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Rezzy

Transgender People in the World Today and a Confession

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So, this has been a long time coming.  I have a confession to make to all of you.  I am transgender MTF.  I was born male, but have presented as cis female to all of you for years.  This was never meant as anything meant to be maliciously deceptive, and everything else I've ever said is true.  I'm 33, I'm married with two kids, and I'm a doctor.

I'm not proud of the fact that I'm trans, and did not want to draw attention to it, but as I got to know all of you, I wanted to share certain things about myself, like the joys of parenthood.  The user who has popped here time to time is actually my wife, not my husband, and has known I was trans since before we were married.

Whenever transgender issues come into the news, it's almost always in a bad light, and many people in the LGBT community don't do us any favors.  I just wanted to be treated like anybody else and known for being Rezzy, not just "that trans person".

There are myriad reasons I've hid who I really was.  One major one was fear of social rejection.  I've now come out to almost all of my IRL friends and to my mother.  I'm hoping to do the same for the rest of my family, but things haven't been the best since telling my mother, since she's been avoiding me since i first told her, despite saying she still loved me on the day I told her.

The next major reason was fear of not being able to pursue my chosen career.  I felt being openly trans would have hurt any chance I had of ever being a doctor, so I hid it.

The last major reason was that I always wanted kids of my own, but thankfully, I was able to find a woman who accepted me for what I was, and willing to start a family with me.

 

I'm done hiding who I really am, but never really hid anything about myself besides my birth sex, and the friendships I've forged here are genuine, at least on my end.  If anyone has questions, either publicly, or privately, I will be happy to answer.

Edited by Rezzy

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Well I for one support you in this endeavor Rezzy. I'm happy that you feel comfortable enough to come out to us like this. It's not easy thing to do and I'm happy for you

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Yeah, trans people are normally as good as anybody else. I view it in the same light as feminism, which is it's fine to an extent. Don't overplay yourself or others or whatever, and I've got no problem with that stuff.

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Thank you for trusting me as one of the people you chose to come out to on Discord. It makes me feel good.

Already shared sentiments there. You are awesome Rezzy.

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Thank you for coming out.

I support you Rezzy. I know we may not have talked much, but you're a sweet woman.

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It makes me feel better knowing other people are trans here since I don't know anyone else who is. I'm quite young (recently turned 17) so I can't really go anywhere with it for the time being as I don't feel comfortable presenting myself as myself at college or at home due to the way people take the mick out of trans and LGBT people where I live and when I finally came out to my mum it didn't go as well as I had hoped and she keeps trying to convince me that I'm just making it up and that I will 'grow out of it' when I get older. I hate having try to prove that I am who I am to my own mother. 

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39 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

Well I for one support you in this endeavor Rezzy. I'm happy that you feel comfortable enough to come out to us like this. It's not easy thing to do and I'm happy for you

Thanks, I think I've bumped into you a few times on the boards, and that's good to hear.

32 minutes ago, Bluestorm said:

Yeah, trans people are normally as good as anybody else. I view it in the same light as feminism, which is it's fine to an extent. Don't overplay yourself or others or whatever, and I've got no problem with that stuff.

Yeah, I'm not big on drama.  I just want to blend in with everybody else.

25 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Thank you for trusting me as one of the people you chose to come out to on Discord. It makes me feel good.

Already shared sentiments there. You are awesome Rezzy.

Thanks, that means a lot.

14 minutes ago, Espurrhoodie said:

Thank you for coming out.

I support you Rezzy. I know we may not have talked much, but you're a sweet woman.

Thanks, it's always been nice the times we've talked.

11 minutes ago, Edegard1902 said:

It makes me feel better knowing other people are trans here since I don't know anyone else who is. I'm quite young (recently turned 17) so I can't really go anywhere with it for the time being as I don't feel comfortable presenting myself as myself at college or at home due to the way people take the mick out of trans and LGBT people where I live and when I finally came out to my mum it didn't go as well as I had hoped and she keeps trying to convince me that I'm just making it up and that I will 'grow out of it' when I get older. I hate having try to prove that I am who I am to my own mother. 

That can be really rough.  I was closeted as trans for most of my life.  Online was the only place I could really interact as I wanted to be seen.  The world's gotten a lot better for trans people though.  Back when I was your age, in the dark ages of 2003, gay marriage was still a hot topic.  My mom's not exactly been the most supportive.  I only came out to her as trans a couple weeks ago, and she's been avoiding answering my texts/calls since then.  When I was younger she would get drunk and bash me for being gay, so I think she suspected something, even though I never said anything to her about it until recently.

If you ever need someone to talk to and feel alone, feel free to shoot me a message either here or on Discord.  I check Discord a little more often, but am usually on here pretty regularly as well.

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I'm afraid I'd fumble with the most delicately worded and overthought statement of support for your coming out. So, I'll resort to something simpler to show my well-intended positivity and sympathy/empathy (whichever is more appropriate if only one applies) for you Rezzy.:

😃

Edited by Interdimensional Observer

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1 minute ago, Interdimensional Observer said:

I'm afraid I'd fumble with the most delicately worded and overthought statement of support for your coming out. So, I'll resort to something simpler to show my well-intended positivity and sympathy/empathy (whichever is more appropriate if only one applies) for you Rezzy.

😃

Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment.

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Honestly i am in the same boat, everything that i try to type may sound transphobic if read in the wrong way, so i just say that is a good step for you.

Edited by Flere210

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@Rezzy I know the overall view of trans people has become more positive but at the moment I'm stuck in college where there are a lot of immature people who will try to take the mick out of anyone who doesn't follow their ideal or those who go with the flow. hopefully I'll feel better once I've left college and started to transition since I'll hopefully start to like myself more. 

Is your name on Discord the same as here? I have an account but not used it in a while.

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3 minutes ago, Flere210 said:

Honestly i am in the same boat, everything that i try to type may sound transphobic if read in the wrong way, so i just say that is a good step for you.

No worries, I'd rather people speak their mind than try to walk on egg shells for fear of offending me.  I think many trans people can be a little too sensitive sometimes.

1 minute ago, Edegard1902 said:

@Rezzy I know the overall view of trans people has become more positive but at the moment I'm stuck in college where there are a lot of immature people who will try to take the mick out of anyone who doesn't follow their ideal or those who go with the flow. hopefully I'll feel better once I've left college and started to transition since I'll hopefully start to like myself more. 

Is your name on Discord the same as here? I have an account but not used it in a while.

Yeah, that can be tough.  In college already at 17?  That's pretty advanced, where are you at?  Most colleges nowadays have an LGBT club where you might be able to find more people who might be a bit more supportive.

Yeah, my Discord name is Rezzy.  I'm on the Serenes Discord, but not super active on that particular server.  I'm mostly active on some smaller ones, but will always respond if I see a PM pop up.

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You're still the same old Rezzy I've known for years.

I can't imagine the stress you've felt for so long, feeling the need to hide it, glad you can finally get it off your chest. 

 

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Just now, Captain Karnage said:

You're still the same old Rezzy I've known for years.

I can't imagine the stress you've felt for so long, feeling the need to hide it, glad you can finally get it off your chest.

Thanks!

Yeah, it's been stressful.  My first thoughts when joining the community were "Hey, this is nice, they're just treating me like any other woman in the group.  I can be myself, and not have to pretend to be some guy, as people see me as IRL."  This gradually became mixed with "But am I really a woman?  Am I just a fake, lying to myself and everybody else?"  And that really ate at me.  I wanted to say something sooner, but was scared of everyone thinking I had been lying to them.

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The i will say that imo you should not feel bad for hiding anything. For starter, in an online forum we don't interact whit our bodies, so if your mind is female, you are female(this is the problematic part. I feel that such a statement can be interpreted as "if your mind is female but your body is male, you are not really female" wich is not what i wanted to say. And i even feel that explaining that sounds lika a "i am not racist but..." argument). And i am sorry, because you said in the very first post that you don't wanted to being treated fifferently, but i was a bit in a catch 22 so i decided to be honest.

And i don't think it's even most trans people. It's cis allies. I have seen enought people being harrased for any kind of misstep that i have become very careful around those issues. In the next volume of a novel i am writing there is going to be a trans character and i have all kinds of anxieties about of she may be received, wich sometimes encroach upon real life.

 

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9 minutes ago, Flere210 said:

The i will say that imo you should not feel bad for hiding anything. For starter, in an online forum we don't interact whit our bodies, so if your mind is female, you are female(this is the problematic part. I feel that such a statement can be interpreted as "if your mind is female but your body is male, you are not really female" wich is not what i wanted to say. And i even feel that explaining that sounds lika a "i am not racist but..." argument). And i am sorry, because you said in the very first post that you don't wanted to being treated fifferently, but i was a bit in a catch 22 so i decided to be honest.

And i don't think it's even most trans people. It's cis allies. I have seen enought people being harrased for any kind of misstep that i have become very careful around those issues. In the next volume of a novel i am writing there is going to be a trans character and i have all kinds of anxieties about of she may be received, wich sometimes encroach upon real life.

 

I understand completely.  My wife got chased out of an LGBT facebook group for offending a nonbinary person, and I've even had run-ins offending trans people who didn't know that I was also trans, so I don't fault you for being wary.  I try to see things in a positive light, and as long as you're trying, I don't mind.

8 minutes ago, Gregster101 said:

I support you Rezzy. It's nice to see you come out with this, and I hope everything goes well with you in the future 🙂

Thanks, I've enjoyed our talks, and I'm glad to hear it.

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While I'm being open, here's a picture of what I look like.
nRwerwg.jpg

My ultimate goal is just to blend in, really.

6 minutes ago, Gamer76252 said:

Have only seen you around, not much interaction, but I'm glad you are being yourself. Most important thing to do and I support you.

Thanks, I don't think we've talked before, but it's nice to hear.

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2 minutes ago, Rezzy said:

While I'm being open, here's a picture of what I look like.
nRwerwg.jpg

My ultimate goal is just to blend in, really.

Thanks, I don't think we've talked before, but it's nice to hear.

Your hair looks lovely! So shiny!

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You are you and I support you for having the will to be able to live your life and to come out as who you truly are.  Life is hard enough without having to hide who you are, I hope you can now move forward and just be you without the stress of hiding a part of yourself.

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I'll be honest, this changes nothing about how I've known you around these forums over the years. You are who you are now and this changes nothing personally.

I consider that a positive. I hope others who learn about it from now on can accept you as a whole regardless.

And yeah, looking at the picture I'm pretty sure you'd blend in fine 😛

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You know my thoughts on the matter. Glad you’re at a place in life where you feel loved and supported enough to come out. For whatever it’s worth IRL; you’re always among friends here at The Forest.

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Being trans doesn't make you any less of a woman than a cis woman.  We all support you, and thank you for telling your story.

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Even though we've never met, I fully support you. Thanks for being brave enough to come out- your gender doesn't define who you are. 

Again, I applaud your bravery, and bravo 🙏

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