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I hope my friend pulls through.


XRay
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I think this might be my first time making a post in this part of the forums. I would normally post in FFTF, but I am not sure if this is appropriate to post there. My friend got into a car accident about 3 weeks ago, and he has not woken up since then. I do not want to go into too much detail to preserve his family's privacy. I just got news that his family might pull the plug this Friday or Saturday.

I am kind of at a loss right now. I have been in denial for the last three weeks hoping he will make it despite showing no signs of improvement. I cried a little, but I somehow managed to calm down for now, although thinking about him makes my eyes wet again. I could not be in his hospital room too long whenever I visit because I could not stand being there. Seeing him in his condition hurts.

One of our mutual friends already lost her college friend a few years ago, so she may have to go through grief again in such a short time.

I kind of want to literally slap that asshole on the face or pinch his nose to wake him up, but I do not think that is a good idea, although it does sound kind of funny.

Our group of friends and I will stay a night or two in the hospital over the weekend. I want him to wake up in time so I do not have to say goodbye. I think I might even offer an arm and leg at this point if that is what it costs to wake him up.

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7 minutes ago, XRay said:

I think this might be my first time making a post in this part of the forums. I would normally post in FFTF, but I am not sure if this is appropriate to post there. My friend got into a car accident about 3 weeks ago, and he has not woken up since then. I do not want to go into too much detail to preserve his family's privacy. I just got news that his family might pull the plug this Friday or Saturday.

I am kind of at a loss right now. I have been in denial for the last three weeks hoping he will make it despite showing no signs of improvement. I cried a little, but I somehow managed to calm down for now, although thinking about him makes my eyes wet again. I could not be in his hospital room too long whenever I visit because I could not stand being there. Seeing him in his condition hurts.

One of our mutual friends already lost her college friend a few years ago, so she may have to go through grief again in such a short time.

I kind of want to literally slap that asshole on the face or pinch his nose to wake him up, but I do not think that is a good idea, although it does sound kind of funny.

Our group of friends and I will stay a night or two in the hospital over the weekend. I want him to wake up in time so I do not have to say goodbye. I think I might even offer an arm and leg at this point if that is what it costs to wake him up.

I don't know how much you've researched the subject, but there have been very few cases of those in a vegetative state waking up. However, there are also articles here and there online about people in a catatonic state awakening (if only for a brief period). There may be hope for your friend, but if there is not, then you should go, pay your respects.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9215-sleeping-pill-may-rouse-coma-patients/

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A family shouldn't pull the plug on a comatose family member unless they're told by doctors that this person is brain-dead or will absolutely never wake up for some other reason. Otherwise, there's ALWAYS a chance. They're being too hasty. 😕

But I kind of know how you feel, given that I suddenly lost my younger brother four years ago to suicide. It's not at all easy to lose someone you're close to so quickly like that. I really do hope your friend wakes.

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3 minutes ago, Xander said:

I don't know how much you've researched the subject, but there have been very few cases of those in a vegetative state waking up. However, there are also articles here and there online about people in a catatonic state awakening (if only for a brief period). There may be hope for your friend, but if there is not, then you should go, pay your respects.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9215-sleeping-pill-may-rouse-coma-patients/

1 minute ago, Anacybele said:

A family shouldn't pull the plug on a comatose family member unless they're told by doctors that this person is brain-dead or will absolutely never wake up for some other reason. Otherwise, there's ALWAYS a chance. They're being too hasty. 😕

But I kind of know how you feel, given that I suddenly lost my younger brother four years ago to suicide. It's not at all easy to lose someone you're close to so quickly like that. I really do hope your friend wakes.

Thanks. From what I know, he got severe head trauma. It is so bad that he has difficulty breathing (he is dependent on a breathing machine) and his heart is beating kind of fast. His brain can barely manage to keep his organs functioning right now. I am hoping he wakes up, but even if he does, we are not even sure if his mental capacity is still there since his ability to regulate his body is already very weak.

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Aww. Dang this sucks. That's all I can say that hasn't been said, sending good vibes.

@Anacybele Also, if they will wake up but won't be able to do anything on their own ever again. Like if they will wake up but will be kept alive by machines, I think that's a good reason to let them go. Nobody wants to live like that.

Edited by Dragoncat
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11 minutes ago, XRay said:

Thanks. From what I know, he got severe head trauma. It is so bad that he has difficulty breathing (he is dependent on a breathing machine) and his heart is beating kind of fast. His brain can barely manage to keep his organs functioning right now. I am hoping he wakes up, but even if he does, we are not even sure if his mental capacity is still there since his ability to regulate his body is already very weak.

Yeah. I've never known anyone who's in a coma or been in one, but if there's any chance at all, wait and see. You could find that your friend will make a complete recovery. Miracles HAVE happened. And then you'd be very glad you waited.

5 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Also, if they will wake up but won't be able to do anything on their own ever again. Like if they will wake up but will be kept alive by machines, I think that's a good reason to let them go. Nobody wants to live like that.

In that case, sure. But if there's a chance he'll wake up and be even relatively normal, well, yeah.

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2 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

In that case, sure. But if there's a chance he'll wake up and be even relatively normal, well, yeah.

If he's having issues with regulating his involuntary functions (stuff like heartbeat), I wouldn't get your hopes up.

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3 minutes ago, eclipse said:

If he's having issues with regulating his involuntary functions (stuff like heartbeat), I wouldn't get your hopes up.

I can't argue with that, yeah. Really unfortunate.

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I am sorry for your friend and you.  I hope a miracle happens here, but when your time is up your time is up and no one can stop the flow of time and fate.  

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2 hours ago, EricaofRenais said:

when your time is up your time is up and no one can stop the flow of time and fate.  

This reminds me of (minor Three Houses spoilers just in case)

Spoiler

Jeralt's death. Byleth had Divine Pulse and attempted, but it was Jeralt's time, apparently.

Just the way you worded it, you know?

It's a good point too. If a miracle doesn't happen, XRay, it means his time was up for whatever reason :(

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I'll be honest- I don't have much experience with friends and loved ones dying. So there's not really a lot of advice I can offer in this situation.

I sincerely hope your friend wakes up before Saturday. If the worst does come to pass, my regards to you and his family.

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Thanks for all the sentiment. I just wish he wakes up and does not have to go so soon. There is so much more we have not done yet as a group of friends. He has not even experienced romance. I do not think he has even opened the PG Gundam I gave him.

In the worst case scenario, I guess it just means I will see him again in 70 or so years when it is my turn to go.

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Just a small update. The family pulled the plug on the breathing machine, but the good news is that my friend is still alive and seems to be able to breathe on his own for now, so they plan to keep him alive for a bit longer. They gave him lots of morphine just in case he is conscious. Every time he coughs he opens his eyes, and every time he does that it gave me false hope for a moment that he might finally be awake. It feels a little unsettling seeing his eyes when it is open because it feels empty and soulless. I just hope the next time I see his eyes open that he will actually be awake and not just a bodily reflex.

My friend is alive, and I guess I can be content with that for now.

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46 minutes ago, XRay said:

Just a small update. The family pulled the plug on the breathing machine, but the good news is that my friend is still alive and seems to be able to breathe on his own for now, so they plan to keep him alive for a bit longer. They gave him lots of morphine just in case he is conscious. Every time he coughs he opens his eyes, and every time he does that it gave me false hope for a moment that he might finally be awake. It feels a little unsettling seeing his eyes when it is open because it feels empty and soulless. I just hope the next time I see his eyes open that he will actually be awake and not just a bodily reflex.

My friend is alive, and I guess I can be content with that for now.

Oh wow! He may make it! Here's hoping he's still there. If he won't be able to move or anything then it may be best to let him go, but things are looking up.

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55 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

Oh wow! He may make it! Here's hoping he's still there. If he won't be able to move or anything then it may be best to let him go, but things are looking up.

Thanks. I hope he is still there, but it feels a bit disheartening to see that every time he coughs or jerks made me think that he is waking up.

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1 minute ago, XRay said:

Thanks. I hope he is still there, but it feels a bit disheartening to see that every time he coughs or jerks made me think that he is waking up.

Can see why. You're welcome.

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I just woke up to check my text, and my friend died just after midnight. Guess it was not meant to be.

It is going to be a long while before I meet him again. Hope he can experience whatever he missed out in life in the afterlife. And he can avoid the bullshit here on Earth too.

Not really sure what I am feeling right now. I think I feel more empty than sad.

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42 minutes ago, XRay said:

I just woke up to check my text, and my friend died just after midnight. Guess it was not meant to be.

It is going to be a long while before I meet him again. Hope he can experience whatever he missed out in life in the afterlife. And he can avoid the bullshit here on Earth too.

Not really sure what I am feeling right now. I think I feel more empty than sad.

RIP 😞

He didn't suffer too much, I hope.

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47 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

RIP 😞

He didn't suffer too much, I hope.

Yeah. He has not been conscious since the accident, so I hope that means he never felt any pain.

My friends and I are trying to find and gather all the pictures we have of him as a way to remember to him.

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1 minute ago, XRay said:

Yeah. He has not been conscious since the accident, so I hope that means he never felt any pain.

My friends and I are trying to find and gather all the pictures we have of him as a way to remember to him.

My condolences.

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