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Fire emblem 4 Randomized: 100% RNG, No Luck

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Hello Again everyone, since now my last LP/Challenge Run is over, I decided to take a break between games in order to not get frustrated and leave everything on the floor (Especially since the 3rd can be rage inducing if not careful). So instead I decided to do an side-series, which is....

 

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Yeah, I'm going to start playing these babies randomized to see if things get too hectic (spoiler: they got really stupid as soon as the prologue). Since I'm using one of the best utility programs out there (Yune is a fantastic thing), here are the settings I choose:

 

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Growths & Bases: Going here full random since I want units really different from the original cast (especially when it comes to parenting).

Assign Holy Blood: I like this mechanics, so I went full yolo and gave everyone holy blood to see if wild things happen later down the line while also messing up the bonuses for more options later down the line

 

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Skills: This is really important because I want actual options when it comes to choose pairings, so everyone has the same chances to get really wacky stuff (outside of pursuit with a really nice 50% chance per skill roll). I turn off Charge, Renewal, Paragon and Bargain because those are either too useful, powerful or an actual nuisance to deal with (I'm looking at you charge).

 

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Classes: Everyone's outside of dancers is in the blender so of course there's a good chance I need to deal with Julius without Narga.

Children Options: Since the 2nd Generation will have it easy with all the inheritance I decided to have them randomized too in order to reduce my advantage (this option just only check if the kid have a weapon that share his parent, so people with a parent in the master knight class can be whatever).

Holy Blood: I went shuffle because getting the same holy weapons is a bummer (Also, the legendary weapons have random bonuses so that's a thing to watch out too).

Shops/Conversation Gifts: I went ahead and tailor that depending of the party since I want to actually beat this game.

Enemies Table: Everything is randomized, so I can be ambushed by the whole church or assault a kingdom of princesses at the drop of a hat, so be prepared for some weird stuff.

 

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Promotions: Everyone can be anything, so expect shit like Noish tossing his horse in order to ride a dragon or Fury chopping her ride's wing since she has nausea.

Buff Enemies: 50% growths for every enemies and a 25% chance for each enemy to spawn something outright painful....I'm feeling good about this one (Famous Last Words - 2019).

Forced Holy Weapon: I hope I don't get something as dumb as Thorhammer frying my team as soon as CH2 pops in.

I went against randomized the rings just because I don't want something as dumb as having two bargain/pursuit rings to abuse.

 

With these out of the way, let's start our journey into the alternate Jugdral:

 

Prologue, Part 1 - Jungby

Spoiler

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I haven't got the time to speak of it but I really love this new translation since for once I actually understand the whole plot

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The game start the same way: Verdane invades Grandbell because morons (I don´t even know how that works now, the have people smart enough to wield magic emot-colbert.gif )

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You said it, now let us go for a quick wi-

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Oh. Well....this can be a trouble 

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Except not really: Sigurd decided to one up his normal self and now he's basically an one man army with the extra of wield anything I want. This is good because the rest of the Chalphys are on foot.

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Noish went to the dark side and things are looking better for him: He hits like a truck and has staff utility to boot (I just notices I screw up his info tab, he comes with Pursuit and Nihil).

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Alec went a different route and now he's arguably worse: He got the growths to survive long enough to pull out wrath crits but outside of the arena I don't see him doing that much for me.

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However, Arden went zero to hero in this one: Bargain is outside of his ring form out of my reach, so having a ATM dispenser as soon as the prologue will make things go more smoothly.

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The seed decided to throw a fucking stone to make it clear I will have a wild ride: Bards with wind tomes and 8 AS are hoarding the whole map and my team have resistance between crap and decent so we are turtling these first turns until I either get a healer or everything's clean (Special mention to the Junior Lords replacing the hunters: Those drop 6000 gold per unit so Arden is a blessing here).

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If things weren't bad enough, I got these jobbers to deal with who are also benefiting for the new growth rates

Turn 1

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Sigurd went ahead and show up his new palette while everyone else follows behind his tail (this will a common nuisance)

Enemy turn

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Midir get nuked as per cannon. Hmm...a Javelin....

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Hey, Aideen is a princess. That's quite fitting for her character in this and next chapter  :v

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Noish end the carnage with the screams of the dead grabbing the enemy's soul. Whatever help you sleep at night.

Turn 2

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Great, more reinforcements!!! Now we can really start-

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Well....shot

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Lex went ahead and toss his horse into the pond for some armor and a sword: His growths aren't that different from vanilla outside of that derp Skl/Lck and with Miracle he can actually clean the arena with enough manipulation of my end. I hope he gets a horse on promotion.

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Azel meanwhile deserted his kingdom and now he became a bard (Hmm...where I have heard that before...must be on my head): Losing Pursuit is a bummer but if he manages to land enough Skl to proc Astra, he will delete everything on screen with wrath/astra combos

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Azel stops the brigand so he cannot destroy the near village while Lex goes down to receive said brigand in the village below. Arden and Alec get both a kill (While stealing some cash in Arden case).

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Sigurd remove this poor sap here and starts pushing forward in hopes to save the far away villages since Lex is kind of a sitting duck now 

Enemy Phase

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Azel get thrashed by the enemy mages. Dude, you're not making a good case about your career choices.

Turn 3

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More helping hands!!! Let's see if anyone carry a staf-

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Welp, I guess those church will have an actual use this run

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Quan ends up being a regular Paladin, which is kind of good since I can attach swords to his OP self and get both pursuit and hopefully Astra in a pinch.

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Ethlyn dropped that troubadour nonsense and went full amazon (with charm utility. I'm actually excited for Leif and Altena).

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And last but rather boring is Fin becoming a Thunder Mage. Critical could end up being amazing but unless Quan toss a Thoron on Ch2 or something I don't see him becoming stellar.

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Sigurd kick the fire mage blocking the way to the west villages

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Meanwhile the rest of the gang sans Azel and Lex start aiming to Jungby to maybe save the speed ring village.

Turn 4

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After getting a little throw around in the enemy phase (mostly Azel since he's actually quite below in terms of damage), I went ahead and critted the fucker while Lex starts chipping his target.

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Bait and switch tactics ensue for the rest of the team.

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Hey, I need that!!!  emot-argh.gif

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Sigurd is finally able to kill a random crook for a level and my god, these levels are a thing of beauty emot-allears.gif

Turn 5 & Enemy Phase

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After I realize most of the team is badly injured I decided to wisely GTFO since getting burn into ashes is not what I call a good plan

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Turn 6 finally comes into the corner: Sigurd just went ahead and poof a brigand while darting towards the last one. Quan goes full gear towards saving the speed ring village while the rest just back off

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I'm really amazed how this game have already put me in a rather hard position and this is just the start of the game for pete's sake

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Next turn I decided to blow all these fools. Fin decided to be a disappointment and miss his shot, so Arden went it for the kill and a really weird level for a thief

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Ethlyn and her newfound ability to run circles around the enemy has prove to be useful by dispatching the last bard in the vicinity. Noish went ahead and park his ass in the tower for some healing before kick the fire mage trying to get the north duo's booty

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Meanwhile, Sigurd and Quan disintegrate the last of the bandits harassing my money the towns. 

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This mountless team really has it rough with these jobbers annoying me to no end

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The final moving fire mage of doom is killed and I decided to cut some footage here since the most exciting parts are done. The next few turns is me:

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Baiting dudes so I can feed experience to everyone and...

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Park my sore rear on the church. I hope you understand why I spare you of this chunk of action

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These are the levels I got while cleaning the room (I also went and share Arden's money with Sigurd since next chapter I can buy whatever with him and I rather cover all options)

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The only one left is poor DiMaggio who left his days as barbarian and decided to hit the books.

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Let's just say Quan had a say about his career choices

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And everyone gets into position before Sigurd finally save Jungby. What happen to Midir? Will the next batch of foes ravage my team? Do I need to stop with these lame questions? (Yes), find out next time!!!

 

Edited by ronlyn

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Prologue, Part 2 - Evans

Spoiler

Funny fact: I went ahead and tried to get Evans immediately after conquering Jungby. I got thrashed REALLY hard and since I'm such a big brain I didn't between those four turns so of course I got different level up after dealing with the initial party stationed in the castle. These are the new level ups:

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There you go. Now back into the game I went ahead and trigger all the talk conversations:

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 MjqyHbV.gif Don't be sorry: That stead was sick and I actually enjoy my new horse

UivElkw.gif I was about to mention the ever impending Invasion to your homeland by Thracia but yeah let's go with that one 

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UivElkw.gif  But that's not the case here. Also, good thing you stopped that nonsense about being a healer, I mean just look at you

whCn0F4.gif  HEY! I'm the wife of the new king of Lenster. Now, If you excuse I'm gonna chop some fools now...HYAAAA!!!

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UivElkw.gif Weren't you supposed to be with your family in a meeting?

41wHP1x.gif Shush you, I'm here to torch some bodies and maybe score a lady and Aideen isn't here

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3reHnZr.gif I just need some time to gather momentum and.....here we goooooo!!!! *runs away*

UivElkw.gif but we already dispatch everyone in that direction.....

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After leaving the speed ring to Alec (mostly because he needs to double to not sucks as much) I put everyone near the next pit stop and conquer Jungby finally

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Oh yeah: Mr. "I got owned by the plot"

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Midir new choice of career is not exactly what I call wise: His Mayor Blood means jack when he wont be capable of wield a single sword in his life. At least pursuit/adept are nice

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In the enemy turn, Gerrard decided to blew any chance of surviving this mess by lowering the bridge AKA the only reason why I haven't bust his whole army

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Also, Arvis decided to say hi to our team. Let's see how he fares:

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I'm already feeling bad about my future self once CH10 kick in

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Going in with the bait and switch strats here: At best I can tank three spells with the same character without losing it and these enemies have a surprising accuracy even factoring charm/forest avoid bonuses

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More backtracking combat later and Sigurd gets his old friend the Silver sword. Game's gotta make sure he's still OP

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More killing and here's me abusing a really forgettable thing about FE4's A.I: They wont engage in combat if they know there's no other units following his charge once they hit a low enough HP amount. Took the chance to heal at the church

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After licking my wounds, I went back and decimated their whole squadron for some rather disappointing level ups (I mean, they got a lot of stats but they need STR/MAG right now)

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Gerrard is all alone and honestly he really pathetic so I decided to:

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Visit all villages including one where this lady is clearly confused: Sigurd is Mayor Dain lady, get your shit together emot-colbert.gif

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Sell Sigurd's Slim Lance so Midir doesn't suck as much

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And get the low level units get some sweet exp from the tin can over here

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After hurling around his body, Azel decided to put an end to his misery and blow him apart with wrath so Sigurd can seize the place

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66 turns too late to be clear. Also #YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle

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Hmm...The NPCs that doesn't do anything are randomized too. Good to know

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UivElkw.gif (Even though I'm a Master of all weapons and spells. But look at his face, I can't be that cruel).

 See you next time with some more shenanigans

Edited by ronlyn

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Ooh, Forseti Arvis, that'll be interesting! Oh, and of course good luck with the run!

Edited by lightcosmo

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OK guys, you may be wondering by now what the hell is going on here and the quick answer is: I had to redo the whole chapter 1 since I didn't test that much past chapter 1 and let's just say the whole gang is a tiny bit TOO OP (By the time I hit Shagaal on CH2 Sigurd hit his caps on most of his stats and all foes were lvl 7-8 at most)

The changes are these:

- Those without holy blood or minor blood in the vanilla game received 320% total growths including their blood bonuses, while the four mayor ones (Sigurd,Quan,Briggid,Claude) got 350%

Units from the prologue:

Spoiler

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- Since my seed is based on enemy growths to enhance the difficulty, I decided to tamper the enemy levels per chapter so everyone is at minimum:

- CH1 ----> lvl 5

- CH2 ----> lvl 10

- CH3 ----> lvl 15

- CH4 ----> lvl 20

- CH5 ----> lvl 25

 

- CH6 ----> lvl  5

- CH7 ----> lvl 10

- CH8 ----> lvl 15

- CH9 ----> lvl 20

- CH10 ----> lvl 25

- Finale ----> lvl  30

 

With that out of the way....Ch1 will be posted in it's entirety tonight

Edited by ronlyn

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Chapter 1, Part 1 - Evans

Spoiler

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Last time, our merry crew send those mages packing to their country but since our princess wasn't in the castle, we must follow those jesters because plot

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Eldigan decides to pay a visit to our protagonist here. After hearing "Some barbarian mages and a bunch of lords decided to raid our kingdom and capture one of our princesses, so we decided to strike back"  he goes back to his own home with more questions than answers.

Meanwhile, in the fortress of evil...

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xJkZAlz.gif So you better keep you part of the bargain or that head of yours wont be there for too long

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Ehh, about that...

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We start the chapter and the real problem about facing this first wave of enemies is the boss himself: Kinbaith is quite the menace with his stats and pursuit/adept since he's a swordmaster. Since most of our party is made of wet paper or they won't survive more than one encounter, Sigurd is tasked with distracting the red flag while the rest of the gang dispatch his goons. The final obstacle is a thief fighter which won't kill Sigurd uless I let it but the enemy thieves have the horrible perk of being able to steal ALL your money without any hopes of retrieve it back if you so happen to be hit, so of course I'm gonna BBQ that asshole 

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I went ahead and hit the arena since a couple of point can make a difference. The shop have a iron lance (almost worthless), two hand axes (worst weapon ever. Only reason to use it is because you axe user won't get another weapon type on promotion) and a wind tome (say hi to Azel). The arena encounters are also included in the enemy improvement program, so I ended up fighting THREE enemies with brave weapons (the last one being the lvl 7 with a brave lance, so I can say without doubt I will not get past that)

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Before going to engage our foes, Quan decides to spar with Fin

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B5zRs21.gif But sir, I'm a magic user I don't need this weapon

MjqyHbV.gif Shut up and face me, ya scrub

After that, Fin gets +1 STR, SKL and DEF for his troubles. Thanks I guess

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Sigurd goes full gear and tries to catch some brigand trying to torch a village (in his own country? emot-psyduck.gif). Everyone else play catch up

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Holy momma, Jamka's a flyer!!!

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Of course you will: I want you in my team pronto

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Gandolf, being the absolute master mind of this whole operation, decided to just send a whole platoon to chase a woman without weapons and a 14 years old mage with somewhat competent abilities while leaving his castle's defense lacking in the defensive department. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed 

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Speaking of them, Aideen decided to follow her destiny as the next hear of Jungby and her class is a testimony to that. Let's see if I can found a husband with pursuit because dang that sol/nihil needs to be put in practice

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Dew meanwhile decides to become proto-nino and completely overshadow my other mages by possessing pursuit and luna on his fine self. Let's hope he gets a horse on promotion

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The struggle starts and Sigurd erase the bandit for a very banging level. Fin follows his example but ends up being minimalist and only score HP and SPD

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Sigurd also get started with Kinbaith in order to both distract his menace to the rest of the gang and actually beat him

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The following turn his whole team gets into my face as I wanted. Mages goes first, leaving the whole aristocracy at my mercy (I'm not exactly an expert, but me thinks you shouldn't send your leaders to the meat grinder if you can avoid it). Sigurd lobs a fireball to Kinbaith and manages to shave his left eyebrow

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So.....much.....MONEY!!!! emot-unsmigghh.gif

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Two turns later, Kinbaith finally gives in and I yoink his sword since he won't need it anymore. Aideen and Dew finally catches up with the party

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Sigurd goes metal gear to try and stop a second bastard trying to grab MY money. 

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After some hard thinking, the votes were counted and Arden was designated as the bait since he's the buttmonkey

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The hot chick eats the whole thing and goes up while Sigurd goes behind her back and start burning the whole place in hopes to conquer it. Marpha's captain is left alive since it means more reinforcements will come out to get killed off and I need that experience

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I actually end up taking three turns to finish the goons in the castle, so Arden was in danger more that I would want him to (For reference, Aira can activate Astra at any chance, still has a 28% chance of hitting and he could die in two hits without backup and Aideen was needed elsewhere) but I seize the place to find....

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UivElkw.gif Ok kid, what's your deal?

JVxMN50.gif I'm getting used as a bargain chip so my auntie works with these jobbers for my safety. BTW I'm the next heir to the throne of Isacch

UivElkw.gif I see.Well then, I'm gonna inform your auntie of this whole mess...after taking a nap: I'm pretty sure Arden can hold her up for a little longer

Meanwhile

ZejxJ1Q.gif I-I know we didnt start in the best of terms, but can you please stop swinging that giant axe and let me talk for a bit?!?

xJkZAlz.gif JUST SHUT UP AND GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!!!!!

 

Edited by ronlyn

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Chapter 1, Part 2 - Marpha

Spoiler

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Last time, we secure Evans and managed to get reunited with Aideen in the process. Since our team doesn't know what retreat means, we're gonna thrash this whole country before getting back to Chalphy

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Before going in, here's yet another conversation:

gFPITpe.gif What a nice staff, where did you find it?

1teEhuU.gif A bald priest was asking me for directions about some place called "Archanea" and dropped this

gFPITpe.gif Dew, that's disgusting and unappropriated!!!

1teEhuU.gif Will you give it back then?

gFPITpe.gif Of course not: Finders Keepers!!!

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Farming device have been secured

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Things get complicated: Some dude called Elliot and his army of mounted units decided to raid our castle, and Aira catches winds of Evans conquest (somehow....I'm pretty sure everyone's death in there) and goes back straight into Sigurd's path

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UivElkw.gif The kid spilled the beans about you whole situation and I only wanted to ask where I could dump him

xJkZAlz.gif That's Shannan alright. I'm so gonna smack him once I get back to him, but in the meanwhile let me serve in your army as compensation

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Aira lost her pursuit in exchange for the really inferior ambush. Since her blood is different, now is quite possible to miss SKL in her lvl ups and she actually needs astra to kill reliably. At least her kids will be amazing if I choose her husband wisely  

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Eldigan decides to be a bro and protect our rear from this Elliot fellow

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Not that he had a chance against the Cross Knights alone (Eldigan doesn't count, he WILL eliminate anything in his way)

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After experiencing the world most one-sided fight ever, Elliot does the sensible thing and goes running while crying back from where it came. I bet he's crying while explaining to his father this whole situation

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Here some final levels before the commander meets a gruesome death by being tear apart by a young adult

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Sigurd decides to catch up with Aideen before going back to conquering Marpha:

gFPITpe.gif Thanks for your concern, but as for now I will follow your party since I need to find my sister

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*runs offscreen*

UivElkw.gif Aideen wait, that's not a b- Aaaand she's gone. Welp it's not my problem now

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Gandolf final stand consist mostly of some sword users and three brigand that were smart enough to not rush to their death but dumb enough to stay in our way.

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The carnage begins. Arden had a field day with those jokes trying to hit him and giving him their lunch money instead

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Gandolf once alone, gets completely surrounded and chipped for all that he's worth ( A LOT since he's lvl 20)

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Some money management down the line and Fin gets the kill to grant him the skill ring: He doesn't have pursuit so he needs all the chances he can get to crit everything in sight for ludicrous damage

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Seizing Marpha gives this little gem:

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Take a bath and I maybe think about it. Oh wait, that's still a NO you frigging pervert!!!

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UivElkw.gif Ehem, I'm a Master Knight but that's another topic now get the hell out of here!!!

*runs away*

W5KF2yv.gif Thank you

UivElkw.gif It was my pleasure (Holy Jugdral she so beautiful. Quickly, make a move)

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W5KF2yv.gif (Poor thing...I give him 3/5 since he has good looks)

And with that note, we set out sights to Verdane's main castle...next time

 

 

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Chapter 1, Part 3 - Verdane

Spoiler

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Last time, Sigurd managed to kick the garbage out of Gandolf and also failed to woo a lady. With that out of way....

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bsTGZ7I.gif Be a good boy and die- I mean, fight for you country's sake

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ZB8M65f.gif I mean just look at him: The Chalphys are the real bad guys here

5WHkmzp.gif Ugh, I swear to god if I ever come back here I'm taking you out Sandima!!!

*run off*

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bsTGZ7I.gif Spoiler alert: I'm the bad guy *stab*

ZB8M65f.gif Ahhh....I didn't see that one coming *drop to the floor*

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I must say: If your whole plan to revive the dark god depends on incest, maybe said god isn't worth the problem in the first place. Hell, you haven been doing a perfect job manipulating these goons to do your bidding.

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Leaving the plot aside, our final confrontation pits us against more mages and Sandima himself who got buffed a little thanks to the new growths going around.

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I was about to try a harmless engage with Janka but with his newfound mount and Aideen's 6 move, he recruited himself basically.

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Jamka comes packing some heat in the form of a barrier sword which is kind of nice since his resistance really sucks. Pursuit and Vantage are part of his tools so I guess he can be a good father if only because he will let his kids double without brave weapons.

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And now, we have in our hands the world most boring encounter ever: Sigurd and his newfound ability to wield tomes means I can park his ass in the bottleneck and watch as those helpless mages get chipped and dispatched by the rest of the team until not a single one is left standing. At least in the meantime I found to my surprising that hunter can traverse thick forest tiles 

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Here are the fruits of my efforts

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Buried the bodies of the fallen, Sigurd goes ahead a trigger an scene:

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What tipped you off? The old man telling you the whole deal or the fact this was the general direction all the rest of your campaign saw her going last time?

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UivElkw.gif Sorry to interrupt you, but that's a magic tome

W5KF2yv.gif What? *sees her bag* Darn it, I left the thing back at home

UivElkw.gif That aside, why are you helping me?

W5KF2yv.gif To be honest, I really don't have a clue but since I say you (and you rather goofy attempt at wooing me) I can't get you out of my mind

UivElkw.gif Normally, I would call fool play and start suspecting your intentions...

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Wow...And I thought Leon & Ada romance was out of the blue: You guys just saw each other for like fifteen minutes...tops and you're already engaged

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Leaving this dumb plot aside, Deirdre enters the field with some rather amazing growths and skills that would make her vanilla self scream in envy. Her new class means she loses staffs in exchange for a far better chance at killing stuff which I appreciate with the changes I made. The bad thing? Since her silence staff is god knows where, Sandima will sling those Fenrirs without any kind of obstacle.

While crossing the forest, I got several conversations going on:

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xJkZAlz.gif Just to be clear: I'm here to honor my word to Sigurd and I really don't care about any single one of you

MjqyHbV.gif Hah, you're exactly as Mariccle described you

xJkZAlz.gif Did you-!?

MjqyHbV.gif Yes, I knew you brother personally and it's truly a shame we lost someone as him thanks to this war

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gFPITpe.gif Here, you can grab this *hand over levin sword*

whCn0F4.gif Hey thanks! but wait a minute, if you had this on you why didnt you defend yourself against these dunces?

gFPITpe.gif That is a good question...Anyways, let's get going now!!!

whCn0F4.gif ...

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After getting out of that green hell, I opted for baiting Sandima's army out of his range and eventually toss Deirdre into the miss since I'm 100% she will clean house with that sexy Nosferatu of hers. Lex goes ahead and trigger an event

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That's nice and all lady, but I dropped a sword in there

What an honest person. Here you have the sword you dropped and another one to spare

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Neat

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After Deirdre chip every mage out there for a good chunk of their hp, we send in the whole party to grab some exp and lvls.

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Sandima wasn't exactly hard to deal with: Azel went ahead and baited his fenrir, Sigurd enter the field and completely thrash his ass so Azel could deal the final blow and grab the magic ring

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And with that out of the way, Aideen gets to spam her warp in order to get some more arena skirmishes out of the way. Jamka and Dew grab the villages since they are in need of some money

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I'm quite proud of my team now: Yeah I had to rigged some of the encounter but doesn't in this game?

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The only ones who stinks and should reevaluate their life choices are these two bozos over here

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The one that went far and beyond however was Aideen. Being the only healer do wonders to your level

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and after 78 turns (20 of them expend in that darned forest) we are done with CH1

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ZB8M65f.gif Remember Sigurd: Never trust someone completely cloak in black and with half of his face obscure for the view *dies*

And with that silly note, chapter one comes to an end. See you next time

 

Edited by ronlyn

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Can someone please delete these empty posts? don't know why but I cannot edit stuff with links at all (-_-)lll

Edited by ronlyn

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Spoiler

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Since the story isn't exactly why we're here, have the abridge version of the narrator stuff:

"Sigurd managed to conquer Verdane while rescue Aideen of Jungby and everything was cool and dandy...except not: Agustria saw these events and decided to invade Grannvale because of shit and giggles. Eldigan being the biggest of bros went to talk with the newly appointed King Chaggal ,who definitely didnt kill his father to take the throne. Shenanigans ensues..." 

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Ohh boy, here we go again

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VzBKmWy.gif Don't be ridiculous Raquesis: The only evidence is a knife, a bloody carpet and the new king covered in blood after the whole they discovered the body. There's nothing that points towards the culprit

fI33n6x.gif Brother, are you hearing what you're saying?!?

VzBKmWy.gif Sorry sis I'm busy moving to Agustria, see ya soon!!!!

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Eldigan for the next Judgral olympics

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He must feel dumb after telling Chagall that one time that his nose look atrocious 

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OH NO, what a shocking turn of events. I'm quite sure no one saw that coming emot-downs.gif

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Chances of him actually succeeding after meeting us: 0.005% and going down

Meanwhile in Nodion....

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OjujMpD.gif Not only that: Heirhein has it's army set upon our turf and we're kind of lacking in man power, what are your orders princess?

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I like how Raquesis is a weird mix between Lilina and Serra: She know her responsibilities but my god, her priorities are kind of laughable all the time

Meanwhile in Heirhein...

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Predictable. Back at our castle....

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W5KF2yv.gif Ok then. I'll go with you

UivElkw.gif Of course not: You're just a powerful bard with extraordinaire abilities and a life sucking book which means you won't die unless you break it aaaaand I feel dumb after saying all that loud. emot-sweatdrop.gif

W5KF2yv.gif Milord, I'm not leaving your side and that's my final decision: I'm having this weird feeling that someone wants to take from you and I'm scare. Please just let me be with you... 

UivElkw.gif Ok....But don't ever leave my side!!!

W5KF2yv.gif I won't!

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And with that over let's take a look at our new allies: The Nodion Trio is kinda OP now since they got rolled into classes with pursuit so my only concern is Raquesis getting killed 

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Elliot platoon is composed of three lance knights and a bunch of barbarians who got lost from Verdane aparently

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Heirhein's defenses are composed of Phillip who managed to secure himself a horse. Sadly the rest of his army are kind of poor and they will get dropped like wet rags as soon someone bait him

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And this is without including these bozos being completely useless outside of more money for the team

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Finally, we have some princes defending Bordeaux. I must say...thanks for the new translation I now cannot take seriously some of these bosses anymore (this was even before I edited the man to fit his name)

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Time for some management: Elthunder goes with Fin, the Steel bow to Alec so he doesn't suck as much, the warp staff change hands between Aideen and Noish so these two avoid using the Elite ring once it's available. Finally both Ethlyn and Lex sell some of their stuff since the former will get a better magic weapon and the latter only needs his silver sword

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W5KF2yv.gif Here, you can have this

whCn0F4.gif A Light sword?!? Thanks a lot. My brother did catch a good deal this time

W5KF2yv.gif Hehehe, I just do what I can

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I won't show all the time I'll gonna lose in this chapter, so let's see the highlights

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Dang, the creepy detector is off the charts 

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"I'm defending"

"I'm robbing"

"I'm just there"

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The good news: The trio can destroy these poor bastards without receiving damage most of the time

The bad news: They are stealing both the EXP and money. Pricks

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Since Raquesis doesn't know when to shut her mouth I recruited her to stop that. Everyone with a horse went ahead and put a pointless wall since the Nodion trio went ahead and annihilate everything since the dopes decided to aim them on their turn.

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Speaking of Raquesis: She became the Ethlyn of this seed with those growths. That fantastic resistance means if I play my cards right I'm getting some mage killers in the 2nd generation

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Back on topic: All my efforts go towards dealing with Elliot to avoid him finish off Raquesis. Jamka gets his javelin to help him chip people in the near future

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After that, Sigurd gets his fine self in range of Phillip to both jump on him and avoid getting swarmed by his team (specially that dangerous brave axe barbarian)

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Even though he got hurl around, Sigurd deals enough damage for Aira to deliver the final blow for a very Lex lvl up. 

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The rest of the gang start suppressing the enemy lackeys making sure that commander doesn't have a chance to swing that brave axe in our face. Some of my foot units manage to catch up and start pulling some numbers there

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With their defenses in crumbles, Sigurd, Quan and Ethlyn went ahead and start working on defeating the boss as fast as they can.

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Two turns later (filled with extreme healing), Bordeaux breath his last and we get to seize the throne

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53HlGAw.gif Does that means we're gonna retreat back to the castle?

UivElkw.gif Of course not: I'm pretty sure if I talk with the king he will back off. Now, let's go and conquer ANOTHER castle for no reason outside of no making a case for myself!!! 

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Before ending this update: Dew have a talk with Raquesis and lend her a peculiar sword with her thanking him for the effort. Because the best gift you can give to a princess is a sword that let her plunder people and jank their money from their pockets in the process

Chapter 2, Part 1 - Heirhein

Edited by ronlyn

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Chapter 2, Part 2 - Anphony

Spoiler

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Last time, we kicked the french out of our law and we decided why not also take Anphony out of the picture

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This leads to Chagall asking this smartass why we're running around impeded

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His solution? keep mugging the villages, wait for some mercenaries down the road and make sure his castle get siege as soon we get up there because of the last two. I know I'm not the only one asking this but I must point it out: How is this country NOT dumped into poverty with these schmucks ruining everything?

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Lewyn x Sylvia in a nutshell

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Back to the gameplay: The border patrol decided to immediately GTFO and then come back because the AI is silly like that. Anphony defenses consist of some brigands hired to hold the line because competent and reliable are words banned in Agustria.

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The real kick is this beauty here: I can see all the others reclasses work in universe, but this one is stretching it too far  emot-colbert.gif

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Lewyn and Sylvia unceremoniously join the team (although it seems is more like Lewyn escaping from Sylvia by joining us)

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Lewyn brings some heat in his spells by having pursuit now at the cost of critical (not a problem since most holy weapons OHKO anyways). His mayor Tordo means we're getting Thorhammer  getin.001.gif

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Since Dancers can net you some bugs if randomized, Sylvia's big change is that now she can actually fight without too much problem. Charm means we got FOUR charisma bots in the second generation which is really nice with the numbers we're seeing here

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Lewyn and Sylvia start flexing their new abilities by annihilating two brigands. Jamka also get on his groove and saves the last village.

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Macbeth's only hope stops being frigging lazy and move out to engage our team. This arrangement is actually more annoying than the vanilla self since Waltz got the upgrade in equipment and his lackeys will employ hit and run tactics. Oh and there's also a lost brigand among his troops who probably just got lost

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In some random beach....

ZejxJ1Q.gif He also telling me to stop doing so much noise when approaching the enemy and get back to defend the castle. I don't know what's up with that, I'm not an armor!!!

ZejxJ1Q.gif Wait a sec, there's an item over there...and the power of Pursuit emanate from it!!!

For once I'll let Arden keep his ring (ejem, I mean band) since more hits are more chances to grab someone's lunch money  smile.gif

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Deirdre being the absolute monster that she is now, will bait a good chunks of enemies in this part

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Raquesis get to steal some money before backing off injured since horses aren't know for excel at sneaking on people. The other mages get dibs into the enemy and we get to really nice levels out of it. if things keeps up Aideen will be the first one to promote (as always)

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Two turns later, I choke the canyon with the OTP pairing since Deirdre has the perfect defense/hit points ratio to activate the perfect prayer, leaving those fools attacking her fine self on death's door

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Even the boss cannot surpass the cheese. Also, have a random level up here

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Next player phase, I kill/chip the enemies around before Deirdre gets the final hit on the boss, netting her the paragon band. Unlike vanilla, she cannot spam staffs so I will need some help to promote her (Yes, since her class changed she can promote)

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Some cleaning later and we're down to four arch knights

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Oh sorry, I mean TWO arch knights: The last two decided to dive bomb into Deirdre

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The final two are quickly dispatch and the weird axe user decides to take his chances against the world. Maybe we can set this predicament peacefully

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And by that I mean SIGURD will pay for his services. Look and see the ONLY recruitment in this entire franchise where the money and reason are quite sensible for the game 

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Beowulf is generic. He's yet another axe user in a team full of them and with the extra of lacking a horse to ease the pain of promote him. At least Miracle will carry him in the arena

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Lewyn finally catches up with the gang after running from Sylvia and have a chat with Sigurd:

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UivElkw.gif I don't think so

fENGA8k.gif Excuse me?

UivElkw.gif If I leave, my friend will die and any chance of restoring peace with him

fENGA8k.gif What about the people?

UivElkw.gif One of my troops came back and told me Anphony's Marquess send thugs to destroy the villages, but a wandering bard and his striperiffic dancer chase them off. I assumed the former is you

fENGA8k.gif You got guts and brain...I like that, so let me help you with this mess

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fENGA8k.gif Also, could you PLEASE send me to your castle? I'm really trying to shake off that dancer and she's quite fast actually

UivElkw.gif I don't make promises

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AND ANOTHER ONE:

MjqyHbV.gif Since things are getting hectic, you can have this

B5zRs21.gif Thank you milor- is that a thunder tome?

MjqyHbV.gif Yes, why you ask?

B5zRs21.gif I got one here sir

MjqyHbV.gif And this is a new one. You're welcome

B5zRs21.gif ...

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Quan has a really good streak of bad gifts this run (To be fair, this should be a sensible gift since how in hell does a blacksmith repair a book infused with magic? Hammer it?)

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Back to the game, since we got a good chunk of money without too much risk, I set things up so Arden receive the full brunt of Macbeth's forces inside the forest just outside of the castle

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Some time later and everything's dead. 

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Before whaling on the boss, we get everyone's patch up and Noish starts spamming that warp staff to get some nice exp and reduce my exasperation at dealing with this really bad map design 

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94zptm6.gif Shut up you mongrel: I will end you along that knight!!!

fENGA8k.gif Here, let me grant you a nice send off:  "It is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."

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Some chips here and there for some people to get a level and Sigurd goes full pair up with his sis for amazing damage emot-allears.gif

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The kill goes to Lex along with the ring since having a armor knight with wet paper for armor is kind of embarassing

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Before seizing, everyone and their mother expend several turns getting in position for the next bit of conflict between Agustria (I hope you didn't expect Sigurd to stop his kill streak)

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pJo5WXq.gif There's some rumors around the court about certain events transpiring years before, but I guess you don't have the time for hearing this nonsense...

UivElkw.gif You're right, I will hear your message lat-

pJo5WXq.gif Well, If you insist!!!!

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pJo5WXq.gif Lord Viktor of Velthomer was a ladies man and he snatched all the booty he could afford, while prince Kurth dedicated his life to absorb all the knowledge in his personal library like the nerd he is. One day, Viktor found a white haired lady called Cygun and made her his wife. One year later, he tapped her so hard that she escaped from his grasp into Kurth's hands when the two of them fell in love because Disney says so. When this affair was revealed to Viktor, he decided to impregnate a maid, write a letter and commit suicide like the drama queen he was. Cygun didn't take this well and leave behind the whole thing, while leaving her son, Arvis behind to endure the bulllying that befall an orphan in any era

UivElkw.gif What an...interesting story, but in which way this will improve my predicament?

pJo5WXq.gif In no way whatsoever. Have a nice day!!!!

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And with that note, I'll see you next time. 

 

Edited by ronlyn

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Chapter 2, Part 3 - Mackily

Spoiler

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Last time we manage to subdue Anphony by choke a mountain pass with a silver haired bard and rob every single axe user with our trusty Arden. Now let's get over this doozy stuff

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Our robbed man here has come to realize that being a douche and don't send any reinforcements to deter our advance wasn't the best of moves so he decides to do the same his predecessors and completely disregard any dialogue in favor of sheer violence

Meanwhile, in Agustria Castle...

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This chick right here is the very reason why most sane people don't send their most promising retainer to a extract mission in a foreign territory: What they excels at is completely overshadow by their streets dumb mentality

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Awww, he thinks he has an actual chance even though we just took half his country in like two hours 

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kingsley.gif Where did that come from?!?

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Our next pit stop is quite easy to deal with: The arch knights and fire mages are a nuisance with the team I got now and the armors cannot tanks as much since I got s good size of magic on my side (BTW, the bow armor have the same stats than his axe counterpart). Clement is quite the piece of work and I'm deciding how I'm gonna blow his ass out of the park without using Sigurd

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Agustria also send these two small platoons who can potentially ruin my day if deal with along the mentioned enemies, so everyone will chill out for the time being. Shot out for the Dark bishop since those come with Pursuit and my god they are quite the pain to deal with

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Alec & Jamka get to decimate those ballistae while Jamka also chip some armors to ease the killing part later down the line. 

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Noish sends Lewyn to deal with that piece of work going straight to my castle with Jamka tailing back there too. Lex and the Shield ring decide to play the taunting game with some rather good results since miracle is quite broken when use right

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The next turn, the party gets dibs on the targets for some levels. Special mention to Beowulf since his color scheme is way too regal for a brigand that walks like a crab  crab.001.png

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A few turns later, everyone back off and let Deirdre do her jam with the newcoming menace. Nosferatu is the gift that keeps giving 

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Next turn everything is erased immediately. If you're asking why there are so little footage of these encounters is because bait & switch is the only viable tactic with the enemy just rocking those impressing stats (even for a team composed of badasses like Deirdre)

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While these events transpire, back at the base I found out Jamka was unnecessary since Lewyn just fried some wyvern wings for lunch before talking with the green haired lady

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fENGA8k.gif These are just for conceal myself. Now, can you tell me why I got some fried lizards at my door, hm?

I1UM7sS.gif Chagall told me you were a prisoner held by the Grannvale's troops

fENGA8k.gif Why I'm not suprised? Erin, that man's face screams "I'm the bad guy" everywhere, why did you listen to his lies without seeing the other side of the deal?

I1UM7sS.gif I didn't want to label him as per Silesse customs "everyone's innocent until proved guilty" is the way the army rules their actions

fENGA8k.gif Ahhh what I ever gonna do with you? Since it's obvious you're coming for me, I guess you can tag along for the time being until everything calm down here

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I guess she found a delivery company somewhere? because I'm pretty sure her friends are quite dead emot-downs.gif

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back to topic, Erin is quite the case: You don't get to realize how good her bases are until you reclass her and found this monster. She's also the only unit with problems in animation since her class was never meant to be in the game (when she attacks is like a ballista goes of instead of a real animation). I will change that later just in case this leads to a error.

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Alec once against abuse his newfound ability to walk thick forests to bait people into their messy death for the RNG gods. Raquesis still rocking that horse for the time being while keeping out since Eva likes to be a jerk and rob MY money

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Some baiting a leveling later, we're left alone with Clement himself...

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Which Aideen foes to say hi to get her final level before promotion. I guess next part will be more interesting

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Deirdre abuse the two charisma bots I got here to reduce his hp to critical to ensure Raquesis can murder him with style in order to borrow that Physic staff. Sigurd Seize the place and we get a generic convo before this part ends. I normally don't butcher these as much but my god emot-effort.gif  is not a thing here for how doozy this map is in his 2nd half.

Let's hope the finale goes without a hinch

 

Edited by ronlyn

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Chapter 2, Part 4 - Agustria

Spoiler

Ok, before I get torched or something let me explain myself: I'm currently about to graduate from the university and let's just say after this week I will toss all my worries to the trash can. Besides I had to repeat the last two turns before killing Clement if only because it seems that the randomizer put a fixed amount of uses in all items which result in me having a 50 uses physic staff. I ended up changing that to a steel sword and carry on.

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Here's some footage of all changes. Back to the game

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Aideen is send back to the castle and promotes into a Paladin. She lost some magic in the process but I don't mind since the real boon is having a healer with a horse AND good stats

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Next enemy phase...

5nkWD1g.gif But sir, they loving killed all of our men without as much as a break. Why I must go alone?

gAsnInd.gif That's because I will be busy planning out what will be my next move, now scram you coward!

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Good, I'm not even in the game and I know he just soiled his pants after saying that

Back in the castle

gAsnInd.gif *running while flailing his hands* MAAAAANFLOOOOY!!!!

MRRiwRE.gif Yes sir?

gAsnInd.gif I have no idea how to stop Sigurd and he will definitely take my throne if he gets here, What now!?

MRRiwRE.gif Maybe you should talk with you war prisoner and make him slow down Sigurd's rampage

gAsnInd.gif B-But he insulted my nose!!!

MRRiwRE.gif Sir, it's either that or getting your face reinvented by Sigurd's Flame

gAsnInd.gif UGH, FINE!!! *storms off the room*

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Again Manfloy, why do you need a dark god in the first place when you whole clan can outright delete people from the planet while you chew some popcorn? 

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Our final test is against enemies that would be a problem if they started next to us. Being that far away means I need to bother with trigger their aggro and nothing more

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Well...this reclass explain why he's so whiny and bitchy

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Since things will be dull until we make contact with the enemy, let's have some conversations:

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UfN5W1D.gif I will get off the field...if you come with me on a date

UivElkw.gif I don't know what's cracking on that head of yours but I'm married

UfN5W1D.gif She doesn't need to know ❤️❤️❤️

W5KF2yv.gif I can hear you, ya slut!!! And I hope you don't considering answer to her request or I will suck the life out of you and not in the funny way!!!

UivElkw.gif For baldo's sake, just go away before I get killed

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Poor Sigurd, he's not aware of Judgral's popularity pools

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Since Sylvia wasn't cringe enough, here we have Alec picking up the ante:


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UfN5W1D.gif See you soon, handsome ❤️❤️❤️   *walks away*

EQUG3EJ.gif Yeah, one point to the green erotica!!!

HZYUFhp.gif emot-colbert.gif

EQUG3EJ.gif What now, Noish?

HZYUFhp.gif Alec, I think she still wear diapers

EQUG3EJ.gif And soon I will cover her with a white cloth and my body ❤️❤️❤️

HZYUFhp.gif Ugh, you're really disgusting

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Leaving that...colorful event behind, have some actual lore:

I1UM7sS.gif I'm the youngest of the Four Angelic Knights of Silesse and I'm guarding my prince

UivElkw.gif Wait, I don't recall sending a help request to Silesse

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UivElkw.gif Well then, I assume you will also take commands from me, right?

I1UM7sS.gif Yes sir, I am yours to command

UivElkw.gif Then, first order of the day: Chase away that girl coming this way

I1UM7sS.gif I beg your pardon?

UivElkw.gif LookatthetimeImustrallymytroops *run away*

I1UM7sS.gif Why I feel like I got involved into something weird again? emot-sigh.gif

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And last, we have Beowulf giving some advice to our princess here:

*Kick him in nads*

BQ6SM1j.gif UGH, you brother was right: You're a tough customer

fI33n6x.gif That's right, you simplet- wait you know Eldigan?

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BQ6SM1j.gif Although with those legs you barely need my help

fI33n6x.gif Cut the yapping and get going before I do nail that mouth of yours

And with that exchange, Raquesis got +2 STR, +1 SKL and +1 DEF

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Deirdre once again do the honors and start chipping units (and by that I mean almost one shot them since she's a monster). Sadly even with bonus evasion, Alec generally sucks and we need to pull back

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Some arrangements and Arden net himself a flame sword along some cash. Because there's nothing better than nab someone's purse from five meters apart

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Raquesis sells her Miracle sword if only because next chapter she can abuse that paragon band to it's full extend

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Some backflips later, Arder once again toss his money to someone else before cashing big time with the next enemy formation protecting the castle

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After deal with them, Sylvia and Sigurd do their thing and now there's no more opposition between us and Chagall

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this translate into "Get everyone back to the base" and Noish make that possible in a reasonable time frame. The mounted units take the long path if only because I will not cheese the warp staff as much as I can because challenge. The arena encounters are mostly harmless except for the fourth one packing a horseslayer that delete Raquesis all the time and the fifth one being a huge jerk with that brave lance.

Something peculiar happens when the last one is defeat however

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W5KF2yv.gif Not really: I just needed some cash to fancy myself once this is over

wm3XOf8.gif ...Anyways, I will tag along with your army

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Holyn join without any warning and once again, axes are just fucking useless let alone a mountless axe user. At least his growths/Holy Blood can let him become an amazing parent 

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Deirdre finally let go that paragon band so I can spread the love. Sigurd take only two turns to waste Chagall like the delicate flower he is both figuratively and literally

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We get a Steel axe for the nonexistence boss fight and I get to finally understand what the pairings say when joined back at the castle: Pure filler dialogue 

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Erin goes back to the villages to stuff herself with enough money to grab the paragon band while Noish borrow Ayra's return ring to back off and promote into the awesome Dark druid class. Highlights of the villages include:

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Why don't just overthrown that jackass and be over it? I mean, even my two years old niece would wipe the floor with Chagall

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See? This country deserve being invaded/destroyed by their royalty if only because people is frigging lazy

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You know the phrase: "Incest is the best, put your sister to the test!" emot-suicide.gif

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Here's the final stats before seize this clusterfest of a chapter

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The loyal knights of Nordion, being so devote to their princess, toss her a ring and dump her in Sigurd's hands

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UivElkw.gif Eldigan, you're out!!!

VzBKmWy.gif Yes, and my hair is blonde Captain obvious

UivElkw.gif Well, excuse me for ruffle your feathers, drama queen: You were in danger

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UivElkw.gif *shrug*

VzBKmWy.gif Don't you dare telling me that you don't know!!!

UivElkw.gif I don't know, Eldigan: Three hours before I was very comfy in my castle and suddenly I found myself owning half a country while having a death count that would make the dark sect quake their feet, a prince from a foreign country and his retainer, a striperiffic dancer that doesn't go away, your sister and a friend of yours arguing in back, hell I even got a new recruit not too long ago and his whole explanation is that he got a boner after getting kicked by my wife!!!

VzBKmWy.gif ...Are you alright, pal?

UivElkw.gif Just...give me a year and I'll solve this whole mess. I promise I will get out of here

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And we're finally done with Chapter 2. Next time, we're gonna do an actually fun chapter for a change

Edited by ronlyn

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