Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth

[Laura]

1 minute ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

being sympathetic to the indigenous peoples

 

[Interdimensional Observer]

6 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Yes, as so many unenlightened third-worlders such as checks notes Ray Bradbury have done

...And admittedly, the Chinese if my one book on the early invention of firearms there is being remembered correctly, does mention the Chinese referring to some bombs with the ideogram for "thunder" thrown in their names to sound awesome.

 

I'll delete the post. I should've just stuck with a perverted little lighthearted joke and not added that, done only because my history-oriented mind had that little factoid pop into it as I was typing it. I just finished reading a history of Mexico, my MA is in World History, I support inclusiveness.

 

Please no points. Please. 

[Integrity]

9 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I can understand why someone would compare a firearm to thunder. 

the problem is there is a distinct disconnect between understanding why one would compare a stick that makes a thunder noise to being thunder, and calling them out for being indigenous peoples who are being dominated by a technologically superior conqueror.

like, it's not that the original chinese inventors of gunpowder gave the bang any superior nomenclature - it was called fire medicine, because they didn't really understand what it did - but they literally invented it

[Integrity]

edit and doublepost: op has backed down, this is noted, please do not pursue them further

[Interdimensional Observer]

8 minutes ago, Integrity said:

the problem is there is a distinct disconnect between understanding why one would compare a stick that makes a thunder noise to being thunder, and calling them out for being indigenous peoples who are being dominated by a technologically superior conqueror.

like, it's not that the original chinese inventors of gunpowder gave the bang any superior nomenclature - it was called fire medicine, because they didn't really understand what it did - but they literally invented it

I did not praise the conquerors, and did not intend to whatsoever. My use of the word "poor" to describe the natives, although I should have used "indigenous" in retrospect, was not to be condescending, it was to be sincerely sympathetic.

And I'm aware of fire medicine, my above post already mentions something similar. I learned the fire medicine thing from a book that was thoroughly revisionist Chinese history and I loved that book (The Gunpowder Age by Tonio Andrade to be precise). I like revisionist histories which contradict and argue against European preconceptions of non-European societies. I've also read Westad's Global Cold War.

Again, I apologize, I did not intend to be racist or anything else negative in the post deemed objectionable.

Edited March 24, 2019 by Interdimensional Observer

[Integrity]

it's cool chief, i recognize you did an oopsie in poor taste and have owned up to it, there is no bad blood here

[Punished Dayni]

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

I'm going to be honest, coming across this part of the opening made me think some unfortunate things had gone on.

You know, the Oedepial kind.

Not that it matters thanks to Delfadonekilledaking.

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

Meet Konrad. He's our lord for the next twenty-

checks

twenty-seven updates.

My offer of covering route splits still stands.

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

Finally, we have control of .....honestly one of the shittest designed maps in Heir to the Throne. I will preface this with a general statement: Heir to the Throne is a good campaign. It is dragged the fuck down by a few things:

1: The first map is one of the worst maps in SRPG history.

2: The route splits are completely arbitrary and lead to massively different completely untelegraphed difficulty spikes or troughs.

3: In the final third of the campaign, the enemy will just fucking yeet tier 2 / tier 3 units at you en masse, so fuck you if you lost any of your highly promoted dudes ever I guess.

4: Your starting contingent is elves.

1. This ain't Shining Force levels of shitty move though.

2. Yep. I haven't seen what a certain map is like but it was apparently insane in earlier versions.

3. Oh yes, the final map is still fucking nuts.

4. I mean, I know I don't hate elves gameplay wise.

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

5:

Konrad is fucking awful to begin. Take an elven fighter, give him one fewer strike and one more damage, take away a chunk of his dodge and his HP, take away his bonus movement through forests, and make him lawful. Behold: Konrad. Note: if this sack of slow shit dies in the flight through an entirely forested area, you lose the map. Fuck you!

Base Konrad: anything but based.

Thank fuck he gets better, unlike Malin.

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

Delfador, on the flip, is obscenely strong, and if you told me he wasn't inspired by Jagen I'd disbelieve you. He cannot promote from where he is, and he fucks off with all his experience in a few maps, to reappear much later. Kills on Delfador are essentially wasted, but holy fuck he does 14x4 at a fixed 70% Jesus Christ.

Delfadalf: he's like Gandalf didn't just help when shit really hit the fan.

Not that he won't be conveniently absent though.

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

We recruit a bunch of elves, and so do out allies, and Konrad sallies forth.

On his 6 movement.

Without forest bonuses.

*Internal AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

44 minutes ago, Integrity said:

Our boys do a great chip job for the mage. She secures the kill.

 

Fuckin' nice.

I'll be honest, I'm jealous you did this.

I spent half the bloody campaign trying to promote one of these.

Edited March 24, 2019 by Dayni

[BrightBow]

Laura is the best healer.

Urgh, this map. I tried beating it a whole bunch of times on the highest difficulty but I never even came close to prevailing. And the map probably used to be harder too. Back in the day your allied leaders were only lv2 and did not deploy any veteran units.

Anyway, Konrad also gets a line if he managed to actually kill someone on this map: "Die, villain, die!"
...I suppose the script could be better.

Speaking of angry Konrad, I really wish I could track down his old angry portrait. That one looked amazing.

Edit: Also, I took a peek into the scenario files and on hard mode the enemies will specifically target Delfador and Konrad.

Edited March 25, 2019 by BrightBow

[Integrity]

On 3/24/2019 at 7:21 PM, Dayni said:

I'll be honest, I'm jealous you did this.

I spent half the bloody campaign trying to promote one of these.

reckon you should have tried getting good, op

 

Spoiler

I've made the executive decision to skip the fuck out on typing out Heir to the Throne's text dumps. I'm switching to a Parrhesian screenshot strategy.

 

Sir Kaylan is a legend. Look at that fuckin' sprite. He's of the Rohirrim, transparently.

 

Hopefully you see why I gave up transcribing. Christ.

 

The map is pretty straightforward. Our twin priorities are getting a favorable front line set up and strangling Sir Kaylan's gold income so he stops making guys to take our kills. Nominally, the objective is to survive, but... well. It's me.

 

Our recall list is anemic but will grow hugely with strong huge horsemen now.

 

Anyway, as bestiary goes, Sir Kaylan is the top promoted knight. Just gaze on his glory.

 

I pull the controversial double scout open, and send our loyal horseboi off. Money will flow fast and readily.

 

Sir Kaylan can recruit promoted horsemen. We don't want him to.

 

Purple just makes guys.

 

Horsemen, as has been established, are not to be fucked with.

(i don't take this move.)

 

Sir Kaylan immediately starts leeching XP.

 

Anyway, the engagement went less than desired, and they're all arrayed against Sir Kaylan's dudes. We're gonna leave them to die, but it's a bit annoying.

 

stop succeeding

 

Meanwhile, we get lightly attacked and get Laura promoted. I'm feeling cocky, so she goes the line that completely loses the ability to heal. Fuck it. She's a spooky witch.

 

I don't remember if I posted it last time, but behold anyway.

 

Anyway, Konrad is still a garbage idiot who dies on 50% terrain. What's new?

 

fuck's sake

 

fuck you

 

Meanwhile, we're starving Sir Kaylan.

 

sweats

Maybe leaving the treeline was a bad idea.

 

Nah.

 

Damage mounts, but we shove them back hard and fast. And, hey! Promote Konrad!

 

He's still kind of a shitty elf fighter, but at least he has leadership now!

 

Looking good, except for Sir Kaylan's bastard child right up in there.

 

The nice thing is that with the promotion Konrad is threatening in full daylight, at least.

 

Okay, Orc Lord.

 

Seized!

 

Anyway, Sir Kaylan's bastard child keeps getting kills.

 

We still lock it all down.

 

Thanks, Delf!

 

The boat moves, and makes boat noises. It's lit as fuck.

 

 

[Punished Dayni]

6 hours ago, Integrity said:

reckon you should have tried getting good, op

They've 5 move, can't damage worth a damm and are surprisingly capable of dying.

I'd rank the shamans pretty lowly among tier 1s.

Then again I was able to get other units raised faster because I could trust them to fight more than something that deals 4x2.

6 hours ago, Integrity said:

That name seems..... familiar.

On 3/5/2019 at 12:39 PM, Parrhesia said:

I see, so he's Deoran's grandpappy.

Does he count as a game over then?

6 hours ago, Integrity said:

Meanwhile, we're starving Sir Kaylan.

Wow, way to be mean about it.

I mean his mooks are highrolling and actually surviving but still.

6 hours ago, Integrity said:

He's still kind of a shitty elf fighter, but at least he has leadership now!

He has range!

Sure, not great range, but still.

[BrightBow]

Well, at least Konrad doesn't cost any upkeep. High level units with the Loyal trait are such a joy because upkeep actually increases with level. And recalling units costs the same regardless of the unit's level. So with just a few experienced loyal units you can really bring a lot of power to the field without it affecting to your income in any way.

Edited March 26, 2019 by BrightBow

[Parrhesia]

DESCENT INTO FURTHER DESCENT 4

Spoiler

Imaginative.

Point in Descennt's favour: new portrait for Malin Keshar! I'm pretty sure, though can't verify, that this is down to campaign progress and not his last promotion. He's looking a little the worse for wear, kinda jowly, distinctly sallow. He has new robes that already look like shit.

So. We have a northern path. If we want, we can twist south and kill blue, but it doesn't really seem like it gets us anything. If Malin Keshar books it for the northern signpost without stopping, it'll take 14 turns - we have a maximum of 36, so there's plenty of leeway.

If Wesnoth has a character limit for its unit names, it's generous. Six and Cicero also get recalled, along with the Dassler brothers - Adi, Puma and New Balance. Wonder what we can recruit next turn-

ah praise fucking be, christ and begorrah
We start hiring uhhhhh

A bunch of skeletons.

In the north I make a significant error of judgement.

Wolf riders have a split promotion path. Probably one of the best ones that ends at tier 2 locked; pillagers offer amazing damage-type utility, along with nets. They're great.

I'm not sure whether or not we've been introduced to crossbowmen, but there's a couple of these guys backing up the pillager, too. They're orcish archers but with numbers. Also, orcish archers require hilariously little experience to level up. It's surprisingly easy to get a little crossbow squad going, even in multiplayer. As a result, they're pretty much one of the best units in the game. Poachers are similar, but a little inferior.

In the south, Six faces off against all of blue. I love him, but we'll have to pull back.

In the north, despite how terrible at fighting fire damage ghosts are, they survive. This guy lands both shots, but Puma just promotes and becomes another wraith. Still...

Bar the two warlords, this is every orc on the map. I'm thinking it wouldn't be too hard to crush everyone in the centre, then move the ghosts south to deal with the warlord. Too ambitious? Yeah, maybe.

Yet again, a crossbowman decides to promote one of my dudes he has no chance of killing. I feel like this didn't used to happen. What's nice and a new feature is that for the longest time, if you promoted on EP, your promotion would be randomised. Now you can pick! Doesn't matter for TGSTYNTWA, though, who only has the one. We covered necrophages before, very briefly, but here's some useful information - they, until relatively recently, didn't have a tier 3, and when they kill someone they gain a hit point.

Yeah, good one, Malin.

In the north, Cicero finds a village to plunder outside everyone's attack ranges. The more, the better - we're actually haemorrhaging money at the moment, thanks to upkeep.

Six dies and I'm sad about it. He was only a tier 1 and under most circumstances it's better either to summon a ghost or a fresh bat, but, damn it, he was my friend! Promoting unintelligent bats to dread bats is unlikely now that we have skeletons to do our fighting.

So far, of the four campaigns portrayed so far, it's largely been a matter of law or neutral vs. chaos. Each side has its phase it wants to fight in, and its phase it wants to withdraw in. So this is our first experience of full-chaos vs. full-chaos, which sets up a different dynamic - one in which there's a defensive day, and a more proactive night. Johannes Magnus goes down.

Cicero! What a good boy.

We advance, bloodily, through the centre. Another interesting factor about the undead is that unlike with meatbags, there's no desire to, say, want to try and feed kills to quick, intelligent guys, and use resilient guys as grist. Whoever promotes does so through opportunity.

A crossbowman event-dies randomly. Nobody says anything about it.

In the meantime, New Balance Dassler promoted to this. The description is... incredibly fake-deep. Anyway, Shadows are hidden during the night, skirmish - which is to say, ignore ZoC - and backstab, though they lose their scream and drain.

This line triggers when I put a skeleton on the cracked ice. Skeletons have submerge. If Thor Listau dies for this anyway, I swear to God...

Are you fucking kidding me.

Game. Fuck's sake. Also, I guess maybe it's percentage-based - Wallenda's alive, and so are my fucking ghosts, so.

Hey, I wonder if Malin can drown too?

Yes. Out of curiosity, I wait a bunch of turns with ghosts on broken ice, and they don't drown.

By the EP 14 mark, we're looking pretty good in the south. Hopefully the wraiths can clean up fast enough to run north. Meanwhile, uh, the walking corpse I made because I had nine gold left makes contact with the enemy commander but survives. Unscathed.

This random skeleton isn't so lucky. I should probably have ZoC-blocked the crossbow, but I honestly lost track of him in the northern woods - up there from his chase in vain of Cicero.

Darken Volk promotes in the south. He's actually a 'variant' dark sorcerer, different only in that he can't promote to lich for plot purposes. I kind of want to say he's got a palette-swapped sprite, too - grey hair, black robe - but that might honestly be default. Honestly, I'm not sure why you'd ever go necromancer over lich. 17x2 loses out to 12x3, albeit narrowly, and I prefer more attacks to fewer anyway. And their melee attack is vastly worse (compare to 8x3 arcane drain), and they're even a movement point short. They get 10 health and more normal resistances - liches don't have physical resistances as good as skeletons, but still get the downsides - but it's just not worth it, for mine.

Looks like the north is set to limp to victory, bolstered by a revenant and bone shooter.

In the south... yeah, well, we're cherry-tapping him to death. In the end, Puma gets the kill.

As below, so above.

No reward. No dialogue. Nooooo nothing.

For all that, this was a dominant performance and a very profitable result. Remember that one of the losses was a SKELETON who can SUBMERGE being drowned.

 

[BrightBow]

I was wondering if Skeletons would survive if the ice breaks. Well, at least they tried giving an explanation for why they don't.

And yeah, I can confirm the portraits are story-based. When I played the map the last time, Malin was actually still on level 1. Just checked out that save and it's the same portrait that you got.

And there is nothing random about the ice. You step on a tile once, it cracks. You step on it again, it breaks.

Also, there are some paths in the mountains that allow fliers and skeletons to move straight to the blue camp.

Edited March 26, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

5 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

I'm not sure whether or not we've been introduced to crossbowmen, but there's a couple of these guys backing up the pillager, too. They're orcish archers but with numbers. Also, orcish archers require hilariously little experience to level up. It's surprisingly easy to get a little crossbow squad going, even in multiplayer. As a result, they're pretty much one of the best units in the game. Poachers are similar, but a little inferior.

Integrity did mention them. These things arguably shouldn't be as good as they are.

Orcs probably should use bows more. Crossbows I mean, their regular bows aren't half as frightening.

5 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

In the meantime, New Balance Dassler promoted to this. The description is... incredibly fake-deep. Anyway, Shadows are hidden during the night, skirmish - which is to say, ignore ZoC - and backstab, though they lose their scream and drain.

I forgot what these were.

To be fair, possible 16x3 damage (which is upped to 20x3 at night) is spooky in and of itself. They're essentially terrifying at night and a bit less of a threat in day time.

Edited March 26, 2019 by Dayni

[BrightBow]

The loss of arcane damage is a bit of a bummer though.

[Laura]

im hot

[Punished Dayni]

4 hours ago, BrightBow said:

The loss of arcane damage is a bit of a bummer though.

True.

It could be pierce though. :P

[Integrity]

Spoiler

We're sailing!

 

The boat, again, moves and makes boat noises.

 

Scary.

 

Ah, E2M3. This is a delightfully simple slugfest.

 

We're just gonna drive south in two huge packs. Army Group Right is gonna be all the elves we got. Army Group Left is gonna be all our horses. Army Group Right is going to try hopping between covers and mow orcs down, Army Group Left is gonna fight a running battle against (hopefully) smaller forces.

 

Our first village yields a loyal mage and the ability to recruit them! They're unchanged from their appearance last time.

 

He recruits... poorly.

 

We recruit strongly, and disseminate mightily.

 

Things are going roughly according to plan! Note that all villages on the map start off enemy-owned, so a quick burst of speed like this is really helpful in getting his economy in check.

 

A wolf rider, uh, runs the blockade. Sure, bud.

 

Anyway, his day is about to get a lot worse, and a minority of enemy forces have fallen into my offside trap on the left. I also already broke ranks on the east because I'm impatient and it's a good time of day for us to press the advantage.

 

RNG could have been better, but nobody died on the enemy phase. The map is... pretty much won, now.

 

An invincible horseman is a scary thing. I can toss this guy into anything that won't oneround him, and he'll fuck it up with no consequences.

 

Left side's clear.

 

Right side's... I don't want to fight them in the mountains/hills, but that's what I've bitten off, but I do have a lot of magic damage to punch through them. Win/lose/win?

 

jesus christ abort abort abort

 

Under cover of leadership, our disloyal mage is pushing up to promotion.

 

Funny enough as matchups go, goblins fuck horsemen up horribly.

 

Still, we create a pretty strong position. Dawn is soon.

 

Odd attack patterns, but okay.

 

Consolidation from there was trivial.

 

Mood.

 

you bastard

 

what

 

Feeding such an easy kill to a scout feels

wrong

 

Just the boss now.

 

Just the boss and this guy now.

 

Just the boss and - OW

 

Anyway, killing him replaces him with Seamus.

 

Next stop: the Bay of Pearls!

 

Edited March 26, 2019 by Integrity

[Parrhesia]

DESCENT INTO ORCNESS 5

Spoiler

Whoever wrote this had only just read / seen the Hobbit, and mashed Arkenstone and Thorin together. Also, fuck yes! Dark adepts. With that, we have the entire undead roster.

imaginative titles

Alright, Malin. You finally caught up to the orcs. Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Okay, that's enough.

I stand with Borth.

Man, the orc names have been consistently terrible. I haven't been pointing and laughing - that's a mistake, I'm going to go back and look up the others. Last map we faced mighty Gron'r Hronk and K'rrlar Oban. Anyway, the guy who made the orc portraits didn't make a set grunt / warrior / warlord line - he just painted six orcs and left it to the Wesnoth devs to decide which would be which, and which were just flex campaign portraits. In the first version of Wesnoth I played, the grunt was actually P'Gareth here, and then upon promotion became an anime. I guess he was the first one done.

Anyway, thinking on my approach takes me... a good while. The issue is that orcish archers hard-counter the entire faction. Ghosts especially! And the terrain here isn't especially difficult... but I call them up anyway. They're still mobile as fuck, that's handy.

Three opponents look intimidating, but they're basically tapped out after one wave of recruitment. Not even a full one, at that. This map is going to be a cakewalk. I decide to go northwest first - there's more villages there.

I recruit three keeps and perhaps overcommit northwest. I'll need some people to hold this bridge - well, the villages, anyway - while my fast lads hit blue hard, before sweeping south themselves.

We bid farewell to a fan favourite, Cicero.

But Borth's honour guard is put to the sword. How're things looking in the south? Clarke and Wallenda get promotions, and 'So Fetch' Collins, a fresh dark mage, is well on the way.

In the south... less rosy. Yuri Gagarin gets this kill, then bites the dust. Again.

We have to pull back and wait for help - summoning two new Ghouls in the process. Yeah, I know, I said I hate ghouls - but this is... attritiony. Where they excel. I actually make skeletons at first, but have better thoughts. The handy thing about the undead is that you can undo undead recruits, because their traits are always the same - unlike meat recruits, where you could hypothetically keep training and undoing, say, elven archers, until you have only dextrous intelligent ones.

Ttttthis guy is getting the shit kicked out of him, and will probably die, but his service deserved a namedrop.

In the southwest, the bats Cut and Thrust are keeping 'em busy. Worth the 26 gold? Probably, just for some respite.

Especially now. They wind up getting out of trouble and start gleefully capping villages.

In the northwest, Borth heads for and enters the Bad Place.

In the east... inexplicably, everything turns out okay. Even for Ali down there, laughing at you, the viewer.

Exit the Borth. Collins promotes.

Bats are still cool.

Unfortunately, they're doing the same thing, only worse.

Clarke falls victim to my misplay. Which is really, really annoying, but what can you do? We have three promoted ghosts, three necromancers, three bone shooters... and just the one revenant, now.

That Guy is lucky not to follow the same fate after the crossbowman and he both bond in their love for not being hit for 60%s. The necrophage thanks him by eating him.

Ali, who inexplicably survived me throwing him into the enemy teeth, is well on the way to replacing Clarke.

The fact that I wind up trying to bait a pillager with a necromancer says a lot about how much fire damage hard-counters the entire faction.

You can actually get a little synopsis by putting your cursor over a particular attack. Keep in mind that fire damage may as well be very effective against ghosts, since it's barely resisted at all and ghosts rely entirely on resistances for durability.

The necrophage eats him because nobody else will. I'm 40 experience - five levels of killing, or more realistically four plus attrition - away from the tier 3.

I don't want a tier 3. I got one in multiplayer once. It sucked.

They finally brought down Thrust, but Cut lives on.

Our approach to green is aborted by another fucking pillager showing up.

Er. Well. F for Cut.

The warlord can't resist this adept.

Ali gets his kill! What a legend. He promotes, and-

Pretend there's a screenshot here where the green warlord just yeets west, without fanfare. Come the fuck on!

Oh, I hope to God Malin chases after this one fucking orc and then gets stomped into the ground and dies and becomes a lich.

... tasks...

A rough start. With another go at it, I'd probably aim to split my forces evenly, trusting in a superior northwest force to edge out blue and south to edge out purple. Which is basically what ended up happening, anyway, just with less dithering. The losses were painful, but it's hard to avoid with so much fire around. And while one promoted unit is dead, he only promoted this map, anyway, and Ali's a ready-made replacement. Two more bone shooters and our first dark sorcerer also join the crew, and we have a few guys coming perilously close to tier 3.

NEXT TIME

you had one fucking job

 

[BrightBow]

Darken Volk hasn't actually been using that many... ellipses... since his first map, huh? Well, glad he brought this... quirk... of his back one final time before he left.

Edited March 28, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

Okay, that's enough.

Orcs:

Malin Keshar: Goes off on a rant about how terrile they are.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

We have to pull back and wait for help - summoning two new Ghouls in the process. Yeah, I know, I said I hate ghouls - but this is... attritiony. Where they excel. I actually make skeletons at first, but have better thoughts. The handy thing about the undead is that you can undo undead recruits, because their traits are always the same - unlike meat recruits, where you could hypothetically keep training and undoing, say, elven archers, until you have only dextrous intelligent ones.

Yeah, the ability to undo recruits because they have no traits is nice for misclicks or changing minds.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

In the east... inexplicably, everything turns out okay. Even for Ali down there, laughing at you, the viewer.

I'm not even mad.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

you had one fucking job

I assume he had to stop to rant.

[BrightBow]

Malin Keshar: Since the very founding of Wesnoth you have hounded humans at every turn. You have raided my home at every opportunity. You have trampled our fields, slaughtered our livestock. You have brought war to a place of peace, and death to a place of life. You have killed without remorse, and despoiled that which was once beautiful. You have murdered my father and caused endless trouble to me. Now I shall have my revenge on you. Expect no mercy from me, because you have long since lost the right to it. I will crush you into the dust. The attacks on Parthyn will stop here and now. When I bring word of your demise the town will cheer my triumphant return.

Darken Volk: Malin, your passion will be your key to great power but PRACTICE YOUR SPEECHES WHEN FOLKS AREN'T TRYING TO SLEEP!!!

[Parrhesia]

DESCENT AND DESCENSIBILITY 6

Spoiler

heyyy guuuuysss we're baaaack

Hey, look who got a promotion! And, hey, better still - look at his three homies. Ring any bells?

t o l d

I wonder if it's set to be a ghost or dark adept, or if it's just whoever. It'd be a slightly weird line coming from, like, a ghoul.

"So, spring break, right?"

GASP
Also, NEW POKEMON

I mean. It's fucking obviously not that, either.

Sure thing, jowlsy, let's-

I'm sorry, my fail condition is what, now.

Does that include his homies, or... ? Oh, and the game punked out. They're very obviously meant to be the two spearmen and bowman who joined us at first, but they don't have the names or the EXP or the same traits, they're just 'River fort guard'. The torch, by the way, doesn't have the same radiance as, say, the end of the South Guard did.

Here's P'Gareth (yeah, I know), same guy who ran last map. Does it track his name, too, or just assume you killed the other two first?

This is a really terrible class name in this context. A) a Frontier Baroness is a Margravine, which is a much fucking cooler word. B) she is not a Margravine, she is some peasant with some standing in the community. Anyway, she's a reskin of the deuteragonist of a later campaign, the Rise of Wesnoth (or, something).

Anyway, let's try this on for size-

are you for fucking serious

This is better, until you consider;

ZONE OF CONTROL IS A MECHANIC.

I have a better idea.

Until this.

I really hope that if the orcs kill one of the humans it's a failure, but I test it and it's not. Maybe the idea is to sit tight until green and blue kill each other.

Anyway, turn 5 and finally it falls into place for Malin to annihilate Drogan.

"... Drogan?"

Nobody saw that coming!! On the bright side, the sister has a cool squad loadout.

Oh this mission is such fucking garbage. Totally shift mission objectives to something that we aren't built around. I guess you could say it was forecast by the map being really short and unsatisfying otherwise, or by the boss kill, but honestly? Nah. You've already committed to at least your turn 1 by the time it becomes clear you've got to kill the orc leader. Also, why no early finish bonus? We're haemorrhaging cash right now, and I don't know if we have enough to win because my force composition is based on facetanking guys we can't fight back against.

Now that we're allowed to fight, however, we annihilate everyone. Unfortunately, bone shooter Konstanty dies. There is no justice.

Our awful march goes north. I recruit a skeleton, Victims of the Tenerife airport disaster, to throw at purple and cover our tracks.

I'm having flashbacks to certain other disastrous column river crossings.

This orc is an absolute mensch. However, superior human forces have caught up to us.

It's day next phase.

We slip, hopefully, away.

Buying three Victims of the Tenerife airport disaster for the price of one was a great move. He doesn't go down easy.

We wind up losing That Guy to this specific formation, but pretend it's this but a bit better.

Oh my God you are such a fucking incel.

The map actually ends here even though killing the boss is a 'bonus objective', so I go back and wipe off a couple humans. It's the least the game owes me for this garbage map.

If I had to do it again, I'd blow all my money standing in the keep on fresh tier 1s. We lost a lot of recruits just to the massive upkeep between turns 1 and 5. Then again, we came out relatively unscathed, losing the Victims, five dark adepts (lol) and a bone shooter, though our boy was most of the way towards promotion.

 

[BrightBow]

Well, there is no early finish bonus because there is no turn limit for this one. I do like how that enables you to do dumb strategies like fighting back against Dela and her 25 base income. 

The Orc leader is always going to be the one that escaped in the previous scenario. There is even a failsafe leader defined named "Borth" in case the leader that the game tries to use doesn't exist for whatever reason.

The advisor is probably always going to be from the Ghost line. I can't 100% confirm that. But I know that in the version of this exchange that occurs if Malin didn't summon any zombies in the first map, he refers to his advisor as a "spirit".

Also man, Malin sure took some time to actually acknowledge his sister. Still can't be bothered to actually talk to her, though. I like how Dela is not chaotic like an outlaw but also not lawful like the loyalists but instead neutral like Malin used to be. Guess that shit is genetic.

 

Edit: Also, Dela is not a peasant. The Intro described Malin as "the second child and eldest son of the baron of the city".
Come to think of it, kinda weird that they phrased this in a way that heavily suggests that Malin has a younger brother somewhere when such a character is never even mentioned in the campaign.

Edited March 30, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

She looks like her hands are clamps.

Her having prosthetics would be strange but yet I could see them being a thing in Wesnoth.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Oh my God you are such a fucking incel.

I mean, they weren't wrong, Malin's a bitch to have only outburst with boils if he was going to be this tempermental.

I mean, he should have thought that maybe he could have handled it better, even if Parthyn's a small town he could have found ways to improve his magic that weren't all about corpses. Malin's not a good protagonist is what I'm saying.

He also used more words to complain about being cast out than he did for his sister he hadn't seen for years. Must have always fallen out with her.