Wyatt's Adventure in Pokemon Adventure - Red Chapter

[Darros]

Hey everyone! Remember in like 2014 when I started like 234092 projects (I counted them, a painstaking effort) and finished precisely zero of them? No? Good. I'd prefer we leave that in the past (and if the answer is yes my apologies and please never bring it up again thank you). I've kind of got out of the trying anything creative ever scene since then and have been more or less enjoying games by myself but there are a few problems with that I've run into:

1) Buying way too many games and never committing to finishing, or hell, starting, them.

2) Spending way too many hours in a game doing monotonous tasks to no real goal or replaying games.

 

Case in point:

 

Now it's not that I haven't been having any fun playing Stardew Valley, and I still want to go for 100% achievements (because I obviously hate myself and don't value my time) but this is extremely excessive by my standards and I could be using the time more effectively. Like by working on school work or applying for jobs or trying to entertain friends and strangers on the internet through a web forum. Clearly the latter idea is the best one so I'm going to do that.

Two weeks ago I had a cancer scare which shook me up a lot. I went in for blood screening on Friday and everything turned up negative, which is absolutely fantastic and I'm very thankful that I don't have to worry about my health more or less continuously anymore, but my mental health suffered a lot as a result and I've been thinking about a lot since then. I obviously enjoy video games, but they've been kind of taking over my life a lot lately, and I have to seriously address the two points I mentioned above. And I think a good way to do that is to make some kind of content thread. At best, I'll be regularly outputting fairly humorous content (aiming for twice a week to start) for people to enjoy. At worst, this will be a review thread where "this sure is happening all right" where I post every other week. I want to be realistic and address that sometimes life, via school work or my physical/mental health, can and does get in the way. I'm going to try to stick to something regular as best I can - no more unfinished progress, but it's a pre-warning in case things do get boring from time to time.

Enough preamble though, I'm here to entertain, not depress everybody. One of my friends posted in a discord server that I'm in earlier this peculiar screenshot, in a tweet.

The tweet OP seemed disgruntled but honestly, I ugly laughed. This is high art and if you disagree you are unfortunately incorrect. I was intrigued, so I found the source (slow link for some reason), downloaded it, and played the first little bit of it.

 

It was kind of bad.

Like the writing is kind of weird and the player character is kind of annoying but hey, misery makes great company and I think that a bad game can me more entertaining to write about than an acclaimed one. Also, Geodudes. So it can't be entirely awful. I didn't get far into it, so this is by and large going to be a BLIND playthrough. Which comes with its own challenges. I tend to be fairly grindy when it comes to playing Pokemon, and I won't be making an exception for this hack. I'm not going to grind up to super high levels just to beat the game, but I found myself a few levels below even the wild Pokemon by the time I reached the third route. I'll be trying to keep myself around parity and won't be documenting grinding, unless anything completely ridiculous happens.

So, let's get to it, I guess.

 

Spoiler

The intro really is some whole other bullshit. You can tell this hack's plot is going to go somewhere huge, which really doesn't give me much hope for it! But that's what makes it fun! We're quickly introduced to a series of familiar faces, plus someone who fainted and a Wicked Woman with headwear that wouldn't look out of place at a Royal Wedding.

Two sentences in and we're already talking mad shit about legendary Pokemon. Honestly I don't remember much about Deoxys other than it kicked the shit out of me at the end of Omega Ruby and that I caught one in Pokemon GO at a EX raid recently. Something tells me this game is more inclined towards the former.

This is actually a typo - it's supposed to be Entitty Two. Because there are two titty.

Titties? Incredible Strength? Not free? Honestly this is entirely confirming my correct theory. #freethenipple

Literally the next thing that happens is the screen goes black and everyone screams:

Ah yes, my homie from Pokemon Gold: Boy with Red Hair. I mean to be fair when I was like six or so and playing the first time and he said "My name is ???" I took him seriously and put in "???" as his name when the cop asked me, never knowing that was how you name your rival. I kept fighting "Trainer ???" the rest of the game and thought it was a totally normal thing!

This woman continues being insane.

Two line text is 100% going to be the death of me. Speaking of death:

This emoji looks like hot garbage on a light background but I made it (for discord and no I will not acknowledge light theme) eons ago and this is an extremely appropriate use.

I think they might be actually dead for real though.

And my home slice is here?

And Oak? (Who is wildly out of character in this game, by the way. More on that to come..)

And then it cuts!! That's it folks, that's the game!

 

Just kidding, we actually get to play for real next time. And by we, I mean me, of course.

So that's that. I'm going to get started on a new project, and I'm kind of excited! At the bare minimum I'll try to upload every second Monday, but I'm going to aim for Mondays and Thursdays for the time being, or more often if motivation strikes. Please post anything you want in the thread, I love interacting with people and don't want to feel like I'm talking to a wall. Also huge shoutout to Integrity for basically showing me how to use the forums again. I've been bare effort posting lately and didn't know how images or spoiler tags even worked in this editor. I guess that makes me old or whatever.

 

A Preview of Things to Come:

 

[Laura]

you really had to dox us like........................ smh

[Integrity]

3 minutes ago, Darros said:

Also huge shoutout to Integrity for basically showing me how to use the forums again.

shut up nerd

[Darros]

2 minutes ago, Laura said:

you really had to dox us like........................ smh

......smh my joja file has 150% more hours than our shared file. around 60 and counting

1 minute ago, Integrity said:

shut up nerd

im incapable <3

[Laura]

1 minute ago, Darros said:

......smh my joja file has 150% more hours than our shared file. around 60 and counting

thats because u are a cisgendered update, bitch

[Darros]

10 minutes ago, Laura said:

thats because u are a cisgendered update, bitch

Yes and speaking of cisgendered updates, have one:

I'm kind of in the mood to actually play the game beyond some reading tonight so I'm going to do some more.

Spoiler

We begin our tale in Ancient History...

 

Ancient History as in I was thirteen and I would like to think of it as such. That's also the age I joined Serenes Forest Forums which is absolutely nuts. If you remember how I acted in that day and age kindly treat yourself to some brain bleach or at least acknowledge my personal growth.

Honestly having Pokemon the games be canon in a Pokemon universe is weird as hell, it'd be like playing Real Life Simulator: The Game! On the surface that sounds zero fun but on the other hand my hours in Stardew Valley speak for themselves so maybe I'm wrong.

Of course mom comes in and tells us to stop being lazy as hell and go play outside:

 

Fun Fact: I originally thought Mayla was a made up name but it's actually Olivia from Alola's name in the German and Spanish versions. Or you could just read Urban Dictionary:

 

Thank you Mr. Uchiha. Also thank you for using the n-word which I had to censor out. You were so close to making a hit, man. Thankfully, because censorship is sometimes good, we have Arden instead. You're welcome.

One short bitching fest later (because it should be 'young boy', obviously) and we have a name:

There's simply no one more inspirational.

So this game features a real time clock, and our mother wants us out at nearly 10 PM to go play outside and stop playing video games. I get you can't program shit in to force you to start playing during the day but this seems more than a little sketchy. I'd like to think she has our best interests at heart, but I think she just wants to yeet us out of the house.

 

And we have to actually commit to it, too. Damnit.

Well, it's a brand new world out there. Let's see where we can go.

Not here.

Nope.

It's a no here too.

There's even one unguarded house I can't enter. Truly a thrilling prologue this is! No one says anything interesting here but at least it isn't edgy like that prologue was.

Come on. This is annoying. I can't even leave, but that's to be expected. The left turns me around because I don't have a Pokemon with me and there's grass that way.

Thankfully, it doesn't take too long to figure out what to do (with the use of a fast forward button and running around town a lot):

Buddy by down here is extremely easy to miss, but thankfully the town is so small and you can't do anything at all that you're bound to run into him sooner rather than later.

Hillary unfortunately can't speak Poliwag so he resorts to being dumb instead. "Can you repeat yourself in English, please?"

Close enough.

And now we're BFFs. That's right, this is your starter Pokemon. I honestly can't complain, I love the Poliwag family but not having a choice in starter is a little obnoxious I'll admit. The Poliwag gives you a heart and that's the end of the scene, before briefly cutting to Blue leaving town and whatever the hell this is:

Ow, the edge.

The pause before this screen does nothing if you don't press a button. I thought it hung, but was rather looking for an input. Not cool.

But that's the end of that, I guess.

Maybe by playing I meant a bit more walking around Pallet Town, but we are going places eventually. Wild places. Soon.

 

A Preview of Things to Come:

There's no fucking way this is kosher, but you know what? I'm here for it.

[MacLovin]

1 hour ago, Darros said:

Hey everyone! Remember in like 2014 when I started like 234092 projects (I counted them, a painstaking effort) and finished precisely zero of them? No? Good. I'd prefer we leave that in the past (and if the answer is yes my apologies and please never bring it up again thank you).

 

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

 

[Dayni]

6 hours ago, Darros said:

I think I died a little there.

I'd heard this happened, but I hadn't read much further than past GSC.

5 hours ago, Darros said:

There's simply no one more inspirational.

How Hillarious.

5 hours ago, Darros said:

I'd like to think she has our best interests at heart, but I think she just wants to yeet us out of the house.

Isn't it true that all parents feel an urge to get their kids exploring the world around them in the wider Pokéverse? Maybe it's a biological response.

I have a feeling someone who researched that could have the makings of a professor.

5 hours ago, Darros said:

Hillary unfortunately can't speak Poliwag so he resorts to being dumb instead. "Can you repeat yourself in English, please?"

Close enough.

"Emoticons. Now those I can understand!"

5 hours ago, Darros said:

Ow, the edge.

I don't remember Pokespe being this violent to people this early on.

[Darros]

10 hours ago, The Chad Sharpy said:

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Well that's just to be expected!

4 hours ago, Dayni said:

I'd heard this happened, but I hadn't read much further than past GSC.

I don't remember Pokespe being this violent to people this early on.

Honestly I haven't read the manga - so I'm not sure how much of this is going with canon or is just being written off the wall, but I feel like this is a bit edgier than what's canon? Or at least the medium presents it as such because it's a lot harder to shove a heavy plot into a Pokemon ROM hack than a manga series.

Quote

Isn't it true that all parents feel an urge to get their kids exploring the world around them in the wider Pokéverse? Maybe it's a biological response.

I have a feeling someone who researched that could have the makings of a professor.

I would actually really like the mainline games to address this directly at some point, even if it's just a couple of lines. There don't tend to be many 11/12 year olds by the time you get to the endgames by Victory Road!

[lightcosmo]

Good luck with this! I personally have bad experiences with this mod, so i'm not too fond of it. But i'll enjoy this playthrough nonetheless.

[Darros]

On 5/21/2019 at 9:40 AM, lightcosmo said:

Good luck with this! I personally have bad experiences with this mod, so i'm not too fond of it. But i'll enjoy this playthrough nonetheless.

Honestly that's kind of what I fear but hey nothing like starting a thread for commitment, right?

 

It's Friday night and I ate an entire box of Oreos because I ain't feeling so hot, so let's try and do something (pseudo)productive to turn that around! And maybe actually have a Pokemon battle.

Spoiler

Okay, so either we're still five years in the past or there's already a plot hole at the end of the prologue. Since this is blind I'm going to optimistically assume the former but I'll be wary, just in case.

Honestly this sprite gives me a bad vibe - it's not bad but it almost reminds me of when someone makes an image transparent but doesn't catch the weird semi-transparent pixels around the edge of the photo and it just looks weird against backgrounds of certain varieties.

This is infinitely worse. Thankfully we're interrupted by a kerfuffle down the road to distract me from whatever sprite this is

This is the cheesiest fucking thing and I hate it.

Looks like my player avatar agrees though, Kelly is, in fact, a loser. We're told we have to help her and every direction sends you back, but you can talk to the NPCs in the area at least.

Pff.

No one else says anything interesting though.

This bitch has never heard of save states.

Or me, apparently, despite living in the same town and having a Poliwag for 5 years. No wonder Hillary laughed at her for being dumb.

I naturally give my buddy the best name, and now we start a

Battle? This is what I alluded to last time but there's no way this is legitimate.

Two things:

one what the fuck

two when you inflict a status condition it does a weird graphical glitch and shows that box beside the HP bar. Given our starter Pokemon is one I actually like and it knows hypnosis, we'll be seeing that a fair amount. This battle is piss easy, though.

A brief prattle later and Kelly thanks us, heals AQUAMAN, and the player decides that we have to train more

But naturally the game lets you walk around the town first so we do that instead. First stop: home, obviously.

IS THIS A JOKE.

What cruel world won't allow me to play Minecraft whenever the hell I want? (disclaimer: I've never played Minecraft, I'm a Terraria person.)

That question is quickly answered by making me witness this exchange:

I might start a tally of interactions I wish I could unread due to cringe because this one right here teleported me right back to 2010. I'll call them Cringy Rhetoric from Awful Plot, or CRAPs for short.

What? This isn't nearly as edgy as anything I've read in the prologue but also what? I'll admit I'm cherry picking a bit because some of the conversations are just... mundane as fuck but this is wild for 10 minutes into the game.

And apparently Oak has a reputation.

 

Sometimes this brand of humor is good but I don't think it fits here so we're going to increase the CRAP tally to 2. And frankly I've had enough cheesiness (but thankfully we're running out of interactions) so we'll get back on the plot.

It's uh. Stuff is happening? He makes some threat, calls us a maggot, and leaves.

I'm pretending this cuts off here but honestly even though the next word is trainer it proves that Hillary is completely brainless.

And now we start fighting! But honestly, detailing fights is going to be 0% entertaining unless anything interesting happened (spoiler: it didn't) so I think it's easiest to use ~summary tables~ for the time being since some people (me) like numbers.

Team Rocket GRUNT
Pokemon     Level     Notes
Zubat       LV 5      Supersonic can suck my dick
Sandshew    LV 5      Rain boost makes this guy a joke

Team Rocket GRUNT
Ekans       LV 5

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move
AQUAMAN  / Poliwhirl /   9 / 033 / 018 / 018 / 016 / 016 / 018 / Pound,Bubble,Hypnosis

Nothing particularly exciting happens other than some levels for AQUAMAN.

And of course this game decides to remind us that its a Rom Hack IMMEDIATELY by introducing Mew as soon as they possibly can. It's standard procedure.

You know, Pokemon has some interesting scale. I wouldn't think that this grunt is very far from where Hillary loudly just spoke to himself (even though it was just shown that he doesn't have to speak out loud) and totally would be able to see and hear that, but there are a lot of trees in the way so maybe not.

Some more adventuring and we find our friend again.

 

Why don't we know Blue's name? There are like three fucking houses in Pallet town! We know his sister and his grandfather! Why is he "???"? That's Silver's name!

I can't believe this. But like every other battle so far there's only one way to handle it:

We knock it down to zero HP, get a pittance of EXP, and then.. get kicked?

No? Because we defeated it?

By a level 5 I knocked to zero HP? I'm with Hillary for once. Then Mr. Guy gets preachy:

If you have any clue what the hell this is supposed to mean please let me know because this sounds like some wildly undecipherable "oh yeah i took phil101" bullshit. people die when they are killed, other than Mew, apparently. Hillary than sulks again but it wasn't worth including.

If I can accept relatively the same thing from every mainline Pokemon game, maybe I should do so for the hack too, but we'll treat this as a separate Entity.

 

A Preview of Things to Come:

I can't believe my own strategy got used against me.

[Dayni]

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Honestly this sprite gives me a bad vibe - it's not bad but it almost reminds me of when someone makes an image transparent but doesn't catch the weird semi-transparent pixels around the edge of the photo and it just looks weird against backgrounds of certain varieties.

I mean, it could be worse.

I can't seem to find these loose pixels.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

This is the cheesiest fucking thing and I hate it.

Just how bad she is at this?

6 hours ago, Darros said:

This bitch has never heard of save states.

Or bothering to actually learn how to catch.

Maybe Let's Go would help her?

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Or me, apparently, despite living in the same town and having a Poliwag for 5 years. No wonder Hillary laughed at her for being dumb.

Maybe she's new?

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Two things:

one what the fuck

two when you inflict a status condition it does a weird graphical glitch and shows that box beside the HP bar. Given our starter Pokemon is one I actually like and it knows hypnosis, we'll be seeing that a fair amount. This battle is piss easy, though.

I mean, they must have not accounted for it changing and fixed it beforehand.

I don't remember this being an issue in the main games is all I'm saying.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

I might start a tally of interactions I wish I could unread due to cringe because this one right here teleported me right back to 2010. I'll call them Cringy Rhetoric from Awful Plot, or CRAPs for short.

So this hack's a Crapshoot?

Oh no.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Sometimes this brand of humor is good but I don't think it fits here so we're going to increase the CRAP tally to 2. And frankly I've had enough cheesiness (but thankfully we're running out of interactions) so we'll get back on the plot.

The real star of the crapshow here's that portrait.

That's just terrible.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

I'm pretending this cuts off here but honestly even though the next word is trainer it proves that Hillary is completely brainless.

Guy with pokeballs is pokemon.

Guygy confirmed for Sword/Shield?

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Team Rocket GRUNT
Pokemon     Level     Notes
Zubat       LV 5      Supersonic can suck my dick
Sandshew    LV 5      Rain boost makes this guy a joke

Team Rocket GRUNT
Ekans       LV 5

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move
AQUAMAN  / Poliwhirl /   9 / 033 / 018 / 018 / 016 / 016 / 018 / Pound,Bubble,Hypnosis

Nothing particularly exciting happens other than some levels for AQUAMAN.

How'd you do that?

Asking for possible relevance in future.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

Why don't we know Blue's name? There are like three fucking houses in Pallet town! We know his sister and his grandfather! Why is he "???"? That's Silver's name!

I mean, they have to let you name him Buttz.

Or wait, was that Silver's?

6 hours ago, Darros said:

We knock it down to zero HP, get a pittance of EXP, and then.. get kicked?

They could have just made the fight unwinnable though.

6 hours ago, Darros said:

If you have any clue what the hell this is supposed to mean please let me know because this sounds like some wildly undecipherable "oh yeah i took phil101" bullshit. people die when they are killed, other than Mew, apparently. Hillary than sulks again but it wasn't worth including.

It sounds to me like he's trying to say "You can't overcome what you don't know." or something.

Still sounds like some fake philosophy shit.

[lightcosmo]

10 hours ago, Darros said:

Honestly that's kind of what I fear but hey nothing like starting a thread for commitment, right?

 

I can't say I didn't enjoy some aspects, but getting to certain places feels like a drag and some of the battles are questionably irritating. Also, using the wrong emulator and having to start over a few times was saddening. But I appreciate the cosmetics changes such as EV's and stuff displayed, so it's not all bad! Also, Pika with Bulbasaurs cry is annoying. And I almost forgot about the writing! That's pretty bad too, sadly.

Edited May 25, 2019 by lightcosmo

[MacLovin]

if this goes like the manga, you're gonna fucking looooooooooooooooooove the safari zone and ghost tower.

[Eltosian Kadath]

On 5/24/2019 at 7:39 PM, Darros said:

I was going to make a snarky comment about Daisy Oak not having a unique sprite in the original, but what I expected to be a quick fact check is showing some indications that she might have a unique overworld sprite, in a game where most of the gym leaders don't. Is anyone here knowledgeable enough about Red/Blue able to confirm or deny her having a unique overworld sprite?

 

On 5/24/2019 at 7:39 PM, Darros said:



The hackmaker is clearly a fan of pokemon trivia, as they are referencing the type that is generally believed to have been replaced by flying type in the final version. Due to laziness it was still partially implemented in the Red/Blue code, and the most famous family of glitch pokemon ended up dredging this type up while interpreting trainer data as pokemon data (the field that would correspond to the first type in a  pokemon was the pokemon id number for a trainer's Voltorb, or 0x06).

[Darros]

On 5/25/2019 at 6:06 AM, Dayni said:

I mean, it could be worse.

I can't seem to find these loose pixels.

It's more that it's on the inside? It doesn't look very clean is what I'm getting at but I wasn't able to describe it well. Maybe I'll throw on a filter on VBA.

Quote

Just how bad she is at this?

Or bothering to actually learn how to catch.

Maybe Let's Go would help her?

Maybe she's new?

This is true!! I forgot you don't actually weaken Pokemon first in that game.

On 5/25/2019 at 9:21 AM, lightcosmo said:

I can't say I didn't enjoy some aspects, but getting to certain places feels like a drag and some of the battles are questionably irritating. Also, using the wrong emulator and having to start over a few times was saddening. But I appreciate the cosmetics changes such as EV's and stuff displayed, so it's not all bad! Also, Pika with Bulbasaurs cry is annoying. And I almost forgot about the writing! That's pretty bad too, sadly.

That's fair, and sounds insanely frustrating. I hope I'm not in for that! I do like the cosmetic changes and any hack that includes modern QoL features like those does get a point in my book. It's easy stuff to forget about.

On 5/26/2019 at 5:43 PM, The Chad Sharpy said:

if this goes like the manga, you're gonna fucking looooooooooooooooooove the safari zone and ghost tower.

Yeep. Can't wait.

On 5/27/2019 at 8:54 AM, Eltosian Kadath said:

I was going to make a snarky comment about Daisy Oak not having a unique sprite in the original, but what I expected to be a quick fact check is showing some indications that she might have a unique overworld sprite, in a game where most of the gym leaders don't. Is anyone here knowledgeable enough about Red/Blue able to confirm or deny her having a unique overworld sprite?

 

The hackmaker is clearly a fan of pokemon trivia, as they are referencing the type that is generally believed to have been replaced by flying type in the final version. Due to laziness it was still partially implemented in the Red/Blue code, and the most famous family of glitch pokemon ended up dredging this type up while interpreting trainer data as pokemon data (the field that would correspond to the first type in a  pokemon was the pokemon id number for a trainer's Voltorb, or 0x06).

Huh, I actually haven't been able to confirm/deny on Google and I don't feel like playing again. Maybe I'll ask Reddit later.

I'm not sure it's that clear of a reference, honestly. I know about this and a number of other glitches in Red/Blue but there's nothing obvious that says this is a reference, so it falls flat. Calling someone a noob in person is extremely 2009 though.

 

So, it was Monday and I already more or less forgot to update - but thankfully can commit to just doing it one day later. Falling off schedule immediately is kind of the opposite of good, but we're going to plough through and today will be sufficient!

 

Spoiler

Let's get started! No time skip this time so we don't know how much time has passed. Absolutely no one seems to give a shit that we saw Mew. Also, this screen spells Pokemon without an é! Which is fine normally, but a disgracé in a Pokemon rom hack!

I'm actually going to assume that it's the next day or something.

Mom absolutely does not give a shit that we aren't feeling well, though.

Oh no, a reputation.

That's right! That's my job as the narrator!

It's at this point where I found a new way to take screenshots and realize, upon uploading them, that they're all half size. I'll figure that all out later but enjoy squinting for the time being. The first thing I do of course is disobey mother:

Just to talk to some people and collect items I missed. It's worth it because this chick is talking about Oak:

The topic of discussion is Weedle in the forest but two line text is going to be the death of me. I do get a pretty nice find though.

Now to stop lollygagging:

But not to stop snooping around:

Ah yes I'm going to conduct research on Weedle evolution by taking all of the local population, killing them, and dissecting them. Look, I know Pokemon biology is nonsensical but this is just straight abuse of the scientific method! And also just straight up abuse.

But what's worse?

Porn, apparently.

Oak has some homies on his desk.

Shit he's onto something. But instead of being philosophical, it's time for dumb shit.

Uhhh.

The Pokemon then decide they've had enough of Oak:

And somehow this is my fault.

And now Oak, the guy who thinks I just stole his Pokemon, wants me to go find them for him? I mean I'm happy to actually get to play the damn game but this makes no sense.

Bonus cutscene I missed the first time due to perpetually holding fastforward: sad Squirtle literally pops out of the wall.

Let's catch some Pokemo-

Uh.

This is wrong. I'll just go to my bag and back and it'll fix itself!

I guess I look like this now.

Oak isn't remotely bothered by me splitting in two and growing an arrow though, and honestly neither am I because it bases itself on environment objects, allowing me to find Jigglypuff easily:

So I fight the thing! You don't actually have Poke Balls so "getting them back" = fainting them.

And this Puff decides to be an absolute fucker right out the bat. It thankfully then spams defense curl until I wake up.

This is how much damage using bubble once does. It's a slow back and forth of sleeping each other, but I eke it out, barely.

There's no way I can fight the others in this shape, so I'll sneak off the Pokemon Center.

Which removes the glitch. Lame, but probably important. The other battles are trivial:

Weakness to a STAB move?

2HKO'd.

Oh yeah you did. Spearow is a joke too btw.

But we get something important out of it!! Some levels too, I guess.

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move
AQUAMAN  / Poliwhirl /  11 / 038 / 022 / 020 / 018 / 018 / 022 / Pound,Bubble,Hypnosis,Water Gun

 

After fainting it we're treated to our friend:

Don't worry Hillary, that's not its ability!

So we corner it, not accounting for one small thing:

It can walk directly over people. Please note the NPCs in the background doing jack shit to help us.

Honestly Oak seems to be acting weird af and short sighted - the guy who is definitely a thief who we don't trust who we got to round up our other Pokemon is suddenly not trustworthy. Huh?

But when Hillary words it like that I think I'm on Oak's side.

Pallet town connects only to Viridian. I'm pretty sure that hasn't changed even if all the other routes I've seen so far are very different.

Hillary at least knows that.

Huh? God, this man is a metronome of opinion.

This session was a lot less cringey even if I have complaints about the writing, and we're finally kicking into Do Something mode which is super great! But don't worry, here's A Preview of Things to Come:

 

More CRAPs. Like.... several more CRAPs.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Darros

[Eltosian Kadath]

23 minutes ago, Darros said:

...This edit irks me far more than it should.

29 minutes ago, Darros said:

Its just one of those old trappings of Rpgs that people don't think about, like rooting through peoples possessions (and trash) for loot.

38 minutes ago, Darros said:

 

Japanesu... the cringe is too much.

[lightcosmo]

On 5/28/2019 at 7:30 PM, Darros said:

That's fair, and sounds insanely frustrating. I hope I'm not in for that! I do like the cosmetic changes and any hack that includes modern QoL features like those does get a point in my book. It's easy stuff to forget about.

 

Sorry, I dont mean to sound like i totally disliked the mod, just that it wasn't exactly my style. It's still got quality, at least.

[Darros]

I didn't forget about this thread but the site outage this week was at a pretty inconvenient time for me to update, and I've been dealing with a lot this week. I have an antidepressant now, yay! I'm away for the weekend in a neighboring city, so I won't be posting an update, but I'll throw something together on Monday. Thanks for holding out and I'll get to replying then!

[Dayni]

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

It's at this point where I found a new way to take screenshots and realize, upon uploading them, that they're all half size. I'll figure that all out later but enjoy squinting for the time being. The first thing I do of course is disobey mother:

Because listening to your mother usually gets you thrown out of the house in this world, I kind of get it.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

The topic of discussion is Weedle in the forest but two line text is going to be the death of me. I do get a pretty nice find though.

This screenshot looks like a great reaction image akin to the Fire Nation meme.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Ah yes I'm going to conduct research on Weedle evolution by taking all of the local population, killing them, and dissecting them. Look, I know Pokemon biology is nonsensical but this is just straight abuse of the scientific method! And also just straight up abuse.

It's like, if you really think one of them's going to have a specific organ or something (As stupid as that is), you can likely determine that without dissecting everything.

It's too thorough.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Shit he's onto something. But instead of being philosophical, it's time for dumb shit.

They fight for it?

Only one survives then and take it.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Bonus cutscene I missed the first time due to perpetually holding fastforward: sad Squirtle literally pops out of the wall.

Squirtle when I say my least favourite Gen 1 starter line is.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Oak isn't remotely bothered by me splitting in two and growing an arrow though, and honestly neither am I because it bases itself on environment objects, allowing me to find Jigglypuff easily:

The world just falls apart when it realised what you were about to do:

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

 And this Puff decides to be an absolute fucker right out the bat. It thankfully then spams defense curl until I wake up.

This fight seems like an unfun slog. 

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:



This is how much damage using bubble once does. It's a slow back and forth of sleeping each other, but I eke it out, barely.

It really does.

That's some bad call there.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Oh yeah you did. Spearow is a joke too btw.

I hope that's your edit.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Don't worry Hillary, that's not its ability!

So we corner it, not accounting for one small thing:

It can walk directly over people. Please note the NPCs in the background doing jack shit to help us.

Are we sure it doesn't have Run Away?

On 5/29/2019 at 1:30 AM, Darros said:

Sit-Jay the punk-ass weeaboo.

[Darros]

Thank you for reminding me I have to update... Guess who's been sick with a cold all week! You'd think that would give me more time to update but it's seriously sapped my motivation to do literally anything, but I have prepared something now at least.

On 5/28/2019 at 9:13 PM, Eltosian Kadath said:

Japanesu... the cringe is too much.

Japenesu desu ka, thank you! It's important to be a proper otaku or whatever, according to Sit-jay.

 

On 6/11/2019 at 6:58 PM, Dayni said:

I hope that's your edit.

Are we sure it doesn't have Run Away?

Yes lol that was all me and it has Chlorophyll. I guess it's kind of neat to have that instead of the default but Run Away would've been cool and meta.

 

Without further ado, update!

Spoiler

We're left off here with not much to do other than go North. Naturally, I'm going to talk to every NPC I can and try and keep a tally of CRAPs. Here's the one we already knew about, bringing our tally to 3 so far:

We end up meeting someone sane immediately after though.

And some cool birds. I assume this is relevant to the manga I haven't read?

Cute.

If I recall correctly, the anime has Ash fail to catch a Spearow very early on. The only things I've found on this route though are Pidgey and Rattata, which indicates either my luck is poor or there's a time of day system implemented in the game. In any case, we arrive at our destination:

I mean it was a pretty short path but I think we've talked about weird spacing already.

Still with the blind trust eh.

Also this sign really bothers me:

The lack of capitalization makes it seem so damn uncanny and it's annoying. Let's interview the townsfolk and look for CRAPs - or the Bulbasaur I guess.

Honestly I can give this one a pass because children do act erratically.

I mean I'm pretty sure you can, but I'm not sure you should. I don't know what the consensus on eating Pokemon is.

Wild Theory: Since the game started us off ten years in the past, but then only flashed us forward five years, we're going to see this chick later but also older and relevant. The yellow text and no name gives part of this away.

Damnit, I wanted to catch Pokemon.

Honest marketing!

But now the CRAPs start rolling in.

I'm a Master's student, and I'm getting throwbacks to junior high school. I should check when this game was started:

Okay, so a little out of date, but Twilight was kind of relevant then. Still, CRAP counter: 4. And counting!

Things Real Children Say: "I think this person is such a good role model!" Also a weird dig. CRAPs: 5. In the spirit of Twilight, I'm also going to pull out some retro memes:

I'm starting to get more of a feel of what that "coffee" was in Gen I.

Honestly this one is kind of funny but still very weird and out of place. CRAPs: 6. One more, folks. This one is easily the worst.

I don't know if this is supposed to be extreme virtue signalling or what. It's absolutely out of place though and just bizarre. That brings us to a total of 7 CRAPs, and all before we've caught a single Pokemon. Speaking of:

There are wild Pokemon in this town, which is kind of neat, and they follow the level curve nicely for the time being. This is great for training Aquaman, and an absolute nightmare for catching Pokemon in the forest by Pallet Town. This patch does have Spearow, btw.

Some not helpful but not embarrassing town interactions:

Accidentally political line? You decide!

This one makes me curious though. I wonder just how literate people are about Pokemon in the world of it. You'd think they'd be able to recognize them like animals, but when they're coming up on like 1000 or something you'd think the average joe wouldn't know all of them. And Bulbasaur is canonly rare, not appearing in the wild. That said, neither is Charmander, the clear reference she's making to.

Thank you sir, we'll head right over there.

I do wonder how exactly it got inside, but details.

This Bulbasaur is kind of an asshole to Oak, who kind of deserves it.

And I. Don't know what the hell this is. I'm assuming this is also from the manga? This seems super weird to just throw at us early but whatever. Par for the course at this point.

Oak gets yeeted.

(there isn't sunlight here)

Okay sure let's go I guess! There's only one strategy to start with:

And then do what the game says from there.

Bulbasaur only takes about 2 damage from Low Kick. This fight is very difficult (but doable) with just Poliwhirl. I don't plan on using this Bulbasaur, but I'm not going to torture myself either.

I did briefly experiment with save states though. He says this regardless of how you fight (don't deploy Bulbasaur at all or use moves other than Solar Beam), it's kind of disappointing.

Yes, it was in the me-

Hillary decides to wank his genius around instead, I guess.

I wouldn't believe it either.

Maybe that was my plan, as a Pokemon thief the whole time, since you spent an entire episode calling me that! You've been had, old man!

God I hate this writing. I don't want to make an LP which is just me complaining all the time but this is pretty dumb.

Me making friends by playing Pokemon:

We then get an opportunity to nickname the guy and I have only one idea:

Moving on.

Oak basically replies with some generic babble about being a good trainer and gives us a Dex.

We're then treated to another cryptic cutscene to wrap things up with!

I don't know what this means but I'm sure we'll find out eventually.

Also a STATS UPDATE since I got one level and found the TM for Bulk Up (they are reusable in this game):

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move                              / Ability
AQUAMAN  / Poliwhirl /  12 / 041 / 023 / 022 / 020 / 020 / 024 / Pound,Bulk Up,Hypnosis,Water Gun  / Water Absorb
TROUBLE  / Bulbasaur /  11 / 035 / 013 / 018 / 023 / 021 / 019 / Tackle,Growl,Leech Seed,Solarbeam / Chlorophyll

I'm dumping this Bulbasaur ASAP but it is in my party for the time being so I'll acknowledge it.

I don't have a picture for Things To Come this time but we finally become able to catch Pokemon which is an absolute godsend. Get hyped.

[Darros]

Still sick. Got about half an update finished last night but ended up doing other things instead. I finished it this afternoon though, so have some content!

Spoiler

We leave off exiting the gym, heading back to town, but are stopped by some company.

Oak wants to talk to us first, I wonder what the hell he's been telling our mother.

I guess it's a secret.

Mother herself is heartfelt, I guess.

Shall do, ma'am. Let's walk around the town a bit more and see if anything is new.

On second thought, let's not. That's 8 CRAPs, now, if you're counting along with me. There isn't much new in the area, otherwise, other than one very important detail:

The mart is open

We waste absolutely no time in party recruitment:

And I'm interested in input here, so I bug Smashcord for help:

Tragically though, no one answers right away so I kind of have to find some way to waste time, the thing I was trying to avoid doing, so let's boot up Terraria? Making some art certainly is a good way to pass the time:

Or not. This looks kind of horrific. Note to self: use glass blocks or literally anything that isn't snow blocks next time. By the way, this was an absolute pain to build, given that there's no creative mode and I still have to deal with enemies and the time of day. I even triggered a blood moon, which was great. Looks cute in the minimap though.

I did up getting an answer almost an hour later, in the middle of building:

More important was subjective, but hey I have a giant snow Caterpie in my world now so that's kind of neat.

We can't really do much with a sleeping pokemon though, unless I want to take twice as long by switching in and out.

This isn't a CRAP because it's not cringey but it still 100% classifies as bad writing.

Now let's look at our Caterpie:

Eugh. This isn't a very good ability for training against wild Pokemon, but whatever, I have a speed up button. Like I said, I'm going to grind up to par. The levels near Pallet town range from 3-5, and the next routes are all 8-10. It's very unbalanced.

Woohoo!

It's ability still stinks though. I know it should change at Butterfree. At this point I try to go ahead, thinking maybe I can try to train against stronger Pokemon for better EXP gains.

The game @ me:

I do catch this guy, though.

His sprite glitches in the naming screen, so I give him an appropriate nickname.

Looks like it's fine in menu though? I hope this game isn't too unstable to play long term. Anyway, since our options are either beat up on Pokemon way weaker than us or get our asses kicked, it's back to the grind.

Literally.

We finally make it though,

Only for me to find out I got fucking baited by evolving a Butterfree with a shitty ability!!! Thanks Raven for giving me two names, because I'm not dealing with this.

This is familiar from the actual games, so we should get Compoundeyes (the whole reason I wanted Butterfree in the first place) this time.

And we start it all over again. We can heal at home, too:

So mom can do this but I can't play Minecraft? Being a kid sucks.

Fun fact, there are Spearow in the Pallet Town forest unlike what I said last time when I couldn't spawn any but they're very rare, at least for the time of day which I haven't confirmed yet.

And 10 minutes of grinding later, here we are:

Thank god.

I don't think I'll be posting too many grinding updates if there's no new content (here I at least talked to some people and built a fucking Caterpie in Terraria) other than levelling up and catching Pokemon I have no intent on using, but the Compoundeyes Butterfree will be sticking around for a while. It's a solid "we'll see" on the other two, but I'll keep Biscuit on my team for now given I actually invested into it.

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move                                / Ability
VENONAT  / Butterfree/  10 / 034 / 016 / 020 / 023 / 025 / 019 / Tackle,String Shot,Harden,Confusion / Compoundeyes
AQUAMAN  / Poliwhirl /  12 / 041 / 023 / 022 / 020 / 020 / 024 / Pound,Bulk Up,Hypnosis,Water Gun    / Water Absorb
ALBINO   / Nidoran♂  /  10 / 030 / 014 / 013 / 014 / 015 / 018 / Leer,Peck,Focus Energy,Double Kick  / Poison Point
BISCUIT  / Butterfree/  10 / 032 / 015 / 016 / 027 / 026 / 023 / Tackle,String Shot,Harden,Confusion / Tinted Lens

 

A Picture of Things To Come:

Bees?

[Eltosian Kadath]

4 hours ago, Darros said:

Oak wants to talk to us first, I wonder what the hell he's been telling our mother. 

They are just making arrangements for when you finally move out 😉

(I know its the oldest pokemon joke in the book)

4 hours ago, Darros said:



Or not. This looks kind of horrific.

If you squint it looks fairly good.

On 6/18/2019 at 4:44 PM, Darros said:

Bees?

NOT THE BEES!

 

[Darros]

I just literally made a "gaaaaaahhhh" sound out loud as this posted prematurely when I clicked out. Bear with me as I update the post!

Now it's ready and I don't have to be awkward anymore. Huzzah!

 

Guess what I didn't do on Monday again! Still, we're running with semi-consistency here which I'll take over nothing, tbh. A lot of screens this post, let's hope SF doesn't break.

Spoiler

After leveling up Pokemon, we find ourselves in Viridian again. There's nothing to do here still though, so we'll progress the story this time.

See! Important story progression! Also something something alt-right joke. There are actual people to talk to here though, which of course means more bad dialogue.

This one feels kind of half baked, so I'm not going to call it a CRAP, but it's still far from quality dialogue.

Martha Farkle's return, however, brings the counter to 9.

I'm assuming this is a postgame area.

I.

Ten! It's 10 CRAPs now!

I find a nice gift near this awful text, at least. And with this area exhausted, we'll head eastward to the forest, which moved, apparently.

We're greeted by Daisy, who introduces herself despite us knowing her and speaking to her five years ago in the prologue. Pallet Town ain't that small.

Continuity doesn't exist, however.

You mean I didn't have to buy them? Damn.

Wait what?

This is not a thing I did, or was mentioned. I was given the Pokedex, yes, but it wasn't the same spiel of helping Oak with his research as in the original games. Anyway, she leaves without further input from me and I talk to the NPCs. First up is Agatha.

I have no idea why this hack gives every random NPC a name, but people who we very obviously know don't have names. Every single person playing this game knows that that's Agatha.

And there's another CRAP from the apparently spiteful old woman, bringing us to 11. The other two NPCs just give basic tutorials a la "Poisoned? Use an antidote!"

Finally, something plot related. Also, I want a Dragonair.

But first, a cutscene.

Poliwhirl runs ahead and is attacked by Green's Charmander, but we're quickly distracted by a large friend:

But first,

Mockery!

Anyway, we watch the battle and Hillary gives us thoughts:

It's a baby. Pokemon illiteracy is astoundingly high!

This is ridiculous, he's catching a wild Pokemon, we have no room to interject.

That's right, no going.

So instead we pull the Asshole Move! I kind of hate Hillary.

Honestly, Green's reaction is entirely understandable, but this means I get some long awaited real combat.

Two Pokemon, can't be too hard.

Starts off just as I predicted.

And we quickly replace the shitty Pound with a much better move.

And in due time against this fucker!

Thank god the Charmander decided to only use Growl, otherwise I very well have may been a goner already.

Green fucks off. If you lose the match he says the same thing but you get your Pokemon fully healed. I won though, so instead I get to take a trip.

Thank god for emulator speedup! Makes going back and forth easy!

THE BEES

The way that Viridian Forest is set up is that if you don't have the Cut HM, as I don't, it's really annoying to get around and you have to run through grass. It's kind of artificial and I'm not a huge fan of the design.

But there are trainers, which is very refreshing.

Not overly difficult ones, I may add. His first Pokemon was a Caterpie.

The game lives to deceive though, by throwing me this instead of Butterfree.

I'm not sure if it's placebo, but the side effects of moves seem to activate more in this hack. I can't complain though.

What I can complain about is having to run in and out to heal, but this isn't a thing unique to this hack.

On our way back in I whiff a Poke Ball at a Weedle that I encounter and give it an appropriate name:

The lack of underscore truly is a crime.

I love Aperture Science!

This battle is surprisingly a joke with Ice Beam and, this little move:

Ice Beam is a treat though. It also froze the Beedrill, but it didn't even last for a single turn.

What kind of unfortunate nickname is this?

Unfortunately, he's right. This is after a potion use, and the Paras is only using scratch on me. Poison Point not kicking in would have absolutely destroyed me.

Now, I can see the Kangaskhan, but it's more fun to run around and see and collect everything. There are actually some pleasant normal conversations that I find talking to NPCs!

And also uh, this.

Just walking through grass teaches me all that I'll ever need, though.

With Compoundeyes, I'll essentially never miss.

I also find a nice TM early, but don't use it yet.

Not allowed to leave early yet though, so I'll make a quick trip..

And get to work.

Pretty sure it doesn't speak English, dude.

Called it!

This isn't really an easy fight, but thankfully it's a wild Pokemon. This comes in handy.

So does our new weapon.

But not this weapon!

Confusion really doesn't do much damage though, I'm hoping to get something better on Butterfree sooner rather than later. It keeps spamming Leer and Tail Whip, so I have to take COUNTERMEASURES

Metapod Squad Rise Up

This is from one fucking Bite, this battle isn't a joke (on the 25% chance it selects that move)

Thankfully, this is also a thing.

Clean.

Somehow, kicking the shit out of this Kangaskhan makes it trust us! Friendship!

Yeah Hillary is an asshole, who ignores Green entirely.

bad.

Green is shocked, as if this isn't a normal ass thing that happens in the Pokemon world.

Ah, good ol' ludonarrative dissonance (I had to look this term up).

Brilliant!

Hillary? Crazy? Yes.

Hillary? Not knowing anything? Yes.

So Green is a naturopath, good to know. What's next, crystals which make you stronger?

Well good thing I fucked around in the forest before progressing the story, I know exactly where to go.

It's a selective gift.

It's also a restricted gift.

I mean, at least using a berry to instantly cure poison is internally consistent with the game.

He's right, you know.

This is actually stupid and the fact that it's said to make Hillary look good is ridiculous, because Green was fighting a wild Pokemon to try and catch it, not battle against a trainer.

Green, thankfully, is having none of it.

But Hillary wants to make friends! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Why the ellipses before he runs off? This writing, I swear.

SPEAKING OF

We can't have nice things, here.

Oh shit, it's ninjas.

God damnit did someone piss in the water?

Yes.

And just like that, he's gone. They're all gone in the world too if you run around. This game reeks of "Ow, the edge!" and I'm disappointed because I thought it was starting to take itself seriously. I guess it's a sign - NPCs who don't give ridiculous dialogue are fated to die.

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname  / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move                                 / Ability
VENONAT   / Butterfree/  14 / 043 / 022 / 026 / 031 / 033 / 026 / Tackle,Sleep Powder,Harden,Confusion / Compoundeyes
AQUAMAN   / Poliwhirl /  15 / 049 / 027 / 026 / 023 / 023 / 029 / Ice Beam,Bulk Up,Hypnosis,Water Gun  / Water Absorb
ALBINO    / Nidoran♂  /  12 / 034 / 016 / 015 / 016 / 017 / 020 / Leer,Peck,Focus Energy,Double Kick   / Poison Point
BISCUIT   / Butterfree/  10 / 032 / 015 / 016 / 027 / 026 / 023 / Tackle,String Shot,Harden,Confusion  / Tinted Lens
YEAH…WEED / Weedle    /  07 / 024 / 012 / 009 / 008 / 008 / 010 / Poison Sting,String Shot             / Shield Dust

Probably not going to use this Weedle, but it's in my party so I might as well report on it.

A Picture of Things to Come:

This is a fucking callout post.

 

Edited June 27, 2019 by Darros

[lightcosmo]

22 hours ago, Darros said:

I just literally made a "gaaaaaahhhh" sound out loud as this posted prematurely when I clicked out. Bear with me as I update the post!

Now it's ready and I don't have to be awkward anymore. Huzzah!

 

Guess what I didn't do on Monday again! Still, we're running with semi-consistency here which I'll take over nothing, tbh. A lot of screens this post, let's hope SF doesn't break.

  Hide contents

After leveling up Pokemon, we find ourselves in Viridian again. There's nothing to do here still though, so we'll progress the story this time.

See! Important story progression! Also something something alt-right joke. There are actual people to talk to here though, which of course means more bad dialogue.

This one feels kind of half baked, so I'm not going to call it a CRAP, but it's still far from quality dialogue.

Martha Farkle's return, however, brings the counter to 9.

I'm assuming this is a postgame area.

I.

Ten! It's 10 CRAPs now!

I find a nice gift near this awful text, at least. And with this area exhausted, we'll head eastward to the forest, which moved, apparently.

We're greeted by Daisy, who introduces herself despite us knowing her and speaking to her five years ago in the prologue. Pallet Town ain't that small.

Continuity doesn't exist, however.

You mean I didn't have to buy them? Damn.

Wait what?

This is not a thing I did, or was mentioned. I was given the Pokedex, yes, but it wasn't the same spiel of helping Oak with his research as in the original games. Anyway, she leaves without further input from me and I talk to the NPCs. First up is Agatha.

I have no idea why this hack gives every random NPC a name, but people who we very obviously know don't have names. Every single person playing this game knows that that's Agatha.

And there's another CRAP from the apparently spiteful old woman, bringing us to 11. The other two NPCs just give basic tutorials a la "Poisoned? Use an antidote!"

Finally, something plot related. Also, I want a Dragonair.

But first, a cutscene.

Poliwhirl runs ahead and is attacked by Green's Charmander, but we're quickly distracted by a large friend:

But first,

Mockery!

Anyway, we watch the battle and Hillary gives us thoughts:

It's a baby. Pokemon illiteracy is astoundingly high!

This is ridiculous, he's catching a wild Pokemon, we have no room to interject.

That's right, no going.

So instead we pull the Asshole Move! I kind of hate Hillary.

Honestly, Green's reaction is entirely understandable, but this means I get some long awaited real combat.

Two Pokemon, can't be too hard.

Starts off just as I predicted.

And we quickly replace the shitty Pound with a much better move.

And in due time against this fucker!

Thank god the Charmander decided to only use Growl, otherwise I very well have may been a goner already.

Green fucks off. If you lose the match he says the same thing but you get your Pokemon fully healed. I won though, so instead I get to take a trip.

Thank god for emulator speedup! Makes going back and forth easy!

THE BEES

The way that Viridian Forest is set up is that if you don't have the Cut HM, as I don't, it's really annoying to get around and you have to run through grass. It's kind of artificial and I'm not a huge fan of the design.

But there are trainers, which is very refreshing.

Not overly difficult ones, I may add. His first Pokemon was a Caterpie.

The game lives to deceive though, by throwing me this instead of Butterfree.

I'm not sure if it's placebo, but the side effects of moves seem to activate more in this hack. I can't complain though.

What I can complain about is having to run in and out to heal, but this isn't a thing unique to this hack.

On our way back in I whiff a Poke Ball at a Weedle that I encounter and give it an appropriate name:

The lack of underscore truly is a crime.

I love Aperture Science!

This battle is surprisingly a joke with Ice Beam and, this little move:

Ice Beam is a treat though. It also froze the Beedrill, but it didn't even last for a single turn.

What kind of unfortunate nickname is this?

Unfortunately, he's right. This is after a potion use, and the Paras is only using scratch on me. Poison Point not kicking in would have absolutely destroyed me.

Now, I can see the Kangaskhan, but it's more fun to run around and see and collect everything. There are actually some pleasant normal conversations that I find talking to NPCs!

And also uh, this.

Just walking through grass teaches me all that I'll ever need, though.

With Compoundeyes, I'll essentially never miss.

I also find a nice TM early, but don't use it yet.

Not allowed to leave early yet though, so I'll make a quick trip..

And get to work.

Pretty sure it doesn't speak English, dude.

Called it!

This isn't really an easy fight, but thankfully it's a wild Pokemon. This comes in handy.

So does our new weapon.

But not this weapon!

Confusion really doesn't do much damage though, I'm hoping to get something better on Butterfree sooner rather than later. It keeps spamming Leer and Tail Whip, so I have to take COUNTERMEASURES

Metapod Squad Rise Up

This is from one fucking Bite, this battle isn't a joke (on the 25% chance it selects that move)

Thankfully, this is also a thing.

Clean.

Somehow, kicking the shit out of this Kangaskhan makes it trust us! Friendship!

Yeah Hillary is an asshole, who ignores Green entirely.

bad.

Green is shocked, as if this isn't a normal ass thing that happens in the Pokemon world.

Ah, good ol' ludonarrative dissonance (I had to look this term up).

Brilliant!

Hillary? Crazy? Yes.

Hillary? Not knowing anything? Yes.

So Green is a naturopath, good to know. What's next, crystals which make you stronger?

Well good thing I fucked around in the forest before progressing the story, I know exactly where to go.

It's a selective gift.

It's also a restricted gift.

I mean, at least using a berry to instantly cure poison is internally consistent with the game.

He's right, you know.

This is actually stupid and the fact that it's said to make Hillary look good is ridiculous, because Green was fighting a wild Pokemon to try and catch it, not battle against a trainer.

Green, thankfully, is having none of it.

But Hillary wants to make friends! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Why the ellipses before he runs off? This writing, I swear.

SPEAKING OF

We can't have nice things, here.

Oh shit, it's ninjas.

God damnit did someone piss in the water?

Yes.

And just like that, he's gone. They're all gone in the world too if you run around. This game reeks of "Ow, the edge!" and I'm disappointed because I thought it was starting to take itself seriously. I guess it's a sign - NPCs who don't give ridiculous dialogue are fated to die.

Party Status Post Battle
Nickname  / Pokemon   / LVL / MHP / ATK / DEF / SAK / SDF / SPD / Move                                 / Ability
VENONAT   / Butterfree/  14 / 043 / 022 / 026 / 031 / 033 / 026 / Tackle,Sleep Powder,Harden,Confusion / Compoundeyes
AQUAMAN   / Poliwhirl /  15 / 049 / 027 / 026 / 023 / 023 / 029 / Ice Beam,Bulk Up,Hypnosis,Water Gun  / Water Absorb
ALBINO    / Nidoran♂  /  12 / 034 / 016 / 015 / 016 / 017 / 020 / Leer,Peck,Focus Energy,Double Kick   / Poison Point
BISCUIT   / Butterfree/  10 / 032 / 015 / 016 / 027 / 026 / 023 / Tackle,String Shot,Harden,Confusion  / Tinted Lens
YEAH…WEED / Weedle    /  07 / 024 / 012 / 009 / 008 / 008 / 010 / Poison Sting,String Shot             / Shield Dust

Probably not going to use this Weedle, but it's in my party so I might as well report on it.

A Picture of Things to Come:

This is a fucking callout post.

 

This is an issue I had as well with this hack: the text is so cringe-worthy or just plain out of place completely, although some parts have their moments it's to inconsistent to take seriously. as far as the gameplay is concerned, your advancing way quicker than I was, I struggled a lot a bit after the mid way point, it was mostly my fault for not leveling up, though. Great job on getting this far, look forward to seeing more!