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How to deal with attraction to my org's vice president?


Zerxen
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So basically I had suffered from low testosterone and I didn't experience much interest in sex or romance my entire youth. I have been taking some medication for my health issues and lately I have an interest in women. These past few weeks, my semester for university started and I joined up with this org focusing on community service. I was one of the newer members and the vice-president was really friendly with me and inviting whenever she saw me alone (I am usually a loner). We became friends after this but ever since I met her, I cannot help but feel attracted to her. The org participates in activities several times a week and I don't know if it is a good idea to ask her out given her position in the group. I've only known her for about two weeks but I feel overwhelmed since I have rarely dealt with crushes my entire life. FWIW, she's a second year and I'm a third year with different majors.

 

EDIT: Given her position in the group, she is always active with activities. Plus she is a STEM major. I can't help but feel even if she was interested in me, she has to say no due to a lack of time.

Edited by Zerxen
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22 minutes ago, Zerxen said:

I can't help but feel even if she was interested in me, she has to say no due to a lack of time.

You will never know unless you ask. My best advise is try to stay friends, and be understanding if she rejects you like you expect.

Good Luck I hope things go well.

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1 minute ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

You will never know unless you ask. My best advise is try to stay friends, and be understanding if she rejects you like you expect.

 

1 minute ago, Eltosian Kadath said:

Good Luck I hope things go well.

How should I go about asking this? I never asked out a girl before. This is someone who happens to be occupied a lot. I don't want to ruin my friendship.

Edited by Zerxen
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Let me ask you this. How serious are you about pursing a relationship with her? I mean when you are young, inexperienced, haven't tried out dating to figure out what you want in a future partner, and haven't also included or factored in your career or the direction your life is going in, getting into it now would be pretty half assing it. I mean still date I say, you need the experience. But like I asked, how serious are you? I have just a few tips I could give. But which ones I give you depend on what stage of life your in. Can't off load on you too much mature wisdom when you probably wouldn't even comprehend it. More accurately, you wouldn't embody it and live it. You gotta have that light bulb in your head go off that makes you feel like you get it. Like you are looking at the bigger picture now. (Sorry if I sound condescending. I try pretty hard to fix my words and the way I deliver them but damn does it still come out all wrong lol. I retyped this like twice)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Is she way older than you or married? Anyway, unless she is in a relationship, I think you should try to ask her for something informal, a lunch, a show, hanging out with friends, something like that. Also try to keep contact with her in social media without being evasive. 

 

If she rejects you, it's life, move on and sometimes someone says no once but later changes mind, it happens a lot. You will never know.

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On 10/17/2019 at 3:22 AM, Zerxen said:

 

How should I go about asking this? I never asked out a girl before. This is someone who happens to be occupied a lot. I don't want to ruin my friendship.

bro, you've only known her for 2 weeks. you're barely friends. ask her out

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If you are already interested in her, then you're already past the event horizon - ask her out, try your best (I'd recommend to build up a relationship with her before declaring yourself though) and, if things fail, hey, life experience for you. Position doesn't matter that much (in this case, at least), and honestly she'll be the judge of that.

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Wait until near the end of the semester and ask her out, simple. There is no need to listen to anyone telling you to do so right away. Neither one of you is going anywhere, and if she rejects you, you'll want as little time for an awkward rapport to develop. Then you will both have the break to either hang out or cool off.

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