Metal Rabbit Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 So this isn't the movie 2, but it was a side project that took me a week. Something i've been doing is taking two unrelated plots and melt them together... until they smell like cheese. I call this episode: The day we divided by Zero. (AKA: Serenes Forest: The Sitcom: The Special!) \\\\ (at someone's house) Hika: A little this... and add this... Oh! It's perfect! Woman on TV: Now let those hush puppies bake for a half hour. Hika: Tee Hee. :D Woman on TV: Now I need to take a quick break, but I'll be back! *kiss* Hika: *kiss* Okay, now what do I do? *looks at palm pilot* Hika: I'm caught up with the cooking shows, and Ugly Betty... *click* Hika: Okay, now it says... Kill Vincent to get everyone's attn. *click, but the palm pilot explodes* Hika: Fucking cheap Goldoan gadgetry! I thought they knew their stuff! *puts on coat and leaves to carry out nefarious plot* \\\\ (At the base, a day earlier) Zephrion: And for my next trick, I'm gonna pull a rabbit out my hat! (in audience) Metal Rabbit: Boring! >_> Zephrion: *pulls MR out his hat* *everyone pseudo claps* Metal Rabbit: That was awesome! :D Zephrion: Now for the finale! I'm going to need my lovely assistant for this. *grabs MR* We're gonna saw him in half! *everyone applauds* Metal Rabbit: Are you sure this is safe? Zephrion: Nope. *starts chainsaw* Metal Rabbit: ._. (wakes up) Metal Rabbit: ._. Hi, my name's Metal Rabbit. I live in the Serenes Forest with a bunch of half assed mercenaries. CGV: ...what was that? Metal Rabbit: I forgot, CGV isn't that smart. Fox: Hey idiot, we can hear every word you're saying. Metal Rabbit: How do they know that I'm trying to narrate my own life? Fox: No, you're talking out loud... Metal Rabbit: She must be having her time of the month. No worries. *fox grabs sword in a flash of rage* Metal Rabbit: Anyway, this was the start of a couple of really wierd days. ._. I seem to be bleeding...............*collapses as he writes* \\\\ (Back to the present) Hika: I gotta first get those morons who live here to summon that dastard. *two people are walking by with a convoy having a conversation* Hika: *hides* Metal Rabbit: ...so my friend had to pull it out my ass. CGV: How fun is it to be you? *they leave* (you're wondering why him and I are going somewhere with a convoy? well this happened the day before) CGV: Target pratice everyone! Just hit all 10 targets within 2 minutes. Zephrion: *casts tornado* Oh shit, i used the wrong spell! *the tornado goes out of control and sends CGV flying 50 feet in the air* Bianchi: *fires light magic* Oh! I missed! Metal Rabbit: You gotta pay attention to what you're doing. *fires bolt and it hits a cloaked man* ???: Gyahh!! *falls* Bianchi: Oops. ???: Frank? ???: ... *dies* \\\\ ???: You there! Did you fire that bolt? Kiryn: Nope. *puts bow away* It was him! *points to MR* ???: You realise you just killed the archery master of Freila University? Metal Rabbit: lol, irony. CGV: No lolz. Bad MR. *hits on head with newspaper* ???: Wait! Do not punish him! CGV: But you just said he killed an archery professor. ???: Yeah, but I hated the man. I wanted to say that was the finest marksmanship I've seen... ever! Kiryn: ._. ???: Where are my manners? Metal Rabbit: In your pants? ???: Quite. I am Dolf, the head of staff at FU. Metal Rabbit: And I'm your daddy's momma's baby's other friend! :D Dolf: I'll cut right to the chase: I want you to be our new archer master! CGV: Will he get alot of money? Dolf: Hell yes. CGV: Very well, I'm Coolguyvaters, his manager and best friend! *hugs MR* Metal Rabbit: Yesterday you said you were gonna hold me down underwater till the bubbles stopped. <3 CGV: He's only kidding. >_> Dolf: All you need to do is come to out campus in East Sienne tommorow. Good day, master rabbit! *leaves* Fox: ...CGV, what are you thinking? CGV: ._. (MR + Frelia University = Money = Hookers willing to do the crazy stuff) The same old. \\\\ (back to the present) Hika: Wonder where they're going... ah well. Less security is better. *goes into forest* Bianchi: Kiryn! Where are you?! Hika: ...I'm right here. Bianchi: Oh, thank goddess! Why do you have an axe? Hika: ...um, i'm trying to be more like Hikarusa. Bianchi: Who's that? Hika: ...he was only your faithful servant for 5 years. Bianchi: ...don't ring a bell. Hika: He FED you, cleaned your toilets, did your dirty work, AND he broke in your high heels!!! Bianchi: Hika... hika... nope. *leaves* *Hikarusa has a temper tantrum* \\\\ (in the base) Kiryn: It's boring here. Fox: Yeah, without those two idiots here its a little dull... Kiryn: Um... Fox? Fox: What? Kiryn: We're alone, r-right? Fox: What of it? Kiryn: Well I... uh. Fox: Just say it! *she's sweating bullets* Fox: ...I'll do it then. *she goes and sits on Kiryn's lap and stares her in the face* *they come closer... and they closed their eyes* *crash* Zephrion: Sorry, I can't controll the tornadoes... ...am i interrupting something? *Kiryn stands up suddenly making Fox fall off* Fox: Ow! Kiryn: Oh, im sorry! :o Zephrion: ...I'm gonna go. *leaves* Kiryn: Fox? Fox: There's no way. *leaves* Kiryn: :( \\\\ (Frelia University) CGV: We're here! Guard: Ah you must be Master Rabbit! CGV: Nope, that's him. *points* Guard: Oh... well go on in. The headmaster is expecting to see you in his office. \\\\ Headmaster: Master Rabbit, this is the top school in all of Tellius... Metal Rabbit: I thought Ostia was. Headmaster: You are here to mold young minds... Metal Rabbit: Doesn't mold happen on its own? Headmaster: And I will not have you fucking everything up! Metal Rabbit: That's okay, I know a call girl. (obviously the dude isn't hearing him... and maybe that's a good thing) Headmaster: That said, you begin teaching tommorow. Bright and early. Metal Rabbit: Mkay, goodbye cheese head! *leaves* Headmaster: Who'd have thought a subhuman could teach here? Let alone teach weapon arts. \\\\ CGV: Hey baby, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? Student: Yah right! CGV: Hey there bitty, you got a map? I got lost in your eyes... Androgenous dude: I'm a boy. CGV: Oh... well this is awkward... Metal Rabbit: Hi CGV! CGV: Oh you. Go get me a soda would ya? Metal Rabbit: Can I spit in it? CGV: Yeah, sure, just go. *he leaves* CGV: Hi there! I'm looking for treasure, mind if i check your chest? Androgenous dude: It's me again!! *MR comes back with soda* CGV: Thanks dude. Metal Rabbit: Can you teach me to pick up chicks too? CGV: Okay... watch this: CGV: *to girl reading by tree* I'm gonna need laser surgery, cause your beauty blinded me! Girl: *kicks him in crotch and leaves* Metal Rabbit: My turn!! *to a group of girls* CGV: This is gonna be hilarious... Metal Rabbit: You must have fallen from heaven... it'd explain why your face is so messed up. CGV: Ouch... girls: Your cute. Wanna have a 3 way later? CGV: O_O Metal Rabbit: Normally I'd say yes... but I'm a teacher here. girls: I think I just found a new respect for men... *they give him a peck on the cheek and leave* CGV: I hate you. Metal Rabbit: ._. \\\\ (At home) Hika: Hey Bianchi, I lost my key to the base... you got yours? Bianchi: I'm not allowed to have keys. Some guy tricked me and stole it once. Hika: Dammit. Bianchi: But I can call Vincent and he'll open the door! Hika: ...! Okay! Bianchi: But first tell me a story! Hika: What? Bianchi: You always tell me a story before I go to sleep. Hika: Right... Okay. There was once this badass guy named Hikarusa... Bianchi: That's a weird name. Hika: ...he got expelled from a school a long time ago and since then he hasn't been able to keep a job... Bianchi: So he's a total loser? Hika: Quit interruppting! Now this guy's goal is to become famous, so people will actually remember his name. Bianchi: Who? Hika: Hikarusa!!! Bianchi: I don't like this story. Tell me the one about the mushroom again. (He's very close to losing it) Hika: There was once a handsome... mushroom called Hikarusa. The end. Bianchi: That was awesome! Good night! ZZZZZZzzzzzz.... Hika: NO! You have to summon Vincent! O_o \\\\ (In the base) Kiryn: Um... fox? Fox: *reading* Yes? Kiryn: I'm sorry about earlier. Fox: You bruised my butt. Kiryn: Can I... have another chance? Fox: *puts down book* ...alright. Kiryn: Let's go in here so noone can bother us... *they enter an empty bedroom and lay on the bed* *again, they get closer and... no interruptions* *kidding, Zeph enters* Zephrion: ._. Fox: Get the fuck out of here!! Zephrion: It's my room! O_o Kiryn: We just wanna be alone! Zephrion: You know what?! You got it! I'm gonna visit MR and CGV tommorow! *Fox looks at Zeph's desk* Fox: Why is there a Playboy mag on your desk? Zephrion: Those are CGV's... idk how they got there... Here, I'll just put these in his room. Fox: No, I'll do it. *the other two leave, and Fox stuffs the mag under her shirt* \\\\ (Next morning, Frelia University, Archery range) CGV: You ready!? Metal Rabbit: Yes! CGV: Fetch! *pretends to throw balll* *MR chases it* CGV: lolz *the headmaster and Dolf appear* Dolf: Where is master rabbit? CGV: Here he comes. Metal Rabbit: I couldn't find it... Headmaster: What? Metal Rabbit: The tennis ball. Headmaster: Master Rabbit, you're here to show the students your godly technique! Metal Rabbit: ...you mean I have to sleep with them? Even the dudes? Dolf: No, he means archery techniques. Metal Rabbit: Okey dokey. (He addresses the class) Metal Rabbit: Okay class! Do what I do! Uhmm... what now? *he takes an arrow out of his quiver and scratches his chin with it* *so does the class* Student: I'm bleeding sir! Are you sure you want us to do this? Metal Rabbit: Excuse me, but who's the teacher here?! Students: YOU! Metal Rabbit: That's right! :D CGV: This is gonna be a long day... \\\\ (Back with Hika) Hika: WAKE UP!!! For the LOVE of ME! Bianchi: *yawns* That was a good nap! Hika: FINALLY! Bianchi: You don't have to shout... whoever you are. Hika: SUMMON VINCENT NOW! Bianchi: *mutters something* *Vincent Appears* Vincent: Good Morning miss, what is it? Bianchi: He's being mean to me! Hika: huh? Vincent: An offense to a patron of this forest is an offense to me. Leave now. Hika: But..! *vincent casts warp and send him out of the forest* Hika: DAMMIT!!! \\\\ (Later at the university) CGV: You know I thought you were in trouble when you got mad at that kid and told everyone to fire at him. Metal Rabbit: Nope. I just gotta go to an ethics commitee. CGV: ._. *MR leaves* *Zeph enters a minute later* Zephrion: Hey CGV. CGV: What's up? Zephrion: So where's the "master"? CGV: Ethics commitee. Zephrion: ...looks like i owe fireman 100 gold. \\\\ (at the hearing) Headmaster: And now we come to Master Rabbit. Metal Rabbit: No? Headmaster: My fellow chairpeople, this idiot instructed his archery class to aim at one person, resulting in their death. What do you have to say to that? Metal Rabbit: In my defense, he was chewing gum. And that's not just it, he did it very sneakily, and assumed I wouldn't see him. Plus I warned him like 3 times. Headmaster: But you killed him! Metal Rabbit: No, the others did. :D Headmaster: My fellows, he's an imbicile and isnt capable of teaching here! All those who move to expel him say I! Metal Rabbit: I! *everyone else says it too* Dolf: Wait! Don't you see what he's done though? Headmaster: He murdered a student! Dolf: But because of that, all the students are afraid to chew gum! Headmaster: What? Dolf: His command to his archery class was "If you see someone chewing gum, fire!". As a result, no students have chewed anything but their meals. *everyone else agrees* Dolf: Fellow chairpeople, we shouldn't expel him... why we should be thanking him! \\\\ (In that other room) CGV: Did you bring me back my playboys? Zephrion: Actually, Fox has them. I saw her reading it. CGV: ._. *MR returns* CGV: So should we head back home? Metal Rabbit: They gave me a medal. ._. Zephrion: Hey MR, can you show me the math department? I used to major in it... Metal Rabbit: Okay. CGV: ... *takes out concealed playboy and reads* \\\\ (Math Department) Teacher: And who might you be? Metal Rabbit: I work here. He's my friend. Teacher: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Master Bates. Zephrion: May we see your ultimate calculator? Teacher: It's over there. *leaves* Zephrion: I haven't seen one of these in 5 years. Metal Rabbit: What is it? Zephrion: It's an ultimate calculator. It's the most powerful calculator in the world... and its the reason I was expelled from Ostia. Metal Rabbit: What happened? Zephrion: Me and a friend caused a giant error and broke it. We got kicked out. Metal Rabbit: If it's so ultimate, why did it break? Zephrion: It's error-proof because its self aware. But there's a glitch that prevents it from error chekcking when you divide by zero. Metal Rabbit: ... *he types something in* Zephrion: My dad disowned me when I got back... What are you doing? Metal Rabbit: 1 divided by 0 is... enter! Zephrion: O_O *the math department explodes* \\\\ (Ethics commitee... again) Headmaster: Simple enough, he destroyed a very expensive piece of machinery and he should get kicked out! *others murmur* Headmaster: Do you have anything to add Rabbit? Metal Rabbit: I would, but the calculator's busted, and I can't do math on my own. Headmaster: Very well, I... Zephrion: Hold it! You can't blame him! Headmaster: Why not? Zephrion: You were lied to from the begining! That calculator was the same one that Ostia Uni had 5 years ago! It wasn't very valuable if you bought it broken! Headmaster: H-how did you know that?! Zephrion: I was teh one who broke it before, and before I did that, I stuck a piece of minty gum right under here! *he picks it off anf flings it at the headmaster* Dolf: Those who find Master Rabbit not guilty say I! Everyone else: I! Metal Rabbit: NAY! :D Dolf: Dodged another bullet, didn't you? Metal Rabbit: That's fine and all, but the headmaster is chewing gum. That's very disrespectful... Headmaster: I'm not chewing it! It's on my robes! Metal Rabbit: Class! *archery students surround him and fire* \\\\ Dolf: The board members and I agree, that for the services rendered to this school, we want you to be our president. CGV: Alright! More money! We want it in cash plz. Zephrion: Congratz man. Metal Rabbit: ...It's an honor... But I can't stay here. I love that forest and I can't be away from it. Dolf: I understand. But what about your paycheck? Metal Rabbit: Use it to buy a new Ultimate Calculator. Preferably one that is completely error free. CGV: WHAT?! Dolf: Understood! Metal Rabbit: Bye everyone! *all the students and facuilty wave goodbye* \\\\ (outside the forest) CGV: I fucking hate you! Metal Rabbit: I told you I'll buy you another playboy... Zephrion: We're almost home! *someone jumps into the convoy* \\\\ (Inside the base) Metal Rabbit: I'm home! :D Fox: Were you fired? Zephrion: He got 2 medals and a statue for special services to the school. Fox: ._. Vincent: Ah, the master returns! Metal Rabbit: It's the giant bird! Hi! ???: Now that everyone's here to witness it, it's time!!! *Hika jumps out of the convoy* Hika: Die Vincent! *he lunges at him* Fireman: *uses silencer* Hika: Ahhh.... dammit... CGV: Where've you been all episode anyway? Kiryn: It's not like the narrator to forget you... Fireman: I was in the shadows, taking pics for Playboy. Zephrion: *takes out mag* This one has Fox in it! Fox: WHAT?! CGV: and... Kiryn... Kiryn: o_o Metal Rabbit: lolz, your breasts are nice. Vincent: ENOUGH! This episode is past the wierdness marker. If it were wierd on a scale of 1-100, it would be over 9000! Hika: Uh... Metal Rabbit: Hey, I'm sorry noone can remember your name dude. Hika: ... Metal Rabbit: But you're good with an axe! So I can probably get you a job at Frelia University. Hika: You'd do that? No joke? Metal Rabbit: You can say I have some pull there. \\\\ (At the uni) Dolf: It's time to worship the great one! *everyone bows to the statue of MR* \\\\ (East Sienne) Hika: This is great! Now I'll be famous as an axe instructor! *he enters the Uni* Hika: This place is awesome! *pulls out a piece of gum and chews it* Student: He has gum!!! \\\\ (Hika's house) *his whole house burned down cuz his hush puppies burned everything* lolz \\\\ So that's that. I hope you didn't mind listening to that. It's the story of broken calculators, lesbian foreplay, and how gum was outlawed at a school. I'm sleepy... good night! :D -Metal Rabbit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 That's really damn epic dawg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrion Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 This story deserves a new word to describe it's epicness and funniness. I shall dub it, EPILOLZ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 It's comments like those that keep me writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrion Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Then we're gonna need more comments like those. Seriously, that was really funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 -shoots MR- For the sixth time I'm STRAIGHT!!! and stop it with the bad pictures. -stabs MR- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 *Rolls on laughing floor while laughing floor rolls on floor lauging* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 You know you're bleeding out of your shoulder and your stomach? I dunno if rolling on the floor laughing would be too healthy right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 For what its worth Kiryn, I'm sorry that I keep that going. I wrote this thing to be cannonical with both of the movies. I'm an artist though... and slapstick humor and sex puns aren't everything to me. I put alot of effort and thought into my work, so it'll be the best quality it can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Heh. You could write in that I have an evil twin. That would fix things. (Then the evil twin can get killed off or something). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 ...funny that you mention that... But according to the gag order i placed on the second movie, i cant tell you more about how we all have another side to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Considering I'm a double-Branded with no past before the age of eleven or so, an evil twin or clone or some other doppleganger should be really easy to explain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 branded? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 You've gotta know what a Branded is... Funny scribbles on my right wrist and on my left shoulder. Means somehow I inherited the brand- twice. When I take enough damage I turn into something a heck of a lot like a human-form laguz, except I've got wings and cat ears. Kiryn's parentage is a total mystery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 ...i can still fit that in i believe. in the story so far you haven't been BADLY damaged... but I'm only like halfway done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Lol. Actually my laguzish-ness showed up in the episode I wrote. But back to the problem- my lack of a past provides opportunity to explain that it wasn't really me doing stupid things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 I can tell you... I haven't gone into your past before the time where all the members met. It was a dark and clear night (as opposed to stormy). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 And I mentioned that I don't remember anything before the age of eleven-ish. Five years in the forest is my entire backstory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 Then we're on the same page. (112?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 That gave me epic lolz, even mine and Kiryn's....scenes. Some queen I am, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 that was certainly epic!!!!! poor hika..... no one can remember him.... ..... ..... ..... who's hika??? lol!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 that was certainly epic!!!!!poor hika..... no one can remember him.... ..... ..... ..... who's hika??? lol!!!!!!! There was someone named Hika? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrion Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Hika? I thought his name was Hiccup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Rabbit Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 That gave me epic lolz, even mine and Kiryn's....scenes. Some queen I am, eh? You're not queen yet ._. Give it 5 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Taking pics for Playboy? Sounds like me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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