SF's "Write Your Butt Off" Competition HD II.5 Remix

[Shoblongoo]

Title:  Iron Chef: Fodlan

Fandom:  Fire Emblem Crossover

Word Count:  5,435
 

 

A delectable American tradition stolen from Japan has taken root in Fodlan. Garreg Mach has been graced with its very own Kitchen Stadium, where our benevolent Archbishop gathers the best of the best from around the world to compete in CULINARY COMBAT!!!!

Today’s challenger hails from the land of Hoshido, where she cooks for the royal family and international dignitaries as personal chef to Samurai King Ryoma. Her farm-to-table approach to fresh, simple ingredients and crisp flavors have earned her accolades in kitchens across the realm.

The Archbishop is honored to welcome: CHEF MOZU!!!  

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth bowed. “You cook for the Samurai King. Will the Iron Chefs today feel the wrath of your kitchen bushido, or will you fold, like ORAGAMI!?!?!?”  

“We’re here to win today, Archbishop.” Chef Mozu bowed back.

“EXCELLENT!!!” Byleth observed the time-honored Kitchen Stadium tradition of shouting with overacted theatrics. “And now, Fodlan, your very own Iron Chefs.”

He’s a man of few words, but his food does the talking.  Renowned for his exotic spices, complex technique, and bold flavors. He’s big and packs a punch and so do his plates. Fodlan’s foremost expert on Duscur Cuisine. IRON CHEF: DEDUE!!!

He started as a painter, and brings his finely-honed aesthetic and play on textures, shapes, and colors to Kitchen Stadium. The plate is his canvas. His dishes; works of art that are almost too beautiful to be eaten. IRON CHEF: IGNATZ!!!

He’s an underworld kingpin with avant-garde flair and a refined palate, who went from running a criminal empire to a culinary one. His inventive dishes and new age reimagining of classic recipes are redefining cotemporary Fodlan cuisine. IRON CHEF: YURI!!

“And now the time has come for our challenger to choose which Iron Chef will be CALLED TO BATTLE!!!” Byleth announced.

“I came to battle the best.” Mozu chose. “I choose: Iron Chef Dedue.”

“A brave choice.” Byleth approved. “But there is one more ingredient to today’s battle. The theme on which today’s chefs will offer their SUCCULENT VARIATIONS!!!! Today’s secret ingredient is…”

*cue fog machine and overly dramatic music*

“SHIELDFISH!!!

__________

Battle Shieldfish is on in Kitchen Stadium.

Shieldfish of course being indigenous to the Valm region. It has a thick scaly shell that the ancient Valentians actually use to remove, forge, and use as shields. The skin is not edible. There’s a lot of thick, tough pieces that need to be removed before the chefs can really start working with the meat.

Over on the challenger’s side—sous-chef Kaze wasting no time breaking down the fish. Let’s see that again in slow motion. Amazing knife work from sous-chef Kaze. The sous-chef is harvesting a premium cut from the belly meat and slicing it down into what looks like sashimi sized cuts. That’s likely going into some kind of sushi preparation.

Chef Mozu—dicing peaches and frying them with a mixture of vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and brandy . Not sure what that’s going to be yet. Possibly some kind of dessert course.

Also on Chef Mozu’s station—fish heads going into a pot with fresh aromatics. That’s some kind of stock coming together. It looks like the challenger is going to be making a soup.

Over on Iron Chef Dedue’s side—not sure if sous-chef Flayn is taking that fish apart or making love to it. Either way, great technique.

A cut of that fish sous-chef Flayn has been working with—going into a smoker now. Not something we usually see in Fodlan cuisine, but a technique we’ve often seen from the Iron Chef in his Duscur preparations. Wonder what that’s going to be.

Sous-chef Ashe—whisking a combination of Noa Fruit and Chickpeas into a batter. It looks like he’s making the battering element for an Enbarr Fish Tart.  I don’t see any herring on his station; the classic Enbarr tart of course being traditionally made with herring. Interesting.

Iron Chef Dedue—working with a combination of ingredients I’ve, frankly, never seen before.  Red Bell Pepper, Onion, Tomato, Garlic, Lemon Juice, Curry Powder, Coconut Milk, Canola Oil, Cilantro...”

“This is a Duscur summer preparation for firm white fish.”  Dedue explained. “It is called Mtuzi wa Samaki.”  

“Is that traditionally served with Shieldfish, Chef?”  Byleth asked.

“Traditionally we use halibut. Shieldfish is not native to the region or used in any of its cuisines.” Dedue explained. “Shieldfish is bland, and has a very mild flavor. In Valmese cooking it is often left this way. Sometimes floured and fried, or sauced with orange zest. This is—uninteresting. Our inspiration today will be to take techniques used to prepare the fish of Fodlan and Duscur, and use them to enhance the flavor of the fish.”

Well, there you have it. The Iron Chefs plan is to recreate the flavorful fish dishes of Duscur and Fodlan, subbing in the Archbishop’s Secret Ingredient for the local fish.  

Iron Chef Dedue seasoning now with a veritable arsenal of exotic herbs and spices, andddd the only thing I recognize is salt and pepper. One of these days I swear; I’m going to learn what  goes into those Duscur spice rubs.

And I’m seeing another pan coming out now on the Iron Chef’s station.  More Garlic. More Onions. More Tomatoes. Green Chili Peppers, Okra, Kale, Lemon Juice, Palm Oil, Bay Leaves, and Arrowroot Starch. I’m not going to even try and guess what that’s going to be.

“Calulu.”  Dedue described the dish. “A Duscur preparation for stewed fish and vegetable. This will be our soup course.”

…okay…so Iron Chef Dedue is building a vegetable broth for a stew. Those chili peppers are going to give it some heat. And that fish sous-chef Flayn had in the smoker—coming out now and going down in the iron chef’s broth.  The smokiness from that fish is gonna play off the heat from those peppers. Wow; that dish is gonna have a ton of flavor.  

Back on the challenger’s side—Chef Mozu’s peach mixture is off the stove and in the hands of sous-chef Flora, going into a blender. Andddd that’s going to be a sauce. Steamed Fish in Peach Sauce of course being a very traditional Hoshidan preparation.

Also on the challenger’s side—Chef Mozu has a fillet-of-fish buttered up and going into a poaching liquid. Very interesting—that’s a Nhorian preparation. It looks like we are going to be seeing more than just a traditional Hoshidan menu from the challenger.                                                         

More proteins coming out on the challenger’s side—I see sous-chef Kaze breaking down a beautiful cut of Wagyu Beef. That’s of course Hoshido’s most luxurious meat. Some jumbo lump crab joining the party And over on Sous-Chef Flora’s station, is that—YES—that’s cheddar! Sous-Chef Flora is making Mac n’ Cheese!!!  

Risky move here from the challenger—these richer ingredients could overwhelm the flavor of the Shieldfish.

Those sashimi cuts sous-chef Kaze was working on at the beginning of the battle are going into two different preparations now. A sushi dish—being prepared by Chef Mozu.  Some cuts also being dressed with anchovy oil. And those are going down in what I’m going to call a play on Caesar Salad. Two raw dishes from the challenger—I don’t know how our judges are going to feel about that.

“That’s one dish.” Chef Mozu calls out.

ONE dish!?  Goodness—Chef Mozu certainly has her work cut out for her. Well I’m guessing that sushi and salad is going to be her first course.  And that’s a Hoshidan presentation on the sushi roll paired with a Nhorian presentation on the Caesar—the challenger showing again she isn’t afraid to step outside that Hoshidan comfort zone, and play with different flavors and styles.

We’re watching some brilliant culinary minds at work in the kitchen right now.  But of course we have three other brilliant culinary minds to introduce—our judges!!!

Her cooking has been called ‘so good, its seductive.’ Most of the men who say that are drunk, and so is she! She headlined the Middlefrank Opera Company for 20 years and still looks absolutely ravishing. The one, the only: MANUELA!!!

“I don’t get drunk, darling.” Manuela winked and swirled her Martini. “I get more fun.”

His passion for gourmet decadence is matched only by his passion for—every other vice and indulgence. When he isn’t hosting wine tastings and bathhouse orgies, he communes with The Gods.  Hoshido’s original hippy,  most notorious hedonist and strangest Holy Man:  IZANA!!!                       

“Rumors of my indulgences are greatly exaggerated.” Izana said unconvincingly and with great sacrcasm, as he out-drank Manuela.

He’s an international rapscallion with a refined palate and a taste for the finer things in life. He’s also the culinary ambassador of Valm and knows a thing-or-two about today’s secret ingredient. Hide your daughters and your wives, its: VIRION!!!

“I must confess; the chefs’ offerings may only be the second most exquisite finery I savor tonight.” Virion waxed poetic. “I have not before had the pleasure of being introduced to the lovely Lady Manuela.”

“Careful now.” Manuela shot back, flirtatiously. “This might be more finery then you can handle.”

“Judges,” Byleth asked. “What are your thoughts on the secret ingredient, and on the approaches we’re seeing from our chefs?”

“Well I must confess,” Manueala riffed on Virion, “I’ve never been a huge fan of Valmese food. I’ve had dishes I was told were Valmese classics that tasted like a sack of flour. The challenge for the chefs here today is going to be to elevate what is essentially a very bland, very boring fish.”                                                       
“I would politely suggest for milady’s consideration: the authentic flavors of Valm are so refined that international chefs struggle to recreate them,” Virion mused. “Such inartful production of our fare is less a trouble with the cuisine itself, and more a trouble with the chef that presents it.”

“I once had a dish in Cyrkensia that I could have sworn was fresh lobster. It was Shieldfish cooked in the Valmese style.” Izana agreed with Virion. “The fish itself is bland, but it soaks up whatever flavor you cook it in. So it really all comes down to how you cook it and what you pair it with.”                                                   

“What would be the traditional Valmese preparation of Shieldfish?” Byleth asked of Virion.

“Fried in flour or sauced with orange zest would be the pedestrian preparations,” Virion answered. “A master of the cuisine would perhaps bake it into an Old Valentian Paella with saffron rice, and an accompaniment of smoked meats and spices. Smoked chorizo or braised octopus would be the classic pairing. I don’t think we’ll see any Valmese preparations today, but I do think we’re going to get that essence of Shieldfish playing against spices and smokiness from the Iron Chef’s stew.”                                  

…a flurry of activity going on now back on the floor…we’re beginning to see the chef’s final presentations take shape…

Over on the Iron Chef’s side, is that—YES—that is saffron rice! We may be seeing an ode to Valm in battle shieldfish after all!

Sous-chef Flayn  busy at her station—working with some potato wedges. Sill not sure what dish that’s going into. We’ve really seen her technique improve over these battles here in Kitchen Stadium;  Sous-chef Flayn showing what being tutored by an Iron Chef can do.

Sous-chef Ashe crafting the fish meat into what look like little doughy meatballs and putting them in the fryer. And I know what this is—he’s making dango!!! Super-Spicy Fish Dango still a very popular snack throughout Adrestria.

And the trickiest part of that dish is of course the sauce. Which Iron Chef Dedue is—building from scratch…because of course he is...

Over on the challenger’s side, Chef Mozu has plated her appetizer course. And what is a gorgeous looking plate! This is the kind of artistry in plating technique we usually see from Iron Chef Ignatz. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen colors that vibrant before in a salad before. I’m wondering what exactly chef Mozu did to get that extra pop.

“Homegrown lettuce from Ft. Corrin,”  Mozu revealed the trick. “We’re using ingredients from my garden on the Astral Plane.”    

Well… that’s something…

The challenger has a secret weapon here today: she’s quite literally cooking with magical vegetables. Magic-infused ingredients of course being no stranger here to kitchen stadium. The Iron Chefs frequently use produce from the Archbishop’s greenhouse, and goddess knows he’s been growing those things with more than just pegasus blessings.

Sous-chef Flora putting that appetizer course on ice. That’s going to be served at a pleasantly chilled temperature.

The challenger’s second dish coming together now—the fish stock Chef Mozu was working with at the beginning of the battle has been fortified with tofu, miso powder, and some kind of bean. That’s a very Hoshidan looking soup. Some more of those magic greens going down on top for a garnish—again, what a beautiful looking presentation.

The Iron Chef’s dishes looking much more rustic—but hey—it’s Iron Chef Dedue, so we know the flavors are going to be tremendous.

 Chef Mozu’s  fish now—out of the poaching liquid.  Some pieces going down on top of that Mac n’ Cheese; more being paired with the wagyu beef, and the jumbo lump crab going down on top. Annnnnnnddd—that’s all one dish. Some whimsy from the challenger here today; she’s used the sheildfish to make a a play on Surf n’ Turf and Lobster Mac n’ Cheese.  Very good.

That fillet of fish glazed with peach-sauce coming down on another plate. Chef Mozu plating more of that beautiful garnish. And there’s a pairing of peach sorbet—okay—so this is going to be the challenger’s final course.

Time is running low.  The Iron Chef has all five of his dishes coming together—I’m only seeing four from the challenger.

More ingredients coming out on the Challenger’s side. Some fish being battered and thrown into the fryer. I see Cabbage. Pickles. Some toast being grilled. Could it be--YES!!! The challenger is making a Derdriu-Style Fish Sandwich.

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth asked “What madness has possessed you to serve Fodlan Cuisine against Iron Chef Dedue?”

“This was the first thing we ate in Fodlan after our ship docked. And I said to myself: if fish is on the menu, we’re making this.” Mozu answered. “It’s a good dish. We’re gonna show the Iron Chef we aren’t afraid to play in his wheelhouse.”

A bold move from the challenger—throwing down the gauntlet for the Iron Chef.

Iron Chef Dedue has his fish and vegetable stew plated.  A powerful aroma coming off that plate there—we haven’t even gotten to tasting yet, and we’re already getting bombarded by the Iron Chef’s flavors.

Sous-Chef Flayn—plating her potatos. And the Iron Chef’s fish and curry preparation is going down on top of that.

The Iron Chef’s Enbarr Tart looks finished.

His Saffron Rice going into—some kind of fish and fried rice dish with heavy spices. No idea what that is. Another Duscur preparation by the look of it.

Trouble on the Iron Chef’s side!!! Iron Chef Dedue—not happy with Sous-Chef Ashe’s Dango. He’s throwing out the entire batch and starting over! Will he make it in time?!?!?!?

Chef Mozu garnishing her final dish now. The challenger is DONE. Shot glasses coming out on the challenger’s side and—I believe that’s a bottle of Sake.  

Andddd the challenger and her team having a little bit of a celebration, while Iron Chef Dedue is still in the fryer.

He’s really cutting it close with time here. Fried fishballs—coming out of the fryer. The Iron Chef seems satisfied with this batch.  Skewers going down on a plate. The Iron Chef is adding his sauce. Annddddddd—TIME!!!

What a finish! Iron Chef Dedue’s fifth plate coming together at the last possible second. Probably a bit too close for the Iron Chef’s liking.

Both chefs—bringing their offerings up to judge’s table.

Battle Shieldfish is over. And now: JUDGMENT!!!”
_____

“Chef Mozu.” Byleth inquired. “Please tell us your inspiration for this meal.”

“Well; we wanted to showcase a few different traditional Hoshidan techniques and recipes. But we also wanted to do some other preparations. And my cooking style is all about farm-to-table, so it was very important to me to pair the shieldfish with a homegrown ingredient in each dish.” 

“Very good.” Byleth beckoned to the judges. “Your first course, please.”

“This is our cold appetizer course. It’s a mixed Nhorian and Hoshidan dish. We plated it in the shape of a yin-yang to symbolize the marriage of cultures in the dish; the dark side of the plate is the Nhorian component and the light side is Hoshidan.” Mozu explained the dish. “On the Hoshidan side we did a sushi roll to start the meal off with the raw, natural flavors of the fish. There’s some vegetable tempura in there, for a good crunch and some contrast of texture against the delicacy of the fish. There’s a dash of soy glaze and some homemade wasabi for some salt and heat.  Then over on the Nhorian side, you have a ceaser salad. We made the shieldfish  into a paste with anchovy oil for the dressing.  There’s also sashimi cuts that have been soaked in anchovy oil in the salad itself. And the lettuce is farm-to-table from Ft. Corrin. That’s astral lettuce. There should be an extra layer of flavor there beyond what you would get from a regular garden vegetable.”

“What a wonderful way to start a meal,” Manuela marveled.

“The plate is a work of art, and everything on it is delicious.” Izana didn’t have a bad thing to say about it.

“If I had one criticism, it would be that the shieldfish isn’t overtly present in the salad.” Virion nitpicked. “By hitting it with that anchovy oil to keep the traditional flavor profile of a Caesar—you just get the flavor of the anchovy. The secret ingredient doesn’t come through. But it’s very present on the Hoshidan plate. All-in-all: a successful dish.”

“And a wildly creative use of the secret ingredient, making Caesar dressing.” Izana pointed out.

“The plating and creativity levels here are off-the-chart.” Manuela agreed.

 “Next course please,” Byleth instructed.

“So—our second course is one of Ryoma’s favorites. This is a Hoshidan Fish and Bean Soup. The farm-to-table-element element here is the astral beans. The vegetables on top are just a garnish; but you can mix them in with the soup, and that should add a nice earthy element against the saltiness of the fish stock and the starchiness of the beans.”

“Well chef; the star of the show here is definitely those magic beans.” Manuela critiqued. “The fish is a bit more muted here then it was in the last course.”

“I disagree.” Izana played the contrarian. “I think everything is perfectly balanced. The fish is there and I’m not wishing for anymore of it; I think if there was, I think it would come off as a bit too heavy-handed.” 

“I agree that the fish definitely takes a back seat to the beans here.” Virion added. “But the fish is present; I’m getting the texture of the meat and the flavor of the stock. And again—high marks for plating.”

“Your third course,” Byleth again instructed. 

“This is our Derdriu fish sandwich,” Mozu was proud of this one.  “And I’m so happy that the Archbishop gave us fish today as a secret ingredient so that I could make this. The farm-to-table element is in the slaw. We used Ft. Corrin garden-grown astral cabbage. This is the dish I’ve been wanting to cook since I got here.”

“How many times have you had Derdriu style fish before?” Izana asked.

“Just once.” Mozu answered. “Fresh-off-the-boat.”

“Ever cooked it before?” Izana asked further.

“Nope.” Mozu told the judges. “First time.”

“It tastes—exactly like I’m eating street food at a Derdriu fish market. And I mean that in the best possible way.” Manuela approved.

“To be able to taste this dish just once. And then replicate the authentic techniques and flavors this deftly. Truly an astounding culinary feat.” Virion was impressed.

“I think this is probably the most pedestrian plate of food we’ve seen from you so far,” Izana critiqued. “And your lack of familiarity with the dish is evident in the more restrained plating. I agree it tastes like street food. I don’t necessarily agree that in Kitchen stadium that’s a good thing.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from, you.”  Manuela guffawed.

“ How so?” Izana asked.

“Is the high-and-noble archduke suggesting that he’s too sophisticated to enjoy street food? I’ll have you know that the other day I saw him eating a taco bowl out of a dancer’s…”

 “Next course. Please.” Byleth interrupted.

“Right. This is our man course.” Mozu presented the star of the show.  “If you soak shieldfish in salted butter and add a mild sweetener, you can actually get it to take on a similar taste and texture to lobster. So what we did here is we made a play on a classic Surf n’ Turf with lobster mac n’ cheese.  And we used a few different Ft. Corrin farm-to-table ingredients here. The cheddar in the mac n’ cheese was made from fort-farmed dairy. The beef in the surf n’ turf is from fort-raised cattle. And those cattle were fed on fort-grown grain. So you should really be able to taste the astral blessing in every component there.”

“Simply decadent.”  This was Izana’s favorite dish so far.

“I was afraid this was going to be heavy and clunky. But that astral blessing really cuts through everything and makes it all so incredibly light. Mmmmmmm.”  Manuela sloppily shoveled food into her mouth.

“Excellent technique on the fish. I think this dish really showcases the versatility of the ingredient.” Virion gave it high praises.  “The dish is a bit heavy and I do wish there was some kind of lighter element on the plate to help balance that. But the astral blessing is cutting through some of that richness.”

“Your final course,” Byleth instructed once more.

“We wanted to end on a sweet note. So for our last preparation of the fish, we steamed it and did a sweet peach glaze to get some fruity flavor in there.  Then for desert, there’s a peach sorbet on the side. The farm-to-table element here is the peaches. They were fresh picked from Ft. Corrin’s orchards.”

“We eat a lot of peach sorbet at Gareg Mach,” Manuela told the challenger. “And I have to tell you—I wish they all tasted like this.”

“The dish itself is good and the plating is beautiful, but I almost feel like this is cheating.” Izana critiqued. “You basically have two dishes—the steamed fish and the sorbet—and one of them doesn’t have the secret ingredient in it at all.”

“I disagree,” Virion defended the dish. “I think the peach flavor in both components brings everything together and makes this is a cohesive dish.”

“Its not a cohesive dish just because there’s peaches in both flavor profiles.” Izana objected. “It’s a steamed fish course and a dessert.”

“I agree with Virion. The peaches tie everything together.” Manuela opined.

“I think you’re both on drugs.” Izana opined right back.

“Rich. Again. Coming from you.” Manuela sniped.

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth ended the judge’s playful banter and bowed to the challenger. “Thank you for a wonderful meal.”
________

“Iron Chef Dedue,” Byleth bowed to the reigning champ. “Always an honor watching you work. Were you pleased today with the secret ingredient?”

 “Shieldfish is not an ingredient that I usually work with, but I welcome the challenge.” Dedue answered, tersely. “I believe you will find these dishes satisfying.”   

“Your first course, please.” Byleth beckoned.

“Our appetizer course is Fish Dango. This is a popular Adrestrian street food.” Dedue described the dish.  “The sauce is traditionally very spicy, such that it drowns out any other flavor. I wanted to incorporate more flavors into the dish than what you might find in an ordinary preparation. So we used a milder heat and added some floral elements. Please enjoy.”

“…Oh wow…” Manuela’s face lit up.

“It’s a revelation!” Izana couldn’t stop eating.

“This is outrageously good.” Virion for once was at a loss for more flowery words.

“Everyday in the Opera Company, I would go outside for lunch.” Manuela recalled. “And there would be lines of snooty asshole nobles trying to seduce me. And they would buy me fish dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.”

“The summer I lived in Enbarr, everyday I would loiter outside the Opera House and try to seduce the songstresses,” Virion recalled.  “And I would bring them dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.”

“The summer I lived in Enbarr, everyday I would loiter outside the Opera House and try to seduce the Songstresses and the snooty asshole nobles trying to seduce them.” Izana recalled. “And I would bring them dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.” It was unanimous.    

“The plating’s a bit sloppy, chef.” Manuela had to call him out on the visual appearance of the dish.

“Pfttttttt.” Izana guffawed.  

“Rich coming from me, is that it?” Manuela took the jab in good humor.

“Well at least you’re self-aware.” Izana got the joke in anyway, and they all had a good chuckle.

“Your next course, please” Byleth instructed.

“For our second course we have prepared Fish Calulu; this is a duscur fish and vegetable stew. The simmering cook should make the fish nice and tender. The fish has also been smoked. In the stewing process that smoky flavor difuses through the whole dish; so you should be getting some of that smoky flavor in the vegetables as well.”

“Dedue.” Manuela took a big spoonful. “If people knew this is what the food of Duscur tasted like—there wouldn’t be a single man in Fodlan with a bad thing to say about Duscur.”

“You are kind to say so.” Dedue thanked her.

“I wanted to eat this the moment I smelled it. This is my favorite dish so far, chef.”   Virion loved it. “In Valm, being able to pair the mildness of the fish with elements of heat and smokiness and get a robust, well-balanced flavor profile out of it is the hallmark of a master technician. This one’s hitting all notes for me. And that aroma is so strong—it draws you in before you even get the bite of food. Well done.”

“The fish is a bit oily.” Izana nitpicked. “I’m not in love with the presentation on this one either—it looks a bit gloppy.”

“How do you think a vegetable supposed to look?” Virion challenged.

“All I’m saying is that we saw some really gorgeous plates from the challenger. And this isn’t the prettiest dish in the world to look it. Its Kitchen Stadium—he could have sexed it up a bit.” Izana stood by his critique.

“Fair enough.” Virion agreed.

“Your next course, please” Byleth instructed again.

“The inspiration for this course is a Duscur dish called Ceebu Jen,”  Dedue presented his rice dish. “It is a preparation of herb-crusted fish, habanero fried rice, and vegetable medley—cooked in a single pot, sauced with fermented bean paste and peanut oil. There are many variations. Most use grouper or snapper as the fish element. Because today’s secret ingredient is Valmese, I modified the spice profile of the dish to incorporate saffron.  The combination of saffron rice and shieldfish is classic in high-end Valmese cooking;  you should be able to taste that pairing in this dish.”

“This dish has so many layers of flavor,” Virion took several bites and got a different hit of it each time. “I’m getting that pairing of saffron and shieldfish from the fish and rice. Then I’m getting the heat from the peppers. Then I’m getting that deep umami taste from the tamarind.”

“There’s so much going on here, and everything is so well-balanced.” Izana agreed. “When you’re cooking with this many big flavors, the danger is always that one ends up completely overpowering the entire dish. The magic on this plate is that everything comes together harmoniously, and none of these flavors are fighting each other.”

“How did you get that red-brown color on the rice?” Manuela asked.

The coloration of the rice comes from the tamarind and the chili peppers.  Dedue answered.

“Its striking.” Manuela gave him high marks for presentation.

“Your next course.” Byleth instructed.   

“This is Mtuzi wa Samaki—the last of our Duscur inspired courses,” Dedue presented his fourth dish. “The fish is finally sliced and flavored with coconut curry. I’ve served it over a bed of potatoes. The fish and coconut curry can be eaten separately, or consumed as a sauce.”

“The contrast here between the curry and the coconut milk is so interesting,” Manuela opined. “The curry flavor heats you up, and then the coconut flavor cools you back down.”

“That is the purpose of the combination,” Dedue affirmed.

“It’s another homerun on flavor,” Izana had nothing critical to say on that front. “Presentation-wise; it’s chopped fish and sauce on top of sliced potatoes. You could have done more.”

“The potatoes feel a bit uninspired to me,” chef Virion critiqued. “All the flavor of the dish is in that fish and curry. Those potatoes could be replaced with any starch, and I wouldn’t miss them.”

“Your final course,” Byleth instructed one last time.

“For our dessert course, I prepared an Enbarr tart,” Dedue presented his final plate. “Enbarr tarts are usually served sweet-and-savory, with a savory fish filling in the center and a berry glaze on top. Because the shieldfish is such a mild fish, we were able to lean more into the sweet side of the flavor profile and tone down the savory elements to prepare this as a dessert course.”

“Well first of all, kudos for actually making a real dessert.” Izana began with a compliment. “Conceptually—I don’t  know how I feel about an Enbarr tart as a dessert preparation. I think there’s a good reason you usually see this dish presented as sweet-and-savory. Without the savory elements being prominently displayed, the flavors are a bit one-note and the sweetness becomes excessive.”

“It’s a delicious dessert tart I have no problem with the flavors of the dish or the sweetness level,” Virion disagreed.  

“It’s a fine dessert, but it’s too sweet to be an Enbarr tart.” Izana countered. “If he’s calling it an Enbarr Tart; I have to judge it as an Enbarr tart.”
 
“For me there’s a more fundamental problem; I can barely taste the secret ingredient, “ Virion opined. “I know its in here. But its not strongly utilized in this dish.”

“Do you really want your dessert to taste like fish, gentlemen?” Manuela disagreed with both of them.

“There’s no rule that says your final course has to be dessert,” Virion pushed  back. “But when I get a dish in Kitchen Stadium, I expect to be able to taste the secret ingredient.”    

“Hmphhhh,” Manuela gave it another taste, and surmised her thoughts. “A delicious dessert. The fish is detectable—if not prevalent. Not as successful as your savory courses, but any time a chef turns a fish into a dessert that’s high marks for originality in my book.”

“Iron Chef Dedue; thank you for an excellent meal,” Byleth bowed.

THE VERDICT—when Iron Chef: Fodlan returns!!!!!!!

(duhh-duhh duhhh duh-duh duh-duh-duh duh duh)
_______

“Today, two champions met in Kitchen Stadium. Chef Mozu. Iron Chef Dedue,” Byleth addressed the Challenger and The Iron Chef. “Our judges have spoken. And the Winner is…”

…
…
…
…

…
….

*cue smoke machine + celebratory music* 

“IT’S A TIE!!!” (Iron Chef Dedue and Chef Mozu hugged it out + took a celbebrtory shot of Sake together)
______

Well there you have it; Battle Shieldfish in the history books.

Iron Chef Dedue received a near-perfect score in flavor. But the challenger wasn’t too far behind, and received superior marks in plating and a slight edge in originality to close the gap.

Chef Mozu—now one of the elite few who can say she’s stood up to Iron Chef Dedue’s culinary onslaught. I’m sure she’ll be back at some point for a tie-breaker.

I’ll leave you with this closing thought: they say an army marches not on its feet, but on its stomach. If that’s the truth of it; small wonder Blue Lion House murdered Edelgard’s face.

See you next time, hungry travelers, On IRON CHEF: FODLAN!!!

***
(Author's Notes Below)

-Its exactly what I said it was going to be; Fire Emblem turned into an episode of Iron Chef

-The narrative style here is not written for grammatical accuracy; but in an attempt to parody the verbiage and cadence Alton Brown

-This was a weird topic, but we made it work 

 

Edited April 21, 2020 by Shoblongoo

[TheSilentChloey]

@Shoblongoo Interesting...I think I went with the more plot based story than yours is (which isn't a bad thing).

[Shoblongoo]

Y’all being awful quiet this round. Any more entries coming?

[Anacybele]

I'm working on mine. I hope to finish it today.

[Benice]

38 minutes ago, Shoblongoo said:

Y’all being awful quiet this round. Any more entries coming?

Online classes are mean. ]8(

Probably won't finish. I'll try.

[Ottservia]

7 hours ago, Shoblongoo said:

Y’all being awful quiet this round. Any more entries coming?

I have been very busy with some irl stuff plus P5R has just completely taken over my life

[SoulWeaver]

On 4/20/2020 at 11:27 PM, Shoblongoo said:

Title:  Iron Chef: Fodlan

Fandom:  Fire Emblem Crossover

Word Count:  5,435
 

  Reveal hidden contents

A delectable American tradition stolen from Japan has taken root in Fodlan. Garreg Mach has been graced with its very own Kitchen Stadium, where our benevolent Archbishop gathers the best of the best from around the world to compete in CULINARY COMBAT!!!!

Today’s challenger hails from the land of Hoshido, where she cooks for the royal family and international dignitaries as personal chef to Samurai King Ryoma. Her farm-to-table approach to fresh, simple ingredients and crisp flavors have earned her accolades in kitchens across the realm.

The Archbishop is honored to welcome: CHEF MOZU!!!  

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth bowed. “You cook for the Samurai King. Will the Iron Chefs today feel the wrath of your kitchen bushido, or will you fold, like ORAGAMI!?!?!?”  

“We’re here to win today, Archbishop.” Chef Mozu bowed back.

“EXCELLENT!!!” Byleth observed the time-honored Kitchen Stadium tradition of shouting with overacted theatrics. “And now, Fodlan, your very own Iron Chefs.”

He’s a man of few words, but his food does the talking.  Renowned for his exotic spices, complex technique, and bold flavors. He’s big and packs a punch and so do his plates. Fodlan’s foremost expert on Duscur Cuisine. IRON CHEF: DEDUE!!!

He started as a painter, and brings his finely-honed aesthetic and play on textures, shapes, and colors to Kitchen Stadium. The plate is his canvas. His dishes; works of art that are almost too beautiful to be eaten. IRON CHEF: IGNATZ!!!

He’s an underworld kingpin with avant-garde flair and a refined palate, who went from running a criminal empire to a culinary one. His inventive dishes and new age reimagining of classic recipes are redefining cotemporary Fodlan cuisine. IRON CHEF: YURI!!

“And now the time has come for our challenger to choose which Iron Chef will be CALLED TO BATTLE!!!” Byleth announced.

“I came to battle the best.” Mozu chose. “I choose: Iron Chef Dedue.”

“A brave choice.” Byleth approved. “But there is one more ingredient to today’s battle. The theme on which today’s chefs will offer their SUCCULENT VARIATIONS!!!! Today’s secret ingredient is…”

*cue fog machine and overly dramatic music*

“SHIELDFISH!!!

__________

Battle Shieldfish is on in Kitchen Stadium.

Shieldfish of course being indigenous to the Valm region. It has a thick scaly shell that the ancient Valentians actually use to remove, forge, and use as shields. The skin is not edible. There’s a lot of thick, tough pieces that need to be removed before the chefs can really start working with the meat.

Over on the challenger’s side—sous-chef Kaze wasting no time breaking down the fish. Let’s see that again in slow motion. Amazing knife work from sous-chef Kaze. The sous-chef is harvesting a premium cut from the belly meat and slicing it down into what looks like sashimi sized cuts. That’s likely going into some kind of sushi preparation.

Chef Mozu—dicing peaches and frying them with a mixture of vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and brandy . Not sure what that’s going to be yet. Possibly some kind of dessert course.

Also on Chef Mozu’s station—fish heads going into a pot with fresh aromatics. That’s some kind of stock coming together. It looks like the challenger is going to be making a soup.

Over on Iron Chef Dedue’s side—not sure if sous-chef Flayn is taking that fish apart or making love to it. Either way, great technique.

A cut of that fish sous-chef Flayn has been working with—going into a smoker now. Not something we usually see in Fodlan cuisine, but a technique we’ve often seen from the Iron Chef in his Duscur preparations. Wonder what that’s going to be.

Sous-chef Ashe—whisking a combination of Noa Fruit and Chickpeas into a batter. It looks like he’s making the battering element for an Enbarr Fish Tart.  I don’t see any herring on his station; the classic Enbarr tart of course being traditionally made with herring. Interesting.

Iron Chef Dedue—working with a combination of ingredients I’ve, frankly, never seen before.  Red Bell Pepper, Onion, Tomato, Garlic, Lemon Juice, Curry Powder, Coconut Milk, Canola Oil, Cilantro...”

“This is a Duscur summer preparation for firm white fish.”  Dedue explained. “It is called Mtuzi wa Samaki.”  

“Is that traditionally served with Shieldfish, Chef?”  Byleth asked.

“Traditionally we use halibut. Shieldfish is not native to the region or used in any of its cuisines.” Dedue explained. “Shieldfish is bland, and has a very mild flavor. In Valmese cooking it is often left this way. Sometimes floured and fried, or sauced with orange zest. This is—uninteresting. Our inspiration today will be to take techniques used to prepare the fish of Fodlan and Duscur, and use them to enhance the flavor of the fish.”

Well, there you have it. The Iron Chefs plan is to recreate the flavorful fish dishes of Duscur and Fodlan, subbing in the Archbishop’s Secret Ingredient for the local fish.  

Iron Chef Dedue seasoning now with a veritable arsenal of exotic herbs and spices, andddd the only thing I recognize is salt and pepper. One of these days I swear; I’m going to learn what  goes into those Duscur spice rubs.

And I’m seeing another pan coming out now on the Iron Chef’s station.  More Garlic. More Onions. More Tomatoes. Green Chili Peppers, Okra, Kale, Lemon Juice, Palm Oil, Bay Leaves, and Arrowroot Starch. I’m not going to even try and guess what that’s going to be.

“Calulu.”  Dedue described the dish. “A Duscur preparation for stewed fish and vegetable. This will be our soup course.”

…okay…so Iron Chef Dedue is building a vegetable broth for a stew. Those chili peppers are going to give it some heat. And that fish sous-chef Flayn had in the smoker—coming out now and going down in the iron chef’s broth.  The smokiness from that fish is gonna play off the heat from those peppers. Wow; that dish is gonna have a ton of flavor.  

Back on the challenger’s side—Chef Mozu’s peach mixture is off the stove and in the hands of sous-chef Flora, going into a blender. Andddd that’s going to be a sauce. Steamed Fish in Peach Sauce of course being a very traditional Hoshidan preparation.

Also on the challenger’s side—Chef Mozu has a fillet-of-fish buttered up and going into a poaching liquid. Very interesting—that’s a Nhorian preparation. It looks like we are going to be seeing more than just a traditional Hoshidan menu from the challenger.                                                         

More proteins coming out on the challenger’s side—I see sous-chef Kaze breaking down a beautiful cut of Wagyu Beef. That’s of course Hoshido’s most luxurious meat. Some jumbo lump crab joining the party And over on Sous-Chef Flora’s station, is that—YES—that’s cheddar! Sous-Chef Flora is making Mac n’ Cheese!!!  

Risky move here from the challenger—these richer ingredients could overwhelm the flavor of the Shieldfish.

Those sashimi cuts sous-chef Kaze was working on at the beginning of the battle are going into two different preparations now. A sushi dish—being prepared by Chef Mozu.  Some cuts also being dressed with anchovy oil. And those are going down in what I’m going to call a play on Caesar Salad. Two raw dishes from the challenger—I don’t know how our judges are going to feel about that.

“That’s one dish.” Chef Mozu calls out.

ONE dish!?  Goodness—Chef Mozu certainly has her work cut out for her. Well I’m guessing that sushi and salad is going to be her first course.  And that’s a Hoshidan presentation on the sushi roll paired with a Nhorian presentation on the Caesar—the challenger showing again she isn’t afraid to step outside that Hoshidan comfort zone, and play with different flavors and styles.

We’re watching some brilliant culinary minds at work in the kitchen right now.  But of course we have three other brilliant culinary minds to introduce—our judges!!!

Her cooking has been called ‘so good, its seductive.’ Most of the men who say that are drunk, and so is she! She headlined the Middlefrank Opera Company for 20 years and still looks absolutely ravishing. The one, the only: MANUELA!!!

“I don’t get drunk, darling.” Manuela winked and swirled her Martini. “I get more fun.”

His passion for gourmet decadence is matched only by his passion for—every other vice and indulgence. When he isn’t hosting wine tastings and bathhouse orgies, he communes with The Gods.  Hoshido’s original hippy,  most notorious hedonist and strangest Holy Man:  IZANA!!!                       

“Rumors of my indulgences are greatly exaggerated.” Izana said unconvincingly and with great sacrcasm, as he out-drank Manuela.

He’s an international rapscallion with a refined palate and a taste for the finer things in life. He’s also the culinary ambassador of Valm and knows a thing-or-two about today’s secret ingredient. Hide your daughters and your wives, its: VIRION!!!

“I must confess; the chefs’ offerings may only be the second most exquisite finery I savor tonight.” Virion waxed poetic. “I have not before had the pleasure of being introduced to the lovely Lady Manuela.”

“Careful now.” Manuela shot back, flirtatiously. “This might be more finery then you can handle.”

“Judges,” Byleth asked. “What are your thoughts on the secret ingredient, and on the approaches we’re seeing from our chefs?”

“Well I must confess,” Manueala riffed on Virion, “I’ve never been a huge fan of Valmese food. I’ve had dishes I was told were Valmese classics that tasted like a sack of flour. The challenge for the chefs here today is going to be to elevate what is essentially a very bland, very boring fish.”                                                       
“I would politely suggest for milady’s consideration: the authentic flavors of Valm are so refined that international chefs struggle to recreate them,” Virion mused. “Such inartful production of our fare is less a trouble with the cuisine itself, and more a trouble with the chef that presents it.”

“I once had a dish in Cyrkensia that I could have sworn was fresh lobster. It was Shieldfish cooked in the Valmese style.” Izana agreed with Virion. “The fish itself is bland, but it soaks up whatever flavor you cook it in. So it really all comes down to how you cook it and what you pair it with.”                                                   

“What would be the traditional Valmese preparation of Shieldfish?” Byleth asked of Virion.

“Fried in flour or sauced with orange zest would be the pedestrian preparations,” Virion answered. “A master of the cuisine would perhaps bake it into an Old Valentian Paella with saffron rice, and an accompaniment of smoked meats and spices. Smoked chorizo or braised octopus would be the classic pairing. I don’t think we’ll see any Valmese preparations today, but I do think we’re going to get that essence of Shieldfish playing against spices and smokiness from the Iron Chef’s stew.”                                  

…a flurry of activity going on now back on the floor…we’re beginning to see the chef’s final presentations take shape…

Over on the Iron Chef’s side, is that—YES—that is saffron rice! We may be seeing an ode to Valm in battle shieldfish after all!

Sous-chef Flayn  busy at her station—working with some potato wedges. Sill not sure what dish that’s going into. We’ve really seen her technique improve over these battles here in Kitchen Stadium;  Sous-chef Flayn showing what being tutored by an Iron Chef can do.

Sous-chef Ashe crafting the fish meat into what look like little doughy meatballs and putting them in the fryer. And I know what this is—he’s making dango!!! Super-Spicy Fish Dango still a very popular snack throughout Adrestria.

And the trickiest part of that dish is of course the sauce. Which Iron Chef Dedue is—building from scratch…because of course he is...

Over on the challenger’s side, Chef Mozu has plated her appetizer course. And what is a gorgeous looking plate! This is the kind of artistry in plating technique we usually see from Iron Chef Ignatz. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen colors that vibrant before in a salad before. I’m wondering what exactly chef Mozu did to get that extra pop.

“Homegrown lettuce from Ft. Corrin,”  Mozu revealed the trick. “We’re using ingredients from my garden on the Astral Plane.”    

Well… that’s something…

The challenger has a secret weapon here today: she’s quite literally cooking with magical vegetables. Magic-infused ingredients of course being no stranger here to kitchen stadium. The Iron Chefs frequently use produce from the Archbishop’s greenhouse, and goddess knows he’s been growing those things with more than just pegasus blessings.

Sous-chef Flora putting that appetizer course on ice. That’s going to be served at a pleasantly chilled temperature.

The challenger’s second dish coming together now—the fish stock Chef Mozu was working with at the beginning of the battle has been fortified with tofu, miso powder, and some kind of bean. That’s a very Hoshidan looking soup. Some more of those magic greens going down on top for a garnish—again, what a beautiful looking presentation.

The Iron Chef’s dishes looking much more rustic—but hey—it’s Iron Chef Dedue, so we know the flavors are going to be tremendous.

 Chef Mozu’s  fish now—out of the poaching liquid.  Some pieces going down on top of that Mac n’ Cheese; more being paired with the wagyu beef, and the jumbo lump crab going down on top. Annnnnnnddd—that’s all one dish. Some whimsy from the challenger here today; she’s used the sheildfish to make a a play on Surf n’ Turf and Lobster Mac n’ Cheese.  Very good.

That fillet of fish glazed with peach-sauce coming down on another plate. Chef Mozu plating more of that beautiful garnish. And there’s a pairing of peach sorbet—okay—so this is going to be the challenger’s final course.

Time is running low.  The Iron Chef has all five of his dishes coming together—I’m only seeing four from the challenger.

More ingredients coming out on the Challenger’s side. Some fish being battered and thrown into the fryer. I see Cabbage. Pickles. Some toast being grilled. Could it be--YES!!! The challenger is making a Derdriu-Style Fish Sandwich.

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth asked “What madness has possessed you to serve Fodlan Cuisine against Iron Chef Dedue?”

“This was the first thing we ate in Fodlan after our ship docked. And I said to myself: if fish is on the menu, we’re making this.” Mozu answered. “It’s a good dish. We’re gonna show the Iron Chef we aren’t afraid to play in his wheelhouse.”

A bold move from the challenger—throwing down the gauntlet for the Iron Chef.

Iron Chef Dedue has his fish and vegetable stew plated.  A powerful aroma coming off that plate there—we haven’t even gotten to tasting yet, and we’re already getting bombarded by the Iron Chef’s flavors.

Sous-Chef Flayn—plating her potatos. And the Iron Chef’s fish and curry preparation is going down on top of that.

The Iron Chef’s Enbarr Tart looks finished.

His Saffron Rice going into—some kind of fish and fried rice dish with heavy spices. No idea what that is. Another Duscur preparation by the look of it.

Trouble on the Iron Chef’s side!!! Iron Chef Dedue—not happy with Sous-Chef Ashe’s Dango. He’s throwing out the entire batch and starting over! Will he make it in time?!?!?!?

Chef Mozu garnishing her final dish now. The challenger is DONE. Shot glasses coming out on the challenger’s side and—I believe that’s a bottle of Sake.  

Andddd the challenger and her team having a little bit of a celebration, while Iron Chef Dedue is still in the fryer.

He’s really cutting it close with time here. Fried fishballs—coming out of the fryer. The Iron Chef seems satisfied with this batch.  Skewers going down on a plate. The Iron Chef is adding his sauce. Annddddddd—TIME!!!

What a finish! Iron Chef Dedue’s fifth plate coming together at the last possible second. Probably a bit too close for the Iron Chef’s liking.

Both chefs—bringing their offerings up to judge’s table.

Battle Shieldfish is over. And now: JUDGMENT!!!”
_____

“Chef Mozu.” Byleth inquired. “Please tell us your inspiration for this meal.”

“Well; we wanted to showcase a few different traditional Hoshidan techniques and recipes. But we also wanted to do some other preparations. And my cooking style is all about farm-to-table, so it was very important to me to pair the shieldfish with a homegrown ingredient in each dish.” 

“Very good.” Byleth beckoned to the judges. “Your first course, please.”

“This is our cold appetizer course. It’s a mixed Nhorian and Hoshidan dish. We plated it in the shape of a yin-yang to symbolize the marriage of cultures in the dish; the dark side of the plate is the Nhorian component and the light side is Hoshidan.” Mozu explained the dish. “On the Hoshidan side we did a sushi roll to start the meal off with the raw, natural flavors of the fish. There’s some vegetable tempura in there, for a good crunch and some contrast of texture against the delicacy of the fish. There’s a dash of soy glaze and some homemade wasabi for some salt and heat.  Then over on the Nhorian side, you have a ceaser salad. We made the shieldfish  into a paste with anchovy oil for the dressing.  There’s also sashimi cuts that have been soaked in anchovy oil in the salad itself. And the lettuce is farm-to-table from Ft. Corrin. That’s astral lettuce. There should be an extra layer of flavor there beyond what you would get from a regular garden vegetable.”

“What a wonderful way to start a meal,” Manuela marveled.

“The plate is a work of art, and everything on it is delicious.” Izana didn’t have a bad thing to say about it.

“If I had one criticism, it would be that the shieldfish isn’t overtly present in the salad.” Virion nitpicked. “By hitting it with that anchovy oil to keep the traditional flavor profile of a Caesar—you just get the flavor of the anchovy. The secret ingredient doesn’t come through. But it’s very present on the Hoshidan plate. All-in-all: a successful dish.”

“And a wildly creative use of the secret ingredient, making Caesar dressing.” Izana pointed out.

“The plating and creativity levels here are off-the-chart.” Manuela agreed.

 “Next course please,” Byleth instructed.

“So—our second course is one of Ryoma’s favorites. This is a Hoshidan Fish and Bean Soup. The farm-to-table-element element here is the astral beans. The vegetables on top are just a garnish; but you can mix them in with the soup, and that should add a nice earthy element against the saltiness of the fish stock and the starchiness of the beans.”

“Well chef; the star of the show here is definitely those magic beans.” Manuela critiqued. “The fish is a bit more muted here then it was in the last course.”

“I disagree.” Izana played the contrarian. “I think everything is perfectly balanced. The fish is there and I’m not wishing for anymore of it; I think if there was, I think it would come off as a bit too heavy-handed.” 

“I agree that the fish definitely takes a back seat to the beans here.” Virion added. “But the fish is present; I’m getting the texture of the meat and the flavor of the stock. And again—high marks for plating.”

“Your third course,” Byleth again instructed. 

“This is our Derdriu fish sandwich,” Mozu was proud of this one.  “And I’m so happy that the Archbishop gave us fish today as a secret ingredient so that I could make this. The farm-to-table element is in the slaw. We used Ft. Corrin garden-grown astral cabbage. This is the dish I’ve been wanting to cook since I got here.”

“How many times have you had Derdriu style fish before?” Izana asked.

“Just once.” Mozu answered. “Fresh-off-the-boat.”

“Ever cooked it before?” Izana asked further.

“Nope.” Mozu told the judges. “First time.”

“It tastes—exactly like I’m eating street food at a Derdriu fish market. And I mean that in the best possible way.” Manuela approved.

“To be able to taste this dish just once. And then replicate the authentic techniques and flavors this deftly. Truly an astounding culinary feat.” Virion was impressed.

“I think this is probably the most pedestrian plate of food we’ve seen from you so far,” Izana critiqued. “And your lack of familiarity with the dish is evident in the more restrained plating. I agree it tastes like street food. I don’t necessarily agree that in Kitchen stadium that’s a good thing.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from, you.”  Manuela guffawed.

“ How so?” Izana asked.

“Is the high-and-noble archduke suggesting that he’s too sophisticated to enjoy street food? I’ll have you know that the other day I saw him eating a taco bowl out of a dancer’s…”

 “Next course. Please.” Byleth interrupted.

“Right. This is our man course.” Mozu presented the star of the show.  “If you soak shieldfish in salted butter and add a mild sweetener, you can actually get it to take on a similar taste and texture to lobster. So what we did here is we made a play on a classic Surf n’ Turf with lobster mac n’ cheese.  And we used a few different Ft. Corrin farm-to-table ingredients here. The cheddar in the mac n’ cheese was made from fort-farmed dairy. The beef in the surf n’ turf is from fort-raised cattle. And those cattle were fed on fort-grown grain. So you should really be able to taste the astral blessing in every component there.”

“Simply decadent.”  This was Izana’s favorite dish so far.

“I was afraid this was going to be heavy and clunky. But that astral blessing really cuts through everything and makes it all so incredibly light. Mmmmmmm.”  Manuela sloppily shoveled food into her mouth.

“Excellent technique on the fish. I think this dish really showcases the versatility of the ingredient.” Virion gave it high praises.  “The dish is a bit heavy and I do wish there was some kind of lighter element on the plate to help balance that. But the astral blessing is cutting through some of that richness.”

“Your final course,” Byleth instructed once more.

“We wanted to end on a sweet note. So for our last preparation of the fish, we steamed it and did a sweet peach glaze to get some fruity flavor in there.  Then for desert, there’s a peach sorbet on the side. The farm-to-table element here is the peaches. They were fresh picked from Ft. Corrin’s orchards.”

“We eat a lot of peach sorbet at Gareg Mach,” Manuela told the challenger. “And I have to tell you—I wish they all tasted like this.”

“The dish itself is good and the plating is beautiful, but I almost feel like this is cheating.” Izana critiqued. “You basically have two dishes—the steamed fish and the sorbet—and one of them doesn’t have the secret ingredient in it at all.”

“I disagree,” Virion defended the dish. “I think the peach flavor in both components brings everything together and makes this is a cohesive dish.”

“Its not a cohesive dish just because there’s peaches in both flavor profiles.” Izana objected. “It’s a steamed fish course and a dessert.”

“I agree with Virion. The peaches tie everything together.” Manuela opined.

“I think you’re both on drugs.” Izana opined right back.

“Rich. Again. Coming from you.” Manuela sniped.

“Chef Mozu,” Byleth ended the judge’s playful banter and bowed to the challenger. “Thank you for a wonderful meal.”
________

“Iron Chef Dedue,” Byleth bowed to the reigning champ. “Always an honor watching you work. Were you pleased today with the secret ingredient?”

 “Shieldfish is not an ingredient that I usually work with, but I welcome the challenge.” Dedue answered, tersely. “I believe you will find these dishes satisfying.”   

“Your first course, please.” Byleth beckoned.

“Our appetizer course is Fish Dango. This is a popular Adrestrian street food.” Dedue described the dish.  “The sauce is traditionally very spicy, such that it drowns out any other flavor. I wanted to incorporate more flavors into the dish than what you might find in an ordinary preparation. So we used a milder heat and added some floral elements. Please enjoy.”

“…Oh wow…” Manuela’s face lit up.

“It’s a revelation!” Izana couldn’t stop eating.

“This is outrageously good.” Virion for once was at a loss for more flowery words.

“Everyday in the Opera Company, I would go outside for lunch.” Manuela recalled. “And there would be lines of snooty asshole nobles trying to seduce me. And they would buy me fish dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.”

“The summer I lived in Enbarr, everyday I would loiter outside the Opera House and try to seduce the songstresses,” Virion recalled.  “And I would bring them dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.”

“The summer I lived in Enbarr, everyday I would loiter outside the Opera House and try to seduce the Songstresses and the snooty asshole nobles trying to seduce them.” Izana recalled. “And I would bring them dango. This is the best dango I’ve ever tasted.” It was unanimous.    

“The plating’s a bit sloppy, chef.” Manuela had to call him out on the visual appearance of the dish.

“Pfttttttt.” Izana guffawed.  

“Rich coming from me, is that it?” Manuela took the jab in good humor.

“Well at least you’re self-aware.” Izana got the joke in anyway, and they all had a good chuckle.

“Your next course, please” Byleth instructed.

“For our second course we have prepared Fish Calulu; this is a duscur fish and vegetable stew. The simmering cook should make the fish nice and tender. The fish has also been smoked. In the stewing process that smoky flavor difuses through the whole dish; so you should be getting some of that smoky flavor in the vegetables as well.”

“Dedue.” Manuela took a big spoonful. “If people knew this is what the food of Duscur tasted like—there wouldn’t be a single man in Fodlan with a bad thing to say about Duscur.”

“You are kind to say so.” Dedue thanked her.

“I wanted to eat this the moment I smelled it. This is my favorite dish so far, chef.”   Virion loved it. “In Valm, being able to pair the mildness of the fish with elements of heat and smokiness and get a robust, well-balanced flavor profile out of it is the hallmark of a master technician. This one’s hitting all notes for me. And that aroma is so strong—it draws you in before you even get the bite of food. Well done.”

“The fish is a bit oily.” Izana nitpicked. “I’m not in love with the presentation on this one either—it looks a bit gloppy.”

“How do you think a vegetable supposed to look?” Virion challenged.

“All I’m saying is that we saw some really gorgeous plates from the challenger. And this isn’t the prettiest dish in the world to look it. Its Kitchen Stadium—he could have sexed it up a bit.” Izana stood by his critique.

“Fair enough.” Virion agreed.

“Your next course, please” Byleth instructed again.

“The inspiration for this course is a Duscur dish called Ceebu Jen,”  Dedue presented his rice dish. “It is a preparation of herb-crusted fish, habanero fried rice, and vegetable medley—cooked in a single pot, sauced with fermented bean paste and peanut oil. There are many variations. Most use grouper or snapper as the fish element. Because today’s secret ingredient is Valmese, I modified the spice profile of the dish to incorporate saffron.  The combination of saffron rice and shieldfish is classic in high-end Valmese cooking;  you should be able to taste that pairing in this dish.”

“This dish has so many layers of flavor,” Virion took several bites and got a different hit of it each time. “I’m getting that pairing of saffron and shieldfish from the fish and rice. Then I’m getting the heat from the peppers. Then I’m getting that deep umami taste from the tamarind.”

“There’s so much going on here, and everything is so well-balanced.” Izana agreed. “When you’re cooking with this many big flavors, the danger is always that one ends up completely overpowering the entire dish. The magic on this plate is that everything comes together harmoniously, and none of these flavors are fighting each other.”

“How did you get that red-brown color on the rice?” Manuela asked.

The coloration of the rice comes from the tamarind and the chili peppers.  Dedue answered.

“Its striking.” Manuela gave him high marks for presentation.

“Your next course.” Byleth instructed.   

“This is Mtuzi wa Samaki—the last of our Duscur inspired courses,” Dedue presented his fourth dish. “The fish is finally sliced and flavored with coconut curry. I’ve served it over a bed of potatoes. The fish and coconut curry can be eaten separately, or consumed as a sauce.”

“The contrast here between the curry and the coconut milk is so interesting,” Manuela opined. “The curry flavor heats you up, and then the coconut flavor cools you back down.”

“That is the purpose of the combination,” Dedue affirmed.

“It’s another homerun on flavor,” Izana had nothing critical to say on that front. “Presentation-wise; it’s chopped fish and sauce on top of sliced potatoes. You could have done more.”

“The potatoes feel a bit uninspired to me,” chef Virion critiqued. “All the flavor of the dish is in that fish and curry. Those potatoes could be replaced with any starch, and I wouldn’t miss them.”

“Your final course,” Byleth instructed one last time.

“For our dessert course, I prepared an Enbarr tart,” Dedue presented his final plate. “Enbarr tarts are usually served sweet-and-savory, with a savory fish filling in the center and a berry glaze on top. Because the shieldfish is such a mild fish, we were able to lean more into the sweet side of the flavor profile and tone down the savory elements to prepare this as a dessert course.”

“Well first of all, kudos for actually making a real dessert.” Izana began with a compliment. “Conceptually—I don’t  know how I feel about an Enbarr tart as a dessert preparation. I think there’s a good reason you usually see this dish presented as sweet-and-savory. Without the savory elements being prominently displayed, the flavors are a bit one-note and the sweetness becomes excessive.”

“It’s a delicious dessert tart I have no problem with the flavors of the dish or the sweetness level,” Virion disagreed.  

“It’s a fine dessert, but it’s too sweet to be an Enbarr tart.” Izana countered. “If he’s calling it an Enbarr Tart; I have to judge it as an Enbarr tart.”
 
“For me there’s a more fundamental problem; I can barely taste the secret ingredient, “ Virion opined. “I know its in here. But its not strongly utilized in this dish.”

“Do you really want your dessert to taste like fish, gentlemen?” Manuela disagreed with both of them.

“There’s no rule that says your final course has to be dessert,” Virion pushed  back. “But when I get a dish in Kitchen Stadium, I expect to be able to taste the secret ingredient.”    

“Hmphhhh,” Manuela gave it another taste, and surmised her thoughts. “A delicious dessert. The fish is detectable—if not prevalent. Not as successful as your savory courses, but any time a chef turns a fish into a dessert that’s high marks for originality in my book.”

“Iron Chef Dedue; thank you for an excellent meal,” Byleth bowed.

THE VERDICT—when Iron Chef: Fodlan returns!!!!!!!

(duhh-duhh duhhh duh-duh duh-duh-duh duh duh)
_______

“Today, two champions met in Kitchen Stadium. Chef Mozu. Iron Chef Dedue,” Byleth addressed the Challenger and The Iron Chef. “Our judges have spoken. And the Winner is…”

…
…
…
…

…
….

*cue smoke machine + celebratory music* 

“IT’S A TIE!!!” (Iron Chef Dedue and Chef Mozu hugged it out + took a celbebrtory shot of Sake together)
______

Well there you have it; Battle Shieldfish in the history books.

Iron Chef Dedue received a near-perfect score in flavor. But the challenger wasn’t too far behind, and received superior marks in plating and a slight edge in originality to close the gap.

Chef Mozu—now one of the elite few who can say she’s stood up to Iron Chef Dedue’s culinary onslaught. I’m sure she’ll be back at some point for a tie-breaker.

I’ll leave you with this closing thought: they say an army marches not on its feet, but on its stomach. If that’s the truth of it; small wonder Blue Lion House murdered Edelgard’s face.

See you next time, hungry travelers, On IRON CHEF: FODLAN!!!

***
(Author's Notes Below)

-Its exactly what I said it was going to be; Fire Emblem turned into an episode of Iron Chef

-The narrative style here is not written for grammatical accuracy; but in an attempt to parody the verbiage and cadence Alton Brown

-This was a weird topic, but we made it work 

 

I enjoyed this. But, uh...did you intentionally misspell Nohrian every time?

[Shoblongoo]

2 hours ago, SoulWeaver said:

I enjoyed this. But, uh...did you intentionally misspell Nohrian every time?

No, I just suck at finding mistakes that don’t get flagged by spell check 

[AnonymousSpeed]

On 4/21/2020 at 1:27 AM, Shoblongoo said:

Byleth

No screw Byleth this is Mark Dacascos.

On 4/21/2020 at 1:27 AM, Shoblongoo said:

Alton Brown

I read this in his voice, and I must say that it was a good replication.

[Shoblongoo]

15 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

No screw Byleth this is Mark Dacascos

Yes.

On 4/22/2020 at 12:36 PM, Anacybele said:

 I hope to finish it today.

 

On 4/22/2020 at 12:39 PM, Benice said:

Probably won't finish. 

[Anacybele]

Oh geez. lol Yep, I'm gonna make it! I have a completed entry now. 😛

This story involves some mother and daughter bonding time between two characters that have shown up in a couple of my entries in the past, but were never the focus. So now they are the stars of the show!

Title: The Cheesecake Caper
Fandom: Fire Emblem (Tellius verse)
Words: 7449

Pre-Read Note:

Spoiler

Just a little pre-read note, in case people never saw or don't remember that I mentioned this before, Azura was created and named long before Fates was a thing. And Louise was also created so long ago that it was at a time where I didn't know FE7 Louise existed. Certainly wouldn't be the first time FE has reused a name though.

Story:

Spoiler

The Cheesecake Caper

 

“Whoa! Mother, where are we going all of a sudden?” ten-year-old Nancy wondered as Lady Azura of the Elhorhi earldom pulled her inside their castle. Situated in the kingdom of Talgria, the Elhorhi Castle, as well as the Elhorhi Town below it, was a grand site to behold with its smooth silvery white stone and light blue and gold décor. The town’s architecture was unique compared to the rest of Talgria as well, incorporating historical characteristics that dated before a lot of what was currently found in the kingdom.

“Just over here,” Azura replied as her long dark red hair swished behind her. “As much as I miss your father when he’s away, I needed him to leave this time.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well, so we could talk about some plans for his birthday!”

“Oh! That’s right, Father’s birthday is coming up in a few days!” Nancy remembered jumping a little, her reddish orange hair bouncing behind her.

“Yep. And this year, I want to plan something extra special for him,” Azura began. “You remember that we’re expecting some special guests for an important meeting not long before your father’s birthday, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Nancy recalled. “King Bryan and Queen Faline of Astryn are coming, as well as Queen Louise and Prince Consort Russell.”

“That’s right. I’ve asked Belinda and Rothgar to come celebrate after they meet with one another too.”

Azura then explained that because their arrivals were so close to coinciding with Leyon’s birthday, she wanted to convince their royal friends to secretly stay for the celebration and surprise the Talgrian general. Russell was his older brother as well, and it wasn’t often that he could be around for such an occasion these days. Bryan and Faline had fought alongside Leyon and Azura in the last war that plagued the continent of Altarais and they also had a close friend in the high ranks of Azura’s troops. Sometimes all of them would meet at Castle Talgria instead, but due to their close ties, they wanted to hold some summits in Elhorhi as well. Queen Belinda of Cilae and the wolf laguz king of Eraghoa, Rothgar, joined them a lot as well. They were having their own meeting at the moment, so they weren’t going to be in this particular summit.

“And after how hard your father has worked while going back and forth between here and Aracion a lot, he deserves this,” Azura finished. Since Leyon was the leader of the Talgrian Royal Knights as well as an earl’s husband, he had duties both in Elhorhi and Talgria’s great capital city.

“Oh, that sounds like fun!” Nancy commented.

“It should be! And of course, some of Leyon’s knights will join us too, and we can see about a few of our other friends.”

“Oh, can we invite Lalita and Miss Lincy? Please please please! And maybe Sir Ike and Kael can come too!”

“Lincy” was the nickname Nancy had given Ike’s wife, Elincia, when she was smaller and still learning to talk. It was easier to say than “Elincia” and the name had stuck since. Elincia never minded either. In fact, she thought it was adorable.

“Heh, of course we can!” Azura agreed happily. “I’m not sure Ike and Kael will want to come though, those two aren’t much for parties and big fancy gatherings.”

“Aww… But didn’t you say Sir Ike went to the one you guys had after that war was over?”

“He did, but he felt much more obligated to attend that one. It was a huge celebration dedicated to everyone that had made that victory possible. He would’ve felt disrespectful if he didn’t go.”

“Oh, I see… That’s a bummer… What party poopers!”

“Heh, I can still ask though. We’ll see.”

“Well, okay then! So…what are we doing next? Buy Father a present or two?”

“Ah, well, since your father loves blueberry cheesecake more than just about anything, we’re going to make him the best and biggest one he’s ever gotten!”

“Oh, wow! So we’re going to ask Mr. Gordon to do that?”

“Heh, usually we would, but this time, we’re making the cheesecake ourselves. You and me!”

“Ooh, that would be fun! But do you know how to make one, Mother?”

“I don’t, but we’re going to learn. It would be most special if we made it ourselves, don’t you think?”

“Oh, yeah! Okay then!”

“Great! Now, one big thing you have to do for me is keep quiet about it to your father. This is a surprise, remember.”

“Ah, yes, Mother. I will.”

“Alright. Our guests are arriving tomorrow, so as soon as the meeting is over, we’ll talk to Mr. Gordon about the necessary ingredients and recipe and then head out to buy anything we might need. Also, I’m having Marc, Leona, and Skye help with decorating the banquet hall for the party. If you want, you can go help there too until I’m ready for you. They’ll be starting while the meeting is going on.”

“Wow, that sounds fun too! I’ll do that!”

“Good to hear! And one last thing, while the banquet hall is decorated, you can also help keep your father out of there until it’s time.”

Azura then winked at her daughter.

“Hee hee, sure!” Nancy obliged.

“Great! We both need a good night’s sleep tonight since we’ll have a big day tomorrow. We’re going to await the arrival of our guests and send some party invitations first thing.”

“Alright, Mother! I can’t wait!”

“Me neither! For now though, let’s work on your studies. I also have to make sure rooms and the conference chamber are being prepared for our guests.”

“Alright.”

The rest of the day couldn’t go by fast enough for the two as they did their necessary tasks and duties. Nancy tried her best to focus on her work, but the idea of helping to set up a surprise party for her father was simply too exciting for the young girl. Azura, after looking in on those getting the required rooms ready, polished her coronet and began brainstorming on the décor she wanted for the party and how big she wanted Leyon’s blueberry cheesecake to be. There would be a larger than usual number of guests at the celebration, so at least twice the average cake size would probably be necessary.

Azura and Nancy also had to consider non-food gifts for Leyon as well. And it was likely that Marc and Leona would want to get something for him too, as they’d been serving under him for years and even had Leyon to thank for their relationship and marriage, and by extension, their son Cameron. For the longest time, and even to this day, the general had a knack for wanting to set up his troops on dates if he thought they were compatible, and there was no duo he’d sought more to bring together than Marc and Leona. To him, they had the clearest sparks and chemistry of anyone and he had been right. This led some to believe Leyon really did have some sort of sixth sense for these things, that he had the unusual talent of being able to see how compatible people were with each other. Azura wouldn’t be surprised at this point given how he’d won her over. He might not have felt he had a chance with her at first, but he hadn’t given up and was set on the belief that they could work. And of course, they did.

Despite that it was rather difficult to sleep with all the excitement in their minds, Azura and Nancy were up as early as reasonable to get started on the day’s plans. Bryan, Faline, and the other guests were due to arrive that morning and Azura sought out her messenger to deliver party invitations as soon as she could. She didn’t want to be absent from the castle doors when her guests arrived, especially when she knew they’d be doing so at the same time. Bryan and Faline always decided to stop at Aracion to meet Russell and Louise first when they were going to hold summits in Elhorhi.

Afterward, Azura and Nancy went just outside of the castle gates to greet their soon-to-be arriving guests. They’d received word that their wagons were coming up the road to the castle that moment, and sure enough, they appeared within minutes of Azura and Nancy stepping outside. However, only one wagon had come instead of the usual two. When it opened, Bryan, Faline, and Louise all stepped out. Bryan, known as the Emerald King across Altarais as well as Tellius, the only known neighboring continent, looked as his namesake would say. He was garbed from head to toe in emerald armor, and a dark blue cape cascaded down his back. He wore a gold coronet with shapes resembling lightning bolts to match the shape of the blade of his personal weapon, a lance called Eronite. Faline had long medium tone pink hair and wore a light, but elaborate plum purple suit of armor fit for the rider of a Pegasus, which she was. Louise’s armor was somewhat similar, as she too rode a Pegasus, except hers was turquoise blue. She kept her magenta hair in a bun and looped braids.

“Azura!” Bryan greeted. “Hey!”

“Bryan, Faline, Louise! So great to see all of you, as usual,” Azura replied and gave her old friends a hug. “But…where’s Russell?”

“Ah, he chose to stay behind this time to meet Leyon,” Louise explained. “They don’t get to spend a lot of time together, after all, so I couldn’t say no.”

“Yeah, those two have to make good on any time they get together,” Faline agreed. “They’re thicker than a brick wall!”

“Oh, I see…” Azura replied. “Shoot… Uh, well, when Leyon comes back here, is Russell going with him?”

“Oh, definitely!” Louise confirmed with a smile. “Leyon has a birthday in a couple days, Russell’s not going to be absent for that.”

“Thank goodness. I came up with some big plans for that and they involve you guys,” Azura said and then began to relay what she had told Nancy the day before.

“It’s going to be so much fun!” Nancy herself chimed in.

“Wow, that does sound great!” Bryan agreed when Azura finished. “Of course you can count me in! Leyon deserves it anyway, he works so hard these days with all the double duty he pulls.”

“Oh, yes! I’d love to stay and surprise him!” Faline agreed. “I wouldn’t mind helping with the decorating either.”

“Indeed!” Louise pitched in. “We owe Leyon so much for what he does. I could never say no to this idea.”

“Great!” Azura said excitedly. “Just remember that this is a surprise and no one is to say anything about it to Leyon when he gets here. Especially you, Bryan. I haven’t forgotten your bad habits. You better keep your mouth shut or I’ll force it shut.”

“Eh, heh…” Bryan bashfully replied, scratching the back of his head. “I figured you’d say something like that. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure I don’t mess this up. You can count on Skye to help keep me in check too.”

“Good to hear.”

“Speaking of which—”

“Yes, Bryan, I know where he is, you always ask,” Azura interrupted with a smile. “Skye’s in the banquet hall with Marc and Leona. They’re starting to set up the décor. Nancy here is going to help them.”

“Ah, nice! I’ll go with you two to see him real quick before we begin our summit.”

“Of course! Just follow me inside.”

With that, the group went inside the vast castle and began to catch up a little, with Azura asking how everyone was and if their journeys had gone well. Aside from a small instance of unfavorable weather, no one had any real interruptions in their travels, thankfully.

“And how are the twins doing?” Azura wondered. “They a handful for Owen when you’re away? Heh heh.”

“Ha, my dad would probably say yes to that,” Bryan chuckled. “Alex and Calina are well. And they’re certainly easier to handle now than say, five years ago. They’re beginning to learn the ins and outs of running Astryn now. I kind of wish I’d brought them along to join this birthday party though, they would’ve enjoyed it and seeing Nancy. Heck, they might’ve even asked to help prepare those cakes you mentioned.”

“I dunno, I’d be afraid that their ability to keep a secret is as bad as their father’s.”

Azura snickered at her words.

“Very funny,” Bryan retorted.

“Hee hee, she has a point, though,” Faline pointed out with a giggle.

“Oh come on!”

“I swear, you three will always be the most un-noble of any nobles and royals that I’ve ever known,” Louise commented with a smile. “But I enjoy it. You keep things fresh and different!”

“Heh, thanks!” Azura replied.

“And don’t worry, we’ll never change,” Bryan assured with a grin.

“Heh, good to hear,” Louise replied. “Well, shall Faline and I bring our things to our rooms and then head into the conference chamber while the rest of you go to the banquet hall? I won’t mind waiting for you.”

“Sure!” Faline agreed. “I’ll come by the banquet hall to say hi to Skye and the others later. I’d like to get settled in first.”

“Fine with me,” Bryan said. “I’ll try not to be long.”

“Don’t get your hopes up though,” Azura said, another snicker coming to her lips. “Bryan and Skye could sit in there for hours just goofing off.”

“Oh shut up!”

“Well, I’d believe it!” Faline giggled again.

“Did everyone just decide that they wanted to gang up on me today or something?” Bryan retorted. “Well, I guess I have sometimes spent a little too long with Skye here. And I suppose it would be fun to just goof off with him all day. Ha ha…”

“Indeed,” Azura said with a smile. “Well, let’s go.”

With that, Azura, Bryan, and Nancy separated from Faline and Louise and made their way to the banquet hall where some décor had recently been hauled over. It was the largest room in the castle, complete with a marble floor and plenty of space for dancing and dining. Sometimes long tables were used for an occasion, and other times round ones were placed instead. And still other occasions, such as balls, called for few tables at all. Beautiful chandeliers hung from the ceiling, always lit by dozens of candles.

When Azura opened the doors, she saw that thankfully, Skye, Marc, and Leona were already getting started. Alongside them, Azura was rather surprised to see Cameron there as well. Marc and Leona’s near teenage son didn’t look too pleased to be there though, blowing a lock of his lavender hair out of his face. His hair color matched his mother’s. Marc had slightly unruly blueish green hair. Skye was pulling out a ladder, his short bright blue ponytail bouncing behind his neck.

“Marc, Leona, Skye!” she greeted. “Hey, guys!”

“Oh, hey!” Skye greeted, and then noticed Bryan next to his liege. “Ah, Bryan!!”

He then set his ladder down and rushed over to his longtime best friend.

“Hey, Skye!!” Bryan happily replied as the two wrapped their arms around one another in a giant hug.

“Ah, Lady Azura,” Marc replied with a smile. “I’m glad you came by. We brought a whole bunch of decorations!”

“Yes, this will be the most amazing birthday party room!” Leona proclaimed.

“I’m glad to hear it!” Azura replied excitedly. “I’ve brought Nancy to give you a hand.”

“Oh, wonderful! She’ll have fun.”

“Hey, Nan!” Cameron greeted. “I hope you have more fun than me, anyway. I’d rather be back home hanging out with Kael…”

“Cameron, I told you before,” Leona scolded a little. “If you want to be a knight, then you’re eventually going to be serving under General Leyon. And helping with his birthday party is a way to show him respect.”

“If he’s still the general then, sure. He might not be around anymore.”

“Cameron!”

“Well, it’s true!”

“And it isn’t a respectful thing to say! I will put soap in your mouth!”

“Yeah, Cam, you know better than that,” Marc added, putting a hand on his hip. “And anyway, it’s not a bad idea to help with the decorations. We’ll get it done faster. Now…uh, where were we going to put this again?”

Marc held up a roll of yellow streamers.

“Ugh…” Leona groaned, slapping her face. “On those, Marc…”

She pointed to a few of the chandeliers.

“Ah, right,” Marc replied, scratching his head.

“Heh, some things never change,” Bryan commented.

“Yep, you still suck at keeping secrets and Marc still has a memory made of polka cheese,” Azura said, snickering some more.

Skye suddenly burst into laughter.

“Hahahaha! Oh man! Isn’t that the truth!” he said through his laughing.

“Will you cut that out?!” Bryan demanded.

Nancy giggled loudly too.

“Well, at least our quirks are interesting, I think?” Marc suggested with a chuckle. “Anyway, it’s good to see you too, King Bryan. I’m guessing Faline is getting settled in?”

“Oh, yeah. She’ll be by later,” Bryan confirmed. “And also, Skye, I’d love to stay and chat more, but I have a summit to go to first, and it looks like you’re busy now anyway. But as soon as I’m done and you can take a break?”

“Oh, for sure,” Skye replied. “I’ll see you then!”

“Well, I guess I’ll leave Nancy with you guys and Bryan and I will get going,” Azura decided and then turned to her daughter. “Have a good time, Nancy, and do everything Marc, Leona, and Skye tell you. I’ll be back as soon as I can so we can get started on the blueberry cheesecake.”

“Yes, Mother! And thanks for letting me help!” Nancy said excitedly.

A few hours passed as Azura and her guests participated in their summit and the banquet hall began to see decorations. Azura occasionally found her mind wandering to the party plans despite that she did her best to pay attention to the summit. Louise had to snap her back to reality while Bryan and Faline could only chuckle. Of course, it was understandable that Azura was excited, and Bryan considered it payback for all the teasing she had done earlier anyway.

Nancy, meanwhile, was enjoying putting up streamers and ornaments as well as setting up round tables with colorful table cloths and festive centerpieces. A banner with the words “Happy Birthday, General Leyon!” was going to be hung across the far end of the room. One long table was to be reserved for party food and the room’s raised platform was for musicians to play.

With all the excitement, time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and before she knew it, Nancy found herself being reunited with her mother as Azura came to get her again. They could finally ask the head chef, Gordon, about making a large blueberry cheesecake. Excitedly, the two hurried to the castle kitchen as quickly as they could in search of the violet haired cook. Thankfully, he wasn’t difficult to find, as he was already preparing some ingredients for another recipe at one of the kitchen counters.

“Ah, Gordon,” Azura greeted. “There you are.”

“Oh, my ladies,” Gordon replied when he saw his liege and Nancy and took a small bow. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, Leyon’s birthday is very soon and Nancy and I decided that this year, we’d like you to teach us how to make a blueberry cheesecake for him. We want to make a big one!”

“Oh? That sounds terrific! But you do know my team and I can just make it ourselves. We’d be happy to! And I was planning to make Leyon a cake as well anyway. We always do.”

“Yes, but it would be more special if Nancy and I make it ourselves. I’m not much of a cook though, so we’ll need your guidance.”

“Ah, I see. It’s still an unusual request in my opinion, but if you insist, I’ll be glad to help.”

“Oh, thanks so much! And if you want, you and the other chefs can still make an actual birthday cake! How does that sound?”

“Ah, splendid! We will do that then!”

“Then it’s settled! Could we get started on the cheesecake now? Or will it not be fresh enough in two days time for a birthday party?”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’ll be fine if we store it properly. We can start now.”

“Ah, great to hear. Let’s do it then.”

“Alrighty. Now, you might have already guessed this, but we’ll have to start with the crust. That can either be a pie crust or crushed graham crackers.”

“Hmm…” Azura thought. “I think we’ll go with the crackers, I’d like it to look like a cake, not a pie.”

“Alright then. All we have to do is place the crackers in a pan along with a few other ingredients and then bake it for a period of time. We’ll have to heat one of the ovens in here as well, so I’ll show you that first.”

“Okay.”

“Yay! This is already fun!” Nancy chimed.

Azura and Nancy both put on aprons before getting started. Gordon then led the two to a vacant brick oven and then showed them how the flame inside was lit. It would take a few minutes for the entire oven to be hot enough. Afterward, he led them to the large pantry in the back where ingredients that were soon to be used were stored. The castle granary beyond the kitchen stored larger and newer supplies that were very recently delivered. The trio grabbed the crackers, some freshly churned butter, cinnamon, and sugar. Upon the counter, Gordon placed a large round pan that was about sixteen inches across.

“You said you want a large cheesecake, right? Will this cake pan work for you?” he asked.

“Oh, yes! That’s perfect,” Azura agreed.

“Ah! Oh no…!” Nancy suddenly cried. Azura turned to see that her daughter had mistakenly knocked over the bag of sugar and it had torn on the edge of a cabinet door. At least a full cup of it was now spilled on the kitchen floor with the bag sitting there beside the mess.

“Nancy! You have to be more careful!” Azura insisted in slight annoyance.

“I’m so sorry, Mother, Mr. Gordon…” Nancy apologized. “I was just trying to open it a little…”

“That’s fine, but as your mother said, you have to be careful. We don’t want to waste food, after all,” Gordon added. “Don’t worry too much though, I can easily clean this up and we still can save enough of what was in the bag.”

“Okay…”

After Gordon quickly used a broom to pick up the mess, the work on the cheesecake crust resumed. With Gordon’s supervision, Azura and Nancy began adding the ingredients to the cake pan.

“Let’s mix together, Nancy!” Azura said with a smile. Nancy happily obliged as the two used a pair of whisks to thoroughly combine the ingredients.

When that was done, Azura carefully set the pan in the heated oven. It would then take ten minutes at least to fully bake.

“Alright, while that’s baking, let’s get the ingredients for the filling and—” Gordon began and suddenly cut himself off. “Oh no, dang it.”

“What’s the matter?” Azura wondered.

“Is something wrong?” Nancy added.

“I just remembered we’re low on milk and blueberries right now,” Gordon realized. “We’ve been using so much of those lately and I don’t think we have enough left for this cake. Milk is required to make the cream cheese that’s then needed make cheesecake. Neither milk nor fruit last long either, so we constantly have to get new supplies.”

“Oh,” Azura replied. “When are more due to be delivered?”

“Not until tonight, I’m afraid.”

“Ugh. Crud… Well, I guess Nancy and I will go buy some in the market.”

“What? Are you sure? You’re the earl, my lady. You can have someone run the errand for you. And you could draw a lot of attention to yourselves if you go into town out of the blue like this.”

“True, but I still want this cake to be as special as it possibly can, and getting the ingredients ourselves would help with that. And as for drawing attention, we’ll just put on some disguises. We’d rather not have Leyon find out we were in town anyway so he doesn’t get suspicious. He would probably figure out that some kind of birthday plan was going on.”

“Well, alright, if that’s what you want to do. Don’t leave until we take the crust out of the oven though, it won’t take long to bake. You can go get the milk and blueberries while it cools. It will have to cool for a while anyway.”

“Okay, sounds good then. You do want to go with me, Nancy, right? I’d love it if you did.”

“Oh, totally, Mother! I don’t get to go into town much anyway,” Nancy pointed out.

“That is true!”

About ten minutes passed before Gordon said the crust should be ready. And ready it was when Azura carefully took it out of the oven. It was a golden brown and the heavily aroma it produced traveled throughout the kitchen.

“Mmm, this will be so tasty!” Nancy commented.

“It sure will!” Azura agreed. “Gordon, can we leave this on the counter to cool while you and your team work? Just be careful no one knocks it over or takes it.”

“Ah, of course,” Gordon agreed. “I don’t have a lot to do at the moment, so I can guard it.”

“Thanks! Let’s go, Nancy. We’ll grab some cloaks and take a horse from the stable.”

“Okay, Mother!” Nancy said and excitedly followed Azura out of the kitchen.

After borrowing two cloaks from some soldiers, Azura and Nancy traversed a hallway that led towards the castle stables. Minutes later, some familiar voices began to echo from another corridor. Azura and Nancy nearly jumped a little when one of them suddenly spoke up rather loudly.

“Damn it, Bryan!” Skye’s voice beamed. Azura and Nancy turned to see him chastising Bryan and Bryan himself with a hand over his face.

“Even when you’re being quieter you still can’t keep a secret!” Skye continued.

“And I’ll try harder, okay?!” Bryan retorted.

“Sigh…” Azura groaned as she approached the two friends. “Bryan, I swear to the goddess.”

“Azura!” Bryan said. “We didn’t know you were there.”

“Yeah, well, he messed up already, I’m afraid,” Skye said.

“It was one person! One person happened to overhear me talking to Skye about the party,” Bryan explained. “It was a maid and she promised to stay quiet.”

“Well, either keep your voice down some more or don’t even open your damn mouth! I told you already,” Azura reiterated. “Leyon is due back tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, of course. Like I said, I’ll try harder. Believe me, I will feel absolutely horrible if I end up ruining the surprise.”

“Good. Now Nancy and I have to go out for a little while. Just make sure nothing goes wrong with the party prep and all.”

“Sure thing, Milady,” Skye replied. “You can count on us.”

“Good to know.”

With that, Azura and Nancy continued to the stables to pick out a horse to saddle up. They made sure to properly don their cloaks as well, including wearing the hoods. Azura double checked to see if she brought enough money to buy the ingredients, which she did. After setting up a brown thoroughbred with a saddle and saddlebag, Azura helped Nancy onto its back and then mounted it herself. She hadn’t had experience in riding a horse on her own until Leyon had showed her some time after their marriage. She never rode one into battle, but it was useful for when she had to go somewhere on her own and didn’t feel the need to use a wagon.

Thankfully, even though the Elhorhi earldom was a pretty decent size and covered several towns, Elhorhi Town itself was not all that big and the market was a short ride away from the castle. Nancy was in awe at all of the busy people and stalls as she excitedly looked around at all of them to see what products were offered. Some sold vegetables while others sold meat and still others had clothes or trinkets or other wares. Many people were going back and forth between them and buying various goods as well. Smiling faces were seen everywhere, and the occasional tense business discussion as well.

This always pleased Azura, as not even many decades before, this area had been nothing but a pile of ruins, the remains of an older tribal community…of which Azura was the last remaining member. It was why she had been granted a noble title and authority over these lands. To revive the history and prosperity of the tribe of healers and light magic wielders that had once inhabited this place. The buildings even used a style that resembled the original as closely as possible. Silvery white stone with many gold and beige accents.

Azura and Nancy approached a stall selling fruit to get the supply of blueberries they needed. After dismounting their horse, the two were about to begin picking out what they thought were the best ones when a frantic voice suddenly shouted from somewhere down the street.

“STOP! Someone stop that thief!” another vendor shouted. “He’s got some of my milk supply!”

“Wha?!” Azura gasped. Before she could do anything, a young man dressed in old clothes came bursting by while carrying three jugs of milk and ended up knocking her into a cart of pears. The pears spilled all over the ground and a couple hit Azura on the arm and head.

“Ack!” she grunted. Thankfully, she was able to prevent her identity from being exposed as she held onto her hood.

“Mother!” Nancy cried. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright… That son of a—!”

Before she could continue, however, Azura then witnessed the thief turn around and put almost all the blueberries in a sack as well. And then he began to dash off again. Azura growled as she got up.

“Lovely. He just has to steal the ingredients we came out here to buy. Nancy, follow as closely behind me as you can. I can’t leave you here by yourself and I have to chase this moron!”

“Oh no…” Nancy uttered nervously. “Okay…”

With that, Azura drew a silver sword she’d brought with her and ran after the man. Nancy kept up with her mother as best as she could, though she consistently lagged behind a little due to her mother having always been naturally pretty fast.

“Come back here you dirtbag!” Azura cried angrily. The thief had turned a corner into an alley, however, and then seemed to disappear.

Nancy caught up a few moments later and remained hidden behind her mother as best as she could. Azura desperately looked around for the thief, but he was nowhere to be found and she wasn’t sure which way he had gone. Moments later, however, Nancy suddenly let out a cry.

“AH!”

Azura turned to see her daughter no longer behind her.

“Mother, HELP!” Nancy cried from nearby.

“Heh heh, nice try,” a young man’s voice said. Azura turned again to see the thief from before. Only this time, he held Nancy up against himself with a dagger at her throat.

“HEY! LET MY DAUGHTER GO, NOW!!” Azura threatened, raising her sword.

“Ha. Give me your money and maybe I will! Or else…” the thief replied. Nancy began to cry as she was unable to get out of the man’s grip. He then shouted that she be quiet.

“Why you…” Azura mouthed angrily. “You harm a hair on her head and you will be very sorry.”

“Heh, well, you can save her, you know… Just do as I said.”

Of course, the decision wasn’t hard to make, even if Azura was sacrificing ingredients for her husband’s birthday cheesecake. Her daughter’s life was more important, and Leyon would have done the same. Azura lowered her sword and conceded.

“Fine,” she said and took out her coin purse. She then approached the thief, who began to loosen his grip on Nancy.

Azura had another idea up her sleeve, however. Before the thief could react, she raised one foot and kicked the dagger out of his hand. It landed behind him and he was forced to release Nancy. Azura then grabbed the thief before he could attempt to retrieve the dagger.

“Nancy, run!” Azura ordered. Her daughter then rushed to the alley entrance, turning to watch her mother combat the thief in hopes that she would come out of the conflict unscathed. The thief still attempted to fight back, however, and due to him being a little taller than her, he had Azura nearly evenly matched strength-wise and shoved her forward into the ground. The stolen food, which had been strapped to the thief’s back, began to spill all over both of them, covering the two in milk and blueberry juice. Azura spit some of it away as she glared at the thief and drove her feet into his torso, throwing him off of her and causing him to collide with a nearby wall. She then raised her sword and rushed at him. The thief had grabbed the dagger just as Azura was about to strike him and tried to raise it to block her blade. Azura was more cunning, however, and foresaw it. She made it appear that she was aiming for his neck, only to drive her blade into his lower torso instead. After Azura ripped it out of him a second later, spattering some blood on her torso and legs, he began to cough up blood and slowly collapse to the ground. He was dead within the next few moments.

Azura panted a little as she stared at the corpse for a minute. It these times of peace, it was the first time she’d actually had to kill someone in years. She could console herself that she did it to save her daughter, but it hadn’t stopped the incident from catching her off guard. She had certainly never expected to have to fight someone during an errand to get a couple recipe ingredients. Snapping herself back to reality, Azura rejoined her daughter outside the alley.

“Are you alright, Nancy?” she inquired. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Nancy replied. “It was scary, but it’s over and that bad man is gone.”

“Right. That’s good to know. I’m just annoyed that I’m a mess now and that we now have to hope we can even buy those ingredients…”

“Oh, yeah…”

With that, the two returned to the market stall they had been at before and notified both the owner and a guard who was there of what had happened. The guard understood and went to get the thief’s body removed. Afterward, Azura inquired about more blueberries. Thankfully, the vendor had enough left for her, though it was the last batch he had and he wasn’t sure when he’d get more. Azura promised she’d send word to the castle to help restock, not allowing her identity to slip. She and Nancy then visited the milk vendor who had tried chasing the thief before. He thanked her and decided to give her milk for half price. He actually had a healthier stock than the fruit vendor did of the blueberries, much to their relief.

Azura and Nancy returned to the castle as quickly as they could to return the horse to the stable and bring the ingredients to the kitchen. The two hadn’t yet removed their cloaks, however, so when they entered the kitchen, Gordon was going to notice Azura’s not so neat appearance.

“Gordon, we’re back,” Azura greeted.

“Oh, my lady—” Gordon began, but paused when he noticed the mess all over his liege’s cloak, his eyes widening. “Oh my goodness. What in the world happened to you out there? Were you injured?!”

“Ah, no, don't worry. The blood isn't mine. It’s a bit complicated,” Azura replied as she removed hers and Nancy’s cloaks and set them aside. “I’ll tell you after we finish the cheesecake. We should have all of the remaining ingredients now.”

“Uh... Alright then. I got the rest out of the pantry for you. The crust is definitely cooled enough. However, you should bring that cloak to the wash maids as soon as you can, otherwise others are going to wonder what you’ve been doing down here.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Okay. Might want to wash your hands before we continue though…”

Azura then realized she’d gotten a little mixture of blood, milk, and blueberry juice on her fingers.

“…Ah, yes. Sorry about this, I’ll do that,” she said awkwardly and quickly cleaned up at the kitchen’s wash tub. She and Nancy put their aprons back on as well.

“Alright. Next we make the cream cheese by warming the milk and mixing the cream with it. Then it’ll have to set for several hours, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, okay,” Azura said. “I didn’t expect this…”

“I would have you use already-made cream cheese, but we don’t have enough at the moment. Your husband loves his cheesecake that much. And of course, the cream cheese is used for other things too.”

“Awww. I wanted to make the whole cake now!” Nancy opined. “This is fun!”

“Well, we can think of it this way, Nancy,” Azura consoled her daughter. “This just means the blueberry cheesecake will be even fresher when we’re ready to have the party!”

“…Well, yeah, that’s true!”

“And you should be able to come back down here tonight to finish!” Gordon added with a smile.

“Oh, yay!”

Gordon then helped Azura put a pot of milk above the same oven used to make the cake crust. It only took a few minutes for it to warm to a temperature that the head chef was satisfied would make good cream cheese. Azura and Nancy then mixed the cream and milk together in a bowl.

In the several hours she and Nancy had to wait to continue afterward, Azura periodically checked on the banquet hall to see how the decorating is going. Other than Marc still occasionally forgetting where something was supposed to go or where something was at all, there were thankfully no issues. Bryan had so far managed to keep quiet as well, though Azura was certain Skye truly was keeping his best friend in check. Still, she was fine with it as long as it helped. Azura wasn’t sure she could deal with another problem after she had literally gotten her hands quite dirty in the market. Gordon later relayed to her his plan for the normal birthday cake, which was a round chocolate two-level cake. Almost wedding style, but a little smaller and with a birthday theme instead. Since it was going to be a rather big party, an elaborate cake was necessary, Gordon figured. Azura most certainly approved.

That evening, Azura and Nancy excitedly returned to the kitchen to see if the cream cheese was ready, and Gordon happily reported that it was. Even though it was well past dusk, Azura didn’t care. She wanted to finish the cheesecake when she could. That way, the last day before Leyon’s birthday could be used to get him gifts, prepare more party food, and put the finishing touches on the banquet hall. Azura would have time to greet the other guests that would be arriving for the occasion as well, and keep Leyon busy until the surprise was ready to be revealed the day after. At the very least, people who were carrying in gifts or food had to avoid letting the knight see them, and he definitely had to be kept away from the banquet hall. People had to act normal too, or else Leyon would suspect something was going on. As a veteran military leader, it was natural for him to wonder if anything untoward was happening, and he would very well do that.

“Alright, what we do next is mix the cream cheese with the sugar first. And then we beat in the eggs, some sour cream, and vanilla extract,” Gordon instructed when the girls were back in the aprons once more.

Azura did most of the mixing while Nancy gradually handed her each of the required eggs and the other ingredients to be added to the cream cheese and sugar mixture. At one point, an egg slipped from Nancy’s hand as she was giving it to her mother and it crashed to the floor.

“Ah!” Azura cried, narrowly avoiding the egg landing on the toe of her boot.

“Ugh! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Nancy pleaded in embarrassment. “I made a mess again…”

“Heh, it’s okay, one egg is nothing,” Gordon assured as he wiped up the egg and shells from the floor. “We always have a lot of those. And believe me, even some of my crew have been known to drop one, and I’ve done it too! Nobody’s perfect.”

“Yeah, you’re new to this, sweetie,” Azura added. “I still have to tell you to be careful, but I know you’re trying. And I’m new too, so it wouldn’t be right of me to be mad at you for little mistakes that I could just as easily make.”

“Okay. I’ll keep trying, Mother! And I’m still having fun!”

“That’s good!”

“Oh yeah, do you want the blueberry in the mixture or drizzled on top?” Gordon inquired. “General Leyon never seemed to care, but we liked to try for something in between.”

“Oh, yeah, he doesn’t, of course. He just wants some sort of blueberry flavor in it,” Azura replied. “We’ll drizzle it on top this time, as that looks fancier. This is a party cake, after all.”

“Alright, that works. Some of the flavor should still seep inside anyway. In that case, let’s mash up some of these blueberries. You ought to like doing that, Nancy!”

“Oh, yes! I’ll help!” Nancy eagerly agreed.

With that, Gordon supervised the girl as she helped mash the berries into a pasty spread in another bowl. Azura and Nancy were then instructed to add some water and sugar to it so it became saucy. It was finished with a dab of lemon juice.

“Can I put the sauce on, Mother?” Nancy then said.

“Sure!” Azura agreed with a smile. “I’ll put the cake mixture in the crust then.”

“Yay!”

With that, Azura, with a little assistance from Gordon, poured the cake mixture into the crust and its pan. Afterward, Nancy happily took the bowl of blueberry sauce and while doing her best to be careful and Azura made sure she didn’t drop it, she gradually poured lines of sauce onto the cake’s surface. When she was done, she smiled happily at her work.

“There! Father should love this!” she said.

“Yes, he will!” Azura assured. “Good job, sweetie!”

“Thank you, Mother!”

“Indeed it looks great!” Gordon complimented. “I might have instructed you, but I’m impressed! Now, the cake has to bake for a little while and when we take it out, you can accent the center with a few blueberries if you want and it should be complete. We’ll store it for you.”

“Ah, great!” Azura replied, helping Gordon to put the cake in the oven afterward. “There! I’m so glad this went well enough, all things considered. I have to admit I was a little nervous doing this for the first time.”

“I just had fun!” Nancy put in with a smile.

“And I’m glad you did!”

“Can I put the blueberries in the middle when it’s ready?”

“You sure can!”

“Yay! Thank you, Mother!”

Nancy then gave her mother a big hug, which Azura happily returned. It wasn’t often she could get this kind of mother and daughter time with Nancy, and she was very glad she did, even if in the end, it was something they did for her husband.

“And now, all we have to worry about is Bryan keeping his big blabbermouth shut,” Azura said with a chuckle.

“Hee hee hee, yeah!” Nancy giggled. “I think this will be the most fun party ever though! And Father will love it too!”

“Oh yes, he certainly will!”

Post-Read Notes:

Spoiler

- We finally get to see some of Marc and Leona beyond mentions! I really wanted to include them in this, though I do admit doing so is part of the reason for the story's length. Still, their appearance makes enough sense, I think.
- Marc's crappy memory has a pretty sad explanation, btw. He suffers from some short-term memory loss and he wasn't actually born this way. He sustained some permanent brain damage when he was a kid after he and his parents were in a wagon accident. He can no longer remember what his parents looked like anymore, and he often forgets their names too. Only Leona and Leyon remind him of those things. He's partly based on Dory from the Finding Nemo and Finding Dory movies, but I also really wanted to write a character who has a disability that, while it doesn't prevent the character from being able to fight, does still present some challenges in life. I don't really see characters like this done very often at all, so yeah. Marc's also a rather glass-half-full guy, so he looks for the positive a lot. Leona's the more touchy one.
- Polka cheese is what we call Swiss cheese. Switzerland obviously doesn't exist in the FE universe, so I had to give this cheese a different name. I decided on polka cheese because of the holes. They look like polka dots.
- I hope Azura is badass when she takes out that thief. She's definitely meant to be a no-nonsense noble who can and will kick your ass if you mess with her or her loved ones! Also, I admit that even though I'm no fan of Lyn, Azura was loosely based on her. She's more based on Ike (big surprise lol), but I gave her a few Lyn characteristics too, like being a fast sword wielder and the last survivor of a tribe. Azura's tribe was much different, but still.
- And between her and Bryan and Faline, I wanted to write a little group of nobles (and in Bryan and Faline's case, royals) that weren't the typical mold for such a person. They're more casual and don't care so much for honorifics and junk. Also, Azura likes teasing Bryan. lol He might've been the bullies' favorite target as a child, but even as an adult, Bryan is still a teasing target more often than others. XD Thankfully, his friends are just playing!
- Gordon is named after the famous chef Gordon Ramsay! And similarly, Bryan and Faline's own head chef in Astryn is named Ramsey (I like that spelling more than Ramsay).

 

Edited May 18, 2020 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

It's too late to write this idea, but it's going here! Fodlan 2nd gen AU ficverse:

Quote

I'm picturing a thing where Mercie and Ferdie's girls invite their uncle over for pancakes and Uncle Emile makes pancakes that look like skulls and puts strawberries in the eyes and piles them with fruit and whipped cream. Wholesome ex con uncle. Either that or he makes pancakes in the shape of dead guys like in Despicable Me.

And then they argue over who gets the last dead guy one.

Emile: *cuts it in half* Now who wants heads and who wants tails?

Ferdinand is SO PROUD of his family about now. Lol

I love Jeritza and Mercedes' platonic ending. Yep, I stuck Mercedes with Ferdinand and they had twin girls.

Wholesome af.

[Anacybele]

Wow, no last minute entry from Anon this time. I'm surprised. lol

[AnonymousSpeed]

54 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Wow, no last minute entry from Anon this time. I'm surprised. lol

Hah! I'd definitely thought about. I had this weird plan for a, uh..."derivative" of Good Eats. Lute would have been Alton Brown with Artur as a straight man, and it was going to be a parody of the Night of the Living Dead or something, and I already forgot what they were going to make, but there would have been jokes about chemicals in the water and Lute randomly pulling out models to help explain the science behind what she was cooking. I got a little busy though. Oops.

[Benice]

Cripes! (Or should I say, Crepes?) I'm gonna be chopped by the judges for not getting it on the plate!

Urgh...I need to get an entry in soon! I must!

21 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hah! I'd definitely thought about. I had this weird plan for a, uh..."derivative" of Good Eats. Lute would have been Alton Brown with Artur as a straight man, and it was going to be a parody of the Night of the Living Dead or something, and I already forgot what they were going to make, but there would have been jokes about chemicals in the water and Lute randomly pulling out models to help explain the science behind what she was cooking. I got a little busy though. Oops.

Nobody expects the Grado inquisition! Maybe Kyle could have been W.

[AnonymousSpeed]

3 minutes ago, Benice said:

Cripes! (Or should I say, Crepes?) I'm gonna be chopped by the judges for not getting it on the plate!

 

We're sorry Chef Benice, but for these reasons, we have to chop you.

 

3 minutes ago, Benice said:

Maybe Kyle could have been W.

"So Kyle, what have we got here."
"This is a wooden spatula. You can use it to scrape metal pans without damaging them. As you can see, this particular one has a handle carved to look like a dog."

I honestly see Lute as more of a W, now that you mention it.

[Anacybele]

8 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hah! I'd definitely thought about. I had this weird plan for a, uh..."derivative" of Good Eats. Lute would have been Alton Brown with Artur as a straight man, and it was going to be a parody of the Night of the Living Dead or something, and I already forgot what they were going to make, but there would have been jokes about chemicals in the water and Lute randomly pulling out models to help explain the science behind what she was cooking. I got a little busy though. Oops.

I see. That's understandable, I've been writing my entries a little later than usual because of other busy stuff too.

This reminds me though. What is it people see in stories that are just pure comedy and jokes like Shob's entry in this round? I never care for stories like these because they lack any real depth or seriousness or plot. They're just like giant memes the way I see it. Even if some of the jokes might be funny. It's also why I do not care for a lot of modern cartoons, they seem to just focus more on dumb jokes (and also hideous art styles a lot), than coming up with cool plots and characters.

And that brings me to my critique. Done fast this time because of how few entries we got in this round.

@Shoblongoo This...was not my cup of tea at all, honestly. The concept is interesting, but as I'd said above, there's no real depth or anything, and I also didn't even really find any of it funny. The actual writing is done well though. Just not the plot or concept.

@TheSilentChloey I didn't enjoy this one either. Too much Grima again. It doesn't feel like he belongs here either this time because he doesn't fit the theme. He's just there. I feel like you could swap him out for any other character that's close to your summoner and it wouldn't be much different, save for going to the private quarters. Which could've easily been changed without changing the plot or focus as well. I just think you should have used a different character to focus on than the one you've done a million times already and one that fits the theme more. However, again, the writing quality is good. You've improved there.

Since I didn't enjoy either story, I won't be voting. Can't vote for something I don't like.

 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

8 hours ago, Anacybele said:

What is it people see in stories that are just pure comedy and jokes like Shob's entry in this round? I never care for stories like these because they lack any real depth or seriousness or plot. They're just like giant memes the way I see it. Even if some of the jokes might be funny. It's also why I do not care for a lot of modern cartoons, they seem to just focus more on dumb jokes (and also hideous art styles a lot), than coming up with cool plots and characters.

Maybe because this contest doesn't center on "make a long serious plot", it's "write something that fits this prompt". One thing I've noticed is that your entries seem to operate on the assumption that it's the former. I won with Double Teach, and it was the first time I didn't try to make a serious plot, I just went with the flow.

I will agree with you on modern cartoons though.

[TheSilentChloey]

8 hours ago, Anacybele said:

I see. That's understandable, I've been writing my entries a little later than usual because of other busy stuff too.

This reminds me though. What is it people see in stories that are just pure comedy and jokes like Shob's entry in this round? I never care for stories like these because they lack any real depth or seriousness or plot. They're just like giant memes the way I see it. Even if some of the jokes might be funny. It's also why I do not care for a lot of modern cartoons, they seem to just focus more on dumb jokes (and also hideous art styles a lot), than coming up with cool plots and characters.

And that brings me to my critique. Done fast this time because of how few entries we got in this round.

@Shoblongoo This...was not my cup of tea at all, honestly. The concept is interesting, but as I'd said above, there's no real depth or anything, and I also didn't even really find any of it funny. The actual writing is done well though. Just not the plot or concept.

@TheSilentChloey I didn't enjoy this one either. Too much Grima again. It doesn't feel like he belongs here either this time because he doesn't fit the theme. He's just there. I feel like you could swap him out for any other character that's close to your summoner and it wouldn't be much different, save for going to the private quarters. Which could've easily been changed without changing the plot or focus as well. I just think you should have used a different character to focus on than the one you've done a million times already and one that fits the theme more. However, again, the writing quality is good. You've improved there.

Since I didn't enjoy either story, I won't be voting. Can't vote for something I don't like.

 

Wow that's an arbitrary reason.  Especially since you're being quite rude about it to boot.  Oh you might not think you were being rude, but you were.

 

That said I didn't enjoy anything this round either-

I can't stand memes and Ana, your entry could have done without the massive word count, but that's just old and repeated beyond necessary.

I'm still voting for Shob though, since while it is memey, it probably fits the theme.  Considering I skimmed through both entries.

[Dragoncat]

1 minute ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Wow that's an arbitrary reason.

Just like you docking points for not liking a pairing is an arbitrary reason, to be completely honest. Which you have done.

If you can get tired of 3H or dock points for not liking Frederick or Severa or etc, then we can get tired of Grima. It's fair.

[TheSilentChloey]

1 minute ago, Dragoncat said:

Just like you docking points for not liking a pairing is an arbitrary reason, to be completely honest. Which you have done.

If you can get tired of 3H or dock points for not liking Frederick or Severa or etc, then we can get tired of Grima. It's fair.

Who said I actively docked points? And if I did, probably because it wasn't to my taste, though I tend to go out of my way to not actively penalise a piece, not like that.

[Anacybele]

Just now, Dragoncat said:

If you can get tired of 3H or dock points for not liking Frederick or Severa or etc, then we can get tired of Grima. It's fair.

Pretty much.

Also, my word count is not breaking the rules, so there's nothing wrong with it.

8 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Maybe because this contest doesn't center on "make a long serious plot", it's "write something that fits this prompt". One thing I've noticed is that your entries seem to operate on the assumption that it's the former. I won with Double Teach, and it was the first time I didn't try to make a serious plot, I just went with the flow.

I will agree with you on modern cartoons though.

I didn't mean the contest has to center on one thing or another. But it IS a contest where people vote for what they like best and I will just always be confused at why an entry like Shob's current one is liked.

Yours still had somewhat of a plot though, more than Shob's entry did here.

[TheSilentChloey]

7 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Pretty much.

Also, my word count is not breaking the rules, so there's nothing wrong with it.

I didn't mean the contest has to center on one thing or another. But it IS a contest where people vote for what they like best and I will just always be confused at why an entry like Shob's current one is liked.

Yours still had somewhat of a plot though, more than Shob's entry did here.

Except for the fact you have the reader having to wade through it to get to the point of your story, which need I mention is never a good thing unless it's for multi chapter stories which give you more space to work with a given theme.

[Anacybele]

3 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

Except for the fact you have the reader having to wade through it to get to the point of your story, which need I mention is never a good thing unless it's for multi chapter stories which give you more space to work with a given theme.

How you feel is not how other people feel. Other people might not have felt that they needed to "wade through it." Also, you were VERY fucking wrong about my entry not fitting the theme. If you weren't lazy and actually READ my piece instead of skimming it, you would have seen the scenes where blueberry cheesecake was being cooked.

I don't have to cater everything to your preferences and you don't speak for other people.

Edited April 26, 2020 by Anacybele

[TheSilentChloey]

Just now, Anacybele said:

How you feel is not how other people feel. Other people might not have felt that they needed to "wade through it." Also, you were VERY fucking wrong about my entry not fitting the theme. If you weren't lazy and actually READ my piece instead of skimming it, you would have seen the scenes where blueberry cheesecake was being cooked.

I don't have to cater everything to your preferences and you don't speak for other people.

Oh I saw it thank you very much.  And drop the swearing Ana, I did not swear at you at any point in this discussion and you have no reason to act like a child, because swearing is entirely unnecessary.

 

All I'm saying is bare in mind that for this specific area, you need to make the work more easier to read through.  Shorter for this contest is better- that's not to say yours is bad, all I said was that it was long and difficult to read through.