SoulWeaver Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Ok, did someone change their vote to give us a tie intentionally? This whole stressful-tiebreaker thing is starting to get a little old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 @TheSilentChloey Spoiler I did read this around the time it first came about. I think this was a cute little story. Not really sure there is much else I can say, other than me being slightly bothered by the eloping deal. Not sure I believe in Chrom being mad enough at this marriage to force that. @SoulWeaver Spoiler Honestly, Mega Man and this prompt go together very well. Not just the classic series, but also the X, Zero, and ZX series. I like how you tied in the songs as well, and how they reminded me of Megaman’s post-battle dialog with Wily in Megaman 7 and how Wily convinced the robot masters in Megaman 9. While I have not played too much of the games, I still appreciate this piece for what it is. So far, the Tartarans still has my vote, but I have one review left. But I have my D&D peeps waiting for me, so that will be later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 3, 2019 Author Share Posted August 3, 2019 19 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: Round 7 I believe wasn't actually out of the comfort zone. Add to that if I do anything I'll probably be slapped with a "oh god not another M piece" or some crap like that. Regardless, it was different. While I would recommend you keep the content of your submissions closer to the age rating stated in the opening post, I also feel that your concerns about such backlash are a bit exaggerated. At the very least they shouldn't restrain you from something you feel would be interesting. 16 hours ago, SoulWeaver said: Ok, did someone change their vote to give us a tie intentionally? This whole stressful-tiebreaker thing is starting to get a little old. The issue is quite compounded by the fact that I voted for you and you voted for me. None the less, as host and as myself, I feel an obligation to offer the victory to you in the event we remain tied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said: Regardless, it was different. While I would recommend you keep the content of your submissions closer to the age rating stated in the opening post, I also feel that your concerns about such backlash are a bit exaggerated. At the very least they shouldn't restrain you from something you feel would be interesting. The issue is quite compounded by the fact that I voted for you and you voted for me. None the less, as host and as myself, I feel an obligation to offer the victory to you in the event we remain tied. Oh I'm not exaggerating. Believe me when I say that. PG is not my forté and the inevitable result is what you're seeing here. Removing a lot of story elements is almost a necessity to pull them to PG territory I'm afraid because I've already had a certain Mod state they "tolerate" my more unrestrained writing style. So I am not going to poke a sleeping bear. 7 hours ago, Azure in a Roundabout said: @TheSilentChloey Reveal hidden contents I did read this around the time it first came about. I think this was a cute little story. Not really sure there is much else I can say, other than me being slightly bothered by the eloping deal. Not sure I believe in Chrom being mad enough at this marriage to force that. @SoulWeaver Reveal hidden contents Honestly, Mega Man and this prompt go together very well. Not just the classic series, but also the X, Zero, and ZX series. I like how you tied in the songs as well, and how they reminded me of Megaman’s post-battle dialog with Wily in Megaman 7 and how Wily convinced the robot masters in Megaman 9. While I have not played too much of the games, I still appreciate this piece for what it is. So far, the Tartarans still has my vote, but I have one review left. But I have my D&D peeps waiting for me, so that will be later. Removal of fangs for said story really makes it not so great hmm? I'll have to come back to this one and give it more depth later- and perhaps link to it for those who are genuinely interested in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 @Dragoncat Spoiler I remember you saying that it is the fear of repeated history that ties this story into the theme. And I think it works that way. Without Spyro around, how would they help the family this time? The dialog is Spyro-like. I haven’t even played the games, and I recognize the style. There is a shift in tone and mood during the sort of second act of the story, with the meeting between tribe leaders. I dunno. Maybe it’s me playing a lot of Three Houses as of late that recognizes the rise in politics then. Even still, this was a good story. In the end, my vote goes toward The Tartarans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 4 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: Oh I'm not exaggerating. Believe me when I say that. PG is not my forté and the inevitable result is what you're seeing here. Removing a lot of story elements is almost a necessity to pull them to PG territory You could also write stories featuring different elements, or focus towards a PG-13 range. In either case, the point of the competition is in part to challenge oneself, but I won't go on pushing that point. 4 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: I'm afraid because I've already had a certain Mod state they "tolerate" my more unrestrained writing style. So I am not going to poke a sleeping bear. Quote member title. 3 hours ago, Azure in a Roundabout said: In the end, my vote goes toward The Tartarans. A thank you to you and all the folks who enjoyed my story enough to vote for it. Y'all's prompt is: A duo of super criminals attempts a big job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 10 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said: Y'all's prompt is: A duo of super criminals attempts a big job. I think a definition would help others understand this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Azure in a Roundabout said: I think a definition would help others understand this. Ask and ye shall receive. Duo- A pair of two entities form the singular focus of the story, they may be a part of a larger group but it is the exploits of these two specifically which the narrative must focus on Super- Having abilities noticeably and distinctly beyond those of a normal real-world human, even if they are normal by the standards of their universe. Super-powered. Criminals- Either those continually involved in a life of crime up to that point or undertaking a criminal course of action during the story Attempts- May or may not succeed, the ultimate result is up to the author Big Job- A criminal activity of comparatively high importance or profitability relative to their normal criminal actions, such as a large scale heist or a plan to kidnap the president Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 (edited) 21 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: PG is not my forté and the inevitable result is what you're seeing here. Removing a lot of story elements is almost a necessity to pull them to PG territory I'm afraid because I've already had a certain Mod state they "tolerate" my more unrestrained writing style. So I am not going to poke a sleeping bear. You act like there is no inbetween Barney and Game of Thrones. Your country is stricter, but please do not assume the whole internet is. Idk, I may have told you this before, but I don't remember a response. Remember Declawed? There was literally prostitution in the backstory of that. And one of Shob's entries had people accuse Maribelle of being Chrom's harlot. Did anybody complain? No. We don't want you to write Barney, and Game of Thrones would be M rated and not acceptable. Write Zelda or Fire Emblem, or Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, stuff like that. Don't remove story elements because they allude to M rated material. Just don't describe them in detail. If you need help you can ask me. EDIT - Oh and Ana also had a guy fall off a cliff and die in her entry. So there's another example. Edited August 4, 2019 by Dragoncat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 17 minutes ago, Dragoncat said: EDIT - Oh and Ana also had a guy fall off a cliff and die in her entry. So there's another example. There's like a billion kids movies where people fall off a cliff and die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interdimensional Observer Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Just now, AnonymousSpeed said: There's like a billion kids movies where people fall off a cliff and die. Isn't that one of the teardrop moments of the now-in-theaters remake of The Lion King? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Well, even with the description, I do not have any series to base off that I can do justice. So maybe I’ll wait until voting phase to see how things pan out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 1 minute ago, Azure in a Roundabout said: Well, even with the description, I do not have any series to base off that I can do justice. So maybe I’ll wait until voting phase to see how things pan out. You could make a work in an original setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 4 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: You could make a work in an original setting. Well, I just thought I’d take a little break for now. I have Three Houses to play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 (edited) 40 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: There's like a billion kids movies where people fall off a cliff and die. Yes but it's perfectly fine for people to fall off a cliff and die in children cartoons if they do the funni scrim first. Edited August 4, 2019 by Rapier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said: There's like a billion kids movies where people fall off a cliff and die. 1 hour ago, Interdimensional Observer said: Isn't that one of the teardrop moments of the now-in-theaters remake of The Lion King? 35 minutes ago, Rapier said: Yes but it's perfectly fine for people to fall off a cliff and die in children cartoons if they do the funni scrim first. I should have clarified. Ana's entry showed the bloody corpse, which isn't shown in Disney. Tarzan shows Clayton's shadow hanging from a vine, but that's as close as it goes. In hindsight I guess a better example of violence that was okay was Otts' entry with the guillotine and the head rolling into the bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 3 hours ago, Dragoncat said: I should have clarified. Ana's entry showed the bloody corpse, which isn't shown in Disney. Tarzan shows Clayton's shadow hanging from a vine, but that's as close as it goes. In hindsight I guess a better example of violence that was okay was Otts' entry with the guillotine and the head rolling into the bucket. You know, this discussion reminds me of how there was originally going to be more graphic violence. Instead of just gashes and cuts, I originally had Oboro lose some flesh off of her elbow. Of course, the blow that did her in was pretty brutal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Azure in a Roundabout said: You know, this discussion reminds me of how there was originally going to be more graphic violence. Instead of just gashes and cuts, I originally had Oboro lose some flesh off of her elbow. Of course, the blow that did her in was pretty brutal. 3 hours ago, Dragoncat said: I should have clarified. Ana's entry showed the bloody corpse, which isn't shown in Disney. Tarzan shows Clayton's shadow hanging from a vine, but that's as close as it goes. In hindsight I guess a better example of violence that was okay was Otts' entry with the guillotine and the head rolling into the bucket. I mean in my winning entry I also described a spear poking out of a person's stomach and drenched in blood. It wasn't in too much detail mind you but it gets the idea across and it doesn't take a whole lot of imagination to imagine how graphic a scene that would be to look at Edit: Oh right that entry I remember that. Yeah I was really proud of that scene. Graphic enough to get the idea across but not crossing any lines. It's all a matter of balance. Honestly I feel it's better to leave those sorts of things up to the reader's imagination. It's more fun that way. Edited August 5, 2019 by Ottservia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulWeaver Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 9 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said: Ask and ye shall receive. Duo- A pair of two entities form the singular focus of the story, they may be a part of a larger group but it is the exploits of these two specifically which the narrative must focus on Super- Having abilities noticeably and distinctly beyond those of a normal real-world human, even if they are normal by the standards of their universe. Super-powered. Criminals- Either those continually involved in a life of crime up to that point or undertaking a criminal course of action during the story Attempts- May or may not succeed, the ultimate result is up to the author Big Job- A criminal activity of comparatively high importance or profitability relative to their normal criminal actions, such as a large scale heist or a plan to kidnap the president /slowclaps I might give this a try, I've recently(read: within the last 24 hours) decided I now subscribe to the Elijarn ship and need to write it out because as far as I know it doesn't actually exist yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 38 minutes ago, Ottservia said: Honestly I feel it's better to leave those sorts of things up to the reader's imagination. It's more fun that way. Pretty sure that's more of a standard for violence than sex. Like George RR Martin once summed it up well by saying it's always gonna be unpleasant to be slashed in the gut or have your head chopped off, but sex can go either way, and people normally prefer detailed descriptions of sex over violence. Also a thing with the author's preference, like you can fade to black at the bedroom door or follow them in, but even if you follow them in you can describe everything or leave it to the imagination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulWeaver Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Alright, I've got two ideas that might work, the only question now is how long it's going to take me to write Elijarn - it's proving something of a tricky one due to, you know, Eliwood kind of having a specific potential-wife-pool to select from. Luckily Laegjarn is somewhat similar to Lyndis in personality so I think it's doable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I don't know how I'll go with this theme. It's not my cup of tea, but I'll see what I can come up with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 19 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said: I don't know how I'll go with this theme. It's not my cup of tea, but I'll see what I can come up with... Just asking if you saw any of the discussion and advice about how to do R rated things PG/13 without gutting the piece? Please don't ignore it. It's solid and sincere advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 20 hours ago, SoulWeaver said: /slowclaps I might give this a try, I've recently(read: within the last 24 hours) decided I now subscribe to the Elijarn ship and need to write it out because as far as I know it doesn't actually exist yet. Another prompt which I considered was "make the most creative crack pairing," so I guess you get an extra point or something. Looking forward to Eliwood Bonus Doubling his way to kidnapping the president. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 (edited) Question @AnonymousSpeed Do the characters have to be superpowered? Edited August 6, 2019 by Ottservia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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