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Things you're not allowed to do in Garreg Mach


Dragoncat
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Remember these things? You know what to do. One rule: when in doubt, use the spoiler tag.

1: Marijuana smoking is not allowed in the bathrooms. Or in the chapel. Or in the diningĀ hall. Dorms maybe, but keep it to yourself.

2: Whoever keeps putting farm animals in Hanneman's office please stop. It was funny when he tried to check a horse for a crest. It was sad when he tried to check a chicken.

3: The following words and phrases shall no longer be uttered in Seteth's presence because they confuse him: yeet, ebola(if somebody really had that it would be an emergency that required evacuation and quarantine), bye Felicia(there is nobody named Felicia here), bae, about a week ago(unless we are talking about something that happened a week ago, but there will be no singing or dancing involved with this phrase). This list can and will be added to if needed.

Edited by Dragoncat
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53 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said:

Run a Minecraft server.

It's destroying Garreg Mach's bandwidth.

Said Minecraft server, if it wasn'tĀ destroying bandwidth, would still not be allowed because theĀ pooping buttĀ is not school appropriate.

Edited by Dragoncat
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39 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Areļ»æ you kidding? I WANNAļ»æ PET ALL THE KITTIESļ»æ

Unfortunately, you can't pet the kitties in Three Houses.

I wish you could.

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Some of these will be spoilered since theyā€™ll refer to story events in part 1.

-No creation of ā€œmild poisonā€ on monastery grounds. Unless it is for an effort against our enemies. Even in that case, a professor should oversee the creation.

-No tripping othersĀ on monasteryĀ grounds, especially professors. Even if Professor Byleth runs around monastery grounds on some Sundays, it would be a disservice to his effort and effort by any other professor to trip them.

-The name of Seiros should not be used in vain. So, saying such as ā€œOh my godā€ or ā€œOh my goddessā€ are not allowed on monastery grounds. However, Professor Byleth requested that a public apology from him be posted, so it is here.

-As requested by Professor Manuela, the phrase ā€œdummy thickā€ is not allowed on monastery grounds, as it is now classified under sexual harassment.

Spoiler

-As requested by Professor Byleth, any jokes about Lord Lonatoā€™s death are not allowed. Given connections, this is classified under bullying.

Spoiler

-As requested by Professor Byleth and supported by Sir Seteth, no suggestion of Flayn having eloped with another man. There is no such evidence in this case. In general, no one should joke around of such serious happenings as this on campus.

Spoiler

-No making fun of Monica and her failure to graduate last year is condoned or allowed on campus. It is classified under bullying.

-No playing of brass instruments on monastery grounds unless permitted. Last time this happened without permission, it could be ā€œheard from the training groundsā€, as one student said.

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Dimitri it is not by any means cute or hot to last just one minute, snore all night, and crawl out of bed at 7Ā am without a word other than "I need breakfast"

Students are not allowed to add to the rule book with petty gossip! Unrelated: there will be an assembly regarding ethics in student romantic relations on Wednesday and it will have mandatory attendance. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you call in sick you better be dying. Birth control and STD tests will be handed out at the infirmary.

Edited by Dragoncat
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2 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

Students are not allowed to add to the rule book with petty gossip! Unrelated: there will be an assembly regarding ethics in student romantic relations on Wednesday and it will have mandatory attendance. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you call in sick you better be dying. Birth control and STD tests will be handed out at the infirmary.

Now, what is this referring to?

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9 minutes ago, Azure in a Roundabout said:

Now, what is this referring to?

A joke I made on Discord that would get me a warn if I posted it publicly. PMing.

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You are not allowed to hold Edelgard's hand. She is MY waifu.

7 hours ago, Espurrhoodie said:

Unfortunately, you can't ļ»æpet the kitties in Three Houses.

ļ»æ I wish you could.

WHY!!!??? That is so sad.

17 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

A joke I made on Discord that would get me a warn if I posted it publicly. PMing.

8 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said:

I'm curious, too.

Me three. Sounds hawt and steamy.

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Professors must maintain proper food safety protocol! Dropped food must not be eaten! Even if you work in the infirmary. ESPECIALLY if you work in the infirmary.

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28 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said:

You are not allowed to dig into Rhea's secret stash.

Secret stash of what lol.

The next time somebody comes to class in their underwear they are getting detention on sight.

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7 hours ago, Azure in a Roundabout said:

-As requested by Professor Manuela, the phrase ā€œdummy thickā€ is not allowed on monastery grounds, as it is now classified under sexual harassment.

I would have thought she'd like it. Or any attention really given how flirty she is.

-If Sylvain is seen attempting to flirt with Flayn, Seteth is to be notified immediately.
-Annette is not to be left in the kitchen unsupervised
-On a similar note, if a student walks past a room and Annette is singing, pretend not to hear it.
-Students are not to complete Cyril's work for him.Ā  Trust us on this.
-We can't stop you from talking with Felix. But it may beĀ  for the best if you don't.
Ā 

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8 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

Secretļ»æ stash of what lol.ļ»æ

There's a sidequest in the game where Rhea tells you to give your students some herbs, one is for anxiety (in Golden Deers, this goes to Ignatz) and the other is for depression (which goes to Marianne in Golden Deers).

Needless to say, people have made jokes about the fact there is a sidequest where the Pope tells to give your students some weed.

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1 hour ago, Espurrhoodie said:

There's a sidequest in the game where Rhea tells you to give your students some herbs, one is for anxiety (in Golden Deers, this goes to Ignatz) and the other is for depression (which goes to Marianne in Golden Deers).

Needless to say, people have made jokes about the fact there is a sidequest where the Pope tells to give your students some weed.

Image result for stoner pope

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3 hours ago, Espurrhoodie said:

There's a sidequest in the game where Rhea tells you to give your students some herbs, one is for anxiety (in Golden Deers, this goes to Ignatz) and the other is for depression (which goes to Marianne in Golden Deers).

Needless to say, people have made jokes about the fact there is a sidequest where the Pope tells to give your students some weed.

Why did I not realize this?

Anyways...

-No one is allowed to make fun of or scrutinize anyone that Professor Byleth transfers to his house.

-No alcohol on monastery grounds. This extends to Knights of Seiros and the faculty.

-No one is allowed to question Professor Bylethā€™s containment of legendary weapons in his convoy. Those were gifts from the noble houses he helped on some quests.

Spoiler

-Captain Jeraltā€™s death must not be referred to in a manner of vanity. As in, no joking about it or criticizing anyone about it.

Ā 

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Throw away trash after you eat in the dining hall. Especially if it includes a stained napkin with chicken bones on it spread out and just left on the table. Flayn and Seteth both thought this was a (insert Fodlan equivalent of the word Satanic here) ritual. Thank the goddess it was cleared up before word got to Rhea...

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