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Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth


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DEAD WATER 7: Inky's Day Out

Spoiler

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We have a cuttlefish.

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Hey, more drakes. This campaign really is a love letter to underappreciated units. Also, fuck, another really pretty map.

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Witch...

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"Uhh okay well we're actually the kill-team sent to stop her sooo"

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Diplomacy has failed!

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oh shit are you pulling a shiharam on me

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YEAH THE BOYS also look at the ... veins? on his wings, the art in this game is often Really Good

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Alright, pretty straightforward. First priority is to promote Inky, second priority is to beat the map.

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Flamehearts are the tier 3 leadership burners, and I appreciate how their flavour text calls them out as weaklings. I like the little... katar scabbard. In fact, I like Wesnoth's taking inspiration from Indian arms and armour generally.

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Remember; drakes are good against impact, basically immune to fire, and vulnerable to piercing, arcane and especially cold (which we don't have). Remember also, we need new netcasters. Getting them to tier 3 at this stage is unlikely; we're running out of maps (there's 10 in the campaign, we're on 7) and also entanglers are a bit terrible, actually? Merman promotions are just so uneven in general. Initiates and enchantresses are pretty bad, but promote to sirens, who are good. Hunters are pretty terrible, netcasters are great, entanglers are... pretty terrible. But this is all in a vaccuum. You need them all.

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They have their own inferno drake, but we also see a couple of new pokemon.

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Gliders are genuinely abysmal fighters who glide at a steady 40% on almost all terrain. But it turns out being a fast flying scout is, uh, really good.

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Flares are flamehearts but less. Even so, despite being tier 2 leadership units, their damage is basically on par with entanglers.

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This is what Teeloa is reduced to. Specifically, ash.

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Inferno drake mirror matches are kind of fucking hilarious, honestly.

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A first kill for Inky!

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I need to be more careful with my diviner placement. She's empowering the guys murdering her to death.

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I hurl two hunters to their likely doom to cover for Teeloa's useless fishy arse.

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An enforcer leads the way against me. A fearsome prospect.

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And not killing this turn is... kind of a disaster, really!

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This guy dying hurts. I threw good units after bad. And, hey, you know an entangler would be really useful here, for all I've been talking shit. Except I sent Gwabbo, for God knows what reason, off to a village in the far southeast.

The temptation is there to reload, but if you reload over a tier 2 dying to a blatant misplay, you'll reload to anything. And that'll make you make more reckless actions, misplaying more, reloading more, until suddenly it isn't fun anymore and you don't know where you went astray, and that's why I stopped playing emulated FE and Wesnoth for about three years to detox bad habits.

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That said: the situation is very salvageable, so we set about salvaging it.

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Oh, and here's the tier 2 halberd line for the clasher.

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For once, I don't end a turn early. I want to harvest this experience, at least for another turn, and they really can't hurt us.

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I set up the hunter here for a kill.

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and then totally beef the screenshot of the boss kill

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Now that... was very much a filler map, and bluntly, not one I played particularly well. But it's fine.

This is kind of a skinny update. Let's fatten it up with some... actually reaching our objective.

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Ahh, a flag and not a sword.

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Okay. Art is hard. Art of this quality is hard. Getting artists of this quality to submit art for free is, for good reason, hard. But I do feel like maybe Tyegea deserves a non-generic portrait.

Ah well. Small gripes.

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Well, there's your answer.

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I like how he phrases it. Like it's a roach infestation, or a rogue au pair or something.

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"... 3 upkeep a turn?"

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eyes emoji

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I was always more into Pokemon Do, to be honest.

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TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ... THE REVEAL

 

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hey why not give you folks a double

 

Spoiler

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It's time for the DWARVEN DOORS.

 

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This map isn't super remarkable, but it does have some fun in it and it signals that we're close to having much cooler units.

 

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This doesn't have be Haldiel, it can be any horse guy, human or elf. It does foreshadow something, though.

 

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This, also, doesn't have to be Adams - this text only appears if you took the crime path way back when and you still have a living outlaw-branch guy. The uncle is hiding here.

 

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This is, ostensibly, a seize map. Am I gonna prioritize that? Nah.

 

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So this is a tall map, one screen wide. It's the first one to have a midway recruitment point in the Pillars of Thunedain, even if it's only two recruitment spots. There are three orcs - a tier 2 fighter to the southwest, a slurbow to the middle east, and a sovereign to the northwest unpictured so far.

 

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The far north is where everything is going on. In the west, the final orc who you're not really supposed to engage. In the middle, The Great Doors. In the east, this shitty tiny mine entrance tile. Now, one would think that the objective is to bring Konrad to The Great Doors, but one would be a wrong bitch idiot loser. When the map is loaded, one of The Great Doors and the shitty tiny mine entrance is flagged as the real exit to the level, and the other just has a little exposition cutscene about how the dwarves sealed it during the siege. How do you know which is which?

'New' Brunswick Adams' uncle tells you.

Find him, he tells you the real exit. Otherwise, you just gotta guess - and Konrad isn't fast. It's a really neat idea for the map, even though it's kind of dumb that it relies on taking the crime path of the route split like six maps ago, but it's also kind of neat that taking the hard route smooths something out later down the line. I'm conflicted about it, honestly, but I think I come down on the side that it's cool.

 

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Quick conversation when people grab your first village.

 

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I recruit two rounds of infantry, one round of horses, then crack a daring plan.

I'm gonna take the Pillars. And wipe the map.

 

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Now, I cracked this plan late one night after some drinking, and set about finishing the chapter to the previous screenshot. I decided to enact the strategy anyway and ran into non-trivial regrets. I misjudged how far the Pillars are from the start, and how far south the green leader is. Fair chance I'm dogged, we'll see.

 

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Due reminder how silly horsemen are.

 

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I don't know if this is a Haldiel line or just plays on your first kill.

I never really tuned into how the paladin horse stares at You, and now you're thinking about it too.

 

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Still, we manage to set up a good front, including baiting a guy into our camouflaged Fugitive friend. We're absolutely letting the enemy get behind us in order to let Konrad get foward to get more guys at this point.

 

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Due reminder how silly daylight Paladins are. We're not doing it, I just wanted to show off the number.

 

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The south gets secured at least by a few horsemen and Meatshield, noble Meatshield. The east is anchored.

 

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Taking the house up by the Pillars gives another event!

 

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Kinda weird to refer to your nephew so formally but, hey.

 

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And Uncle Somf tells us the main entrance is the true entrance. Thanks!

 

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He's just a loyal, quick tier 2 thug. Still! Replaces that guy we lost a while back heroically killing liches.

 

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And, funny enough, Gary Grigsby's Wars in the East and West go so well that Haldiel gets to make the move I said he wasn't.

 

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Begone, thot.

 

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A fresh recruited elf horseman dies winning the economy, and also distracting six tiers of enemy away from the frontline. Rest in peace, Tails.

 

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The whole Specter squad is promoted now. Guess I need to recruit a Specter Three.

 

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West is a little understaffed, the rearguard is engaged, and Konrad just got punched in the face by a troll, but honestly? For being surrounded on four sides, this is fine.

 

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Grand knights are hilarious, haven't I said? I have two of them now.

 

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That turn honestly becomes a rout. All four fronts crumbled. I get some wizards to go kill the east guy, and then remember he's a ranged enemy.

 

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Haldiel runs into a bit of bother. The better part of discretion, right? Anyway, now we have three problems.

 

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The east is staffed, but there's a lot of snow in the way, and still bodies to clear.

 

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The north is far off, but I have several horses ready to go for it.

 

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The west is understaffed, and it's dark. We need the boss gank now, and Delfador cannot participate any more.

 

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Unrelated, here's an event from Lord of the Rings.

 

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It spawns a cuttlefish. That's it.

 

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Anyway, Kalenz contributes more than enough. Cross your fingers.

 

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ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

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cyka blyat

 

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Funny enough, I end up triggering the event I showed off anyway.

 

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Did I mention Sharpshooters are insane? I'm not taking the trade, we're waiting for support and dawn, but.

 

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Specter Two tanks the night.

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Konrad gets punched in the face by a troll.

 

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Comrade Cuttlefish helps out. Konrad gets punched in the face by two trolls.

 

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Specter One tanks another night successfully.

 

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I have three Sharpshooters now. Everything is a target.

 

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The east is looking good so far.

 

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A couple lances clear out the north.

 

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In the, uh, alt-north, it turns out there's a conversation if you park the crime next to his uncle!

 

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Heh. That was good, unlike the sea orc.

 

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Specter Two continues to barely hold out. Kalenz is absolutely fucking up bailing him out.

 

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Haldiel is finally relieved up northwest.

 

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Comrade Cuttlefish cleans up a troll. Damn you!

 

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Anyway, that's the night montage. Time to blow this joint.

 

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Easy.

 

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Uncle Somf runs interference.

 

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He, uh, hits all four.

 

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Specter Squad is ready to run a train down northwest onto the third boss, and the northeast is held down by the Adams family.

I swear to God that I didn't intend that pun when I named Brunsey back in the Moremirmu map.

 

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'attack sharpshooter on woods at range from snow' said now-dead crossboworc

 

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Specter One will open the northern front now that it's full day. Downside to going Lancer is the three lances aren't individually as powerful as the Grand Knight's fully promoted two, but that's still ninety-six damage potentially.

 

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Bye!

 

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Meanwhile, far away, Kalenz finally bails Specter Two out.

 

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Meanwhile, further away, Meatshield might die.

oh no he'll just run away from the tro

 

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ll.

Fuck. He's quick. They match movement.

 

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I pray, and Meatshield lives.

 

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The Lancer eats the boss and this lackey, priming everything for the boss's imminent death.

 

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The Adams family crush this grunt.

 

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Two sharpshooters in woods handle the goons, but the ambush is ready to spring, with six total tiers of wizard ready to explode on the boss.

 

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Ready to explode in broad daylight.

 

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Fuck's sake, you loser nerds.

 

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Despite my failure of an action shot, a real elf handles this. Two down.

 

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One to go.

 

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Crikey.

 

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Well, he's teed up for impalement.

 

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Later, nerd.

 

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mr spectral i dont feel so good

 

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Hell yeah! Early finish and total wipe of all enemies!

 

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Oh. Well, Konrad must get to the place anyway I guess. I figured that we'd get an early win and Meatshield existing chance of death would be nullified.

 

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Fuck it, I'm savescumming for this guy. One of the last three enemies on the map has a ~50% chance to kill Meatshield, and that sucks.

 

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Godspeed.

 

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aaaaaaaaaaaa he lived

Time for a full wipe.

 

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Bye.

 

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Faded.

 

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Just you and Meatshield, friend.

 

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Didn't even have to load. No enemies left. Time to f

 

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...

 

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Time to finish this.

 

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You think Uncle Somf Adams is a liar?

 

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what orcs hahahahaha

 

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Oh. Hi there.

 

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And the map ends. Pretty good map! I enjoyed it a lot! We're gonna totally switch gears next time.

 

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But you don't actually have to guess with the door. As was stated at the beginning, you can have a scout check on the door in advance. The game even spawns a veteran cavalry (in this case Haldiel, but if he was dead it would be someone else) so you can send them out right at turn 1. That scout should be able to reach the door before Konrad has to choose a direction.

Though the game should probably give a lower priority to Grand Knights for the turn 1 spawn, given their movement deficit. Guess that's another reason for why Haldiel should go Paladin.

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19 hours ago, BrightBow said:

But you don't actually have to guess with the door. As was stated at the beginning, you can have a scout check on the door in advance. The game even spawns a veteran cavalry (in this case Haldiel, but if he was dead it would be someone else) so you can send them out right at turn 1. That scout should be able to reach the door before Konrad has to choose a direction.

let's pretend this never happened

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22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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This, also, doesn't have to be Adams - this text only appears if you took the crime path way back when and you still have a living outlaw-branch guy. The uncle is hiding here.

That, that sounds like a shame.

The more I see, the more I wish I had gone crime route.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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The far north is where everything is going on. In the west, the final orc who you're not really supposed to engage. In the middle, The Great Doors. In the east, this shitty tiny mine entrance tile. Now, one would think that the objective is to bring Konrad to The Great Doors, but one would be a wrong bitch idiot loser. When the map is loaded, one of The Great Doors and the shitty tiny mine entrance is flagged as the real exit to the level, and the other just has a little exposition cutscene about how the dwarves sealed it during the siege. How do you know which is which?

'New' Brunswick Adams' uncle tells you.

Find him, he tells you the real exit. Otherwise, you just gotta guess - and Konrad isn't fast. It's a really neat idea for the map, even though it's kind of dumb that it relies on taking the crime path of the route split like six maps ago, but it's also kind of neat that taking the hard route smooths something out later down the line. I'm conflicted about it, honestly, but I think I come down on the side that it's cool.

I wondered what the other exit was for when I first played.

Now I know the gimmick. I guess I'm going crime route if I play again.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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I recruit two rounds of infantry, one round of horses, then crack a daring plan.

I'm gonna take the Pillars. And wipe the map.

You are a braver soul than I.

I chickened and charged for it.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Now, I cracked this plan late one night after some drinking, and set about finishing the chapter to the previous screenshot. I decided to enact the strategy anyway and ran into non-trivial regrets. I misjudged how far the Pillars are from the start, and how far south the green leader is. Fair chance I'm dogged, we'll see.

So many things could go to the dogs.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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I don't know if this is a Haldiel line or just plays on your first kill.

I never really tuned into how the paladin horse stares at You, and now you're thinking about it too.

I would assume it's to whichever unit takes his place.

I had Haldiel, so no answer.

Besides, Haldiel's horse knows you're there.

He's judging you on your quality as a leader of soldiers.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Kinda weird to refer to your nephew so formally but, hey.

"That's my 'New' Brunswick!"

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Unrelated, here's an event from Lord of the Rings.

 

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It spawns a cuttlefish. That's it.

This even't pretty funny if you get the trolls to fight the cuttlefish.

(Also, the Great Knight looks like he's staring at us and is annoyed at us.)

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Heh. That was good, unlike the sea orc.

'N'BA: "I mean, I got dragged into an army acting as a force for good. Of course it's bad."

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Comrade Cuttlefish cleans up a troll. Damn you!

The troll forgot the golden rule.

Don't fuckle with the cuttle.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Fuck it, I'm savescumming for this guy. One of the last three enemies on the map has a ~50% chance to kill Meatshield, and that sucks.

An understandable cause.

22 hours ago, Integrity said:

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aaaaaaaaaaaa he lived

Time for a full wipe.

Meatshled: The best thing to not live up to his name.

Edited by Dayni
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DEAD WATER 8: Swamp forest... swamp forest town lake other swamp mountain swamp--

Spoiler

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, well, thanks, Ranulf. That was kinda anticlimactic.

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Yep, mer-sex scandal.

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Well, that's. Presumptuous.

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"But Nana... ! I'm tier 3!"

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Fair point. Let's hear it.

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... ... . . . mood?

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Gotta speculich to accumulich.

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uhm

yeah kinda

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Well, this is obvious.

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... ... ... ... ... ... ...
i didn't expect it to actually let me

This isn't an especially good idea. It's not a BAD idea, in isolation, but recalling a triton to have another unit to crush skeletons is a way better idea. But then again, like... the meme value here is through the fucking roof, so consider that. Metrics, my friend. Metrics.

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Alright. Let's get her done.

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Just so you know, Teeloa? If you die, you stay dead.

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Easy enough.

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Ahhh man, now I'm getting Into the Breach flashbacks. Which is okay, because Into the Breach is a really good game.

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Foolishly they attack my mighty squid.

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Time to fend off high-res scorpions! They have... insanely polarised resistances (10% pierce resist, on top of these).

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This is shaping up to be a proper slog.

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A proper slog against which my approach... is terrible, honestly. So let's wipe the slate clear and try again.

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Much better.

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Giant spiders are motherfuckers, for some reason. Proper Shelob-tier opposition.

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Having blatantly underrecruited by two guys last time, I blatantly overrecruit by two guys this time.

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And handled.

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This seems to be their last wave.

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Inky ascends to his ultimate form; 'dear God sweet Jesus Christ get it away from me'. Very powerful. Anyway, we've left some tasty afterimages on the left of the screen.

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Bats ambush-spawn and kill this initiate, which is incredibly rude, but, like, whatever, at this stage.

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We get another triton and netcaster out of the deal, at least.

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In the north, unsurprisingly, the conspicuous and rare swamp mausoleum is the event flag.

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Oh man. This guy's portrait fucking rules.

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Within two lines this guy has established himself as the second-best wizard so far.

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I love this disgusting basement dweller. Fuck.

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We're only taking 37 bonus gold to the next level, which is really painful. What we lost in revenue, we gained in four promotions.

 

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12 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

second-best wizard so far

wait who's the first

also YES finally caught up wesnoth rules

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7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Yep, mer-sex scandal.

I guess you could say the news made a splash!

I wish I had a drum set for a rimshot here.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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"But Nana... ! I'm tier 3!"

Jeez, he got the bitch grandma.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Fair point. Let's hear it.

I mean, sure she has a ranged attack but I remember what the enforcers looked like.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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... ... . . . mood?

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RIP Imirna, the always shafted by the script.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

Gotta speculich to accumulich.

Delet this.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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... ... ... ... ... ... ...
i didn't expect it to actually let me

This isn't an especially good idea. It's not a BAD idea, in isolation, but recalling a triton to have another unit to crush skeletons is a way better idea. But then again, like... the meme value here is through the fucking roof, so consider that. Metrics, my friend. Metrics.

Oh my word, that's amazing.

Sing praises to the blessed Inky!

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

b3aa17b9a6e019f89bf31873a5b8b6d5.png
Time to fend off high-res scorpions! They have... insanely polarised resistances (10% pierce resist, on top of these).

I mean, you have a fire drake.

I'd say that'd be enough on its own.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Giant spiders are motherfuckers, for some reason. Proper Shelob-tier opposition.

Okay, that's concerning.

Also RIP arachnophobes.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Inky ascends to his ultimate form; 'dear God sweet Jesus Christ get it away from me'. Very powerful. Anyway, we've left some tasty afterimages on the left of the screen.

That's some beast released with up to 50 damage in melee and 85 HP.

Two more things: Does Inky still have the arcane damage? Also RIP cuttle "jokes".

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

b0dc78c62282c63107e81b06a635cafc.png
Oh man. This guy's portrait fucking rules.

His first line somehow sounds sincere and sarcastic.

He kind of looks like he's going to pick you up then rob you.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Within two lines this guy has established himself as the second-best wizard so far.

I can't help but keep thinking he's like SotN's Dracula's VA with this. What is a MER MAN?

I think I might rank him higher than Aquagar.

7 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

77c54b0175218f78c303ebe7ccd3806c.jpg
I love this disgusting basement dweller. Fuck.

Never mind that last statement I guess.

Flattery establishes you as a basement dweller then? It's quite clear he's hammy and talks up others. Calling it even if he's just pretending to be like that he's a traitor.

M'ermaid

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Yeah, Inky's got arcane melee damage for the rest of the campaign.

I read the "Am I glad to see you?" line as a direct response to the "We're glad to see you : )" from Krellis, and so as more of a... "okay, you're glad to see me, that's great, are you glad to see me because you're tracking me down to murder me or"

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28 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Yeah, Inky's got arcane melee damage for the rest of the campaign.

that's the right reverend inky to you praise jesus

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On 5/19/2019 at 6:35 AM, Dayni said:

Also RIP arachnophobes

i hate the wesnoth spiders so much for exactly this reason

i mean they're also awful to fight against but also they're HUGE SPIDERS  D:

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DEAD WATER 9: Happy, happy, happy, happy--

Spoiler

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Straightforward enough.

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Here's the (Vemar)tea.

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eyes emoji

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The ultimate party trick; he screm

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I fuck up taking the screenshot, and sarcastically write 'Nice couplet.' while neglecting to actually cap the line, so hey, you get to imagine what yourself what line is missing here.

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28 turns to complete the unusually flowery wincon.

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Well, now I just have to see this.

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Okay, we can now set our money on fire if we want by recruiting human villagers. The game is polite enough to explicitly say they won't be recallable. The list includes the tier 0 humans - the only opportunity we'll ever get in any campaign to have ruffians, as far as I'm aware - poachers/trappers, thugs/bandits, and footpads.

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HEYYY my MAN

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YEAH

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Immediately, our newfound homies celebrate by seizing this village. In a nice, Gwabbo-like touch, the footpad's dextrous.

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Leaving this as our final unit list.

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Credit to Horwyth, he's gonna defend his homestead.

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A chocobone dives in, gets mostly annihilated by our man here, and then the outlaw finishes him off with his sling.

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Siddry shoots a ghost to death.

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But I beef my positioning, somewhat.

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This way we lose a thug, but, like, whatever. Still. Next turn could go very wrong, very quickly

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We open the right way, murdering a bat.

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This is how it's gotta be, little darlin'...

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I'll be ridin' on the horses--

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-- fuck no.

Okay, those losses are not sustainable. Let's tread back a couple turns to like, before we were trapped in the middle. These homesteads are not, it turns out, worth fighting for. A kraken and diviner being out of position is disastrous, as well as nightfall. And just generally, I'm paying the price for letting our finances dwindle so much last map. Small margins; two fewer recruits probably make for two more recruits here, where it'd mean we have a crumple zone.

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And that's a much more palatable dawn 7.

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A wildly successful player phase is the result, sweeping clear the west and mostly handling the east. Oh, and I summoned another thug for crumple zone.

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Even so. Are we fortunate to escape without casualties? Yeah, somewhat.

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Yeah, this... really was a time where I just needed to sit back and kill cunts on favourable terms.

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Hey, it's that action shot of the spectre I spent all of Descent into Darkness failing to capture!

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Mal-Govon does, in fact, have the sword, but it's hard to see him wanting to use it.

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Time to creep up the map.

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Despite our best efforts, though, we can't go for the kingsnipe itself. Yet. So, hopefully he sticks around...

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He doesn't.

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Our advance is hella cautious, and we use this time to snipe most of the map's villages to limit our gold loss.

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SURPRISE TEELOA

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Hey, let's leave this guy alone to die for the memes, I want to see his staff go nuclear.

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...
Dead Water rules.

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uhhh--

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He picks up the sword - note his sidebar - then fully heals.

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... you know, I HAD noticed that, too. Also, the game is being really polite, letting us not necessarily drop the hammer on him if we aren't ready.

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... On the other hand, this is less polite. But it's fine. The game did give us a breather turn for a reason. I roll back to the save from before we threw Caledon to his death.

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Tempted to have the storm trident outduel him, sure, but why not just have Siddry (who promoted)'s last homie just blackjack the cunt instead?

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Gwabbo is probably ideal; Gwabbo is also far down south. This is pretty weak damage for an actual melee fighter, too. Actually, the perfect unit is probably our elite spearman; he ain't using pierce against too many undead. Buuut I didn't recall him this map, for that reason.

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And with that, Siddry can go home.

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After the mulligan, with the realisation you just can't hold the centre at night, we handled that pretty deftly. Our finances are healthy, and we have a powerful core of level 3 guys.

 

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12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Here's the (Vemar)tea.

49d1ca426f8c44a76d7ab493aeb8d9e7.jpg

Well, Spendthrift is no fool.

Also, nice to see he's a Silver Mage. Mage of Light would have been better.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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eyes emoji

That's called being just the same king, genius.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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The ultimate party trick; he screm

He's been practising by just shouting randomly this whole time!

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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I fuck up taking the screenshot, and sarcastically write 'Nice couplet.' while neglecting to actually cap the line, so hey, you get to imagine what yourself what line is missing here.

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"Your kingdom's nothing more than broke

Your proclamations are just a joke"

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Well, now I just have to see this.

I mean, it'll just game over, right?

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

33e70cc8a1cf0fb5c547edf2459e8030.jpg
Okay, we can now set our money on fire if we want by recruiting human villagers. The game is polite enough to explicitly say they won't be recallable. The list includes the tier 0 humans - the only opportunity we'll ever get in any campaign to have ruffians, as far as I'm aware - poachers/trappers, thugs/bandits, and footpads.

At least it's something.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

2c13da77dc446ec7ab54bfee11a73b1f.jpg
HEYYY my MAN

Hey, he's alive!

He's here!

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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YEAH

He's being helpful!

Siddry being the bro of the day.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Credit to Horwyth, he's gonna defend his homestead.

"No bat's tilting at my fuckin' windmill!"

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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Mal-Govon does, in fact, have the sword, but it's hard to see him wanting to use it.

I mean, if his opponent's weaker to fire....

It does have more amounts of hits if he so happens to be fought against at melee I could see it happening.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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...
Dead Water rules.

It really does.

Good job Dead Water writers. You actually did it you mad souls.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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cec1c28be783a9137f81e6250211cfda.jpg
... you know, I HAD noticed that, too. Also, the game is being really polite, letting us not necessarily drop the hammer on him if we aren't ready.

I guess he's just really loving the sword.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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I see the sword doesn't prevent hamming it up after all.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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... On the other hand, this is less polite. But it's fine. The game did give us a breather turn for a reason. I roll back to the save from before we threw Caledon to his death.

A shit-ton of fire.

You'd think it'd screw with the swamp.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

8bbe873728c92a476799c5b8ad608a75.jpg
Gwabbo is probably ideal; Gwabbo is also far down south. This is pretty weak damage for an actual melee fighter, too. Actually, the perfect unit is probably our elite spearman; he ain't using pierce against too many undead. Buuut I didn't recall him this map, for that reason.

I guess fishboy's the new sword wielder.

It's a shame it's only 32 damage.

12 hours ago, Parrhesia said:

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And with that, Siddry can go home.

I guess he bro'd as far as he could.

Shame.

Edited by Dayni
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DEAD WATER 10: Most merman bays are haunted by murky, intangible apparitions. In Jotha, however, the bay is haunted by a very tangible human skull that refuses to be buried. When provoked, the skull's angry screams reverberate for miles.

Spoiler

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And the finale.

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You know, I feel like his nuke staff was the real prize.

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And we can now recruit mermaid priestesses! Now there's a tier 2 worth summoning.

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... .mp4.

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Neat touch: Nebthun here's a homie resilient fighter with 6 XP baked in. Which befits a guy who hasn't done much fighting, but has had to scrap a bit. Intelligent homie hunter Jarla has 10, and strong homie brawler Tamobo has 32.

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Now there's a setup. You have my attention.

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It's the first... well, first two maps, but with a bit more to the west added, and with the terrain fucked up some. Daveth's in the centre, the death knight and Mal-Kevek are where they were before. Hilariously, there's a bunch of elite skeletons guarding the northwest. We have 556 gold and unlimited turns.

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Tyegea's also dextrous.

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Apprentices, am I right? Anyway, as before, the death knight summons skeletons, the lich ghosts, Daveth trash mobs.

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Obviously, Dead Water is not brilliantly-written from a technical perspective. But we get a small cast of characters to care about, each with distinctive traits - Krellis going from callow prince to powerful God-King, but never quite losing his naive streak; small, wise Cylanna; thug Gwabbo; the guy who ran that AirBNB; and not one but two great enigmatic wizards in Tyegea (smug kind) and Caladon (dug-too-deep kind).

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I recall everyone over tier 1, hire a shitton of priestesses, and then three citizens on the final turn of recruitment since there's not enough for another priestess.

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Time to get fucked. Our more physically-inclined crew surge north...

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While the exorcists hold the south.

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Wow. Literally five turns and already Daveth seeks death.

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Hey, hi, yeah, this is just about the last fight ghosts should ever be taking.

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A lowly netcaster pulverises the necromancer.

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Aww. Is it because it's a kraken, or because he's already got a magic item? I suspect the latter.

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It's the latter. It increases all damage by 1, and adds some health. It might be balance reasons, as much as the need to have lines, that's why the kraken can't take it.

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Tyegea's helped us a bunch, this is the least she deserves.

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Anyway, orange crumples.

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Ahh, fuck. Gwabbo follows in Arkildur's proud tradition by dying on the final map.

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Still. We press on.

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Well. I guess it sucks to be a triton today. The southern one, I... didn't even mean to send south, for obvious reasons. The northern one helped do the job. We've been doing really well, even so, given... you know, it's night.

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For their loyal service over the time while we were away, Nebthun and Jarla get the cushy job of pinning down a bat. ... Signs point to them fucking it up, but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

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In the north, we continue to tenderise them; in the south, well. There continues to not be a southern front. Though, to be fair, the necrophage is a bitch to bring down.

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The homie brawler dies. My fault. I internalised that he was a kill away from promotion, put him in harm's way to finish an archer... then realised the kill would've needed to be higher-level. I'd have noticed if he still had a true promotion to go, the bar would've been teal and not white.

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We kill everyone here.

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This guy surely feels like burly-pizza-guy-returns-to-room-on-fire.gif right now.

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Oh shit.

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Well, they'll just have to wait their damn turn. In the south, the exorcists begin their slow crawl east.

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It takes a third, but Jarla gets eaten by bats.

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Inky gets the job motherfucking done.

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Still, things are looking a touch dicey. Three fronts? Three fronts is starting to be spread thin. On the bright side, we're finally breaking even turn-by-turn! Shame about the -99 debt. All it took was us seizing over half the map.

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We lose a citizen or two, and now it's night. Things are precarious. But we do have them where we want them.

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Hey, look who found some more consonants.

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For the first time all campaign, it's time for Rhombus Volu to stab a cunt.

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Third triton down.

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The exorcists have been steadily plugging down a ghost or two a turn.

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Down goes the last of purple. Hey, like I said at the start: an unintelligent citizen only useful in the short-term fighting undead is, in fact, prime brawler time.

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Not actually the last, this little shit's been going around uncapping villages. Since purple doesn't have a leader, it can't actually hold them, but it can still uncap.

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Time to face judgement.

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Since I have nothing better to do, I ensure we at least end the day with A triton.

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Oh, I assure you, it's possible. It's happening. Keshan does the honours.

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I wonder which will be higher.

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That... was a massacre. But not a slog.

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Oh my God, we're gonna get character epilogues--

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There is a conspicuous missing figure, here.

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DEAD WATER IS THE BEST CAMPAIGN IN THE FUCKING GAME.

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YEAH

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THANKS GUYS

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Siddry : )

I'm glad we're onto a happy thing. South Guard feels like a long time ago. Descent was genuinely really bad, and Legend was... extremely mixed. So it's felt like a while since I could just... enjoy a good campaign, made competently, in this really good free game.

Dead Water never tried to overcomplicate things. We were in the mundane world, the mundane world became full of zombies, we fled to the dangerous world, we gained the magic helmet of a bunch of tier 3 units, we went home, we smote our enemies, and we return rejuvenated and enriched to the status quo. Straight out of uni screenwriting class. The dialogue wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, and it had a few really good lines and characters thrown in.

Designwise;
Map 1: defending your homeland. Hey, welcome to merman mechanics! You have to use some tier 1s! Good map!
Map 2: homeland overrun! The 'promote your leader before leaving' wincon is a good and really thematic idea. The triple crown is doable, and you get interesting rewards for it, but don't hugely feel like you Miss Out if you don't go for it. Good map!
Map 3: proper introduction to your forces. It's basic, it's pretty filler, but infighting wolves and a pretty map with favourable terrain let you use it to your advantage, feel clever, and get a feel for your unit set.
Map 4: Slave riots. A really interesting map that left the timing of its gimmick entirely in the hands of the player. It was just fun generally, and the swampy terrain meant both the mermen and the saurians got to shine on de facto 'flat' terrain, which is understated and clever. The campaign used swamps like this a fair bit, actually.
Map 5: Hotel Hell. This map is great. In concept, in dialogue, in gameplay. It gives you a heap of ghosts and leaves it entirely up to the player how to deal with them. Do you rely on the orcs to soften them up? Do you get it done and get out?
Map 6: The old man and the sea. A fun map against eclectic units. And you got to fucking keep a loyal cuttlefish, man.
Map 7: Drakes map. Yeah, this is filler, but at least with an unusual unit set and another pretty map. It was resolutely Okay. I played it badly.
Map 8: Caladon Swamp. Easily the worst map in the campaign, but I wouldn't call it bad, just somewhat boring and somewhat punishing (via ambush spawn bats. And. I mean. They're bats.)
Map 9: The Caladon Incident. Kill your first lich! You get random villagers, and get to feel heroic for having saved Siddry - but aren't fucked, if you didn't.
Map 10: The finale. We just saw it. You sweep through and crush the enemy. It's a victory lap, in a good way.

So yeah. 7 and 8 were kinda forgettable, not even really bad. The rest all had a real reason to exist. I guess if I had to nitpick, removing 8 and instead having a breather map between killing the first lich (and Caladon) and saving your homeland might've been better, but then, where do you find Caladon? This is fine as-is. Also, the maps were almost universally really pretty.

As a general design philosophy, Dead Water liked to reward, not punish, the player. Remember how Legend gave you nothing except favourable bugs for exceptional clears, and took away swathes of your units without warning? Contrast that to DW. That shipwreck out in the distance with no strategic value? There's gold there if you go for it. Go out of your way to retrieve a trident and it's there for you. Complete the stretch goals of Map 2 and you get unique units. You're making friends with this sea wizard hermit? You get a fucking loyal cuttlefish. You got to use the flaming sword. You got holy water and a ring on top of that. Your lord goes from feeble and pathetic at tier 0 to mediocre tier 1 to really strong tier 2-3, and your loyal troops have interesting and often unique traits - combined with the items and the handful of exotic troops, you had quite a lot of unit variety. Even shit like... Caladon threatens to nuke the earth if you let him die, and if you do, he does! No fakeouts.

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This campaign literally gave us a cuttlefish, and then gave the cuttlefish a promotion, and the option to give that promoted cuttlefish holy water. Merman units are pretty wildly imbalanced, honestly (not the campaign's fault, apart from citizens (a fine T0) and brawlers (great concept, very underpowered)), but this campaign - not for the first time I've said it - felt like a love letter to underappreciated units. I'm only surprised we didn't pick up a homie duelist somewhere along the line. On the whole they managed to make our units feel... not monotonous, even when pursuing the coward option in chapter 2.

Yeah... fuck it. Dead Water is the best campaign we've seen so far, and might be the best in the game.

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Next time: a change of pace.

 

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55 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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And we can now recruit mermaid priestesses! Now there's a tier 2 worth summoning.

All that arcane, so nice.

57 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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Neat touch: Nebthun here's a homie resilient fighter with 6 XP baked in. Which befits a guy who hasn't done much fighting, but has had to scrap a bit. Intelligent homie hunter Jarla has 10, and strong homie brawler Tamobo has 32.

Least they have some exp.

57 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

Now there's a setup. You have my attention.

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It's the first... well, first two maps, but with a bit more to the west added, and with the terrain fucked up some. Daveth's in the centre, the death knight and Mal-Kevek are where they were before. Hilariously, there's a bunch of elite skeletons guarding the northwest. We have 556 gold and unlimited turns.

This is a finale map.

I like it.

58 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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Obviously, Dead Water is not brilliantly-written from a technical perspective. But we get a small cast of characters to care about, each with distinctive traits - Krellis going from callow prince to powerful God-King, but never quite losing his naive streak; small, wise Cylanna; thug Gwabbo; the guy who ran that AirBNB; and not one but two great enigmatic wizards in Tyegea (smug kind) and Caladon (dug-too-deep kind).

RIP AirB&B Orc.

59 minutes ago, Parrhesia said:

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Wow. Literally five turns and already Daveth seeks death.

I mean, his whole thing was messing with undead.

Him seeking his own death might make him a lich, stop! That only leads us to Mal Keshar, we don't want that!!

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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Ahh, fuck. Gwabbo follows in Arkildur's proud tradition by dying on the final map.

Respect to him for at least trying to make it.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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This guy surely feels like burly-pizza-guy-returns-to-room-on-fire.gif right now.

Least this one has a fire extinguisher.

The wrong one, but still.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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For the first time all campaign, it's time for Rhombus Volu to stab a cunt.

It's been that long since he stabbed a guy?

Wow. That's what his harpoon does!

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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That... was a massacre. But not a slog.

RIP so many tritons.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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There is a conspicuous missing figure, here.

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DEAD WATER IS THE BEST CAMPAIGN IN THE FUCKING GAME.

Praise Inky!

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

we gained the magic helmet of a bunch of tier 3 units

The magic of experience I see.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:
Spoiler

I'm glad we're onto a happy thing. South Guard feels like a long time ago. Descent was genuinely really bad, and Legend was... extremely mixed. So it's felt like a while since I could just... enjoy a good campaign, made competently, in this really good free game.

Dead Water never tried to overcomplicate things. We were in the mundane world, the mundane world became full of zombies, we fled to the dangerous world, we gained the magic helmet of a bunch of tier 3 units, we went home, we smote our enemies, and we return rejuvenated and enriched to the status quo. Straight out of uni screenwriting class. The dialogue wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, and it had a few really good lines and characters thrown in.

Designwise;
Map 1: defending your homeland. Hey, welcome to merman mechanics! You have to use some tier 1s! Good map!
Map 2: homeland overrun! The 'promote your leader before leaving' wincon is a good and really thematic idea. The triple crown is doable, and you get interesting rewards for it, but don't hugely feel like you Miss Out if you don't go for it. Good map!
Map 3: proper introduction to your forces. It's basic, it's pretty filler, but infighting wolves and a pretty map with favourable terrain let you use it to your advantage, feel clever, and get a feel for your unit set.
Map 4: Slave riots. A really interesting map that left the timing of its gimmick entirely in the hands of the player. It was just fun generally, and the swampy terrain meant both the mermen and the saurians got to shine on de facto 'flat' terrain, which is understated and clever. The campaign used swamps like this a fair bit, actually.
Map 5: Hotel Hell. This map is great. In concept, in dialogue, in gameplay. It gives you a heap of ghosts and leaves it entirely up to the player how to deal with them. Do you rely on the orcs to soften them up? Do you get it done and get out?
Map 6: The old man and the sea. A fun map against eclectic units. And you got to fucking keep a loyal cuttlefish, man.
Map 7: Drakes map. Yeah, this is filler, but at least with an unusual unit set and another pretty map. It was resolutely Okay. I played it badly.
Map 8: Caladon Swamp. Easily the worst map in the campaign, but I wouldn't call it bad, just somewhat boring and somewhat punishing (via ambush spawn bats. And. I mean. They're bats.)
Map 9: The Caladon Incident. Kill your first lich! You get random villagers, and get to feel heroic for having saved Siddry - but aren't fucked, if you didn't.
Map 10: The finale. We just saw it. You sweep through and crush the enemy. It's a victory lap, in a good way.

So yeah. 7 and 8 were kinda forgettable, not even really bad. The rest all had a real reason to exist. I guess if I had to nitpick, removing 8 and instead having a breather map between killing the first lich (and Caladon) and saving your homeland might've been better, but then, where do you find Caladon? This is fine as-is. Also, the maps were almost universally really pretty.

As a general design philosophy, Dead Water liked to reward, not punish, the player. Remember how Legend gave you nothing except favourable bugs for exceptional clears, and took away swathes of your units without warning? Contrast that to DW. That shipwreck out in the distance with no strategic value? There's gold there if you go for it. Go out of your way to retrieve a trident and it's there for you. Complete the stretch goals of Map 2 and you get unique units. You're making friends with this sea wizard hermit? You get a fucking loyal cuttlefish. You got to use the flaming sword. You got holy water and a ring on top of that. Your lord goes from feeble and pathetic at tier 0 to mediocre tier 1 to really strong tier 2-3, and your loyal troops have interesting and often unique traits - combined with the items and the handful of exotic troops, you had quite a lot of unit variety. Even shit like... Caladon threatens to nuke the earth if you let him die, and if you do, he does! No fakeouts.

This campaign literally gave us a cuttlefish, and then gave the cuttlefish a promotion, and the option to give that promoted cuttlefish holy water. Merman units are pretty wildly imbalanced, honestly (not the campaign's fault, apart from citizens (a fine T0) and brawlers (great concept, very underpowered)), but this campaign - not for the first time I've said it - felt like a love letter to underappreciated units. I'm only surprised we didn't pick up a homie duelist somewhere along the line. On the whole they managed to make our units feel... not monotonous, even when pursuing the coward option in chapter 2.

Yeah... fuck it. Dead Water is the best campaign we've seen so far, and might be the best in the game.

 

A nice summary of what Dead Water does right and where it's limited.

As a curiosity, is there anything that's going to show a more advanced level of writing in these campaigns? Or am I getting too hopeful you'd make some sick comparing with stronger writing?

Also, next time Orcs!

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3 hours ago, Dayni said:

As a curiosity, is there anything that's going to show a more advanced level of writing in these campaigns? Or am I getting too hopeful you'd make some sick comparing with stronger writing?

Writing-wise I remember Delfador's Memoirs being really good when I played it some years ago, and looking at the intro to Secrets of the Ancients, it's shown a lot of promise. Ike's covering both of them, naturally, the lucky fuck.

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On 5/23/2019 at 11:14 AM, Parrhesia said:

Writing-wise I remember Delfador's Memoirs being really good when I played it some years ago, and looking at the intro to Secrets of the Ancients, it's shown a lot of promise. Ike's covering both of them, naturally, the lucky fuck.

i, the less narratively-focused and more douchey one, am covering the only possible contenders to the throne

 

it's a safe bet that you will all come out of this knowing in your kokorae that dead water was the best-written campaign

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anyway you all waited for filler

 

Spoiler

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I started this map on Tuesday.

 

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Cursory intro, unlimited turns, dark map, I thought this was something I remembered from playing on my iPad - her name is Victoria - during class a few years back.

 

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The map looks huge. It is huge. And movement is limited.

 

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We're engaged by bats from the dark, dropping a quarter of Konrad's health from nowhere.

 

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At this point I stop playing until today. Cool news: I did four To-Shin Do classes in three days and graduated to my second belt. Growth!

 

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I have no idea why this picture captured my entire both screens but I'm posting it for the novelty.

 

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Anyway, the bad news is my legs, arms, torso, and body feel like jelly right now, but hey, that's physical training, right? So yeah, we killed two waves of bats and

 

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saw lava and moved forward and

 

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I'll just spoil you: this cutscene is the end of the map. This giant, blackened map, with no turn limit, was three turns. There are 38 screenshots to go in the update. Any modern game would have, correctly, made this whole level a cutscene.

 

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You ever reckon that dwarf-elf drama is all Tolkein's, and by which I mostly mean Peter Jackson's, fault?

 

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Good comeback, dork.

 

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Challenge: name a single personality trait Konrad has exhibited.

 

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All of Konrad's development has been via what Delfador is pushing him towards now. A competent narrative would use this to show how Konrad is a pawn, or how he is way out of his depth right now, or anything. Heir to the Throne? Nah.

 

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Konrad, directly konfronted by the dwarves, has no attempt to defend himself. Delfador defends himself and by proxy validates Konrad. Konrad is nobody.

 

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Declaring Konrad a joke gives Delfador an extremely forgettable moment to show the dwarves what's up. Konrad? An accessory.

 

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We're all friends, now that Delfador's spritework changed and he yelled, while nothing happened on the map.

 

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The map would ordinarily end there, but noble Gryphon Tender arrives.

 

This puts an interesting timeline on gryphon lifespans, given as they hatched about four months ago at the most unreasonable estimate.

 

Like, four month old chickens aren't even adults.

 

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So it's established that the only canonical mounters of gryphons, dwarves, have no business doing this, and that this is just Konrad's random idea.

 

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I hate this map so much.

 

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I hate this map with all of my hate.

 

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Hey, check it out, a Konrad problem is solved by Konrad doing nothing and Delfador suggesting the solution. Who'd figure?

 

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Gryphon Riders are not fearsome. They attack for 12x2 blade, with paltry durability and no resistances. Compared to noble Horsemen, they are less durable except against spears, do far less damage on player phase for slightly more damage on enemy phase, and promote to just bigger versions of themselves rather than getting bigger and gaining options.

 

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Check out the tonal swing. Shut the fuck up.

 

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Woo. We did it.

next map we can recruit dwarves so i'll get a lot more enthusiastic i swear to god and jesus

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7 hours ago, Integrity said:

i, the less narratively-focused and more douchey one, am covering the only possible contenders to the throne

 

it's a safe bet that you will all come out of this knowing in your kokorae that dead water was the best-written campaign

I don't know what kokorae means but I bet that this can only end one way.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

jXKHf9N9_o.png

I'll just spoil you: this cutscene is the end of the map. This giant, blackened map, with no turn limit, was three turns. There are 38 screenshots to go in the update. Any modern game would have, correctly, made this whole level a cutscene.

There's something you missed.

There's a chest in the caverns. It's guarded by giant spiders.

I missed it too. I was wondering if you'd show it.

Yes, it's literally the only thing not making this a cutscene.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

You ever reckon that dwarf-elf drama is all Tolkein's, and by which I mostly mean Peter Jackson's, fault?

I mean, maybe?

I'm not that well-read on elf-dwarf drama.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

29emYaxk_o.png

Challenge: name a single personality trait Konrad has exhibited.

Being Delfadonewiththeroyalfamily's puppet. 

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

All of Konrad's development has been via what Delfador is pushing him towards now. A competent narrative would use this to show how Konrad is a pawn, or how he is way out of his depth right now, or anything. Heir to the Throne? Nah.

Konrad: He just is.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

This puts an interesting timeline on gryphon lifespans, given as they hatched about four months ago at the most unreasonable estimate.

 

Like, four month old chickens aren't even adults.

I mean, they could just be too big to keep on a leash like that and still be young.

They could have bad ropes too.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

Hey, check it out, a Konrad problem is solved by Konrad doing nothing and Delfador suggesting the solution. Who'd figure?

I mean, Delfador still does more damage than him.

7 hours ago, Integrity said:

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Gryphon Riders are not fearsome. They attack for 12x2 blade, with paltry durability and no resistances. Compared to noble Horsemen, they are less durable except against spears, do far less damage on player phase for slightly more damage on enemy phase, and promote to just bigger versions of themselves rather than getting bigger and gaining options.

I will say a bunch of them are useful as scouts, don't knock them entirely. They also use blade damage, which is less of a situational unit.

Then again, no Charge, right?

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gVHL3cNQ_o.png

I know HTTT was written first, but chronologically, Kalenz's mate did sort of murder a shitton of dwarves.

BLACK-EYE 1: Kapoue vs. Confirmation Bias

Spoiler

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Welcome back. We're now stepping into Son of the Blackeye. This is the hardest campaign we've played yet, and all three of our difficulty levels are now threatening us. As always, we're playing on the average of the three. This is the only campaign that sees us as orcs.

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We're in the northern orcish homeland.

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After the long-winded opening, this is... straightforward, even bland. We have 100 gold to head south and kick this guy's head in.

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Yeah. There's a map around halfway down.

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Kapoue is pretty decent as things stand. It's going to take a while for him to level, but he has a meaty 45 health, solid 7x3 melee, and passable 5x2 ranged chip. That said, Kapoue has no traits.

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They have far more gold and more guys to send, but the issue is? We can take this advance force and bundle up here with a view to slaughtering them in the night, then moving steadily down, picking them off piecemeal.

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The fencer lives, unfortunately.

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Paying the price: an intelligent/strong grunt. Mind, strong isn't very... good, for grunts. It's only +2 damage, +3 on promotion.

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There isn't a lot to say except that we keep fucking missing. I abandon the start of the next turn when we miss all but two from eight 60% shots, and would need to make at least one more, having spent our entire action economy on one goddamn cavalryman. Our luck is almost as bad when we reload but, fuck, at least he eventually does die, and we have to keep it.

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But that's just life, with the orcs. It's cheap.

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Naturally, they make all THEIR 60%s. I hate it, but we need to pull back and recruit two more grunts, with a view to an archer next turn. They still haven't finished recruiting. Our night phase was totally squandered, so...

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Naturally, our grunt collapses.

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At least we're doing well by sending a rider down this way. Note that there's a bunch of different flags used - this is the second time I'm certain we've had a unique flag. The South Guard had a distinct white-and-red, and now we have the black eye design. There's a bunch of different house types, too. These are, obviously, orcish ones.

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I hope to God we don't need another archer, because I forgot to recruit one. Of course their archer continues to instagib our troops.

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Two crossbows. I play it safe on the recruiting, but we really need to move south, NOW.

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Just one of those days.

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Really wanted to use all my actions killing an almost-entirely-dead fencer and this idiot, on flat ground, at night.

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good

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Grunts don't trade very well with bowmen in day. I, uh... I like grunts as short-term meatshields more than I like them as long-term prospects.

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In a welcome bit of competence, the crossbowman goes on to murder the fuck out of this guy. We're extremely running out of time, though. Well. Relatively. Turn 17/24, anyway.

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thank lord jesus christ

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It'd be harsh to call Blackeye's art bad. It's just... very obviously some of the very oldest art left in the game. It hasn't been updated since I started playing a decade ago.

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Which means he kind of clashes with, well, all the really good generic orc art. Like look at how shitty and scruffy the wolf rider is, he's amazing.

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'Slowly and inaccurately'?

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Saying 'yes' basically gives you an extra challenge map. I don't feel like map 1x is the right time for a challenge map. One explicitly designed to punish you for Choosing Wrong at this intersection. So... pass.

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Vrag's the most well-spoken fucking scout.

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So since we've decided not to get all our troops killed against the massive enemy forces, we're looking good.

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Finances could be better.

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Importantly, we got two intelligent archers in our first batch, and promoted both. With the kill on Alber, our fearless leader has promoted, too.

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With 20 more health than a lieutenant, and +1 more damage on each sword and crossbow blow, we're reaping the rewards of being, essentially, a boss mob. He's in a good place, but with 120 XP left to go 'til promotion in a very long campaign, I'll go slightly less hell-for-leather in the chase for tier 3.

 

Edited by Parrhesia
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3 hours ago, Dayni said:

There's something you missed.

There's a chest in the caverns. It's guarded by giant spiders.

I missed it too. I was wondering if you'd show it.

Yes, it's literally the only thing not making this a cutscene.

i went back and verified, yes, there is a one-hex otherwise-ordinary wall you can jam a unit into to discover a secret passage which is guarded by one (1) giant spider who will kick your fucking teeth in except kalenz dodged three 70%s in a row.

your reward is a great treasure of 200 gold.

1 hour ago, Parrhesia said:

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Lanbeck Aitch

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