Dragoncat Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 4 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said: If I ever write something that I have to warn you I’m throwing an (M) rating on, it’s going to be outright pornographic. SAME. Even if my smut also tends to count as fluff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 If I write something that has an M rating, it's going to be much more because of a lot of blood rather than sexual stuff. I don't do smut. Only sex stuff I write is implied sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 The rule doesn't even say no swearing. It just says no smut and "try to keep it PG13." A pg13 rating (which legally none of us can even deliver {presumably}) is just an advisory, not part of the rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 4 hours ago, Dragoncat said: Can we let Anon decide what's M and what's not? Also the rules just say no smut. Other R rated stuff should be fine. I don't believe in rules, but I read the story anyway because I am a good host. I mean, I see were Chloey's coming from. It's vulgar, there's more discussion of anal penetration than I'm personally fond of, but, like, I'll let it slide, I guess. 4 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: Also in AUS at least that much swearing is a flat M. I suppose we're a lot stricter on our ratings than you Americans. 1 hour ago, Jotari said: It's about a peadophile murdering and ramping a twelve year old girl. Rated pg13. The United States also lowered a film's rating from M to PG-13 because they color-adjusted some blood several times, so, like, they don't always succeed in their own spirit and nor are they handled very strictly, yes. Also, this whole time I never caught on to the fact that Chloey was Australian until now. Good eye might, let's all run down to the Macca's and participate in government elections, eh? Shrimp on the barbie! ... OI 'STRALIA C- 2 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: Also dropping this thing because I'm not having a childish arguement with you right now. I do not want to butt heads with anyone, and I honestly am tired of your consistent back and forths like this where we get no where and you get my back up. 2 hours ago, Anacybele said: I just call out someone when I think they're in the wrong, nothing more. You're the one that starts stuff. But I'm tired of it myself, so whatever. I don't need this right now anyway, I need to go cool off somewhere for a bit (not because of you, because of some unrelated stuff). A good step back can help you keep things in perspective and develop a position which is more agreeable to all parties involved, including yourself. 58 minutes ago, Ottservia said: Ok so 2 hours left about one maybe two scenes to write. Can I do this? You've got closer to 40 minutes now. I believe in you. *** Anyway, I'm actually working on a non-participant entry for fun, but it's taking a little longer than I expected and I honestly don't know if it'll be done in the next few days or not, so...yeah. Come the deadline I'll put up a poll and start the rank voting if I can, then...we'll be on our marry way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Speaking of non-participant entries, I have to apologize for never writing one for the prompt I gave in the previous round. I just ended up being busy with school and stuff... >_< Someday I'll write that story anyway though, as I'd already had it in mind for some time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 16 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: I don't believe in rules, but I read the story anyway because I am a good host. I mean, I see were Chloey's coming from. It's vulgar, there's more discussion of anal penetration than I'm personally fond of, but, like, I'll let it slide, I guess. The United States also lowered a film's rating from M to PG-13 because they color-adjusted some blood several times, so, like, they don't always succeed in their own spirit and nor are they handled very strictly, yes. Also, this whole time I never caught on to the fact that Chloey was Australian until now. Good eye might, let's all run down to the Macca's and participate in government elections, eh? Shrimp on the barbie! ... OI 'STRALIA C- A good step back can help you keep things in perspective and develop a position which is more agreeable to all parties involved, including yourself. You've got closer to 40 minutes now. I believe in you. *** Anyway, I'm actually working on a non-participant entry for fun, but it's taking a little longer than I expected and I honestly don't know if it'll be done in the next few days or not, so...yeah. Come the deadline I'll put up a poll and start the rank voting if I can, then...we'll be on our marry way. Mate actually we don't pronounce it is Might XD but close enough to be a passible Aussie XP but not fair dinkum levels of Aussie lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) FUCKING MADE IT WITH FOUR MINUTES LEFT!!!! The Rise of The Ice Queen Fandom: Fire Emblem: Awakeing Word Count: 2,537 Spoiler Dark clouds swirled above the mighty peaks of mount doom. Upon this cursed mountain sat an impenetrable fortress made of the toughest steel known to man, Defendium! Fort Bean Bean as it was called was home to the super duper evil and scary Beano The Barbarian Queen! A villain so heinous and so super duper awesomely powerful that even the masked nightwing couldn’t stop her. “Mwahahahaha!!” The barbarian queen laughed maliciously, “It’s over nightwing! Now that I have the legendary Fire emblem no one can stop me!” The blue haired ‘woman’ taunted as she showed off the ‘glowing shield’ on her arm (In reality it was a little blue haired girl with a wooden pot lid loosely strapped to her arm). “Nnghh N-no y-you haven’t won yet” The masked hero said weakly as he tried to struggle to his feet. “Ha! Still alive are you? Well I can change that!” ‘Beano’ twisted her body into an awesome attack pose, “Special Attack: Galewing Blast!!!” She shouted as a supercharged blast of wind shot from her hand. Which is what Cynthia and Gerome thought was happening anyway, in reality the little girl flapped her arms about like a bird and made ‘whoosh’ sounds with her mouth. ‘nightwing’s’ eyes widened in horror as the mighty gale barreled towards him. Although with his mask, it was kinda hard to tell. “Secret Technique: Macadeon Shield!!” A new heroic sounding voice bellowed out. Well actually it sounded more like a little girl’s scream in reality. Just then, a massive energy barrier swirled into existence in front of nightwing. The wind blast slammed into the barrier at full force as debris and even nightwing were blown back by the sheer force of the attack. As the dust cleared, two new people came into view. One was a orange-haired man garbed in an impressive sword master uniform emblazoned with many awesome looking accessories that would honestly take too much time to really describe so just know that he looked really really cool. The other was a woman with short red hair that wore something akin to a grandmaster’s robes but with much more visual flare that would be boring to fully describe. “Looks like we made it in time” The redhead breathed a sigh of relief. “Ha! Magnificent work my crimson haired valkyrie!” The sword master said to his most fated ally. The barbarian queen’s jaw dropped “Impossible!? How could you have stopped my ultimate technique?!” “Your mighty winds stand no chance against the defensive power of the Macedeon Shield!” Owain dark boasted. “But how could you have mastered such a powerful technique?!” Morg-...er Marc the mysterious smirked as she finished healing her downed comrade, “don’t underestimate the power of the Justice Cabal” nightwing and Owain Dark both nodded, “That’s right now prepare yourself Beano the Barbarian Queen! You will now witness our true power first hand!” The great hero of darkness said as he unsheathed the legendary dark blade Missiletainn! “Wait…” Beano took a step back. Well actually the kid just held up a small stick he found outside but it was a really cool stick ok. It had a handle and it was all thick and perfect for swinging and everything. Owain dark glanced back at his two comrade in arms, “are you guys ready?” he said all cool like. “Yeah” “Of course” All three of them struck a synchronized pose with their sti...er ladl....(no that’s not right either)...they all struck a synchronized pose with their legendary weapons! “Now, Missiletainn!” “Gulbulg!” “Wulf Borg!” “ULTIMATE COMBINATION ATTACK: TRI-” “Wait TIMEOUT!!” Cynthia suddenly interjected and made a ‘T’ with her arms. The imaginary world crumbled away as legendary weapons of awesome power were replaced with plain old sticks and kitchen utensils. “Aww come on Cynthia we were just about to unleash our super awesome combo move” Owain lamented as he turned to face his cousin. “Yeah Cynthia come on” Morgan interjected. “It was gonna be so cool, right Gerome?” She glanced over at the burgundy haired boy beside her. Gerome nodded, “Yeah we would’ve won for sure” Cynthia’s cheeks puffed out into a pouty face, “you would’ve won because you have three people on your side while I’m just alone” She crossed her arms, “It isn’t fair” “Well we’re the heroes and heroes always have super awesome allies at their side!” Owain said as he turned to Gerome and Morgan for confirmation. Morgan nodded, “Yeah Owain is right heroes have to have friends to help them or else they can’t be heroes or at least that’s what daddy tells me” “Well bad guys can have allies too, right?” Cynthia asked as she continued to pout. Gerome shook his head, “No, bad guys don’t have friends because they’re bad guys and no one wants to be friends with a bad guy” “I still think it’s not fair” Cynthia said as she turned her eyes away in defeat, “I want a really cool combo move too” “I know!” Owain spoke up again, “Why doesn’t beano join the justice cabal and become a hero that way we can all have a super special awesome combo move!” Cynthia’s face lit up as she looked back at Owain, “Really? Beano can join the justice Cabal?!” “Of course,” He nodded. “Yeah it’ll be just like Camus from the storybooks” Morgan clapped her hands together as she beamed a smile at Cynthia, “He was once a bad guy but after he was defeated he came back as a hero that helped the hero-king marth” “Didn’t he have a different name though?” Gerome raised an eyebrow. Morgan nodded, “Yeah but that makes it even cooler because it’s like you’re a new person now that you’re not a bad guy anymore” “I guess” “What are you talking about it’s totally cool!” Owain cut in. Cynthia smiled, “Alright! I will no longer be Beano the Barbarian Queen so from this day forth I shall be known as…” The little princess ran on top of a nearby rock and struck a pose, “CYNTHIA THE GALEWING STRIKER!!!” “Awesome” Morgan said in awe. “You look like a true hero up there” Gerome added. Cynthia blushed for a moment after hearing those words, “Aww thanks guys” Cynthia hopped off the rock. “It’s good to have you CYNTHIA THE GALEWING STRIKER!” Owain Dark said as he held out his hand. “With you at our side the justice cabal will be stronger than it ever has been!” “I won’t disappoint you” The galewing striker said as she returned the handshake. So then after a long fought and grueling battle, Rays of sun shone over the remnants of the once powerful Fort Bean Bean which was now nothing more than a pile of rubble. Beano the Barbarian Queen was defeated and has now joined the powerful Justice Cabal in their fight for justice as Cynthia the Galewing Striker! All was well until Marc the mysterious raised a new problem “So who do we fight now?” The other three just raised an eyebrow at her. “I mean Beano was the only bad guy the justice cabal had so now that she’s joined us what bad guy do we fight now?” “That’s a good question” Owain said as he put his hand to his chin in thought. “Can’t we just fight imaginary bad guys?” Cynthia asked. Gerome shook his head, “That would be boring” “Yeah you’re right” Her pigtails drooped. For several minutes, all four kids stood there thinking. “What are you all doing out here?” A familiar voice asked. “Hey Severa” Morgan chirped as she ran up to her older sister. “We’re playing justice cabal, wanna play with us?” Severa looked down at Morgan’s smiling face and then at the other kids, “Why should I waste my time playing with all of you?” “It’ll be loads of fun, you could be the new bad guy we fight” Cynthia chirped. “You would be the uhh…” “The Freezing Ice Queen!” Owain suddenly cut in. “You would super cool ice powers like whoosh and freeze!” he said making a bunch of random yet cool attack poses Gerome nodded, “Yeah come on join us” “Sounds lame” Severa scoffed, “And why would I want to be the bad guy?! Don’t they always lose?!” “Aww come on Sev play with us” Morgan pleaded, “I’ll even be on your side for a little while” Severa crossed her arms, “No way besides I have real training to do and have no time for any of this stupid pretend stuff” “Nuh-uh, the Justice Cabal is serious business! And not ‘stupid pretend stuff’” Cynthia shot back. Severa let out a light chuckle, “I don’t see how shouting a bunch of weird and stupid attack names can be considered serious business” “Well even if you don’t want to be the bad guy, you’re certainly acting like one” Gerome said as he crossed his arms. “What did you say?!” Severa shot a glare at the raven-haired boy. “You heard me” He glared back. “Yeah Gerome’s right!” Owain joined in. “Yeah she wouldn’t make for a very good enemy anyway!” Cynthia stuck her tongue out. Severa’s glare darted to Cynthia, “I’d be the best darned enemy your little ‘Justice Cabal’ has EVER faced!!” “Then prove it!” Cynthia shot back “Fine! I will! But don’t even think for second I’m gonna have fun playing with you!” She spat with a huff as she grabbed a nearby stick. “Prepare to feel Hel’s wrath” She said in an almost bone-chilling voice. ----- Ahem so picking up where they last left off, the Justice Cabal had not only defeated Beano the Barbarian Queen but also recruited her into their ranks. However, evil never rests as soon a new enemy would approach. The sunlight over mount doom faded into specs as an icy breeze glazed through the air. Dark clouds loomed overhead as a storm of ice and snow began to sweep through the wind. “What’s going on? why did it get so cold?” Owain Dark asked as he looked up at the dark clouds looming overhead. “The wind is so irregular” The galestriker observed as she held her hand out in front of her. “I can’t find any patterns in it” “This ice I’ve seen it before it’s…” “What is it Marc?” nightwing asked. “Only one being could make ice and snow this cold it can only be…” Just before Marc the Mysterious could finish her sentence, a torrential blizzard focused in a beam struck the summit and separated the justice cabal. “Mwahahahaha” A malicious laughter rang from the beyond the heavens. Through the clouds, a woman with twintails on a snow white pegasus descended from the clouds. Her hair was the color of snow as it flowed endlessly in the wind. “So this is the famed ‘Justice Cabal’ how pathetic” A spark of light glimmered from the snow covered peak. “SPECIAL ATTACK: GALEFORCE AETHER!!!!” Shouted a female voice. The ice queen glanced down as Cynthia rocketed towards her on a pegasus of her own. A bright yellow aura coated her body as she held out her spear. The queen scoffed, “what a pitiful display” She said as she held out her hand. “Hel’s shield!” the surrounding snow all swirled around her hand until a giant shield formed in front of her. The ‘GALEFORCE AETHER!!!!’ Collided with the ‘Hel’s Shield’(really a stick smacked a pot lid) as a massive shockwave nearly shook the heavens. The ice queen smirked, “Impressive but....” With her other free hand, she reached into the clouds and pulled out a really cool looking sword of ice, “ICEWING BLADE!!” She shouted as she brought the sword down on the famed galewing striker. Cynthia and her pegasus crashed into the side of the mountain at near blinding speed. A massive crater formed where she fell. “Cynthia!!” Owain Dark called out to his new comrade. “Come on you guys we have to use our ultimate combo move” He glanced back to Nightwing and Marc who had just found the strength to get up. “Right” “You got it” All three of them gathered and held up their sacred weapons. “Missiletainn!” “Gulbulg!” “Wulf Borg!” “ULTIMATE COMBINATION ATTACK: WEAPON TRIAD SUPER BEAM!!!!” A massive beam of energy erupted from the tips of their weapons and launched itself at the snow-haired valkyrie in the sky. “An impressive attack but it won’t be enough to stop me!” She shouted as she pointed her sword down at them, “HEL’S WRATH!!!” She yelled as a torrential focused hail beam fired from her sword. The two attacks collided in massive explosion that shook the very earth itself. As the dust cleared, the Ice Queen was nowhere to be found. “D-did we get her?” Asked Nightwing. “I-I think s-” Marc said before a giant icicle dove from the sky and through her chest. “Marc” Nightwing and Owain Dark shouted in unison. “HEL’S RAIN” A familiar voice bellowed from the sky as a flurry of giant icicles hailed from the sky. Immediately the two remaining heroes moved to dodge the hailstorm of death. Owain Dark was able to evade with ease. Nightwing on the other hand due to his wounds wasn’t so lucky. “Nightwing!” Owain Dark called out to his old friend. “Go on w-without me” He said before collapsing to the floor. “No” “Mwahahahahah!!” Owain Dark shot a stone cold glare at the ice queen hovering in the sky. “How pathetic, I knew you were no match for me but this is just pitiful” She looked down at the swordmaster and continued to laugh. Owain gulped and looked down at his right arm swathed in bandages and weird markings. He swore to never use that power again lest he lose control but...He looked back up at the ice queen. Now he had no choice. No way was he going to defeat with the bloodthirsty power of his cursed sword hand. Gritting his teeth, The swordmaster tore away the bandages on his arm as a massive surge of power and energy began to billow forth from his body. The ice queen glanced down with a raised eyebrow, “What’s going on now?” TO BE CONTINUED... There were so many more ideas I wanted to implement but had to cut due to time. All in all it's a bit sloppy and rough but I think it's alright Edited April 16, 2019 by Ottservia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 4 minutes ago, Ottservia said: FUCKING MADE IT WITH FOUR MINUTES LEFT!!!! I told you I believed in you. I was right. And you were write. Huzzah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: I told you I believed in you. I was right. And you were write. Huzzah. yeah lol though I had to cut some of my ideas and rush some parts to get it done. but at least I did get it done and it feels good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Lol it was an awesome read still @Ottservia! Really fun XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interdimensional Observer Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 2 hours ago, Dragoncat said: Another example I can think of is how in OoT it's said gerudo look for hylian "boyfriends". We all know that means they take guys home and bow chicka bow wow, and the carpenters in jail imply they can be pushy. But the way it's shown keeps it at an E rating. "Pushy" or "makes reproduction slaves out of men"? Although in the case of the carpenters and the music that plays while they freely swing their arms in joy, it's possible that the Gerudo picked poorly and ended up taking in some gay guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said: Lol it was an awesome read still @Ottservia! Really fun XD thanks I tried to go for a more comedic and light hearted story this time around. I also think I got waaay too into it at the end. Edited April 16, 2019 by Ottservia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 48 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: The United States also lowered a film's rating from M to PG-13 because they color-adjusted some blood several times, so, like, they don't always succeed in their own spirit and nor are they handled very strictly, yes. That's the thing that irks me the most about rating systems. It sticks to very technical lines rather than analyzing the spirit or actual affect of something. It also arbitrarily allows way more violence than sexual content or bad language with is outright backwards in my mind. A'int nothing wrong with sex or bad language, but violence is absolutely terrible and should be discouraged (not that I'm against action movies mind you). And people get around this by showing sex, but just not showing nudity, again violating the spirit of what the restriction is meant to be depicting while maintaining the strict rigid definition and comes with the added implication that sex is fine, but the human body is off limits despite all of us having one. Most hilarious example of this is the 60s Romeo and Juliet movie where the actress who played Juliet wasn't allowed to attend the premier because she was under the age rating. And the movie had said age rating due to a brief few seconds of her breasts being shown. So the result was that she was legally unable to look at her own body. I'm ranting now but the sum of my thoughts is that age ratings are just restrictive without actually being helpful and should be dispatched entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 14 minutes ago, Ottservia said: yeah lol though I had to cut some of my ideas and rush some parts to get it done. but at least I did get it done and it feels good *** Poll is up, my dudes. Also, https://rcv-app.firebaseapp.com/poll/-LcZLZICNxVw7bJ-S4CO/ballot Rank voting is up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 13 minutes ago, Interdimensional Observer said: "Pushy" or "makes reproduction slaves out of men"? Although in the case of the carpenters and the music that plays while they freely swing their arms in joy, it's possible that the Gerudo picked poorly and ended up taking in some gay guys. Nah man, the carpenters went there specifically because they thought they were all going to get their own harem. Boy were they wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousSpeed Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) I have been ninja'd by Jotari twice. 8 minutes ago, Jotari said: That's the thing that irks me the most about rating systems. It sticks to very technical lines rather than analyzing the spirit or actual affect of something. On one hand, that might be the best way for ratings to be made, not necessarily dependent on any personal preference. On the other, film ratings aren't really made on super technical lines, I don't think. They have a board of people who have to watch movies and determine the rating, and while they have guidelines it's their determination at the end of the day. If it wasn't set up that way, the above example wouldn't have occurred. It probably happened because the ratings board got extremely desensitized to the violence in the film after so many viewings. Further, I'd argue there are contexts and audiences were sexual content and bad words are harmful or at least inappropriate, and there are times were violence is beneficial and appropriate, but, hey, I kinda get were you're coming from. 8 minutes ago, Jotari said: Most hilarious example of this is the 60s Romeo and Juliet movie where the actress who played Juliet wasn't allowed to attend the premier because she was under the age rating. And the movie had said age rating due to a brief few seconds of her breasts being shown. ...what was the age rating of that movie? 'Cause, uh...that sounds kinda...inappropriate on a few levels. 8 minutes ago, Jotari said: I'm ranting now but the sum of my thoughts is that age ratings are just restrictive without actually being helpful and should be dispatched entirely. Not perfect =/= should be removed. Don't get me wrong, there's no substitute for diligent parental supervision, but they can serve as a useful shorthand for parents. Edited April 16, 2019 by AnonymousSpeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 So I just had a rando thought. Anyone want to see A Dragon's First Mission rewoked to its proper intent? Just for shits and giggles? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) 11 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: I have been ninja'd by Jotari twice. On one hand, that might be the best way for ratings to be made, not necessarily dependent on any personal preference. On the other, film ratings aren't really made on super technical lines, I don't think. They have a board of people who have to watch movies and determine the rating, and while they have guidelines it's their determination at the end of the day. If it wasn't set up that way, the above example wouldn't have occurred. It probably happened because the ratings board got extremely desensitized to the violence in the film after so many viewings. Further, I'd argue there are contexts and audiences were sexual content and bad words are harmful or at least inappropriate, and there are times were violence is beneficial and appropriate, but, hey, I kinda get were you're coming from. It is done by a board, but the result seem to be based on very technical lines than personal preference, precisely because movie makers want or don't want certain ratings in order to increase revenue. Any perceived bias would be contested very heavily. Movie makers no exactly what age limit of movie their making and exactly what content needs to be added or removed to change it. 11 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: ...what was the age rating of that movie? 'Cause, uh...that sounds kinda...inappropriate on a few levels. 60s man. Things were crazy back then. Although on review to see the truth of this urban myth, she was 16 or 17 when the film was released and it had a 16 rating (or A) rating, so it's not strictly speaking true (even if news sources did print it as true at the time, so it's not random baseless rumor, or at least not as baseless as some urban myths). Still she probably was under age when the scene was filmed so if post production was quicker the hypocrisy of it could still have been true (I also wouldn't discount that she's just gone and changed her birth year to make herself older to escape this reputation)...60s man, things be crazy. 12 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said: Not perfect =/= should be removed. Don't get me wrong, there's no substitute for diligent parental supervision, but they can serve as a useful shorthand for parents. I just don't see any positives and tonnes of negatives for age ratings. If they were just cautionary things to inform parents like they're intended and purported to be, then that'd be cool. But they're clearly not. Edited April 16, 2019 by Jotari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 9 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said: So I just had a rando thought. Anyone want to see A Dragon's First Mission rewoked to its proper intent? Just for shits and giggles? Yes. And thats how I wanted to see it the first time around. (I'm pretty sure I told you that all the way back when you first made it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSilentChloey Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 2 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said: Yes. And thats how I wanted to see it the first time around. (I'm pretty sure I told you that all the way back when you first made it) Well I'm prewarning you now it's likely going to levels of dark that you might not feel comfortable with reading, so it will be a read at your own peril. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoblongoo Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) 39 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said: Well I'm prewarning you now it's likely going to levels of dark that you might not feel comfortable with reading, so it will be a read at your own peril. "Too Dark for Yu-Gi-Oh" level dark? or"The Captain calls down to prep the ship for 'warp expedition.' At that time 12,000 slaves who have never seen the outside of a work galley begin shoveling the dead bodies of the previous workers into massive furnaces, and a blinded mentally traumatized man inside a metal egg begins screaming uncontrollably. Your ship then ploughs into the miasma of what you could call 'Hell' if you lacked imagination. You pray to the Holy Throne your Astropath doesn’t accidentally get lost, become possessed, or just explode like a mushy human pinata from the mental stress of being used as a psychic battery. If the void shields even flicker on your 8,000 years old vessel (and no one actually understands how they work), Daemons made of pure rape will break into your reality and do things you literally cannot imagine to every soul aboard. You serve genocidal religious zealot space Nazis with a morbid fear of technology and an unhealthy fondness for burning things--and they're the good guys. God exists, and so does the Devil. Only it's like 20 Devils. And they all want to see you suffer. And God is paralyzed for life and has to eat souls to keep breathing, but you still worship him because he eats less souls than any of the Devils. Also--Jesus decided to betray God and his clone still goes around killing people. Welcome to 40k." level dark? ________ lol I'll be fine. Show me what ya got Edited April 16, 2019 by Shoblongoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Hey, guys, I wanna join in for next time. Hopefully, I do not get to caught up in too many things, but I’ll try to make some stories. Besides, it is nice to get notes on work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottservia Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Always willing to welcome someone new to our little, as shob put it, dungeon of fun. The more the merrier I say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure the Scale Tipper Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Hehe... ...good. I suppose you can expect Fire Emblem, Smash, and even a little D&D stuff from me (supplementary material to campaigns I am in. One will be based on stuff I did in preparation for a campaign with @Bhoop). Whatever else I can think of, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Okay, going to do critique now before I end up finding that I don't have time or something. xP @SoulWeaver Spoiler Sorry, but I had a hard time reading this because the paragraphs and dialogue aren't properly spaced. It just looks like a big wall of text without any spaces. I'd prefer if you properly spaced your entry next time. Besides this though, it's not a bad story at all, even if I don't prefer to read about limbs being ripped off someone. But that's just preference. :P Good job! @Jotari Spoiler Hey, don't sell yourself short here! I thought this was great. :) I like the characters and the references to world history. Though I admit I have a bit of bias for world history since I tend to find it interesting. Also, poor New York, geez. First someone takes out the towers, now someone else just wants to completely raze it. Really made me feel for the city. This was well written all around! @Shoblongoo Spoiler Haha, this was entertaining. XD I got a good laugh out of it! Even if I don't like Ephraim's fate at the end there, yikes. Although, one thing I must critique is that this Captain Hellfish seems to be TOO strong and too good at whatever he does. It seems to say he never fails at anything and beats anybody that goes up against him. Comes off as rather Stuish. Otherwise, this was good. lol @Ottservia Spoiler You have a cute idea here, but I don't feel it fits with the prompt enough. You didn't introduce any new characters that we don't already know, let alone a new villain. It's just kids playing pretend. Which like I said, isn't a bad idea in itself, I just don't feel it works for this prompt. And you have numerous grammatical errors too. I'm confused that it has any votes. No offense, I like the idea, as I said, I think it's cute. I just don't feel you picked the right contest for it. @TheSilentChloey Spoiler Interesting plot, but I'm rather confused at who exactly is supposed to be the villain here. And you used quite a bit of Japanese which I am not familiar with either. You're still struggling to explain much, I think. But don't worry about it, improving as a writer is often a process and you're not going to improve by leaps and bounds overnight. Just keep at it. You've got plenty potential. I've read much worse than your stuff. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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