Write parody songs relating to FE.

[The Roger The Paladin]

Well, the name is self explanatory (pick a song, make a parody), so let's get to the game.

Devil Axe Theme Song. (To the tune of Animaniacs theme song)

It's time to use the Devil Axe.
Which kills all that it contacts.
So just ready your replax,
And sign this waiver contract.
Then use the Devil Axe.
Give the axe to Dorcas,
Or in Binding Blade to Lot.
You're in a bind, so you'll find,
It's probably worth a shot.
With luck it won't backfire,
Cause your best stat luck is not
But you picked hard, your chances charred,
It's the only hope you've got.

Now use the Devil axe.
It is cursed,
And your luck lacks.
But you're in trouble that's a fact,
You can't survive another attack,
So you need the Devil Axe.

Meet Roro and Dice who use it by default.
Bandits killed by backfires to add injury to insult.
Equip a demonic weapon, well you're the one at fault.
Yourself you hit, and it's a crit, you're drowning in the salt.

Let's use the Devil Axe.
To avoid becoming vulture snacks.
Common sense we lack and there's a wall against our backs,
So let's use the devil,
Our chances disheveled,
Because we're under-leveled,
We'll use the Devil Axe.
And stop foes in their tracks.

[Anathaco]

This may be the worst thing I've ever written. Oh well.

 

Bench Nino: A parody of Awkward, by Dance Gavin Dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9y0JJfWKIo  Link to the original because I doubt many people on here have heard the song.

Almost there, 

I just finished Battle Before Dawn,

And I got 2 guys who look kinda fun,

Yeah Imma use, Imma use, Imma use, use Nino.

I’ll do my best, I promise to do my best.

I’m gonna raise this unit, I’m gonna raise this unit.

 

No, no, don’t do that,

Est-types are trash,

She may get good stats,

But you should bench Nino,

 

See this fella Pent?

He’s the one you’re meant

To use ‘til the end,

Just please, bench Nino.

Why the hell?

This little kid is so wholesome it hurts,

And her growths look so enticing,

And I don’t care

That she takes way too much XP 

To get off of the ground.

It’s the journey not the start, that counts.

Oh my god, did she just level luck?

 

No, no, don’t do that,

Est-types are trash,

She may get good stats,

But you should bench Nino, (her high growths don’t fix her low base stats)

See this fella Pent?

He’s the one you’re meant

To use ‘til the end,

Just please, bench Nino. (her starting level is 5, oh my god, so low)

 

One point of luck

Then one point of resistance,

You see the futility of trying to level her up?

You’re tryin everything, you even gave her Afa’s Drops,

In the end, not enough, everything gone to waste.

She couldn’t fight her mum

Linus still one rounds her

She said she’ll do her best but man her best is not enough.

Is Nino relevant? Yeah! If you promote her in Heroes.

 

Why the hell?

This little kid is so wholesome it hurts,

And her growths look so enticing,

 

Now every enemy,

Is XP that you use to fix Nino’s flaws

You could have left that kill

For Hector or Jaffar,

But Nino needed it to catch-up

 

Am I a fool to go on?

The joy of a good level up

How can I use anyone but you?

No, no, don’t do that,

Est-types are trash,

She may get good stats,

But you should bench Nino, (her high growths don’t fix her low base stats)

See this fella Pent?

He’s the one you’re meant

To use ‘til the end,

Just please, bench Nino. (her starting level is 5, oh my god, so low)

Edited July 14, 2019 by Anathaco

[DragonFlames]

This seems fun, let me try.
Though I'm neither a good singer nor am I experienced as a song writer, so if this sucks, well... you have been warned.

To the melody of EVO by Wild Child Bound: Raise Your Sword (Theme of Owain)

If you try and be the one
Who will save this dying world
Do not fear
Your friends are always here.

Cry, and let your dream come true
You have the power right in your hands!
Those who hear your voice, will be right there!

Raise the sword to sky, and beware
The world and you might fall into despair
Though your heart and your soul are strong
And you need to act or else everything is lost
To the drake
Whose wrath shall burn the world into ashes
Grab your sword, fight through
Until you feel
The light of hope in your world of peace.

(I used the short version of the song, because no other lyrics came to me at the moment.)

Edited July 14, 2019 by DragonFlames

[The Roger The Paladin]

3 hours ago, Anathaco said:

This may be the worst thing I've ever written. Oh well.

 

Bench Nino: A parody of Awkward, by Dance Gavin Dance.

 

Well, whether or not you're embarrassed, I still got a laugh out of it.
 

 

1 hour ago, DragonFlames said:

This seems fun, let me try.
Though I'm neither a good singer nor am I experienced as a song writer, so if this sucks, well... you have been warned.

To the melody of EVO by Wild Child Bound: Raise Your Sword (Theme of Owain)

Don't worry about experience (besides, the only way to get experience is to try). This is about fun. If you come up with any more, I encourage you to return.

Let's see if I can get another song out.
A House Worth Fighting For. (A girl worth fighting for, from Mulan)

A long time we've been waiting on this game.
For a long time it didn't even have a name.
Our hopes are high, the release is nigh,
We'll buy it at the store.
So Byleth will teach a house worth fighting for (huh?)
Yes that's what I preach. A house worth fighting for.

I want it free from monarchy, with a lord who'll use use a bow.
A female lord's the one for me. Our empire's borders we shall grow.
I couldn't care less about Seiros or my lord's lancing.
I just care who I'm romancing. Mercedes. Annete. Ingrid. MMM.

I bet that you loved the blood in the beginning.
And I bet Nintendo's pull on your wallet is winning.
Yes it's easy to guess what we hope to play in this game's war
What do we want?
A house worth fighting for.
My house will have the best supports.
Characters well designed.
How about a house with supernatural themes?
One where you need to grind?
Nah

My house's route will make you shout "all time greats"
(Only when compared to Fates)
I really hope that Byleth has a sister.
(I think this guy only wants that if he can kiss her)

When the game is released,
Our actions cease,
As our wait comes to an end for sure.
What do we want?
A house worth fighting for.
Hope that I have
A house worth fighting for.
A house worth fighting...

[Saint Rubenio]

THE SHADOW DRAGON EXPERIENCE.

Look up, look up
Don't stab her in the eye
Look up, look up
She's here to save you from death

Now bad unit #24601
Your recruitment is up and your playable career's begun
You know what that means.

Yes, means I'll get trained~

No.
Follow to the letter of your statsheet
This class of shame will show until you die
It warns you're a bad unit.

My luck growth is great~

My strength and defense are also great
I will stop getting doubled-

You'll get doubled again
Unless you learn the meaning of speed.

I know the meaning of those 22 base hitpoints
And that starting level~ of five~

Five chapters in the bench!
The rest sacrificed to get Etzel!
Yes #24601!

My name is Roger the Knight!

And I'm Marth!
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me!
#24601!

Look up, look up
She was always engaged
Look up, look up
Her boyfriend's sending you to your grave

 

[KnightOfNohr]

Awakening's Map Design (to the tune of Fireflies by Owl City)

(Instrumental Opening)

You would not believe your eyes

If ten million enemy guys

All triggered as you walked into range

The fact they all move at once

When you're only in range of one

Is frustrating and really kinda strange

 

I'd like to make myself believe!

That FE13's well made

It's my first game and to this day it's one that I enjoy

But its maps too often make me wanna rage!

 

'Too often do I resort

As I place units into forts

To looking up the reinforcement times ('forcement times...)

A vortex inside my head

One mistake and my healer's dead

Sometimes I just wanna scream out loud and cry

 

I'd like to make myself believe!

That FE13's well made!

It's my first game and to this day it's one that I enjoy!

But its maps too often make me wanna rage!

 

Let me call up the designing team

Let me have someone to hear my screams

Who made the Dancer so easy to kill

And don't start me on Lunatic+ Skills!

 

To ten million enemy guys

I'm weird 'cause I hate AIs

Who fluctuate between dumb and cheap

But at the end it's just a game

Nobody needs to take blame

So I take a break and put the DS on...sleep.

 

I'd like to make myself believe!

That FE13's well made!

It's my first game and to this day it's one that I enjoy!

But its maps too often make me wanna rage!

 

I'd like to make myself believe!

That FE13's well made!

It's my first game and to this day it's one that I enjoy!

But its maps too often make me wanna rage!

 

(I'd like to make myself believe)

(That FE13's well made)

 

There's more where this came from. 🙂

[DragonFlames]

On 7/14/2019 at 1:18 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

Don't worry about experience (besides, the only way to get experience is to try). This is about fun. If you come up with any more, I encourage you to return.

Thank you!

Here's Black Dragon (a.k.a. Ode to Haar) to the melody of Black Diamond by Kiss

Out on the field for a battlin'
Units all may be gone
(My girlfriend...)
Got me under her thumb...

Hit 'em!

Out on the field for a battlin'
Units all may be gone
Jill's day is thoroughly ruined!
Got me under her thumb!

Riding! My Black Dragon!
Riding! My Black Dragon!

My axe will fall onto their heads!
It might just fall on you too!
And though you may scream for pity
There's nothing that you can do, no, no!

Riding! My Black Dragon!
Riding! My Black Dragon!

Out on the field for a battlin'
Units all may be gone
(My girlfriend...)
Jill's day is thoroughly ruined
Got me under her thumb!

Riding! My Black Dragon!
Riding! My Black Dragon!

Edited July 16, 2019 by DragonFlames

[The Roger The Paladin]

1 hour ago, KnightOfNohr said:

Awakening's Map Design (to the tune of Fireflies by Owl City)

(Instrumental Opening)

 

Let me call up the designing team

Let me have someone to hear my screams

Who made the Dancer so easy to kill

And don't start me on Lunatic+ Skills!

 

There's more where this came from. 🙂

That one verse speaks to me. I mean, even more than the rest. Here I am taking poetic license and you accurately describe the games flaws.
 

 

10 minutes ago, DragonFlames said:

Thank you!

Here's Black Dragon (a.k.a. Ode to Haar) to the melody of Black Diamond by Kiss

 

This fits pretty damn well, I must say. Seems funny you were worried about experience.
 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

THE SHADOW DRAGON EXPERIENCE.

Look up, look up
Don't stab her in the eye
Look up, look up
She's here to save you from death

It's bugging me way more than it should that I'm not sure what song you're parodying, but now I feel like you've been holding out. Oh well. See if you can get the (secondary) inspiration for this next song.

Zephiel's folly (to the tune of Oogie Boogie's song from The Nightmare Before Christmas, the extended version of the song as opposed to the one in the movie)

Well, well, well.
What have we here?
The demon dragon?
Ooh. I'm really scared.
So you're the ones Elibe is talking about.

It's over.
It's over.
This boss is super lame.
You're joking me, you got to be.
This can't be how you end the game.
Those statistics. That rangelock.
I don't know know which is worse.
I can kill her before she moves if I don't die laughing first.

When the tactician says the end is close at hand,
Then you better pay attention now, because this run was an ironman
And if you aren't worried, then you must not be able to feel,
Because you go down one round, to the Sword of Seals.

Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh,
Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh,
Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh,
I've just won this Ironman.

Now when I'm feeling antsy, and I think it's worth a shot,
I may go to Bern and kill Zephiel with Lot.
And don't you know the one thing, that'd make my game so nice?
Taking Marcus to the endgame, to add a little spice.

Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh,
Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh, Whoa-oh,
I've just won this Ironman.

Surrender now or you will face dire consequences.
You can't defeat the demon dragon, have you taken leave of your senses?
Ha
It's over.
It's over.
It's time to give this fight away.
The legends of her power, don't match with the gameplay.
It's easy. You're dying.
You're just not strong enough.
And now with your permission, we're gonna do our stuff.
What are you going to do?
We're going to do the best we can.

Oh,
The clang of mythic weapons,
Is music to my ears.
We don't have to preserve uses anymore,
So face your greatest fears.
It's much more fun, I must confess,
With low tiers on the team.
Not yours of course, but mine my foes.
Now isn't that a scream?

Now is not the time to be brave, leave or you will fill a grave.
You dragons.
You're something.
Your situations grim.
You fail to comprehend,
The position, that you're in.
It's over. It's hopeless.
When all is said and done,
When I beat Brunja, I already won.

[DragonFlames]

On 7/16/2019 at 6:35 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

This fits pretty damn well, I must say. Seems funny you were worried about experience.

To be fair, I didn't change the lyrics too much. Also, Black Diamond is a song I know by heart, because I first listened to it when I was very young (my father is a big fan of heavy metal and hard rock, hence my knowledge of such "old" music), so it kinda came naturally. It helps that the original lyrics make no sense when seen as a whole.
I'm also starting to get the hang of this. Though I can't really think of anything at the moment.

 

Edited July 18, 2019 by DragonFlames

[The Roger The Paladin]

A pirate's life is a miserable life (parodying A Pirate's life is a wonderful life from Peter Pan)


A pirate's life is a miserable life.
A class that's treated neglectfully
Why'd I choose this life
of turmoil and strife?
The life of a pirate ends quickly.
Ooh.
The life of a pirate ends quickly.

A pirate's life is a miserable life.
You're never recruited by lords.
No more likely instead,
You lose your head,
Upon their minions swords.
As they come to sack your hoard.
Ooh.
They come to sack your hoard.

Oh a pirate's life is a miserable life.
You'll find our deal is quite raw.
Yes you can bet we're filled regret
Because we're not even used anymore.
Ooh.
We're not even used anymore.

(I'll do a couple longer ones when I have time. I've came up with another two ideas)

[DragonFlames]

So, since I feel a bit inspired today and Three Houses releases on Friday, here's a little something about the difficulties of picking a house.
To the melody of Hot Rockin' by Judas Priest: Three Houses

She's dressed in red
I'm going there
I'm gonna go with those who could fly through the sky
Don't even lie!
Where can I find
The only thing I need to help me to decide?

I wanna join
I wanna join
I wanna join
Black Eagles!

I wanna join
I wanna join
I wanna join
Black Eagles!

A dude in blue
Goes pretty mad
Where is the friendliness he displayed once before?
I see them fight
Who will help me?
I feel my will go towards those who might rebel!

I wanna join
I wanna join
I wanna join
Blue Lions!

I wanna join
I wanna join
I wanna join
Blue Lions!

I'm seeing Claude
Standing in yellow
I suddenly feel like his side is the right side!
I'm almost there
I made my decision!
The other two still have gravitation!
I'm gonna go, don't be that angry!
I'm gonna join, and don't try to stop me!
This should be it, I'm joining the Gold Deer!

Don't let them sway
Don't let them in
At least make up your mind so you'll play with no regrets
I get so hyped
Right off my feet
This is the only way I want, I want, I want, I want!

I wanna play
I wanna play
I wanna play
Three Houses!

I wanna play
I wanna play
I wanna play
Three Houses!

It's all I want
It's all I need
I just want to play Three Houses!

[Punished Dayni]

I've only got a verse, but frankly it has to happen, it's not going away.

The BK Rap (DK's verse):

He's the porter of the bunch,

You know him well,

He's finally back,

To kick some Greil.

(Ike screaming in the background)

His Alondite guns,

can fire in bursts,

If he shoots ya,

It's gonna hurt.

He's bigger, badder

And stronger too,

He's the first member of the BK crew

B K! Bla-ack Knight!

B K! Bla-ack Knight is here!

 

I'm not sure who should be in the other verses.

[The Roger The Paladin]

3 hours ago, Dayni said:

I've only got a verse, but frankly it has to happen, it's not going away.

The BK Rap (DK's verse):

He's the porter of the bunch,

You know him well,

He's finally back,

To kick some Greil.

(Ike screaming in the background)

His Alondite guns,

can fire in bursts,

If he shoots ya,

It's gonna hurt.

He's bigger, badder

And stronger too,

He's the first member of the BK crew

B K! Bla-ack Knight!

B K! Bla-ack Knight is here!

 

I'm not sure who should be in the other verses.

Black Knight was one of the Four Riders of Daein. Throw in Ashnard for a 5th... and you've got a masterpiece.
 

On 7/23/2019 at 7:02 PM, DragonFlames said:

So, since I feel a bit inspired today and Three Houses releases on Friday, here's a little something about the difficulties of picking a house.
To the melody of Hot Rockin' by Judas Priest: Three Houses

Ah yes. When I get far enough into the game, I have an idea that I might be able to flesh out into something that may or may not relate to a 1999 animated film. Just not one that you'd expect from the ones I've used.

Let's try a new one.
I call it "Poor unfortunate scrolls" (A rather fanciful take on Poor Unfortunate Souls)

I admit that in the past I could have used you.
When they called my units weak they sure weren't wrong.
But you will now see, upon getting some EXP,
They've grown into warriors skilled and strong.

And I fortunately have rather good luck,
It's a trait I always have possessed.
And here I can say,
Every time I play,
My units get massively RNG blessed
(athletic)

Poor unfortunate scrolls.
That no one needs.
Each one longing to be used.
But I could use the money more.
Do I sell them? Yes I do.
Yes, it happens once or twice.
I can't afford some, price,
And I have to sell something to reach my cash goals.
Yes, I could something else,
But this one's often the least help.
Oh those poor unfortunate scrolls.

Oh, weapon level raises rather easy.
At least when playing games that aren't Binding Blade.
It's often no real test
Unless you use an Est
Makes these things a little useless when they come late.

C'mon, you'll probably find more use for the money.
And your convoy is probably getting full.
Yes by lategame
These things seem kind of lame.
Give in to that gold's pull.

Come on sell that poor unfortunate scroll.
Come now, sell those things.
They're not very useful and they're just taking up your space.
It's not like they're speed wings

That poor unfortunate scroll.
You just, won't use.
If you want to buy some goods my lord,
you've got to pay the toll.
Give me your goods,
And I'll give you their worth in Gold.
(Hey Jake I've got the sale. Old Anna's on a roll)
With this poor, unfortunate SCROLL.

[DragonFlames]

20 hours ago, The Roger The Paladin said:

Ah yes. When I get far enough into the game, I have an idea that I might be able to flesh out into something that may or may not relate to a 1999 animated film. Just not one that you'd expect from the ones I've used.

That does sound great. I just noticed that the "sky" I put in there, should be "air" so it rhymes. Damn it.

[The Roger The Paladin]

 To the tune of the Arsenic Cake Song from Asterix + Cleopatra, I give you "toxic map design". Original in spoiler tab.
Please note this song isn't actually about any real map... just a hypothetical nightmare map.

Spoiler

 

Ah, the maps even Kaga scrapped as unfair.
Let's see "The mire of madness"
Yes.
"The town of ambushes"
Not bad.
"Status Stave Central"
Hoorah
"Fog of war worse than Thracia's"
Great.
Ah. "All my spite"
Oooh YES!

Take a map with a turn limit,
Throw in some obscure bullshit,
While guarding a green unit,
Who is a self-destructive twit.
(And it's game over if they die)

Throw in Thacia style fog of war,
Make it a desert map to be sure,
Enemy ballista everywhere.
Players will pull out their hair.
Sooo?

Add ambush triggers through the map,
And make it a beginner's trap.
Then so tanks don't feel at home,
Sprinkle in a few siege tomes.
(And sleep and silence staves for luck)

Give the units lots of skills,
That will lead to insta-kills,
Don't even bother to play-test.
Won't glitches go unaddressed?
Sooo?

Villages on the map will be,
Raided by those who conventionally,
Cannot raid a village at all.
The player's trauma won't be small.
(Weren't expecting a Wyvern to raid that were you?)

Give a boss every ability,
That could ever increase agility.
On that throne they'll go untouched.
And all range counter won't be too much.
So.... OOOH YES!
(I knew it'd be a good idea)

Ultra sinful map-design,
Set up to be most unkind,
To players both old and new,
Is what we've set out to do.

Let's
Cause.
RAGE.
Bo-ba-do-bah pretty bad.
YEAH.

[garrisoncade_3576]

"Pumped Up Kicks" Parody relating to Hubert a.k.a. When Someone Calls Edelgard a Bitch

 

Hubert's got a forged Rauðrfox 
He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plan
He's got rolled herbs, hanging out his mouth he's a Mortal Savant
Yeah found a red magic tome
In Edelgard's closet hidden in the convoy, I don't even know what
But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you

All the other kids from the Blue Lions
You'd better run, better run, outrun my tome
All the other kids from the Blue Lions
You'd better run, better run, faster than my flames
All the other kids from the Golden Deer
You'd better run, better run, outrun my tome
All the other kids from the Golden Deer 
You'd better run, better run, faster than my flames

Edie's works a long day
She be coming home late, she's coming home late
And she's bringing me a surprise
'Cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice
I've waited for a long time
Yeah the slight of my hand is now a quick critical hit
I reason with my herbs
And say your hair's on fire, you must have lost your wits, yeah

All the other kids from the Blue Lions
You'd better run, better run, outrun my tome
All the other kids from the Blue Lions
You'd better run, better run, faster than my flames
All the other kids from the Golden Deer
You'd better run, better run, outrun my tome
All the other kids from the Golden Deer 
You'd better run, better run, faster than my flames

[Hawkwing]

Casual or Classic Mode? Based off of A Pirate I Was Meant To Be from The Curse of Monkey Island.

Note that I did change most of the rhymes, and if forums were more interactive you would be able to choose the next verse, but the tune is for the most part the same. Also, Veterans 1, 2, and 3 don't have consistent tune; I just numbered them that way out of convenience:

 

Veteran 1: We hear you're a new player

Veteran 2: Playing the game for the first time.

Veteran 3: If ever find yourself struggling...

Veteran 2: We'll help you on a dime!

 

Player: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

 

Player: Come on, guys! Let's pick a difficulty!

Veteran 1: This momentous decision will determine how fun the game will be.

Veteran 1: Should he ironman it first?

Veteran 2: And the impact of each death can be seen?

Veteran 3: Or should he pick Casual?

Veteran 1: And beat the game at the very least?

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our new friend chose?

 

Player: So how experienced are you guys anyway?

Veteran 1: We've ironmanned enough that our opinions give us some sway.

Veteran 1: We've beat every game in the series.

Veteran 2: Including the ones found only in Japan!

Veteran 3: So pardon us if things seem too easy.

Veteran 2: We've had too much time to plan!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our fair friend chose?

 

Player: All right, guys! Lets make a choice!

Veteran 1: But first on the matter let us give our voice.

Veteran 1: Casual can save you from many bad mistakes.

Veteran 2: But at the same time lets you get away with really poor strategy!

Veteran 3: Meanwhile, Classic mode still allows you to reset

Player: But wasting two hours is quite a tragedy.

Veteran 2: Oh, so you do know what it's like!

Player: Not really, no.

 

Player: Let's skip the song, I want to get a move on!

Veteran 1: Doing a Low Turn run is something you can't count on!

Veteran 1: Sometimes the Jeigan will get crit!

Veteran 3: And the lord cannot be rescued.

Veteran 2: You will hate when you misclick.

Veteran 3: Your run may as well be barbecued!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our quick friend choose?

 

Player: Less singing, more helping!

Veteran 1: Better be aware of what the enemy is equipping!

Veteran 1: Hammers smash your knights

Veteran 2: And Beastslayers kill your horses!

Veteran 3: To leave them in enemy range is none to bright!

Veteran 2: Now join in on the chorus!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our good Friend chose?

 

Player: I'm getting a little tired of your guys and your rhyming!

Veteran 1: Better decide quick, cause the games battery is a-dying!

Veteran 1: The critical animations are awesome!

Veteran 2: Thought the spells range from game to game

Veteran 3: Unfortunately, they drain the power fast!

Veteran 1: Yeah, that is kinda lame!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our curious friend chose?

 

Player: Stop! Stop! Stops!

Veteran 1: Yeah, it's sad to say that some games were kinda financial flops.

Player: You say you're experienced veterans

Player: Beating every game with high rankings

Player: But from what I've seen, that's not true.

Player: You're not ironmanning, just resetting!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one did our old friend chose?

 

Player: I think I'll make the avatars hair color orange.

Veteran 1: And...!

Veteran 1: Uh...

Veteran 3: Door Hinge?

Veteran 2: No, No...

Veteran 3: Guess the songs over, then

Veteran 1: Guess so...

Player: Aw, but I still don't know whether to pick Normal or Hard!

Edited August 24, 2019 by Hawkwing
Added Bold

[The Roger The Paladin]

On 8/25/2019 at 7:27 AM, Hawkwing said:

Casual or Classic Mode? Based off of A Pirate I Was Meant To Be from The Curse of Monkey Island.

Note that I did change most of the rhymes, and if forums were more interactive you would be able to choose the next verse, but the tune is for the most part the same. Also, Veterans 1, 2, and 3 don't have consistent tune; I just numbered them that way out of convenience:

 

Veteran 1: We hear you're a new player

Veteran 2: Playing the game for the first time.

Veteran 3: If ever find yourself struggling...

Veteran 2: We'll help you on a dime!

 

Player: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

 

Player: Come on, guys! Let's pick a difficulty!

Veteran 1: This momentous decision will determine how fun the game will be.

Veteran 1: Should he ironman it first?

Veteran 2: And the impact of each death can be seen?

Veteran 3: Or should he pick Casual?

Veteran 1: And beat the game at the very least?

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our new friend chose?

 

Player: So how experienced are you guys anyway?

Veteran 1: We've ironmanned enough that our opinions give us some sway.

Veteran 1: We've beat every game in the series.

Veteran 2: Including the ones found only in Japan!

Veteran 3: So pardon us if things seem too easy.

Veteran 2: We've had too much time to plan!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our fair friend chose?

 

Player: All right, guys! Lets make a choice!

Veteran 1: But first on the matter let us give our voice.

Veteran 1: Casual can save you from many bad mistakes.

Veteran 2: But at the same time lets you get away with really poor strategy!

Veteran 3: Meanwhile, Classic mode still allows you to reset

Player: But wasting two hours is quite a tragedy.

Veteran 2: Oh, so you do know what it's like!

Player: Not really, no.

 

Player: Let's skip the song, I want to get a move on!

Veteran 1: Doing a Low Turn run is something you can't count on!

Veteran 1: Sometimes the Jeigan will get crit!

Veteran 3: And the lord cannot be rescued.

Veteran 2: You will hate when you misclick.

Veteran 3: Your run may as well be barbecued!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our quick friend choose?

 

Player: Less singing, more helping!

Veteran 1: Better be aware of what the enemy is equipping!

Veteran 1: Hammers smash your knights

Veteran 2: And Beastslayers kill your horses!

Veteran 3: To leave them in enemy range is none to bright!

Veteran 2: Now join in on the chorus!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our good Friend chose?

 

Player: I'm getting a little tired of your guys and your rhyming!

Veteran 1: Better decide quick, cause the games battery is a-dying!

Veteran 1: The critical animations are awesome!

Veteran 2: Thought the spells range from game to game

Veteran 3: Unfortunately, they drain the power fast!

Veteran 1: Yeah, that is kinda lame!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one will our curious friend chose?

 

Player: Stop! Stop! Stops!

Veteran 1: Yeah, it's sad to say that some games were kinda financial flops.

Player: You say you're experienced veterans

Player: Beating every game with high rankings

Player: But from what I've seen, that's not true.

Player: You're not ironmanning, just resetting!

 

All Veterans: Casual or Classic Mode?

All Veterans: Which one did our old friend chose?

 

Player: I think I'll make the avatars hair color orange.

Veteran 1: And...!

Veteran 1: Uh...

Veteran 3: Door Hinge?

Veteran 2: No, No...

Veteran 3: Guess the songs over, then

Veteran 1: Guess so...

Player: Aw, but I still don't know whether to pick Normal or Hard!

The fact they absolutely fail to help at all, is not only brilliantly consistent of the original song, but a lot of "veterans" on the internet. I should know. I'm a veteran of failing to give helpful advice myself.

 

[Dragoncat]

I want to do Roar(Katy Perry) from Dimitri's PoV but I'm drawing a blank on how to change it. The line "You knocked me down but I got up, get ready cause I had enough" fits post timeskip in particular and probably best with Blue Lions route.

Uh...hmm. I guess I can try.

 

I used to be the quiet one
Chill, but stern, I led my house
The Kingdom sent me
As it crumbled

I would never disappoint my folks
Never did, but I couldn't see
Didn't catch the red flags
My fall was brutal

You caught me off guard, you took my eye
My kingdom and my pride
You hear my voice, you think "No way"
Distant thunder, guess what I lived

I'm the one eyed lion, a fighter, charging through the fire, cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR!

Louder! Like a psycho demon! Cause I will take it back! And you're gonna hear me ROAR!

 

Eh. I guess it works.

Edited August 31, 2019 by Dragoncat

[Dragoncat]

Back with another round of crap.

Not One Of Us

Deception
Disgrace
Evil as plain as the scar on his face

Deception (An outrage!)
Disgrace (For shame!)
He asked for trouble the moment he came

Deception (An outrage!)
(He threw his brother down a well, left him to die)
Disgrace (For shame!)
(You know these crestless types)
Evil as plain as the scar on his face
(Goodbye, reject!)
Deception (An outrage!)
(Just go away!)
Disgrace (For shame!)
(Don't touch that Lance of Ruin!)
He asked for trouble the moment he came
(Goodbye, reject!)

 

Not much needed changing here at all. Original song from Lion King 2. Crested nobles singing to/about Miklan but that should be obvious.

[The Roger The Paladin]

So, taking a page out of "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut"... I've sort of re-did "La Resistance". I think I've held this one back long enough that a spoiler tab on Three Houses spoilers is... unnecessary. More so because I've held off on anything substantial. You can more or less figure the singers out from context/colour on each part (except the deliberately vague main singer). Also more swearing than usual because... well, source kind of put me in that mindset I guess.


Sothis has smiled upon you this day.
The sword of the creator in your hands.
And blessed be, the houses three,
Who will fight until the victory,
When only one nation stands.

You bear the Crest of Flames,
You face the Death Knight.
You'll guide those you have trained,
Choose the path that's right.
And though you've lost five years,
And know not what happened in that refrain,
You will find,
Our resistance lives again.

Though your ally is stabbed to death,
With a dagger through the back,
Or if they draw their final breath,
When ambush spawns attack,
Though their life has ended,
They did not die in vain.
Though they're gone,
Our resistance lives again.

Blame that Rhea.
Blame that Rhea
Because of secrets she did hide,
Our lives have gone awry.

Post time-skip.
The land has changed.
Post time-skip.
Evil must be slain.
Edelgard.
You will fall hard.
Post time-skip.

Up there, there's lives so free,
Children play and laugh with glee,
Post time-skip it's plain to see,
The suffering because of me.

I will always hate you,
you bitch Edelgard.
Somehow I'll escape you,
you bitch Edelgard.
My lord you're no use to us if dead,
Dedue I'm gonna have her head.

Why the hell did she start this war?
What is this woman fighting for?
How much longer can this carry on?

I want to end those up there.

When Fodlan is under my control,
I'm gonna kill that Thales asshole.

Though they lure you to the hill,
Post time-skip.
And set your troops aflame,
The land has changed.
You must fight on still,
Post time-skip.
Evil must be slain.
But that's the way it goes.
In war you deal with pain.
And though we die,
I want to end
Our resistance lives again.

[DragonFlames]

The light is dying and I do not belong here
My time has come, please end this all - do it for me
All this time I had thought no one walked beside me
My body won't last, this will be my final wish

There was a time when we worked together toward a most common goal
As time passed on for us all, it was clear we do not agree.
Now we stand face to face as foes, please try your best, do hold nothing back
Dreams end on this field, so fight with all you have.

Now is the time, I will finally have my revenge.
My life so far has led me to this very moment.
Bonds like ours might have saved me from the darkness
Even now their voices cry out "Please, kill them all!"

Friends, please do not forget that we shared a table and celebrated together
But now I see clear as day, you will not just change your ways.
Now we stand face to face as foes, please try your best, do hold nothing back
Dreams end on this field, so fight with all you have.

It was nice being with all of you; It is sad to see it must come this far
But if this is my own path, I won't let you stand in my way...

Tried something cross-language this time, as the song this is based off of is Japanese. It's kind of spoiler-y for Three Houses. Those of you who have played the game might know who is saying what and in which context.
The song in question is this one: 7th Dragon III - 終撃のイグニト feat riya（eufonius）

[The Roger The Paladin]

Decided to go with something. Recently discovered the existence of the rather catchy "Snow Miser/Heat Miser" song from some old TV Christmas special. Couldn't resist doing it up as a song about two particular archetype founding cavs.

I'm mister lance cav,
I'm mister green.
I'm mister top tier,
I'm mister crit machine.

Friends call me Abel,
Whatever I hit,
Is struck with a crit.
Smashed to bits.

He's mister lance cav,
He's mister green.
He's mister top tier,
He's mister crit machine.

Friends call me Abel,
And I have poor luck.
It kind of sucks.
Low percent crits can get f*****.

You never need to worry,
About my availability.
In Normal or in Hard mode,
No one joins Marth earlier than me.

He's mister lance cav,
He's mister green. (that's right)
He's mister top tier.
He's mister crit machine.

My friends call me Abel,
And things aren't the same,
In the next game.
What a shame.
A Shame.

I'm mister sword cav,
I'm mister red.
I'm mister high hp.
I'm mister hothead.

They call me Cain.
Take my advice.
I often strike twice.
It's quite nice.

He's mister sword cav,
He's mister red,
He's mister high HP,
He's mister hothead.

They call me Cain,
But don't be afraid.
I've never betrayed.
Can't be swayed. (thank you)

I never want to be a cav who lacks durability.
With my HP and luck, I can tank hits with ease.
Some like to be sure.
I like to be really sure.

He's mister sword cav,
He's mister red, (Indeed)
He's mister high HP,
He's mister hothead.

They call me Cain.
But whatever I try,
I can't get ranked as high.
Wonder why.
Wonder why.

[DragonFlames]

@The Roger The PaladinThose are some pretty cool lyrics, even if I don't know the song itself. Kudos!

---

Let me tickle everyone's nostalgia for a bit, if you know/liked Digimon. Here's a little homage to the (usually male) main lord in Fire Emblem games to the melody of one of my favorite childhood anime themes, Break Up! by Miyazaki Ayumi, or in this particular case, the German version of the song.

There is a man like him around
and everywhere he goes we see
him killing all sorts of weirdest stuff
What is he doing?
Is he a hunter?
No matter!
He is just o so strong!

He just killed another one
didn't even break a sweat
As he moves on his sword does gleam.
He can be awful
Or maybe friendly
He is our main lord!

No one stops him once he goes on ahead.
Promoting late is his only weakness
Now here he comes!
Get ready for him, he is...

The main lord, here he comes!
He is our main fighter
Everyone else can simply die.
The main lord, here he comes!
The girls will all fall for him!
But he will promote so late!
Promote so late!
He is the main lord!

The main lord, here he comes!
Oops, now someone else died.
His is the blade that will save the world.
The main lord, here he comes!
And even if he's female
He will promote so late!
Promote so late!
He is the main lord!

[Ottservia]

@DragonFlames Ah digimon one of the great franchises that defined my childhood. Here's another digimon song for you. One of the more iconic themes.

A parody of brave heart by Wada Koji.

---

you've been beaten and you're kingdom stolen from you, and your father's dead

and it's got you feeling like there's no hope left

but it's time to cast that aside...

dark clouds unfurled

are now descending upon our bright blue world!

A hero needs to rise!

And the sword has chosen you from its light!

So cast aside the despair you feel!

to take back the kingdom that was lost from you!

There's so much you have yet to be

go on and see

From within, Falchion will soon ignite

and the shield will fill all the world with light

Do not be discouraged, set free your courage

your story's about to start

Show me your brave heart.

---

I didn't change much of the lyrics and I kinda wrote this with marth in mind so there's that. I dunno if it's any good. I do not have it in me to do the full version either.