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SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix


AnonymousSpeed

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13 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

Bruh.

What? I haven't found another entry besides the ones I critiqued.

Is that link you're giving me an entry too? I never saw this post.

Edited by Anacybele
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Just now, Anacybele said:

What? I haven't found another entry besides the ones I critiqued.

Again.

On 7/18/2020 at 11:36 PM, SoulWeaver said:

Meanwhile, three Game Theories, a JonTron, and a game night with missionaries later, I present ->this.<-...whatever it is. Ends kind of abruptly and it's rather short, but it's freaking 25 minutes to midnight, my family's waiting on me for scriptures, you get the idea. Immediately thought of these two upon hearing the prompt and I'm glad nobody else has got to them.

Bruh.

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Just now, SoulWeaver said:

Again.

Bruh.

You didn't see my post edit. I said I never saw that post and wouldn't have thought it was an entry anyway because it isn't in the normal entry format.

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1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

You didn't see my post edit. I said I never saw that post and wouldn't have thought it was an entry anyway because it isn't in the normal entry format.

Ah, ok. To be fair, though, I think I've posted an entry in that format at least three times now.

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2 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

Ah, ok. To be fair, though, I think I've posted an entry in that format at least three times now.

You have? Huh. Maybe I never noticed or critiqued those either then. If this is the case, I'm sorry I missed them. >_<

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15 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

It's all good, I know I've missed people's entries before.

Good to know.

With that, I'll just go ahead and give you critique now. I liked this entry! Reminded me of how I hated Fernand at first, but then liked him more when I learned why he hates commoners so much. Felt terrible for the poor guy. Short, but gets the point across. Not sure how I'd improve it at all. Now I'm not sure whether to vote for yours or Azure's.

I also like that we have entries from a bunch of different FE games now. Tellius, then Heroes, then Three Houses, and now Echoes.

Edited by Anacybele
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39 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Good to know.

With that, I'll just go ahead and give you critique now. I liked this entry! Reminded me of how I hated Fernand at first, but then liked him more when I learned why he hates commoners so much. Felt terrible for the poor guy. Short, but gets the point across. Not sure how I'd improve it at all. Now I'm not sure whether to vote for yours or Azure's.

I also like that we have entries from a bunch of different FE games now. Tellius, then Heroes, then Three Houses, and now Echoes.

Fernand was such a missed opportunity. The game tries to use him as a foil to Clive - with both knights initially beginning the game with the same nobility ideology, then having Clive open up to another solution while Fernand remains set in his ways - but utterly failed to build the background required to make Fernand up and leaving the Deliverance over Alm being pushed as a new figurehead sound believable. That kind of action would require multiple examples of Clive and Fernand clashing in increasingly escalating events(such as the one I tried to depict) ultimately culminating in Alm being the final straw to be done properly, but instead we get a couple instances of Fernand calling Alm dirt, Clair getting on his case for it, then bam, suddenly he has Clive up against a wall and is yelling in his face, like what the heck, this is believable? Honestly, SoV kind of struggles with the character foil concepts - Berkut and Alm, Fernand and Clive, heck Celica and Alm even, and it's a shame because if they'd just got those a little more detailed I think it could honestly be the best FE of them all.

Anyways, I decided to paint the difficulty between these two as stemming from a fundamental difference in how each perceives what a nation really is, with Clive believing a nation is its people and Fernand believing a nation is its ideals, though I'm afraid I didn't do as good a job emphasizing the importance of this as I probably could. Seen this way, both are patriots in their own right, with(from an American perspective) Clive being similar to a modern-day liberal and Fernand a modern-day conservative, one focused on the injustices dealt to the people by the flaws in the system(like say, when a shift in leadership results in the rank and file feeling oppressed), the other focused on the solid principles behind that flawed system. If SoV had taken this route, I'd honestly see Fernand as a much better character, but as it is, he's just kind of...Slayde but less mustache-twirly - he exists more or less for there to be an obvious bad guy who doesn't actually contribute very much to the plot. I don't have the Deliverance DLC though, so perhaps if I'd played that I'd have a better opinion of the green cav.

Edited by SoulWeaver
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2 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

Fernand was such a missed opportunity. The game tries to use him as a foil to Clive - with both knights initially beginning the game with the same nobility ideology, then having Clive open up to another solution while Fernand remains set in his ways - but utterly failed to build the background required to make Fernand up and leaving the Deliverance over Alm being pushed as a new figurehead sound believable. That kind of action would require multiple examples of Clive and Fernand clashing in increasingly escalating events(such as the one I tried to depict) ultimately culminating in Alm being the final straw to be done properly, but instead we get a couple instances of Fernand calling Alm dirt, Clair getting on his case for it, then bam, suddenly he has Clive up against a wall and is yelling in his face, like what the heck, this is believable? Honestly, SoV kind of struggles with the character foil concepts - Berkut and Alm, Fernand and Clive, heck Celica and Alm even, and it's a shame because if they'd just got those a little more detailed I think it could honestly be the best FE of them all.

Anyways, I decided to paint the difficulty between these two as stemming from a fundamental difference in how each perceives what a nation really is, with Clive believing a nation is its people and Fernand believing a nation is its ideals, though I'm afraid I didn't do as good a job emphasizing the importance of this as I probably could. Seen this way, both are patriots in their own right, with(from an American perspective) Clive being similar to a modern-day liberal and Fernand a modern-day conservative, one focused on the injustices dealt to the people by the flaws in the system, the other focused on the solid principles behind that flawed system. If SoV had taken this route, I'd honestly see Fernand as a much better character, but as it is, he's just kind of...Slayde but less mustache-twirly - he exists more or less for there to be an obvious bad guy who doesn't actually contribute very much to the plot. I don't have the Deliverance DLC though, so perhaps if I'd played that I'd have a better opinion of the green cav.

Yeah, I do see where you're coming from here. I haven't finished Echoes, but I've played through quite a bit of it and you're kinda right now that I think about it. But I have to say this game has much better writing than Awakening or Fates.

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8 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

But I have to say this game has much better writing than Awakening or Fates.

I'm gonna have to stop you right there because no it doesn't. Say what you will about awakening and fates but at least those stories are thematically consistent. With the way Alm is written, he outright contradicts the story's core themes and messages. Him being a royal in the end basically means Berkut was right all along not to mention the fact that he's supposed to be a flawed and dynamic protagonist that accidentally ends up killing his own father due to giving into hate because of the inherent flaws in his ideology. But he's never once written that way even though the story wants me to believe that he is. He's a light novel protagonist through and through when he's not supposed to be and that's bad. I mean Corrin's also a light novel protagonist but y'know he's supposed to be one so it kinda works. SoV's story is not good people. I'm just saying.

Edited by Ottservia
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6 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

I'm gonna have to stop you right there because no it doesn't. Say what you will about awakening and fates but at least those stories are thematically consistent. With the way Alm is written, he outright contradicts the story's core themes and messages. Him being a royal in the end basically means Berkut was right all along not to mention the fact that he's supposed to be a flawed and dynamic protagonist that accidentally ends up killing his own father due to giving into hate because of the inherent flaws in his ideology. But he's never once written that way even though the story wants me to believe that he is. He's a light novel protagonist through and through when he's not supposed to be and that's bad. I mean Corrin's also a light novel protagonist but y'know he's supposed to be one so it kinda works. SoV's story is not good people. I'm just saying.

Your opinion. But when Echoes has more world building in its damn prologue than Fates does in the entire game and Awakening just makes villains who are only "GRR I'M EVIL AND WILL DESTROY THE WORLD" and nothing more (except for Gangrel, actually), while Echoes's antagonists are actually interesting, I'm going to have a real hard time believing Echoes does not overall have better writing.

I'm allowed to think its story is better.

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4 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Your opinion. But when Echoes has more world building in its damn prologue than Fates does in the entire game and Awakening just makes villains who are only "GRR I'M EVIL AND WILL DESTROY THE WORLD" and nothing more (except for Gangrel, actually), while Echoes's antagonists are actually interesting, I'm going to have a real hard time believing Echoes does not overall have better writing.

I'm allowed to think its story is better.

On that some token I’m allowed to say that it’s worse. Also there’s more to villain writing than just slapping a sob story on them. Pure evil villains can work and I’m so sick and tired of people saying that they can’t. What’s wrong with a good old fashion disney villain every now and again, huh? I mean I like Ashnard for that very reason. He’s an evil bastard but he knows it and he’s having fun. Good writing is writing that works and SoV’s writing does not work.

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5 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Fates is SoV if every character in the game were written with the cartoony tropiness of Faye. 

No contest.

Again at least fates is thematically consistent.

To quote Mathwiz:

”damnit I’m not supposed to care about fates but you people make me want to like it out of spite”

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12 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

What the fuck are you guys doing they're Fire Emblem plots why are you defending any of them. The best ones are the least offensive.

Tellius is legit, and I will defend it to the death against all naysayers 

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5 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

If the theme is who needs writing when you have underwear models—sure???

How many times do I have to say that Fates is a story with themes centering on trust and betrayal before people understand

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14 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Tellius is legit, and I will defend it to the death against all naysayers 

Then you will die on that hill. Tellius is a dime a dozen sloppy fantasy racism metaphor, it would be conceptually shit even if it wasn't so trite.

10 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

How many times do I have to say that Fates is a story with themes centering on trust and betrayal before people understand

As many times as it takes you to form an actually compelling argument.

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2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

As many times as it takes you to form an actually compelling argument

I mean I have just not here. It’s all in this thread should you want to read it

 

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