SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix

[Dragoncat]

1 hour ago, Ottservia said:

Yep that’s more or less the idea I was going for anyway(sorry if I sound in anyway overly arrogant or anything. I’m just happy people are understanding the thought I put into my story)

 

anyway for those interested here are some notes I had for my story:

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-The character names were something I didn’t really put a whole lot of thought into but there is a small reason as I chose to name the protagonist’s friend Maki. It was to sort of allow Hotaru to give Maki a cute nickname to indicate that they were close friends. “Maki” means “roll” in Japanese so the nickname Maki-roll is literally just Roll-Roll. I thought it was kinda cute anyway

- Maki’s character is fairly simple. She’s essentially your typical ‘busy parents neglect me’ sort of archetype. The labyrinth of a witch reflects their mental state and that’s what I was sort of trying to convey with the imagery of the labyrinth. The reason all the portraits were distorted was because they were of her parents who she hardly recognizes due to almost never seeing them. The room where the witch itself resides is something I tried to describe as something akin to a cradle or a child’s room because Maki herself wants to go back to the past to the times she was younger and wasn’t as alone as she is now. 

-Maki’s witch form is something I had fun writing. It’s a two headed dragon with one normal head and the other having rotted. Basically it’s a representation of the rotted friendship between the two girls. The normal looking head is supposed to be Maki herself while the zombie one represents Hotaru which is why it looks so rotten because Maki tried desperately to stitch their friendship back together but it wasn’t really working as the two slowly drifted apart. 

-Maki’s wish in fact was so that she could spend more time with Hotaru but that didn’t quite pan out as well as it should have and when her parents died Hotaru was too busy to console her and be there for her when she needed it most and thus triggered her witch transformation.

-Hotaru is just a normal girl that doesn’t want to be alone. She’s pretty selfish now that I think about it. She was teased a bunch in school which made it hard for her to trust others and Maki was the one person who accepted her in a way which was the foundation of their friendship. They’re just two girls who don’t want to be alone which actually plays into the whole magical girl thing.

to be a magical girl is to be alone. That’s what being a magical girl means in this world so their wish not to be alone is a contradiction because in not wanting to be alone they actually choose to be alone. Which is why I had Hotaru repeat that very phrase. “Who would choose to be alone?” Because she chose to be alone by becoming a magical girl. Loneliness was something I tried to emphasize.

anyway I think that’s it so yeah there you go.

 

Those really help me understand what you were going for, and it's nice to see your thought process! Roll Roll is very cute. The witch's labyrinth explanation...aww. So my question is, can "witches" take any monsterous from they want? They both seem like solid OCs for this anime. OCs! I have a hoard of them.

For mine, I said the new house leaders all have names that reflect their house mascot, but there is some more stuff there. If anyone has anything to say on my ramblings I'd love to hear it.

 

Astor: The name means "hawk". Edelgard named him, Hubert didn't provide any input. I headcanon Edelgard as being demisexual, as in no sexual urges until there's an emotional bond. Which means when she was presented with suitor options A, B, and C, she went option D and turned her vassal into a prince consort. She's a woman who knows what she's okay and not okay with and how to make things go her way, so there really was no point in arguing with her.

Fatherhood kinda softens Hubert up. Astor is a daddy's boy really, there's a strong bond there. Which will be handy when Astor is 25 and Edelgard's implanted crest finally kills her. Hubert bows and says "the torch has been passed, make her proud". Linhardt, being paired with Lysithea, has a crest removal method that saves the victim. But Edelgard is too proud to ask for it, to her, she's made her mark on the world and done her part, so she doesn't need to live too long.

 

Kion: Name comes from The Lion Guard cartoon, where it was used for the son of Simba and Nala. To Dimitri and Ingrid, Kion is the star of an ancient Faerghus folktale about a lion cub who overcomes all odds to take his place as king, like Dimitri did. Dimitri is a wholesome, protective dad as was implied. He wants his boy to have a great childhood and grow up safe and happy, since he didn't exactly get that himself.

Kion thinks all male rulers have one eye gouged out until he's four years old. He met Claude at that age at a time when the three were meeting up for some reason, and his first reaction was to ask why he had two eyes. Dimitri had to show him an old picture of Lambert and tell him that's his grandfather and the previous king.

 

Giselle and Collin: Claude picked Giselle because Golden Deer pride, a gazelle is like a deer and it sounds like it. Hilda picked Collin from a book of baby names. From an early age, Giselle was showing the "leader woman" in her. She'd eat her applesauce and then turn around and eat Collin's and basically bully him, but their parents put a stop to that.

Pinecone, Collin's wyvern, is the daughter of Claude's wyvern(Sven) and Hilda's wyvern(Greeni). A case of riders' romantic(sexual) bond rubbing off on the steeds.

Edited October 22, 2019 by Dragoncat

[Anacybele]

I'm disappointed in this round now. I thought my entry this time was one of my best and it only gets one vote while other entries got multiple. I guess it's trash... I'm a better artist than writer anyway.

Edited October 23, 2019 by Anacybele

[TheSilentChloey]

1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

I'm disappointed in this round now. I thought my entry this time was one of my best and it only gets one vote while other entries got multiple. I guess it's trash... I'm a better artist than writer anyway.

How many rounds have others gone through without a single vote Ana?

Persoanlly I thought your entry was great.  I might not have been able to full follow it because I haven't played the older Zelda games but that by no means made it a bad entry.

 

You shouldn't beat yourself up over a lack of votes.  If you feel it's your best piece then it IS your best piece.  Be proud of it and own it.

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, TheSilentChloey said:

How many rounds have others gone through without a single vote Ana?

Persoanlly I thought your entry was great.  I might not have been able to full follow it because I haven't played the older Zelda games but that by no means made it a bad entry.

 

You shouldn't beat yourself up over a lack of votes.  If you feel it's your best piece then it IS your best piece.  Be proud of it and own it.

Yeah, and that sucks for those people. I'm not trying to put them down, obviously. I'm putting myself down. I did just say my own entry must not be very good, after all. I'm grateful to have one vote, but I thought it was worthy of one or two more and it just bums me that it apparently really isn't.

Note, I'm not saying I have to win. I don't care about winning, I just want my entries to be well-liked, which basically means getting a couple votes.

[TheSilentChloey]

1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

Yeah, and that sucks for those people. I'm not trying to put them down, obviously. I'm putting myself down. I did just say my own entry must not be very good, after all. I'm grateful to have one vote, but I thought it was worthy of one or two more and it just bums me that it apparently really isn't.

Note, I'm not saying I have to win. I don't care about winning, I just want my entries to be well-liked, which basically means getting a couple votes.

Personally I don't actually care if my entries get votes or not (I am usually surprised when stuff gets Kudos over on A03 after all and I am still in shock over how well liked some of my more mature fictions are).

 

For me it's all about trying to improve my skills as a writer first and foremost, anything else comes secondary to the experience I gain.  Feedback is always welcomed because it shows where I could have improved on- unless it's obvious stuff I either did deliberately or felt screwed up the story someway.

 

I guess it boils down to what this 'contest' is all about.  If I do better than I did the previous week then I've grown as a writer.  By measuring against myself and going from there, that's where the growth happens- and it's also down to the writer's personal style if writing.

[AnonymousSpeed]

As the resident Armond White fan, I would like to say that popularity =/= quality. Especially at small scales with single voting systems, popular reception a silly metric to base things on. I don't want someone falling into a pity hole because of something silly.

[Ottservia]

4 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

Those really help me understand what you were going for, and it's nice to see your thought process! Roll Roll is very cute. The witch's labyrinth explanation...aww. So my question is, can "witches" take any monsterous from they want?

Well I'm glad you were able to gleam some understanding out of it. Yeah it's sad. One idea I did actually have was for Hotaru to turn into herself by the end cause y'know seeing her friend like this will do that but ultimately decided against it. To answer your question the form a witch takes reflects whoever the person was prior as well as the wish they made. To take some examples from the actual series you have:

Charlotte

Spoiler

A witch formed from a very young girl(say about six years old) who wished for cheesecake to share with her sick mother. This thing basically is a stuffed doll that expands into the second form on the left and it devours things(like heads for example) with a huge mouth with rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth.

Or you have Sayaka's witch form:

Spoiler

Which is a lot more creepy looking. She is known as the mermaid witch and there's a lot of symbolism here. The first being her regal-like appearance with the rapier and knight like armor which reflects Sayaka's chivalrous nature. The opera like background reflects the nature of the boy she loved who would never love her back. There's a lot more to this character than I have time to get into right now but just know that this witch is pact to the brim with visual symbolism regarding the character in question. @TheSilentChloey should know who I'm talking about. 

As for Maki well I chose a black dragon because I was kind of going for a knight motif(y'know knight vs dragon and all that) which is why the rapier is the weapon to finish the job and kill Hotaru because Maki was raised in a rich and regal-like household and I kind of wanted her witch form to reflect that while also reflecting her inner loneliness and despair. Maybe I could've done something different but that was the best I could come up with. Anyway, for a definitive answer to your question. The form a witch takes depends on the personality and characteristics of the magical girl who turned into said witch most notably the source of their despair which is the thing they'll resemble most of all. 

[TheSilentChloey]

19 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Well I'm glad you were able to gleam some understanding out of it. Yeah it's sad. One idea I did actually have was for Hotaru to turn into herself by the end cause y'know seeing her friend like this will do that but ultimately decided against it. To answer your question the form a witch takes reflects whoever the person was prior as well as the wish they made. To take some examples from the actual series you have:

Charlotte

  Hide contents

A witch formed from a very young girl(say about six years old) who wished for cheesecake to share with her sick mother. This thing basically is a stuffed doll that expands into the second form on the left and it devours things(like heads for example) with a huge mouth with rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth.

Or you have Sayaka's witch form:

  Hide contents

Which is a lot more creepy looking. She is known as the mermaid witch and there's a lot of symbolism here. The first being her regal-like appearance with the rapier and knight like armor which reflects Sayaka's chivalrous nature. The opera like background reflects the nature of the boy she loved who would never love her back. There's a lot more to this character than I have time to get into right now but just know that this witch is pact to the brim with visual symbolism regarding the character in question. @TheSilentChloey should know who I'm talking about. 

As for Maki well I chose a black dragon because I was kind of going for a knight motif(y'know knight vs dragon and all that) which is why the rapier is the weapon to finish the job and kill Hotaru because Maki was raised in a rich and regal-like household and I kind of wanted her witch form to reflect that while also reflecting her inner loneliness and despair. Maybe I could've done something different but that was the best I could come up with. Anyway, for a definitive answer to your question. The form a witch takes depends on the personality and characteristics of the magical girl who turned into said witch most notably the source of their despair which is the thing they'll resemble most of all. 

Oh yes, I most certainly do.  Hers was a really massive sucker punch to the feels too since she was one of my favourite characters.

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Oh yes, I most certainly do.  Hers was a really massive sucker punch to the feels too since she was one of my favourite characters.

Poor Sayaka. She just wanted to gain the attention of the boy she loved while also trying to stay true to her beliefs and make the world a better place but life's not fair like that so....yeah...shit happened. Fuck Kyubey honestly

[TheSilentChloey]

3 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Poor Sayaka. She just wanted to gain the attention of the boy she loved while also trying to stay true to her beliefs and make the world a better place but life's not fair like that so....yeah...shit happened. Fuck Kyubey honestly

Well said mate, well said.  Totally fuck that little white creature to hell and back a thousand times lol XP

[Ottservia]

Y’know out of context our hatred for this cute little cat creature may seem unreasonable but y’all have no idea the things this spawn of satan is responsible for

 

 

Edited October 8, 2021 by Ottservia

[TheSilentChloey]

Yeah it is responsible for a lot of trouble and antics.

[Ottservia]

2 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Yeah it is responsible for a lot of trouble and antics.

that's putting it extremely lightly. I mean it's not like he's responsible for the eternal damnation of human kind or anything but y'know

Edited October 23, 2019 by Ottservia

[TheSilentChloey]

1 hour ago, Ottservia said:

that's putting it extremely lightly. I mean it's not like he's responsible for the eternal damnation of human kind or anything but y'know

🤣 Yeah I was trying to go the least spoilery because to be fair some times you've got to see it to believe it.

[Ottservia]

So am I just incapable of writing a story where things don't end tragically? Cause it really does feel like that sometimes. 

[Azure the Scale Tipper]

2 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

So am I just incapable of writing a story where things don't end tragically? Cause it really does feel like that sometimes. 

Not incapable, per say, but maybe that is where your strengths and interests lie in.

You can definitely take some time to get out of your comfort zone with this thread, though. Maybe you have another strength in something more light-hearted, too?

Edited October 23, 2019 by Azure, Roundabouted Out

[Ottservia]

1 minute ago, Azure, Roundabouted Out said:

Not incapable, per say, but maybe that is where your strengths and interests lie in.

You can definitely take some time to get out of your comfort zone with this thread, though. Maybe you have another strength in something more light-hearted, too?

I've certainly tried more light heated and fluffy but I dunno there's just something about tragedy and angst that I just enjoy writing. Maybe I'll try something more fluffy next time who knows. I'll say though that writing death scenes is like crack. I just really like writing those

[Dragoncat]

12 hours ago, Ottservia said:

The form a witch takes depends on the personality and characteristics of the magical girl who turned into said witch most notably the source of their despair which is the thing they'll resemble most of all. 

I see, then you covered it well in your fic. The stitches, the friendship that never got back together. How sad. I'm gathering that all magical girls eventually become witches. Damn.

My notes, did you see them? They're more fluffy daww than yours for sure. I'd like some comments on those.

Oh, and I have noticed your fics usually turn dark and sad. It is a strength of yours, you'd be good at writing horror stories maybe.

[Ottservia]

18 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

I see, then you covered it well in your fic. The stitches, the friendship that never got back together. How sad. I'm gathering that all magical girls eventually become witches. Damn.

Yeah it certainly is fucked up but not all of them turn into witches. The rest die brutally and horrifically while fighting against witches. It's an endless cycle of loneliness and despair. Madoka magica is a fun show where nothing bad ever happens(I'm lying). Though there is a bit of a happy ending by the end but because this is gen urobuchi we're talking about it's not really a happy ending

 

18 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

My notes, did you see them? They're more fluffy daww than yours for sure. I'd like some comments on those.

I saw those couldn't give my full thoughts mainly cause I was on mobile and busy studying for midterms. But I really like Kion and how he thought all male rulers only had one eye that's really cute. I liked your naming conventions as well that's pretty clever. It seems Astor is gonna have a rough time when he gets older. Honestly that's an interesting relationship that could be explored. 

18 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Oh, and I have noticed your fics usually turn dark and sad. It is a strength of yours, you'd be good at writing horror stories maybe.

funny thing about that is that I hate reading/watching/playing horror but I love writing it. It's very weird

Edited October 23, 2019 by Ottservia

[Dragoncat]

52 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

It seems Astor is gonna have a rough time when he gets older. Honestly that's an interesting relationship that could be explored. 

Given that Hubert had a...bad relationship with his own father, it's a nice contrast.

53 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

But I really like Kion and how he thought all male rulers only had one eye that's really cute.

Kids generalize at that age much like animals. A good example of it with an animal is the horse who was abused by a man in a white hat, so he hated anybody who wore a white hat.

[Anacybele]

It was my idea to name Dimitri's kid Kion. lol It's a shoutout to Disney's The Lion Guard. The main character is a lion named Kion. The show's final season had Kion get a scar over one eye as well...lol.

[Dragoncat]

Just now, Anacybele said:

It was my idea to name Dimitri's kid Kion. lol It's a shoutout to Disney's The Lion Guard. The main character is a lion named Kion. The show's final season had Kion get a scar over one eye as well...lol.

Kind of a joint idea actually. I didn't know about the scar over the eye!

[Anacybele]

26 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Kind of a joint idea actually. I didn't know about the scar over the eye!

I guess that's true, yeah. And yeah, that scar comes from none other than Scar, who returned as a hellish spirit of sorts. It was a curse for awhile too, and caused Kion to lose control of himself sometimes. He had to go on a long journey to find a way to lift the curse which is basically what the final season is about. And this is also the explanation for Kion not appearing during the events of The Lion King II. This journey takes place at the same time as that big war between Simba's and Zira's respective groups.

Spoiler

As you can see, he could get pretty damn angry because of this thing. He's one of the coolest looking cartoon lions though imo. Just wish his mane had filled out a bit more at this point! He is obviously younger than Kiara and Kovu, but yeah.

Edited October 23, 2019 by Anacybele

[Azure the Scale Tipper]

2 hours ago, Anacybele said:

It was my idea to name Dimitri's kid Kion. lol It's a shoutout to Disney's The Lion Guard. The main character is a lion named Kion. The show's final season had Kion get a scar over one eye as well...lol.

I knew that it seemed a bit off that Dragoncat had someone named after a Disney character. But hey, you two are friends; helping is simply part of it all. Reminds me of how my youngest aunt is a big Disney fan. She even works for the company, though I forgot her position.

Speaking of Dimitri, I am still sure that his route will be the setting of 2nd gen fics from me. Though, I am still a bit hung up on who to pair with each other, lol.

[Dragoncat]

16 minutes ago, Azure, Roundabouted Out said:

I knew that it seemed a bit off that Dragoncat had someone named after a Disney character. But hey, you two are friends; helping is simply part of it all. Reminds me of how my youngest aunt is a big Disney fan. She even works for the company, though I forgot her position.

Speaking of Dimitri, I am still sure that his route will be the setting of 2nd gen fics from me. Though, I am still a bit hung up on who to pair with each other, lol.

I'm not as much of a Disney person as she is, but I grew up with it. Really I needed a lion name and Leo is too obvious. That's cool about your aunt!