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SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix


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6 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

I had no idea I'd done that many entries...

My goodness. O.o

I mean, Anon did give you honorable mention for having a 100% participation rate. Just looking at the number of rounds in Competition 2/2.5, it’s definitely an impressive number.

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I have a couple ideas in mind I just don’t know which one to go for. I could write about the awakening trio, Soleil and Ophelia, a digimon story, or just degenerate nonsense like 80% of all modern Isekai that litter seasonal anime charts. Too many to choose

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On 9/4/2020 at 9:44 PM, DarthR0xas said:

Well technically there's still 2 hours left in the voting, so something could happen. But I do already have a prompt picked out for the next round whenever y'all are ready.

Also @Shoblongoo if you don't mind me asking, why'd you pick my entry over the others? Just curious.

For reasons set forth by @Ottservia.

Fixed the issue I had with the original fic 

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Hey guys. Sadly, Ana has been permabanned from SF for things that happened in Serious Discussion, political arguments. She has asked me to tell you if you want to see her fics, she will still be on DeviantArt, and eventually Ao3, and Discord. She doesn't want a bunch of people talking to her right now, give her some time.

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15 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Hey guys. Sadly, Ana has been permabanned from SF for things that happened in Serious Discussion, political arguments. She has asked me to tell you if you want to see her fics, she will still be on DeviantArt, and eventually Ao3, and Discord. She doesn't want a bunch of people talking to her right now, give her some time.

Well that’s unfortunate. Though she was treading on eggshells with that topic. Racism is a very touchy subject. Gonna be honest, I feel like everyone involved in that could’ve handled the situation better but I’m simply an outsider looking in so take that with a grain of salt. As someone who struggles heavily with RSD, she has my sympathies. Sometimes it feels like the whole world’s against you and there ain’t a thing tou can do about it. I hate having adhd and autism. Even the most minor of shit can really set you off.

Regardless, I digress

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48 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Hey guys. Sadly, Ana has been permabanned from SF for things that happened in Serious Discussion, political arguments. She has asked me to tell you if you want to see her fics, she will still be on DeviantArt, and eventually Ao3, and Discord. She doesn't want a bunch of people talking to her right now, give her some time.

Oh. Holy makerel, that's a shame. I feel pretty awful now because I was part of the problem, not the solution...

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On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that that thread was basically dead and I’m the one who bumped it.

On the other hand, I managed to have a good back-and-forth with Ana and disagree with her, but keep it civil and respectful and not make her feel like she was being personally attacked.

And there were definitely some people who popped into that thread just to stir up shit and egg her on. (Hope the mods aren’t completely blind to that)

 

 

 

 

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15 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that that thread was basically dead and I’m the one who bumped it.

On the other hand, I managed to have a good back-and-forth with Ana and disagree with her, but keep it civil and respectful and not make her feel like she was being personally attacked.

And there were definitely some people who popped into that thread just to stir up shit and egg her on. (Hope the mods aren’t completely blind to that)

We weren't blind at all. It's a bold claim to make from someone who can't see warn histories.

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1 hour ago, Benice said:

Oh. Holy makerel, that's a shame. I feel pretty awful now because I was part of the problem, not the solution...

18 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that that thread was basically dead and I’m the one who bumped it.

Hey kids, that's just life. You screw up and call yourself an idiot thirty or so ways (depending on how creative or profane you are) and then you just have learn from your gross miscalculation. Sharpens ya.

1 minute ago, Parrhesia said:

We weren't blind at all. It's a bold claim to make from someone who can't see warn histories.

Hey, why can't we see warn histories, by the way? Or maybe a log of moderator actions or something.

I don't just say this because of this scenario, though it probably would add some clarity to it. I have Soul in a campaign I'm running and I almost dropped him because I didn't know he had been warned and wasn't posting because he wasn't able.

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Well that's a shame. Her writing really has seemed to improve a lot through these. I'd wish her luck, but she can't see this so I guess I'll just hope it gets to her on a spiritual level or something? I dunno.

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Just now, DarthR0xas said:

Well that's a shame. Her writing really has seemed to improve a lot through these. I'd wish her luck, but she can't see this so I guess I'll just hope it gets to her on a spiritual level or something? I dunno.

Hey now.

Don't bring none of that reiki nonsense into my good Christian thread.

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Oof.  Come on guys being wholesome is nice and all, but rejecting people for their beliefs is not.  Lord knows we have enough drama without more to add.

 

Also sad to hear about Ana, I hope that she gets the time she needs.  I am on discord myself and if anyone is interested can I can link my server to you via PM.  Be warned there is a bot called Grima and he dislikes his nickname so don't use it...

Edited by TheSilentChloey
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9 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

Hey guys. Sadly, Ana has been permabanned from SF for things that happened in Serious Discussion, political arguments.

no, anacybele was banned for a years long pattern of continually refusing to change in response to her extensive warn history. i didn't even ban her for her bullshit in that thread, which you can see by the fact that i performatively said i wasn't going to ban her for her bullshit in that thread, i banned her for turning around and doing the same i--don't-understand pity card crap that she always does in dm with me right after i took her toys away.

 

please do not spread misinformation.

 

EDIT: one will also note, in regards to her lack of growth, that the behavior patterns leading up to her getting kicked out of SF are very reminiscent of what led to her getting kicked out of the discord two years ago, and if she's exhibiting all the same behaviors that got her banned from one place after two years of very clear warnings, for instance having accumulated seven warnings since the covid lockdown began alone, this isn't a 'tragedy' it's far overdue because i've been telling my mods to be lenient for ages.

Edited by Integrity
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33 minutes ago, Integrity said:

no, anacybele was banned for a years long pattern of continually refusing to change in response to her extensive warn history. i didn't even ban her for her bullshit in that thread, which you can see by the fact that i performatively said i wasn't going to ban her for her bullshit in that thread, i banned her for turning around and doing the same i--don't-understand pity card crap that she always does in dm with me right after i took her toys away.

 

please do not spread misinformation.

It's not my intention to spread misinformation. What occured in that thread was the final straw from what I saw, and as for the rest of it, I'll just drop it here.

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5 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

Well moving on from that whole drama--any Aqua Teen Hunger Force fans in here?

Asking for what may or may not be reasons related to the prompt. 

I've never seen the show myself, but I've seen some memes about it and it confuses me to this day.

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17 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hey, why can't we see warn histories, by the way? Or maybe a log of moderator actions or something.

I don't just say this because of this scenario, though it probably would add some clarity to it. I have Soul in a campaign I'm running and I almost dropped him because I didn't know he had been warned and wasn't posting because he wasn't able.

 

I want to address this real quick, since it did not get commented on and I feel it is an important thing to emphasize. Apologies for the mod-derail, you can publicly shame me. I will keep it short.

We would not put warn histories out to the public because it really should not be public information. The primary point is that we would not want to do anything that encourages bias among members, and as much as I try to have a pleasant view of people,  they would absolutely use this functionality to form prejudices against others for situations they have no other context about. The secondary point is that I believe as a general rule (I know this statement would make some who don't care go "well I don't care"), people who have warns would simply rather not anyone be able to peep on that and see what has happened in their history. I believe it just shows tiny bit of respect and support towards letting people learn and grow.

OK thank you for tolerating me, please go back to your wonderful writing competition and feel free to DM me if you have further inquiries or thoughts about why we do things this way

Edited by Specta
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8 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

I...literally have no idea what you're talking about @Shoblongoo care to explain to the uninitiated?

I'm just going to quote straight from the movie opening here, because that's honestly a better explanation then an actual explanation:

Cut You Up With a Linoleum Knife | ATHF Wiki | Fandom

"Do not explain the plot! If you don't understand then you should not be here! Your money is now our money, and we will spend it on DRUGS!"  

Edited by Shoblongoo
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And on that note:

Title:  Fire Emblem Three Houses, but Byleth is Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Carl Brutananadilewski | ATHF Wiki | Fandom



FANDOM:   lol 

Words:  1,867

 

 

 

Laboratory of Dr. Weird:
South Jersey Shore


“GENTLEMAN, BEHOLD! PLOT CONTRIVANCE!”

Dr. Weird - Home | Facebook

A curtain lifts to reveal an unreasonable machine. Its very complicated and it makes a lot of noise. Can it transport a character to another world? Probably. 

 

“Don’t you have to…like…explain to the reader?”  Steve calls for exposition.

Steve Voice - Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (Movie)  - Behind The Voice Actors


“I DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN SHIT!”

Dr. Weird | YouTube Poop Wiki | Fandom

_______

 

“Is this Melon Shakers? This ain’t Melon Shakers.” The Professor wakes up somewhere that isn’t the parking lot of a bottom-dollar strip club in the industrial wastes of dirty Jersey. This confuses him greatly. “Dafuq am I wearing?”  

“Orders, sir?” A lieutenant of Captain Geralt’s grand battalion stands at attention.

“Nothing. I didn’t order nothing.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

"I mean I'll take wings and a pitcher or whatever." 

"..."

"..."

"..."

“Why you following me? I don’t swing that way.”

Incoming enemy fire pierces the lieutenant with a barrage of arrows and melts his face off with mage fire.

“Hey. Uhhhhhhh. You okay there?” The Professor asks.

A dead and fleshless skeleton face on a pin-cushioned body stares back at him. Dead.

“That don’t look too good. You should, uh, get that checked out.”      

_______

“Professor. Are these outfits really necessary for our training?” Edelgard understood the purpose of the calisthenics. She did not understand the purpose of performing them while dressed as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.   

Yes. It’s very necessary. Fuck dem Cowboys though.” The Professor cracked a Pabst Blue Ribbon. “HEY, CHURCH-MAN! YOU GOT SOME GIANT’S MERC OVER HERE?”

Regrettably, there are no funds for such an expenditure.” Seteth advised. “It appears you’ve spent your entire endowment on alcohol and prostitutes.”

“…Uh-huh…”

“A reminder that your students will be expected to demonstrate what they have learned at the end of the month in a real battle. These are children who have never fought before. Those funds were supposed to be for weapons and armor.”

“Look; I don’t work 20 hours a week to throw my money away. That’s wasteful. Them’s bills are for getting drunk, and putting in strippers underwears.”   

“Have you taught them anything they can use in combat?” Seteth inquired.

“Oh yeah. Watch this. HEY KID! Whata ya do when the big guy’s coming at ya?”

“Kick ‘em in the dick!” Caspar answered.

“You kick ‘em straight in the dick.” The Professor instructed.

And then Caspar did in fact kick Hubert straight in the dick.

“See? They’re totally ready.”

“…Clearly…” Seteth observed. “Lady Rhea would like a word with you.”

“Whats the deal with you twos; are you banging?”

“Lady Rhea and I are strictly platonic companions.”

“So what—you into dudes or something?”

“…”

“‘Cause I’d uhhhhh—you know—I’d motorboat the shit outta that.”

“You are in a holy place, and I would ask you to behave as such.” Seteth politely requested.

“I got your holy place right here.” The Professor grabbed himself at the ‘nads. “TONIGHT!”

“Professor,” Rhea welcomed. “I trust you know why you are here.”

“Your mother.” The Professor flipped-the-bird and drank his beer.

What news?” Rhea implored.

“She said professors shouldn’t have to pay for no sex and you should give me more money.”  The Professor spoketh divine word. “Oh and, uhh, eat your veggies. That ass is, uh, starting to look a little chonky there. Ya know? I mean I like a girl with some meat on the bones, but your mom said that that part. I mean she said the whole thing. Especially the part about giving me more money.” 

“I will pray upon these words,” Rhea thanked him. “You seem to be adjusting well to life at the monastery. Is there anything we can do to make your time here more comfortable?”

“There’s no nudey mags in a library. You get Butt Frenzy out here?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Rhea promised.

“And tell Claude to STAY OUTTA MY FRIGGIN POOL!”

 ________

“Omgomgomgomg—I just killed someone!” Bernadetta was freaking out.

“Hey. Come here. Its okay.” The Professor offered his most sage guidance. “I mean—that guy probably had a family that loved him. And he’s dead now. And its totally your fault. But. Uhhhhhh. Where was I going with this???”

“WHAAAAAAAA!!!” Bernadetta was FREAKING out.

“Okay look. You think you’re gonna live forever. But you won’t. Someone’s gonna kill ya. Someone will probably kill you with a knife. And, uhhhhhh, that’s life.” Good pep-talk.

“Professor,” Edelgard reported. “We’ve sighted the enemy commander. How should we…”

“Kick ‘em in the dick." The Professor instructed.

“KICK ‘EM IN THE DICK!” Caspar shouted.

And Caspar did in fact kick Kostas straight in the dick.

“I love this kid.” The Professor cracked another beer.

“I am having confusion as to why you are always drinking with hardness.” Peta asked.

“I am having confusion as to why you don’t SPEAK FRIGGIN ENGLISH!” The Professor admonished. “Hey noble guy or whatever. Take this.” He gifted Ferdinand a fishing float.  

“This is--?” Ferdinand asked.

“I dunno. I got a million of them.” Said the professor. “They make great gifts as long as you—you know—don’t give a crap about who you’re giving them to.”

“Would it not increase our chances of survival to remain focused on the battle?” Linhardt inquired.

“Nahhh. That’s okay.” The Professor drank his beer. “Sometimes I kind of wanna die.”

_____________

“I must insist that you treat this as a disciplinary infraction.” Seteth insisted.

“He turned a minor conflict over whose turn it was to use the lunch counter into physical violence. And for that I applaud him.”

“…Professor…”

“Alright, alright. I’ll take care of it. HEY KID!” The Professor chastised Caspar. “What-did-ya do wrong here?”

“I—didn’t kick him in the dick?”

And that’s why he put hands on you.”

“What the Professor means is that--” Seteth interjected.

Church-Man. I got this.” The Professor mentored his student. “Listen kid. Ever since my son was…never conceived, because I’ve never had consensual sex without money involved, I’ve always kind of looked at you as—look. What I’m sayin’ is I seen that singer girl making eyes at me. And you’re like her little brother or something. And you’re kind of a badass. And I’m gonna need you to be my wingman and get me all up in that, so you can’t go getting into any more trouble.”   

“Relations between professors and students is strictly forbidden.” Seteth reminded him.

“What. You like dudes or something?” Caspar taunted.

“OHHHHHHHH SHIT! HE’S FREE-STYLING!” The Professor whooped.

“TONIGHT!” Caspar cheered.

“Professor.” Seteth scolded. “I am concerned that your student may be learning inappropriate behaviors.”

“Nah he’s a good kid. That princess though. She’s fucking crazy.”

“Edelgard von Hresvelg is a model student.” Seteth rebuffed.

“All I’m sayings if she burns this place down to find the lizard-people. She. Uhhhhh. She didn’t learn none of that from me.”

“Lizard People?” Seteth cocked an eyebrow.

I’m tellin ya man. That girl has issues.” The Professor cracked another beer and approached the lunch counter. “Lets see. I want a nachos grande. And, uh, lets start with 50 Buffalo Wings. Extra Hot. Hotter. Keep that ranch coming. Heh heh. I’m gonna be spendin’ some time on the Holy Throne if you know-what-I’m-saying.”

“What exactly has Edelgard been telling you?” Seteth asked of him.

Hey, uh, Church Man, you might not wanna be asking too many questions right now.” The professor began washing down irresponsible quantities of sphincter-devastating hot sauce and jalapeno slices with cheap beer. “I’m fartin’ blood over here.”     

 _________

“…of course I can use warp magic...” Lysithea said as though the very notion that she couldn’t was insulting.

“So this thing, it like, remembers what you’re supposed to look like right?”

“The spell parameters record your exact composition down to the micro-particle. The buffing pattern then causes you to rematerialize at your destination exactly the same.” Lysithea explained. “Why?”

“I want you to beam me somewhere. And then when I’m in the warp change the recording and, heh heh, 'buff' part of my 'pattern.' You know what I mean?”  

“Ummm. No???” Lysithea did not know what he meant.

“Load Program: Crotch Town. Set file size to large.”

“What are you talking about!?!?” Now she was just getting annoyed.

“I mean not that I’m small or whatever, but you know, a little extra don’t hurt.”

Professor Manuela knows that spell.” Claude reminded him.

“No. I ain’t asking her.”

Asking her WHAT?” Lysithea still didn’t get it.

“Oh trust me, professor. She knows.” Claude got it.    

“She don’t know nothing and she don’t need to know nothing.”

Are you asking me to join your class or not?” Lysethia was so confused.

“Nahhhhh. Forget it.” The Professor rounded on Claude. “And STAY OUT OF MY FREAKING POOL!”
__________

“BEHOLD! THE DARKNESS OF ZAHARAS!” Solon called forth his curtain of Dark Power around the demarcated summoning square.

“Uh-huh.” The Professor had not stepped into the demarcated summoning square and would not step into the demarcated summoning square.

“You will be consumed,” Solon waited awkwardly. “Just as soon as you step in the square.”

“I ain’t stepping in the square.”

“What do you mean you’re not stepping the square.”

“I see that thing you’re doing. I ain’t stepping in the square.”

“Its in the cutscene. You have to step in the square.”

“Too bad. I ain’t doing it.”

“Professor,” Edelgard agreed. “I think the only way we ever leave the forest is if you step in the square.”

“Oh sure yeah. I’d love to do that,” the Professor stared at the all-consuming darkness. “You want me to bend over so he can shove that staff up my ass too?”

“That is acceptable." Solon would allow it.

“Okay sure. I’ll get right on that.” The Professor walked back to his war chariot and grabbed another beer. “Just over here dumping all the light out of my soul. You know. Embracing the darkness.”

“Proceed.” Solon beckoned.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Is your soul-light extinguished?” Solon asked.

“Almost,” The Professor reclined in his chariot with a dirty magazine and another beer and absolutely no intention of entering the demarcated square. “It’ll be gone any minute. You just keep waiting there.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Now?”

“Yeah sure. The light’s gone—whatever—it don’t matter to me. Can I go now?”

The cutscene rolled anyway, and the Professor disappeared in a puff of logic. 

“Ehhhhhhh,” he accepted it. “Finally. Some friggin peace-and-quiet.”

“YOU FOOL!” Sothis shouted. “ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US BOTH KILLED!?”

“Oh. You’re, uh. You're still here.” The Professor laid down to take a nap. “Heh heh. Did you see the forehead on that guy? What a freak.”

“That’s it then? You intend to lay down and die!”

“It don’t matter. None of this matters.”   

“It appears I have no choice.” Sothis conceded. “I must now give you the powers of a god.”

“Keep God outta this. He don’t need to know I’m here.”

“In a moment all that I am will be given to you. And then I will cease to be.”

“Or we could…you know…get some sleep without dem kids around—OH JEEZ! THE BACK OF MY HEAD!” The Professor exploded back into real space. And beheld 'Shambhala Rulez'  gouged into the side of his vehicle.

“WHO DID THIS TO MY FRIGGIN CAR!?!?” 

Edited by Shoblongoo
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Here’s a fun little quote from my creative writing professor that I 10000% agree with. “If a story can be about anything then it is a story about nothing”

Edited by Ottservia
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