Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth

[BrightBow]

Malin always seems to do everything for the worst reasons. It's always "revenge" or "I will be celebrated as a hero" with him.

Edited March 30, 2019 by BrightBow

[Interdimensional Observer]

19 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Buying three Victims of the Tenerife airport disaster for the price of one was a great move. He doesn't go down easy.

 

Tenerife, the deadliest airline disaster in history. Two Airbuses A380s IRRC collided into each other on a foggy day.

The issue besides the weather is that the pilot of one of the Airbuses mistook the air traffic controller as saying they were cleared for takeoff, when the ATC meant they were to prepare for takeoff.

Also, I think the pilot was a veteran pilot who been doing little in real flights at that time, instead teaching students in the simulator, where he was effectively the ATC and weather conditions were controlled, so he didn't quite listen so attentively as he should have.

 

...Weird knowledge to have, I know.

Edited March 31, 2019 by Interdimensional Observer

[Parrhesia]

ASCENT FROM DARKNESS? 7

Spoiler

ohhh my goooodddd

Alright. That took us a while out of our way.

This is probably why they wanted to dramatically choke off your money supply - there is no way in hell you finish last map with a profit. It's not the only campaign to 'checkpoint' your gold at this point, and it helps rein you in if you're snowballing (we absolutely were) or prop you up if you're struggling. It's mostly just bad because instead of it being in a massive fight, it was in the world's worst escape map.

The complete lack of intelligence is kind of fucking maddening.

Having to guess more or less blindly as to what six recalls to make for this AND the next map, I plump for our revenants, Nabrit the boneshooter, Collins the sorceress, the necrophage and our shadow, New Balance Dassler. Why no wraiths? Well, if this is the house of nerds, magi pulverise ghosts. Granted, they also pulverise skeletons, but at least skeletons have health.

Nice flavour touch - it's night-time the entire map.

Prowl: Continued.

What feels like months later, we're here, striking distance, sort of, not really. Undead are slow and, guess what, the next map probably discourages ghosts, so. Wesnoth has no danger mode button, so I wind up having to invent my own. I still fuck up repeatedly, thanks in no small part to the fact that they'll spot you if you even, say, detour into a clearing they can see, which the automatic movement likes to do.

So there's a general somewhere in here.

We overwhelm the northern guards without much trouble, but there's a red mage in the wings. Not just fire damage, but neutral, too.

It's a clusterfuck.

But it's our clusterfuck and oooh who's that

Welcome to Shadow+. Slightly better numbers, vastly cooler aesthetic.

We wind up having to rewind a turn because the necrophage goes down in a hail of swords, and I'm not taking a death when we aren't reinforced next map. That makes the margin of error this map so fucking small.

oh no
it's been activated

On the bright side, I accidentally move New Balance onto the fire and it looks really cool.

But no, look up from there-

EUGH

EUGH

EUGH.

Weird dinky little mission. Actually pretty good in a vaccuum. But we'll see how good our unit choice was next map...

 

[BrightBow]

Oddly enough you only ever get attacked from enemies that can see you. So that "alarm" doesn't seem to actually matter and you can just punch straight through the base without any real resistance.

Btw, do you know you can show all enemy movement ranges at once by pressing Strg+v?

[Parrhesia]

Huh, TIL. That... pretty much handles my one gripe with the mission. Thanks.

[epilepsyduck]

I love that wonderfully blocky "manor" you have to get to. Indoor areas in Wesnoth always end up looking kinda silly, especially when they're just one part of an otherwise-outdoor map.

[BrightBow]

It's not THAT useful unfortunately. The enemy ranges will disappear the moment you hover over one of your own units.

Btw, I'm surprised you didn't someone a bat to help you scout. Sure, they wouldn't be of any help in combat. But they can see further then ghosts and their sight is even less impaired by terrain.

[Parrhesia]

It would've been useful for this mission, but would have been a total liability for the next (the next two, as it happens). I might've summoned Six/Cicero if one was still alive.

Happily, the next mission is actually good.

[Punished Dayni]

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

EUGH.

Never forget.

Because how could you?

[Integrity]

On 4/1/2019 at 10:06 AM, Dayni said:

Never forget.

Because how could you?

even if you wanted to.........

 

(i'm still alive btw, life's been as life does)

[Parrhesia]

FIFTY DESCENT 8 + 9

Spoiler

What a lovely little kill-team we have here.

Straightforward.

My prediction was right.

This is a tiny map. I'm guessing it's like an arena. Oh, but who's that funny little guy there?

Tragically, you can't train fencers in any of the myriad loyalist campaigns. That said, they're fun light infantry - no ranged weapon, but all the same negative resistances and huge dodges as, say, footpads. Footpad damage is chip damage at all ranges - fencers can shred light targets. Oh, and unlike footpads, they skirmish - they ignore ZoC, which is fucking amazing.

I like this room a little more, but I still think we can kill all these wizards, and the fencer is basically harmless unless he gets among our wizards.

Just so.

Aaaaand... no liches this campaign except almost definitely Malin himself in future. Damn. Ah well.

The fencer hilariously fails to dodge any of the 40%s coming his way and almost disembowels himself on Darken's staff.

That said, Nabrit does wind up clumsily opening the next door. Darken and Malin scramble to facetank - Darken ain't looking so hot.

I try and feed the kill to Nabrit's knife, fail, and wind up getting Ali just two levels worth of kills from draug status.

There's a new pokemon at the end of this hallway.

Probably the most Endgame Dark Souls PC aesthetic of any class, halberdiers are tier 3 pikemen. They don't get the 6 movement of royal guards, but they add a viciously powerful blade to their main pierce attack for a bit more versatility. That's really handy, because pierce is very feast-or-famine and blade's very reliable. And they still have the 40% pierce resist of pikemen. I still prefer royal guards, but halberds are great.

Things. Escalate. They involve doors and my reckless overconfidence.

I decide to go back a couple of turns and open fewer doors. I don't even need experience at this stage.

Let's try that again with a more confident breach.

Here's me making sacrifices for you.

We clear things out.

i totally forgot my draug wtf i normally mash n to end every turn wtf

I bust open a door to confirm a dead end, then reload. Cheap, you could argue. Time-saving, I argue.

ALI BOMAYE

Anticlimactically, he's just sort of there in the next door.

The tier 4 fire magi. They can fuck you up, and don't take your eye off that 65 HP, either; they take some killing.

A cool little detail is mage resistance. Humans by default have 20% arcane resist and 0% everything else. But red magi pick up 10% fire resist, as well; arches 20%, and greats 30%. Meanwhile, white magi have 40% arcane resist, and magi of light, 60%. Silvers get 50% cold and fire.

The campaign ends here as Malin blows both his shots and gets blasted away for four hits.

Let's try that again, and then miss an improbable number of hits, leaving Malin to sneak one between the ribs.

Much more in-character.

I kind of rush and botch the breach up north.

You're welcome.

No end-screen regarding our finance, I guess since it's 0 anyway.

Easily the best chapter of Descent so far, which is saying exactly nothing.

THE NEXT CHAPTER WINDS UP BEING REALLY SHORT SO HERE IT IS

Oh. So. Imagine if we'd actually taken losses last mission. Well, we have Darken's boys along for the ride this time. I'm not going to intro the banebow yet because it's not fair that it's anyone but James Nabrit who is literally at 79/80 XP, come ON.

I guess I forgot to take a picture of the objectives? It's just to find the book and not lose Malin or Darken or time out.

All ghost art is good. Spectres... probably have it best. They're tier 3 wraiths, you probably guessed.

There was a mage here. He was. Removed. Oh, also the pikeman here is called Guard - as were the soldiers in the manor - but the magi are called... Guardian. The magi in the manor just had, uh, names. Descent is weird!

Looks like Volk's gotten logjammed.

Malin gets his 'tier' '4' after stabbing this wizard. The banebow finishes the job.

That there is a The Book.

HAH 
FINALLY
GLORY TO JAMES NESBIT or whatever his name is

The green brigade steals the EXP but they won't have the book!

There... is?

Oh, that cellar. Of course.

 

[BrightBow]

The positions of the enemies in the manor are actually random. Including the position of the Great Mage that you have to kill.

And you managed to get the book before Darken on the first try. Neat. If Darken does get it first, he won't tell you about the exit. And if he gets to the exit first, he'll blow up the tunnel and you lose.

Edited April 3, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

2 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Tragically, you can't train fencers in any of the myriad loyalist campaigns. That said, they're fun light infantry - no ranged weapon, but all the same negative resistances and huge dodges as, say, footpads. Footpad damage is chip damage at all ranges - fencers can shred light targets. Oh, and unlike footpads, they skirmish - they ignore ZoC, which is fucking amazing.

Ah yes, the unit most suited to dealing death by a thousand cuts.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Probably the most Endgame Dark Souls PC aesthetic of any class, halberdiers are tier 3 pikemen. They don't get the 6 movement of royal guards, but they add a viciously powerful blade to their main pierce attack for a bit more versatility. That's really handy, because pierce is very feast-or-famine and blade's very reliable. And they still have the 40% pierce resist of pikemen. I still prefer royal guards, but halberds are great.

It's still a shame how Pierce kind of feels limited, but Halberds are powerful.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

The tier 4 fire magi. They can fuck you up, and don't take your eye off that 65 HP, either; they take some killing.

A cool little detail is mage resistance. Humans by default have 20% arcane resist and 0% everything else. But red magi pick up 10% fire resist, as well; arches 20%, and greats 30%. Meanwhile, white magi have 40% arcane resist, and magi of light, 60%. Silvers get 50% cold and fire.

Fire++.

For when you need more fire.

(Also, those resistances are neat, does help compensate the others somewhat for not having so much fire (And really helps Magi of Light with that counter-dark role.)

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

All ghost art is good. Spectres... probably have it best. They're tier 3 wraiths, you probably guessed.

The harbinger? I'm pretty sure I'd be terrified if it was the only thing coming!

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Malin gets his 'tier' '4' after stabbing this wizard. The banebow finishes the job.

T3+1?

1 hour ago, BrightBow said:

And you managed to get the book before Darken on the first try. Neat. If Darken does get it first, he won't tell you about the exit. And if he gets to the exit first, he'll blow up the tunnel and you lose.

It's almost like the necromancer shouldn't be trusted.

[BrightBow]

3 minutes ago, Dayni said:

It's almost like the necromancer shouldn't be trusted.

If you can't trust people with the "loyal" trait, who can you trust?

[Integrity]

On 4/3/2019 at 6:54 AM, BrightBow said:

If you can't trust people with the "loyal" trait, who can you trust?

me

 

new post who dis

Spoiler

We're off to the Bay of Pigs Pearls!

 

I really like this line. It feels like Konrad is admiring the orcish Nazi-war-crime forced labor camps. 'Damn! They've got the submarinehumans working hard!'

 

Delfador is gone.

 

Bay of Pearls is an... odd mission.

 

I don't have a battle plan because it's incredibly obvious. I am going to recruit 3 units per turn and send them directly east. You can't tell from the map, but I'm going to recruit mermen from those weird looking hexes and send them to recruit more mermen and open a water front.

 

Three units per turn.

Three.

 

We grab our first merman in the strait. You're now looking at his bronze nipple. Hope this helps!

 

Our first merman moves immediately and grabs our second merman.

 

Our second merman runs and grabs our third and fourth mermen. I feel like this wasn't really planned out well.

 

The opposition show different recruiting priorities. Right recruits traditional orc units: wolves, orcs, trolls, etc. Left recruits a new caste of dudes, naga, and also bats, to do battle on the open sea.

 

Naga are weird. They're neutral alignment, and 4x4 blade is nowhere near enough, but somehow they cause enough consistent damage to be threats, and their defense is good enough on land. I rate them, but I don't really know why.

 

This is also one of the few occurrences of loyal enemy units, for whatever it's worth.

 

Also, this.... happens. Arguably.

 

Anyway, we ignore whatever that is and get stuck in on sea warfare, which is kind of miserable. We do more damage per hit with fewer hits and constrained by time of day; they do less damage per hit but with more hits and no time of day restriction. Wesnoth aquatic warfare honestly just sucks, no matter which side you're on. Hit rates are only between 50 and 30%, so even when you have the advantage you often feel like you're just being fucked.

 

Anyway, we stop ignoring it and this... happens, arguably.

 

It's hard to overstate how much this drags out of the established tone of Heir to the Throne. This is a horrible attempt at comedy. Let's pretend it never happened.

 

Our front line is absolutely fucked by, you know, forcing all our boys to cross a strait to get to relevant points, and also being recruited three at a time. The mermen are just embroiled.

 

We still manage to set up... something of a line. Give or take.

 

Instead of using horsemen as the linesmen, we pull back into a defensive posture. Still almost lose Laura, but that's life.

 

The loyal mage promotes finally, replacing our lack of healer.

 

We end up pretty well but what the fuck this troll.

 

Promoted horsemen in the daylight are terrifying. This guy has the only two traits that increase HP, and he survives being oneshot by One.

 

It's quickly become a rout.

 

I do take one guy Lancer as BM, mostly.

 

Anyway, Jim Carrey's comedy is gone.

 

Fuck off, Wesnoth.

 

The state of things is quite good, now. The water war is stable, the land war is a rout. I lost one loyal merman to seven consecutive 50%s landing, but what the hell! that's RNG! That's only got an 0.7% chance of happening! Haha!

 

We respond by pushing into the land to fuck with the boss.

 

It's my island now. Fuck you.

 

We even accidentally aggro one of the loyal naga! Sweet. That makes everything easier.

 

Unrelatedly, on the safe front, I put a fighter in the water, and he gets one-rounded under absolutely no pressure. Rest in peace.

 

f, one massively improbably, one my own damn fault

 

The marines land on the island and lock down the boss of the west so I can stall for some other objectives.

 

Notably, this cage behind a promoted naga.

 

Naga warriors are naga, but bigger.

 

We killn't him, thanks to it being deep dark, but pin him in.

 

The next turn we fuck him up and free the last mermen, including the mermage.

 

She's got a branched promotion! She's definitely a healer, but doesn't heal yet. Initiates are awful. Their promotions are not.

 

There's also an ambient trident up to the north we swim up to!

 

I'll spoil it: I do savescum after finding out this grants a permanent cross-map ranged attack to the grabber and grab it on a regular merman instead.

 

hnnnnnggggh

 

Disclosure.

 

"noble"

welcome back, fuck off

It's a route split! This is a ....transparently 'the easy way' - 'the hard way' split, but it doesn't tell you which is which. We'll do both, of course.

 

No matter what you pick, Delf says this.

 

 

[Parrhesia]

The sea orc is a shitty reskin of the old orc archer model. Then the archer got prettied up and, frankly, who could be fucked to update the sea orc? Given the... glacial pace of Wesnoth sprite updates in general.

[epilepsyduck]

I swear I remember female Naga sprites having Snake Tiddies at some point, so it's nice to see that hasn't been maintained.

God the Sea Orc... "skit," I guess, was infinitely more embarrassing then I remember it being.

[Punished Dayni]

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

Naga are weird. They're neutral alignment, and 4x4 blade is nowhere near enough, but somehow they cause enough consistent damage to be threats, and their defense is good enough on land. I rate them, but I don't really know why.

Nagas: Why do they hit relatively consistently?

It really does feel weird that something that tops 16 damage can be actually decent, doesn't it?

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

It's hard to overstate how much this drags out of the established tone of Heir to the Throne. This is a horrible attempt at comedy. Let's pretend it never happened.

Let it go to the sea.

It'll drown there, as intended.

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

Naga warriors are naga, but bigger.

Naga+.

Yeah, this can be a bit concerning. Do we get to use these in any campaign? I think not.

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

She's got a branched promotion! She's definitely a healer, but doesn't heal yet. Initiates are awful. Their promotions are not.

Not thw worst magic damage, but certainly not reliable.

Least their promotion has light magic options.

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

I'll spoil it: I do savescum after finding out this grants a permanent cross-map ranged attack to the grabber and grab it on a regular merman instead.

I don't blame you.

This thing's great if you're willing to recall merfolk.

5 hours ago, Integrity said:

It's a route split! This is a ....transparently 'the easy way' - 'the hard way' split, but it doesn't tell you which is which. We'll do both, of course.

Once again, my offer stands.

Edited April 5, 2019 by Dayni

[Parrhesia]

DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WAS GOOD FOR A COUPLE OF MAPS. WASN'T THAT NICE? ANYWAY, HAVE YOU HEARD OF A CONCEPT CALLED 'REVERSION TO THE MEAN'? IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT- GODDAMMIT, MY PHRASING IS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A PREQUEL MEME, I SWEAR THAT'S NOT WHERE THIS IS GOING. BUT LIKE. IT'S NOT OFTEN SOMETHING PEOPLE THINK ABOUT, BECAUSE IT JUST FEELS UGLY AND RANDOM, AND PEOPLE WANT TO THINK, LIKE, 'OH SOLSKJAER IS A GOOD MANAGER BECAUSE MAN UNITED AREN'T TERRIBLE SUDDENLY', AND ABSOLUTELY THAT IS PARTIALLY THE CASE BUT A LOT OF THE TIME IT'S JUST US ATTACHING NARRATIVES TO STATISTICS, AND UNFORTUNATELY THERE WILL NOT BE A SUSTAINED UPTURN HERE. DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WILL CONTINUE TO BE BAD STARTING WITH THIS MAP, LIKE WHAT HAS COME BEFORE. EVEN CENTRAL COAST GOT A COUPLE WINS THIS SEASON. IT DOES NOT MEAN SHIT IN THE LONG-TERM, THEY ARE BAD AND ALEN STAJCIC IS PROBABLY A FRAUD 10

Spoiler

Okay. You've all read a book before. And from this title, this is absolutely gonna be when Darken Volk was only using us for the book in the first place.

malin mate you don't look too hot

Well. That was easy.

So in Wesnoth, intelligence reduces the amount of XP you need to level up. Malin has always needed a fuckton of XP to level up. This backs up the story in which Malin is a fucking dumbass inbred incel.

Well, he yeets to his side of the map, and we to ours.

I recruit three vampire bats and recall all the tier 3s, plus the other wraith. Also here's the banebow I forgot to bestiary last map, since we have James Nabrit back. One factor of Skeleton Excellence according to Skeleton Science is that the best skeletons go "nngaaAAaaghhH!" Banebows absolutely make that sound. They're still remarkably terrible in melee, in exchange for hard-countering other archers (besides orcs). They also have really satisfying bows in their sprites. Bow design is often the weak point of Wesnoth sprites. Not here.

He runs out of cash after two full barracks, too.

Malin starts screaming at the bat he's about to try and vapourise.

This is the high-power necromancy equivalent of a drunken parent and equally drunken kid having it out in an alleyway after dark.

This is the final individual frame of the ghast attack I feel obligated to make.

If you've been wondering what the point in the vastly weaker shadow waves is, look no further. The undead laugh at cold and implode against arcane.

I don't like fighting without a disposable crumple zone. I guess in this case it's the bats. And the zombie that I forgot to move since creation because he was hidden behind a tree.

That zombie spends his life doing... this, I guess.

In the south, spectre!

In the north, spectre! Also, this fight is progressing... slowly. Undead mirror is like, enforced hammer (your dark adepts) and anvil (your everything else).

And the adepts aren't much of a hammer in the day. Tier 1 is tier 1.

Oh, fuck, it's the cops!

Paladins! I. Adore. Paladins. Especially when they're yours in campaigns that are 'good' versus undead where you don't have a lot of impact or arcane, looking at you, Heir to the Throne. Note their swords are arcane. Oh, and they heal. They're fast, too - or, rather, Grand Knights LOSE a point of movement. In exchange for all this, their lance is now very much a secondary weapon, just 1 per attack better than the knight's.

I click through it reflexively, but when first engaging Volk, Malin says he will pay for 'all he has done'.

Well.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I like a lot that Darken Volk WASN'T using Malin. Because it's a really stupid waste of time to train a guy over the course of a year for One Heist, even if it's a big heist.

So now we have to capture the book and bring it home. Unfortunately, we don't really have a choice - we have to kill the paladins chasing us.

I'm. Not gonna lie. This takes a couple of saves, because I can't position myself in this state to not be in a position to potentially lose a guy. Even this was more than a coinflip worth of our necro dying.

For all that, killing them both in the day is impossible without our banebow here.

Let's try again, this time attempting to use our resources to find a solution rather than cheating.

Much better. Banebow still out of range, but there's only one guy here.

After some finagling, we reach this semi-acceptable board-state.

I miss when this map wasn't insanely shitty.

She brings out two thugs, two spears and two longbows.

This sucks. Wave goodbye to the Incident.

This fucking sucks. Also I forgot to pick up the book. I am save-scumming unapologetically.

???

Nabrit sinks 63 fatal damage into this paladin. In the north, Puma survives through an absolute fluke, dodging 4/6 70% magic and 4/4 60% spears - that isn't something I savescummed for, I was prepared to weather another death or two at this point.

It looks like Collins is gonna make it, too.

Ughhhh.

 

Edited April 5, 2019 by Parrhesia

[Integrity]

1 minute ago, Parrhesia said:

DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WAS GOOD FOR A COUPLE OF MAPS. WASN'T THAT NICE? ANYWAY, HAVE YOU HEARD OF A CONCEPT CALLED 'REVERSION TO THE MEAN'? IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT- GODDAMMIT, MY PHRASING IS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A PREQUEL MEME, I SWEAR THAT'S NOT WHERE THIS IS GOING. BUT LIKE. IT'S NOT OFTEN SOMETHING PEOPLE THINK ABOUT, BECAUSE IT JUST FEELS UGLY AND RANDOM, AND PEOPLE WANT TO THINK, LIKE, 'OH SOLSKJAER IS A GOOD MANAGER BECAUSE MAN UNITED AREN'T TERRIBLE SUDDENLY', AND ABSOLUTELY THAT IS PARTIALLY THE CASE BUT A LOT OF THE TIME IT'S JUST US ATTACHING NARRATIVES TO STATISTICS, AND UNFORTUNATELY THERE WILL NOT BE A SUSTAINED UPTURN HERE. DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WILL CONTINUE TO BE BAD STARTING WITH THIS MAP, LIKE WHAT HAS COME BEFORE. EVEN CENTRAL COAST GOT A COUPLE WINS THIS SEASON. IT DOES NOT MEAN SHIT IN THE LONG-TERM, THEY ARE BAD 10

are you ok

[Parrhesia]

no

[BrightBow]

Guess Malin isn't the only one descending into darkness.

Anyway, this is definitely my favorite "good luck trying to beat this on your first try" map. The two new challengers have massive base income too. So I doubt it's feasible to push back against them.

Fortunately Necromancers aren't the only undead units with Arcane. The melee attacks of the Ghost line are arcane too. So some promoted ghosts can really cause some damage here, even if their life absorb doesn't work against fellow undead.

 

I'm not sure that this wasn't meant to be an elaborate, nonsensical scheme by Darken. But either way no one forced Malin to do what he did. Just because some people in Parthyn were supposedly mean to him, he was willing to murder his way through an entirely unrelated town. Malin is a massive pile of shit.

Edited April 5, 2019 by BrightBow

[Punished Dayni]

24 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

malin mate you don't look too hot

What does Darken Volk use to not look worse over tim- Actually, you know what, I don't want to know.

26 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

I recruit three vampire bats and recall all the tier 3s, plus the other wraith. Also here's the banebow I forgot to bestiary last map, since we have James Nabrit back. One factor of Skeleton Excellence according to Skeleton Science is that the best skeletons go "nngaaAAaaghhH!" Banebows absolutely make that sound. They're still remarkably terrible in melee, in exchange for hard-countering other archers (besides orcs). They also have really satisfying bows in their sprites. Bow design is often the weak point of Wesnoth sprites. Not here.

42 ranged damage. Banebows are appropriately terrifying.

Isn't it strange that skeletons are able to make mouth noises when you think about it? I mean, magic maybe, but it seems like an unnecessary detail.

27 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Malin starts screaming at the bat he's about to try and vapourise.

"Jeez Orcist, you could just take your rage out on them as you seem to want, but no I'm the bad guy."

Maybe Darken would feel more like the villain here if he did more than just take the books he'd been working an awfully longer time to get. Maybe the point is that Malin is being corrupted by necromancy, but that still doesn't deal with how he was early on.

28 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Oh, fuck, it's the cops!

It's the fuzz!

(Be thankful I didn't pick the 1-hour version)

30 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Paladins! I. Adore. Paladins. Especially when they're yours in campaigns that are 'good' versus undead where you don't have a lot of impact or arcane, looking at you, Heir to the Throne. Note their swords are arcane. Oh, and they heal. They're fast, too - or, rather, Grand Knights LOSE a point of movement. In exchange for all this, their lance is now very much a secondary weapon, just 1 per attack better than the knight's.

Paladins: Man I wish I had a bunch of these for the undead maps.

I would not have enough. Thankfully, Mages of Light exist.

Still like Great Knight a bit more, but Paladins are all kinds of neat.

30 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I like a lot that Darken Volk WASN'T using Malin. Because it's a really stupid waste of time to train a guy over the course of a year for One Heist, even if it's a big heist.

I mean, Malin seems like he's just a self-centred guy who assumes everyone treats him terribly. It really could be either way here. In some ways, I'm not so different and that's fucking horrifying.

It's not like Darken was having him as a long term apprentice, but that's more because he didn't really care what Malin did once their partnership ended so long as they left with him having The Book. He still used him, but not as a disposable flunky so much as his protege he didn't have to care about after a year. Well, we all saw how that went, silly Darken.

31 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

This sucks. Wave goodbye to the Incident.

The only incident we'll have is that it died.

32 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WAS GOOD FOR A COUPLE OF MAPS. WASN'T THAT NICE? ANYWAY, HAVE YOU HEARD OF A CONCEPT CALLED 'REVERSION TO THE MEAN'? IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT- GODDAMMIT, MY PHRASING IS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A PREQUEL MEME, I SWEAR THAT'S NOT WHERE THIS IS GOING. BUT LIKE. IT'S NOT OFTEN SOMETHING PEOPLE THINK ABOUT, BECAUSE IT JUST FEELS UGLY AND RANDOM, AND PEOPLE WANT TO THINK, LIKE, 'OH SOLSKJAER IS A GOOD MANAGER BECAUSE MAN UNITED AREN'T TERRIBLE SUDDENLY', AND ABSOLUTELY THAT IS PARTIALLY THE CASE BUT A LOT OF THE TIME IT'S JUST US ATTACHING NARRATIVES TO STATISTICS, AND UNFORTUNATELY THERE WILL NOT BE A SUSTAINED UPTURN HERE. DESCENT INTO DARKNESS WILL CONTINUE TO BE BAD STARTING WITH THIS MAP, LIKE WHAT HAS COME BEFORE. EVEN CENTRAL COAST GOT A COUPLE WINS THIS SEASON. IT DOES NOT MEAN SHIT IN THE LONG-TERM, THEY ARE BAD AND ALEN STAJCIC IS PROBABLY A FRAUD 10

Shit, I guess not much is going well.

And having to look at Malin Keshar isn't making it better.

Sorry mate.

[Integrity]

look forward to seeing buttloads of paladins in later HttT

 

Spoiler

Let's take the land route!

oh no

 

While there are multiple zombie types in the game, elves are not distinct from humans. Now you know!

 

Wesnoth knows this is the easy route.

 

Anyway, Scott wasn't joking.

 

This is absolutely a valid win. It takes about six turns.

 

We are strong men of war, though, and will be doing something approximately more like this. Muff Malal shits out infinite zombies and some dark adepts, so it will be a rush to favorable terrain that we'll win, then we just push through bit by bit. Note that his zombies are Tier 0 (i.e. no upkeep) and he starts with the entire map, so he can make shitloads of them.

 

It's worth noting that you get a massive turn limit, so you can actually just farm this for a long time. We're going for the quick clear, since this is non-canon.

 

There is a front line immaculately suited to this, in fact. Swamps and coast for the folk, hills for the humans, fuckall for the elves.

 

Bonk.

 

Even in the dark, we can still sweep them aside.

 

We're really just stalling for daylight.

 

This map is ridiculously easy. That was a solid push using almost all lawful units in full dark.

 

Scott kills too many dudes in one turn and nearly dies for it.

 

Anyway, it's dawn now.

 

The boss comes out to play, nearly skewering a horseman.

 

It's a good time to be a horseman, incidentally.

 

A really good time.

 

That's it for the bitch chapter. But what if...?

Spoiler

That's three islands.

 

Bandits!

 

Alright. This map fucking sucks.

 

First things first, we can only recall merfolk.

 

Second things second, we can only recruit merfolk and !!crime!!

 

Third things third, we're up against two liches, and our merfolk do primarily piercing damage.

And fourth things last, there's a side objective. See, one of those three temples randomly has a special unit! If you recruit him and kill both liches, he joins you permanently. However, you have to kill two liches, in 26 turns, on a huge map, where your center of recruitment is in BFE.

To compensate, our battle plan is thus: Konrad and a small squad of crime will go west, where the crime will distract the undead while Konrad, God willing, gets the hero to come help. As many merfolk as I can recall will wolfpack up and try to cut off the blue undead in the straits/swamps to the south. Konrad and his squad should be able to easily handle their lich in the daytime. The merfolk....? Prayer.

 

I brain fart completely and send a merman to the middle of nowhere. Oh, I also won't remember to recall the initiate! Cheers, Ike, good one.

 

The first engagement is going to be a dark adept getting shredded by men with clubs.

 

Merman suffer horribly in the dark. Under few circumstances are they good, per se, but...

 

Day breaks and finds us pretty settled in the north.  It won't take much Applied Guy to crush what's there, and blue only got one reinforcement in.

 

I spoke too soon. Konrad's broken free, though.

 

The south is going okay. Mermen killing skeletons is.... a faint proposition, except in the daytime.

 

One lucky thug is turning the north into a decent show.

 

The other thug took way more damage, but manages to promote, critically freeing Konrad.

 

Incidentally, the other two temples have, randomly, an enemy ambush spawn and nothing. So!

 

Never in doubt.

 

At least the game doesn't hide his recruitment criterion. Anyway, Moremirmu is a white mage!

 

With the critical difference being instead of a dinky staff he has a paladin sword.

 

Our heroic thugs have actually cleaned up the north. It's going to be a running fight to the boss.

 

Our heroic merfolk have blockaded the south and stopped most of his flow of gold. How to deal with the lich, now...?

 

Mormi still brings with him all the anti-undead impact of what you'd expect. Christ, those numbers.

 

This genius skeleton is refusing to get stuck in.

 

The north lich is also refusing to play ball. It's fine.

 

The south lich stops not playing! Which sucks! There's no way we can kill him here.

 

The north lich also comes out.

 

Y E E T

 

Konrad gets the kill.

 

The south becomes a standoff. I cannot kill him in the dark.

 

In retrospect, I really should have consolidated the merfolk sooner. Time is starting to look a bit short - this is around turn 20 of 26.

 

Time to push in.

 

I do not think liches are well designed to be as recurring as they are as bosses. I have one more card to play before I have to just merfolk wave him to death, though.

 

YOU LEGEND

 

YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING BEAUTY

 

GET THE FUCK IN

 

AHHHH

 

I missed a screenshot, Scott sailed in and was like KONRAD MILORD WE FOUND YOU

Bad news: you don't retain the ability to recruit criminals after this mission.

Good news: you can recall everyone you recruited, and I grabbed an extra wave of poachers and thugs right at the end.

 

[Parrhesia]

hhnnnGNNh konrad i'm TRYING to cleanse this island but i'm DUMMY THICC and the clap of my asscheeks keeps waking the dead

Edited April 5, 2019 by Parrhesia