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Parrhesia

Parrhesia and Integrity's Guide to Surviving Wesnoth

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Yeah, I don't mind it being the hard path, like how a normal pressured fighting retreat for Black Eye 1x would be good and fine. And in a way this is better because you do actually get a reward for it, if you can press hard enough to free some guys. But on the other hand... oooof. Really glad I didn't try and save all six!

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INVASION 6: It's been over a week since I have opened the Battle for Wesnoth application

Spoiler

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Well, if we survived the last map, nothing holds fear for us anymore.

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Level one, huh? Cute.

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I really just... really want to punch Dacyn's fucking lights out.

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So, as mentioned in HTTT, horsemen are kind of their own deal of exotic highland margraves. Owaec is one of them. We can recruit horsemen, now! I won't be.

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Seeing a revenant boss is... cute.

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This seems like having the best chance of being a not-awful map thus far, but it also seems like our gold is going to get tanked... probably. Unless we lowball it. But then, the revenant leader starts with a mighty 40 gold.

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In the furore of last mission, a few things kind of passed by. One is that Terraent, though not his squaddies, is a homie.

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This cavalryman finds some footpads. But they're easy enough to handle.

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We're basically pulling a reverse Liberty.

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Their cavalryman rushes to his death.

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A quick/int one of mine nabs an amulet.

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Incidentally, Dacyn is just spamming his cast animation. It's a nice effect.

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Lancer instagibs will never get old.

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Owaec's crew get destroyed.

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As soon as it turns day, though, Tarraent could probably take them all.

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Bandit struggle continues.

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This portrait works really well for 'turning from watching your force get hammered by some skeletons to scream orders at a guy'.

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Another one-shot taken. I'm so proud of it that I promptly forget to move my southern contingent and have to retake the turn. Oops. Curiously, the daves spawn differently this time - no rogue (who had avoided both lance shots to instagib HIM), but instead a bandit, poacher and thief.

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Obviously, I preserve my core strategy.

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Can't run so easy, fucko!

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booooo

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Pretty much every attack misses this turn, including four lances and a spoonfed missed kill for Mivan.

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The struggle continues, both to get Mivan kills and to impale the ninja. It's... surpririsngly hard to catch up with a ninja who doesn't want to be caught. With time on our side and the odds against us, I aim to bide my time.

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A kill for Mivan!!

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GET BACK HERE YA CUNT

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Unintended things start to happen. The guy fulfils his AI objective of... making  it onto a fort. And then immediately goes off the fort to shank Dacyn. I do have to reload the start of next turn when, after the initial four from four lances missing (admittedly at a miserly 30%) that enabled him to GET this far, four from four 40% lances miss that would, uh, let him kill whoever he wanted.

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One from four is enough to let a cavalryman come finish the job.

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Mivan gets another kill!

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The northwest corner of the map being what it is, I can't actually capture any of this in motion. Suffice to say outlaws... struggle for DPS in daylight.

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I start counting villages, miss one, frown, realise the windmill is a village too. This keeps fucking me up. Anyway, since the boss is dead, I guess, there's no line about whether or not there's brigands. Oh, and Dacyn having been attacked broke him out of his animation.

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And, it turns out, a lot more than that. So there's your 6D chess exploit for this map; get some cunt to bash up Dacyn a bit and he can move. Which, it occurs to me, he could've made the assassin kill a lot easier... Well, fuck it, the guy needed to be lanced anyway.

That's my first theory, and then I realise it's wrong, and it's actually the map being clever. Which checks out, because I thought I'd checked Dacyn. No, it's just that when the leader goes down, Dacyn... doesn't need to scan for bandits anymore, so he's free to move. That's good and handy, but a line would've been nice.

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Northwest village: after. We have a swordsman and a dragoon to our names now!

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I'm in no rush in the southeast. They gave me 20 turns and no early finish bonus, and just enough map to turn a profit. I'm not squandering that.

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A promotion for the beleagured Mivan.

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I skip one of Owaec's lines inadvertently. Oops. It was just something about the leaders being dead, though, from a glance.

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This and a profit of like 160 bucks? That's nice.

 

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2 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Gotta love when a map decides to randomly have mills function as actual villages rather then mere decoration as they normally are.

 

And you love it even more each time you get caught by that duck, one way or another.

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INVASION 7+8: Mammals of the order Chiroptera

Spoiler

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Another route-split. Great.

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It's tempting to piss off Dacyn and head straight for more skeletons, but on the other hand, I'm really tired of undead. Last map was the first good map of the campaign.

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The dialogue in EI has been... uninspired.

And two weeks later, we're back! Uni, right??

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Here's Owaec. He's solid, but uninspiring, with horseman resistance but a step slower.

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This is their recruitment on EP1. It's pathetic. We will carve through them on the strength of a single keep that includes two spearmen, one fresh.

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This guy's story does not end well.

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Nor this guy's.

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Well. Okay, if the boss insists on this being this short an update... who am I to resist? That said... that's a lot of damage there.

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Gotta love the knight attack frames.

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I don't even intend to give the warlord kill to the fresh spearman. It just kinda ... happens.

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That was a non-event. And frankly, if I'm giving followers a ping with the LP at this stage of clinging-to-life, it'd better be for an event.

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2. Caulk heavy infantry and float them across

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Lowkey still hate Dacyn. He's Delfador's attitude in the body of an inferior tier 2 wizard.

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Would we... want the ogres' help?

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No-one asked, Hyperrealistic Obelix.

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Damn. I kind of feel bad for making fun of that one orc way back in Legend for saying 'maneuvre'. On the bright side, the rarely-spotted Orcish Ruler, the unloved Charmeleon of the orcish leadership line. Great art.

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Okay. Dacyn crosses in seven turns, the other two in six. We have 24 turns and incentive to drag our heels.

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Gasp! He spawns a full keep of weak undead.

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Well, good fucking luck. I have 180ish more in the tank, though I'm currently haemorrhaging.

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"Yes, walking into a paladin in daylight is what we want to do."

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This is gonna be quick and brutal.

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The ogres, being terrible at everything, are getting their shit pushed in. Reminder that they have an attack of 5x3, while goblin spearmen, who cost 9 gold and have no upkeep, deal 6x3 and even have a single 3-damage javelin.

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Our opponent, a bone knight, is a valiant spriter's attempt to crowbar a revenant onto a horse, and it's not particularly pretty. They have 10% better blade resistance and, uh, take fully double damage from arcane, while every other skeleton - rider included - takes 'just' 50% extra.

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It's tempting, but the entire point of this side venture is to get experience, and wasting this guy in a single turn with a tier 3 rather destroys the point.
... tempting, though. And distracting to the point where I forget to actually move my lake-goers this turn.

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After cutting through some more grist, Owaec brains it and promotes.

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Owaec, whose defining feature is being an elite horseman, is six HP, four sword damage, four secondary damage, one movement and both traits down compared to a horseman. On the bright side, shock cuts down an opponent's counterattacks by one, which is an interesting effect. And, obviously, having a crushing sidearm is a lot more useful than a piercing one. Still, it doesn't stop him coming off as noticeably undertuned.

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The ogres are somewhat holding their own.

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First orc drifter gets hacked down.

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This turn is the breakthrough, and flushes out the ogre leader.

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And this is great and really funny until he summons a bunch of bats. Great. Like I don't still have waking nightmares about Delfador getting chewed up on a tundra. And the skeletons are gonna fan out and eat villages, too! Fuck!

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The attempted reboot of the sea orc met with slightly more success than the last, but still a crushing and brutal failure on the whole.

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SURPRISE!

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Bat.

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Boss.

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What do you think the blood bat will do here?
Do you think he'll attack the paladin again and get lanced to death, because, hell, I didn't, but, hell, it's what happens.

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Monster infighting gives the ogre some time. Dacyn makes landfall in three turns.

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Killing the boss doesn't end the map, but it does feel good, and clear up some houses to steal.

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Yeah, you heard the man, Dacyn! You fat old fuck!

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Ahh, the pathos.

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It's been a sidestory at best to the overall map, but after initially capturing the three southwestern houses, this bitch has been shivering in the corner as the second wave of undead approach.

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And now the economy has stabilised to -1, and Dacyn is One Tile from land. Time to mop up the experience we can.

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Not that there turns out to be a lot, as the scraps of each opposing faction mop one another up in the northeast.

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STRIFE

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Take a second to admire this crossbowman, who very nearly promoted to slurbow over the course of the map.

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I forget to give the southwest cavalryman a (slim) shot at killing his opponent, but it doesn't matter.

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No reloads, no casualties. THAT is an event worth updating.

 

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Well, there goes the Ogre homie. Not sure if you get any of the ogres after this.
And I could have sworn Grug dying was a failure condition. Oh well.

Edited by BrightBow

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The next map is going to be rounding up more ogres; apparently you skip it if you save the leader and just get ogres added to your recruit or recall list anyway.

I guess they're hypothetically good in caves, but the fact that they're really bad at fighting is kind of a damper.

Edited by Parrhesia

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Oh wow, so they are just going to enslave them? That... escalated quickly.
Seems like it should be a bigger deal if our heroes do something evil like that. But obviously it's not, seeing how it's an optional map and all.

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Wonder no more.

INVASION 9: ZoC-blocked

Spoiler

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Okay, this.. sure is a map, I suppose.

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You can apparently skip this map if you save the ogre last map, and instead just get some ogres catapulted into your recall list. Why you'd want to use ogres at all, God only knows. At this stage it's like if FE6 gave you Marcus fifteen chapters into the game. So, it's like Zealot. On the bright side, they're neutral and move readily through caves. So I guess I can bring them to a map to fight undead and trolls, still at a disadvantage, with their dinky 10x3 cleavers blunting hopelessly.

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If you pincer them, they're yours. Congratulations, I guess.

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Of course, nobody says you can't rough 'em up a bit first.

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By one metric, Kilknak and Gur are the least important ogres; they're intelligent, which is useless on a tier 2. By another metric, Kilknak and Gur are the most important ogres; they're strong, which means they have 69 health.

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We miss a few guys.

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Three is probably about par, considering how far they spread.

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Four escape. Roughly.

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Weird map. Fun enough, though. And, yes, pathetically tiny... but look, I already gave one double-update last time, and next map? Next map's going to be... well, something.

 

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INVASION 10: The social commentary hour

Spoiler

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I didn't skip any scenes. We just went from killing ogres to suddenly dwarves.

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We have arrived in the social commentary. Nobody is safe.

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Hey it's a-- wait, what? Okay, we'll deal with that later.

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Everything Dacyn has said since after the first map has been pretty much superfluous.

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Clunk.

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So, the green boss. There's only one reason for a tier 3 slayer to exist; for an orc campaign. And yet, here these annoying shitbags are only with actual damage potential and a ... a something description, that's for sure. Which I guess beats the agonisingly bland descriptions of the other custom units here. The last line is a pretty good joke, if the delivery kind of clunks (sense a theme?) but, uh... 'nightblades'? For a race that canonically finds the word 'arbalest' impenetrable?

Also, it's not technically a promotion off slayer, so I guess it's just for select mobs. Hopefully, just for this guy.

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Anyway, I'm back. As you can tell, I haven't really been doing a lot lately, Steamwise.

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We have to kill approximately a universe of guys. Terraent is already almost level '4'. There's a holy amulet, it will probably end up on Porcelain.

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As pretty much everything about the mission has tipped you off, monster infighting is in full effect.

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First blood en route northeast. I want to take out the dwarves first and let the orcs and elves chew on each other for a bit.

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Black and purple continue to beat the living shit out of each other.

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Things continue to play out well as the enemies focus on eating one another.

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I maintain formation and advance. Except in the east, where I retreat. I'm increasingly certain I can crush green and blue with some degree of ease.

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I'm banking on them wasting their energy on one another, and on my spearmen. They do. Taking a cautious tack here through the night is keeping us healthy for the day push to come.

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Meanwhile, in the west, note how tiny and pathetic this skirmish has become.

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Now with neutral phase on our side, we advance, inexorably.

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For reasons that are arcane to me, instead of picking off the nearly dead spearman on a village, they take out this cunt instead. And the nightblade charges out at us. With daylight coming. Shots bounce off our east, but we survive, thanks in large part to the obscene pierce defence of pikemen.

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The west is over. Pyrrhic victory for black, but holy shit, what if they can bag the leader, too??

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Ohhhh, it's tempting, believe me.

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The nightblade has a shitton of unique animations. I have no idea why, but this class was someone's darling.

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Good one, Yryn.

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Seems like both the elves and dwarves get some more cash when a rival boss goes down. They recruit about three more daves each. Disappointingly, the purple boss retreats.

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F for black.

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Progress on blue is agonisingly slow, as my infantry wheel around to crush the rest of black. I resolve to return the cavalry for the final push on purple.

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These middle turns are a proper slog. Day can't come soon enough.

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And when it does, we're in position to pick off two bosses at once.

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Boom.

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And we just miss the last remnant of black being picked off, a warrior.

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One rider decides it'd be a great idea to throw himself under the thundering hooves of our heavy cavalry. It doesn't go great for him. In the west, we tidy up.

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Elves ain't shit.

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The elven leader makes one of those errors that isn't conducive to long-term survival. His obscene evasion means we can't nail him immediately.

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In the process he shoots enough arrows into Owaec that he promotes. It follows the pattern of Owaec being a bit shit. Grand Knights get 78 HP, 12x4 longsword, 17x2 lance and, you know, traits. Paladins get the same 40 sword damage and mid-60s health, but the sword's arcane, they move faster, and they can heal. And have obscene arcane endurance.

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But his general shitness helps me finesse the kill for Gweddry.

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Weird but fun little huge map. Splitting off evenly was a mistake. Blue needed more guys to take them out. But, hey, it worked out and we got a fuckton of promotions. F for the one dead guy, an intelligent spearman. We won't be seeing the other two again, either, but they were still important fodder.

 

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Didn't expect Wesnoth to go all We Live In A Society like that. Given that it's pretty blindly adhering to the Tolkien-style of fantasy races I'm not sure it's the best venue for commentaries on racism lol

I didn't know there was some special Tier 3 for the Orcish Assassin that's just randomly relegated to being an NPC class. Kinda weird that the line just ends at Tier 2 if it's got a possible promotion available, but I guess the unit's annoying enough already.

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Welcome back to that LP, Parrhesia. And for your sake, I hope this particular campaign becomes able to mix undead opponents and nice maps. It's going to be a bit bad if the campaign can't scramble a good map for the main opponents.

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To have a map like this right after our supposed heroes decided to enslave some of the locals. Yeah, no clue why the local residents might be suspicious of outsiders. :dry:

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A relative newcomer to the world of Wesnoth, I somehow stumbled upon this LP about a week ago and just couldn't stop reading. And equally couldn't miss the opportunity to express my admiration for the project and its authors. Thank you, Parrhesia and Integrity! I've been enormously enjoying both your stratagems and hilarious commentary.

Edited by eglantine

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Thank you! I promise updates are coming again ... after this semester ends. Postgraduate degrees, turns out, Pretty Intense.

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