmx9ypii o

He silenced one of them. All in all, he came out unscathed.

Lfygiy20 oZeunf3on o

The latest Witch warped next to Krishna. Really, anything that's not Plum is fine by me.

Speaking of... time to see if she will wither away at the swamp. Nngh...! Brace for impact, guys!

Wdmrsavh o

...pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew... oh, thank goodness, she's alive.

In that case, this is the deal: We've exactly two turns to kill Perishte. Garo and Holmes are at the entrance. If we can kill him and block the spawning Witches, Plum will be safe. We'll just have to cross our fingers that she doesn't die before then...

8tb6unvu oFarltzm7 o

First, let's eliminate some chance of Plum dying.

5i1qjrjl o

Why? Why can these scrubs only get good levels in non-canon runs?

Ygrjjcg6 o

...oh, you cannot live any longer. You just can't.

An26apoa o

Down with you!

6a9xy81e o2jwx3ijk o

Magic! More ma-- she's gonna DIE, I CAN SEE IT! GOOD LEVELS MEANS BAD DEATHS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHH!!

T7evbqxu oQqgxnz1a oMjblmdhj o

Garo gets one more HP, and that's it. That'll be the last Witch, with any luck. Oh, please, please don't kill Plum... I'm begging you!

Ipopwrat oRmvkggij o

He dodged that?! Could it be that my luck is turning around?

Pgzibmcx oHfnoaimv o

...no. Of course not.

Qqdnye6q o2kj66l4n o

He dodged that one hit, and apparently that was enough for him to deem it unnecessary to dodge anything else. He's even getting shanked by the spears. Garo...

Hu2qwt50 o

Okay, thanks.

Jcdheuwx o

Oh!

0txbk22k o

YES! YES, SHE'S DUMB! PLUM IS SAFE! FUCK YEAH, THIS IS IT! WE HAVE WON! We have won.

G7m2ezrd o

Fuck you we still won.

1rsdftfv oAz5dts0l oOfxrdm98 o

So Witches prioritize going after enemies who are close rather than warping away... that's interesting. Means I've all but neutralized the Witches already, so I can focus on Perishte.

Libzqq1c o

Better hurry, because next turn's it!

Here's the problem, though. Garo is so wounded, I have no choice but to have him use the elixir to heal himself. With those two assholes forming a tight barrier, I cannot get to Perishte this turn. Nngh...

U6fjiu3v oDoqmrxty o

Well, first things first, you die.

O9pmrctk oDxdsisco o

I'll place Garo here. If they continue to go mainly after him, that position should be good enough to clear a path for Holmes.

Hqb5ezvq o2yfv1cn9 oNfgyf3f6 o

Oh, Jesus... what is this? Ultra Instincts Garo!? How's he dodging all of this? Is he truly that determined to save the playthrough...? He's a true hero!

D1wsmyxs oXdw4flre oQtwoyk97 o

Yes! Perfect! Neither of them got hurt badly! I was really, really worried, but thanks to their efforts, now either one of them can safely open a path for the other. Which will lead to winning.

Rwlfn9oj oTrxtsbik o

Just in time, too, because Perishte will unleash the earthquake this turn. We've won, guys! Did you know that?

Npqbyioi o

Who cares? We won!

Ohaongl2 o

...oh, fiddlesticks. He can't kill Perishte with the Dolharken. And I can't trade him back to it after the fight.

...

Djyixnxo o

You know what? He's got a miracle charm. I'm fairly confident in his chances. Ah...

...he's not going to make it, is he? Oh, fuck, I'm going to sacrifice my best unit to get through this infernal chapter...

Jojjld9o o3wibgkil o

Oh, he has another line. It's almost as generic as the other one.

Apwbckwv oIatucovm o

If I'd known he'd do that, I wouldn't have unequipped the Dolharken.

A2kb4xsa o

He can't even finish his death quote. What a lame boss. Go die, please.

8nsh8q0r o

Luck? Luck is fine, you are going to need it.

Wzkt2r8g o

Oh, fuck... remember that the protection is gone. If he gets hit, half his health bar goes bye-bye. It's the time of truth, everyone!

5k3mzvmu oVdya8uzk o

G-Gulp...

Exibnhux oNe1oyyy0 o

HHHHOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! YES! GARO! You're the best. The best of the very best, blistering damnations!

Iehcegos o52tashot o

Don't die on me now, guys...! We're so close! So very close...!

Ld6hueeg oMjese3t8 oWxweb1ov o

Oh God.

Ogedf3tf oQgqhwmmx o

Yes! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DID IT! I BEAT THE CHAPTER, WITHOUT WARP, WITHOUT FLIERS, WITHOUT DULLAHAN, WITH A BOTTOM-TIER UNIT! HAH! WHO'S THE MAN!? FUCK YOUR TIER LISTS, GARO IS THE BEST UNIT IN TRS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I8j2ffa8 o41vj9ehy o

I am so happy.

1bxjweps o

Gmhhyxnn oI warned you about the Cult's regulars. Like I said, they're no pushovers.

04edcfbn oThose witches are the worst of them all... It's practically suicide tactics! Aren't they afraid of death?

Gmhhyxnn oOf course they aren't. They've been groomed for their purpose for years by the high priests.

Frghohog o

Gmhhyxnn oYou can't think of these Cultists like soldiers doing their duty, Holmes. Aside from the clergy, most all of the Cult's members(sic) are like these girls, slaves to the will of the Pontiff.

P1zzgcas o Out-of-nowhere lore explanation for why Witches are so dumb? Heh, TRS surprises me once more!

04edcfbn oShigen, you're freaking me out. I understand what you're saying, but I won't let sympathy for my enemies stand in the way of what I came here to do.

04edcfbn oReevans, the Zoans, the Cult... None of that matters now.

Feyz05xy o

0zfd96rn o Why does Holmes sound like more of a villain than most of the major villains?

Gmhhyxnn oHey, I'm not trying to dissuade you. I completely agree. These guys need to be stopped.

04edcfbn oThen why are you distracting me?! Just do your job, Shigen!

0zfd96rn o And why are you freaking out? Is there any need for this?

Zqqminee o

0zfd96rn o Thank you! At least someone has a head on her shoulders.

Okay. Next time, one more Holmes chapter before we return to Runan. I can't wait, that's another runner-up for the best chapter in the game! Runan's first, not Holmes's last. Holmes's last is another generic snoozefest. I'll see you then and there, as always! Adios!

...

...oh my fucking God you guys have no idea how happy I am right now. I could climb up my desk and dance on it. In fact, I think I'll do that. Woohoo! What a battle! What a strategy! I'm... fuck me, I'm great, after all. Yeah...

Death count: Attrom
                        Juliattisnacordst
                        Sharon
                        Krishna
                        Indiana Jones
                        Lee

                        The Roger The Paladin
                        Lionel
                        Letena

*26A only
*Resurrected

Reset count: 3 (Runan: 1 - Katri: 1 - Holmes: 1)

Dullahan's done with my incompetence: 7

 

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19 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Anyhow, yeah! It's been two years already? I cannot believe it myself. Well, technically, it'll have been 2 years tomorrow, but still. It's cause for celebration! Here, have a celebratory update. Y'know, just as Three Houses has come out. Because I am a marketing genius. Is anybody even there? Helloooooooooooooooooooo!? Can anyone hear me!? I'm still here! Read meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!

Yep. I was between maps anyway, so I'll take this while I plan my next month.

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not too hard, but it's not quite to FE8's level, or even normal mode FE7. Nobody ever doubles, for one.

Except for enemy myrmidons.

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sadly, there are some bad news to relay: Felix is very Navare. Picks fights with everyone, trusts nobody but doesn't have the social skills to build an army, is obsessed with fighting... he's completely one-dimensional, and that one dimension happens to be the one I despise the most. I simply cannot stand him. I'm using everyone in the Blue Lions except for him, and as soon as I get more people, he's going straight into the bench.

I gather you didn't see his C support with Annette. It made him feel like a normal human.

27 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This makes Arkis sound almost heroic. I can totally imagine him singing this in his mind as he went to save Lina even though she didn't need to be saved. And then Lentzenheimer happened.

Yeah well, half the lyrics are Arkis. Well more than half. So... let's just say there's liberties taken with reality. Though I do like to believe he's well meaning. Just not the brightest.

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What? Is that true?!

Urk... gaaaah! I must destroy all of the multiverse...

Well, yes and no. While it's true under multiverse theory there would be infinite number of worlds where this were fine, there'd also be infinite number of worlds where this were punishable by death. Silly the notion that every single instance of probability/decision making can result in a different time line... leading to untold combinations. That said... people tend to take it a bit further in fiction than could realistically occur.

 

37 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Hcbg3eij o

Scarier.

Lot.exe has a successor.

 

43 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

So Witches prioritize going after enemies who are close rather than warping away... that's interesting. Means I've all but neutralized the Witches already, so I can focus on Perishte.

Well... you did say they have bad A.I.

 

44 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Hqb5ezvq o2yfv1cn9 oNfgyf3f6 o

Oh, Jesus... what is this? Ultra Instincts Garo!? How's he dodging all of this? Is he truly that determined to save the playthrough...? He's a true hero!

The second time a Jeigan was the hero your LP needed. Who said they were bad?

 

46 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
8nsh8q0r o

Luck? Luck is fine, you are going to need it.

It's not like there's much else for him to get at this stage anyway. He's rammed the caps for strength, skill, speed and mastery. He can't grow magic. If he got defense this would be a perfect level.

 

51 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Qgqhwmmx o

Yes! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DID IT! I BEAT THE CHAPTER, WITHOUT WARP, WITHOUT FLIERS, WITHOUT DULLAHAN, WITH A BOTTOM-TIER UNIT! HAH! WHO'S THE MAN!? FUCK YOUR TIER LISTS, GARO IS THE BEST UNIT IN TRS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

More like Tierring Saga.

 

55 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Gmhhyxnn oOf course they aren't. They've been groomed for their purpose for years by the high priests.

Frghohog o

Gmhhyxnn oYou can't think of these Cultists like soldiers doing their duty, Holmes. Aside from the clergy, most all of the Cult's members(sic) are like these girls, slaves to the will of the Pontiff.

P1zzgcas o Out-of-nowhere lore explanation for why Witches are so dumb? Heh, TRS surprises me once more!

It'd be a hell of a plot twist if the Church in Three Houses turned out to be full Cult of Gerxel beneath the surface.

 

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

04edcfbn oShigen, you're freaking me out. I understand what you're saying, but I won't let sympathy for my enemies stand in the way of what I came here to do.

04edcfbn oReevans, the Zoans, the Cult... None of that matters now.

How the hell did Holmes hear that explanation as "these are poor innocent people that you shouldn't kill", as opposed to "they've been indoctrinated so thoroughly they have no will of their own"

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

0zfd96rn o Thank you! At least someone has a head on her shoulders.

Well, you did use that gag on Arkis and it is a once per LP thing.

You know what? I feel like parodying something... and seeing as I'm stuck on Zach's lament due to (ironically, given his irrelevance is the theme of the song), a lack of source material....

Blame Granada (to Blame Canada from the South Park movie)
 

Spoiler

Things have changed. It's ruining the game.
Holmes is screwing up the plot and his route is all the same.
Should we blame Kaga?
Or blame the LP?
Or should we blame the translation team?

NO.
Blame Granada.
Blame Granada

They say parents can eat shit.
They deserve Eugen's hit.

Blame Granada.
Blame Granada.

I don't care about this route,
The lord is a lout.

Don't credit Holmes, for helping Katri's parents.
He wasn't even involved. That plot just don't make sense.
And remaining bow locked out of spite?
My god this guy isn't very bright.

Blame Granada.
Blame Granada.

It seems all logic has departed,
Since Holmes' route has started.

Blame Granada.
Blame Granada.

(They're not even a real country anyway.)

Plum's brother could have been a fighter renowned far and wide.
But instead he joined up with Holmes and in battle died.
Should we blame the axes?
Should we blame the pirates?
Or the RNG that caused him to expire?

HECK NO.
Blame Granada.
Blame Granada.

With all the plot-holes everywhere,
This route making sense is rare.

Blame Granada.
Shame on Granada.

For all the crap we must hack,
All the crud we must chug.
The stupid one must be undone,
We must blame him now and then,
Lest this idiocy happen once again.


 

 

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