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SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix


AnonymousSpeed

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...Yeah, Shoblongoo’s kind of got everyone beat in the weirdness department this round, not like yours would have been weirder.

We’re not gonna see mine though, we had to move a bunch of stuff on Saturday so I spent from noon-thirty to like three minutes before eleven doing that instead of working on literally anything else. I then promptly wasted the last hour post-shower playing LEGO Star Wars to unwind and get my stress back to the normal level soo...yeah. I also learned that day you can move the Droidekas without dropping the energy shield if you’re willing to move at a crawl the whole level so that’s cool.

...dang I miss buying LEGOs. Broke adulting problems.

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So I’m just gonna do my usual feedback thing.

@TheSilentChloey

not bad but it does fall into your usual trap of rushing through plot points. Like okay maybe rushed isn’t the right way to describe it. The story just kinda feels impatient I suppose. Like none of the scenes or characters are really given any room to breathe I guess. You get across what you need to with the scenes but it lacks meat as it were. It feels like you’re trying to get from scene to scene as quickly as possible without letting the story progress a little more naturally if that makes any sense. I liked the idea you were going for. Having fantasy characters come to the real modern world is always a fun and interesting concept. I just feel you could’ve done more with it.

@Shoblongoo

I dunno what the fuck I read but it was weird, funny, and all kinds of ridiculousness. The kind of humor in this story isn’t necessarily to my personal taste especially if it’s used this much but I’ll admit it got a few laughs out of me. I just think the primary Joke became more annoying than funny after the first couple of scenes but that’s more a matter of personal taste if anything. Not bad.

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53 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

So I’m just gonna do my usual feedback thing.

@TheSilentChloey

not bad but it does fall into your usual trap of rushing through plot points. Like okay maybe rushed isn’t the right way to describe it. The story just kinda feels impatient I suppose. Like none of the scenes or characters are really given any room to breathe I guess. You get across what you need to with the scenes but it lacks meat as it were. It feels like you’re trying to get from scene to scene as quickly as possible without letting the story progress a little more naturally if that makes any sense. I liked the idea you were going for. Having fantasy characters come to the real modern world is always a fun and interesting concept. I just feel you could’ve done more with it.

@Shoblongoo

I dunno what the fuck I read but it was weird, funny, and all kinds of ridiculousness. The kind of humor in this story isn’t necessarily to my personal taste especially if it’s used this much but I’ll admit it got a few laughs out of me. I just think the primary Joke became more annoying than funny after the first couple of scenes but that’s more a matter of personal taste if anything. Not bad.

I'm on a months release schedule for most of my fics lol.  Also this one was rushed to hell, I did mention that in my post lol.  I may revisit this at some point, should the need call for it.  (fuck it, I will revisit this, just not right now because smol Grima fic is in the works.)

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On 9/21/2020 at 7:33 PM, TheSilentChloey said:

I'm on a months release schedule for most of my fics lol.  Also this one was rushed to hell, I did mention that in my post lol.  I may revisit this at some point, should the need call for it.  (fuck it, I will revisit this, just not right now because smol Grima fic is in the works.)

Did you? I guess I didn’t notice. Apologies for that. It’s been quiet around here lately.

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On 9/24/2020 at 6:58 AM, Ottservia said:

Did you? I guess I didn’t notice. Apologies for that. It’s been quiet around here lately.

Yeah, part of the problem was I rushed it a lot.  It has some good concepts I'd love to explore but of late time constraints have been a bit...difficult to work with regarding the theme.  That and I don't normally go with Alfonse centric fics lol.

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15 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Free CC fodder for Robin lol XD that's what I'm doing to him anyway.

I mean could do that but edgy tsundere boy with an inferiority complex like come on!

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28 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

I mean could do that but edgy tsundere boy with an inferiority complex like come on!

He...didn't ingratiate himself in his game, or in Heroes, so fodder he is.  Plus Robin is...something of a precious Birb, I have to.

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In any case since it is my win this time and I’ve been in a shounen mood recently(One Piece is really fuckin good guys) my prompt for you all is to write a fight scene between two characters. No monsters, no faceless mooks, no mindless beasts, none of that. It has to be a fight between two actual characters. Other than that one condition go nuts

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4 hours ago, Ottservia said:

In any case since it is my win this time and I’ve been in a shounen mood recently(One Piece is really fuckin good guys) my prompt for you all is to write a fight scene between two characters. No monsters, no faceless mooks, no mindless beasts, none of that. It has to be a fight between two actual characters. Other than that one condition go nuts

So...they can scream at each other?

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7 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:

So...they can scream at each other?

No I just think it would make for a more interesting conflict

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On 9/26/2020 at 8:58 PM, TheSilentChloey said:

A screaming match it is lol.

 

Birb vs Birb...

I was thinking more of a physical confrontation y’know super powers, ceremonial duels, clashing ideals, stuff like that but you do you I guess

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2 hours ago, Ottservia said:

I was thinking more of a physical confrontation y’know super powers, ceremonial duels, clashing ideals, stuff like that but you do you I guess

It started as a screaming match and escalated.  Grima has a nasty habit of doing that.

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18 hours ago, Ottservia said:

I was thinking more of a physical confrontation y’know super powers, ceremonial duels, clashing ideals, stuff like that

So The Succubus Is A Shonen Protagonist is still on the table...alright, I can work with that.../s

23 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Even better-

 

Man of culture, thy name is ECCH

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57 minutes ago, SoulWeaver said:

Posting this in case anyone wants it for their piece:

  Hide contents

 

References the fight Otts linked I dunno where, probably somewhere in here, the one Naruto one.

Ehhhhhh I wouldn’t really listen to eyepatch wolf if I were you tbh. He’s not very good at being analytical. I respect the man a lot and he makes pretty good content but uhh anyone who unironically says Bleach gets bad after soul society deserves to be hanged

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10 hours ago, Ottservia said:

Ehhhhhh I wouldn’t really listen to eyepatch wolf if I were you tbh. He’s not very good at being analytical. I respect the man a lot and he makes pretty good content but uhh anyone who unironically says Bleach gets bad after soul society deserves to be hanged

Did he say that? I didn’t hear it in there, and I found this particular video very helpful - if nothing else I learned Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee are in a movie together, that alone makes the video a net positive on society.

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