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Things you're not allowed to do in Garreg Mach


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Seteth is not allowed to murder people for coming within ten meters of Flayn.

This does not apply to Sylvain. Have at him, Seteth.

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2 minutes ago, Sir Wolfram of Vallora said:

No bathing in the public fountain. (Like seriously, what possesses some people?)

I guess Dorothea was taking dating lessons from Manuela. (I mean, it worked...)

That leads to the next rule: No taking dating lessons from Manuela.

Edited by Benice
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>Ingrid, we all know it's you raiding the pantry. At least Raphael has the decency to ask first.#

>Professor Eisner is to be reminded that the students are allowed to use the Heroes' Relics.
>I'll use them when they're needed, and no earlier. ~Byleth

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5 hours ago, The_antithesis said:

Ingrid, we all know it's you raiding the pantry. At least Raphael has the decency to ask first.

I thought it was the cat. - Caspar

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Students are to be discouraged by their Professors from staging a public protests outside the Cathedral, not encouraged. ~Seteth

It makes no sense that Hubert can't be a Pegasus Knight or that Lysithea can't be a Dark Mage/Bishop just because Hubert's a guy and Lysithea's a girl. ~Byketh

Fodlan native Pegasi don't like being ridden by men. They tend to throw them off after getting far enough from the ground that a fall from such would kill or cripple the would-be rider. ~Seteth

Vindictive Sexists Pegasuses? As the future leader of the Alliance, I hereby ban Fodlan native Pegasuses/Pegasi from being ridden by anybody. ~Claude

Not again Claude. ~Dimitri

I'll have to see if Anna can contact the other Annas to import some non-Fodlan native Pegasuses over here. ~Byleth

Shame Linhardt can't be a Gremory. He'd be a total knockout in that gown. ~Dorothea

That actually gives me an ideal on how we can safely get Hubert on a Pegasus. Dorothea, I'm going to need Annette, Mercedes, and your help to make this work. ~Byleth

I have a bad feeling about where this is going. ~Dimitri

Edited by JackFrost2018
Brevity.
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1 hour ago, JackFrost2018 said:

Students are to be discouraged by their Professors from staging a public protests outside the Cathedral, not encouraged. ~Seteth

It makes no sense that Hubert can't be a Pegasus Knight or that Lysithea can't be a Dark Mage/Bishop just because Hubert's a guy and Lysithea's a girl. ~Byketh

Fodlan native Pegasi don't like being ridden by men. They tend to throw them off after getting far enough from the ground that a fall from such would kill or cripple the would-be rider. ~Seteth

Vindictive Sexists Pegasuses? As the future leader of the Alliance, I hereby ban Fodlan native Pegasuses/Pegasi from being ridden by anybody. ~Claude

Not again Claude. ~Dimitri

I'll have to see if Anna can contact the other Annas to import some non-Fodlan native Pegasuses over here. ~Byleth

Shame Linhardt can't be a Gremory. He'd be a total knockout in that gown. ~Dorothea

That actually gives me an ideal on how we can safely get Hubert on a Pegasus. Dorothea, I'm going to need Annette, Mercedes, and your help to make this work. ~Byleth

I have a bad feeling about where this is going. ~Dimitri

Can I throw money at this post for crossdressing Hubert?

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Spoiler

You can stop bragging about how you called it, that Tomas was secretly evil, Claude. I knew there was something sketchy with that old man the moment I first laid eyes on him. Not that Seteth ever listened to me. ~Byleth

You based your suspicions on Tomas on his appearance. ~Seteth

No one with a forehead that big and wrinkly could ever not be secretly evil. I bet you Monica's secretly crazy for Edelgard. There's something unsettling with those dead eyes of hers. ~Byleth

I'm not taking any further part in this. ~Seteth

Not even if the loser has to catch Flayn a big tasty fish? ~Claude

Did someone say fish? ~Flayn

It appears that I will be taking part in this nonsensical bet after all. ~Seteth

 

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>Byleth, do not use the Sword of the Creator as a fishing rod!
>I need to practice using it. The fish are moving targets, and small enough to let me train with precise strikes. Those skills may save my life in battle. ~Byleth
>The above rule change is hereby revoked.

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There are no 'hot mole people' living in secret under the Monastery, as the Archbishop's Advisor, I would certainly know if such a place as 'Abyss' existed. Sylvain, you should seek professional help with this, "Thirstiness" as Dorothea has put it. ~Seteth

Spoiler

Looks like we are going to have do something about that Gautier boy if he's spreading rumors about our existence. ~Hot mole girl

 

Edited by JackFrost2018
Eloquence.
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  • 2 weeks later...

No matter how many times you ask, Garreg Mach will not host a sports competition. Get those "jerseys" away from here.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to have a 30 Gold entrance fee to the Abyss is to report to the AACCP (Abyssal Administration Committee of Consumer Protection) immediately. Bringing a healer along is highly recommended.

Anna would like to talk to people. Please indulge her so she doesn't spend all her time raiding the treasury and getting caught swimming in gold (how does she even do that?).
- Teehee, trade secret!

Professor Byleth, please stop practicing that scary evil laughter. Just because someone said that your role is the same as a certain someone's from another universe doesn't mean you have to start behaving like him, too.
- This rule has been submitted by Flayn, Bernadetta, Ashe, and Lysithea. Also Jeralt.
- I did not!
- Makes you wonder who put the Professor up to this, anyway...
- Mwahahahahaha.... ~ Sothis

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  • 2 weeks later...

Your request to start a Count Varley Must Die Club has been denied, Professor. We can't have the Church associated with a group that is potentially scheming the assassination of the Empire's Minister of Religious Affairs. There are less... Permanent methods of keeping the Count uninvolved in his daughter's affairs. ~Seteth

You are also forbidden from starting an Assassin Class Appreciation Club because I know who most of your club would be considering as they're first target. ~Seteth

Dang it! ~Byleth

He knows you too well. ~Sothis
 

Spoiler

 

Abyss will always be open to a Count Varley Depreciation Club. ~Lord of the Hot Mole People

I don't get paid enough to deal with this nonsense on a daily basis. ~Seteth

When did I start paying paying you, Seteth? ~Rhea

Jeralt, would you perhaps be interested in going out for drinks? I am suddenly feeling a very pressing need to visit a tavern. ~Seteth

So long as Alois doesn't come along. ~Jeralt

Don't worry Captain, I'll be down in Abyss attending- I mean, I have some business down there that is completely unrelated to the first official gathering of the Count Varley Depreciation Club. A group that I would like everyone to know I am in no way affiliated with. ~Alois

In Alois's defense he is usually the one who talks the rest of us down when we start plotting how to infiltrate Varley Manor when the Count is sleeping and the guards go on break to play cards. ~Byleth

Goddess, am I the only sane person left in this Monastery? ~Seteth

Yes. ~Sothis

 

 

Edited by JackFrost2018
Conciseness
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  • 1 month later...

 

 

What is this? ~Seteth

 

 

Whoever is perpetrating such heresy will be found out! ~Seteth

 

The various blank spaces on this board are from erased propaganda created by various individuals who call themselves The Obsidian Foxes. The three involved call themselves The Void Emperor, 2, 3, and 1

Spoiler

The Obsidian Foxes

A "house" made up of those who know what evils the Church or the Agarthans have done, the Obsidian Foxes mainly focus on Dark Magic. They are lead, not by a house leader, but by the mysterious "Twelve Sages." Many speculate that the Twelve are lead by yet another, a mysterious entity that the students call "Null." This is evidenced by the fact that there is one door extra in the council hall, but it is made of thick Umbral Steel, and is kept locked at all times.

~The Void Emperor

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Garreg Mach is a place of piety and virtue. Please refrain from using its halls to "show off your stuff" to predominantly female visitors. ~ Rhea
- Wha-? How did you figure that one out? ~ Sylvain
- I guess we should have been slightly more subtle... ~ Lorenz
- Well that didn't work... ~ Dorothe--- I mean, some random girl who is definitely NOT part of the Black Egales
- Dorothea, we know it's you. Also, you misspelled "Eagles". ~ Edelgard
- I-I was panicking, okay? ~ Dorothea

Recently, I overheard Claude, Ferdinand, Lorenz, and Sylvain discussing the formation of a "band" and that Flayn would appeal to a "certain demographic", thus making her fit to be one of the lead singers. While I appreciate that they appreciate Flayn's natural singing talents, I hereby decree that the individuals in question report to my office immediately to inform me of this "certain demographic" that Flayn would appeal to and exactly in what way that "appeal" would express itself. ~ Seteth
- Hey, Byleth, you gotta be there, too! ~ Sothis
- Why? ~ Byleth
- Because I want to see them getting utterly roasted. It's so boring here, so any kind of entertainment is something I would very much like! ~ Sothis

... Mother?!? ~ Rhea

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