SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix

[Ottservia]

9 minutes ago, Benice said:

I can tell that this was rushed, btu I will say that it's still probably the most entertaining entry thus far. Also, the title kind of made it not a surprise at all. Next time, make sure you add all of the commas and stuff. The good news is that the commas were the only things that were consistently missed. Good job!

I was trying to play around with trashy isekai and light novel tropes so that's why the title is the way it is. Most light novel titles are basically long sentences that pretty much rattle off the off the premise of the story(for example some "Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon?" or "Reborn as a vending machine, I now wander the dungeons" or even "The Hero And His Elf Bride Open A Pizza Parlor In A Another World") so I was trying to replicate that. Usually in these kind of isekai setups, truck-kun is the one to do the protagonist in but not this time. Also he didn't die heroically so... like I said I really don't know what it is I wrote here. I've been busy and I didn't have much time to finish this so that's why it's rushed. But I appreciate the kind words.

Edited February 23, 2020 by Ottservia

[Azure the Scale Tipper]

25 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

The Time I Heroically Died Saving My Cute Little Sister Only To Be Reincarnated As A Demon Lord In Another World

Original

word count: 1,754

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“Big brother! Come on wake up!” I heard my sister’s voice call out to me.

 

“Just five more minutes! Please!” I groan and pull the covers over my face.

 

“Big Brother!” she whined, “GET UP!” I hear before a large wooden object slammed against my side. 

 

My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as my body was sent spiraling in a whirlwind of blankets towards the hardwood floor.

 

“Geez, sis…” I groan as I force my aching body to sit up. I clutch my head and shook the world back into place.  “Was that really necessary?”

 

My sister let out a cute little huff as she moved the wooden bat over her shoulder. “Well I wouldn’t have to go to such extremes if you just got up when I asked the first time, Kaito” 

 

“Oh come on what happened to the ‘big brother’ from earlier?” I look up and frown at her.

 

“What the hell do you take me for?! The cute and innocent little sister from one of your trashy harem light novels?!” She laughed, “Ha! I only called you that so you’d get out of bed quicker! You’re such a pervert, You know that!”

 

“Hey, I’m a man of culture! I’m not degenerate enough to-”

 

“Yeah yeah whatever” She waved her hand dismissively, “Just get dressed, we’re gonna be late for school,” She said as she walked out of the room.

 

“Geez that girl” I sighed as I picked myself up, “oh well, she’s cute at least”

 

“I heard that!!” She shouted like a fierce lioness from down the stairs. 

 

My body froze like a statue as my face faded with a growing sense of fear. I-It’s probably best not to make her angry. 

 

----

I cover my mouth in a wide yawn before flipping another page from the light novel in my hand. A cacophony of chatter, growling engines, and honking horns scatter to the air around me.

 

“Man what a disappointment”, I say with a sigh as I close the book in my hands, “and here I thought I finally found something good! But nope just another cliche isekai with a cliche setup and premise. Hardly any of the girls are cute either. I mean there’s this one tsundere in it but she’s just so horribly done it hurts”

 

“Honestly I don’t get why you even read that crap” My sister speaks up with a glance in my direction. “If it’s all so terrible why not just stop buying it?”

 

“Says the girl who secretly reads BL manga and otome visual novels”

 

I glance down to see a flush of red smear across her face, “Y-You know about that?! B-But I thought I hid the-”

 

“well? “ I laughed, “I’d hardly call the deepest part of the uppermost kitchen cabinet a ‘good’ hiding spot”

 

She puffed out her cheeks and scowled at me, “Well it’s a better hiding spot than under the futon...”

 

My body freezes over once again as a torrent of sweat began to pour down my face. W-Wait she didn’t just say that she…

 

“Wh-When did…”

 

“The other day when I went back to take back that manga you ‘borrowed’ from me” She sighed,  “geez Kaito you’re such a perv”

 

“Well, you weren’t even supposed to see any of what was under there!” My arms swayed from side to side as the whole upper half of my body deflated with a sigh, “please tell me you didn’t read that doujin”

 

“Oh calm down, I only read the one where-mmpghgg”

 

Without thinking, my hands immediately go to cover her mouth as dozens of eyes look over in our direction.

I look around and try to curl my lips into the most convincing smile I can muster, “Oh sis don’t talk with your mouth full, that’s very rude”

 

“I wavshwent tawlkung wilf-”

 

“Shhh be quiet! You do realize we’re in public, right?” I whispered into her ear, “So don’t say another word, got it!” 

 

I see her nod as I remove my hands from her mouth. I breathe a sigh of relief as the people around us go back to their business.

 

“Geez sis, you really gotta learn to keep your mouth shut”

 

She scowled at me again, “Says you! You’re the one who started it!”

 

“What?! This whole thing was your fault!”

 

“Are you some kind of idiot?!” She let out an exasperated sigh, “Whatever, let’s just hurry up and get to school” She said as she began to cross the road.

 

“Hey wait! The light says not to…” and as I try to call out to her from the corner of my eye, I see a large garbage truck speeding its way towards the very same crosswalk.

 

My heart momentarily stops as my mind raced on what to do. For a moment, time seemed to stop. Before I could even think, my feet began to move.

 

“RIN LOOK OUT!!!!” I scream out as loud as I can.

 

Everything beyond that was a blur. I felt a huge blast of wind as a loud honk exploded into my ears. I felt myself descend to the ground only for my face to land into something round and soft. Slowly, the world begins to come back to me as a symphony of murmurs once again fills my ears. My lips breathe a muffled groan as I peel myself from wherever I landed. I shake my head and open my eyes to see my sister’s flustered face.

 

I curve my lips into a soft smile, “Are you alright?”

 

“Y-You damn pervert!!” She shouts before kicking me in the groin as I tumble to the side. After that everything went black.

 

----

I open my eyes and find myself in a white room seemingly made of clouds. I’m sitting in a small wooden chair and in front of me is a large desk. A blonde girl who looks to be no more than 13 or 14 years of age sits on the other side.

 

“Finally awake, are we?” The girl says with a smile.

 

“Yeah, I guess but where am I?”

 

“Let’s just call it purgatory”

 

Purgatory? Wait does that mean…

 

The gears in my head begin to turn as I piece together what was happening.

 

“WAIT ARE YOU SAYING I DIED?!” I say as I nearly fall out of my chair. “HOW?!”

 

“M-more or less,” The girl says with a nervous look on her face, “After you almost got hit by that truck you seem to have died from shock after your sister kinda…yeah…”

 

“You can’t be serious…” I say with a sigh as I deflate into my chair. “Geez Rin, how could you get your brother killed like that”

 

“Well it happened, nothing you can do about it now, right?”

 

I breathe another sigh, “I suppose, so what happens now?”

 

“Well…” She says as she dons some reading glasses and begins flipping through a spiral notebook. “Since it would appear you lived your life as an average shut-in otaku with literally no charisma whatsoever”

 

I wince as she begins to rattle off how much of a loser I was when I was alive.

 

“You will be granted the opportunity to be reincarnated in another world”

My ears perk up at the sound of those words, “Wait really? You’re serious?”

 

The girl nods, “Yep, completely serious”

 

“WOOHOO!!” I cry out as I leap from my chair, “I always knew my life would turn into an isekai one day and it’s finally happening!!”

 

“I wonder what’ll happen to me. Will I be reincarnated as an all-powerful slime? Or maybe a fierce adventurer tasked with slaying the demon lord? Maybe I’ll wander dungeons with a bunch of cute girls as a vending machine! Oh, the possibilities are endless!!” I slam my hands on the desk and look at the blonde girl, “So, how does this work?”

 

“Well first, I’m gonna need to sign this form here” She slides a piece of paper over to me.

 

“Okay…” I pull out a pen and scribble my signature at the bottom. “Then what?”

 

“Then I simply pull this lever and whatever happens next is completely up to chance,” She says as she walks over to a large lever mounted on the wall.

 

“Up to chance? What do you mean…” However, before I could finish, the blonde secretary pulls the level and I immediately begin my rapid descent into the dark void below.

-----

“Where am I?” I groan as I slowly open my eyes.

 

I take a quick look around at my surroundings. It would appear I’m in some kind of dense forest. I look up and squint as the blinding light of the sun stings my eyes. I wonder what kind of world I ended up in. I look down at my hands only to be frozen in shock at what I see. Claws?! Why do I have claws? And why are they shackled? Wait....

 

I reach up and feel around the top of my head. And sure enough, I feel what seems to be large ram horns at the side of my head. D-Did I reincarnate as some kind of demon? Is this what she meant by ‘left up to chance’?

 

“There he is! I found him!”

 

 

I turn over to the source of the shout to see a warrior clad in steel armor that shimmered in the sun’s light. A few more soldiers appear from behind him.

 

“Yeah that’s him alright!” another soldier says.

 

“Your time has come demon lord!” Another one shouts as he pulls out a sword and lunges at me.

 

“W-Wait hold on, I’m not...ahhh!” I raise my shackled arms in defense. My eyes crinkle shut as I brace myself for my inevitable doom. Great not five minutes in this new world and I’m already gonna die!

 

However, a moment passed and all I hear is the clang of metal. 

 

“Are you alright my lord?” I hear a voice ask.

 

Slowly, I open my eyes to find that the chains that connected my cuffs have been sliced in half. I lower my hands to see that same soldier bowing before me.

 

“I apologise if I was rough but if I didn’t strike with full force, I would’ve never have broken your bindings”

 

“It’s fine…” 

 

The other soldiers crowd around me.

 

“Are you alright my lord?” one asks.

 

“The demons didn’t hurt you too badly, I hope?”

 

“My lord, I’m so glad you’re alright”

 

What the hell is going on? What kind of world did I end up in?

Post read notes

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I have no idea what the fuck it is I wrote here cause it's just terrible and I kinda hate it. I wrote it in like a day and a half. I really don't what this is or what demon possessed me to make it. Oh well a finished product is better than no product. I tried to go for something stupid and ridiculous here though but I had no idea what the fuck I was doing especially with the ladder half of it. all in all this entry is a fucking mess and I hate it.

Also, @Azure loves his Half Elves and @SoulWeaver what do you guys think of my title?

Yup, very light novel like.

Spoiler

Honestly, Kaito dying from getting decked in the nuts (or, rather, the shock after) caught me off guard more than the soldiers coming to free him.

 

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, Azure loves his Half Elves said:

Yup, very light novel like.

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Honestly, Kaito dying from getting decked in the nuts (or, rather, the shock after) caught me off guard more than the soldiers coming to free him.

 

yeah the ending is stupid and rushed and I hate it. I just didn't know how else to end it though.

[Benice]

26 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

I was trying to play around with trashy isekai and light novel tropes so that's why the title is the way it is. Most light novel titles are basically long sentences that pretty much rattle off the off the premise of the story(for example some "Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon?" or "Reborn as a vending machine, I now wander the dungeons" or even "The Hero And His Elf Bride Open A Pizza Parlor In A Another World") so I was trying to replicate that. Usually in these kind of isekai setups, truck-kun is the one to do the protagonist in but not this time. Also he didn't die heroically so... like I said I really don't know what it is I wrote here. I've been busy and I didn't have much time to finish this so that's why it's rushed. But I appreciate the kind words.

Yeah, I'll also say that I'm probably not qualified for my criticisms regarding the plot as I am completely in the dark on what a "light novel" is. Or what an Isekai is. Or what a Harem manga is. I don't thunk I need to know that last one, though. I also get the vibe regarding rushed endings. (Cough cough ho ho no cough cough)

[Ottservia]

5 minutes ago, Benice said:

Yeah, I'll also say that I'm probably not qualified for my criticisms regarding the plot as I am completely in the dark on what a "light novel" is. Or what an Isekai is. Or what a Harem manga is. I don't thunk I need to know that last one, though. I also get the vibe regarding rushed endings. (Cough cough ho ho no cough cough)

Light novels are basically what sound like. Short Japanese novels with anime like illustrations sprinkled throughout. Isekai is a "genre" of anime and light novel that depicts a character being transported to another world by some means. Most modern iterations are basically just wish fulfillment harem stories about a shut in otaku being sucked into a video game and winding in a fantasy world with video game mechanics and they have a harem of cute anime girls that fawn over them though there are a few diamonds in the rough(Like Re:Zero for instance)

[Anacybele]

Ottservia's entry is certainly something, I'll say that. lol

If anyone cares, I made a pic of Kael to go with my entry. The art is in my art thread. Writing that story made me want to draw him. 😛

[Benice]

Only half an hour until voting phase! I still have no idea who i'm gonna vote for...

[AnonymousSpeed]

The Scourer

Spoiler

The Ending Winter had chilled the entire continent.
Ilia, already a frozen land, was so cold and so plagued by blizzards that not even the Ice Dragons could survive there.

Man, however, could. Up to a certain latitude, at least.

Coats of beast skin and warm blooded bodies, insulated tents in which fires could be build. The techniques for surviving the harsh cold were first the providence of the ice dragons, but the humans had taken these inventions and adapted them into superior forms more suited for their use.

The wind howled and whipped. Snow flew from above and from every side, and even seemed to rise up from beneath. The clouds of the storm were so thick that dusk nearly seemed to be night. A tent made of caribou skin was tucked in a small grove of pine trees, now corpses, steadfast against the assault of snow. One could barely hear the barking of dogs above the gales.

Within the tent, a man huddled around a small fire. He pulled a heavy sealskin coat tightly around him and sat as close to the crackling flames as he could make himself.

He got cold easily. He couldn't afford to go too long without warming up, not in this part of the continent.

Still, there was hunting to be done. Warm as the fire was, he couldn't sit near it forever. He stood up from the log which had been his stool and ducked under the single small doorway of the tent. "Inside, boys," ordered the man. The two huskies quickly abandoned their guarding post and ran in to warm up. The man pulled a bronze spyglass from his coat and held it near his eye, the already cold metal hovering millimeters away from his skin, and peered out towards the north.

A small spec walked towards the horizon. His prey. A dragon. The man had stalked the manakete from as far away as he could while still keeping track of them. It had taken days of his life, and now he was going to just let them walk away.

They were as good as dead. No sense chasing them any further. Even a human with a coat like his would struggle where the dragon was going. In nothing but its robes, it stood no chance.

He sighed in relief. He and the dogs could make their way to a proper settlement.
He was quite looking forward to a warm night in an inn. At the moment, he didn't even mind the thought of paying for a room.

***

Though snow still blanketed the town, the air was still. Bare skin still stung in its embrace, but after spending so long in the blizzards, it felt like a spring had finally come to Ilia.

The man walked to the inn- it was a small town and so there was only one. He tied his dogs to a post at the entrance and pushed open a heavy wooden door. Once inside, he quickly removed his coat and shook off his boots, then walked to the small counter inside.

"Good afternoon, Hananiah," greeted the woman at the counter. "How'd your hunt go?"
"I would say it was a success," said the man with a synthetic smile. "Chased it so far north, it's probably hit the ocean by now."
"Not at all a surprise! Good to know there's at least a few good hunters around." 
"Hah, you're too kind, but we can't let those damn dragons have run of the place, can we?"
"I guess not. Sometimes I do feel a little bad for them, but, you know."
"If it's between us and them, I'd pick us too."
"Right."
"Anyway. Can I get a room, and some of that hot wine you made last time I was here?"

Hananiah sat at a table with a mug of mulled wine. He couldn't help but overhear a conversation from a few tables over.
"There's not enough grain in Ilia for all the villages."
"We can get grain from the rest of Elibe."
"We can't do that forever. Once this war is over, the population will go up. Everyone all their grain to feed them."
"Once this war is over, there won't be any dragons burning the damn farms up. Production will compensate, and there will be more men working the farms. It'll all work out."
"Your naive."
"You don't have any reason to say that. You just like to be cynical."

***

"Hananiah. You are well."

Hananiah turned around to see the form of a man with short red hair, garbed in a soft looking robe. Hananiah had to admit that he had always been jealous of Jahn's robes, they seemed very comfortable, but never could he find out where they were tailored."Truly, Jahn, even one who flees from you cannot flee from your illusions."

Jahn nodded.

"A plan has been made. The numbers of the humans are among their critical advantages."
Hananiah bit his tongue and let Jahn continue.
"Should we create war dragons, we will take this advantage from them. Then our strength will overcome them."

"Have you come to me to ask that I make you an army?"
"Only a divine dragon has the power to do so."
"I will not."

Jahn almost seemed surprised. "You will not help us against the humans?"
"'Help'? 'Us?' I see no outcome in which dragons triumph. Elibe belongs to the humans now."

The two narrowed their eyes."If you will not partake in our plan, we will find another divine dragon. You will die with the rest of them."
"No, Jahn." He sighed. "No. I am not ready to die. I cannot help you."

So it was that they knew they were enemies in the war for all Elibe. In spite of this, they were each more frustrated at the other disagreeing with them than they were angry about their conflict. That was one facet of being a dragon which Hananiah would perhaps never overcome.

***

The winds howled and whipped. Sand flew from above and from every side, and even seemed to rise up from beneath. The dusts of the storm were so thick that even the brightness of the desert noon seemed as dusk. Braving the scratching winds, firmly holding his linen cloak in place, Hananiah marched onward until he finally came to a small oasis.

Arcadia. A city stowed away in the desert, where man and dragon lived in peace, and of which there was little else worth mentioning. A quiet place where there was nothing worth fighting over.

Hananiah had heard rumors that the Demon Dragon was among the peaceful inhabitants. It was an absurd sounding thing, but he deemed it necessary to investigate.

He passed the stone gates and entered the secluded settlement, ignoring many gazes, most confused and some scornful. Hananiah came to a small stand which sold cactus fruits gathered from the dunes. "Excuse me," he said plainly, interrupting the bartering of two Arcadians. "Where is the elder?"
The stand owner looked at him with annoyance. "I'm trying to conduct business, outsider."
"I have very pressing questions to ask him."
The shopkeep seemed to roll his eyes. "Well, he spends most of his days around the archives. Do you need directions there?"
"I remember where they are. Thank you."
"Wait, what do you mean remember?"

Hananiah had already left.

Soon enough he startled a very old looking man with his presence.
"Hananiah?" asked the old man. "You return to us?"
"I have come to see the Demon Dragon."
"You mean Idunn?"
"Whether she is called by one name or the other, I have come to see her."

The elder eyed Hananiah cautiously. The latter had never been a friend to Arcadia, and his intentions were often difficult to discern. That said, Hananiah was not one to make unnecessary trouble. "Alright then," the old man replied. "I'll show you to her." So he lead him towards a chamber were Idunn often was.

"Do you remember how she was during the Scouring?" asked the elder as the walked.
"I do."
"She has improved much since then. She has learned again how to laugh."
"It is better to never forget."
"...yes. It is something I regret, that we did not try and rescue her from this fate. We are doing all we can to restore her. It is small recompense, but it is all we can do."
"How very compassionate," he said plainly. "Has she transformed since she came here?"
"She has not! I do not even know if she still can. Much has befallen the poor girl."
"I have heard as much."

They finally arrived at the chamber. The elder opened the door, signalling Hananiah to enter a room filled with pillows. In the middle of it, sitting atop a very large cushion, was Idunn. There was a small book on her lap, and a very short dragon standing beside her.

The two up looked at Hananiah.
"Who are you?" asked the smaller one.
"I am called Hananiah. You are are Fa?" There were some other syllables said, but none intelligible in human language.
"Wow! You know my name! My whole name! How did you do that?"
"I saw you once, when you were very young." Hananiah indicated towards Idunn. "I have come to see her. May I have a moment?"
"Aw, but we were reading..." None the less, sulking as it may have been, Fa went to the elder's side and stayed out of the room.

Hananiah walked up to the Demon Dragon.
"You are Idunn?"
"...I am."
He stared at her plainly, and she stared back at him even more so. Her eyes were of two different colors, glassy and blank. "I have heard you are a very powerful dragon."
"Yes...I was told that too."

Hananiah circled Idunn and began to take inventory of the room. Along with pillows, dolls and wooden hoops where strewn about the floor.
"You are friends with Fa?"
"She is very nice to me. She likes to play games."
"She must have many friends."
"Yes. They come here to play sometimes."
"You must appreciate the company."
"Yes."

There was a small table tucked away in the back of the room, on which rested short stacks of picture books. He completed a lap and faced Idunn again. "Do you help them learn to read?"
The girl smiled. "They help me."
"How very kind of them."
"Yes. So many kind people...so many people here have been kind to me."
"You enjoy this place, then?"
"I do. When the storm goes away, you can feel a warm breeze outside. It's..."
"Pleasant?"
"I like it." Idunn rocked back and forth for a second. "...you seem odd. Familiar..."
"We have met in an age long past. I do not suspect you remember."

Idunn stopped in place, squinting. "I...I can't..."
"Do not worry about it. I would tell you, had we memories together."
"We have met. You said that."
"Long ago, and briefly. What did you do yesterday?"
"Fa was upset. There was a woman with...yellow hair. She could not find her. We pretended with the dolls. To help her forget."
"Has the woman returned?"
"No. I don't think..."
"What did you do the day before yesterday?"
"They brought us tea. I spilled it though...too hot." Idunn shuddered.

"...hm. Stay out of trouble." Hananiah turned around and left.

"Return to your friend," he told Fa. The young dragon did, and immediately began asking Idunn about the yellow haired woman again.

The elder whispered to Hananiah. "As you see, she is of no threat to anyone."
"Of course she is not. Even her full strength was defeated, and twice at that."
"Huh? Why did you come here, then?"
"It was an odd thing to hear, that the Demon Dragon resided in Arcadia and spent her time playing with small children. It would have been a great shame to not see for myself."

Hananiah walked off, and the elder trailed behind him. "Will you not stay, even for a little while longer?"
"I have seen what I came to see. There is nothing else worth staying for in Arcadia."
"Not even to be among your own kind-"
"There are no dragons in this place."

 

Edited February 8 by AnonymousSpeed

[Azure the Scale Tipper]

Just now, AnonymousSpeed said:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

The Ending Winter had chilled the entire continent.
Ilia, already a frozen land, was so cold and so plagued by blizzards that not even the Ice Dragons could survive there.

Man, however, could. Up to a certain latitude, at least.

Coats of beast skin and warm blooded bodies, insulated tents in which fires could be build. The techniques for surviving the harsh cold were first the providence of the ice dragons, but the humans had taken these inventions and adapted them into superior forms more suited for their use.

The wind howled and whipped. Snow flew from above and from every side, and even seemed to rise up from beneath. The clouds of the storm were so thick that dusk nearly seemed to be night. A tent made of caribou skin was tucked in a small grove of pine trees, now corpses, steadfast against the assault of snow. One could barely hear the barking of dogs above the gales.

Within the tent, a man huddled around a small fire. He pulled a heavy sealskin coat tightly around him and sat as close to the crackling flames as he could make himself.

He got cold easily. He couldn't afford to go too long without warming up, not in this part of the continent.

Still, there was hunting to be done. Warm as the fire was, he couldn't sit near it forever. He stood up from the log which had been his stool and ducked under the single small doorway of the tent. "Inside, boys," ordered the man. The two huskies quickly abandoned their guarding post and ran in to warm up. The man pulled a bronze spyglass from his coat and held it near his eye, the already cold metal hovering millimeters away from his skin, and peered out towards the north.

A small spec walked towards the horizon. His prey. A dragon. The man had stalked the manakete from as far away as he could while still keeping track of them. It had taken days of his life, and now he was going to just let them walk away.

They were as good as dead. No sense chasing them any further. Even a human with a coat like his would struggle where the dragon was going. In nothing but its robes, it stood no chance.

He sighed in relief. He and the dogs could make their way to a proper settlement.
He was quite looking forward to a warm night in an inn. At the moment, he didn't even mind the thought of paying for a room.

***

Though snow still blanketed the town, the air was still. Bare skin still stung in its embrace, but after spending so long in the blizzards, it felt like a spring had finally come to Ilia.

The man walked to the inn- it was a small town and so there was only one. He tied his dogs to a post at the entrance and pushed open a heavy wooden door. Once inside, he quickly removed his coat and shook off his boots, then walked to the small counter inside.

"Good afternoon, Hananiah," greeted the woman at the counter. "How'd your hunt go?"
"I would say it was a success," said the man with a synthetic smile. "Chased it so far north, it's probably hit the ocean by now."
"Not at all a surprise! Good to know there's at least a few good hunters around." 
"Hah, you're too kind, but we can't let those damn dragons have run of the place, can we?"
"I guess not. Sometimes I do feel a little bad for them, but, you know."
"If it's between us and them, I'd pick us.too."
"Right."
"Anyway. Can I get a room, and some of that hot wine you made last time I was here?"

Hananiah sat at a table with a mug of mulled wine. He couldn't help but overhear a conversation from a few tables over.
"There's not enough grain in Ilia for all the villages."
"We can get grain from the rest of Elibe."
"We can't do that forever. Once this war is over, the population will go up. Everyone all their grain to feed them."
"Once this war is over, there won't be any dragons burning the damn farms up. Production will compensate, and there will be more men working the farms. It'll all work out."
"Your naive."
"You don't have any reason to say that. You just like to be cynical."

***

"Hananiah. You are well."

Hananiah turned around to see the form of a man with short red hair, garbed in a soft looking robe. Hananiah had to admit that he had always been jealous of Jahn's robes, they seemed very comfortable, but never could he find out where they were tailored."Truly, Jahn, even one who flees from you cannot flee from your illusions."

Jahn nodded.

"A plan has been made. The numbers of the humans are among their critical advantages."
Hananiah bit his tongue and let Jahn continue.
"Should we create war dragons, we will take this advantage from them. Then our strength will overcome them."

"Have you come to me to ask that I make you an army?"
"Only a divine dragon has the power to do so."
"I will not."

Jahn almost seemed surprised. "You will not help us against the humans?"
"'Help'? 'Us?' I see no outcome in which dragons triumph. Elibe belongs to the humans now."

The two narrowed their eyes."If you will not partake in our plan, we will find another divine dragon. You will die with the rest of them."
"No, Jahn." He sighed. "No. I am not ready to die. I cannot help you."

So it was that they knew they were enemies in the war for all Elibe. In spite of this, they were each more frustrated at the other disagreeing with them than they were angry about their conflict. That was one facet of being a dragon which Hananiah would perhaps never overcome.

***

The winds howled and whipped. Sand flew from above and from every side, and even seemed to rise up from beneath. The dusts of the storm were so thick that even the brightness of the desert noon seemed as dusk. Braving the scratching winds, firmly holding his linen cloak in place, Hananiah marched onward until he finally came to a small oasis.

Arcadia. A city stowed away in the desert, where man and dragon lived in peace, and of which there was little else worth mentioning. A quiet place where there was nothing worth fighting over.

Hananiah had heard rumors that the Demon Dragon was among the peaceful inhabitants. It was an absurd sounding thing, but he deemed it necessary to investigate.

He passed the stone gates and entered the secluded settlement, ignoring many gazes, most confused and some scornful. Hananiah came to a small stand which sold cactus fruits gathered from the dunes. "Excuse me," he said plainly, interrupting the bartering of two Arcadians. "Where is the elder?"
The stand owner looked at him with annoyance. "I'm trying to conduct business, outsider."
"I have very pressing questions to ask him."
The shopkeep seemed to roll his eyes. "Well, he spends most of his days around the archives. Do you need directions there?"
"I remember where they are. Thank you."
"Wait, what do you mean remember?"

Hananiah had already left.

Soon enough he startled a very old looking man with his presence.
"Hananiah?" asked the old man. "You return to us?"
"I have come to see the Demon Dragon."
"You mean Idunn?"
"Whether she is called by one name or the other, I have come to see her."

The elder eyed Hananiah cautiously. The latter had never been a friend to Arcadia, and his intentions were often difficult to discern. That said, Hananiah was not one to make unnecessary trouble. "Alright then," the old man replied. "I'll show you to her." So he lead him towards a chamber were Idunn often was.

"Do you remember how she was during the Scouring?" asked the elder as the walked.
"I do."
"She has improved much since then. She has learned again how to laugh."
"It is better to never forget."
"...yes. It is something I regret, that we did not try and rescue her from this fate. We are doing all we can to restore her. It is small recompense, but it is all we can do."
"How very compassionate," he said plainly. "Has she transformed since she came here?"
"She has not! I do not even know if she still can. Much has befallen the poor girl."
"I have heard as much."

They finally arrived at the chamber. The elder opened the door, signalling Hananiah to enter a room filled with pillows. In the middle of it, sitting atop a very large cushion, was Idunn. There was a small book on her lap, and a very short dragon standing beside her.

The two up looked at Hananiah.
"Who are you?" asked the smaller one.
"I am called Hananiah. You are are Fa?" There were some other syllables said, but none intelligible in human language.
"Wow! You know my name! My whole name! How did you do that?"
"I saw you once, when you were very young." Hananiah indicated towards Idunn. "I have come to see her. May I have a moment?"
"Aw, but we were reading..." None the less, sulking as it may have been, Fa went to the elder's side and stayed out of the room.

Hananiah walked up to the Demon Dragon.
"You are Idunn?"
"...I am."
He stared at her plainly, and she stared back at him even more so. Her eyes were of two different colors, glassy and blank. "I have heard you are a very powerful dragon."
"Yes...I was told that too."

Hananiah circled Idunn and began to take inventory of the room. Along with pillows, dolls and wooden hoops where strewn about the floor.
"You are friends with Fa?"
"She is very nice to me. She likes to play games."
"She must have many friends."
"Yes. They come here to play sometimes."
"You must appreciate the company."
"Yes."

There was a small table tucked away in the back of the room, on which rested short stacks of picture books. He completed a lap and faced Idunn again. "Do you help them learn to read?"
The girl smiled. "They help me."
"How very kind of them."
"Yes. So many kind people...so many people here have been kind to me."
"You enjoy this place, then?"
"I do. When the storm goes away, you can feel a warm breeze outside. It's..."
"Pleasant?"
"I like it." Idunn rocked back and forth for a second. "...you seem odd. Familiar..."
"We have met in an age long past. I do not suspect you remember."

Idunn stopped in place, squinting. "I...I can't..."
"Do not worry about it. I would tell you, had we memories together."
"We have met. You said that."
"Long ago, and briefly. What did you do yesterday?"
"Fa was upset. There was a woman with...yellow hair. She could not find her. We pretended with the dolls. To help her forget."
"Has the woman returned?"
"No. I don't think..."
"What did you do the day before yesterday?"
"They brought us tea. I spilled it though...too hot." Idunn shuddered.

"...hm. Stay out of trouble." Hananiah turned around and left.

"Return to your friend," he told Fa. The young dragon did, and immediately began asking Idunn about the yellow haired woman again.

The elder whispered to Hananiah. "As you see, she is of no threat to anyone."
"Of course she is not. Even her full strength was defeated, and twice at that."
"Huh? Why did you come here, then?"
"It was an odd thing to hear, that the Demon Dragon resided in Arcadia and spent her time playing with small children. It would have been a great shame to not see for myself."

Hananiah walked off, and the elder trailed behind him. "Will you not stay, even for a little while longer?"
"I have seen what I came to see. There is nothing else worth staying for in Arcadia."
"Not even to be among your own kind-"
"There are no dragons in this place."

 

Dang, you did it in the nick of time!

I’ll read all of these when I have the time.

[AnonymousSpeed]

12 minutes ago, Azure loves his Half Elves said:

Dang, you did it in the nick of time!

Yep, it was a little bit hectic, but overall...it functions, I guess.

OP updated. Poll added. Entry titled.

[Ottservia]

Wanna know what I just realized? Not once did I have the protagonist narrate his life’s story and outright say he was an otaku. I have failed you trashy isekai genre!

also, one thing to note about my entry. The subversion of expectation is more so in how he dies rather than the ending itself.

Edited February 24, 2020 by Ottservia

[Benice]

My last bit of feedback, then!

 

@AnonymousSpeed

I gotta say, this makes me want to play FE6. However, since I haven't the majority of it flew right over my head. I still found it entertaining, which is quite a feat on your part. The only valid thing I have to say is: I didn't get the twist. Apologies for the really bad feedback, but as I said, nothing I said is really that valid.

Edited February 26, 2020 by Benice

[AnonymousSpeed]

13 hours ago, Benice said:

I gotta say, this makes me want to play FE6. However, since I haven't the majority of it flew right over my head. I still found it entertaining, which is quite a feat on your part. The only valid thing I have to say is: I didn't get the twist. Apologies for the really bad feedback, but as I said, nothing I said is really that valid.

That's alright. You should definitely play FE6 though. I would go so far as to consider it the peak of the series. Not merely my favorite, but well above everything else.

[Benice]

44 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

That's alright. You should definitely play FE6 though. I would go so far as to consider it the peak of the series. Not merely my favorite, but well above everything else.

Just wondering, why do you think that? I've heard many complaints about it, such as our boy having bad strength and the lack of supports. I am certainly gonna play it at some point, I'm just curious.

[AnonymousSpeed]

3 hours ago, Benice said:

Just wondering, why do you think that? I've heard many complaints about it, such as our boy having bad strength and the lack of supports. I am certainly gonna play it at some point, I'm just curious.

FE6 is a great example of how a brief overview of a game is often a poor indicator of its quality. While there's a lot of complaints about the axe hit rates and ambush spawns, the map and unit design are absolutely top notch.

Some of the busiest (and thus most engaging) chapters I've ever played are in FE6. Every map is seize, sure, but that doesn't mean you can approach them all the same way. There's a plethora of units to pick from, fulfilling nearly every niche you could want.

Ambush spawns are no threat unless you're hard turtling. Axe hit rates are a little shaky but the game is largely balanced around those hit rates. The lower average hit rates actually make swords and the skill stat useful. Roy's not a great combat unit, but that's not the point of Roy. Roy is the boy you need to figure out how to get to the throne, if he was Sigurd or Ike then the core objective of each map would be trivialized. Honestly speaking, a lot of the changes FE7 made which became standard are downgrades in game design, but I could write a whole essay on that.

[Benice]

4 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

FE6 is a great example of how a brief overview of a game is often a poor indicator of its quality. While there's a lot of complaints about the axe hit rates and ambush spawns, the map and unit design are absolutely top notch.

Some of the busiest (and thus most engaging) chapters I've ever played are in FE6. Every map is seize, sure, but that doesn't mean you can approach them all the same way. There's a plethora of units to pick from, fulfilling nearly every niche you could want.

Ambush spawns are no threat unless you're hard turtling. Axe hit rates are a little shaky but the game is largely balanced around those hit rates. The lower average hit rates actually make swords and the skill stat useful. Roy's not a great combat unit, but that's not the point of Roy. Roy is the boy you need to figure out how to get to the throne, if he was Sigurd or Ike then the core objective of each map would be trivialized. Honestly speaking, a lot of the changes FE7 made which became standard are downgrades in game design, but I could write a whole essay on that.

Makes sense. Thanks for explaining!

 

Also pls, someone feed the back.

Edited February 27, 2020 by Benice

[Jotari]

10 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

FE6 is a great example of how a brief overview of a game is often a poor indicator of its quality. While there's a lot of complaints about the axe hit rates and ambush spawns, the map and unit design are absolutely top notch.

Some of the busiest (and thus most engaging) chapters I've ever played are in FE6. Every map is seize, sure, but that doesn't mean you can approach them all the same way. There's a plethora of units to pick from, fulfilling nearly every niche you could want.

Ambush spawns are no threat unless you're hard turtling. Axe hit rates are a little shaky but the game is largely balanced around those hit rates. The lower average hit rates actually make swords and the skill stat useful. Roy's not a great combat unit, but that's not the point of Roy. Roy is the boy you need to figure out how to get to the throne, if he was Sigurd or Ike then the core objective of each map would be trivialized. Honestly speaking, a lot of the changes FE7 made which became standard are downgrades in game design, but I could write a whole essay on that.

Please do, because I'm largely in agreement with you.

[Ottservia]

I'm surprised by the lack of feedback this past week. I suppose everyone's been busy. I know I have but I found time to read a couple entries so here are some of my thoughts.

@Anacybele

Talk no jutsu! talk no jutsu! No seriously that pretty much sums up most of my thoughts on this whole thing. It's not a bad piece and I did enjoy it but I don't really see how it fits into the prompt. I mean I can sort of see what you were doing here but I think the main issue is the lack of sufficient build up either that or the pay off is lacking something. One or the other. I feel like you could've made Kael's anger a little more palpable or make it more ambiguous as to what he's going to say to Cissy before he says if that makes sense. I dunno something's missing from this piece and I don't know what. I enjoyed the story but the execution of how it fit into the prompt could've been better. 

@Benice

This isn't a bad story but I have one major complaint here. If you want to write something emotional be descriptive. Like whenever you tried to play up the emotions, it only really lasted for like a sentence at most and that's the main issue here. If you want me to feel things then you gotta really dig into the character's thoughts and emotions to really truly draw them out. Don't just say he started sobbing and leave it at that. Give me more! You did a good job with the flashback because it's a good flashback but like really try to make me feel his sadness, his pain. When he can't bring down his lance to kill the rebel. Linger on that moment for a little more. Tell me everything that's going on inside his head. Why can't he bring down the lance? Does he want to but his body won't listen? what's going on here? Again if you want me to feel something here, you'll have to be a little more descriptive than " Blanick was a very strong man, but in that moment, he didn't have the power to lower his lance". It's a problem that's pretty persistent throughout the whole thing especially at the end. Other than that though, it's fine.

I'll get to the other stories later

[Anacybele]

9 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

I'm surprised by the lack of feedback this past week. I suppose everyone's been busy. I know I have but I found time to read a couple entries so here are some of my thoughts.

Well, there are several more entries to read this time than before and yeah, life's a thing too. xP

9 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Talk no jutsu! talk no jutsu! No seriously that pretty much sums up most of my thoughts on this whole thing. It's not a bad piece and I did enjoy it but I don't really see how it fits into the prompt. I mean I can sort of see what you were doing here but I think the main issue is the lack of sufficient build up either that or the pay off is lacking something. One or the other. I feel like you could've made Kael's anger a little more palpable or make it more ambiguous as to what he's going to say to Cissy before he says if that makes sense. I dunno something's missing from this piece and I don't know what. I enjoyed the story but the execution of how it fit into the prompt could've been better. 

Uh...what do you mean by "talk no jutsu"? I hope it's not bad.

But yeah, I figured this wouldn't perfectly fit the prompt. The surprise was supposed to be Kael deciding to let Cissy go instead of kicking her ass like he'd originally planned, but I realize it isn't the biggest surprise ever. I should've saved this story idea for another prompt. But I'm glad it's a great story anyway.

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

Uh...what do you mean by "talk no jutsu"? I hope it's not bad.

It's a Naruto thing. Basically it's a sort of meme in the community because It became something of a trend that Naruto was able to sway a lot villains in the show to becoming good guys simply through conversation(It goes a lot deeper than that but if I went into it we'd be here all day)

[Anacybele]

3 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

It's a Naruto thing. Basically it's a sort of meme in the community because It became something of a trend that Naruto was able to sway a lot villains in the show to becoming good guys simply through conversation(It goes a lot deeper than that but if I went into it we'd be here all day)

Ah. Well, does sound like what Ike does in PoR. XD He does make Reyson, the hawks, and some Daeins his allies!

[Benice]

25 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

This isn't a bad story but I have one major complaint here. If you want to write something emotional be descriptive. Like whenever you tried to play up the emotions, it only really lasted for like a sentence at most and that's the main issue here. If you want me to feel things then you gotta really dig into the character's thoughts and emotions to really truly draw them out. Don't just say he started sobbing and leave it at that. Give me more! You did a good job with the flashback because it's a good flashback but like really try to make me feel his sadness, his pain. When he can't bring down his lance to kill the rebel. Linger on that moment for a little more. Tell me everything that's going on inside his head. Why can't he bring down the lance? Does he want to but his body won't listen? what's going on here? Again if you want me to feel something here, you'll have to be a little more descriptive than " Blanick was a very strong man, but in that moment, he didn't have the power to lower his lance". It's a problem that's pretty persistent throughout the whole thing especially at the end. Other than that though, it's fine.

Fair enough. I need to stop finishing these things at 3 in the morning. I personally thought that the part about his inability to kill the rebel was self-explanatory, but evidently not. I'll try to do better next time, thank you for your feedback!

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, Benice said:

Fair enough. I need to stop finishing these things at 3 in the morning. I personally thought that the part about his inability to kill the rebel was self-explanatory, but evidently not. I'll try to do better next time, thank you for your feedback!

It's not that it wasn't self-explanatory cause it was just that more description as to what exactly was happening would've been nice like personally I would've written it like:

Balnick prepared to drive his lance into the man, however his arm wouldn't budge. It simply hung in the air next to him as his fingers were wrapped tightly around the lance's shaft. He couldn't do it...

Or y'know something like that. Does that make a little more sense?

[Benice]

3 hours ago, Ottservia said:

It's not that it wasn't self-explanatory cause it was just that more description as to what exactly was happening would've been nice like personally I would've written it like:

Balnick prepared to drive his lance into the man, however his arm wouldn't budge. It simply hung in the air next to him as his fingers were wrapped tightly around the lance's shaft. He couldn't do it...

Or y'know something like that. Does that make a little more sense?

says the one who wrote a trashy isekai

I guess so. In this specific instance, I'll stand behind what I wrote. I do see why you'd think that your version was better, but I personally liked my selection of words. Next time I will be going more into detail, but ina different way.

[Ottservia]

Just now, Benice said:

says the one who wrote a trashy isekai

Hey I could've gone trashier had I the time, proper prompt, or rating. You have no idea the kind of utter landfill that is the light novel industry with all it's fanservice and otaku fetish pandering. I was seriously debating writing a parody of an anime titled "I can't believe my little sister is this cute" which is exactly what it sounds like and y'all thought fates was bad with its incest.

5 minutes ago, Benice said:

I guess so. In this specific instance, I'll stand behind what I wrote. I do see why you'd think that your version was better, but I personally liked my selection of words. Next time I will be going more into detail, but ina different way.

I apologize if I offended you by it. I just wanted to illustrate what I meant when I say "be a little more descriptive". I never intended to say "write it just like me" but rather "this is kind of what I mean when I say this". I hope I was able to get the point across.