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Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth


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SOUTH GUARD 5 - CRIME ROUTE

Spoiler

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We've come... quite a fuckin way, hey.

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Hylas! Buddy, you do still have lines!

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Gerrick's sheer amount of Did Not Sign Up For This is great.

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Deoran ain't seen the problem yet that can't be fixed with Spear.

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She's true to her word; we can, in fact, sign up fighters and shamans.

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Early reports reveal... uh, a whole lot of nothing.

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Jarek eventually reveals a threat! Well, zombies, anyway. Also, upon reflection, I should've abandoned the northern keep a couple turns earlier and just recruited down here in the south, but there's no use crying.

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A more in-depth look at zombies, then. Wesnoth zombies are fucking dope. Sure, those stats are... seriously not much to look at, though they pack a fair punch at night especially, and impact damage is always nice to have. The real key here is that every zombie kill creates another zombie... of the type of unit killed.

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Each one of those variations has a sprite and unique art. They also have subtly different stats to reflect the base type - zombie gryphons fly, zombie mermen swim.

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Uh, okay, that's. Not the expected answer.

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Whew. Tough crowd, hey, Afalas?

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Afalas' portrait is great. This is one hard-luck motherfucker. Deoran gives him the predictable ultimatum.

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Oh? Sounds like your great sage might've been more of a great bitch. Also he was gone for a year and none of you cunts... noticed...

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I like to imagine Afalas is like, sheepishly putting his fingertips together and looking shyly up from the ground.

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Eyes fuckin' emoji.

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The human advisors waste no time reminding Deoran that elves are massive losers.

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Deoran, well. He sticks to the facts here.

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"We have so many clubs!"

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Well, technically, the term's chaotic. As chaotic as the undead.

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So here's the choice in the fog. And it is no choice at all.

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Afalas rips off his bandana and, uh, idk if you should call your own dudes thugs.

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Ethiliel yeets out, as do any elves we've recruited.

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And so it comes to this. Afalas and the gang are gonna help us wheel south and smash some cunts in the face.

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The shroud gets lifted, though the fog doesn't, and the target opens up - this scenic little castle.

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A spare footpad - Afalas' aren't homies, I'm afraid, I assume it's just the guys he summons on turn 1 - spots a foe.

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Skeleton swordsmen.

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In the south... teamwork!

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Zombies explode and melt when they die. They do a lot of dying on the inexorable march south.

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So, very nearly, does Gerrick! Thanks to my failure to finish a couple off, and underestimating soulless damage generally. That was very nearly our first reload of the campaign!

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At night, they're a threat. In the morning, they're XP pinatas.

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In the northeast, meanwhile, we catch some undead trying to cap villages. If only Afalas could recruit guys from his keep... but, alas, Deoran is our one and only leader this campaign. Deathblades exist if you really, really, really want one more attack and movement on your skeleton, and are prepared to sacrifice everything else.

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That said, he's a very real and present threat. One, I can isolate, but for his buddies... I need that fort, and I need to fucking spew thugs from it.

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wh
wh

what??

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Gerrick scythes down the soulless leader, who is for some reason called Gruth.

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Four guys with clubs, and not a fucking moment too soon.

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heyyyy how about let's not make that trade, ever.

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So yeah, this guy holds up our entire advance. For now. Hilariously, he goes on to miss all five 50%s against Ufes.

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He then windmills into but can't finish off this footpad. And now the thugs are in range... just in time for... day... phase...

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It doesn't matter! Fuck you! Who's the human wave now, bitch?!?
This guy, Taser Blackjack, is immediately killed on Enemy Phase. And you know what? It doesn't fucking matter!

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More blood! Blood makes the grass grow!

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What's a lich to a thug?

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Significantly more powerful! Liches lose the Dark Sorcerer's ability to create zombies with a plague-stick and instead gain, well, being undead, along with a powerful 8x3 drain-touch, a devastating 12x3 cold spell and the added versatility of a 9x3 shadow wave. This unfortunately means that some level of thug tempo will be lost as he leeches health back on the counterattack.

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The lich, cleverly called ?, recruits a bangle of archers. They have no chance against the thug and the terrors of 5x4 impact damage.

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Crime makes out-attritioning the undead possible.

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Steadily, the red line pushes into the purple. There's not a lot of tactics here, just ramming bodies forward. And also trying to make it so that--

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Yes. Here we go, lads - our first tier 3 from scratch, and it's a beauty.

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Huge damage boost. Huge HP. And, a lovely bonus, 6 movement. Royal Guards are beautiful in their sheer simplicity.

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Push. Forward.

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Uh, no, I wasn't talking to you, ?, I was--

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Oh hell fucking yes.
The reward for my carelessness, like with Moreth, is that Hylas CUDGELLED A FUCKING GHOUL TO DEATH and promoted.

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When a white mage glows up, it's fucking literal. Magi of Light are proper warrior-priests. They still heal, they still do significant damage, they can suddenly fight in melee. Best of all, people around them - friend and foe - fight like it's one stage of day lighter. And that's a lovely bonus, as it happens, for when you're fighting liches... oh, of course, Hylas could simply waste it himself, but that's a lot of XP down the drain. This is a controlled environment here. Let's pinata this bitch.

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Left, right, goodnight.

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So that's a bitch and a half.

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Yeah, so. Afalas knew all along the elves were needed to quash Mebrin for good.

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Afalas is actually, fuck it, I'm gonna say it about Wesnoth - A Good Character. He's here for redemption, but this is still a hard-as-nails career criminal we're talking about. He's gonna wriggle out of getting murdered by elves with some Tactical Withholding Of Information, and hell, while we're relying on him to get out of these woods, why not push it for everything it's worth?

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Deoran's so mad. It's great.

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But here's the thing - if the undead win, everyone else loses. AND they screwed over Afalas and his mates. So instead of relying on prissy elven conceits like 'winning' the 'war', we're gonna handle this the only way we know how; frontier motherfucking justice.

 

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Eh, gotta be easier to kill the lich that way. Cave levels function the same way as if it were always night. As if trying to tear through skeletons with arrows and spears wasn't enough of a disadvantage.

On the plus side, you do get to use trolls in that level. And they got some REALLY big sticks.

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3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Deoran ain't seen the problem yet that can't be fixed with Spear.

And if he does, hey that mace is there.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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So here's the choice in the fog. And it is no choice at all.

Well, at least I get to see the differences, considering I did the campaign.

And picked the elves as I had been using so many elvish units. Some regrets were had when I entered the caves.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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heyyyy how about let's not make that trade, ever.

That looks like a lot of pain.

Least he couldn't die from it.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Afalas is actually, fuck it, I'm gonna say it about Wesnoth - A Good Character. He's here for redemption, but this is still a hard-as-nails career criminal we're talking about. He's gonna wriggle out of getting murdered by elves with some Tactical Withholding Of Information, and hell, while we're relying on him to get out of these woods, why not push it for everything it's worth?

It's what he's used to then?

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Deoran's so mad. It's great.

I still feel like it's missing a You Little Shit in there.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

But here's the thing - if the undead win, everyone else loses. AND they screwed over Afalas and his mates. So instead of relying on prissy elven conceits like 'winning' the 'war', we're gonna handle this the only way we know how; frontier motherfucking justice.

Sometimes, Elvish smugness has to be dealt with. Then again, if Mebrin wasn't so smug this situation wouldn't have happened.

Also, this means you don't get the stage with Gerrick having to push constantly to get to the north. That wasn't a fun map.

I looked at my version. I thought I was on 1.14.6, but it's 1.14.5 and the maps keep looking different!

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THE SOUTH GUARD 6

Spoiler

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Deoran continues to not take any of this well.

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So. We have a path, and an immediate need to get the fuck out of dodge. Let's set about it. All we have to do is go the fuck north.

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For our recruitment, we settle on a mix of units. Moreth, Swag and a longbowman, Chadwick Webster, are part of our initial crew; I recall three thugs, one close to levelling, the other two quick/intelligent in order to traverse the woods easily, the footpad Indiana Fenton, Ufes, the other longbowman Spike Jackhammer, and our three Dragoons; 'Royal Flush' Curtin, Snug Wilhelm and H. A. M. Stephens. Plenty of impact damage, a nice blend of law and chaos, and all of our promoted units except for Myssh.

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Trouble arises - for all this elf talks about stupidity, Hylas and Webster combine to destroy him and the advance moves on.

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Sticking to the path is boring. I demand blood, and I have the ability to make it rain. Gerrick tries to talk the elves down, but they're not having it.

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Works for me.

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While Fenton lives for us, their fighter even more implausibly dodges seven 50%s. It happens, but it's kind of a bitch. In fact, our trades here suck a little. But on their turn, they go for bow-shots rather than forcing a plausible kill on Wilhelm the dragoon, and we finish them off without too much strife, lining up a couple of tasty promotions in the process.

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The way the 'path' works is pretty neat. There's a secret path throughout this random forest, and at the start of every turn, as much of it as Urza Afalas can see becomes road instead of forest.

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Sake.

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The archer is cut down easily by Swag and a thug - I only move Hylas in after, because, yes, the light aura will hinder your own chaotic troops - before a footpad stumbles on a hero and The Blues Jackson becomes our first bandit.

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The fighter comes one shot away from killing Jarek after I'm careless with his positioning. The hero fails to kill the footpad, and a ranger comes out of nowhere to, uh, land some shots against Gerrick that had no chance of killing him and every chance of promoting him.

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You beauty.

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We clear out all the threats, with a bonus! Deoran blows the chance to make tier 3, but Chadwick Webster does not.

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Yeah, you sniff that arrow! Master bowmen are fucking rock-solid. 11x4 ranged attack? Chunky. 8x3 melee? Respectable! And 67 is a lot of goddamn health.

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Our first brush with upgraded bats, as blue starts to catch up with us.

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In the north, an archer decides, fuck it, this is how he's gonna spend his life.

The easiest way to tell male and female archers apart is that the men have grey pants, the women green.

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Cruelly, Indiana Fenton - survivor of so much more statistical probability - takes two 30%s to the face, and becomes our first casualty.

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Deoran reaches tier 3! This is basically what knights used to look like, plus the world's shittest pennant thrown on.

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A bat eats a thug, but the other goes down to Garrick. The undead are hot on our tails.

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The final thug, Maxim Spuddock, promotes. We clear out this knot of three bats - well, there's a third out of frame - for the XP, and before you know it...

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... that's a wrap. We only have to get Deoran through, remember?

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And Afalas continues to be strung on in the hopes of maybe not being strung up.

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A perhaps less convincing clear than some of the others, but then again, only one casualty? Results don't lie, and pretty much all hands were on deck at one stage or another. That map was punchy, urgent, and really did force you to move without letting you feel like heads were going un-kicked. All three brigand-path maps are great; meanwhile, at least one of the elf-path maps involves a cave. There's a clear winner, here.

 

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12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

The easiest way to tell male and female archers apart is that the men have grey pants, the women green.

the two only genders

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what's up gamers

Spoiler

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Quote

Two days' travel later, the forward scouts reported another orcish warband laying siege to a tower.

Erlornas surveyed the siege from atop a small tree-covered hill overlooking the tower valley...

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[tn: i'm really mad that the only fucking unit i have with an accent in his name has become my Talk Guy because i need to keep the name on my clipboard because none of my keyboards have the accent and i don't have the numpad code memorized fuck]

André Gomes: A warband of orcs, no women or children among them, besieges a tower. It's of human design... but we are far from the lands granted to humans by treaty, my lord Erlornas.

Side note: the elves are a Native American analogue, being slowly wiped out by the European humans through treaties and wars and encroachment. I don't actually know if there's support for this, but it just occurred to me.

Quote

Erlornas: Under the letter of the treaty, it is so. But this country is too cold and barren for us. I wonder, what manner of human would choose to live here, far from its kind? Hmm....

waves in sámi

Quote

André Gomes: It trespasses, and should be driven out!

Erlornas: Hold. It is only one human, or a few of them at most. Time enough to speak of driving it out when we have no enemies in common.

Tell me: I see no bridge over the chasm around that keep. Is there any sign that one has been withdrawn by the defenders?

André Gomes: No, lord. No traces of any construction. It looks like no bridge has ever existed there. There must be other, hidden means of access to the tower.

Erlornas: Interesting... Go to my personal stores and bring me a bottle of wine. And a couple of glasses.

André Gomes: ... Glasses?

Erlornas: Do it. We'll have a guest soon.

Erlornas closed his eyes and brought his hands forward, joined palms forming a cup open to the sky. Soon they began to glow, then to flare like a brazier with the fire of Faerie, casting a cold, blue light all around the elf-lord. A wisp of light emerged from the eerie flames, and at a few murmured words from the elf-lord flew away towards the tower below. Then the light around Erlornas faded and all was seemingly as before.

Some time later...

I really, honestly, hated transcribing this. This isn't peak elf wank. We're not there yet. It's just... too many words, about how Cool Erloranas Is. Note how Faerie has never been used as a proper noun before.

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gasp

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Erlornas: I wish their foul kind driven as far as possible from my borders, not to return. It would be no bad thing if an ally of the elves kept watch over this country.

Linaera: Count me as an ally, then, lord Erlornas. We can defeat them together.

André Gomes: My lord... humans cannot be trusted! They shift their allegiances with the changing of the wind!

Erlornas: That may be, but I do not think this one will betray us to the orcs. And we may need her assurance, too; that is a powerful force of orcs ahead.

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I'm gonna screed briefly. André's shit is a super common elf trope, that wow these longform lifeforms think we're too hasty about shit. It's always played as check out these elves, they live for 10,000 years, human timelines are meaningless to them obviously! What that doesn't ever consider is that whatever your longterm lifespan, shit happens in real time. This is extremely relevant for, say, personal emotions, where some human turns on some other human because they did a minimal offense that should just be talked out over the course of a few short weeks and not end in violence, lmao humans. What this isn't relevant at all for is when people use it as Elves Laughing At Humans For ..... reacting to changing information. Or literally just lying for gain, which elves also do in Wesnoth. It might be that it's deliberately constructed as a culture of false superiority, but I don't have that much faith in the guy who wrote elves in Wesnoth.

Whatever.

Anyway, the final line is relevant. Linaera can recruit different units from Erlornas when on a keep - this is something we'll see again in Heir to the Throne, next campaign.

 

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Linaera can recruit mages.

 

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Linaera herself is a Silver Mage, which is one of the tier 3s. They're reasonably strong mages with a massive ability: Teleport. Teleport allows the Silver Mage to spend one movement point to move between any pair of owned villages. So a Silver Mage can spend 3 movement walking back to a village, spend 1 movement to teleport to literally any other owned village, and then have 2 more movement to spend. Silver mages are a bit niche, but obscenely good on the right maps.

 

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Oddly, this map kind of sucks for her. Poor design, Incursion! In any case, we'll aim to tackle them in this tiny spot of forest to the north, while sending an expeditionary force to the west to get a few villages and maybe engage on the favorable forts. Not sure how the AI will perform here.

 

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Good news: I was basically able to get to the treeline on turn 2. Meanwhile, you'll notice an unfamiliar sprite to the left of the enemy lord.

 

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Goblin knights are bigger goblin wolfriders. The promotions branch to one support and one Just Fuckin Kill route, and this is the latter. They have bigger numbers.

 

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They're also really fast, and I'm an idiot about range checking.

 

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OP lives, but that doesn't mean my defensive line is anything like holding where I want. I blew the western whistle too fast.

 

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We're securing a new, less good line. But it still works.

 

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It goes surprisingly well, overall. Everyone who can be attacked is on defensive-

 

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yeet

 

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It doesn't stop us from sweeping hard.

 

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Hey, notice the new sword on the right?

 

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Oh yeah. This is arguably the best dual-phase unit in the whole game. Proper elf wank, and the art does not at all match the sprite, but Avengers fucking rule. They're relatively durable, have great ranged backed by strong melee, and hide in the trees. Fucking love Avengers.

 

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Anyway, Theo Walcott dies for my hubris. F.

 

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Anyway we surround the boss and -

whoops

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fuck there was a crossbow right there

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rewind

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Anyway, we kill the crossbow for the sick XP and then surround the boss!

 

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Quote

Linaera: I do indeed. Something evil has recently made a nest in the next valley over; its servants have been sniffing at the edges of my domain. I had meant to deal with it by myself, but if you elves revere the green earth I think you will want it abolished as much as I.

Erlornas: We are of one mind, then. Let us go to it.

Nobody has ever talked like this.

 

Edited by Integrity
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I took a look in the map files to see if the game gives some advice with how to handle this when playing on Easy mode, since it's a tutorial campaign of sorts. And there is indeed some advice.

"Use Elven Scouts and Linaera’s power of teleportation to mount hit-and-run attacks."

Not sure if that is really a good strategy for this one. Or how this is supposed to even look like. You can't move after attacking, after all.

Edited by BrightBow
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5 hours ago, Integrity said:

[tn: i'm really mad that the only fucking unit i have with an accent in his name has become my Talk Guy because i need to keep the name on my clipboard because none of my keyboards have the accent and i don't have the numpad code memorized fuck]

As someone who has had to use fadas and accents before, Holding AltGr and pressing the letter should give you the accent.

It doesn't do it in an English keyboard language though, which is infuriating, but still not a big deal if typing in Not English. (æ e → ø ↓ are what you get for typing the vowels in English)

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

I really, honestly, hated transcribing this. This isn't peak elf wank. We're not there yet. It's just... too many words, about how Cool Erloranas Is. Note how Faerie has never been used as a proper noun before.

Oh no, this isn't peak?

We're in danger.

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Oh yeah. This is arguably the best dual-phase unit in the whole game. Proper elf wank, and the art does not at all match the sprite, but Avengers fucking rule. They're relatively durable, have great ranged backed by strong melee, and hide in the trees. Fucking love Avengers.

Avengers: When you want to have a moving forest that smacks the enemy in the face. Really nice on forested maps, still alright without them.

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On 3/12/2019 at 5:39 AM, Dayni said:

As someone who has had to use fadas and accents before, Holding AltGr and pressing the letter should give you the accent.

It doesn't do it in an English keyboard language though, which is infuriating, but still not a big deal if typing in Not English. (æ e → ø ↓ are what you get for typing the vowels in English)

presuming gr is this kadoodle ` interesting, i never knew - i tried it with my german keyboard and got nothing, but hitting it then a gives me â, so maybe there's hope?

 

EDIT: heck yeah hitting = then e in the german keyboard gives me é you're a lifesaver pal

Edited by Integrity
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THE SOUTH GUARD 7 - CRIME

Spoiler

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Spoiler alert: this owns.

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Spot the new faces among our new homies! Also note that that skeleton is a homie as well.

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Yeah. You know what this means, motherfuckers. When even Afalas is giving up his shot at not dying, you know it's last stand time.

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It's an empty promise, and everyone here knows it.

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And they're off. As you might expect, we can't recall any of our guys this map - all our best troops went off with Deoran, though we can still recruit new blood.

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Yes, bitches.

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Our defences are solid, and we have 125 gold to spend on new blood.

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Mediocre but fast and versatile fighters, the officer line of loyalists can never be recruited, but when you have them, cherish them.

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Our enemies are secure in an unassailable base. Maybe there's a way to snipe one of them. Maybe.

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Chocobones are... a joke unit in the game for some reason. They have charge, like horsemen, along with skeletal resistances.

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Draugs... have really cool art. They're the tier 3 skeletons.

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The ... 'tier 4' lich. They don't actually promote from liches, but they're in the game to provide an appropriate final boss. They have a terrifying amount of ranged damage, a swordsman-plus-drain melee attack, and more than a royal guard's worth of health. They are not fucking around.

Note the name. Yeah, this is the big lad himself.

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First moves. We fail to kill a bat - note the lieutenant's raising his sword while the heavy infantryman benefits from his leadership, it's a nice touch. I decide to have the west barricade stay manned.

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Early trades go poorly all around. Findlas the heavy infantryman falls, though Chumet, the survivor, takes down the skeleton on the counter.

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The west has a better time of it, picking off a couple of bats and the skeleton.

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The east... continues to deteriorate alarmingly quickly, as the chocobone's luck holds.

I run out of money with this batch of recruits; in all, five footpads and five thugs.

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On the eastern enemy phase, Seran the peasant unexpectedly survives and counter-kills a bat, while the lucky chocobone misses and is killed by Lieutenant Meris, who goes on to brutalise a couple of bats. This other chocobone, however, brings down our other heavy infantry - but not before taking a staggering 36-damage shot to the face.

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Things remain lively in the east, as we clear all immediate threats and brace for impact.

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And that impact is not going to be pretty... still, given the far weaker west flank, we can afford to pull off the footpads we sent west, the Urza, as well as the heavy infantryman who was already stationed there.

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Bone Shooter is the dumbest class name in the game, but they're the tier 2 skeleton archers. Apart from being unusually pathetic in melee, they're about as you'd expect.

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Green runs out of recruitment coin, and the first soulless thuds wetly into being missed three times by Orome. Seran's killed by the revenant, but otherwise, we got off fairly lightly. Best murder the fuck out of those chocobones, though...

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But we just don't have the DPS - or, tragically, the hits.

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Turn 5, and the situation starts to look grim. I'm starting to lose track of the guys we lose, and the numbers are seriously dwindling.

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In the west... plot armour. This is frustrating. M'Brin, sure, but this one comes out to play!

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We mop up what we can in the east, we pull back in the west, leaving some meat behind; hopefully the lich will leave us alone.

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He does leave us alone, but the weight of meat in the west is overwhelming. In the east, some fortunate counters alleviate the potential damage; and with that, we've made it to turn 6.

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Our ability to actually handle threats is... limited, and many of our lawful units are almost better off not attacking. But the terrain should help hold off the west, along with a spearman we're barely able to squeeze out. In the east, I'm trying to keep Lt. Meris alive as long as possible, but by this stage Sgt. Cadry is just more meat. One of our footpads promotes, and if we're very lucky, so might another.

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Finde and Illan go down, and the west is looking... very not great.

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In the east, though, most of their turn was spent not killing Urza Afalas. And... it's dawn, turn 7. We're now playing with house money.

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We salvage our position somewhat in the east with some more judicious boneshed, but the west is a lost cause. Gerrick's going to recruit one last dave next turn, then he's out of there.

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Urza Afalas goes down, victim to ruinous bad luck as four straight 30%s shred him. Still, the guy to his southwest promotes when a draug fails to kill her.

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This guy, Citharran, brings low two zombies on the counter before finally being dragged down by weight of numbers.

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The situation continues to deteriorate; I send a couple west guys north as distractions, which works, but we're now wholly east-focused, and forced out of our keep.

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The same draug promotes another footpad by failing to kill, while this footpad's one XP off her promotion, so as good as.

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Luck deserts us at a bad moment; one of two 60%s hit would mean a promotion and no bone shooter. But them's the breaks. Wesnoth's about weighting the dice in your favour as much as possible; hope for the best, but plan for literally everything to fail.

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Meanwhile, whether it's bad luck or just the weight of numbers, two more outlaws fall.

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Between one on PP and three on the same EP, this spearman kills four zombies before he finally goes down.

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The simple arithmetic, though...

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... just isn't in our favour.

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At some stage, the line will break.

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We are separated from turn 12 by a margin of 'one less than pretty much every 60% in the world hitting Gerrick'.

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Well, we may only have delayed the inevitable...

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... but, by God, we did delay it.

 

Edited by Parrhesia
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For some reason I totally forgot about the Sergeant class line and remembered the promotions for it branching off the Spearman's sword-based promotions. God, I really don't remember this shit very well at all lol.

That fucking Lich art is fantastic, though.

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There are plenty of enemy leaders in the game that are near impossible to kill but I don't think I've ever seen the game literally making one invincible. But I guess I just suck too much to ever get into striking distance.

In any case, I sure hope they have enough sticks in Westin.

Edited by BrightBow
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15 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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The ... 'tier 4' lich. They don't actually promote from liches, but they're in the game to provide an appropriate final boss. They have a terrifying amount of ranged damage, a swordsman-plus-drain melee attack, and more than a royal guard's worth of health. They are not fucking around.

Note the name. Yeah, this is the big lad himself.

Well, the Elf route really pussed out, he was nowhere near this powerful!

RIP Gerrick and the last Urza, really it's a shame the side bosses couldn't be killed.

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3 hours ago, Dayni said:

Well, the Elf route really pussed out, he was nowhere near this powerful!

RIP Gerrick and the last Urza, really it's a shame the side bosses couldn't be killed.

He is exactly as strong, with the additional benefit of getting to keep his +25% night boost throughout the entire map. At least in the current version. There must have been quite a few changes to the elf path at some point. One map is not used at all and the remaining maps must have been heavily redesigned, seeing how the walkthrough on the official site does no longer match.

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32 minutes ago, BrightBow said:

He is exactly as strong, with the additional benefit of getting to keep his +25% night boost throughout the entire map. At least in the current version. There must have been quite a few changes to the elf path at some point. One map is not used at all and the remaining maps must have been heavily redesigned, seeing how the walkthrough on the official site does no longer match.

I mean, there's actually a note on that on the site: There's been a major revision with the recent release (which I recently learned I don't have) so things have changed. He was a regular Lich in 1.14.5.

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THE SOUTH GUARD 8 - CRIME FINALE

Spoiler

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Once again, we're full circle.

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Now, this; this is a proper finale. We are gonna go down to Mebrin and punch his teeth down his throat; that's all.

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We'll be doing that using the resources provided us by our respectable-but-not-amazing defence last time around. I don't have an up-to-date list of how long gets you what - the wiki walkthrough is long outdated - but it's stuff like these daves in the east, and their torch, and a few more defence tiles.

You've already met silver magi in Elven Incursion. They're fucking lit.

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Just like last time, Mebrin summons tier 2s and 3s; this time, Tera can summon tier 2 ghouls and blood bats.

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An illustration of teleport's range in action.

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For all we won that eastern torch, I'm not sure how much use it has in practice. Man, I hope our obscene bad luck to not make it to turn 12 didn't cost us something really nice.

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We have the cash to call out every promoted unit we have, a thug and footpad close to levelling, the loyal hunter and a couple more random thugs. That's everyone you see here plus two thugs and our three non-Jarek dragoons.

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Two chocobones make mistakes.

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But one of the provincial guard does fall, to this soulless. Neat touch; if a guy dies to plague in a village, they don't rise up as a zombie. This might just be because they couldn't code the resulting village capture, or might be because they didn't want that to be a village capture itself. Or it might be a lore thing. It works for all these ways, honestly.

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At which point a gimmick is revealed for the map; every casualty we suffer gives the undead gold. I think this is new to this version.

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So. Thinking on the map layout, there's three approaches, and I think I may have picked the worst of them. This terrain... sucks. Really badly. There's a couple of crossings, but they're bad places to fight. I went initially to strike while the iron was hot, making favourable early trades. Sure, our defences here may be weak, but we have leadership and room to pull back. I could also pull back further, ceding them the ice and just attritioning them down, but they move well through the swamp, and are better than us on frost. They at least are as shit as we are in water. Also, I want to push through and get the green keep as soon as possible.

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The better approach may have been crossing and fighting en masse in the east, by the hard-won torch. My dragoons are taking that approach now, though they'll be too late for the provincial infantry. Still, taking out two chocobones has been a great help.

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Necrophages are even more of a pain than ghouls, for the record. They didn't have a tier 3 until relatively recently. It's. I. I hate the tier 3's sprite in every conceivable way.

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Tragedy strikes; the last guard goes down, and the chocobone hits two 60%s to dust Royal Flush. The odds were in my favour!! But I shouldn't have moved them so far forward.

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For all that, our plan's working. 

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The bandit, Spuddock, finishes off this necrophage without even taking a hit in return; and with that, we've basically rolled through everything in the sea. Ylla the hunter is incredibly, incredibly dead, sure, but that's one guy; we killed multiple promoted units.

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Yeah... okay, maybe I got a bit overconfident. Both mermen fall; so, damagingly, does the silver mage.

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Still, we can at least drag down this draug while we pull back. The thug beefed 2/4 80%s to not get the promotion himself; null sweat, as the kids say. Brant Crawley's still probably fucked, but hey!

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Yeah, that... was predictable. We lose another thug and, tragically, to a bat, Swag.

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Surveying the damage... should we have pulled back? We've had punishing losses inflicted on us, but we've seriously bitten back. The map signposting is... a little awkward, honestly. Granted, they had to work with what they'd already built with Westin, but it's just so counterintuitive if they really do want you to slip out the northeast to attack foes to your south and southwest.

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Hey it's reinforcements- oh God they're in the north. You know, I know there's a new pokemon here, but I'm only gonna add him to the bestiary if he hauls his fat arse over fast enough to set a bitch on fire.

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So let's take stock. We have 15 guys of relevance. With the bulk of the fighting done at night, we've inflicted nearly 2:1 casualties on the enemy. And for all their forces look scary... they aren't. We aren't trapped here with them.

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They're trapped here with us.

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After some punishing but worthwhile trades, we lose a bandit, a footpad, Snug Wilhelm and most of Deoran's blood. Chadwick outarches a bone shooter before dismembering him with his longsword.

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We are so tantalisingly close to that base camp and a full wave of reinforcements.

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Imagine coming this far to pull out now. No matter the cost.

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All three of Jarek's homies are dead; Jarek, who re-killed one of them himself, got a promotion out of it.

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Briefly.

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uhm.

so, ah

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And with Gerrick's fourteen days holding out against the undead hordes, will Deoran have enough time to prepare for the undead onslaught? Let's find out next time!

 

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THE SOUTH GUARD 9 - ACTUAL FINALE

Spoiler

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Take... two. We'll be recalling the same combat load as last time (minus one new thug, due to tax); now, however, in addition to the eastern holdout, we have Lieutenant Nilaf, a horseman, bowman, spearman and, intriguingly, two Merman Warriors (the tier 2s, like Myssh) to help out in the west. And as a nice little touch, pretty much all the villages in the northern half of the map start out in our hot little hands.

This time, we'll actually be using the eastern holdout to hold out in the east. If the mermen can help anchor green, so much the better.

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Already an issue presents itself; every western village we have is basically being ceded. Going this route, we have to push hard southwest... at night.

This is why I wanted to go the other route!

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On the bright side, instead of being dead, now Myssh is level 3. Merman warriors can go either triton or hoplite; the latter is a tank, basically. That sounds ideal for this, but I want blade damage. A chocobone runs into the triton and dies.

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The magi get here after turn 5, with essentially nothing having happened over the earlygame, instead of midway through Gallipoli.

Interestingly, they're partially randomised. They're all set to be homies, the archmage is Romand and the red mage Alanafel, but the white magi have random names from the generic pool and all of their non-loyal trait is random (two spawned quick last time, which was obviously handy). One of them is called Derrreoryr. Yes, with five Rs. Now do you know why I rename them?

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Mind the logjam.

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Okay, this seems to confirm to me this is the intended place. Remember, Mebrin talks shit about it being nightfall - but taking the scenic route, we're all nice and cozy and safe.

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The next time I start to underestimate swamp terrain penalties, I'm gonna look at this image.

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They slap wetly into my formation. Our crumple zone consists of Brant Crawley and the mostly-levelled footpad who became an outlaw just in time to die. Crawley was the guy last time who became a swordsman and died on the same turn.

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Now there's a proper introduction. As a promoted red mage, maybe you don't want to be a silver mage. Maybe you just want to set people on fire more better. Arch magi are there for you. Good news: after a faintly obscene amount of experience, they can even reach tier 4, one of the very few units that can.

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It's not all chuckles and roses here, of course. Two bandits go down in a single turn, along with the Guard bowman.

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Meanwhile, in the west, the lich eagerly swallows the bait and reaps the whirlwind. But we aren't able to get a full encirclement. Hopefully our boys will be able to untangle themselves from the east front soon and help back them up...

Aha. My little joke, you see.

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There is no east front.

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It'll probably mean Myssh's life, but he does manage to chase up and finish off the backup lich. Meanwhile, despite being consistently terrible, Ylla promotes. Also I accidentally skip past it but Mebrin says "omg you killed my side bitch... like, fucking wow, okay, do you want a fucking trophy for that nobody gives a fuck"

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Then Deoran drops a fuckin' TRUTH BOMB on him.

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Bitch,

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, what warriors?

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IGNORE THIS PAGE

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Our advance is unstoppable. Inexorable. Ylla's death and immediate re-death are nothing to me.

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Then again, with the, uh... bloodthirsty nature of recent advances, Mebrin scrapes together the funds for one last powerful wave.

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This Guard does go down, but not before taking out two revenants. That's a worthwhile trade. Because it makes this possible.

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Yeah. Looking a lot fucking rosier, aren't we.

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Minister Hylas has killed so many guys by now that he promotes! But, wait, he's already level 3 and has no further promotion. What happens is, uh, a full heal and another 4 health and that's it. I've always felt like they could use a boost of 1 damage per attack and at least the title of being level 4 (or whatever), on top of that, but it's still nice that it's a thing at all.

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Mebrin chooses to die on his feet, vapourising a thug with four straight hits.

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They struggle, but to no avail.

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Jarek finally joins his two surviving brethren in the third tier.

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And Mebrin joins Swag's extensive count of 'people killed to death with swords'.

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In my headcanon, Deoran has the lich strung up, drawn and quartered.

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It is. And now, since this is an actual full real campaign and not Two Brothers...

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Overview time! Of those 63 losses, 29 came in Pebbles in the Flood - the more successful attempt, where I didn't dither with sending thugs west, actually wound up getting a tier 3 thug and booked Gerrick into the northeast corner to die - and 23 came in Tides of War, this map. Against 57 kills, that's not bad.

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The full unit list... well, there's four extra thugs who never actually got into a fight, too. I think it was clear that Hylas was our MVP, in an undead-focused campaign where we didn't get any magi or heavy infantry, the usual loyalist counters.

Two Brothers kind of sucked, but the South Guard is a good campaign. It's probably the best actual starting point for a new player, either that or Elven Incursion. It plays around interestingly with unit composition, forces you to make the best of square pegs against round holes, gives you a genuine, chunky route split - the elven path never reunites with the crime path, and we'll see if we wind up playing that as a bonus thing - and the plot is... I mean, it's not fucking War and Peace, but it's fine, there's characters to care about doing things that make sense in the world. It's a small story, and that's okay.

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10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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The next time I start to underestimate swamp terrain penalties, I'm gonna look at this image.

Ah, Silver mages, absolutely funny with this shenanigans.

It's funny to see how difficult swamps are unless you've got fins. That lack of move is something.

10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Now there's a proper introduction. As a promoted red mage, maybe you don't want to be a silver mage. Maybe you just want to set people on fire more better. Arch magi are there for you. Good news: after a faintly obscene amount of experience, they can even reach tier 4, one of the very few units that can.

Yeah, the tier four is great, much as it's just Fire, but more.

10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

, what warriors?

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IGNORE THIS PAGE

....Oh.

Those warriors.

10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Minister Hylas has killed so many guys by now that he promotes! But, wait, he's already level 3 and has no further promotion. What happens is, uh, a full heal and another 4 health and that's it. I've always felt like they could use a boost of 1 damage per attack and at least the title of being level 4 (or whatever), on top of that, but it's still nice that it's a thing at all.

Honestly, while that'd be cool, that would be insane on the longer campaigns, considering it'd get you something close to 20 on each attack if you focused on it.

10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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In my headcanon, Deoran has the lich strung up, drawn and quartered.

That would be a great image. I would also headcanon him shouting a lecture at the lich corpse, with a "You little shit" to cap it off.

Also interesting, there's been a sequel campaign that was originally worked on by the same person who made this, but they quit and someone took up the mantle. It's slowly being worked on, with no update for a while.

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it's only been a week; i did nothing last week

 

Spoiler

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there was between-map narration i didn't capture; you are collectively not worth enough to me

anyway

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That was it for the intro.

 

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Mages are the order of the day, and avengers can be useful; melee otherwise.

 

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The map is a clusterfuck.

 

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Clusterfuck maps require clusterfuck solutions.

 

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A good unit set to counter archers, I'd say.

 

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I know it's been said, but silver mages are fun. I prefer the simplicity of the MORE FIRE mage, myself.

 

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Anyway, I make that move and then remember that only the mage can recruit mages, so let's do this.

 

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They're not even respecting my extremely rudimentary plan.

 

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Neat thing about avengers, the best unit in the game: they get flat land penalties in the swamp, making them relatively excellent tanks in this crapstain of a map. With that, battle lines are.... drawn?

 

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The Plan, Mk. II. The central line is not ideal, but should work against the small numbers. Army Group East will try to overwhelm the force there and form up to repel the counter, and That Guy on the left will go cut off the economy. Speaking of, that's a new sprite for you I think!

 

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Remember how C said bats were the second most obnoxious scouting unit the undead have? These boys have bad durability, weak attacks that drain (but do hit a good type for killing other undead!), and float, meaning they have 50% defense everywhere. Not too bad, yeah?

 

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Ghosts are fucking obnoxious.

 

The promotions are great though.

 

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Anyway, through luck and moxie our marksman onerounds the ghost, steals a house, and promotes!

 

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Sharpshooters are, frankly, absurd. Bask in the elfwank. We're still not at peak.

 

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Meanwhile, Army Group East absolutely fucking fizzles out.

 

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Comparing this screenshot to my actual plan, we're actually in an okay pattern in the center, the south overachieved, and the east blew it badly and crucially.

 

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Our boys in red are carved through. Ouch.

 

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We manage to rally and pull together something like a formation just in time for full dark so they can get bonus damage on us :)

 

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okay that's just fucking rude dodge something you coward

 

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Anyway, our healer also almost dies, prompting the avenger to react and fail to prevenge.

 

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The lich comes out to play!

 

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Count my mages! This map was a goddamn disaster! It doesn't matter, since the next map gives you a load of reinforcements for free, and is the last map of the campaign.

 

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This is at neutral time for the lich. Drain gives half damage back as health. In the dark, it's absolutely possible to be statistically unable to damage a lich.

 

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Fortunately they have arcane damage weaknesses and Erlornas fucks him up, because Erlornas is bullshit overtuned.

 

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Captain gets the kill.

 

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Shut up, weeb.

 

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Don't enable him.

 

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15 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Ghosts are fucking obnoxious.

This image sums it up perfectly.

It's like, I can't trust them to survive but I also can't trust they will die as enemies either. That of course is before they promote.

15 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Shut up, weeb.

He'd take offence to that:

He's clearly an Elfaeboo.

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