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Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth


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27 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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hhnnnGNNh konrad i'm TRYING to cleanse this island but i'm DUMMY THICC and the clap of my asscheeks keeps waking the dead

i would pin this were it possible

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100 gold, 2 Liches and 26 turns. A really fun one. They really make you cut steak with a plastic spoon here too. At least I don't see how one could get a large enough force one the field without recalling all those loyal Mermen from the last map.

And fortunately you found Moremirmu on the first try. With that turn limit, one really doesn't need that lv2 Revenant and his buddies in their lives.

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49 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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While there are multiple zombie types in the game, elves are not distinct from humans. Now you know!

I mean, I'm finding the fact his name's Muff more of a distraction than his being a roadblock.

49 minutes ago, Integrity said:

It's worth noting that you get a massive turn limit, so you can actually just farm this for a long time. We're going for the quick clear, since this is non-canon.

Wait, you're going for the other map as canon?

51 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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That's three islands.

They land on one of them though.

52 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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Third things third, we're up against two liches, and our merfolk do primarily piercing damage.

And fourth things last, there's a side objective. See, one of those three temples randomly has a special unit! If you recruit him and kill both liches, he joins you permanently. However, you have to kill two liches, in 26 turns, on a huge map, where your center of recruitment is in BFE.

To compensate, our battle plan is thus: Konrad and a small squad of crime will go west, where the crime will distract the undead while Konrad, God willing, gets the hero to come help. As many merfolk as I can recall will wolfpack up and try to cut off the blue undead in the straits/swamps to the south. Konrad and his squad should be able to easily handle their lich in the daytime. The merfolk....? Prayer.

That's some luck needed.

53 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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With the critical difference being instead of a dinky staff he has a paladin sword.

Because sometimes you have to take slaying seriously.

Both ranges arcane. That's quite nice.

54 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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Y E E T

That's the way the Lichy crumbles I guess.

55 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING BEAUTY

I mean, I don't like him, but I guess I have to respect the Lichbane Tony Abbott.

55 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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GET THE FUCK IN

PERFECT

55 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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Bad news: you don't retain the ability to recruit criminals after this mission.

Good news: you can recall everyone you recruited, and I grabbed an extra wave of poachers and thugs right at the end.

Man I was a bitch to not go for this chapter after all.

43 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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hhnnnGNNh konrad i'm TRYING to cleanse this island but i'm DUMMY THICC and the clap of my asscheeks keeps waking the dead

That's Thiccman for you.

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2 hours ago, Dayni said:

That's some luck needed.

zooming in on one thing: it absolutely is. ignoring my obscene good fortune/foresight sending prime minister abbott down there, the literal best you can conjure up attacking that lich with only merfolk is that mer warriors are the minimum to not heal him on average more than they damage him in neutral light, and you literally have to land both trident strikes and a double from your initiate to get him down to where a warrior can finish him. liches are awful boss design.

 

we're not half done with them!

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4 hours ago, Integrity said:

we're not half done with them!

Fucking nope, we are not.

There's a chapter which is much improved by your choice here, hence why I assume you went with that one. I did it after the other route.

Just, it was a shitfest.

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DARK DESCENT 11

Spoiler

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are we going to fucking parthyn again

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TITLE DROP

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Technically lich is still a tier 3, just- nevermind.

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Puma attacks and kills Malin. It's cool and thematic that he's a spectre, and it's the really cool scythe animation. Maybe a little less cool were he a nightgaunt, which has no animations.

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Mal Keshar. MAL Keshar. I've had a bet going this whole time that Malin would be shortened to Mal to become the origin story for why all the HTTH-era liches are Mal something, and guess which bitch won? Except Ike agreed with me, but whatever. I guess it's also possible that it's just a coincidence, but that'd be so shitty, so ... on-brand.

Also, note; his XP bar is blue. When you run out of advancements, it's purple. Does Keshar promote into Ancient Lich? Hitting his description just takes you to the regular Lich page, not a variant like, say, our dark sorcerers that can only promote to necromancer.

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Alright. This could be a good mission.

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We find a rat. I guess we're going full Nosferatu-bloodline. I always preferred Toreador myself.

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Rats are terrible at fighting, but adorable.

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A bat sideswipes us and gets annihilated.

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And again. And again, actually, this EP. We also deathtouched the rat.

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We kill some more rodents, and find a base up ahead. I guess the object of the mission is probably to get to 60 HP?

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I am immediately wrong.

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We get the boys together, plus a bone shooter, Go-Sai. Collins might have been a mistake, given that necromancers move slowly in caves with their meat legs, but her DPS is massive. Draugs would trade poorly with armoured trolls. The Incident would've been perfect, but, well...

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Promoted ghosts are vicious.

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Hitch up north.

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The troll art is all really good. Anyway, for variety's sake in fighting torlls, shamans are a thing. They throw fire. Not very... well. Compare 7x2 / 7x3 to a tier 1 elven archer's 5x2 / 5x4. Even so, chaotic fire at night is no joke.

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Even so, he brought a knife to rocket tag.

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This map is all about drain - not just on Malin, but especially spectres. This whelp is basically a blood factory.

Hey, that's another thing about names in this campaign sucking. Malin Keshar is such an obvious bad guy name, but especially for some wall-eyed hick. The most powerful sorcerer in the Black Company series is literally called Seth Chalk, and he has a professional wizard name to go by while doing professional wizard business. This campaign would be so much better if it was the adventures of Mike Stubbs and his metamorphosis into Mal-Stubbs.

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Cave segment: cleared.

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And another.

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So let's just break this open. Also, the shaman lands all his 70%s and almost kills Adi... and then a troll blunders in to try and finish the job, and Adi drains himself back to 27/33 HP.

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A better view of the cave, with two new pokemon to observe.

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Their leader is a troll hero - basically a fluff unit. They're trolls that hit three slightly weaker times instead of two.

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Rocklobbers, meanwhile, are the other promotion option from whelps. You sacrifice 8 potential melee damage, 6 health and a tier 3 promotion for a big ranged attack. That's a pretty decent trade, but I'm not that fond of them. Ike is, because he likes generalists and I prefer specialists.

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The nightgaunt has some terrible opening luck and then dodges... uh... everything. I'm a little too optimistic about their durability, given they don't drain.

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He eats this guy to 'promote' and get a full heal, anyway.

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We mop up.

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The map ends abruptly, and promisingly, with the death of the troll hero. After maps of famine, we're now abruptly back to feast.

 

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3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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are we going to fucking parthyn again

It would be something I'd expe-

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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I guess not.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Mal Keshar. MAL Keshar. I've had a bet going this whole time that Malin would be shortened to Mal to become the origin story for why all the HTTH-era liches are Mal something, and guess which bitch won? Except Ike agreed with me, but whatever. I guess it's also possible that it's just a coincidence, but that'd be so shitty, so ... on-brand.

Also, note; his XP bar is blue. When you run out of advancements, it's purple. Does Keshar promote into Ancient Lich? Hitting his description just takes you to the regular Lich page, not a variant like, say, our dark sorcerers that can only promote to necromancer.

These weak ass liches, wanting to follow the example of this snivelling git.

And of course he gets good art as a lich.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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The troll art is all really good. Anyway, for variety's sake in fighting torlls, shamans are a thing. They throw fire. Not very... well. Compare 7x2 / 7x3 to a tier 1 elven archer's 5x2 / 5x4. Even so, chaotic fire at night is no joke.

It's a shame that there's a lot of neat classes that are locked to campaigns.

I don't think this is amazing, but this could have been neat for trolls to access.

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Their leader is a troll hero - basically a fluff unit. They're trolls that hit three slightly weaker times instead of two.

Once again, "Why many hits when big hit do?"

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This is the map that broke my neck on my first run since I didn't have any veteran ghosts. Fighting trolls with only skeletons is no fun.

I got my ass kicked by the rats too. I barely gained any health, even though the game is scripted to have Malin land all of this attacks for the first few turns. On my second run I simply waited for like 30 turns until he was fully healed.

Edited by BrightBow
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DESCENT INTO IT'S FINALLY FUCKING OVER 12

Sorry, I lost track of my schedule somewhat...

Spoiler

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So, basically, 'Mal keeps fucking losing'.

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Too late for Collins :(

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Anyway, a guy called Foolish Hero rocks up and says a line I accidentally click through.

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Or... not too late?

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I appeal to authority. It's decided. So Fetch Collins becomes a bonelord. Isn't part of my opening thrust, though. We have a shitton of money and I want my first recruits to be one bat to get a far east village and a bunch of skeletons.

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There is absolutely no fanfare. Also, Douglas MacArthur is probably the most notable name on the list of 5/4 deaths, but FUCK HIM, he's a fat cunt and a loser bitch. He doesn't get a skeleton.

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I don't trust the mission, so I've tried to compromise. A bunch of fresh skeletons, the two bone shooters, Puma, New Balance and So Fetch will take this on. The dark adept is a half-promoted veteran of a prior mission. We have 277 banked, and are haemorrhaging 12 a turn.

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Is this... it?

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Reminder: it's night. Endlessly.

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It absolutely cannot be this easy.

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No way in FUCK-

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...
?

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uh?

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For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is Malin Keshar? This is Malin Keshar speaking. I am the skeleton who loves his life. I am the skeleton who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the skeleton who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are perishing - you who dread knowledge - I am the skeleton who will now tell you.

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You have heard it said that this is an age of moral crisis. You have said it yourself, half in fear, half in hope that the words had no meaning. You have cried that man’s sins are destroying the world and you have made fun of my wall-eye and stupid hick accent. Since virtue, to you, consists of sacrifice, you have demanded more sacrifices at every successive disaster. In the name of a return to morality, you have sacrificed all those evils which you held as the cause of your plight. You have sacrificed grunts to mercy. You have sacrificed archers to unity. You have sacrificed goblins to faith. You have sacrificed riders to need. You have sacrificed trolls to self-denial. You have sacrificed assassins to duty.

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You have destroyed all that which you held to be evil and managed to produce full barracks of tier 2 units. Why, then, do you shrink in horror from the sight of the cave around you? The cave is not the product of your sins, it is the product and the image of your virtues. It is your moral ideal brought into reality in its full and final perfection. You have fought for it, you have dreamed of it, and you have wished it, and I- I am the skeleton who has granted you your wish.

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Your ideal had an implacable enemy, which your code of morality was designed to destroy. I have withdrawn that enemy, and turned it into more skeletons. I have taken it out of your way and out of your reach, by turning it into more skeletons. I have skeletonised the source of all those evils you were sacrificing one by one. I have ended your battle. I have stopped your motor. I have deprived your world of orc’s bone.

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Orcs do not live by the bone, you say? I have withdrawn those who do. The bone is impotent, you say? I have withdrawn those whose bone isn’t. There are values higher than the bone, you say? I have withdrawn those for whom there aren’t.

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While you were dragging to your sacrificial altars the orcs of justice, of independence, of reason, of wealth, of self-esteem - I beat you to it, I reached them first. I told them the nature of the game you were playing and the nature of that meat of yours, which they had been too innocently generous to grasp. I showed them the way to live by another form - bone. It is bone that they chose to follow.

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All the meat that has vanished, the meat you hated, yet dreaded to lose, it is I who have taken it away from you. Do not attempt to find us. We do not choose to be found. Do not cry that it is our duty to serve you. We do not recognize such duty. Do not cry that you need us. We do not consider need a claim. Do not cry that you own us. You don’t. Do not beg us to return. We are on strike, we, the meat of the bone. The. Fuck. That doesn't make any sense. Stop laughing!

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We are on strike against self-immolation. We are on strike against the creed of unearned rewards and unrewarded duties. We are on strike against the dogma that the pursuit of one’s happiness is evil. We are on strike against the doctrine that life is guilt. We are on strike against that bitch Zephrin and on my whore feminazi sister Dela and that lieberal Drogan and Longevity Mullins and the other spearman and bowman who were totally mean to me when I ran away from the village and totally wasn't in tears and Darken Volk applauded me until he didn't and I killed him.

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There is a difference between our strike and all those you’ve practiced for centuries: our strike consists, not of making demands, but of granting them. We are chaotic, according to your morality. We have chosen not to harm you any longer. We are inefficient, according to your economics. We have chosen not to exploit you any longer. We are dangerous and to be shackled, according to your politics. We have chosen not to endanger you, nor to wear the shackles any longer. We are only an illusion, according to your philosophy, except for the ghosts who are actually illusions. We have chosen not to blind you any longer and have left you free to face reality - the reality you wanted, the world as you see it now, a world without meat. Only bone. Bonely.

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We have granted you everything you demanded of us, we who had always been the givers, but have only now understood it. We have no demands to present to you, no terms to bargain about, no compromise to reach. You have nothing to offer us. We do not need you.

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Are you now crying: No, this was not what you wanted? A meatless world of ruins was not your goal? You did not want us to leave you? You cannibals, I know that you’ve always known what it was that you wanted. But your game is up, because now we know it, too.

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Through centuries of scourges and disasters, brought about by your code of morality, you have cried that your code had been broken, that the skeletons were punishment for breaking it, that men were too weak and too selfish to spill all the blood it required. Specifically this one camp just north of a peaceful farming village that could spawn infinite pikemen. That blood. And when I went and spilled it people got mad at me just because I killed the mayor, who was a total bitch anyway. You damned man, you damned existence, you damned this earth, but never dared to question your code. Your victims took the blame and struggled on, with your curses as reward for their martyrdom-while you went on crying that your code was noble, but human nature was not good enough to practice it. And no one rose to ask the question: Good?-by what standard?

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You wanted to know Malin Keshar’s identity. I am the skeleton who has asked that question.

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...

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...
. . .

FUCK DESCENT INTO DARKNESS

okay
breathe
breathe.

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Descent into Darkness is a bad and not good campaign.

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The writing is stilted as fuck. Not as stilted as Ayn Rand's is, but it's getting there. Remember... Darken Volk... ? The maps are often terrible.

That said. I will give Descent credit for what it deserves. I actually think ending as a hopeless infinite defence was kind of cool? And it's thematic. You are just another lich now! You're there to be beaten up by actual heroes. You are the final boss to many campaigns. Just, the map itself wasn't... great. I mean, you saw that third-map clear, it was literally just me brute-forcing my way through. I could have the outlaw map, too, I'm sure. But to what end? Another slightly different set of lines, another fourth-wall-breaking Malin quip. I'm inclined to say it was a great idea. With pretty terrible execution. It should have stayed a great idea.

The art was really good, especially the five (count 'em!) forms of Malin himself. They could easily have gotten away with three, or even just Meat and Lich at a stretch. And the manor maps were good. Well. Okay. The central, main manor map was good. The infiltration kind of sucked, the third map was kind of a non-event. Otherwise, the game made you feel weak, constantly - failing to beat up goblins early on, running from paladins later. If you'd actually been allowed to enjoy a high, the bitterness of the ending would have been thematically apt instead of just another way of the game kicking you in the teeth.

I'll say this, though; I feel a little more comfortable using undead. Next time, though...

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Are you fucking sick of elves yet?

 

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Congrats on getting this over with. Seems like you were really crushing this too. I never even came close to leveling up Malin. And I've always played on the easiest difficulty too. But then again, maybe there is not actually any difference in difficulty for this one. After all, you are supposed to lose anyway.

That other objective with the book was initially not in the game. It was tagged on later. Because apparently some people for some reason felt that Malin deserved a happier ending. It's really creepy how overly sympathetic a lot of people are towards a protagonist, even when they did nothing to deserve it.

Either way, having this alternate ending completely ruins the concept of the final map on a fundamental level. So I'm glad you got Malin killed. Well, that and because "fuck that guy".

Edited by BrightBow
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And with that Malin dies, proving that being undead is not the same as being immortal.

Also that he got what he deserved overall I guess.

(What was the speech you adapted from in the spoilers?)

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

That said. I will give Descent credit for what it deserves. I actually think ending as a hopeless infinite defence was kind of cool? And it's thematic. You are just another lich now! You're there to be beaten up by actual heroes. You are the final boss to many campaigns. Just, the map itself wasn't... great. I mean, you saw that third-map clear, it was literally just me brute-forcing my way through. I could have the outlaw map, too, I'm sure. But to what end? Another slightly different set of lines, another fourth-wall-breaking Malin quip. I'm inclined to say it was a great idea. With pretty terrible execution. It should have stayed a great idea.

The art was really good, especially the five (count 'em!) forms of Malin himself. They could easily have gotten away with three, or even just Meat and Lich at a stretch. And the manor maps were good. Well. Okay. The central, main manor map was good. The infiltration kind of sucked, the third map was kind of a non-event. Otherwise, the game made you feel weak, constantly - failing to beat up goblins early on, running from paladins later. If you'd actually been allowed to enjoy a high, the bitterness of the ending would have been thematically apt instead of just another way of the game kicking you in the teeth.

Yeah, it's not exactly something to replay over and over, is it?

It's really a shame how the campaign was a disappointment overall (Also, ice killing your skeletons was dumb. Never forget.)

3 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Are you fucking sick of elves yet?

Not really, we've been complaining about Malin for a bit and Integrity's trying to avoid overusing elves in HttT.

That being said, I don't think peak elf wank has been reached based on what either of you have said. I am still concerned.

3 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Congrats on getting this over with. Seems like you were really crushing this too. I never even came close to leveling up Malin. And I've always played on the easiest difficulty.

That other objective with the book was initially not in the game. It was tagged on later. Because apparently some people for some reason felt that Malin deserved a happier ending. It's really creepy how overly sympathetic a lot of people are towards a protagonist, even when they did nothing to deserve it.

Either way, having this alternate ending completely ruins the concept of the final map on a fundamental level. So I'm glad you got Malin killed. Well, that and because "fuck that guy".

Does that mean there's an ending where he doesn't go down like he should?

After looking it up, I have to say man that's a bit weak. Really not a beneficial change imo.

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4 minutes ago, Dayni said:

Does that mean there's an ending where he doesn't go down like he should?

After looking it up, I have to say man that's a bit weak. Really not a beneficial change imo.

He fakes his death and waits for a future where liches are accepted by society. That's about as goofy as it gets.

Hmmm, kinda funny writing this right after beating Valer's Arcade mode in Wargroove.

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The speech was an edited version of the opening section of the infamous 'I am John Galt' screed from Atlas Shrugged. In full it goes to like sixty pages.

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10 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

The speech was an edited version of the opening section of the infamous 'I am John Galt' screed from Atlas Shrugged. In full it goes to like sixty pages.

See, I'm not mad enough to be reading anything more Objectiveist than The Great Gatsby.

And considering how that book goes, that's not a ringing endorsement of it as a way of life.

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A admittedly nice detail about the map is that the music selection changes after a few repetitions. At first the music selection is based on the faction that you are fighting. But on the 3rd go, the selection switches to only melancholic themes, regardless of the opponent.

...of course then they had to ruin the effect by start the map with a goofy 4th wall quip. To say nothing about the alternate ending that bypasses the intended tragedy altogether.

 

I also kinda like the Dwarf version of the Foolish Hero.

"I’ve been itching for a chance to break some bones with my hammer, and now you’ve given me cause. Goodness knows you’ve got plenty of bones over there."

If he wins, he also correctly deduces that Malin was an angsty, academy dropout.

Edited by BrightBow
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that was peak update. i will never surpass it.

12 hours ago, Dayni said:

Not really, we've been complaining about Malin for a bit and Integrity's trying to avoid overusing elves in HttT.

That being said, I don't think peak elf wank has been reached based on what either of you have said. I am still concerned.

mediumkey i've forgotten where exactly peak elf wank is and now i'm starting to worry that we've already passed it and i misremembered

 

anyway, fair warning: this update is about a hundred images.

 

Spoiler

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Muff Jaanal

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The Siege of Elensefar. Hoo. This is the first map that's really a slog, not so much difficult. The map is two screens tall, and it's pure verticality.

 

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The first order of battle is blitzing the orcs. We're going to aim to open fronts along the water to the left and on the bridge in the center, then whip in all the horses and marksmen I can get to try to annihilate them before the undead arrive. Plan is to have a solid beachhead on the island, and the orcs mostly killed, before the skeletons start to arrive.

 

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Phase 2 is going to be to hold the orcish fort and recruit reinforcements while a modest force flanks through the shallows to divert undead reinforcements. Once that's done, the main force can clean up and it should just become a running battle up to the cave. Thirty-two turns.

 

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In good news, our recall list is looking pretty bulky now.

 

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We'll have a definite quality advantage over the enemy for the entire map, so with good rotation and tactics we should be able to pull this off cleanly. Why did I recruit the merman in the back?

 

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Threeish turns later, contact becomes imminent.

 

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And an event happens!

 

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hahaha honor among thieves i've never seen that written

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I don't actually remember what reinforce does, nor did I care enough to backtrack. I just hit infiltrate.

 

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That pops up a Meeting point! and gives us the permanent ability to recruit thieves. Not the other criminals from the island, nah, just thieves.

 

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I'm gonna ignore the meeting point completely, since at this point I don't actually know what they're gonna do.

 

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Everything is going according to plan.

 

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Bonk.

 

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Konrad also mops up his man and promotes.

 

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He's Konrad, but bigger. He's a genuine threat now.

 

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Anyway, the plan is amazing and I'm a genius, it turns out.

 

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They divert marginal forces to stop the flank, but also this happens.

 

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It's a bit hard to tell, but next to the thieves there's a two space path that was shallow water and now is a ford. This is irrelevant, but the thieves on the left will be pretty useful for phase 2.

 

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A few guys mop up the counter-flankers.

 

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Horses remain massive threats even in the dark, as long as you accept they get fucked up on the counter if they miss.

 

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Statistical, I guess. Oof. I guess that's what I get for mounting a full dark charge using mostly lawful units.

 

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It's fine. The combination of lances knocks him out.

 

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And with that my stupid full dark charge is actually successful, leaving token resistance and one wave of guys to deal with, and the skeletons aren't even here.

 

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Konrad's position is a little sketchy, but I have faith. What's he gonna do, die?

 

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Please note that this is not a reflection of me as a tactician and I moved him there for basically no reason under no pressure.

 

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It's a bit dicey for some units (lancer), but we mop up the orcs. Just the boss and that assassin to go - plus the skeletons, which are starting to arrive.

 

At this point I remember that I didn't recall either white mage. No healing, no undead slaying! Haha! According to plan.

 

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You know what? Yolo.

 

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suck my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

 

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We're actually in a way better position than I anticipated. There's one orc left, the skeletons are barely starting to arrive, and I won't even have to scramble to line all my guys up to fight them. I was expecting to have to get out a chaff wave to expect to die.

 

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Doesn't stop the rider from just about biting it, though! Ouch!

 

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Laura's finally coming into her own here. 3/4 hits kills any skeleton from full health. 4/4 kills even the promoted ones.

 

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Naturally, she gets 2/4.

 

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Harold becomes a skeleton's worst nightmare: an invincible bandit. This clears everything up for Konrad to run up and recruit a screening force since he's about to die-

 

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.

Uh-oh.

 

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Welcome to the team, Elvish Fighter To Plug The Gap So Konrad Doesn't Get Attacked!

 

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The archer decides instead to shoot Harold, for some reason.

 

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Goodbye, every skeleton for the rest of the campaign.

 

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Moremirmu, now that he's not involved in a desperate scramble to survive, is in his element. He can remove any undead unit we'll see on this map in one round.

 

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Honestly, the second front on the left is almost BM now. I still open it up with a few leftover thieves.

 

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This is the next several turns. Run, run into skeletons, wipe skeletons out, run. There wasn't even really a phase 2 to the plan. It was just one island battle.

 

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Stepping close enough to the cave procs an event.

 

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He gets a free instant loyal tier 1 and 2 skeleton, and enough gold for about one wave of new guys.

 

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But, I mean, even in total darkness, what are they going to do to this absolute kill squad?

 

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At this point I have a bad plan, that's gonna waste a lot of experience or kill Harold.

 

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Cowards. It's dark out now, though, so let's remove an archer and test their valor.

 

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Highwaymen are brutal.

 

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At this point, it's just carving up into the cave to kill the necromancer. Fun fact, I treated him as a lich up until, oh, the last turn of the map.

 

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Notice all that arcane and impact damage, when I could have just horsed him to death or something.

 

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Hey, I finally figured out what enemy I was fighting!

 

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I kind of hate Konrad's happy face.

 

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take a guess

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nailed it

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I read this as Thrall's greeting from Hearthstone. Kalenz is with us for the rest of the campaign. His shoulders are incredibly dumb.

 

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Delfador has an exposition sprite!

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konrad is a moron

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Parrhesia's next campaign namedropped!

 

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We're done. That went spectacularly. I'm a genius.

 

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2 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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I don't actually remember what reinforce does, nor did I care enough to backtrack. I just hit infiltrate.

They'll show up in the city when you're breaking out onto the island.

Very useful imo. Not so much when the orcs are dead, but they'll show up while there's still orcs to backstab, so a good bit of help imo.

3 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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He's Konrad, but bigger. He's a genuine threat now.

This is a good lord unit.

Thank fuck, this campaign would be a slog if he were bad. To be fair, not as bad with there being 3 other powerful units who will always deploy.

6 minutes ago, Integrity said:

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Welcome to the team, Elvish Fighter To Plug The Gap So Konrad Doesn't Get Attacked!

If you somehow promote him, make him a regular.

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1 hour ago, Integrity said:
  Reveal hidden contents

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he gets recalled, and gets a kill even

 

Spoiler

See, I like he has strong and dextrous, works really well for the fighters and even the rangers imo.

Allows for good powerful elves that supplements what they can do.

 

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LEGEND OF WESMERE IS A BETTER CAMPAIGN THAN DESCENT INTO DARKNESS 1

Spoiler

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Enlornas is the guy from Elven Incursion, the first campaign Ike played.

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We begin, as they say, in medias Chandler. The orcs are on our tits.

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Nevalon Chamberlain would like to negotiate. He has a trait called 'aged' that is unique to him afaik, and means that he is terrible at everything. I am sure this will go well.

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Oh dear!

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Diplomacy has failed, you fat, jowly fuck!

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UP

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OKAY

Kill some bitch. I can't recall ever successfully keeping Velon alive, though the map may have changed in the time since. Aged means he has -8 HP, -1 move and -1 melee damage; intelligence is useless to him. We have homies, at least. I missed homies. Arkildur is a quick/strong fighter, Anduilas a quick/dextrous (!) archer. Meanwhile, our two lords are... well... Kalenz is a quick/resilient fighter, Landar dextrous/resilient which is a little better. Our recruit list is... archers and fighters.

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There are three orc warriors in the far corners of the map with 6-7 deployment slots each. Two of them also have a boosted income over the other two. Then there is this idiot with three, who is right the fuck next to us. This is not a hard choice.

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I decide most of the way through I'll keep Elven names that aren't excessively stupid and just add the for- or surname I find most fitting. Anyway, we go archer-heavy. We want to break through, and casualties almost don't matter. I want that early finish bonus, and we need to finish fucking early to get it at all, given that Old Nev is gonna get his head kicked in soon enough.

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Legend of Wesmere has a lot of shiny ideas. One of them is that we have multiple lords. Our unit selection is limited by the fact that our only collected lords are Kalenz and Landar, who only know how to recruit the elven infantry, but rest assured we'll have more later.

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Chastity Keane goes for the 80% shots while we have them. She'll take a while to die. 70% evasion is wild.

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Landar is really psyched about getting this kill, opening more space to ram fighters into.

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A fighter goes down, and Chastity Keane winds up surviving five wolf riders at night. E V A S I O N

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Green takes the interesting decision to not move.

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This shot is terrible, but Kalenz has a line too. The line is terrible also.

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Despite us missing a ton of our shots, we weather the enemy phase. And speaking of, black makes contact. What's your plan, Neville?

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...

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Diplomacy has failed! I'm not sure who he's addressing here; green's reinforcements don't turn to our control, or anything.

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In the south, Brady Sports plays a dangerous game...

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This is stupid and could well end in disaster, but 16 experience on a platter is... 16 experience on a platter. This is Kalenz, for the record.

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In Vichy Elfland, Valon is running out of collaborators.

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Brady continues to be my one-man, 1-XP Maquis.

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I look at this and then decide the loyal fighter should earn his corn.

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Things continue to be desperate in the west... by the end of the turn, one grunt's made it through the wall of meat to him.

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In the east? Relatively breezy. But Arkildur winds up surrounded; that purple warlord Needs to die this turn.

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Brady Sports uses his strongness to Fruit Ninja an assassin's head with a single blow.

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We get it done with an archer to spare! Would've slightly preferred Surviving Keane to get the kill and promote, but hey, not complaining. If Hamilton lands the shots, more power to him. And we still promoted both lords! Kalenz went captain, the dextrous Landar marksman.

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We get 50 gold as a tasty bonus, apparently. As well as the early finish, from Valon still being alive.

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Something nice about the art is it's done by the same person who did the elves (and wizards). There's nice thematic consistency, even if the generic elf art is probably the weakest still in the game.

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Brady lives!

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This is pretty much just, 'what if the opening to HTTH was good'? There was real jeopardy with the wolves coming down and orange crunching us, and Valon could've been dead in another couple of turns. We lost close to a quarter of our units, too, and it could easily have been more. But at the end of the day, we still won with plenty of time to spare, even if we'd have been down a few more units and probably Valon. We stuck to the trees and did the early fighting against purple, but it being daylight when the promoted units started to hit helped.

A good start. But will it keep up?

 

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I don't quite get how the game labels difficulty levels. This campaign is labeled as "hard level" and the selectable difficulties are "easy", "normal" and "hard", same as Heir to the Throne which is labeled as "Novice level". Meanwhile DiD was labeled as "Intermediate" and the selectable difficulties are "normal", "challenging" and "difficult". It's like in some campaigns the difficulty levels were named relatively to the other campaigns while in others difficulty levels were named only relatively to themselves.

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